I nearly fainted with relief as the doubts and fears were swept away for good with a vanishing, “Told you sooooooo,” as they went. I smiled all over.

Inform the Constitutional Peasants of the farcical aquatic ceremony. I'll be the watery tart that throws a 'sword' to this king.

Justine arrives to collect her belongings after distancing herself from her friends. She finds that she is connected to the String of Pearls in ways that she didn't appreciate before.

Forgot to add that this installment is very much Not Safe For Work. Sorry for adding the warning a little late. 8) Enjoy!
- Eclectic Kitty

Part Seven: Paternity Sorority

“Grace? You're tea is getting cold. Chai with milk and honey, just as you like it,” she enticed.

Checking my hair in the mirror, I saw that it had grown long enough to warrant a trim. My face had done well with the style I've worn for some months now, but it was high maintenance. A straight bob would make me look like anyone else around, were it not for its colour. A short, sleek bob it is, then.

On my way to the kitchen, a rap came at the door.

“Got it,” I called to Shiv, who had gone into the spare bedroom.

Checking the peephole, I saw the expected face that brought me both joy and sadness.

“Welcome, Justine.”

“You don't sound so sure of that.”

“Please come in,” I offered like I meant it-- which I did.

“Thank you. Is there a box I can take with me?”

“I had hoped that we could talk first. Shiv will be out in a moment. Would you care for some tea while we wait?”

“Actually, I just wanted to grab my stuff and go.”

“Nonsense. We've something important to tell you and we have something important to ask of you. Please stay for a spell?”

I could see her searching my face for something. What she expected to find, I could not say. After a time, she relented by sitting down in front of our server computer, opposite our two desks.

“Shiv?”

“Did you get the door?”

“Yes, I did. Justine has arrived. Are you ready?”

“Hi Justine!”

“Shiv.”

“Actually, Grace, could you bring your tea in here for a minute? I think we need to hash out a couple of details before we talk to Justine.”

I blushed a little while I excused myself, picked up my tea from the kitchen, then slipped in to talk with Shiv.

This is nuts. Why did I come here? Why do I feel so angry? So despondent? Despondent? Who says that? Aw hell, I've spent too much time around Shiv and Grace. I want to leave, but I know that if I go, that I'll have to come back another time.

Whoa. That must be my stuff. Ugh, what a heavy box. My favorite sweater! I wonder why Chris never brought it to me. Oh my God, it smells like him.

I shouldn't be thinking such thoughts. I have a girlfriend. This is nuts. Totally nuts.

Just a sniff. Damn, I miss him. Blink. Breathe. Blink. Not gonna cry. Breathe.

Mmm... Silky. What's this? Oh no. Not this.

We had been dating for months, but had been holding at second base. It was maddening. Chris was being a gentleman and I was feeling like I had to measure up to his morals. Not like mine were lacking, but I'm just saying.

Chris was dressing as a woman regularly now and passing reasonably well, but he had a man's personality and that deep voice of him made any attempt to sound girly, sound like Pete Burns. I didn't care, because he was slender enough to fit my clothes reasonably well and graceful enough to learn how to be presentable out in public. So he didn't talk much. [shrug]

I gave him my long-sleeved lemon-lime Hale Bob dress that cost me a bit of begging, but it had only been a bittersweet loss. It looked fantastic on him and the splashy vertical lines helped the silicone-filled condoms with the nipple/reservoir tips we put underneath look genuine. Those took two freaking weeks to get right. I'm just glad he didn't try to compensate by going all-out humongous.

It was one afternoon after we went to go watch a movie together that acting like just a pair of girlfriends in public and a few too many stops at second base blew up into a fight.

“Where are we going with-- this?” Chris demanded in a serious growl, pointing at himself, then me.

I was flabbergasted and set on edge immediately. We'd just come home to my house after a beautiful afternoon of holding hands while walking through the maze-like rows and fragrant roses of the Rose Garden in San Jose. We were in love and it showed, though I was saving my kisses for when we got inside. Apparently, Chris was having issues about something other than today, because I was on cloud nine.

“You are becoming more of a girl?”

“Let's not play anymore. I love dressing up for you and for myself, but I have to confess that I'd throw it all in the crapper if it meant being able to kiss you in public. This dress feels like a prison when we can't be honest about our feelings at any given time. In fact, I think that you may even be using my 'journey to womanhood' as a comfort buffer so that I won't get too close.”

Though his eyes were full of accusations that I was not happy about, his face showed hope somehow.

“Where do you get off telling me that I'm the one who is keeping us 'buffered'? It's you that won't take things to the next step, not me. You always stop short, asking if I'm OK or that you'll stop if I'm uncomfortable. Well, the mood's right in the can each time you say it and after the tenth time I've heard it, I stop trying so hard because I'm pretty sure that's all you want from me.

“Damn it, Chris, I haven't been pushing you away. I've been waiting for you to stop holding back.”

“Then what could possibly stay you from expressing your feelings when we're out together? Afraid of being labelled as different? Queer? A lesbian or worse?”

“Yes,” I said through clenched teeth and angry tears.

“Then we'll stop. As much as I felt at one time that I wanted to become a woman, I now know that I love women so much that I wish I were one. It may be splitting hairs, but I know that I make a poor woman. I don't have to be one to be close to one, and the one I want to be with is you.”

His words confused me. I was getting upset and wanted to throw something at him. Could you blame me for choosing myself? If you were there, you wouldn't. The air was alive like a spring day after a good rain.

We kissed passionately, searchingly, openly. I would uphold no limits to exploring our love and the best way to do that was to show him.

I unbuttoned the dress I'd given him earlier that day and it fell to the floor. The bra and waist cincher were next. I let him handle the black boy shorts and gaff while I lost my shorts and tank top. He insisted on taking off my undergarments slowly.

Getting worried about my parents coming home in about two hours, I tore off my panties and gaff and just shrugged at Chris's slightly disappointed look.

He began kissing me all over, playfully licking at the underside of each breast, nibbling an earlobe, kissing my nipples, kissing the head of my penis, lightly drawing his nails along my hips, hungrily kissing me.

I was mad with passion when he started telling me how beautiful I was and how he'd waited so long for this moment. Maybe he was as nervous as I was, but he definitely wasn't too nervous to stand at attention down there. If you really must know, I was as scared as I was horny. I wanted him bad. It was my first time going all the way, if that's what this was going to come to, though. My inner devil girl was waving me on at third plate to go for home.

Chris and I had been walking toward my room while arguing, so I jumped on the bed and beckoned him with a finger. I shouldn't have bothered, because he was in mid-leap after the first curl of my finger.

Even if he had no problems with an erection, I felt too shaky to get it up all the way, but that didn't stop Chris from trying. He kissed his way down to my penis and started to make light gagging noises as he kept sucking me into his throat.

“Chris. Babe.”

“Mmm?”

“I need to change positions. Cramp,” I lied. I was pretty sure that I was a 'bottom' anyway, so I needed his attention-- elsewhere.

He let me out with a slight 'pop' that made me giggle. Horrified that I might be spoiling the mood, I looked down anxiously, but he was smiling.

That's when he surprised me by flipping me over. My God, he is strong, I cooed inwardly. What came out was, "Oh, yes." Great. Now I sound like I've watched one too many pornos.

He bit lightly at my buttocks and traced his fingers down my spine, then across my waist, stopping at my dimples at the base of my spine.

Hmm. He didn't seem to notice how cheesy I sounded.

Damn if it wasn't driving me crazy that he was being so much of a gentleman. I encouraged him to be bolder with some light moaning whenever he got close to my colorless anus. Yes, I checked. Yes, I knew it was hot. I just needed to get Chris on that wavelength.

I started moving my ass to meet his face whenever he came close enough, but that didn't seem to give him the clue, so I propped myself up on my left arm and started caressing and tugging at the nipple of my right breast. That worked like a charm.

His tongue explored the deep crevice between my full, round cheeks and I felt myself appreciating his attention at last as my cock began to swell.

My lover noticed and vibrated my insides with a low rumble of satisfaction. Moving teasingly slowly, he pulled my penis down and back with his right thumb rubbing the sensitive folds of my flat scrotum.

The sensation of Chris moving that thumb into and around the spot where my testicles used to be as he squeezed and tugged at my hardening cock was almost enough to make me cum.

To add to the energy building inside, he began licking the area where my thigh met my butt, making his way inward, and I barely steadied myself, knowing I needed to wait.

To break me out of his spell, I begged, “Chris, could you touch me; there?”

“Sure thing, love.”

It may be sappy, but I loved it when he called me that.

Chris had plans of his own, it seemed. He pressed two fingers inside the folds behind my erection, then started stroking the shaft from the inside as well as outside.

I was nearly over the moon until he placed a slippery thumb just inside the spasming opening of my ass. I was shocked by the cool enough to be able to hold back yet again.

“Is it all right if I...?” he asked with adorable innocence.

“Yes, but you might need more lubrication than just spit.”

“Got it,” he said, carefully withdrawing his thumb and fingers from me and turning toward his backpack that held his 'normal' clothes. With little more than a zip and a couple of clicks of plastic, he had a very cold, but much more slippery thumb.

“Umm, what was that?” I asked from my face-down position.

“Oh. It's a bit of Liquid Silk that Grace gave me. Said she wouldn't need it anymore.”

“Your sister gave you lube? Anal lube?”

“It's not anal lube, really. It's just a normal lubricant. I didn't ask why she bought it or where or how she was going to use it, and I feel it best to keep it that way.”

He looked like a salesman as he held up the bottle with one hand while his lubricated thumb on the other hand dripped creamy white lube. I smiled at him expectantly until he caught a clue and got back to work.

It was shocking to me that I had found this man, who had the ability to please me so easily, who brought a song to my heart and a laugh to my lips. Now here he was, accepting me for who I am and not what I might be or what I should be or what he wants me to be.

“Are you okay?” he asked as he stopped stroking my back.

“I'm perfect. I love you.”

“Do you want to wait?”

I suppressed a groan and let him have it, “Just keep at it until I tell you otherwise, you charming ass!”

“Straight away, madame,” he chortled. That jackass was toying with my head! I grinned despite myself.

Chris went around in circles, gently pressing inward with each swirl around firing off nerves like a glissando on a piano (think 'Great Balls of Fire'), the ramp of notes echoing in my lower abdomen and urging my pulse on. My breathing fell into the rhythm as well.

When the tip of his thumb entered me, I nearly locked up, but was far too lost in how awesome the other sensations felt to let it last for more than a moment. I relaxed and fell back into the groove when his free hand moved across my back, then my ass and returned to work on my aching member.

“You have the most outrageously sexy figure. I can't get over how sweet your skin is, how smooth your curves are, or how stunningly gorgeous your face is. Even your penis is curved and femininely smooth. You are a wonder to me, which makes you wonderful, I suppose, love.”

All the while he was talking to me in his low sexy drawl, I was concentrating on his thumb, going deeper and seeming to hit a wall of resistance.

I relaxed against it and opened myself to it, but his thumb was feeling hard and a bit invasive.

“Chris?”

“Yes, lover?”

“Could you use something softer?” I asked with a hint of apology in it.

“Right.”

He slowly withdrew and if he didn't know I was a virgin by now, he was crazy. I felt terrycloth cleaning the lube off me, only to be replaced by a hot, wet set of lips and a probing tongue that dove almost as deep as his thumb had been.

I was in heaven. It felt so good I started moaning and pushing back against his face to make him go deeper. That's when I got his teeth. Ow. I winced and sucked in a breath through a grimace.

It wasn't hard to relax again, especially when Chris started going around in circles. It was wonderful and I could have let him do just that all day long, but I needed more for some reason.

“Chris?”

“Yeah, Justine, love?”

“I-- I think want you inside me.”

Think? Pff. I knew I did, but why I felt like a little girl asking for a present that was too expensive, I couldn't tell you. I turned to read his expression and saw his thick erection and his smile. I buried my face.

“Tell me how much is okay,” he offered sweetly.

Won't know unless you try. I tried not to brace myself.

“OK. I'm ready,” I lied again. Why do lovers lie to each other? Because they'd never get any, that's why. I was sure, but I wasn't that sure. God, I hope he doesn't rip me apart with that fat sausage.

He pressed his slippery, cold/warm cock to my opening and changed angles for entry, then pressed inside, a little faster than I was ready for. I heard him go, “Ooh. Sorry Justine.”

I said it was OK, but I think he knew that I was toughing it out. He pressed a little, it started to hurt and I made a little peep of protest.

“This is all wrong, Justine.”

My heart caught in my throat. Was he saying that I was wrong for him? What was wrong? All my fears came rushing into me and started dancing, laughing and singing, “Told you so! Told you so!”

He pulled out slowly and that actually felt really good.

“I think you should be the one on top, so that you can have full control. Besides, how else could I see your beautiful face and play with your perfect breasts?”

I nearly fainted with relief as the doubts and fears were swept away for good with a vanishing, “Told you sooooooo,” as they went. I smiled all over.

Inform the Constitutional Peasants of the farcical aquatic ceremony. I'll be the watery tart that throws a 'sword' to this king. Rowr. Tee hee.

“I think I'd like that.”

He got down onto the bed and I straddled him, helping him to aim at my slightly sore, yet still eager ass. The change in position made a world of difference. I moved back against him and though it was a little iffy at first, that gave way to intense pleasure as I slowly slid onto him.

I started moving up and down, taking him inside a little more each time. His face looked like a painting where the artist had used bold, colorful strokes to capture their favorite emotion: bliss.

I felt him myself allow him past the inner ring that was holding him back before and that's when he tickled my prostate. The explosion of pleasure caused me to raise my eyebrows, throw my head back as my back arched and start moaning in ecstasy. It was as intense as an orgasm, but without the spasms. A whole new level of body and spirit awareness filled me as surely as Chris did.

My hips moved of their own accord in a circle, all discomfort forgotten. Chris had leaned forward and took my right areola into his mouth and started sucking greedily, flicking my nipple with his tongue quicker than I could have believed possible. His hand, covered in lube, started pumping my crescent-shaped shaft as he began rumbling with low moans through my breast.

With every ounce of energy I could gather, I rode up and down and in circles to fit as much of Chris into me as I could manage, hearing my buttocks slap his hips with each drop.

Unable to hold back any longer, I came all over Chris, myself, the bed. I shook and yelled so loud that I'm certain half the neighborhood heard me. I didn't care.

Coming down to earth again, something struck me: this must be how someone came up with super heroes. I felt like I had super powers. This has to be how it feels. I was shaking from it; humming with it.

Chris and I locked eyes and he smiled up at me with his wet neck and wetter belly. He kissed my nipple and it was like a shot of pleasure and pain at once.

“Ow, I think.”

“Ow? Did I overdo it before?”

“No, no. It's just-- sensitive. OK,” I decided, “your turn, honey.”

“No need for that. I've already, uhh, had my turn. I was just far quieter,” he added with a chuckle.

“Is that so? Then why are you still hard in me?” I challenged with a bounce and an involuntary clench that made me shudder with pleasure.

“Regardless, I have had a spectacular orgasm, though nowhere near as intense as yours.”

“Well, if you aren't going anywhere, maybe I could watch you orgasm a second time?”

Shit, I can't believe I missed him having an orgasm. Does that mean we came together? Oh, that is so hot.

“I wouldn't dream of being anywhere but right here with you.”

“Are you sure you don't want to go get cleaned up?” I asked as I made little circles with my hips, brushing his thighs with my ass.

“Very sure!” he wheezed.

Shiv walked out of the bedroom first, looking anywhere but directly at me, which I was quite thankful for, since I was having a hard time getting 'comfortable' due to being all bound up by my gaff at the moment. Though my skirt is knee-length, I seriously hope that my legs are crossed properly.

Grace came out behind Shiv and pushed her toward me. Something is amiss.

Grace rolled the two chairs from their computers around to face me. Shiv sat down gingerly. She put her hand on her belly and seemed to take courage from it. Ohmigod. She's pregnant!

“When? Who?”

“Huh? How did you know?” Shiv, aghast, asked meekly.

Grace fielded that one before I could, “You are glowing, Shiv. Everyone knows.”

“Well, you two tipped me off by being all secretive and then Shiv acted like she needed to be careful when she got in her chair.”

“Right. Well, that's not the chief surprise we have for you, though that's certainly a large part of what's to tell.”

Grace finished her tea in a gulp and put the cup aside.

“When you split with Chris and moved back to Santa Clara, he took it all very hard. He dove into his work and still was only just keeping his end up for the flat you two were renting. When he fell behind, he moved into a small studio in this building on the second floor.

“Chris was making it after that. Had expendable cash, was saving some for a better car, ate healthy foods... Only trouble was that he somehow ended up short for utilities and had not much more than a bed and a desk at the end of the day.

“We wondered where his money had gone, but that is truly of little matter now. The salient point is that he was selling his sperm to a sperm bank out at the Army Fertility Clinic on Cesar Chavez.”

“Hold on a sec. You are telling me he sold his sperm to the army?”

Shiv laughed at me. Until I showed her my 'I'm getting pissed' face.

“Cesar Chavez Street used to be Army Street. The clinic was there before the change.”

“Why'd they change it?”

“Well, it was to honor a true American of Mexican heritage. He is responsible for forming the United Farm Workers. He also was against illegal immigration, but not immigration through naturalization.”

“Shiv,” Grace said like she was irritated.

“All right. History lessons can wait. Jeeze.”

Sorry I asked.

“So what about his sperm? No. Shut up. You went and got his sperm?”

“Yes, but it took some doing and we had to pay full price. Worth it to keep it in the family, hmm?”

“I don't know what to say. Don't they have some privacy policies?”

“Of course they do,” Shiv assured me. “We got a lawyer and she said all we had to do was show them the death certificate and prove that a member of the family was claiming the right to his 'remains'. If you want to get morbid, the way we got them to finally hand it over was to tell them that we were going to bury it with him.”

“You don't look that pregnant. How long ago was this?”

“It was last year. We had to pay an outrageous fee to store it after procuring the right to it, let me tell you.

“Shiv here wasn't ready yet and neither was I, but we have been doing well after my promotion to solutions and integrations manager at Salzmann-Herbst Information Technology Solutions. Since Shiv recently got laid off from Wavefront Studios, we decided to finally do it.”

“Wow. I mean, wow. Chris is in there? A bit of him,I mean? I'm just not sure how to take that. Would he have wanted this if he were alive?”

Grace turned a bit red as her brow crinkled, but she was pretty firm in her answer.

“He fancied Shiv for a time, but I don't think he ever thought of growing old with her to have a family, if that's what you are asking. If we'd have asked it of him, I believe he would have been amenable.”

“Sweetie, we thought this through completely. As much of a pain in the ass as this was, we have had lots of time to think about it and many opportunities to turn back.”

“What does your mother think, Grace?”

I'm not even going to bring up her dad.

“She only learnt of it recently. She wasn't happy at first, because she thought we'd been sneaky about the whole matter. Once we told her how we did it, she was quite happy to have a grandchild on the way that was from her son and would be raised by her daughters.”

“She accepted you, Shiv?”

“Yes. We supported her when Bruce left for Edmonton. She had forgotten that she liked me, but I reminded her that we'd been family since they moved here from Hong Kong.”

“That's the rose-tinted way of looking at it. The fact of the matter is that she thought that Shiv had somehow caused me to be homosexual. I disabused her of this notion and told her that it is not a choice, but choice does remain when it comes to what to do about it; or how to react to it.”

“That's so brave of you. My parents have taken care of me financially. It's out of guilt, mostly, but I can't complain much. They've supported me at least in one major way.

“What are you going to name the baby?”

“Ms. Non-sequitur strikes again!” Shiv announced to no one who thought it was funny.

Stuff it, Grace.

“We were going with Tiberius, but that's such an overused name,” Shiv joked.

At least, I think she was joking. Trekkies or Trekkers or whatever get scary when you question their sanity by asking why they worship a TV show from like, fifty years ago.

“And if it's a girl?”

“Miramanee,” Grace said with an alarming sugary quality to her voice.

“Yeah. That'll go over well in grade school.”

“Oh come on, Justine. We were just kidding,” Shiv teased. “If you had a say in the matter, what would you choose?”

I was surprised to be asked, but the answer came instantly to me.

“Chris for a boy or Justine for a girl.”

“Well,” Grace started snootily, “no self-importance there, then. Eh, Shiv?”

“Oh, come on. We considered it.”

“Nice to know I was thought of,” I remarked testily.

“Look, love, we have gone through hundreds of names, bouncing them off each other and coming up with a rather long list of 'no's, 'no thank you's and 'no way in hell's. We are going to wait to meet the little one before naming him or her. We just wanted your input.”

I was a bit put off that they weren't going to use Chris or Cretein, but they hadn't exactly said that they wouldn't either.

Shiv pushed across the carpet toward me with her chair and put a hand on my knee.

“We want you to have a say because we know that Chris's desire for a family was what came between you two. We suspect it was your inability to have a child with him that made you leave?”

“Well, not entirely, but yes. He wanted his own kids and I wasn't ready for one and didn't want to commit to adopt just yet, either. I never thought of asking you to be a mother for us, Shiv.”

“I'd not want that myself. I don't think I could ever make a baby, then give it up. I'm sorry if that sounds cold. We do want you to be a big part of this baby's life, though. Does 'Auntie Justine' have a good ring to it?”

“It does,” I admitted with a bit if sadness. I don't know if it was for me that I was sad or if I was thinking of Chris and him not being here to see his baby. I guess he decided that he might not have one of his own in any case if he was selling his--

“Why did he sell his sperm if he was planning on having a family?” I demanded.

Grace and Shiv looked like they had been caught in a lie. They looked at me and each other, but didn't answer.

“Hello? What is it?”

Grace moved as close as Shiv and picked up my left hand. Shiv picked up my right. I knew I didn't want to hear what was coming, and they did too.

Grace looked me in the eye at least when she told me, “Chris wanted no one but you. He was prepared to give up on a family if he couldn't have one with you.

“That's not your responsibility, but something he had taken upon himself. No one blames you for leaving him. He just held out hope that he'd be able to win you back. That box you have there is evidence to me that you wanted to at least keep the door open.”

“I did want to keep the option to come back open. Chris was everything to me, but he wanted too much too fast. He was ready to settle down and I wanted to live life a little. I couldn't even see having a pet, let alone a kid.” I was starting to tear up and felt shame for not being there for Chris at least until the accident.

“I have a new girlfriend now and she is starting to ask about a family as well. She hasn't been pressing, but she has put the idea out there. What's wrong with me that I have been avoiding having a family? I'm only twenty-six, but almost everyone around me is settling down.”

“I'm no psychiatrist,” Shiv said, “but I think that you didn't have a very conventional family and that colors your perception of how you think you'll be as a parent and how you may behave in a serious relationship.

“In my opinion, you should throw that out and do for your children what you believe is best. I'm not going to boast about having been raised in a perfect family, but they have qualities that I intend to exhibit when this one comes along,” she said proudly while rubbing her belly.

“I'd have to second that,” Grace added with a smile. “What say you, Justine?”

“I guess I'll have to see when I have a family of my own.”

“Say,” Grace said, the word dripping suspicion, “I thought you weren't keen on having an open same-sex relationship.”

“Well, that is easy to explain. I was wrong-- about what I want in a partner. Chris showed me that I needed to think about someone other than myself. I've also come to a decision about what I'm going to do regarding my transformation, so Desiree and I are not going to be in a 'same-sex' relationship in any case. Besides, she lives in Newark and I spend all my time there, so not it's not like anyone I know is going to find out. And you know what? So what if they do?”

Shiv took in a breath of mock shock.

“Good for you, girl. Welcome to the sisterhood of Tri Pi.”

Shiv and Grace then announced together, "Tri Pi: Once you do, you'll never go back," as if they had practiced.

The pair erupted in laughter, due to my burning crimson face.

“Thanks?” I squeaked.

“I'm sure that's not all you have to tell us about this Desiree--

"Justine,” Grace accused suddenly.

“What?”

“You never did answer whether you could have erections.”

Shiv got up, patting me on the shoulder as she passed.

“More tea, Grace? How about you, Justine? Stay for dinner?”