I was talking on SKYPE this morning with a long time friend in Sauudia. We usually talk about situations there, his favorite books, and movies too. Yes, there are no movie theatres there, but they haf their vays. :)
He'd gotten heat stroke today and needed a pat on the head. I was suitably motherly to him and then out of the blue, he said,"would you like to meet my Uncle"?
As we talked about the thing in jest, I found myself feeling increasingly tight and got rather emotional feeling to the extent that he lovingly told me to calm down; that it would be alright. I realized how much I want a mate, and to some extent how far I would go to have one. It was quite revealing to me.
Well, it is a forgone conclusion that he would have to know rather soon. Then we'd have the typical shock and eventual rejection that we all fear. Now there are the attendant problems and dangers that are so obvious that I am not even going to mention them.
STILL, the thrill at the posibility remains with me. I am still engaging in fantasy thinking about it. Still, I would be so happy, but it would require a miracle on an absolutely megalithic scale. Would I mind spending the rest of my life under a Niqab much of the time? I've lived in the cold long enough, and would be happy to pay a heavy price.
I am sure that many of you understand my plight.
Khadija
Comments
I Have Chatted With A Guy There
I have chatted with a guy there and he is really interested in me ,but there is NO WAY IN HELL! I would ever become a second class citizen in that society. I told him that I have the freedom to drive here and I don't have to be completely covered in clothing that has to be sweltering in that heat. No man WILL EVER tell me where I can and cannot go or who has to be with me if I do. I just completely quit talking to him. I even had to block him from harassing me after he refused to leave me alone.
Sadly, one has to be very careful...
There are many men in every country in the world who think nothing of using women to obtain money, foreign citizenship, and the list goes on. If they want it, and a woman has it, too bad for her.
Be careful.
Let him come here, where you have the protection of the laws you are familiar with.
In particular, while transsexual surgery is permitted in Saudi Arabia for persons with ambiguous genitalia, such surgery requires the prior approval of a religious scholar, so one would be in a perilous position if a religious scholar were later found who ruled against the 'unauthorised' surgery, in which case one might well find oneself in a perilous position, since any 'homosexual' relationship is punishable by death there.
I am not a lawyer, but I'd talk to at least two or three Saudi lawyers before setting foot in Saudi Arabia, or almost any Arab nation, in your particular position, and get a determinative religious ruling from a local authority first.
Even then, I wouldn't do it.
Cheers,
Puddin'
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Cheers,
Puddin'
A tender heart is an asset to an editor: it helps us be ruthless in a tactful way.
--- The Chicago Manual of Style
Not as bad as one would think?
I am comfortable with your reservations about the deal. The biggest problem is that we are moghayirat el jins "Male to Female Transgender. If one was crafty, perhaps a person could develop a way to get themselves registered at having been intersexed rather than the usual. Sauudia has quite liberal laws about the Intersexed.
I have quite a few friends there and friends here who are from there. What I am being told is if you are in Rhyad, it is extremely conservative. If you live in other cities, I think Jeddah being one of them, then it is likely that you won't even have to wear a Hijab and a woman can drive.
Of course I am Muslim, and know that the man is boss, so there is no conflict there. Most women I talk to say that they can usually persuade the husband to be very accomodating. However, if he views it as too dangerous or something, then game over.
Anyone that knows me is aware that my nature is very adaptable to limited freedom. I was raised that way, and kept that way during 39 years of marriage. For me, learning to make my own decisions was extremely traumatic.
I'm thinking that I will tell my friend that I am trans tomorrow so that I do not risk even more heart break later. We all know what that is about.
*hugs*!
That is a hard choice to have to make, and I don't envy you being in that situation. You are cared about here, and what prayers and well wishes I can offer are yours, as always, both for guidance in making the choice and in finding happiness whichever way you decide. Hugs, Khadija, and let us know.
-Liz
-Liz
Successor to the LToC
Formerly known as "momonoimoto"
OK, I wasn't going to comment, but I think I have to now.
I can't even begin to imagine what it is to be transgender and consider yourself Muslim. I have followed your blogging and I still have no concept of your reality. I will say that given my personal experience of Muslim males, I would not want to be in your position. I married a man who was raised Unitarian and he still can't handle my nature almost 21 years later, so I like totally have no worthwhile advice to give.
That's not exactly true. I do have one piece of advice. That is that you do what makes you happy, whatever that might be.
I personally cannot conceive of living under Sharia(Islamic Law). If, however, that is what you want to do, and if that is something that makes you happy, you have a somewhat bewildered but absolutely supportive friend. If you ever need something over there, drop me a line, maybe I can help.
I am Muslim
Well, lets keep this calm, so we don't get unpubed. General comments about anything just aren't true much of the time. It's true about pickups, horses, and Muslims. What most everyone knows about anything comes our way via the media or our government. A person really has to be a critical thinker to examine anything and come to any logical conclusions.
I am Muslim in that I feel comfortable with what I know to be true about Islam. At first I was exposed to very conservative people, and found it really confining. Now, I am an extremely moderate one, and things are much better.
We all know that Christians run the range from the white supremacists in Idaho, to the Unitarians, and I have seen both kinds and many in between. The Same goes for Islam. I am also an activist for Transgender rights. Sure I get bloodied at times and wish I were dead but for some inexplicable reason, I heal up and go after it again. I do not know why. There is a sizeable movement to advance a moderate Islamic expression, and I am part of it.
True, I was carried away on the winds of my own desires for a while, but this morning, I told my friend that I could never marry his uncle. It breaks my heart that I can probably never have a mate again. All of us here know the profound lonliness of a T person.
I simply do not know what is going to happen if I do not find a companion. I'll probably do the same thing that the rest of us do; try to put a happy face on it; develop other past times. Unfortunately, I do not seem to have the ability to run down to the bar and find someone to give me a good reaming or even a licking for that matter. I suppose that one of the turn offs is that most people you find there simply want a recepticle for their lustyness, and then they are gone leaving you feeling used and bereft.
Besides, I may as well live a fantasy to some extent. I am legally insane, have some money, and no employer will take me seriously.
Khadija