Author's Note: These alternate song lyrics just came to me and I had to share. They're too good not to share. I hope at least some of you enjoy this as much as I do.

Turn to Girl
by Terry Volkirch

(sung to the tune of Turn to Stone by ELO)

An older, somewhat brittle man
(Still young at heart and full of life)
I stay in shape because I can (yearning, yearning)

Strange magic hit my body good
(Turned me into someone new)
And in my room my body stood
In my pink world

I turn to girl when darkness falls
I turn to girl
I turn to girl every single night
And play with dolls

The girl in me won't be denied
(Tea party raves that last 'til dawn)
And at the break of day she cried (yearning, yearning)

I stumble through the day at work
(Thinking of last evening's fun)
Just waiting for the time to lurk
In my pink world

I turn to girl when darkness falls
I turn to girl
I turn to girl every single night
And play with dolls

I turn to girl when darkness falls
I turn to girl

I turn into a girl
When the day turns to night
Why does day into night
Turn me into a girl?
When the nights are so long
And I must carry on
Why do some think it's wrong?
Can't I just play along?

My plushies dance out through the door
(A conga line two miles long)
With hundreds still I wish for more (yearning, yearning)

With daylight comes the man in me
(The melancholy doesn't last)
I will return again to be
In my pink world

I turn to girl when darkness falls
I turn to girl
I turn to girl every single night
And play with dolls

I turn to girl when darkness falls
I turn to girl