His body was so hard and muscular. Being held in Ryan’s arms made her feel like the safest girl in the world. She pressed her breasts against his chest as their lips met for a brief moment.
Ryan was all too aware of his girlfriend’s boobs pressing against him. His eyes glanced down at them for a brief moment. They were so amazing he thought as he caught a small glimpse of her lacy bra from that point of view.
“Oops, I got a little lipstick on you.” Jessica giggled as she used her finger to wipe his lips.
The warm bath water felt great on her skin as the perfume of the bubble bath wafted through the air and the small bubbles surrounded her.
The blade of the Lady’s Gilette slid up her leg shaving the miniscule amount of hair that grew.
She stepped out of the bath and enrobed herself in the light pink terrycloth robe. A towel was wrapped around her long hair. Jessica sat down on her bed and placed the toe separators on her feet.
The “strawberry passion” nail polish was expertly painted on her toenails. She thought back at how her mom told her how passionate she was about painting nails. It paid off now as she finished her feet and moved on to her long fingernails. Now those look pretty!
Jessica sat down at her vanity.
She pulled the towel off her semi-wet head and picked up her brush. She gently brushed her hair and strategically rolled sections in curlers. She was so happy with the highlights she had done at the beauty parlor.
Ok, first some foundation. A little cream on the sponge and a dab here… a dab there. Smooth it out.
A dusting of powder on the puff and a gentle touch all over the face. Just like a porcelain doll!
Twisting off the liquid eye liner and a thin line on the top and bottom of the lids. It’s a special evening so let’s look dramatic.
What color for the eyes? Earth tones is the way to go, but who says earth tones have to be boring? A deep brown shadow is applied with the brush then followed with a shimmery, fun tan accent. Loving that look! The eyes look smokey.
Eyelashes are crimped with the eyelash curler. Jessica was so happy her mom taught her that trick. The “long lash” mascara wand is removed and pushed in and out of the tube a couple times to make sure the sticky black liquid is adhered evenly.
Slow, long strokes are used to pull and separate each lash on the top and bottom lids. If people didn’t know better they would think she had fake lashes on.
So the focus is on the eyes so let’s not overdo the lips.
A little lip-liner first. The lips are carefully enhanced by the pencil adding a heart shape to the top lips. A nice reddish-pink will look nice. Cap removed…tube turned to expose the stick. Just like a pro the lips are coated with the dense, creamy substance. Blot a bit on the tissue and finish with a little glossy shimmer. Now those are some kissable lips!
A little dab of rose hue on the brush and the cheekbones are brought to life. Not too much, just to enhance the beauty.
Jessica turned her head either way and marveled at her work. She had become quite the makeup artist.
She thought of how much Ashley had helped her with all these feminine essentials. She missed Ashley and thought about how she needed to call her. They kept in touch often since the move.
The curlers were removed and her hair brushed out. A little bit of hairspray to get everything looking just right. Perfect!
Ashley got up and took her robe off. She admired her figure in the full length mirror. Was her ass bigger? The constant self critique about her shape was something she envied about her former boy self. He wouldn’t have cared about his hips or ass. Oh well she giggled it off.
Her body really had no need for concern. It was a masterpiece of feminine beauty. Her body was petite, soft and curvy. The pert, tear drop breasts fully filled their 34c bras. The small waist of 24 inches softly curved into rounded hips of 35 inches which gave her the namesake hourglass figure.
Jessica opened her dresser drawer and rummaged through the soft delicates. A thong was in order as well as a strapless bra. After several moments the perfect set was found.
The panties were stepped into and pulled up around her waist. She admired the smooth, flat crotch. Having the sex change operation was an ordeal that required a lot of bed time and care. Having to dilate her vagina was painful and uncomfortable at first, but her careful attention to it resulted in deep depth.
The fact that she now had the girl’s plumbing gave her peace of mind and confidence. The pretty thong panty with its light pink bow up front hugged her petite, penis-less body like a glove. There won’t be any panty lines tonight she thought.
She wrapped the bra around her torso, fastened the clamp and turned it around. A quick pull up and her boobs were contained. She snuck her hand in either cup and lifted each breast high up to promote her ample cleavage. She loved the cute little bow in the center of the bra that matched its panty.
Now which pair of pantyhose to wear? Her mom had tried to get her to wear nylons or go bare but Jessica had a fondness for pantyhose that would not relinquish its hold on her.
Nudes are the way to go.
She made sure her toenails were dry and began bunching up the pantyhose in her hands. Her toes were inserted and the sheer, thin material slowly unraveled unto her smooth legs.
As soon as both her legs were encased in the nylon up to the knee, Jessica stood up and pulled them the rest of the way up until they snugly surrounded her torso. She did a little dance and pulled the panty of the hose up so that the cotton was flush with her vagina. She hated it when they sagged.
She looked at herself in the mirror and giggled a little with joy. She felt so pretty and gushed over her feminine undergarments.
Jessica already had the perfect dress laid out on her bed. It was a pink cocktail dress with thin shoulder straps with sequin embroidered high waist that gave it a baby doll look.
She unzipped the back and stepped into the garment. She pulled it up around her torso and slipped her arms through the straps.
“Mom! Can you help me zip up my dress?”
Amanda entered her daughter’s room.
“Wow, you look stunning Jessica.”
“Thanks mom.”
Jessica turned around and Amanda gently began zipping up the back of the dress. She noticed the thong panties under the sheer to waist pantyhose.
“My my aren’t those panties a bit on the sexy side?”
“Aww Mom, don’t give me hard time. These were a present from Ashley.”
“Alright, I’m just saying is all.” Amanda replied as she finished zipping the back of the dress up.
“You look like a princess sweetie.” Amanda complimented her daughter.
“Thanks mom.”
Jessica strapped the buckles on her high heels as her mom left the room. She loved the way her legs looked as the skirt of her dress gently folded over them. She felt so very pretty!
As she stood up she looked at herself from all angles in the full length mirror. She did a little twirl and giggled with excitement.
She had come so far since moving away from her old neighborhood. A new town with new people who didn’t have any preconceived thoughts about her and who she used to be. Sure she missed Ashley dearly, but it was clear that moving away was needed.
Walking over to her vanity, she grabbed her heart shaped earrings and put them on. The way that she could feel the slight tug from the weight of the earrings sent chills down her spine.
Psst Psst. Jessica sprayed the perfume on her wrists giving them a rub together. Psst on her neck. Psst on her breasts.
Jessica made sure that she had all of her essentials in her little purse. Lipstick for freshening up, a compact of foundation with mirror for a touchup should it be necessary, breath mints for kissing she hoped.
“Jessica, Ryan is here.” Amanda called upstairs.
“Coming.” She replied.
Jessica took a deep breath and began walking downstairs. Her heart was pounding.
Ryan felt a huge lump in his throat. His palms were moist and his mouth dry. Suddenly he felt like he was hit by a Mac truck as he beheld the vision of beauty gliding down the stairs.
Jessica looked stunning. Ryan’s eyes went straight to her legs which looked like they went on for a mile.
With her at the top of the stairs it looked like you could almost see up her skirt. His eyes began moving to look but he caught himself…must be a gentleman. As she neared him his attention was drawn to the low cut top of her dress. Wow! Her tits were spilling out of it! The milky, soft globes sent his head spinning.
“You look absolutely beautiful.” He said with a quivering voice.
“Thanks, you look so handsome.” Jessica replied. He did look so gorgeous. That tux fit his body perfectly. She knew it was a little cliché, the Quarterback dating the head cheerleader, but ever since she laid eyes on him she knew that she was attracted to boys. It started off as innocent flirtation but she had her eyes on the prize. The way she would shake her hips on the field or bend over as he ran by sealed the deal. Now they were on their way to the prom…how exciting!
The two hugged.
His body was so hard and muscular. Being held in Ryan’s arms made her feel like the safest girl in the world. She pressed her breasts against his chest as their lips met for a brief moment.
Ryan was all too aware of his girlfriend’s boobs pressing against him. His eyes glanced down at them for a brief moment. They were so amazing he thought as he caught a small glimpse of her lacy bra from that point of view.
“Oops, I got a little lipstick on you.” Jessica giggled as she used her finger to wipe his lips.
“I got this for you.” Ryan said as he presented her with a very feminine corsage. He gently placed it on her wrist. It looked so pretty she thought.
“Well you two have a great time! Call me if you need anything.” Amanda said as the two left for the limo.
Amanda thought of how well everything turned out. It had been 4 months since they had moved from the old neighborhood and she was amazed at how well Jessica had not only adjusted but flourished.
There were many doubts about the extreme lengths that were taken to change Jessie’s habits and she still doubted if it was the right move. The end result however was a very happy, well adjusted girl. Life was indeed very good now.
Jason seemed to be in a funk as of late. He didn’t know what was wrong with him. Even though he always thought that he didn’t need anyone especially his mom for anything, his current situation really scared him.
“Mom, can I talk to you for a minute?”
“Sure Jason. What’s on your mind?”
“Ummm…” Jason began but could not get the words out. Tears began rolling down his eyes. What the hell?!? Compose yourself you little wuss!
“Oh baby! Why are you crying?”
“There’s something wrong with me mom.” Jason said with a sob. “I feel weird lately and my chest is all messed up.”
“Well the flu is going around Jason, maybe you just need some rest. What’s wrong with your chest?”
“I don’t know mom, but it’s been really sore and now it’s puffy. I think I have an infection or something.”
“Can I take a look honey?”
“Ok”
Jason lifted his shirt gingerly to show his mom.
She took a double take as she beheld two small mounds protruding from either side of his chest. It looked like he was budding for sure.
“Can I touch it?”
“Be careful mom, it’s really sensitive.”
“I will be.” She replied as she touched the soft, giving flesh.
“Well it does look like an infection. I’m sure it will go away but we need to get something on there to protect it until the swelling goes down.”
“Ok mom.” Jason replied wiping the tears from his eyes. She made him feel better.
“I’ll be right back ok?”
His mom left the room and headed to her bedroom. She opened the box of girl’s clothes and pulled out the lavender camisole.
She dialed her cell phone.
“Hello?”
“He is budding! It looks like he has been developing for a while now. It must have taken so much courage for him to approach me.”
“Good good good.”
“I’m going to bring him a camisole to wear but I’m worried that he will reject it.”
“He is very susceptible to suggestions. He will wear it. Don’t worry. Let me know what happens ok?”
“I will! I’m so excited with the changes I’ve seen with him so far. Thank you so much for your help Susan. I saw how it changed Jessie and I’m sure Jason will be a well adjusted person with this program.”
Comments
Shaken
I did enjoy the story even if I am a bit shaken.
Hilltopper
Glad To See That Jessica Doing So Well. But,
Now what about Jason? can his sister Ashley help?
May Your Light Forever Shine
May Your Light Forever Shine
The Softening Of Jason
This was a wonderful story but I'm a bit disappointed at such an abrupt ending. I hope this will segway into a sequel for Jason. Maybe bringing Jessica back in to help Jason. Ashley, you are a gifted writer so I will be looking forward to more stories from you.
lisaloren
Do you know what my biggest
Do you know what my biggest gripe with these story sites is.The fact that the sick bitches can do what they want,and are never punished.And any female that finds out what is going on,they jump right in and say,"let's have some fun",also the victim alway rolls over and says"I love what you did to me,I love you".
What is wrong with the victim getting a backbone and revenge against the ones responsible.
[Admin Note - Sephrena: Edited line out due to site violation.]
And yes I do know it's just a story, but I read them in the vain hope that there is some justice in the stories. But those are few and far between
Excuuuse me?
Don't you DARE accuse the author of such a thing without even knowing her at all mew >< Do you even have a muse, or know how it works, we CANNOT help what kinds of stories come to us! I'm a pacifist, probably one of the biggest pacifists anyone has ever seen mew, and my muse loves gory, bloody horror filled stories, and IRL I'm like so squeamish about that stuff mew. I cannot allow you to talk like that about this wonderful author mew, I've talked with her, she's a sweetie! ><
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I know who I am, I am me, and I like me ^^
Bisexual, transsexual, girlie girl, princess, furry that writes horror stories and proud ^^
I know who I am, I am me, and I like me ^^
Transgender, Gamer, Little, Princess, Therian and proud :D
The offense was edited Out
BigCloset TopShelf
This is the sort of comment ...
... that makes many readers very reluctant to comment at all.
~How dare you actually tell us how this story made you feel, or what imagery it evoked in your mind~?
Oh, I forgot, we readers are only supposed to make comments of adulation. Anything else: just stifle yourself, will you?
Deni
What was said
BigCloset TopShelf
This is in response to moggicat64's comment, NOT princesschelsea's =^_^=
You should look at the STARK series of stories
They're written by Randalynn and are revenge on the evildoers that get away...they are really well done, and wouldn't mind seeing more of them...perhaps to go after Susan and the clinic from this story...
Frank
Wonderful story!!!! I really
Wonderful story!!!! I really enjoyed it.
Jessie Series Will be missed
Here's to the end of the Jesie series, it was wonderful while it lasted. I was actually fine with not knowing where she ended up, but the real question is what will AshleyTS offer next? Isn't that the cruel part of the muse, the part that says, that was fine, but what now?
Arkady71
Conclusion
Thanks for a nice wrapup to this story. While the evildoers were not brought to a satisfyingly just end, Jessie seems happy with herself, and sometimes that's the best outcome you can get in this unfair world.
Jessica seemed focused on looking like a girl, and it still isn't clear to what extent she feels like one. Her femininity still appears to be mostly superficial. She's proud of her depth, but it isn't clear whether she's interested in letting her boyfriend experience it, how a prom date usually ends these days. Her reprogramming seems to have stuck to well, and she's still less than a complete person.
It was nice to see that she'd gotten back enough muscle tone to be a cheerleader. Jessie's old athleticism is still in there somewhere.
(It was a little disappointing that the most significant change she's undergone was given away in the teaser.)
Jennifer, I am to Blame for That
BigCloset TopShelf
I promise to do a much better job in the future. My bad. =^_^=
One missing keyword?
Horror?
Really. From the very beginning, I considered this a horror story. There a few moments - e.g. when Mom rebelled against her mother and called an end to the "program", much too late - when I thought that it would become a "cautionary tale". (sigh)
Deni
I COMPLETELY Disagree
This has never been a horror story for me. More like a daydream along the lines of "Oh please don't turn me into a girl, especially not a really pretty one whom everyone loves and ends up head cheerleader dating the QB! That would be just awful!"
When I first discovered TG fiction (admittedly rather late in the game) what struck me was how many of the stories I read were eerily similar to little fantasies I had been creating all my life. And the key-words on the sites quantified the types (sweet & sentimental/Magic/Drug-Induced/Caught) and the range of my contrivances included many of these (most not nearly as good as those by some of the authors who post here). I had some variation on the Medallion, gender switching diseases and machines, panty raids gone awry, and more often than not - the bad boy to good girl. I'll admit I've fantasized once or twice being turned into a girl by my mom and/or a friend's sister, always against my will, of course; why, you'd have to brainwash me to get me into a dress!
AshleyTS has exactly captured this archetypal fantasy. With clever dialog and vivid descriptions she has created a classic of the genre. It frustrates me, then, that people want to drag it into the real world and inject an arbitrary morality into it, continuously harping on irrelevant legal and medical ramifications. Something about TSOJ works. Despite the 'wicked' grandmother going unpunished, the Jessie to Jessica transformation feels right, so maybe she's like Thernadier in Les Mis; she intends evil (and I'm not convinced of that in this case) but accompolishes good.
Thanks Ashley for the fun ride. I guarantee you I shall re-read it from time to time, and I look forward to your next epic.
FINALLY!
Ever since the beginning I've been commenting on why Jessicafication was never applied to Jason. Well it finally is ... but you waited till the very end, ashley, you big tease. Nice twist that mom is behind it and not Ashley.
I'm not one to praise forced femme stories very often, but this one rocked! Congrats, Ashley, and here is a comics cover for you
BE a lady!
great story ashley
great story ashley
ive been following it from the start on fictionmania and really enjoyed it. you teased us with every part and i cant believe its now part 53 and finished. your writing was fantastic , humourous and left you wanting more .i know its probably been a long haul for you but i do hope you continue writing,if not these characters then some new ones.
thanks again for a great story
love
tracey
Thanks for posting
Darn, I just sent a PM to Ashley, now I guess I should post for all to see. I started reading this over on FM, and I'm glad you brought it to BC. I called it my "guilty pleasure", it's not the type of story I usually read. But I have enjoyed the twists and turns as Jessie's journey progressed. Even when I had a hard time reading it. Guess I'm not perfect, whodda thunk? ;-)
What I can't help but wonder is how Ashley can be seeing what is happening to her brother and not realize what is going on? Is some form of control being covertly used on her also? Damn Susan, she is sick, sick, sick!
In the end, I'm only disappointed that it came to such a fast conclusion. I'd like a bit more reassurance that Jessie has recovered from the worst of the conditioning and made the choice she did based on an open and reasoned evaluation of her situation.
Good work!
Karen J.
"Life is not measured by the breaths you take, but by the moments that take your breath away.”
George Carlin
I was not attacking this
I was not attacking this author specificily,but a large group of them,they seem to think that everybody wants to read stories like this.
And i happen to be both TG and TV,and find the depiction of females in these stories ofencive.
I also beleive in equality,especial in the area of punishment.
There is nothing wrong with teaching a lesson,but when you go out of your way to screw up someones life,then you are no better than the person you are trying to teach,if not worse,because they usually don't know any better
I suggest then
If you cannot comment without attacking the author or the genre, then do not read these types of stories. We have plenty of people who do enjoy it. If you attack authors or story types being written, you will get yourself in trouble. Please heed this warning.
~Val
Taking offense
This is what I was talking about. You're making a moral judgement on the worth of the story. This is fiction. By the same logic, all stories containing murders or other crimes are bad because murder and crime are bad.
Also, just because you think some authors believe everyone wants to read certain types of stories doesn't mean that you are permitted to insult the writers or fans of that kind of story. That's why your earlier comment here was redacted.
The fact that you like or dislike any particular sort of story gives you no moral authority at all. This place exists as a safe place for writers of TG fiction to find an audience. It's the BigCloset because there is room for all types of stories, authors and fans here.
You have the right to be offended by stories here. You even have the right to say in a comment that you found a story or a storyline offensive, personally. You don't have the right to make this a moral issue on my server. Being offended is not a position of moral superiority, it's just a personal opinion. Insulting the author is not allowed, though, because it would detract from the purpose of this website.
I personally hope that every story here has the potential to offend millions of people -- one of the worst things you can say about a piece of writing is that it is inoffensive.
Hugs,
Erin
= Give everyone the benefit of the doubt because certainty is a fragile thing that can be shattered by one overlooked fact.
= Give everyone the benefit of the doubt because certainty is a fragile thing that can be shattered by one overlooked fact.
Not at all ...
Erin wrote:
> ... By the same logic, all stories containing murders or other crimes are bad because murder and crime are bad.
Not so. It has to do with how they are presented. There is a place, for example, for "cautionary tales" where evil wins / the good guy loses, but we know that it's still evil. What is troubling in when evil is presented in a manner that seems to glorify it, or at least to fail to call it for what it is.
Yes, I know, this is ~fiction~ - and often fantasy, at that.
Most likely, the reason I come here is the same as most others: an escape from the "everyday". The thing is, when you work at the county dump, is it really an ~escape~ to visit the sewage treatment plant? Some of the stories leave me feeling that way.
That's why my most common complaint is inaccurate labeling of some stories. We're constantly told ~then don't read the stories that you don't like~. But how can one know unless they are adequately labeled?
Although I wouldn't have chosen the manner that moggicat64 expressed hir dismay, I very much feel hir frustration. I know that these things run in cycles, but there ~has~ been a rather significant spate of stories - from a variety of authors - both here and at StorySite, which feature psychotic women severely abusing the unfortunate male who has fallen into their clutches - just because they can. This is the only one among them where there seems to be any sense that what is being done to the victim is actually ~wrong~.
Deni
This is Fiction! And Guess what?....
BigCloset TopShelf
Freedom to write what the author wants - Thats what's up on the TopShelf of BigCloset!
PS - Im a victim of Forced Masculization and I LOVE The Softening of Jessie. =^_^=
Thanks all! I appreciate
Thanks all! I appreciate every comment...good and bad. It's fascinating to me that I can make someone's day or really piss them off. It has been a great experience and you have been great Sephrena!
Yeah, well, I guess ...
... you know you've really made your mark, when the comments take up more space than the story that engendered them. :)
IT'S AMAZING THE COMMENTS YOU GENERATED !
I had almost (not quite) as much fun reading the for/against comments, girl what a cat fight?
Anyway I knew that Granny would come through!
How about some stories based on Granny's conversions?
LoL
Rita
Ps. thanks for your excellent series.
Rita
Age is an issue of mind over matter.
If you don't mind, it doesn't matter!
(Mark Twain)
LoL
Rita
Thanks for all the great
Thanks for all the great comments Rita :)
I disagree
Again mew, a story is not about teaching lessons, it is about exactly what it is about, and nothing more mew. If it has a certain meaning, that's what you conceived of it, and to be honest I DO Know of some cisgendered women who act like those women in this story mew. There are a BILLION different types of women, and a billion different types of men. Unfortunately a lot of those attitudes are learned from society but I actually know of a few women who choose to act that way simply because it suits them best in their opinions mew.
I agree, this story was terrible in the sense that Susan is an insane psychopath and has gotten away with what's she's done mew. But that doesn't mean it was badly written, or makes the author a bad person. It makes SUSAN a bad person mew. She's the bad one, so Susan we can take, and dump in a vat of acid, that's okay mew ^^ And the clinic as well, mental trials or not, what they are doing is illegal, and a crime against morality mew. So the clinic needs to go mew ^^ But AshleyTS has committed no crimes mew, and before you accuse her of manipulating her own story. Find out more about her first mew, it IS true some authors will manipulate their stories to suit their readership, in fact maybe it's most authors, I'm trying to write TG fiction, when before I'd never written anything about the genre before mew. So maybe it's us all, however though that is our CHOICE, not yours, not our mothers, not the governments, but OUR choice mew ^^ So please, respect that choice and don't blame us for the atrocities created by our characters ^^
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I know who I am, I am me, and I like me ^^
Bisexual, transsexual, girlie girl, princess, furry that writes horror stories and proud ^^
I know who I am, I am me, and I like me ^^
Transgender, Gamer, Little, Princess, Therian and proud :D
Well I for one....
....really enjoyed this story. I followed it from the start on fm and always got a rush when there was a new episode posted. I cant quite understand people posted very negative comments.. if its doesn't rock your boat, don't read it!!!!
Well done Ashley. Fab story well written and such an enjoyable read. Can't wait for your next serial xx
Hmmm...
This has been one of those stories that I have a hard time putting a finger on whether I think it is a good story or not. Given that I don't like (most) forced femme stories, and that is what this story started and ended as, it had a bad mark from the very beginning on it to my tastes. Given that, I continued to read the story, through all fifty-three chapters. Why? Because I HAD to know, just HAD to, what happened to Jessie. I might not necessarily LIKE the story, but Ashley, your ability to make someone feel compelled to continue reading is much to your credit. I can't necessarily say I'll read this story again- it's a bit too uncomfortable for me to get through again- but I can't say I regret having read it once, which automatically places it well above most other forced stories I have read or tried to.
In the end, I don't know whether to feel happy for Jessie or saddened at the end results. Jessie is no longer so much 'mind controlled' as just plain old brainwashed, and while he/she has part of her old self back, and SEEMS happy, is it a 'happiness' from giving up the fight to resist the programming that had been forced upon him/her for so long, or legitimate happiness with who she has become? It's hard to tell in the story, just like it's hard to tell where, after Ashley's interference, the leftover programming begins and Jessie's actual preferences, altered by the female hormones and experiences as Jessica, end. It was almost inevitable that Ashley's brother would be Susan's next victim, given people's reactions to him, though I can't say I see any more justification for it with him than I initially did with Jessie.
In the end, an honest 'well done!' is in order. You told an effective story, whether it was meant to be cautionary as some have suggested, or just a bit of a darker fantasy for others. I hope to see more stories from you. If they are along the same lines as 'The Softening of Jessie', I can't say I will necessarily read them, but with the qualities found in your writing they would make an excellent addition to the Big Closet library.
Melanie E.
There is no denying that
There is no denying that Ashley Ts is a very good writer,as her story and characters generate strong emotions,it's just in me they are loathing and anger at the main protagonists.
So to avoid further arguments,i shall limit myself to yelling at the computer screen.
By the way,I do know that the stories are fictional,I tend to get to involved in the stories.I also have a list of authors that are "Don't touch with a 10 foot barge pole",so far Ashley isn't on it yet
Full Review|critique.
I was originally going to have to send this as a PM, btu then after a little bit of name checking, revised my opinion, and am poisting it.
The most important thing I think, is in a long series like this, keeping names straight. To wit:
When I first finished the story, after having read the whole thing over the past few weeks, I was outraged, becuase Amanda isn't mentioned, and I forgot for a moment who Susan was. I couldn't believe that someone who supossedly learned a lesson was continuing in murder. After clarifying that Susan was the grandmother, things made a great deal more sense.
Now, time for an opinion. However well written, and this was fairly well written, although a bit heavier on narrative than I prefer. However, forced identies to the extreme shown here are a form of identity death, and are therefore murder. I use the sensationalist word on purpose. Amanda may be a psychologically weak person (which lead to her son being so out of control in the first place) but Susan was, and as the ending proves, an unrepentant murderer.
Anything which supports her actions is morally dubious, criminally negligent, and socially reprehensible.
What really could have sealed the rift between Jesse and Amanda is common experience and mutual respect. The fact that Jesse had to become Jessie is unfortunate, but that's the way the story was written.
Technically, I would place this as moderate. It's easily understandable and grammatically correct on the whole; I do not recall any particular section where outstanding errors ruptured immersion into the story. The dialogue however is thin. That may be beucase of how the girls talk, but there doesn't seem to be—immediacy to the dialogue; for a pair of girls to be talking calmly to each other, never interrupting, changing topics mid-sentence, or getting overly excited is outside my experience. Also, in serious conversation, there only seems to be a few lines before a response. No one seems to deliver exposition, although that could be considered a stylistic mark.
The plot is somewhat generic, althrough you did write such strong characters that it was easy to empathize with them, even though one knew exactly what was going to happen. It's a mark of great ability to write characters that we, as readers feel sincerely about, even if that emotion is deep and passionate loathing. And yes, as several people have commented, the epilogue does seem rather abruptly short. The later chapters seem to be getting shorter, was it just a lack of interest and a desire to complete the story so it doesn't hang in limbo?
To summarize, the story was pretty good, although I can't say it was brilliant, and the characterization immediate, but somewhat…lacking. Overall, ‘good job,’ says the pompous ass.
?
?
Nasty Twist at the End
So, that old Granny decided to do it to someone else too? Well, it is good that Jessica and her Mother moved out. But surely the clinic would be aware and would stop it happening again? As would Ashley surely stop her brother from being manipulated like that?
It is characteristic of psychopaths that they think everyone else is stupid and they repeat their criminal acts until they get caught.
Briar
Briar
Evil and Cliffhangers
What a DELICIOUS final twist. Evil did not win, but it did not lose outright. It's still at large out there, and will strike again when you least expect it. ...and it looks like it already HAS. I sincerely hope that there will NOT be a sequel about Jason's conditioning and transition. Some stories are meant to end with a cliffhanger. The (original) Italian Job is a great example.
Again, evil didn't win, but it didn't lose either. It's still out there. ;)
Why destroy such a brilliant cliffhanger with a sequel?
solution
Although this is a silver bullet solution,I have known many uncontrollable brats over the years of driving school buses,and working in mega stores.Personally I have often thought that this could have been a great solution.XXX
You should make a sequel
Jason was a nice guy and honestly i don't think he deserves this but it would be so cool to see a sequel also i think you should write an alternate ending where jessica goes through with the tapes.
Published almost 10 years ago
The literary skills of the author are good, even entertaining, though the author does not know much about real transition. Still, I recognize it as simple wish fulfillment and that is fine.
My own transition, and probably most of our transitions are very rocky and often emotionally painful, with losses that will never be recouped. In retrospect, I think it is best to write cute stories and leave actual transition in the wish box.
Gwen
This is a wonderful story
But still, poor Jessie. But at least she is happy in the end. But it was such a rough ride and it did provide a lot of laughs when he didnt have a clue what was going on or that he was doing anything outside of the ordenary and was so dumbfounded by other peoples reaction to his increasing feminization.
like wanting to go topless at the pool like other boys, and not really understanding that his breasts will be a problem
or wondering if Jason is enveious of his leotard and thats why he was upset and name calling
or going out with Ashley and wondering why all of the guys are looking at him. So he thinks they want to fight him for Ashley.
Theres so many scenes like that, that made me laugh but it was also really sad in how he simply didnt understand
and then Jessies final confrontation with Susan, he should have known to bring help. Especially after the first time
and I really wonder what Susans problem really was in the end. I know that she may not have really had known how strong Jessies mental feminization has become so powerful and irresistible after the tapes and everything were over, but after all of this time she should have guessed and just waited and seen. She got exactly what she wanted in the end. He was so mentally feminine by that point, he was unable to resist being a girl. Susan got exactly what she wanted
Jessie couldnt be a guy, and didnt want to be a guy
so why did she get mad and leave?
Was wondering if you are
Was wondering if you are going to do a new story about Jason and why did Susan go to them and is Susan happy how Jessica turned out, or is Jessica worried that her best friend is now getting brainwashed by his grandmother, and where is Ashley in all this ??
S.Reacts