Life is Hard, Then You Nap

by: Lilith Langtree


What happens when you get bit by an unfamiliar cougar on your birthday?

The North American cougar has, over the centuries, been given many names, such as puma, panther, mountain lion or devil, carcajou, sneak cat, or lord of the forest. The North American cougar belongs to the genus “Felidae” and is the 2nd largest wildcat species in the western hemisphere after the South American jaguar. An adult male cougar can reach a weight of 75 kilograms and a length of over 2 meters.

I struggled with the metric conversion formulas in my head and came up with about 160 pounds and almost six and a half feet long. "Big sucker, aren't you?"

That was pretty much the last coherent thought I had before the thing ate me.

~O~

Okay eating me is a little bit of a stretch, but I have a nice set of scars on either side of my right forearm now. The London Zoo was somewhat perturbed that I wanted to pet the Cougar. Anyone who knows anything knows that the big predators are usually drugged up. How was I to know that they stopped doing that in Jolly ole England?

It was a heck of a birthday present.

That was a year ago. This is now.

For my twenty-first birthday I planned to make the most of the weekend. My birthday was on a Friday and it was the first time I would legally be able to go clubbing, so I found a nice pair of pants and a loose fitting button down. After a rather sweaty day at work I thought it best to shower, but before that I wanted to take the edge off of my… eagerness. All week long, I had been anticipating the weekend. As of five o'clock I was on the prowl and hard as the proverbial rock. If I was lucky enough to bring a girl back to my place I didn't want to blow off in thirty seconds.

Coming out of my teen years had been a blessing. I was descending from the sexual peak of most males, but still had excellent recovery power and fairly decent stamina. This means I could go for about fifteen minutes before losing control. But I wanted it to be good tonight so that meant releasing some of the build up pressure. Hey, it couldn't hurt.

After booting up my laptop I pulled up my porn file and got to work. I won't go into details about how I masturbate. You really don't need to know. Let's just say I'm normal and leave it at that, hmm?
My preferred taste in females was the classic curvy figure. It was nature's way, for the most part. I know that girls come in all shapes and sizes, but to me a girl should have full kissable lips, a long neck, large full breasts, a trim waist, wide full hips and slender legs. What could be better?

I set my massive folder up for a slide show, stripped, and leaned back to enjoy the ride.

~O~

"Gheeze! What the hell?"

Something happened. I don't know what the hell I'd eaten last night or during the day, but it made my… stuff, stink. It wasn't skunk stink, but I didn't find it pleasant at all. The bad part? I got kind of randy at the end and wound up making a mess of things. Now, even after a long shower, Irish Spring, and cologne, I could still smell it.

I didn't exactly reek, but I had an odor about me. "Great, I'm not getting laid tonight." No girls would go home with me after dancing and smelling this funky scent. Maybe my birthdays are cursed.

Regardless of the smelly situation I was determined to have as good of a time as I could. If that meant I didn't get laid until tomorrow, well then so be it. Maybe I could find a nice pool hall, have a few beers, and play a few games. Better than nothing. With a resigned sigh I switched my slacks for jeans and my solid blue clubbing shirt for a practical long-sleeve western style button down. When I was done dressing I reached into my closet for a pair of alligator roach killers.

For those of you not in the know, roach killers are pointy toed cowboy boots. It's the only kind of boot you wear unless you are an actual cowboy and work on a ranch. After checking my image out in the closet mirror I gave myself a brief nod and headed out.

~O~

Cornbread's was the name of the local pool hall. They had actual sawdust on the floor. It was mainly there to cover up the dirt and fallen bar bites. They didn't really sweep up too much. After handing over my credit card and grabbing a long necked beer I found my assigned table, in the corner and set about to try to have a good time.

Three beers, a plate of potato skins, and seven games later the hall had filled to near capacity. I ordered another beer and sat on a barstool by my table with my cue in hand. That was the local sign that I was open to have a challenger come and play a game or two. Got to observe proper pool hall etiquette you know. Cigarette smoke filled the air along with the smell of spilled beer.

My eyes roamed over the large room and settled on the bar for a few moments. It had looked like everyone else was already engaged in a game or had no interest in joining me. My birthday was turning out to be a total bust. That was until I caught a very intense look from a guy at the very end of the bar. It was like he was sizing me up. He didn't look particularly pleased with me for some reason. I saw him nod to the bartender and settle up his tab. Huh, weird. Whatever.

From the direction he was headed I thought he was going to leave the bar, but instead he stopped and turned around. I took another pull at my beer and watched as he made his decision and headed my way. Maybe he had a bone to pick or maybe he was deciding whether or not he had enough time to play a game before he had to get home to the wife. It was hard to tell.

By the time he had approached I noticed his breathing seemed a little to rapid for a short stroll across the bar and his nostrils were flared as if he were taking in a deep breath. He nodded to the table.

"Up for a game?"

An odd thought came to me at that moment. What if he was gay? The thought left just about as quickly. Nope, the gay crowd had their part of town. They knew better than to come to a place like Cornbread's. They'd have their ass handed to them if they so much as sashayed their butt or limp-wristed a gesture around here.

"Sure," I replied. "Fun or money."

He nodded in understanding and reached into his pocket to withdraw a couple of twenties to lay under the chalk on the banister to the side where my beer stood. I mirrored his action and then pulled two random balls out of the rack.

"Shoot for break?"

We each took a ball and stood side by side cuing up our respective balls and bouncing them off the far bumper. The closest one to the original bumper gets to break. He won. I set the balls back in the rack and prepared them for the game, then moved to the side and took another swig of beer as a loud crack sounded. The balls scattered around the table and two solids seated themselves firmly into corner pockets.

Great. There's forty-dollars down the toilet. I didn't begrudge the guy the money. He was good, and it was my fault for offering the bet. We don't hold well with bad sportsmanship around here. If you were stupid enough to put your money up then you were man enough to accept the consequences.

I watched as he ran the table, ball after ball until he dropped the eight-ball in at the end. All in all it took about three minutes. I've had blowjobs that I've paid for that last longer. With a sigh I took my forty dollars and set it underneath the chalk to show that it was his. Like I said, good sportsman ship. After he pocketed the money he made himself comfortable and ordered a beer from the waitress. I undid the button on my right sleeve and rolled it up under my elbow then performed the same action to the other. It was time to get down to business.

After pulling another forty out and setting it down. I took my place at the table while he racked the balls.

"Nice scar," he mentioned as he indicated the marks on my forearm.

Being the manly man that I am, I had to show it off. I pulled up the sleeve a little so he could get the full effect. "Cougar bite."

"Sweet."

Only guys could be proud and in awe of something like this.

"Doesn't look too old," he implied a question.

"Year ago today, as a matter of fact."

He nodded. "Looks about right." He shifted a little to the side. "Hey, you mind if I hit the head before we start?"

I shrugged and made myself comfortable on a stool while I finished off my beer. The waitress dropped off two more, and eventually my competition retuned. That's when I smelled it. Sex.

I had no idea where it was coming from, but it was in the air all around me. Trying to push it out of my mine was difficult, so I got up and leaned over the table to take my shot. Within seconds I was hard and it was straining against my jeans. The distraction proved to be my downfall. The break was awful. I barely spread the balls around the table and didn't sink any at all.

After losing that game I called it a night. "I gotta fly, man."

He nodded and held out his hand. We briefly shook. "Nice playing with you."

The guy seemed to hold my hand for a little bit longer than necessary, but released it when I tugged away. "You too."

The ache between my legs was really starting to annoy me. I needed to get home now or I would explode in my jeans right there in front of about a hundred and fifty men. That wouldn't really go over very well.

I settled up as fast as I could and almost dashed out of the door. The smell of sex was stronger than ever. It was all over me. On a investigatory whim I sniffed at my shirt and knew it wasn't me. Then I tried my hands. When I scented my right hand it was like I couldn't get enough and my unit throbbed hard. It almost doubled me over when I reached my car. I knew I wouldn't make it home and my head was swimming. A quick look around the parking lot told me I was alone so I did something that I wasn't really proud of and hadn't ever done before, at least in public. I whipped it out.

Nervous tension ran through me. It felt like I was being watched, but I knew I was alone. Another deep sniff of my palm and I didn't even need to touch myself once. I exploded.

It was like I hadn't ever had sex before. The normal sudden and jerky orgasms I usually had washed away and in its place wave after wave engulfed my body spreading to my extremities and back again. I'd never had an orgasm so intense before and I dropped to my knees, unable to hold myself up any longer.

Blackness crept around the edge of my vision and I instinctively knew I was about to pass out. In reaction I took a deep breath and tried to calm my breathing.

"Gheeze," I gasped.

What the hell was that, and where can I buy some more!

While I was on my knees I thought it best to store my equipment away before someone discovered me. I didn't need to spend the weekend in jail for indecent exposure. Once I was relatively back to normal I noticed the mess I had made. There was no way that all of that came out of me. Like any other red-blooded male I produced about a tablespoon of spooge. What I saw on the ground, the side of my car, the window and my boots was more like a pint. Impossible!

"You okay?"

I nearly jumped. In fact I did. Spinning around on the ground sent sharp rocks tearing into the skin of my knees. There goes another pair of jeans. This just isn't my day.

"I was… uh… lightheaded." Came the excuse, somewhat unnaturally. "Too much beer maybe."

He stepped forward and grabbed a hold under my arm. "It wasn't the beer. We need to get out of here."

What was he talking about. And why the hell did he smell so good. He smelled exactly like my palm, like sex. "Huh?" was all that my clouded mind could produce.

"My truck is back here. We'll come back for your jeep tomorrow. Come on."

~O~

The rest of the ride was kind of a blur. He had almost dragged me to his truck and strapped me in the passenger side then made like a bat out of hell toward the city limits. I remember street lights flashing and then ending all together before we stopped. Something cold was pressed to my lips and I drank greedily.

"It's water. Take as much as you can. It'll help the shift."

I didn't question what he was saying. I don't even think I could if I wanted to. I just knew that I was incredibly thirsty and the water was the best tasting thing on the planet. Three bottles later and I think my thirst was quenched for the time being.

"What's happening to me?"

The guy's face was inches in front of me. "You wouldn't believe me if I told you. But trust me, you'll be fine by tomorrow morning. You're going to have to take my word for this, but something's going to happen and it would be best if you didn't try and fight it. Just go with the flow."

He stopped and looked up into the sky. I blinked a few times trying to clear my vision and then I looked up as well. Huh, full moon tonight, and it was almost at its apex in the sky.

Hands messed with the buttons on my shirt. "We have to get you out of these clothes if you want to keep them… though I guess it really doesn’t matter."

Weird thoughts ran thought my head and I tried to vocalize them. "I'm not… gay."

He laughed. "Don't worry, neither am I. Your ass is safe with me, buddy."

At this point I don't think I could have fought him off if I wanted to. I was getting really hot, in a temperature kind of way. It felt like I was running a high fever. Considering what I felt like it didn't surprise me. Before I knew it I was on the tailgate of his truck and butt naked, staring at the moon. Out of the corner of my eye I saw the guy just as naked and I cringed as I thought he was going to do something that I didn't want. So much for not getting laid tonight.

The smell that was coming off of him was driving me crazy, but the difference this time was that I wasn't hard anymore.

Movement of the truck brought my attention back to my naked partner. He hovered over me and brushed sweaty matted hair out of my face. "Shhh. You'll be okay."

My breath was coming in quick pants. "What's… happening?"

"You're shifting for the first time," he said soothingly. "The cougar that bit you a year ago, infected you. It wasn't a normal cougar. The incubation period…"

My back arched off of the bed of the truck as I screamed out in pain at the stabbing ache in my back.

He grabbed me and flipped my over on my front. "Up on all fours now. Just let it happen; don't try to fight it or it will be much worse."

The sound of my joints popping scared me. My teeth ground together and sharp stinging felt like fire along my fingers. My fingernails hardened and thinned turning into claws digging into the hard metal in bed of the truck. My jaw quaked and opened. New teeth formed, sharp and long, transformed along with my tongue; it felt rough, like tiny barbs had formed in reverse along the surface.

Everything stopped for the briefest of moments and then it all happened at once. Fur sprang from my arms, legs and back as bones ground together and shifted into directions man just wasn't meant to move. A scream came from my mouth that turned into a catlike yell, and at its apex I fell to my side and curled up.

My body felt like it had been ripped opened, the bones rearranged and then shoved back in within a span of seconds. I thought I was dying, but instead I'd survived.

The world was different, smaller somewhat. Color had bled from everything around me and instead glowed with a brilliant black and white. The night, illuminated only by the light of the beautiful full moon, shone with crystal clarity.

Sounds came from my mouth now. It reminded me of a wounded cat mewing. But that sound wasn't alone. I would have screamed at the sight of a cougar standing beside me, but to tell the truth I just didn't have the energy. I'd almost welcome the end of my life if it would just get on with it.

Instead, the cougar was purring, deep and long. It was scary as hell and a comfort all in one shot. It approached me and nuzzled my neck, its long rough tongue brushing my neck and jaw, until it seemed to be pushing me. I took the hint and tried to get up. Everything was different. My limbs moved in unfamiliar concert with each other until I stood in the bed of the truck. Hanging my head down I saw the strong sure forelegs of a smaller version of the wild cat that stood in front of me.

I guessed that this is what he was talking about when he told me about shifting. The first thing that popped into my head was that I was a werewolf without the actual wolf part: a were-cougar?

Fantasy meets reality? I'm a supernatural creature of legend. Either that or I'm passed out in a fevered nightmare.

The guy, or rather the other werecougar leaped over me in a single bound and I heard his claws screech along the bed of the truck. It made me crouch instinctively in response until he nudged me again. I moved to the side, but he kept at me until I realized that he wanted me to get out of the truck and onto the ground.

Slightly uncertain about how to proceed I crouched then jumped down, landing perfectly on my front and then rear legs. That wasn't too bad. It was like this body was built specifically to jump. After I thought about it I suppose it was. I was a cat now, a really big cat, but a cat all the same.

~O~

My partner joined me on the ground and then walked around me, sniffing at very specific places, places that made me a little uncomfortable. After a single circle he stopped and bit lightly into the side of my neck, nuzzled my jaw and licked my nose. His purring was almost unending as I stood there for inspection. It was humiliating in some ways, but felt very natural in others, almost instinctive and proper.

I suppose I checked out okay, everything where it was supposed to be an all. That was good. I'd really hated to have shifted into a mythical creature and have left behind a human foot attached to my cat body. That would have been embarrassing. My partner took the lead and trailed away from the truck into the night. I had no idea where we were going, but I'd have to trust him for a while at least.

We entered the forest and I watched as he climbed a thick tree with virtually no effort whatsoever, which was incredibly cool. When he reached his desired branch he hopped onto it and steadied himself, then looked down at me. Bracing myself I leapt at the base of the tree and extended my claws, following his lead I made my way up the side and chose a different branch. The next half hour was spent jumping from branch to branch and tree to tree until we came to a halt in a giant oak.

He made himself comfortable and we waited, for what I had no idea. What I did know was that I was getting really hungry. My ears swiveled around at the sounds of the night. Insects buzzed, and slithering things slithered, but the sound I was most interested in was the crackling of leaves. It brought forth something animalistic from inside of me. Considering what I looked like at the moment I suppose that was a normal feeling.

Movement from behind me made me swivel my head around to spot a doe searching for food. A minute later it was accompanied by two others and a handful of fawns. Saliva ran through my mouth. Oh god, I could almost taste them and it excited me. Turning back toward my partner I saw the intent look on his feline face. He rose off of his haunch slow and graceful, waiting until the doe was almost under the tree before rearing back slightly and leaping with a roar.

For those of you that have never heard a cougar roar, well it's quite scary. They don't roar like lions. The closest thing I could compare it to would be to a pissed off house cat except louder, deeper, and enough to make you pee your pants if you ever heard it coming from above you.

He landed firmly on the back of the deer and his large jaws clamped down with crushing force as I heard a distinctive snap of bones a half second later.

I jumped down after I knew the deer was dead and watched with eagerness as my partner tore into the warm flesh. A yearning mew came out of my mouth, The smell of blood excited me and my stomach ached to be filled. A few minutes later he backed away and allowed me to follow in where he had fed.

I can't describe what the experience was like because I was lost to the instincts of the cat inside me. I just ate.

~O~

When I was through with the feeding I seemed to come back to myself to find my partner there licking my face. Cleaning my mouth and whiskers attentively. It felt nice and I sort of reveled in the attention. I was full and feeling almost sleepy, but the urge of nature called my attention. I licked his face once in thanks and trotted off to take care of business, which was natural and weird all at the same time. I didn't have an urge to lift a leg as I've seen wild creatures do, instead I squatted and did my business.

Afterward the ache I had felt earlier in the night made itself known. It was even more intense than before, so much so that I had a strong desire to yowl, but it came out like a cry, one after another. I tried to hunker to the ground to relieve the pent up tension, but it was no use and I kept crying again and again.

When I saw my partner close in from behind and begin licking my hindquarters I knew something was wrong.

~O~

I think it was the sunlight that made me wake up. It might have been the dusty ground that I was currently lying on or even the arm that was wrapped over mine. But after I thought about it, it was probably the feeling of someone larger than me, spooning me, and his hardness pressed up against my backside.

Oh god, I thought as my brain engaged for the morning. I was drugged, had some really intense hallucinations, and had gay sex. Happy birthday, you're gay now.

I tried to rationalize the situation, but came up empty. I tried to close my eyes and going back to sleep in hopes that whoever it was that I had sex with in the middle of nowhere would get up and leave. I didn't care if I had to hike back to town naked. I just didn't want to face this guy. But it wasn't meant to be. Rocks were digging painfully into my hip and shoulder. By trying to shift my weight to move them it only served to push the rocks into even more inconvenient places.

What it did manage to do was wake up the guy behind me. Please, whoever it up there in the sky watching over me, make him go away.

"How are you feeling?"

Great, just great. Actually I felt okay physically. I didn't have a hangover and didn't seem to be adversely affected by the drugs I had inadvertently taken. My body felt a little weird, but that may just be from sleeping on the ground in the nude.

"Fine." Did that sound come from me? It sounded like a higher pitched voice most definitely not my own. Must have been dry mouth. I cleared my throat and tried again. "I'm fine -- what the hell is wrong with my voice?" I said with something akin to terror.

"Don't panic. You're fine." His voice kind of soothed me until my breathing was under control. "Do you remember what happened last night?" His arm tightened a little around me.

"I did some drugs and had sex?"

His warm breath came in huffs on my neck as he chuckled. "Not exactly."

I winced and my voice got smaller. "Did I turn into a cougar and eat a deer?"

"You remember. Sometimes the first shift can be a little traumatic. I blocked mine out. Still can't remember it."

I breathed out a measured breath, but I still kept my eyes closed. "So it wasn't a dream?"

"Nope."

A question I already knew the answer to just fell out of my mouth. "We had sex?"

"Yes."

I deflated. I can't believe how that happened. Animals aren't gay. At least none that I had ever heard of were. "I thought cougars couldn't be gay."

"They aren't. Or I should say that we aren't," was his response. "You were a female cougar."

My breath increased. I think I was having a panic attack or if I wasn't then I really needed to have one.

"It's okay. It's part of the change."

"It's okay for you! You didn't have a animal cock shoved into…"

He squeezed me and whispered, "Shhh, you couldn't help yourself and I couldn't either. You were in heat. It's what happens after you get bit."

"What?" I sputtered.

"You were bit one year ago yesterday, correct?"

I nodded.

"That's how long it takes for the were-virus to change your DNA. It does it very slowly. Then after a year it depends on what sex the first cougar you run up against is." He paused for a second. "I'm male, obviously, and your body recognized that so when you shifted for the first time it made you a female cougar."

What he was saying was starting to sink into my head.

"I've been told that it's to help the species reproduce. As solitary as we are it's hard enough. Nature was giving us a boost to help us along."

"Reproduce?" Then it all clicked in my head. My voice, the feeling of being smaller than the guy last night, the strange way my body felt. I opened my eyes and looked down as I lifted my arm, along with the guy's. A pair of breasts laid side by side attached to my chest. I lowered my arm and felt him pull me into his body.

"Don't you worry about anything," he said. "I'll take good care of you and our kittens."
_
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Author's note: It's a one shot ladies and gentlemen. I hope you enjoyed.