TO SHAPE ONE'S LIFE
Part 3 of 4
Chapter Six: Deities to Go

by Jeffrey M. Mahr

It seems that I have spent my entire time
trying to make life more rational
and that it was all wasted effort.

-- A. J. Ayer

      "Good morning, Master." Colleen was lying in the huge heart-shaped bed next to Richard, gently massaging him awake while Inga stood beside the bed holding a tray with steaming coffee and pastries. Richard stretched and glanced toward the window wall to see sunlight streaming in. Ignoring his servants for a moment, he watched the dust motes lazily dance in the beams of light. Satisfied that there was still randomness to their movements, he sat up. Colleen immediately propped several pillows behind him and Inga gracefully slid onto the bed beside him. Colleen returned to her gentle rubbing while Inga carefully fed the Lord and Master of Creation, Richard Boatman, God.

**********

      "Concentrate, damn it. I don't want to spend the rest of my life as a dog." It had been a late night and an early morning. They had been attempting to replicate Richard's findings for more than four hours now.

      "I am. I am. It just isn't working." Jose groaned and rubbed his aching head. "I just can't seem to do anything. Can we take a break?"

      "No. We need to do this and do it now. We have no idea how long Richard is going to leave us alone."

      "Alright." Jose sighed. "But we've got to try something different."

      "Any ideas?"

      "Just one. Let's try hypnosis."

      "Fine. Sit back on the couch and I'll hypnotize you. Then, we'll try again." Josef started to get comfortable.

      "Wait a minute here." She sat bolt upright. "Why aren't I hypnotizing you?"

      "Do you have any idea how to hypnotize a dog?"

      "No. I guess not." Hesitantly Jose continued. "Oh alright, I guess we should do this." She sat back and got comfortable. In the meantime Dean was quietly growling in frustration as he struggled to wrap a watch chain around one paw.

      "Could you help me here." He finally gave up in frustration. Jose went to her desk and brought back some transparent tape. Dan jumped onto the coffee table and sat up while Jose knelt beside the frustrated dog and taped the watch to his paw before getting comfortable again.

      "Thank you." Dean raised his paw and started the dangling watch swaying from side to side. "I want you to look at the watch. Watch the watch. See it swaying back and forth, back and forth..." The dog continued speaking in a soft, soothing, relaxing voice for several minutes as she watched Josef's eyes slowly droop and eventually close.

      "Now, Josef. Open your eyes." Josef's eyes opened.

      "Very good. You can hear only me. Nod if you understand me, Josef." Josef nodded. Dean sat panting quietly on the coffee table as he thought for several minutes.

      "Josef listen very carefully. First, no matter how I appear you will always recognize me. No matter how I sound, you will always recognize me. No matter how I communicate with you, you will always understand me. Do you understand?" A nod.

      "In a few moments I'll say the phrase 'Heinlein's Hinny' and you'll wake up. If I communicate that phrase to you in any way at any time in the future you'll immediately fall asleep again. Do you understand?" Another nod.

      "When I wake you up you are going to believe several things with absolute confidence. You will believe these things with every fiber of your being. Is that understood?" Another nod.

      "First, you will believe that there is no such thing as reality. What you have always thought was reality is just a shared delusion. Do you understand?" Josef nodded again.

      "Second, you will believe that what is perceived as reality is really a continuously changing collection of fictons, basic building blocks of everything around you, that are modified by your thoughts. Do you understand?" Yet another nod.

      "Thirdly, you will believe that you are the universe. Everything that was, is, or will be is due to your will. Do you understand?" Josef nodded.

      "Finally, because you are the universe and you are able to shape and form it as you wish. Your thoughts are like law. They must happen and all that surrounds you, that is you, recognizes and accepts your wishes. Your wishes are those of all around you. Do you understand?" A nod.

      Oh yes, one last thing. You will always allow me to exist and retain my memories of who and what I am, and you will remember me as a human being again rather than as a dog. Heinlein's Hinny!"

**********

      The throne room was full again. Scantily clad, beautiful women with long spears lined the way from the massive doors to the throne. A large group was being escorted forward, nine men and four women. Unlike all the people before them, this group immediately knelt and bowed before Richard.

      "Welcome. You may speak." A distinguished, silver haired man looked up without rising.

      "Greetings. My name..."

      "You are George Kingman Smith, Chairman of the Board of Directors of Clarke University, and these," he gestured to the others, "are the rest of the Board."

      "Why, yes." Only the slight widening of his eyes revealed the surprise he felt. "We are here..."

      "You are here to honor me for my unique and brilliant research."

      "Right again." This time even the eyes gave back nothing. "We..."

      "Also want me to continue my research here at Clarke University with full funding." This time George said nothing, waiting.

      "And you want the results of my research for yourselves." The eyes glanced downward for but an instant before once again coolly staring back at Richard.

      "And of course, you want all this for the betterment of mankind." Richard sneered and clapped his hands once. Instantly the guards surrounded the group, spears shining in the light as they pointed at the hearts of the Board members from just inches away.

      "So transparent." He tsked. "Not one of you cares about helping the great unwashed masses. Each of you has dreams of avarice and control." He pointed to one.

      "You, Dr. Bischoff, you would rid the world of disease. How noble. Isn't it a shame you plan to offer it only to those rich enough to afford the exorbitant prices you plan to charge."

      "You, Mrs. Wellman." He pointed to a thin, immaculately coiffured woman of about fifty. Yours is a much more humanitarian goal. You wish to use the power I've discovered to become young again." He smiled briefly, a cold, distant smile. "But you to have no interest in sharing with others. You expect to live forever un-aging and amassing a fortune beyond that imagined by even the greediest of fools."

      "Ah, here we are." He pointed to a tall, muscular, balding man with bronze skin. "You are the most humanitarian of the lot. You wish to use my power to make your son President of the United States." The smile was back. "You will then control him to make your company the biggest, most powerful in the world."

      "All but two of you are money grubbers, Whores of Babylon. Only you two." He pointed to a man and a woman standing at the back of the group. "Only the two of you have no ambitions. You." He jabbed a finger at the man, short, with a widow's peak of white hair. I've never met someone so enamored by the bureaucratic process. Your only ambition is to complete paperwork correctly. The phrase 'stuffed shirt' was made for one such as you. You have no conscience. You would as soon condemn someone to death as give them the moon so long as the paperwork is correct, but woe unto the person who does it wrong. It amazes me that any human being can be so inflexible."

      "And you." He pointed to a woman of about forty who would have been considered beautiful were she not surrounded by a bevy of perfect specimens of femininity. "You have thoughts only for your appearance. You are a stupid jackass with no opinions but those given you by others. You are only here because the others came and you were afraid to object. You are only on the Board because your family is so wealthy."

      Richard looked to the crowd. "It's time women. Shall we?" The crowd roared and Richard turned back to the Board members.

      "You have been judged, so be it." Richard waved his hands dismissively and sat back in the throne while everyone waited expectantly.

      "It is more fun when it happens slowly so it can be savored." Inga and Colleen enthusiastically agreed with his aside.

      On the floor below the Board members cautiously milled about watching each other. "Hey, where's his jacket?"

      "Hey, She's got hair on her hands."

      "What's happening to my ears?"

      For all but two the changes were the same. Hair grew, even where there had been none before. Nails grew and turned bright red. Lips became plumper and also bright red. Clothes flowed and molded themselves to new body forms. When it was over there were ten more women, all in varying forms of undress more than dress and all looking for the proverbial street lamp to stand under. Only the spear points prevented the new women from physically attacking the only man left in the room, but even the spears did not prevent their catcalls, taunts, and propositions.

      For the other two it was different. The woman Richard had called dumb stared at her fingernails as they slowly grew until the fingers were gone and only hooves were left. Coarse hair grew everywhere as the ears elongated. Teeth flattened and grew while the nose and mouth began to elongate also. Falling to all fours, clothing ripped as her torso began to grow and a tail formed. Soon there was a full sized mule standing amongst the milling ladies of the evening.

      For the last of the group the changes were even more peculiar. First his suit coat and pants disappeared followed immediately by his underpants. Blushing he quickly crouched and covered his genitals with his hands failing to notice that he was shrinking closer to the floor as his legs shortened. Suddenly things became two dimensional as the remainder of his body melted and flowed to form around his white shirt. Eyes, nose, ears, and mouth became buttons and flesh tones faded to white. When it was done a neatly pressed white shirt stood upright, as if on an invisible body form, until the mule accidentally kicked it over.

      As the transformations ended, Richard laughed maniacally and the crowd again roared its approval.

**********

      "Have you done it yet? Have you hypnotized me?" Josef blinked and rubbed her eyes.

      "Yes Josef. Shall we test out your new powers? I'd like to be human again." Dean's tail wagged furiously as he jumped from the coffee table to the couch by Josef and raised his paw for Josef to remove the taped on watch. Josef reached for it but stopped short just before touching it.

      "Let's start small." She put her hand back in her lap and stared fiercely at the watch.

      "Nothing seems to be happening." Dean jiggled it.

      "Let me try again." This time Josef closed her eyes. With a furrowed brow and pursed lips she concentrated again. Dean jiggled it again impatiently and it fell off. Dean's mouth fell open as he watched it fall to the couch cushion. The chain wriggled like a snake and was sucked into the watch, which stretched and bulged a bit at each end. The silver metal lost its sheen and roughened, becoming a dull tan. The words "Doggy Treats" formed and a dog biscuit lay on the couch where the pocket watch had been.

      "Ahhh, you can open your eyes now." Dean gulped and stared at Josef with a fearful look in his eyes as he slowly lowered his paw. Josef opened her eyes and looked first at Dean inquiringly. Then, as her eyes slid down to the cushion and the biscuit on it, the expression change to shock, fear, and then triumph.

      "I did it. I did it." She clapped her hands and bounced up and down in her joy.

      "So it would seem, and while I appreciate the gift, I'd really prefer to be human again." Dean waited expectantly.

      "Would you like to eat first?" Josef giggled.

      "Thank you, no."

      "Oh, very well." Josef shrugged her shoulders and braced herself before closing her eyes and concentrating. After several minutes she slumped back onto the soft cushions and took in several ragged breaths. She spoke without daring to open her eyes.

      "Did it work?" Silence. The silence continued for several seconds while an exhausted Josef continued to breath hard. Just as she was about to open her eyes to see for herself a soft mellifluous voice spoke out.

      "Sort of."

      Tentatively Josef opened one eye and then both popped wide open. Sitting before her was an outrageously beautiful woman. A woman dressed exactly like she was and looking exactly like her sat where Dean had been.

 

**********

 
Chapter Seven: Unveilings

 

Prove to me that you're no fool.
Walk across my swimming pool.
         -- Tim Rice

 
      I'm bored."

      "What may we do to please you Lord?" Richard was standing by the picture window of his office staring petulantly at the panorama before him while Colleen gently kneaded his neck and shoulders.

      "I haven't decided. No. I have decided." He smiled beatifically. "It's time for the people of the world to bow before me and show their respect."

      "How shall we allow them to display their veneration, Master?"

      "I shall go out among them so that they may prostrate themselves before me."

      "May we permit the media to record your beneficence for posterity?"

      "Sure."

      Colleen ran back to the desk to arrange news coverage.

      "How will you present yourself to the masses, Master?"

      "An excellent question. We need to do something of biblical proportions, something that will impress, that will allow my flock memories worthy of a god, that will permit them a mythology with which to revere me." Inga looked on adoringly while Colleen finished on the telephone and returned.

      "I know." They were outside by the lake again.

      "What is your desire, Master?"

      "Stand apart and watch each other." They quickly moved about ten feet apart and watched each other, wondering what would happen.

      There was tingling from the waist down. Their bikini bottoms disappeared and the skin on their legs began to turn brown. A coarse coating of hair formed. They glanced quizzically at Richard but their eyes quickly returned to each other when the tingling restarted and increased to an uncomfortable tickle. Inga reached back to scratch at the itch behind her and found a lump growing out of her buttocks. Looking back at Colleen she saw what must have been a similar brown lump forming just above her buttocks. The lump elongated and became a tail. Then the tail began stretching backward and small lumps formed underneath. Quickly expanding, another set of brown hair covered legs formed. Once the hind legs touched the ground the entire lower portions of their bodies began to swell and grow. When the tingling finally stopped they were each about a foot and a half taller and from the lower waist down were equines. Richard had even thoughtfully shoed their hooves.

      "Take a few moments to acclimate to your new bodies and we'll be off.

**********

      "Why am I a clone of you?" Dean, now Deanna, was outraged. "You were supposed to make me like I was, a man."

      Josef blinked and rubbed his eyes trying to relieve the dull headache that had just appeared.

      "I said what happened? I was supposed to become a man again."

      "I, uh...I...don't know." Josef stopped rubbing. "But I need something for this headache." He got up and headed for the bathroom off the bedroom and the medicine cabinet therein.

      "Stop." Not quite to the bedroom door Josef turned.

      "What's the matter?"

      "Josef, you are a Godling." Josef looked blankly at Dean. "Make the damn headache disappear." She waited, arms crossed and frowning. Josef nodded and closed her eyes so she could concentrate better. A few seconds later she opened her eyes, smiled and returned to the couch.

      "Headache gone?" Josef nodded.

      "Good. Then how about turning me back into myself? I don't feel comfortable like this."

      "I...can't." Josef was trembling.

      "Stop trembling." Dean's hand went out to Josef's and gently held it. "Why can't you?"

      "Because...I'm afraid." Tears were dripping down Josef's face. "If I turn you back into a man I'm going to turn into a bimbo again."

      "It's all right. Try. I promise I'll make you turn me back into a woman if necessary. Remember, I can always hypnotize you again if need be. Now please give it a try." Dean pleaded, a tear welling up in his eye. "I'm not used to being a woman."

      Josef looked deeply into Richard's eyes before permitting his answer to grudgingly seep out. "I guess." A deep sigh and then Josef closed his eyes frowning, head down, shoulders stooped dejectedly. He began concentrating.

**********

      President Arnold was presiding over the second joint meeting of the National Security Council and the National Science Council. The first time was when the United States was considering the possibility of dropping atomic weapons on Japan.

      "I'd like an explanation and a course of action gentleman, and I'd like one now." President Arnold was not happy.

      "We know that something has happened to dramatically change the surface of the moon. We know that it resembles the face of a white Caucasian male." Professor Sidney Shankar, Nobel Laureate in Physics, hesitantly raised his hand. His parents had wanted him to have an anglicized name but still wanted to honor the memory of their maternal grandfather, thus Siddartha had become Sidney Arthur.

      "We've contacted the various observatories and there was no indication of unusual astronomical activity of any type. Similarly, there is no evidence of a sudden commencement of volcanic activity. There is no known scientific explanation for what has happened."

      "Thank you, Professor. I suppose ruling out options is better than nothing, but I had hope for more."

      He slumped back in his seat, taking a moment to scratch the ears of his ever-present Wire Hair Terrier, Frisky, before continuing. "Does anyone have anything positive to offer?"

      C. Konrad Erlich, National Security Advisor, spoke up. "Expanding upon Dr. Shankar's comments, Sir," He wiped his brow and nervously straightened out his tie as he spoke. "That rules out both natural causes and the possibility that this was the action of a foreign power, earthly or otherwise. Using Occam's Razor we might want to consider the Vatican's position. The only thing that seems to be left is a supernatural cause."

      "What is the Vatican's position?"

      "Our sources say that the College of Cardinals will recommend to the Pope that this be considered a miracle."

      "Is that what our position should be?"

      "Sir," Paula Roberson, Chief of Staff spoke up, "Ah think it would be a good idea to be sure that any position taken be reassurin'. Afta the latest round of natural disasters and the Canadian grain embargo we cain't afford to do anythin' that would upset people. You'all are too close to re election."

      "Are you saying we can't afford a miracle?"

      "Ah'm afraid so, Sir. Theah's already been riotin'. Confirmin' that somethin's happenin' that's beyond ouah control could risk even moah civil unrest."

      "Great." The President sighed. "Gentlemen, thank you for your input. I guess I need some time to make a decision."

**********

      "Oh Eric, thank god you're all right. I was so worried. There was rioting. I called the police." The words rushed out between sobs as Dolores Schrader ran to her husband, hugging him and crying in her joy.

      "It's all right my dear. It's all right. I'm fine. I was just delayed and couldn't get to a telephone. I'm sorry I worried you. Please calm down." Eric cooed as he held her and stroked her hair lovingly. The sobbing had almost disappeared. Eric gently held her face with both hands, looking up into her eyes. "Please stop. I'll get that cellular phone you've been begging me to get. Then this will never happen again."

      She nodded.

      "Thank you, my dear." Eric lovingly patted Dolores on the fanny. "Please let me get out of these work clothes and get me a martini dear. Once I change I'll be happy to fill you in on the day's happenings." Reluctantly, Dolores released her husband and allowed him to slip off to the bedroom to change. Moving to the bar she poured two martinis from the pitcher she had been drinking from for the past two hours.

      In the bedroom, after a quick face and hand washing, Eric walked over to the dresser for a change of clothing. Eric's gaze was momentarily diverted to the framed photograph of the two of them from their wedding. Memories of that wonderful day, both of them in white, a church full of friends, and that glorious evening in San Francisco flitted across Eric's mind. "I'll have to do something special to atone for what I must have just put her through."

      A change of clothing in hand, Eric turned to the full-length mirror. Quickly stripping off her red bikini Eric replaced it with a more relaxing, blue and white polka dot one. She checked her makeup, fluffed her hair and changed heels to match the new attire and returned to Dolores to elaborate on her day. A much more interesting day then it would have been if she had still been a garbage man like she'd started off the day.

**********

      "Oh, forget it. We'll do this the easy way. Heinlein's Hinny." The damn fool was too scared to return Dean's manhood and Dean was tired of trying to persuade Josef with rationality. No matter how hard he concentrated he didn't really believe it and so it couldn't become reality.

      "Thank god for the careful planning that resulted in my including this post hypnotic suggestion. Now, how do I word this? I've got to make sure he wants to do it or even the hypnotic state won't be enough." Dean stood up to pace while he thought unconsciously straightening his hem and checking his makeup with a glance in the mirror.

      "A reason. I need a reason to give Josef so he'll want to do it and it's got to be a good reason, after all she's right. If I'm male she's going to fawn all over me and make it even easier for me to control her. She'll be the god, but I'll have the power. I know." The pacing stopped. "I'll make her love me. She'll want to please me without concern for her own needs. Yes! I like it!"

      Walking back to the couch, heels clicking on the polished wood floor, Dean carefully smoothed the back of her miniskirt as she sat facing Josef. "Josef, open your eyes and look at me."

      Josef's eyes opened.

      "Listen carefully Josef. You love me. You are madly in love with me. You would do anything to please me, anything at all. Do you understand me Josef?" Josef nodded.

      "Speak to me Josef. Do you understand me?"

      "Yes, Dean. I love you with all of my heart. I would do anything to make you happy."

      "Good. Tell me how much you love me, Josef. Would you do anything I ask of you?"

      "Yes, Dean. Anything."

      "Would you do something that might hurt you for me?"

      "Yes, Dean. I would gladly do anything for you."

      "Would you put my needs ahead of yours?"

      "Yes, Dean. Your needs come first."

      "Good. Now I need you to understand that I am very unhappy. I don't like this body. I want to be happy with my body. You want me to be happy with my body, don't you?"

      "Yes, Dean, I want you to be happy with your body."

      "I want my old life back Josef. I want to be who I was Josef. Make me who I was Josef. Make me a man again. Do you understand?"

      "Yes Josef."

      "Good. Do it now Josef." Dean waited while Josef concentrated. Her brow furrowed and her clenched hands trembled with the effort but nothing happened.

      "Oh, forget it Josef, enough." Dean hit her thigh with her hand in her anger. "It's not working. I'll bet you can't do it while you're hypnotized. After all, you can't be a megalomaniac and still be subservient to my will, can you?" Dean brushed an errant strand of hair from her face and continued.

      "Josef, I'm going to wake you in a moment. When I do you will be madly in love with me. You will want to do anything you can to make me happy. Do you understand?"

      "Yes, Dean."

      "Good. 'Heinlein's Hinny.'" Josef blinked.

      "Did I doze off?"

      "You must have been daydreaming." Dean gently took Josef's hand in hers and Josef glowed with the pleasure of Dean's attention. "We need to talk."

      "Certainly, Dean?"

      "I want you to make me a man again." Josef's glow slowly faded into a frown as Dean spoke. "I'm not happy being a woman. You want me to be happy don't you?"

      "With all my heart, Dean. I love you. I'd do anything for you." Tears flowed freely on both their faces.

      "Good, then please make me happy. Please change me. I want to be a man again." He waited. Josef closed his eyes and furrowed his brow thinking furiously for several long seconds while Dean waited impatiently. Finally Josef's eyes opened and he smiled. "How do you feel now?"

      Dean thought for a moment and smiled too hugging Josef. "Oh thank you, Josie. Thank you so much. Those silly ideas are gone. I'm so happy. I love being me again. I love being a woman." Deanna stretched luxuriously and went back to hugging her dearest friend and twin sister, Josette.

**********

 
Chapter Eight: Out on the Town

 

As I was walking up the stair
I met a man who wasn't there.
He wasn't there again today.
I wish he'd stay away.
         -- Hughes Mearns

 
      "Let's party." Deanna jumped up from the couch and turned on the radio. Returning to the couch she grabbed Josef's hands and tried to drag her up off the couch to dance.

      "We've got to find Richard." Josef refused to get up. "He's the cause of all this. We need to either convince him to change things back to normal or find some way to stop him before he totally destroys the world."

      "Then, let's eat." Deanna dropped Josef's hands and continued dancing on her own. "I'm starved and you don’t want to take on Richard with an empty stomach, do you?"

      "If I feed you will you let me think?"

      "No," Deanna giggled, "But I won't keep trying to make you dance."

      "Alright already." Josef sighed. "What do you want to eat?"

      "What have we got?"

      "Nothing but this dog biscuit. You should know that. You've been through the refrigerator and the cupboards."

      Deanna thought a moment and then responded with a bright smile. "Shall we eat out or have someone deliver?"

      "Deanna, you know I can't be around men without trying to bed them." Josef was shocked. "Remember what happened the last time we had food delivered."

      "Yup. I had to growl at you and lock you in our bedroom."

      "Wait a minute. You remember being a Poodle?"

      "Sure."

      "Do you also remember being Dean of the School of Arts and Sciences?"

      "Sure. Why shouldn't I?" Josef ignored the question.

      "And you know that you're my twin now?"

      "Of course silly." Deanna giggled. "Why are you asking these silly questions and when are we going to eat?"

      "One last question. Do you remember wanting to be a man?"

      "Sure."

      "You do? And you don't want to be a man now?"

      "Hey, you said just one more question."

      "Please humor me."

      "Oh, okay," Deanna sighed. "It's a darn good thing I think you're special." The smile was back. "It's like the words of the song, 'I enjoy being a girl.'" She pouted briefly. "I also enjoy food. Can we please eat now?"

      Josef didn't answer.

      "Josie?" Still no answer. "Josie, sweetie." Silence. "JOSETTE RIMSKY. CALLING JOSETTE RIMSKY."

      "Huh." Josef blinked. "Oh. Sorry. I guess I wasn't paying attention. I guess Richard's theory really is correct. Anyway, what were you saying?"

      "I said FEED ME, before I get you a strange looking, singing, cannibalistic plant that's as hungry as me." Deanna broke out in giggles again, this time joined by Josef who reached over and hugged her girlfriend.

      "So. What do you want to eat?" Josef reached for the telephone book on the coffee table and began leafing through the restaurant section. "Armenian, Barbecue, Burgers, Cajun, Chinese, English, French, German, Greek, Homestyle, Indian, Italian, Japanese, Pizza, Ribs, Steaks ..." Deanna's hand stopped the further turning of pages.

      "Surprise me."

      "Great. My choice." Josef grumped as she closed the telephone book. "Then the second question is how do we do it without bedding someone?"

      "Oh Josef, you're being silly again."

      "Huh?"

      "You mean 'Duh.' Poof it up. Make it appear. Use your power." Deanna sat back smugly pretending to polish her nails against her blouse.

**********

      "Enough prancing about ladies. It's time to meet our public." The two centauresses quickly trotted back to stand staring raptly down at Richard.

      "Where shall we go master?" They spoke in unison.

      "Well, I considered Washington D.C., but decided against there; it's too provincial. Then I considered the United Nations complex, but that's in New York City and the people there are so blasé they would probably ignore even us." His hand gestured to include the two centauresses and himself.

      “I similarly ruled out Los Angeles as they'd just think it was a movie publicity stunt, Paris where the people would be too busy arguing about what they were seeing to honor us, Berlin where people would deny what they saw, Moscow where people would be too afraid of the KGB or whatever it's now called to admit what they saw, Calcutta where they'd worship the two of you instead of me, and London where they'd never see us in the fog."

      "Yes, Master. Of course."

      "Italy is supposed to be lovely this time of year. If anyone will recognize the miracle we represent it should be the Pope. We're going to visit the Vatican City." The two centauresses squealed in joy.

**********

      The Pope was at his balcony overlooking Vatican Square offering Mass to the crowd of faithful below when the trio appeared at the far end of the Square. It was a tribute to the intensity of the worshipers about them that they were not initially noticed. Inga led the way parting the crowd and tossing flower petals as she paced toward the Pope. Colleen followed with Richard riding on her back and waving regally to the shocked and rapidly parting crowd.

      About a third of the way to the balcony the Pope's litany stopped mid word and the only sound was of breathing and approaching hoof beats echoing against the surrounding walls. Two-thirds of the way to the balcony even the sound of hoof beats disappeared as the centauresses began to climb through the air on a gentle slope. The flower petals continued falling and were soon fluttering down onto the heads of the gawkers below. They stopped; apparently standing on nothing, with Richard head-to-head with the Pope and less than five feet way.

      "Greetings Your Eminence." Several of the Swiss Guard assigned to protect the Vatican and its occupants tried to move between Richard and the Pope without success. It was as if an unseen wall had been placed between them and the Holy See. "How do you like the show?"

      "Quite impressive, my son. Your companions are remarkably lifelike."

      "That's because they're real. Would you like to be one?"

      "Your generous offer is appreciated, my son, however the duties of my position are such that I must decline at this time. Perhaps I can instead impose upon you to assist those more needy than I?"

      "Sure, why not. They always say charity begins at the home dimension. What would you like me to do?"

      "The world is plagued by demons such as famine, pestilence, and poverty. Anything that can be done to lessen that burden of pain would be most charitable."

      "Fine. Consider it done."

      "Excuse me my son?"

      Richard laughed. "I said it's done. I've done as you asked and eliminated hunger and disease. Poverty is a relative concept and I've provided a one shot resolution. At this moment everyone in the world has enough dollars, rupees, yen, or whatever for a standard of living equal to or greater than that of lower middle class in the United States of America. What they do with their money is their problem." They both turned at a tapping noise from within as a Monsignor approached the Pope walking past the Guards without striking the obstacle still preventing the guards from reaching His Eminence. The Monsignor whispered in the Pope's ear briefly before the Pope turned back to Richard.

      "I have just received a report that everyone in the area seems to have received a large sum of..." Before he could finish he was drowned out by a murmur from the crowd that rapidly grew to a roar. People were dancing about pounding each other on the back. A couple of people were waving their crutches over their heads and another group was pushing a now empty wheelchair back and forth amongst them in a bizarre variation on the game of circle toss.

      "You will similarly find that the recent harvest has been so successful that the Food Pantries of the world will soon be filled to overflowing." Richard smiled at the shocked expression on the Monsignor's face. "And yes, I can hear you whisper."

      "This is a truly amazing feat my son. How, may I ask, have you accomplished it?"

      "Certainly, your Eminence. It was a miracle." Richard was disappointed at the lack of surprise on the Pope's face. "When you've confirmed it I'll be back. Prepare to worship me." Richard and the centauresses disappeared in a rather theatric puff of smoke.

**********

      "We've got to get out of here. I'm going stir crazy." Deanna flounced over to the lime green quilted bed and propped herself up by her elbows. She was wearing nothing more than a bra and panties. Clothes were strewn everywhere.

      "We haven't even figured out what to wear. We can't even leave this apartment until we figure out how to go anywhere without becoming sex crazed bimbos." An exasperated Josef, also in only bra and panties, sat backwards with legs akimbo on the chair by the makeup table. Head down resting on her arms, her wavy golden blonde hair hid her face as it cascaded over the back of the chair. Still frustrated, Josef rose flipping her hair back, and began to pace.

      "We need to find a safe way to get to Richard."

      "No, we need to get dressed."

      "Damn it we need to get to Richard!"

      "No, Josette Rimsky. We need to get dressed. If we don't get dressed we'll be raped by the first man we see whether we want to be raped or not." Deanna smiled knowingly and Josef growled and blinked.

      "Fine. We're dressed. Now can we move on to the problem of reaching Richard?" Josef's pacing found her back by the makeup chair.

      "No."

      "What?" Deanna sighed and dropped down onto the chair again. "Now what?"

      "Ignoring the fact that we need to accessorize, we can't go anywhere without makeup." Deanna stood and walked over to the makeup table. "Oh, and some matching white pumps would go well with the dress. She swirled the lacy white outer material and silken under fabric of the dress' not quite knee length skirt as she examined it. Stepping carefully to avoid scattered articles of clothing Deanna moved back to the full-length mirror by the closet and carefully adjusted the high back collar and plunge neckline. Suddenly she was three and a half inches taller as the requested heels appeared. She quickly reached out to the wall to stabilize herself before falling.

      "And now some makeup. Tasteful please. Just a light touch of blush, mascara, eyeliner, and lipstick." Another self examination. "I think a touch of pale blue eye shadow would complete the makeup nicely."

      "Now can we move on?"

      "A watch, preferably silver ... gold is so splashy, would be nice. And a matching pendant necklace and bracelet." Deanna thought a moment. "You know, a thin ankle bracelet would also be nice."

      Josef blinked. "There. It's done. Now I don't want to hear another word about clothes, makeup, accessories, or anything else. I need your help figuring out how to get to Richard."

      "Okay, but it would be a good idea if you were dressed also." Josef growled and blinked. He was dressed identically to Deanna who immediately began to pout.

      "But we're wearing the identical dress. We can't do that. It's ..." Suddenly no sound was coming from her mouth although her lips continued to move.

      "There will be NO...MORE...DISCUSSION...OF...CLOTHES." Josef spoke through clenched teeth as she stood and walked over to Deanna. Taking her hand Josef led the now compliant Deanna to the living room couch.

      "Sit."

      Deanna sat.

      "Think."

      Deanna thought.

      "How do we safely get to Richard?" In the silence Josef began pacing again. After several moments, Deanna tapped on the coffee table to get Josef's attention and when he turned pointed pleadingly at her mouth.

      "Oh, of course. Do you have any ideas?"

      Deanna sighed, then, with a thankful glance at Josef, she tentatively touched her mouth. "I can speak again. Oh that feels good. Thank you. Thank you."

      "Answer the question," Josef growled, "or you'll have thanked me for nothing." Josef collapsed heavily onto the couch beside Deanna.

      "Yes Josie. Right away." Standing, Deanna attempted to assume the intense domineering stance she had used when lecturing first year students but failed miserably as evidenced by Josef's barely stifled giggle. With an annoyed look she continued.

      "To state the assumptions, we have agreed that we must get to Richard, but that we must do so without being in proximity of any men or you, and possibly we, will be side tracked by an overriding desire for sexual gratification." Josef nodded tiredly.

      "The answer is obvious. First, you must use your abilities to determine where Richard is. Assuming Richard will not come to us we will have to go to Richard. Before going to him however you must determine if there are any other males around. Then you must remove all the men from Richard's presence. You can make them anything but men, I'd prefer no Poodles if I have any say in this, or you can transport them to some other place, I hear the Virgin Islands are especially nice this time of year." Deanna bowed her head as if accepting the accolades of a nonexistent crowd and sauntered back over to the couch and sat, back straight, legs crossed, appearing as dignified as she could. Thunder-struck Josef sat, mouth open, gaping at Deanna, who merely smiled. Finally moving, Josef slapped his head in disgust.

      "I must be an idiot."

      "No." Deanna's hand reached out to comfort her twin. "No. Not an idiot, merely too close to the problem. It's hard to think when you're quaking in fear of seeing a man and having conjugal relations with him."

      "Enough waiting, let's get Richard." Josef sprang to his feet only to be pulled back to the couch by Deanna who had not released her hand.

      "Before we go, may I suggest, considering what we'll do when we reach Richard?"

      "Good point." Josef dejectedly slumped back on the couch, head back, eyes closed.

      "Thank you, and may I also suggest a silver chain link formal purse with shoulder strap." Josef's head shot back up in surprise as Deanna giggled.

**********

 

End -- Part 3 of 4