But Who Am I Really?

Part 2 of 2

by RH Music

Hugh (Erin) and Erin (Hugh) have returned to Hugh's home in America, and they have to take each others places.
Where will it lead?

Chapter 9

The next two weeks passed in much the same way. Erin spent a lot of time at work, and Hugh spent all of his time at home, usually on the phone coaching Erin. They had got through the first week together without any major embarrassments, and no one had seriously questioned Erin's authority to be Hugh.

"But how could they," Erin reasoned. "Physically I'm perfect in every respect." Any curiosity about High's new personality at the office was written off as love-sickness - after the dinner with John, rumors quickly spread around the office and it became an easy explanation.

Things became much easier for Hugh. He generally took up projects that Erin gave him, such as settling the details for the new office space (the office had chosen, by vote, the space closest to Hugh's condo, which was great), researching potential customers, reviewing contracts, even writing some software. Hugh realized that he was having fun: It was a huge relief not to have to be responsible for employees' performance anymore.

For convenience, Hugh and Erin now referred to each other using the names of the body, rather than the name of the person. After a day or so, this turned out to be much easier. After all, Erin looked like Hugh, Hugh reasoned, so it just makes sense that I call her Hugh. And, by most anyone's definition (certainly everyone in the office), she was Hugh.

'But where does that leave me?' He wondered. 'Or her, for that matter? Who am I? I feel like Hugh, I remember growing up as a boy, I remember college in Boston, I remember starting this company. But now, I'm a different person. Am I still Hugh, even though everyone calls me Erin? Or am I Erin, now that, in every physical sense, I am her?'

Or maybe, he thought, a bit perversely, I'm both?

Fortunately, Erin was there to discuss this with. It was during these discussions of identity that Hugh realized just how compatible they were. Everyone else he knew, with the exception of John and a few buddies from college, thought that discussing existentialism was a waste of time. Hugh, however, felt his whole philosophy on life changing dramatically, and he had to talk it over with _someone_.

Since Erin spent 12 hours at the office every day, and since Hugh was mostly at home just answering phone calls, Hugh had decided to be the best host that he could. He restocked the groceries, cleaned the laundry, took clothes to dry-cleaning, and generally kept the place nice and neat.

Somehow, with Erin sharing the condo, Hugh became much more aware of what a slob he had been. Of course, Erin didn't say a word, and was always polite and appreciative. But with another person watching what he did, Hugh became much more careful about keeping the place clean.

For example, he always washed the dishes right after they ate. Before, he would have left the dishes to sit and pile up and then he would do them all at once. Of course, Erin also did dishes, but in the mornings she was always rushing out to work, and in the evenings she would be working on business or talking with John on the phone, so generally it was Hugh who did it.

Breakfast was another routine that they had fallen into. Hugh, when he had been a man, had never eaten breakfast, with the possible exception of bagels on the weekends.

Now, however, he woke up very early (usually 6AM, and sometimes earlier) and always woke up starving! At first he discounted it as being just jetlag, but now he had to admit it was unlikely to change. It must be this new body, he thought to himself. Now, I'm a morning person. Boy, if anyone in the office knew, they wouldn't believe it.

So, Hugh would get up early in the morning, have his shower, and then don a fluffy bathrobe over lacy panties. Then he would pad to the kitchen in slippers and make breakfast. And since Erin was always still sleeping, Hugh would make her breakfast too, so it would be ready for her when she woke up.

So now it was Friday, just under three weeks since they had first met, and Erin had decided it was time for a fancy night out. They were too tired for any real entertainment, but a good meal at Chez la Mer seemed in order. Erin even made the reservations.

This delighted Hugh, since it gave him the opportunity to wear one of the fancier cocktail dresses he had purchased. This one was totally classic, a one-piece shift, high necked, a hem line which ended just below his knees, and with a light cream linen jacket. It was the fabric that was most incredible. A dark green knit fabric, with glittery threads woven in. It caused the entire dress to shimmer as he walked. Underneath, he went very simple: just matching bra and panties. The shoes were high-heeled (4 inches), silk, and dyed to match. A pair of simple pearl dangles as earrings, makeup, perfume, and Hugh was ready.

Erin, when he saw Hugh, gave a low whistle, slipped her arms around Hugh's waist and gave Hugh an intimate hug.

---

"What???" Hugh gasped. "Get up off that floor!" he hissed.

"No," Erin replied, earnestly. "I will not get up off the floor until you take this ring, and then give me an answer, either yes, or you'll think about it."

"Alright then, here, give it to me. I'll think about it." Hugh snatched the engagement ring from Erin. It was a gorgeous 1.5 carat diamond. "Now get back to your seat. I'm so embarrassed." Hugh tried hiding his head. Others in the restaurant were looking on and grinning at Hugh's reaction. Some of them applauded.

"You know, if you had just acted pleasantly surprised then it would all be perfectly normal."

"Normal? Normal?!" Hugh hissed. "This is anything but normal!! I'm the guy here. I'm the one who's supposed to be proposing to you!"

Erin chuckled, and then said with a leer, "you are definitely not the guy."

"Yes I am. Things are just all confused, that's all. And you can't do this yet! We've only known each other for a couple of weeks!"

"Almost three weeks," Erin corrected, "and I am already as sure about this as I have been about anything."

"But how can you be? And which you is proposing to me? The Erin who is Hugh? Or the original Erin?"

"Whichever. It doesn't matter," Erin was serious.

"What do you mean, 'It doesn't matter?'"

"What I mean is that I want to marry you whether I'm Hugh, or Erin. God willing, we'll switch back in a month, and then I will be your wife, assuming that you want me."

Hugh's heart skipped a beat. He looked at Erin and saw the real Erin in Hugh's expression. Somehow over the last couple of weeks Erin had become pretty seamlessly integrated with Hugh's body.

"Do you love me?" Hugh asked.

"Yes, very much. More than I have loved any other person in my entire life. Do you love me?"

Tears spontaneously sprung to Hugh's eyes. He couldn't help himself. It was as if Erin's expression of love had uncorked a bottle. The emotions overwhelmed Hugh's inhibitions and he sobbed shamelessly.

"Oh Erin," Hugh sniffled, "I love you too." Hugh had said it without any thought or analysis. The truth had just bubbled up and he realized consciously, for the first time, that he was very deeply in love with her.

Erin gently rubbed Hugh's hand. "I'm so sorry, I shouldn't have sprung this on you so suddenly. But I need the security of knowing that we are committed to each other."

Hugh settled his breathing and wiped away his tears. "I understand..."

"No, you don't, Erin." Erin put an affectionate emphasis on calling Hugh by his new female name. "I have another surprise for you. Are you ready?"

"Yes," now what?? Hugh's mind was in wild turmoil now.

Quickly, so she wouldn't have time to get nervous, Erin blurted out, "I think you're pregnant."

Dead silence.

Hugh instinctively put his hands on his tummy. "Pregnant? What?!? Are you sure?"

"No, I'm not. But my period was supposed to have been three days ago, and I'm never late. Further, I don't use birth control anymore, it's against my religion."

Hugh was gasping for air, breathing heavily in and out. "So that's why we didn't have wine with dinner."

Hugh's shocked mind was now a total blank. At last he blurted out:

"But, what are we going to do?"

---

The first thing they did, of course, was rush to a pharmacy and get a pregnancy test. And then another. And then a third. And then a fourth.

And when they got home, each and every test, from 4 different companies, all turned out positive.

This time it was Erin's turn to cry. "Oh Hugh!" she sobbed, "We're pregnant! Oh, I never meant for this to happen, but now that it has, I think it is as wonderful as a dream."

"What do you mean? How could you never meant for this to happen?"

"Our first night together, I never meant for us to have intercourse, but somehow I became entranced."

"...but I thought you were causing the trance?"

"I started singing, a song which my mother taught me when I was just a baby, which I thought would help sooth you. But then you started singing along, and I just sort of... well... lost control."

"Me too," Hugh said, apologetically.

"Anyway, the next day I realized what had happened, that I, or you... or whatever, were unprotected. But I counted the days and it was just after the end of my fertile period. So I thought, 'chances are, nothing will come of it', and I figured it would be OK for us to continue to have sex, since at that point I would only be getting less and less fertile."

"I see..."

"And so, I didn't say anything. I figured we had enough to worry about." Erin winced. "I'm sorry. Should I have told you?"

"Oh, Erin, I don't know. I'm such a dummy! If I had just thought, I could have douched or something!"

"Erin," Erin looked at Hugh intently. "I could not have let you do that. I'm catholic, remember? And I'm from Ireland. It's against my religion."

"What, even condoms?"

"Well, that's a gray area. Our priest is more practical than some, and doesn't see condoms as big of a sin as other forms of birth control. He did talk me out of taking the pill, however."

"And premarital sex?"

"I know, I know. That's bad too. I'll probably have to do a million 'Hail Mary's' when I get home, but it will be worth it."

"But then, why not birth control? Or abortion?"

Erin's face blanched and a hand involuntarily covered her mouth. "Don't even think about that! Human life is sacred! Our baby's life is sacred." Her voice hardened, "Hugh, you know perfectly well that that is my body you have borrowed, and I expect for you to care for it as I would. And if I want for my body to carry the child to term, then it will."

She paused for a second. "But I know you don't mean it. I can hear it in your voice. And the way you reacted at dinner... you really love me, don't you?" She was pleading. "And," she was crying again, "I love you so much."

At this, Hugh's heart melted. He reached out to Erin and stroked her face. "Oh Hugh, Erin, whatever. I love you too."

"And do you want to get married?"

Hugh pulled out the ring and looked at it. It was stunning. He found himself unable to breathe. And as his mind whirled with all kinds of thoughts, he knew, above all, that he was about to make a decision that would have a profound affect on his life.

Erin reached over, took the ring from Hugh and gently held Hugh's hand in hers. She slipped the ring over his finger and slowly slid it on until it was firmly placed. It was such a symbol of commitment, of binding oneself to the needs and wishes of another, for all eternity.

Erin asked again. "Will you marry me?"

Hugh felt the cool gold band around his finger and marveled at the diamond which winked at him. He looked Erin directly in the eyes.

All that was left was to step over the threshold.

"Yes. Yes Erin, I would be proud and honored to be your wife." Hugh's eyes opened wide at his mistake. "I mean, your husband! Right, I meant husband." But Hugh was uncertain.

Erin replied, without missing a beat. "And I will be proud and honored to be your husband."

It was only later that Hugh realized Erin had never corrected her mistake.

---

'I'm pregnant,' Hugh thought.

It was about 1:30 AM, and Hugh was sitting up in bed, not feeling sleepy. The room was quiet, save for Erin's light snoring, and the trees outside his window which fluttered gently in the breeze. Hugh put a hand on his abdomen.

'There's a baby growing in here.' Hugh marveled that he was carrying another human being, a child, inside. The concept was astonishing.

'My son, or daughter,' Hugh wondered which would be better. A son to play football with? Or a daughter for pretty dresses? 'With my luck,' he thought, 'it will be a daughter to play football with, or a son who wants pretty dresses.'

'But who am I to judge? If my son wants to wear pretty dresses, then let him.' Hugh made a vow, 'let this child develop in the most natural way possible, free of prejudice and coercion.'

Hugh sighed. Here the child had just barely been conceived, and already he was deciding how he would react if it was a son, and if the son liked pretty clothes. 'This is ridiculous, might as well decide what color suit he'll wear at graduation.'

Hugh continued to rub his tummy. He had a powerful urge to talk to the baby, but he knew that was silly. 'It's like, what, 12 cells now?' But still, he looked down and hugged himself. 'I think I'm getting an inkling of what the mothering instinct feels like.' The need to take care of the baby was overwhelming. Almost frustrating, in fact, since there was nothing to be done.

Hugh looked around the room, lit by the soft glow of the nightlight. Erin's face was idyllic. 'Did I look so untroubled when I was running the company?' wondered Hugh. He doubted it. He remembered angry dreams of arguing with nasty customers and lazy programmers.

'I certainly have been more relaxed as Erin,' Hugh decided, 'but I bet that changes when the baby arrives. Of course, I should be back to being Hugh by then,' he thought, ambivalently.

The moonlight peeked into the window through the trees, casting dancing shadows on the far wall. Hugh watched the patterns for a while. After a second, a glint inside the closet caught his eye.

Curious, Hugh quietly got out of bed and walked into the closet, turning on the light.

The shiny object was a plastic bag on a hanger, which contained his formal evening gown. Hugh had just picked it up from the tailor the previous afternoon.

'Well, I guess I'll never have a chance to wear you,' Hugh thought sadly. He took the dress of the rack and held it up.

It was beautiful, like Sleeping Beauty under glass. Hugh stroked his hand across the plastic bag. He took a sidelong look at Erin, still sleeping, and then slowly unzipped it. He slipped his hands across the rich fabric and carefully pulled out the dress, like the blossoming of a rose, the folds of fabric were released from their clear plastic confinement.

It was strapless and off the shoulder. A hidden bodice would hug his torso closely, following every curve. The outside was a veritable waterfall of fabric, made of a smooth silk blend of pearly color and shimmer, cascading down his body in fold after fold, gathered at one side and ending just above the floor. It was a fluid masterpiece, which was striking, asymmetric, and contemporary. For Hugh, it was perfect.

Hugh ran his hands over the fabric folds, touching and delighting in the sensual and opulent feel of the fabric.

Hugh looked over again at Erin sleeping. She snorted softly, then shifted, then turned over and resumed snoring. Hugh picked up a half-slip, a strapless bra, garters, stockings, a necklace, and a pair of high-heels. He turned off the light, and with a rustle, walked out of the bedroom and into the living room, where he wouldn't disturb his (gasp!) fiancée.

Hugh slipped out of his nightgown and tossed it onto the sofa. He was naked except for panties now, a slim Irish beauty, with unkempt hair. He started with the bra, which hugged his chest more tightly than he was used to, causing his cleavage to plump out a bit. He grinned when he saw the results reflected back at him through the dark window.

Next, the garter belt and stockings. Having straps running down his legs felt strange, but Fenway had insisted that there were times when dressing the part meant going all the way and not skimping on the parts that would be hidden. The garters hugged his hips. The stockings were much finer than he had been used to, their caress felt more like a breeze against his skin than fabric.

Next, the half-slip, which went down to his ankles. The silk against the stockings was cool and light. The lace trim brushed against the tops of his feet.

Hugh paused for a second. He thought he had heard something moving in the bedroom. He held still, holding his breath. The refrigerator clicked on and started humming. This was followed by a tired groan, which he knew to be the automatic icemaker. After a few more minutes, he continued.

Now it was time for the dress itself, which Hugh carefully opened. It unzipped down the side, where the folds were gathered. Hugh spread out the skirt and stepped inside. He pulled up the bodice, adjusted it over his bosoms, and then reached down and slowly, carefully, zipped it up. The zipper ran from his left hip to his underarm.

As he closed the zipper slowly, the fabric tightened around his body. First around his hips and buns, then hugging his waist, then over his rib cage, and finally compressing his breasts where it came together. He did up the hook at the top, which completed the closure.

Hugh sighed. He had been holding his breath, and now he forced himself to breathe normally. He couldn't help but run his hands down the dress, stroking the folds of fabric, feeling his taut body underneath, feeling how the tight bodice embraced, clung, and trapped his body in it's gorgeous satin confinement.

Hugh stepped forward to the stereo that was in the living room. After a second of searching, he selected a CD of Strauss Waltzes as being most appropriate, and put it on at very low volume.

As he listened to the introduction to the first waltz, he stepped into the high heels (4") and reached down for the necklace. It was a necklace that Erin's father had given her, a beautiful light purple topaz in a gold setting with a gold chain. It hung at just the right length and served to add a little color and to draw the eye.

Hugh saw his reflection in the mirror on the wall and sighed with pleasure. He smoothed the dress around his legs, and then danced lightly in circles, enjoying the music, enjoying the dress, and pictured himself dancing the waltz in Vienna at the palace. He was a little unsteady in the heels at first, but gradually he gained in confidence.

"Ahem!"

Hugh looked up, shocked. He almost stumbled. "Erin! How long have you been watching?"

"I woke up when you left the bedroom. Here, I need help with these."

Hugh walked over and then realized that Erin was dressed too, in Hugh's formal black tuxedo. On a whim, Hugh had bought it a few years back for some company function, and had forgotten that he owned one.

Erin held up four gold studs. "How do these work?"

Hugh chuckled and used the studs to button up Erin's tuxedo shirt. "I swear," Hugh exclaimed, after doing up the cufflinks and straightening Erin's hair, "nothing, but nothing, makes a man look more elegant than a black tuxedo. And that stubble," Hugh stroked her face, "just makes you more roguish."

Erin then pulled on the tux jacket, trimmed in black silk. "Shall we dance?" She held out her hand.

"Oh! Wait!" Hugh darted back to the closet, where he retrieved a pair of long silk gloves. He walked back to the living room, and slipped them on. They covered his arm over the elbow, feeling oh so sensual. Hugh stepped into Erin's arms, put one hand in his, the other on his arm.

And they danced. Erin was definitely the better dancer, but Hugh once had lessons with an old girlfriend and they now paid off. After a few clumsy steps, they both got into the rhythm of the dance and slowly twirled around the living room in three-quarter time.

"Oh Hugh," Hugh said, using Erin's masculine name, which somehow seemed appropriate for the moment. "You dance divinely!"

"And you, Erin, the lovely lass so light in my arms, that dress is enchanting." Erin leaned over and kissed Hugh, who giggled.

They continued to dance through two more waltzes, with the kisses becoming more and more frequent, until gradually, they stopped, music swirling around them, lost in fabric, arms, smells, gloves, and lips.

---

Chapter 10

'And the question of the day,' thought Hugh to himself, 'is how many adults does it take to buy a dress?'

Hugh looked around the waiting room of the bridal shop. 'I guess the number is 6. How did I get roped into this?'

They were waiting for their personal wedding gown consultant. The group included Hugh, Erin, Erin's Mom, Hugh's Mom, Liz - the real-estate agent, and Erin's sister Mary. The wedding was now just a week away.

The last month had gone by like a tornado, events, shopping, trips, schedules, visitors, doctor visits, customers, office moving, everything packed into one incredibly hectic month. Erin had put it best: "I swear, this is absolutely the last time I switch places with a man, start a company, get pregnant and get married _all at the same time_!"

But, in some ways, Hugh was grateful for the company. Each person in the waiting room with him had played an important role in managing the maelstrom.

First there was Liz, the real-estate agent. Hugh had met Liz on his first day out alone. After the sale, Liz and Hugh had become fast friends, and Liz, who already had two children (2 and 5), was providing valuable tips on where to find a pediatrician, what hospitals were best, where to go for Lamaze classes, and even where she could find a good deal on diapers.

'Something I'm going to need all too soon,' thought Hugh with a sigh.

Also Liz encouraged Hugh to join her workout routine: Aerobics twice a week and something called the "PowerCourse" (combination anaerobic exercises and weight training) twice a week. She usually went in the afternoon, just before lunch.

Of course, the first time was scary.

"Oh, I don't think I can do this," Hugh stepped out of the ladies dressing room and stopped.

"Oh, you'll be fine! Just let me show you the ropes." Liz held firmly on to Hugh's hand and pulled him forward.

"But you don't understand! I've never... ah... we don't have anything like this in Ireland. I feel so exposed."

"Listen, every girl here wishes they had a body as good as you. And you want to keep it that way, don't you? Now, let's start with some stretches."

Hugh had dressed as Liz recommended: a sport bra, tights, leotard with short sleeves, and a pair of loose gym shorts. But now, as he stepped out into the crowded gym, he felt naked. The clothes were like a second skin, leaving nothing to the imagination - every curve was visible, from the sides of his breasts, to his taught calves. He knew how he looked since he had been a man, after all, and he could see that they were all looking at him and drooling over his new female body. Liz seemed unaffected by the attention, but to Hugh there were 12 pairs of eyes roaming all over his body, and they were all undressing him, looking at his naked body, and imagining what could be done with it.

And did they have to start with stretches!? Hugh followed Liz, but every stretch seemed to show off another body part to the on-lookers. One would push out his round tush for all to admire. A second would cause his breasts to thrust out. A third would extend each leg. And a fourth would spread his crotch, so that all could admire the slight mound at the V of the leotard as it peeked through his gym shorts.

The sports bra was a mixed blessing. On the one hand, Hugh was immensely grateful that the sports bra was tight to prevent any unnecessary jiggle. But on the other hand, the squeezing of his mammaries and the stimulation of his nipples was continually distracting, and worse, he was becoming turned on.

"Are you OK, Erin?" Liz asked, looking at Hugh concerned. "You look flushed."

"No, no. Just a little nervous. This is my first time."

"Well, here. Let's start you off on the stair stepper."

Hugh stepped up to the automatic stair stepper, Liz set up the controls for him, and he started his workout.

Hugh clenched his teeth. Apparently, he hadn't yet become used to how sensitive his new body was, for his workout clothes seemed to stimulate his entire body as they stretched and rubbed across every inch of skin.

The leotard was especially intimate. Had he bought one that was too tight? But the sales lady had assured him it was the correct size. With every step, the crotch of the leotard dug a little bit further into his pussy, and it gradually began to push the tights into his ass crack as well.

Hugh squirmed a bit. He couldn't just reach into his pants to adjust the leotard, but the contact was becoming too intimate to bear.

"Are you all right?" Liz asked. "Is that pace good for you?"

"Oh, it's fine!" Hugh responded. "It's just..." he whispered to her "this leotard seems a bit tight."

"Oh I know. It's impossible to find the right size. They ride up all the time. You just have to get used to it."

'But how can I get used to this?' thought Hugh to himself. Now, with every step, the leotard was slipping back and forth through his crotch, each step increasing his stimulation. Thank god he had tights on, or otherwise the leotard slipping through his unprotected pussy would cause him to orgasm right there on the gym floor. Hugh blushed furiously.

Forty minutes later they finally finished the entire 'PowerCourse' and Hugh sprinted to the rest room and masturbated. He couldn't help it, it was either that or collapse in spasms right on the floor for all to see. But then, after a short pause to catch his breath, he realized that once was not nearly enough, so he brought himself to another climax, his fingers buried in his sopping pussy, rubbing with a frantic urgency as he doubled over, shuddered, and gasped. After taking a few breaths and cleaning up, he got up off the toilet and headed for the showers on wobbly legs.

"Are you alright?" Liz looked concerned as Hugh stepped into the shower spray. "You took so long, I was worried..."

"Oh, sure! It's just, maybe I overdid it a little, I... ah..." Hugh looked up and was confronted with Liz, completely naked, curvy and with fantastically proportioned breasts. Small drops of water mist were clinging to her pubic hair, like dew. Worse, there were other naked women in the shower, cleaning with soap, face towels, rinsing hair, and cleansing all parts of their bodies.

At that moment, Liz looked like a fairy goddess. Hugh lost all track of what he was trying to say.

Hugh forced himself to look up from Liz's pussy and look her in they eye. He attempted a grin, "Gosh, we just don't have places like this in Ireland! I just feel so self conscious!"

Liz reached out and grasped his hand. "Don't worry about anything. There's soap on the wall there. Let's just wash out the sweat and we can head out of here. Where would you like to get lunch?"

Hugh was grateful for the diversion, and he was able to make it through the rest of the shower without any further gaffes. Later during lunch, he was able to discuss it with Liz. "Liz, I just have to apologize for my behavior in the shower, it's just... well there is something I just have to tell you."

"What's that?"

"Well, you have a fantastic body. And I..."

"Yes?" Liz looked at Hugh, puzzled.

"I'm pregnant!" Hugh blurted out, unable to think of anything else to say.

"Oh Erin! That's fantastic! Congratulations!" Liz clapped her hands, delighted, and then paused. "Now I understand! You were looking at me to see what a woman looks like after having two babies. Am I right?"

"That's right!" Hugh smiled, relieved.

"Oh, you are so darling. Listen, of all people, you do not need to worry. Just exercise, before and after the pregnancy, and you'll be fine."

Liz laughed, and they chatted for the remainder of the lunch. An inter-personal wall had been breached, and now Hugh found it easier to discuss intimate issues and feelings with Liz, and vice versa. She thought it was cute how naive Hugh could be at times.

'Mental tip,' Hugh thought to himself, later, 'when in a jam, just say that you're pregnant.'

After a couple of weeks, Hugh found that he was able to go into the gym without feeling quite so self-conscious. Sure, his body was still getting looks from the men, but he no longer felt embarrassed by it all. Rather, he was proud! He was taking care of Erin's body the way he should, and he was glad that it looked good. Also, he purchased a looser leotard which helped him to keep the stimulation under control.

But most important, Hugh found that exercise helped him to become more comfortable with his new body. Previously it felt like he was running the body via remote control, the different proportions, weight balance, and strengths and weaknesses simply caused everything to be different and off-kilter.

But now he was in full control, with mind and body operating as one.

---

"Ahem."

Hugh looked up. It was Erin.

"How's my bride to be?" Erin asked.

"Nervous."

Erin leaned over and gave Hugh a hug.

When Hugh first brought up the shopping trip, Erin surprised him by insisting that she help choose the gown. "I have spent my entire life imagining what it would be like to shop for my wedding gown, like all little girls, and wild horses couldn't keep me away."

"But, it's not traditional! The groom shouldn't see the wedding gown before the wedding, right?"

"Well then, I guess you'll have to cover your eyes as you shop for the gown!" Erin laughed.

Hugh stuck his tongue out at Erin. "I thought I was going to be the wife. Isn't that what you said? So, which is it?"

"I haven't a clue," Erin admitted. "I'm far too confused to answer that question. All I know is this: If I don't get to help pick out my wedding dress, then you're sleeping on the couch for the rest of your life."

"Oh, like that would be any different from what we're doing now..." Hugh grumbled.

Hugh was referring to Erin's new 'arrangement'. After the magical evening when they had danced and kissed (and more) all night long, Erin had announced that she wanted them to abstain from sex until the wedding night, and further that she would be sleeping on the couch until then.

"But why?" Hugh had asked, nearly desperate.

"Because, I want my wedding night to be special... and I think it would help. I don't want for sex to become routine before then, I want it to be new, fresh, and exciting!"

Hugh had to admit that Erin had a point. They would never have another wedding night, and after all, the wedding was only a month away, so surely he would be able to last until then.

And so every night for the last 4 weeks, Hugh had gone to bed alone. Hugh and Erin would kiss goodnight at the bedroom door, and then Erin would lay out a sheet and some blankets on the couch and sleep there while Hugh went to the comfort of his own bed. Hugh had protested that he should have the couch. After all, he was supposed to be the host.

"But you're the one who's pregnant," Erin pointed out. "And I think it will be best if you're the one closest to the bathroom."

At night, Hugh would lie in bed, horny. Being alone in bed, relaxed, Hugh would use his hands to explore his new female body. He would caress himself in intimate places, sometimes masturbating, sometimes just caressing, sometimes probing into different crevices.

One evening, after dinner, Hugh had gone to bed and began to explore his body in the bedside light. He studied the elegant length of his fingers, he memorized the pattern of freckles on his arms and shoulders, the crinkles which covered the surface of each nipple, the goose bumps on his aureole, the slope of the (now ever so slightly swollen) tummy as it curved down to his belly button, and the thicket of pubic hairs at the V in his crotch.

Hugh had never really studied his vagina, so he pulled out a hand mirror to take a close look. The folds of skin were so sensitive that it wasn't long before he began to squirm. He could actually see sticky lubrication starting to form between the lips. Hugh stretched the folds of skin so that the clitoris would pop out, and then he experimented for a while seeing what felt best in and around the clit, and what nested areas he could find to stimulate.

Hugh inserted his finger into his vagina and probed deeply, feeling the walls with his finger, pushing them apart, and then pushing them back together as trapped air escaped with a rude sound. He probed as deep as he could, discovering all of the different pleasure zones.

Hugh jumped up, ran to the closet, dug around, and pulled out an old vibrator, which he had bought once on a lark. He filled it with fresh batteries and slipped back into bed.

The tip the vibrator was cold and strange. Hugh rubbed it over his vaginal lips and it felt unnaturally cold, smooth, and hard, not at all like Erin's penis, but still sexy in a perverted way.

Hugh slipped the vibrator into his vagina. It felt delicious to have his vaginal walls gradually pushed apart as the plastic slid deep inside of him, deeper and deeper until it bumped into his cervix. It was a delicious sensation, massaging that muscle deep inside. Hugh began using the vibrator as a probe, nudging the tip everywhere, seeing if he could find other good spots, seeing what it felt like to twist it this way and that.

His first orgasm came on so gently that he didn't recognize it at first, until it washed over him and caused his whole body to hum - as if a piano string deep inside had been plucked. Hugh lay on his side, curled up, as his body shivered and sung.

But Hugh realized that he wasn't done yet. There were still orgasms left inside, waiting to be stroked out. Hugh turned over, face buried in the pillow, and lifted his hips into the air on his knees. He reached underneath and turned on the vibrator.

"OHHH!" Hugh involuntarily cried out, the sensations were exquisite! His entire pussy was vibrating, the vibrations had spontaneously caused a second climax.

Hugh pushed his face deeper into the pillow. "AHHHH! (ahhhh!)" The sounds were muffled, and he hoped that Erin was asleep on the couch. Hugh reached down with his other hand, and started frantically playing with his clit. By now, he was completely gone. An earthquake could have opened up underneath him and his body would still have demanded two more orgasms.

And they came. Violent, spastic, and totally out of control, Hugh screamed into his pillow, as one hand pressed hard against his clit and the other stroked deep with the vibrator, both in convulsions.

Gradually, his body slowed its wild shaking down to a gentle sway, as little bursts continued to pleasure him. Hugh had just enough mind to turn off the vibrator as he rolled back on his side, wasted and catatonic. He slipped into a blissful sleep, the vibrator still embedded deeply inside of him, trapped between his legs. It would be another hour before he would wake, confused, pull the sticky vibrator from his cunt and then slowly walk to the bathroom to clean up before going to bed properly.

Meanwhile, Erin, hearing the sounds from next door and knowing full well what they meant, had her hand on her penis, holding and stroking a painfully erect member to the sounds of Hugh's orgasm. She almost gave in and ran next door to fuck her fiancée, but stopped when it became obvious that Hugh was too far gone.

But that didn't stop her from her own exploration of her new equipment, as she ran the tip of a finger around the glans, and then lightly tickled the pubic hairs on her balls...

---

"We have a dressing room open now. Would you ladies please follow me?"

The wedding consultant looked up from her clipboard.

"And I'm sorry, but men are not allowed in the dressing room."

Hugh leapt up. "But we called ahead! They told us it would be OK! It's either all of us or we have to go elsewhere!" Somehow, pregnancy made it much easier for Hugh to become hysterical.

"I'm sorry, I don't know who you talked to, but I'm the manager today and the rules are very clear. No men allowed."

Liz stood up. "Hello. I'd like to introduce myself." She held out a hand. "My name is Liz Dugan, and I'm a member of the local business council... along with the owner of this store, I believe. Isn't that Ms. Esther Ralston?"

Erin walked over. "Please, it would mean so much to me if you could bend the rules, just this once."

The wedding consultant looked flustered under the multi-pronged attack. She shook Liz's hand, without conviction, and looked amongst the eager faces. "Well, I guess if Ms. Ralston said it was OK..." She frowned, and thought for a second. Hugh could just watch her prudish convictions slip just a bit.

The consultant looked up and smiled. "Well, sir, I guess that you'll have to just be an honorary lady for today. Now, no one say a word about this and just follow me!" She slid open a curtain and started down a hallway.

Erin whispered into Hugh's ear, "And here I thought that you were the honorary lady!"

---

It was perfect. Everyone agreed.

It was a traditional wedding dress, with a flared silk brocade skirt and lace bodice. As Hugh was helped into the dress, somehow he knew that this was the one. He had tried on eight other dresses, but none was quite right, too flirty, too dowdy, too corny, too something. Hugh's eyes misted over as he watched in the mirror as the consultant zipped up the back and adjusted the lace and silk around his body. 'This is silly' Hugh thought, 'why am I teary?'

The skirt was made of satin woven into a gorgeous flower brocade pattern. The fabric was so sumptuous, Hugh, who had never given fabrics a second thought as a man, couldn't resist stroking the intricate woven pattern of the thick silk brocade.

The bodice was snug and formfitting. It was made of three layers: a thin inner lining, a layer of satin, and an outer layer of lace. The neckline dipped to show just the top of Hugh's cleavage. Short sleeves puffed out over his shoulders. "It could be worn off the shoulder," said the consultant.

"Let's try it!" Mary, Erin's sister, reached out and gently slid the sleeves down. Mary was a seamstress in Ireland, and had been helping Hugh all afternoon, checking on the quality of the workmanship, looking for extra linings or layers where necessary, and helping Hugh into each dress.

Hugh had never had a sister before but he quickly found that he was enjoying Mary's company and attentions. "I'm so jealous that you're getting married!" Mary said when they first met in Ireland. Mary reached out and pulled Hugh into a warm and close embrace with a kiss on each cheek. "I never thought it would happen. I was sure that I would be the first one to get married."

"Why was that?"

"Oh come on! You were always too independent, too wild, too much of a tomboy. I never thought you could settle down. How did Hugh do it?"

"I don't know. We just really hit it off. I guess he's drawn out a side of me which I didn't know existed."

"I'll say." Mary reached out and held Hugh's hand. "You are so different. I've never seen you so infatuated with another man before! And everything about you, it's so..."

"What?"

"Well, so much more feminine than before! I mean, you're wearing nice dresses all the time, you defer to Hugh in conversation, you're so eager to help, you're not so openly opinionated, and you make the bed, for God's sake. You never used to be so neat before."

Hugh looked at Mary, surprised. "Really? Am I that different?"

"Oh yes. Boy, Hugh must be one special man to be able to turn you around like that."

"Well, I guess he is," Hugh looked down at his flowered dress, and absent-mindedly smoothed out the skirts.

Back in the dressing room and dressed in his new wedding gown to be, Hugh was still uncertain about the train. A long, five-foot train, layered in silk and lace, could be attached to his bustle. Hugh tried it on and walked out to show it to the ladies (and Erin). The train dragged over the floor which Hugh could feel as a gentle tug on his hips. It encouraged him to walk slower and more graceful.

Erin made a low whistle as Hugh stepped into view. "That's stunning."

"Are you sure? The train isn't too much, you don't think?"

"Hey, if you can't go overboard on your wedding, when can you?"

"I guess you're right." Hugh experimented walking back and forth. Mary and Erin's Mom trailed behind, adjusting the train so it lay smooth.

Erin knelt down next to Hugh and examined the dress closely. "This is the most incredible dress I've ever seen. Look at this lace work! It is so beautiful, it must be hand done. And look, are these pearls?" Hugh looked closer, indeed, every two inches or so a pearl was sewn into the lace.

"They can't be real, of course." Hugh stated. He looked at the bridal consultant.

"Oh yes, they are!" The consultant returned. "Isn't it exquisite?"

"Oh!" Hugh covered his mouth, shocked. "But then, how much is this dress?"

"Let's see here..." the consultant looked at the tag on the dress, then cross-referenced it with her price book. "Twelve thousand dollars."

Hugh reached out to Erin for support, and, breathing heavily, looked questioningly at Erin. Erin stepped up and quickly put her arms around Hugh.

"Hey," Erin reassured, "you can easily afford it." Erin looked up at the others. "Ah... I mean, *you* are more than worth it and *I* can easily afford it. Honey, this is the one. Let's not even bother looking through another eight dresses. You know that they will all come in a distant second to this one. Please..."

Hugh looked up, into Erin's face, and realized that Erin was asking his permission just as much as he was asking Erin's permission. As Hugh looked into Erin's face, he felt tears slowly start to drip down his cheeks.

Hugh turned towards the consultant, and between gasps and sniffles, he managed to say, "Yes please. We'll get this one."

---

Chapter 11

"Ahr ye ready?"

Hugh looked up at Erin's father who was beckoning to her. He looked at the door that would open to reveal the church pews, filled with relatives and friends.

"No..." Hugh voice was hesitant.

Mr. O'Neil chuckled. "Well, I guess nobody really is. But tell me, do ya love 'im?"

Hugh thought of Erin, waiting by the altar, dressed magnificently in a black tuxedo and bow tie. "Yes!" Hugh stated firmly.

"Well then, you're as ready as you'll ever be." He smiled and held out his hand.

This time Hugh slipped his small and elegant hand (Hugh was wearing silk gloves for the occasion) into Mr. O'Neil's larger rough farmer's hands. Mr. O'Neil grasped the hand gently and reassuringly. Stepping forward, he opened the double doors and led Hugh into the assembly.

Hugh gasped as everyone stood up and the organ started in on "Jesu Joy of Man's Desiring".

'My god, this is really happening.' Hugh thought to himself. He remembered to smile as he stepped into the hall and felt the vaulted ceilings open up above him.

'But, who am I? What am I doing?' Hugh looked down the aisle and saw Erin waiting for him, smiling broadly. 'My god, he's so gorgeous. But what about me? Am I the bride or the groom? Do I want to have children and take care of them while Erin starts her new business? Or do I want to go back to my career?'

Hugh felt the heavy fabric of the silk skirt flow around his legs.

Hugh tried to remember what it was like when he was running the company. All that came back to him were images of performance reviews, schedule slippage, resource constraints, angry and demanding customers. 'But I liked it once, didn't I? Why did I do it?'

Hugh felt Mr. O'Neil squeeze his hand. Hugh looked at him and smiled, and was rewarded when Mr. O'Neil smiled back.

'Maybe I just had to prove to myself that I could do it. But, now what do I do? What do I want to do? Should I be getting married? Should I go back to school?'

Hugh's mind wandered over the events of the few months. He had been very busy, helping Erin, doing the laundry, keeping the house neat, planning the wedding, doing the shopping, filling out his wardrobe, studying up on prenatal care, lining up a pediatrician, getting checkups, exercising. It had been a busy, frantic, wild, crazy, totally wonderful time.

'And fun,' Hugh smiled broadly. He had had a blast shopping with Fenway. He loved exercising with Liz and her sarcastic comments about the pudgy balding men in the health club. He loved staying up to 2 AM gabbing with his new sister, Mary, about life and loves and their respective futures. He had loved shopping for the wedding dress, he loved that each day was like playing dress up.

'But most of all, I love being with Erin.' And not just the female Erin, Hugh realized, but the male Erin. The Hugh Erin. Hugh loved the way Erin smiled, how she complimented and praised him profusely for any little chore that he finished, how he felt safe that Erin was handling the business so competently, how he felt in Erin's arms. Erin's masculine arms as they wrapped tightly around his female body, hugging him tightly to her male body, as her fingers played down his back.

Hugh didn't want a thing to change. He wanted to freeze this moment in time forever. He would have been happy to re-live the few months, when he changed into a female and fell in love, over and over and over again.

'But do I want to be a woman forever? Will I tire of this body? But most of all, do I want to be his wife?' Hugh wondered. 'Do I want to raise our children, take care of the household, love and obey my husband forever?'

Hugh looked into Erin's eyes, and felt tears of joy streaming down. For the first time he saw Erin as 'him,' a man in full possession of his body. Caring, confident. And also for the first time, Hugh realized that he was really a 'she'. A woman. Hugh now felt as if he was Erin, truly and completely.

Hugh looked up at the priest. "I do," _she_ said. "Yes, I do!"

---

Chapter 12

"Shush, sweetie, here... don't cry."

Erin reached into the crib and curled her arms around Janet, her first born. Erin lifted Janet out of the crib, hugged her close and started to gently sway and rock. Janet settled down a bit, but then reached out for Erin's breast.

"I know, you're hungry. Well, it's time, so let's get started." Erin went and sat down on the straight-backed chair that Hugh had bought to support her back while breast-feeding. She unbuttoned the blouse to expose two ample breasts, now swollen with milk to about twice their normal size, securely held by a nursing bra. Pulling the front flap away from its Velcro fasteners, she exposed an enlarged nipple that was already leaking. She moved her breast to Janet, who immediately took it in her mouth and started suckling.

Erin felt the pressure on her breast subside as the milk flowed out of her. The first time this had happened, Janet had been unprepared for the strong feelings of affection and love which came from breast feeding her offspring. She had also been unprepared for the sexual stimulation.

When Erin had been a man, before she had traded places with the 'real' Erin while on vacation in Ireland, he had never given much thought to his nipples. They were just sensitive protuberances, not much different than any other sensitive part of his body, such as his temples. Or behind the knees. They were certainly not a source of sexual pleasure or deep satisfaction.

But now, as Erin, she found that her whole life revolved around her breasts. She had to suckle Janet several times a day. Then there was the breast pump to draw out milk to be stored for later. Finally, Hugh also enjoyed her breasts, especially when it had been an especially hard day at work and he wanted to be babied a little bit. With all this stimulation, Erin found herself constantly horny, so much so that she would sometimes forcibly attack Hugh when he came home.

Oh, and speaking of attacks by force, their wedding night had been amazing. The combined sexual tension that had built up from over a month of abstinence had driven both Erin and Hugh nearly insane with desire. When they finally arrived at the resort bungalow on the beach in Cancun, they mutually attacked each other as soon as the door closed. They fucked with abandon, on the floor, in a puddle of discarded clothing.

Erin smiled at the memory - she had never experienced such a fixation on lust and sexual desire as either a man or a woman. Sometimes it still happened, when Hugh would return from a long trip, for example, or after the doctor's imposed period of abstinence following the birth. These times were not as strong as the sexual mania that characterized her wedding night, but they were still yummy and deeply satisfying.

Erin came to love her new role in life. She now had so much more family than before. As Hugh, his father had died many years before, and he had not been very close to his brother. But now, as Erin, she had a very close sister, they talked on the phone all the time, a caring mother and father, and a whole host of cousins, aunts, and uncles, from Ireland. Family reunions were attended by no less than 75 relatives from all over the world.

And, Erin enjoyed taking care of Hugh. She liked doing his laundry, keeping their house clean, shopping, managing the budget, gardening, entertaining friends, and cooking. It was now a year since the mystical Gaelic song had caused them to trade places, and Erin had made breakfast for Hugh nearly every morning, rising before he did and making sure it was ready when he emerged from the shower. Most days she would fix him lunch and dinner, too.

But above all, Erin felt an intense and palpable love for Janet, her newborn. Janet was a beautiful and happy baby. Through Janet, Erin discovered all kinds of new delights about the world. Playing with toys, brightly colored lights, soft textures, even applesauce were all new experiences that Erin was able to enjoy for the first time again through Janet. Janet added new life to Erin, and she couldn't imagine anything better.

"Hey there!" Erin looked up to see Hugh walk in the door.

"Hi," Erin shifted Janet to her other nipple. "She's almost done, she'll be sleeping soon."

"Good, you'll never guess what I found! Remember that night, when we switched bodies?"

"Hmmm, let me think. You mean that night when I used to be a man, and after which I became a woman? No," her voice heavy with teasing sarcasm, "it had completely slipped my mind. Yes! You dolt. Of course I remember."

"Well... That hotel we stayed in has a web site."

"That's nice..."

"And it has a brief history of the hotel. It used to be a castle. After all, it was on the river to Limerick."

Erin started to get a queer feeling about where this was heading.

"And?"

"And before that it was a monastery, which had been destroyed by Cromwell. Some of the stones from the monastery were actually used to construct the castle. And before that, it was rumored to be the site of druid worship. Probably a stone circle marking the winter and summer solstice, the seasons, and so forth."

"That's fascinating... I guess I was right when I thought it looked old and rundown. That would be, what, about 8,000 years old?"

"Something like that. Don't you see?"

"What?"

"Just like the Blarney stone, stones in Ireland can be given magical powers! It's not just the song which we sung, but it must have been the stones in the building itself which caused us to switch places!"

"Oh my god! You don't mean..." Erin's mind was a whirl. She had completely given up switching back. Now she was in vertigo as the possibilities rushed past her.

"That's right. I think we can switch back. We just need to go and stay in the same room of the same hotel, and try one more time. I've already bought tickets, we're going tomorrow!"

---

Chapter 13

"Stop... don't." Erin put her fingers to Hugh's lips, stopping him in mid-song. She sat up, pushed away the covers from the bed, and turned on the light.

"What's the matter?" Hugh sat up, looking at Erin.

Erin was in tears. "Please. Stop."

Everything had happened far too quickly.

Erin had arranged for his (new) mother-in-law, Mrs. Johnson, to take care of Janet. "It'll be a pleasure!" she had replied. With all of the laundry, instructions for the baby, packing, canceling of business appointments, they barely had had time to talk, and by the time they landed at Shannon airport after flying the red-eye, they were simply too exhausted to do much more than sleep all day in the hotel room. And now, here they were, with midnight and a full moon.

Hugh pulled Erin into a hug, "What's the matter? Are you OK?"

Something was terribly wrong. "I can't... I don't..." Erin's heaving sobs caused her to stutter and gasp. She looked to Hugh. "I don't want to change back. Please don't make me! I don't want to go back to being Hugh!"

"Are you sure?"

"Yes I'm sure!" Erin looked up at Hugh, hopefully. "I love being Erin. I love taking care of you. I love Janet, and I want to be her Mother. Dammit, I suffered through childbirth to have her, I deserve to enjoy being her mother!"

Hugh smiled. "Don't worry. I'm not going to make you do anything."

"No? But, don't you want to be Erin again?"

"What? You think I don't like having someone love me and take care of me? You think I want to change diapers 8 times a day? You think I hate being the esteemed president of a successful software company?"

"Oh Hugh! Thank you, thank you, thank you!" Erin leaped forward and hugged Hugh with delight and kissed him on the cheek. "But hey!" She stopped for a second. "But then, why the rush to come to Ireland and try and switch? Why were you in such a hurry?"

"Well," Hugh paused, "it was true that this is the full moon, and so, if you wanted to change, I thought we should catch this one rather than wait another 28 days. Also, I thought that you wanted to switch, and so I just wanted to get it over with, but really..."

"Yes?"

"I just wanted to know, once and for all... who you really are. Are you Erin, or Hugh?"

Erin pouted at him, in mock anger. "So, this was some kind of test?"

"I guess so."

"Well, let me just tell you, sir. I know who I am. I am your wife, Erin, contented and happy. And I will love, honor, and obey my husband until death do us part."

"And I am your husband, Hugh. Who will love, honor, and obey you, until death do us part."

They kissed again, this time slowly and comfortably.

"Now," Hugh got up, "Let's get out of here. I don't want us to accidentally switch back."

"Amen! Once was perfect."

[The end]