Nightmare Girl

by Terry Volkirch

A young teenage boy is troubled by a strange recurring nightmare and he's willing to do almost anything to try to end it.

Note: I want to thank Angela Rasch for her help with this story. She's been very kind and patient with me.

IMPORTANT NOTE FOR THOSE WHO ARE SENSITIVE TO HORROR: This story has some elements of horror but it has a happy ending. I hope you give it a chance. Thanks.

Nightmare Girl
by Terry Volkirch

Part 2 of 3

We moved to digest both our food and the added information in the lounge, where my mother chose to reveal the great plan that would hopefully end my nightmare.

The high ceiling loomed overhead, dangling a line of several tiny chandeliers that twinkled with electric lights. Like the chairs and tables on the dance floor, everything was covered with linen to keep the dust off. Everyone selected a chair in the same area and pulled off the dust cover to reveal their selected seat. Though Halloween was right around the corner, it reminded me of unwrapping Christmas gifts.

I slumped down in a large, overstuffed chair, and for once, Mom didn't try to correct my poor posture. Instead, she described Shakespearean plays. I thought that to be a rather odd subject but I patiently listened.

She explained that women weren't allowed to act in plays way back when so the men had to take on the parts of the women. The actors wore dresses and carried on as if they were truly women. They were actors playing a role. It was their craft.

I thought it was stupid to not allow women to act but I found their workaround to be fascinating. I don't know if it was caused by my dream or something deep inside me that was always there, but I felt I was meant to be a girl. I hoped I didn't look too eager as my mother continued. My growing secret desire embarrassed me.

She moved on to the subject of roleplaying games, including computer games. I played more than a few computer roleplaying games, so again, she had my attention. Losing oneself in a game, pretending to be a character in an epic battle against evil held a strong appeal for me.

I never considered playing a female character before but my mother finally told me the plan by bringing up that very idea. She thought that by reenacting my nightmare, Sophie would somehow be able to be put to rest. My mom was sure that Sophie's ghost had unfinished business and was looking to me for help.

"That's crazy," I said, raising my voice. "Do you realize what you're asking?" I wasn't too happy about the idea, not so much because I'd be playing the part of a girl but rather because I didn't like the final scene.

My father quickly rushed over. My family wanted to make sure I didn't run away, something that did occur to me. I wanted to rush out and leave the Seaside Inn far behind.

After calming down a little, I composed myself enough to speak again.

"Sophie dies at the end of my dream," I reminded them with a glare.

"We're not going to let you die!" they all chorused.

"We'll keep you from being thrown off the cliff," my mother added, casting an angry look in my father's direction. "If I had my way, I wouldn't let you near that damn cliff. But your father assured me he won't let you fall."

"But why?!" I shouted. "Why go through it for real if I don't fall off the cliff to complete it?!"

"Please, Marty. Calm down." My father spoke quietly, surprising me. "We think the cycle can be broken by keeping you from being thrown off the cliff at the end of the reenactment. I know it might be dangerous, but I think we have to try. We're really concerned about your nightmare. You've been waking up screaming several times a week and we're really afraid of the long-term consequences."

I couldn't believe my ears. "So I either die slowly from my nightmare or I get thrown off a cliff and die quickly. Is that it?"

"At least we can control the reenactment. There's no way we can control your dreams."

His quiet voice soothed me. Somehow -- by contrast I suppose -- he overcame my shouting. He made me listen, and I trusted him to keep me safe. I trusted the plan to work. Besides, Sophie was counting on me.

***

Night came slowly as I watched the sun slowly move across the western half of the sky. I sat in a wooden Adirondack chair on the back deck and shivered a little, more from dreading the coming reenactment of my nightmare than the cool ocean breeze. The caretaker didn't help either. He wandered everywhere and I swear that I felt his creepy eyes on me whenever I wasn't looking.

I had several hours to myself after I had a little fight with my family. My male programming wouldn't let me accept wearing girls clothes without a protest. I insisted that I try wearing my regular clothes for the first night. My parents thought it was a waste of time, and my sister looked strangely disappointed, but I wouldn't be budged, so they left me alone to wait for nightfall. It wasn't until sunset that Lisa showed up to get me.

"Hiya, Sis," she chirped as she flopped down in the chair next to me.

"Hiya," I answered back before realizing what she called me. "Hey!"

"Hey, what? You'll be playing a girl soon. I'm just trying to help you get into character."

"Right. Since when did you become my director?"

"Oh, c'mon. Just relax. It's cool. Beside, I know you like it. Sisters can tell these things." She gave me a wink and turned to watch the sunset with me.

I gave her an unladylike grunt but I didn't deny it. I had to admit that I liked the idea of being a girl with an older sister to show me the ropes. Even hand-me-downs excited me, something that wasn't difficult considering that I had no girls clothes.

"Wait a minute," I said. "Just what did you guys want me to wear tonight? Your clothes are too big for me."

Lisa giggled and turned towards me with a gleam in her eye.

"That's easy, newbie. You described what you wear in your dream and Mom and I whipped up the outfit. Duh."

"Oh."

"Yeah. Wanna see it? It's old-fashioned but I think you'd look cute in it."

"You're really enjoying this, aren't you," I stated. It wasn't a question. It was obvious she was enjoying our conversation.

"Well, duh, little sis. I always wanted a sister, and always knew I had one. You just needed a good nudge."

"Is that what you call this?! A good nudge?!"

Lisa rolled her eyes. "Calm down. You know what I mean."

"Yeah, I do. So why didn't you ever talk to me about it before?"

"I dunno. Why didn't you ever say anything about it? It works both ways."

"Yeah," I said softly. "It's not easy to talk about."

"Anyway, are you ready to start the show soon? We don't have all night, ya know." She giggled at her lame attempt at humor and I scowled back.

"Whatever," I said, quickly getting up and leaving her to follow me inside.

***

We had a fast, light dinner, foraging on apples, celery sticks, bread and cold cuts. My mother had refused to cook. That's how I knew how upset she was. It didn't matter though. I couldn't eat much, and I was sure I couldn't handle a heavy meal with the dancing butterflies in my stomach.

With dinner out of the way, I went to stand near the dance floor under my family's close supervision. I noticed the caretaker across the room, scowling at me, but I felt safe with my father.

I closed my eyes after feeling the same calming presence that I'd felt the last time I stood in that spot. The music began and I lost myself in my daydream. Everything began to play out exactly as it did in my nightmare. I listened to the music and watched the couples dancing. It was amazing, and amazingly lifelike.

It didn't take long to get to the spastic happy dance scene and as usual, I didn't get nearly enough time to enjoy my favorite part of the dream. I suddenly grew cold when loud footsteps approached, adding fear to my excitement and causing my heart to race. It amazed me that I could hear anything over the thumping in my chest, but I did, and I surprised myself by opening my eyes. The plan was for me to keep my eyes shut, thinking that the reenactment wouldn't work unless I did so.

I gasped when I saw a distinct glowing outline of the scary man from my nightmare. He towered over me and reached out to grab my wrist before I could even think to run. But something went wrong. He pulled the glowing shape of a girl from inside me and dragged her away towards the back door. I could just barely see them phase through the solid wood door before I collapsed.

***

I don't remember being put to bed that night, but at least I didn't have my nightmare. I slept very well and woke up refreshed. I was also very hungry, always a good sign. I slid into some clothes and followed my nose to the kitchen.

"What's to eat?" I said as I rushed into my mother's favorite room, giving her a fright.

She slapped a hand to her neck and gasped. "Goodness, Marty! How about a little warning next time."

"You look like you've seen a ghost," I joked.

"Ha ha. Just go sit down and I'll bring you a plate of French toast. It's almost ready."

I made happy sounds all the way back to the dining room and anxiously awaited my favorite breakfast. I noticed that I already had a glass of milk waiting for me, along with the butter and corn syrup. I got a lot of good-natured teasing about my strange tastes but I didn't care. I wasn't all that fond of maple syrup and I had to put something sweet on my French toast.

Of course I was just trying to put on a happy front. I knew Sophie wasn't finished with me. The first reenactment didn't get very far so I'd be dressing up in costume and getting more into my role as a girl to try again that night. But at least I felt excited about dressing as a girl.

The rest of my family wasn't nearly as enthusiastic.

As I sat there, humming to myself and imagining myself wearing a skirt and dancing, my family joined me and looked decidedly glum.

"Hey," I said. "You guys are dragging me down. How about a little smile?"

I cringed at their lame attempts to smile.

"Yikes! You know what? Never mind."

They went back to eating and I went back to my daydreams. They'd be okay after we got back home, assuming I survived.

***

Besides wearing a costume, a couple other details needed refining for the big event that night. The lights would be dimmed to make it easier to see the scary man's ghost, and the back door would be opened. I didn't want the ghost trying to pull me through the closed door.

With planning out the way, my father went back to his scribbling and the rest of us had to find something to pass the time. Lisa voted for shopping.

"We need to get you some new clothes, Sis," my enthusiastic sister said, hopping up and down. I'd never seen her so excited.

"Um ... let's not get carried away," I warned. "What about the costume you made? We don't even know if it'll fit me."

"Right," my mom added. "You should try it on ... but let's not call it a costume. I think 'outfit' would be a better word."

I rolled my eyes but they weren't fooled.

"Nice try, Sis. But don't forget, I know you can't wait."

She was right. I looked down at the floor and blushed.

***

The three of us went upstairs and I took the outfit to my bedroom to dress in private. I'd gotten down to just my own underwear when I heard a knock.

"Hey, Sis!" Lisa called through the door. "I forgot to give you something."

"Don't come in!" I screamed.

"Don't sweat it," she said. "I'll just open the door a crack and toss it in."

"Toss what ...?" I tried to ask but she was too quick.

The door opened nearly halfway and a small package came sailing into the room. The door slammed shut just as quickly and I could hear Lisa giggling as she ran down the hall.

I picked up the package, a clear plastic bag, and my hand trembled. It contained three white panties.

A strange conflict of emotion swept over me. I felt embarrassed even though no one was there to see me, but I also felt joy at having my first "true" feminine garment. The outfit I'd be wearing that night was really just a costume, something I wouldn't be caught dead in -- hopefully. The panties were like the Holy Grail. I heard angels singing hallelujah, and I wasn't even religious!

Except for the fly, there didn't seem to be much difference between
my underwear and the panties -- until I slipped my legs into the leg holes of the panties and slid them up into place. They hugged my rear beautifully and felt so smooth and soft. I think I must have stood there making cooing noises for a full ten minutes until I got a little cold and started putting on the outfit.

The pleated skirt felt comfortable and familiar. It should. I'd worn it often in enough in my dream. The blouse was nice but the double column of pearl buttons down the front grabbed my attention more than anything else. I loved the look of pearls.

I twirled a couple times but the fabric of the skirt was too heavy and stiff to flare out much. Then I remembered my dream and I swayed gently side-to-side. The skirt swung just like it did in my dream, reminding me of the long pendulum in our grandfather clock back home.

Everything felt comfortable and seemed to fit very well. I smiled and started to leave to show Mom and Lisa when I suddenly realized that another very important item was missing from my outfit. I had no shoes!

Sadly enough, I couldn't remember what footwear I had in my dream. I thought the shoes were black but that's all I could dredge up.

"Oh, well," I said to myself. "I'm sure Mom will think of something."

***

With my head still spinning, I found myself in the back seat of our car on the way to do some shoe shopping at the nearest mall, my fingers holding the seat belt strap in a death grip. My mother drove with Lisa bouncing excitedly in the front passenger seat.

I tried to suppress a giggle at my crazy sister but I failed and she snapped her head around to look at me.

"What?" she asked.

"Nothing. I'm just a little nervous I guess."

"Relax, Sis. We'll take good care of you. Won't we, Mom?"

"You two," was all my mother said, slowly shaking her head and chuckling.

***

We had to drive a fair distance to get to a mall with a decent shoe store, but we had all day, and we had my sister to fill in the silence with talk of clothes and boys and anything else that popped into her head. It took nearly the full distance before she paused so someone could get a word in edgewise.

"I can't believe we forgot shoes," my mother said.

"It's okay," I told her. "I suppose I have to try them on to get a good fit anyway. Right?"

"Mom!" Lisa shouted. "She gets it! She totally gets it!"

"Lisa," Mother warned. "Not so loud, please. Marty was just stating a simple fact. We have yet to see if he actually likes the experience. He's never shown much interest in boys shoes."

"What are you two talking about?" I asked.

"You'll see, little sis. You'll see."

And see I did.

I insisted on a cover story before I stepped foot in the shoe store. I wanted it to be clear to the salesperson that I was only there to get girls shoes for a part in a school play. My lame plan was soon forgotten though. After I tried on my third pair of shoes, I swooned, my head lost in the clouds. I did get it. I totally got it. I had the shopping bug, and I totally gave in to my feminine nature.

***

After I let myself go, I couldn't fool my mother. She recognized that I'd never happily go back to being a boy and her heart melted. Just as my sister had done, Mom had embraced the real me, and we had a grand time at the mall.

For the drive back to the inn, Lisa and I swapped moods. With four pairs of shoes, several pairs of socks, two pairs of girls jeans and three tops, I bounced with excitement in the back seat while a subdued Lisa sighed heavily. It saddened her that she didn't get anything.

I got a nice pair of black Mary Janes that I wore out of the store. I wanted to break them in as soon as possible but they already felt quite comfortable. That was one of many pleasant surprises I got that day. The shopping trip really saved me from an afternoon of gloom and doom.

I'd be wearing the Mary Janes with my outfit that night so I'd be able to plow through the sand behind the inn with no problem. Or maybe I'd just glide over the sand considering how fast the ghost dragged me. As happy as I was at that moment, it didn't matter what happened as long as I was dressed properly.

I wished I could've worn more of my new clothes but my mother decided that baby steps were in order. Oh well. I was so excited, I could live with it.

***

By the time we pulled into the parking lot at the inn, Lisa had recovered some of her earlier enthusiasm. She could still be happy for me, even if she felt a little envious. I think I cheered her up when I told her that I wished we were the same size so I could share some of my clothes with her.

After a brief warning not to tell Father about all the "extras" we picked up, Lisa and I rushed up to my bedroom to begin an impromptu fashion show.

"What are you doing?" I asked my sister when she followed me into my bedroom.

"Um ... oh. I guess I'll wait outside. Don't be long!"

She slowly backed out of the room and shut the door behind her.

Within seconds of the door closing, I had all of the annoying tags off of my first pair of jeans. I was a girl possessed. Lisa wouldn't have long to wait to see my first outfit. At least that's what I thought.

I removed the new Mary Janes that I wore, and my boy jeans. Then I slipped my new blue jeans on and started pulling everything else out of their bags.

When I had all of my new shoes out on the floor and everything else laid out on the bed, I froze. I didn't have all that much but I was still paralyzed with indecision. The Mary Janes didn't seem to go all that well with my jeans, and I couldn't decide which top to wear.

"Help!" I cried.

Lisa entered and mercifully, she didn't laugh like I expected. Instead, she clucked and shook her head. "You poor newbie."

She proceeded to show me a couple nice outfit combinations by aligning them together on the floor and bed. She used my boy jeans in place of the pair I had on but the effect was close enough. I was in awe.

She stuck to the basics and got me thinking about matching colors and thinking about what colors looked nice together. Black went with everything but she confirmed that my new tennis shoes matched up with my jeans better than the Mary Janes. Color and style both mattered.

When my eyes started glazing over, the lesson ended, and I put on the top and shoes that Lisa had put together with my old blue jeans. I rushed to the bathroom and stood glued in front of the full length mirror behind the door.

I didn't notice Lisa until she moved behind me to get my attention with her reflection. Her smile was almost as broad as mine.

"Come on, Sis. Didn't you hear Mom? It's lunchtime."

I tore myself away from the mirror and started to move towards the stairs but Lisa quickly stopped me.

"Forgetting something?" she asked. "Dad would have a fit if he saw you now."

"Why? What's wrong?"

"Duh! You're wearing your new pink top. Hello!"

"Oh. Right."

Very reluctantly, I went back to my bedroom to change.

Lisa knew so much more than me. She was only a couple years older but she'd been a girl her whole life. I couldn't wait to learn more about being a girl. I just had to get past the next two days.

***

I wish I could say I wasn't nervous that night. I should've been ecstatic. I got to wear girls clothes -- in front of Dad no less! -- but thoughts of the scary man's ghost had to intrude. I was going to be dragged to the edge of a cliff and shaken like a rag doll. It wasn't something to look forward to.

I moved to stand in the usual spot on the edge of the dance floor and prepared myself, with one slight exception. Mom surprised me by plopping a wig on my head. She straightened it a little and then stepped back.

I felt the familiar, calming presence, allowing me to quickly regain my composure. I sighed and closed my eyes. It was easy to get into the mood after that, especially with the long hair from the wig tickling my shoulders, just like in my dream.

The music started and the ghostly couples danced in my mind, though the couples weren't exactly ghosts. They were more like flat projections on a movie screen, no more real than the candles and oil lanterns I saw. I briefly wondered about those images until I felt the urge to sway to the music. The reenactment had my full attention then.

As before, it wasn't long before I started my spastic little dance and lost myself in it. I felt like I could dance all night, but then the footsteps thudded across the floor.

I stopped dancing and felt the same mix of fear and excitement I
felt every time I dreamed that same scene.

Who was this ghostly man? He seemed so familiar. The girl in my dream had so many memories of him. Was he a neighbor? A relative? I thought he might be an uncle, or maybe even her father. But what father could kill his own daughter?

I had so many questions and so little time. I opened my eyes and the reenactment continued.

The man grabbed my wrist and just as we all hoped, he yanked and pulled me behind. We headed for the open door on the way to the dreaded cliff.

I yelped as I had in my dream, but it wasn't forced. He jerked me hard to the right immediately after I passed the doorway and forced the sound out of me. The rest of the time, I just tried to catch my breath as I skidded down the stairs and hit the sand.

We moved so quickly! Too quickly. The ghost's speed caught my family by surprise and they labored to chase after me. There was no way they'd get to the cliff ahead of me as planned.

The tall grass rustled in the strong sea breeze and whipped my arms, but it didn't bother me. I fell into the same daydream I always had in my nightmare. I found myself running across a sunny meadow. It was so peaceful and pleasant. How could anyone be unhappy with such beauty in the world? Then reality came rushing back when I collided with a surprisingly solid ghost. He stopped at the edge of the cliff -- as he always did in my dream -- and silently fumed.

The cliff blocked him, and I felt the urge to say my line. I had to ask the same question that Sophie did that night to continue.

"Are you through yet?" I asked, trying to add the same bored tone of voice.

I used my normal voice, thinking it was high enough. I hadn't made it far into puberty yet and my voice still hadn't changed. But that night was different. My voice cracked halfway through the line. I messed up.

The look on the ghost's face changed from his usual rage to confusion, lingering there awhile before changing again to sadness. He stared at me with the saddest eyes I've ever seen. I could easily see them, glowing in the darkness. I was sure that those eyes would haunt me for the rest of my life, however long that was. Then he faded away, just as my father arrived, huffing and puffing and yet still managing to scream my name.

"Marty! Are you okay?"

Tears streamed down my face. The sadness of the ghost surprised me. Just like my mother said about Sophie, I think he had unfinished business. I don't think he liked the reenactment any more than any of us.

My father stood looking down at me, and I first nodded yes to answer his question, but the nod turned to shaking my head no. I grabbed him and buried my face in his chest, crying my eyes out.

"Oh, Marty," he said, rubbing my back.

My mother and sister arrived seconds later. They both grabbed one of my wrists and pulled me a good distance away from the cliff. Then they joined me in a tearful hug.

***

We didn't talk much that night. We agreed to leave the big discussion for morning. Everyone was too emotionally wrung out to think straight.

I don't think anyone else noticed someone lurking near the cliff with a flashlight on our walk back to the inn but I didn't bother to mention it. Whoever it was quickly turned the light off when I looked in the general direction. I felt sure it was the caretaker, and I didn't like it one bit. I didn't trust that old man at all. Unfortunately, I couldn't prove anything, so I kept quiet about him.

In spite of the stressful evening, I easily fell into a deep sleep and woke up refreshed once again, very happy to be alive. I think the whole crazy situation helped me appreciate life. Still, I wouldn't wish the experience on anyone.

My family met up for a quick breakfast and by silent agreement, held off awhile longer, finally meeting in the lounge to talk.

"It's my fault," I started.

"What are you talking about?" Mom asked.

"I repeated the line from my dream and the ghost stopped because my voice cracked and ruined the mood."

"Your voice is changing?" my father asked rather gleefully. He really seemed to enjoy having a son to raise. I didn't look forward to breaking the news to him that I wasn't really a boy.

I gave him a sour look and mercilessly deflated his joy before continuing.

"My voice isn't cracking now. Maybe it was just the stress of the moment that did it. But I don't know how to stop it from happening again."

"You could try practicing the line," Lisa offered.

"I guess."

"That assumes you'll be trying again tonight," my mother said. "I don't think I like that idea. I've had just about enough of this place."

"What about Sophie?" I whined.

"I don't care," she growled. "I'm not putting you through this again."

"Please!" I pleaded. "Sophie needs to see it through. She won't rest otherwise."

My mom scowled, but her resolve weakened after staring into my eyes. "I still don't know," she told me. "We'll see."

I felt there was too much at stake to give in. Besides, I'd already been through a lot and I wasn't going to let it be for nothing. I couldn't let the matter rest.

"What if I keep having my nightmare? You said it yourself. It's not healthy. If the ghost doesn't kill me for real, my nightmare will."

"Okay. Okay. We'll try it again. But we'd better damn well be better prepared tonight. Gary?" She turned to my father. "I expect you to go out ahead of time and wait at the cliff, and Lisa will stay here and make sure everything gets started."

"What about you?" I asked her.

"I'll have to think about that."

"Maybe I could take Marty's place?" Lisa spoke up.

"No," I told her. "It has to be me, Lisa. Sophie chose me."

"But why?" she whined. "Why you?"

"I dunno. But have you had my nightmare? Have you heard any of the dance music?"

She slowly shook her head no.

"I know you mean well, but it has to be me."

I smiled at her and she tried smiling back but failed. I got up and gave her a hug. It was going to be an emotional day.

*** to be continued ***

 © 2009 by Terry Volkirch. This work may not be replicated in whole or in part by any means electronic or otherwise without the express consent of the Author (copyright holder). All Rights Reserved. This is a work of Fiction. All the characters and events portrayed in this book are fictional and any resemblance to real people or incidents past, present or future is purely coincidental.