A Willing Victim
I live and work on this dairy farm with my mom and step dad. Mostly my step dad is more a guru to me than a parent and over the years we have attained a high level of conscious awareness together. My biological father, however, is having his mental problems and mostly I go and live with him to help him out mentally as well as do a little work on the horse farm he owns.

This winter my bio father and I got into an argument and I left the ranch and found an apartment and started doing some part time work at McDonalds to make ends meet. Now I'm a very spiritual person and spend a lot of time meditating. Even at the best of times I don't have a lot of attachment to the material world or what most people call the real world. Then one day I found I couldn't break my" trance like" meditative state and was unable to interact with the reality that used to be me. I could view my real world as though I was looking through a thick distorted glass, but I couldn't make contact with it. Now I was able to overcome my fear of death and stay calm but I felt I was trapped on this astral plane type of existence which made me feel very isolated.

Then I became aware of another presence and when it touched my mind I knew it to be my step dad. He was able to leave the material plane and find me here in never never land. He told me that what was happening to me usually happened to someone just before the soul left the illusion of personality and body behind and reincarnated. He thought in my case I would eventually gain control of my body again without going through the messy process of death. In the meantime he explained that my soul was running my body for the purpose of healing my dad which is what I came here to do. In a sense I was a willing victim. And through his mind I could see what was happening to my body on my material plane of existence.

It seems my bio father and his wife decided that I needed psychatric help and got a lawyer who got a judge to sign a paper allowing my father to come and take me to the funny farm with the help of two policemen.

So for about a week he showed up at my apartment with the two policemen to drag me away to a mental health facility. But I was never there at the same time the police were and I was able to elude being captured for awhile. Then two days later the police found me hiding in a closet and dragged me away complete with handcuffs and leg irons. I sat in front of another judge while my father worked over this second judge to force me to be admitted to the local insane asylum.
So that's where I stayed for a few weeks. Then they diagnosed me schizophrenic and let me go into the loving care of my father.

So I came to live with my bio father. He treated me like his schizophrenic pet. He would leave me in this house, which was being paid for by his boss, all day long with nothing to do and nowhere to go until he returned at night to feed me. Like a said I could go long periods of time meditating but I didn’t feel this situation was taking me down the path toward enlightenment. Through my awareness of the situation I could tell I was being held prisoner here to put pressure on my mom to move back to Massachusetts because my fathers’ boss had the hots for her and he uses his money to manipulate people. Also my father was enjoying sticking it to my mom and step dad for living a life of their own without him. But unfortunately for him I am a karmic mirror in this game which means all the players will end up eating their own karma or reaping what they sow.

Telephone rings. I pick it up to discover my step dad is on the other end.

"Hi sweetheart." I heard his darling voice say over the phone.

"Hi dad." I replied. "I'm amazed you got me, I feel like I'm in solitary confinement here, no calls and no visitors."

'"Well your father is making a big deal of this situation. He's told your mother that in order to relate to you she has to leave me and come live in Massachusetts."

"What a shit head he can be."

"Nevertheless," my dad continued, “You have to get yourself out of there to stop your mothers' pain and shift it onto the people who put this shit sandwich together. I would come and get you myself but that would give the impression that I'm snatching you away and this stupid game will start all over again. Best if you walk out the door, stick out your thumb and trust in God.”

“I’m ready for the exit out of here by any means.” I exclaimed.

“That’s good because there will probably be a lot of resistance to overcome.”

“OK dad, I’m out of here, see you in a few days.” I said with as much conviction as I could muster.

After hanging up the phone I knew I had to make my move right away before I lost my courage. So I went to my fathers’ computer and printed out this picture to let him know how I felt about him after all the stupid crap he put me through.

So I didn’t have much in the way of belongings to take with me on the road from Massachusetts to Pennsylvania, so with a small back pack with a few cloths I left my fathers’ place, never to return I hoped.

Out on the road I started walking in the general direction of Pennsylvania with my thumb out. Now I’m not what one would call beautiful but I am sorta cute in a country kinda way. And it wasn’t long before the first male driver slammed on his brakes and opened up the passenger door for me. He asked where I was going and I told him Pennsylvania and he smiled thinking I was just a crazy chick. I seemed to be getting a lot of this kind of reaction lately. As we drove down the road he started asking me all the usual male questions.

“So honey, are you married or do you have a boy friend?”

I said no to both questions and was afraid his next question was going to be; do you want to have sex? But instead he reached across the front seat and put his hand on my thigh. I said to stop the car cuz this is where I get off. He did stop the car but left the car when I did and grabbed me by the arm. Unfortunately for him I am one tough farm girl and I started man handling him before he could have his way with me.

I did however get a little carried away and when my rage left me I discovered my male antagonist was unconscious. He had a wallet full of money so I helped myself to enough of it to help with my traveling to compensate for the hard time he put me through.

I had read a sign stating that a small town lay up ahead and started walking toward it. I got there late at night and checked into a cheap motel wanting to get cleaned up and have a good night sleep.

I awoke in the morning to a beautiful sunrise shining through the window of my room. Before leaving the motel I took a hot shower, crossed the street to have breakfast at a diner and headed on down the road. I walked a few hours before sticking out my thumb and was starting to think I would never get a ride after about 300 cars sped by. Then finally a car stops and luck is with me when I see there is a woman driving. I get into the car and the lady asks where I’m going and I tell her Pennsylvania.

“Well dear”, she says, “Maybe if your getting tired of dealing with trying to get a ride you could come home with me for awhile and we could visit.”

Since I really was ready to take a break from hitch hiking at this point I said yes that would be fun.

So off we
went until we finally arrived at her farmhouse way out in the middle of
no where.
"So dear, how do you like my place?" she asked me.
"It's really nice." I responded. "Do you live here alone?"
"I don't have a husband, if that's what you're interested in finding
out. I'm kinda more interested in girls than in boys. Does that bother
you?" she wanted to know.
And then before I could answer she took me by the hand and led me into
the bedroom and started to undress me. Then we just started to cuddle until we got eachother excited.

And before long we were on the bed making love when she got behind me and I felt something hard was entering me.
”Oh honey what are you doing to me back there," I moaned.
"You must be able to recognize a penis when it's in you my dear."she
replied.

"Oh my, oh my, whatever it is your doing it's driving me crazy," I
gasped as I began to spasm with my approaching climax.

And so we made love for most of the night before I couldn't stand it
any longer and had to look at the equipment between the legs of my new friend Mary.
“Honey I can't believe your for real.” I moaned. You're the best thing that's come
into my life in a long time. Maybe the Pennsylvania trip can wait for a little while longer.

“So sweetest heart, you have to tell me what it’s like to be a hermaphrodite.” I insisted after we cooled off a little from our love making.

“It’s a long story Sue.” she replied, “But if your really interested I’ll blow you away with the circumstances of my condition.”