Kate Draffen (Chapters 35 + 36)

By Swishy

Michael Taylor was a 17-year-old boy living in a town in Australia. Something happened and he found himself on a path to becoming a 17-year-old girl. This is a story about an ordinary teenager that had something extraordinary happen to him and how he tried to cope.

Gemma goes to a 'boys only night' and prepare for her big night at the Deb.

CHAPTER 35

Even though I had three of a kind it was obvious they were staring at my pair.

I had been taking Annette advice's for the last couple of days and by all accounts it was making me feel a lot better about myself. Although her advice did lead me here, Glen's rumpus room on a Friday night with a table of guys staring at my tits. OK, maybe did my bra was doing a tremendous jobs of lifting them up and pushing them together and my top was doing little to conceal that but the amount of staring made me think the someone was projecting movies onto my tank top.

Annette had prodded me into hanging out with an all male group to see how I would react. In fairness, I had been hanging out with a lot of women (her, Dot, Mum, Nicole, Alana and Lilly) and she thought it would be good for me to get some male company. However considering some of the guys here wouldn't even know I had a head that existed above my boobs, perhaps this wasn't the type of company she was thinking of. It was Glen's semi-regular poker game and aside from me, the only girl in the room, there was Glen, Kev and Glen's two older ogre-like cousins - Simon and Trent 'Ollie' Oliver.

Simon and Ollie made me feel tiny even back when I was a guy. Ollie, 19 years old, was 6'7 and he actually took pills to impede his growth so who knows how much taller he would have ended up. At least Simon, 20, had the decency to be only 6'4. Not only did they block out the sun with their height, they also threatened to throw the earth off its orbit with their colossal weight. Ollie was over 160kgs, he was over three mes! Some of his clothes had to be specially constructed; I say 'constructed' because 'made' doesn't sound as epic enough.

Anyway, the Oliver brothers were Glen's cousins and for some reason he quite liked them. Only having two bratty, much younger cousins who I never saw anyway, I never saw the appeal of cousins. But Glen's extended family were very close so I guess his liking of his cousins is to be expected. Although I'm pretty sure most of his friendship is the residue of him being 7 and really enjoying going to their farm to ride on their Peewee motorbikes. But those days were long past and the Oliver brothers were jerks. Rev-head, lecherous, slow-witted, ogre-looking jerks. Jerks who were staring at my bountiful chest.

Glen's semi-regular poker game was something he had started last year. Sure the popularity of poker was on the wane but Glen was never a slave to trends, or more accurately he was a slave to trends but one who was much too slow to keep up with a slave-master. Sometimes we played twice a week and other times months would pass between games. Glen was never the greatest leader. The rules were easy:

Rule 1) Everybody put $10 in

Rule 2) Whoever won all the chips at the end got all the money

and
Rule 3) No girls.

I think the 'no girls' rule was so that we could bitch about Dot but it also gave the Oliver Brothers and Kev a chance to see who could be the most misogynistic. I had never heard as many different words for vaginas in my life compare to when I was in Glen's rumpus room. But suddenly coming face to face with the new me, a creature possessing a 'hairy axe wound' had temporarily silenced the room.

I gleefully scooped up the winnings, painfully aware of the cleavage I was displaying while collecting my chips. "Thank you gentlemen," I teased my fellow players as I had won a particularly large pot, "I will add this to the pile." It really didn't seem fair that I was about to win $50, considering my vast wealth already.

"So, any word on when you will come back to school?" asked Kev. It was Friday and I had missed the whole week and since I was in Sydney for half of the week before school was becoming a distant memory.

"Yeah, I'll be back on Monday," I chirped. Annette was really doing a nice job with me. Everyday I was getting a little more confident in my own skin and I was feeling less and less morose. I don't know if it was me or if it was her but suddenly I didn't find her patronising, she really seemed to want to help me. Life was getting better everyday.

The boys had nicely lifted the 'no girls' rule for me to join them in their game. I guess having been a boy for 17 years was enough for them. The game was enjoyable even if the conversation felt a little stilted. Being a girl had changed every single relationship I had with people. Nobody treated me the same and try as I might I couldn't help but notice. "I think I might put the air con on," Glen said, "Gemma, are you hot? …I mean is it too stuffy in here for you?"

"It's OK," I shrugged. Glen had become my little protector as soon as I had stepped into his house — offering me drinks, giving me the comfy chair, getting me some fruit when I asked for it. He never used to do that sort of stuff for me before and we were best friends. He was so courteous now that I was almost surprised that he didn't pull out my chair for me to sit down.

Kev was still Kev. He was still a total perv but at least he was a harmless perv. With Kev you knew he was mentally undressing you but he'd be doing it to any girl sitting in front of him so I never felt threatened. He looked pretty hot with his bulging muscles and his cheeky smile. He was much too sleazy to actually date but he was fun to look at.

That was one of the things that still freaked me out; finding boys I know attractive. It was a surprise every time it happened — I'd look at a guy I knew, something inside of me would speak up and I would suddenly see him in a totally different way. Luckily I didn't find either one of the Oliver brothers attractive, not one bit.

"Bought your magazine today, Gemma," Kev told me, "The pictures are great!"

"You bought Dolly magazine?" I asked in wry disbelief. Actually I was just teasing. The Dolly magazine with yours truly on the cover was selling really well here in Marrang, mostly because everyone knows me. But I did get an email from Jan, my editor saying that sales were really, really good everywhere else too.

"Because you are on the front cover! I don't do it every month! The pics on the beach are really hot!" I know there's a lot of exclamation marks there but that's how Kev talks, like every sentence is more important than the last.

I gently ignored the 'hot' comment, "Yeah, I was really happy with how it all turned out. Did you read the article or my column yet?"

"Umm…," Kev scrambled for an excuse but faltered, "Not yet."

"You just read Dolly for the pictures?" I teased him with a cheeky smile.

"Give me a break, Gem! I just bought it a few hours ago and had a quick flick through." Glen asked Kev if he brought it with him and Kev grabbed his bag and threw Glen the copy. I watched my big grinning face go flying past me through the air. Although Mum had bought like five copies I had successfully avoided it. Was I curious? Of course I was, I wanted to know what pictures they used and how much retouching they did. Was I embarrassed beyond the point of mortification? Oh yeah.

"Whoa! Looking good!" Glen proclaimed, "I mean, you look like a real model." I don't know what he expected to see.

"Modelling isn't that hard," I said modestly, "It's all about being put in weird positions and pretending that it's normal and comfortable."

"Wow... you got to play with puppies!"

I laughed as I remembered the fun I had with those little lovable balls of fluff, "Yeah I did."

"Hey ladies, are we here to read Dolly magazine or play poker?" snorted one of the brothers. It appeared he was not interested in Dolly's '41 beauty tricks for cheap'.

Glen put the magazine to one side and started dealing. The brother's eagerness to play poker had assuredly drained the room of the jovial mood. I absentmindedly adjusted my bra strap and look at my cards. Along with the rest of the world we played Texas Hold 'em so I only had two cards to examine. I never really took the game too seriously, it was just a good chance to chat with Glen and Kev, however as Gemma I always found myself to be a lot more competitive, especially when I am competing with a couple of girl-hating ogres.

"So Michael," I gritted my teeth upon hearing Simon use my old name, "or whatever your name is now, what's life like without a dick?"

"Why don't you tell me?" I snapped back right away. It was childish but it got a laugh but not from Simon, of course. He blushed a little by being trounced by a girl so quickly.

"Nah, I'm serious. It must be weird being a girl and all." OK, so although he was all types of offensive he was actually more curious than insulting. I had come across this behaviour before, guys who were actually interested in my story but had trouble trying to relate to me. He was still a chauvinistic dope though.

"Umm… it's not that bad, actually I'm kinda liking it," I summarised my entire experience with one short sentence. And you know what? That's a pretty accurate description, I was enjoying being a girl. I blew a bubble with the gum I was chewing and looked at my cards.

"Better than being a dude?" Simon asked.

"Not better," I reposed, "Just different."

The more massive of the two brothers, Ollie spoke up, "If I got Pussy Envy, I doubt I'd be able to cope, I'd have to kill myself. No way would I be able to walk around with boobs."

Glen leapt to my defence. It was interesting to watch him slowly get more and more riled up as his cousins embarrassed him. "Dude," launched Glen, "You've got man-boobs! Fuck, they're bigger than Gemma's! Just shut up and play cards!" In Ollie's defence, they were fairly big man-boobs but they didn't compare to the melons I lug around.

The game continued as the silence hung painfully in the air. This wasn't the fun 'guys only' night I had expected. The fact I was a girl changed everything, instead of teasing me, Glen acted as my protector and the Oliver brothers now seemed scary and huge instead of stupid and huge. Maybe I couldn't do 'guys only' things anymore or maybe these were just the wrong guys to do it with. I smacked my gum and wished I were somewhere else.

"So are you a lesbian?" asked Ollie.

Before I could answer (not that I really wanted to) the pimpled man beside him spoke up, "It said on the TV that her sexuality changed, you saw that!"

Ollie wasn't having any of that, "So what, Simon? TV isn't always right. I find it hard to believe that nanobots could make someone start lusting after dudes."

"Well, that's what happened. Lost my sex drive for a week, when it came back it was going the other direction. I mean look at you boys," I teased, "What's not to like?" Surrounding me were some of the sweatiest, fattest, most oily, nerdiest boys I had ever come in contact with, the only one I was mildly attracted to was Kev and his muscled body but I'd never tell him that. It was reassuring that my lust for men knew some bounds.

Specks of Doritos flew through the air as Ollie spoke, "Then I bet you were a closet gay before you changed."

Being called gay is an insult where I come from. I don't know why and I don't know why I get annoyed when someone supposes I am or was gay. I guess years of primary school and secondary school taunts of being gay just sort of meld into a ball of unpleasant memories and even though the concept of being gay doesn't bother me at all, the word just has a nasty tinge. "No," I say adjusting that damn bra strap, "I wasn't gay in the slightest, just like now. Girls don't appeal to me at all."

A slimy grin dripped onto Ollie face, his yellowing teeth greeting the crowd gathered in Glen's rumpus room. "So you need a big old cock to satisfy you?" he said, as if all he needed to do next was offer his and I would pull down my panties and hitch up my skirt and let him 'satisfy' me. I was not comfortable here. I was a girl. I was small. I was vulnerable. While I knew I was safe, it didn't make me feel any safer around the massive lumps of men that were the Oliver brothers. They were huge and I wouldn't be able to protect myself from them if they tried to overpower me. Were they going to overpower me? Probably not, they were dickheads but they weren't that horrible. But being around them made me think that someone their size could, and I wouldn't be able to stop them.

So, it wouldn't surprise you that when Kev offered to walk me home I agreed. With sex a permanent fixture in his mind I wasn't surprised by the comment, "You're walking more like a girl. I mean your arse sways when you walk." Recently, I had been practising a 'sexy walk' for no other reason than it made me laugh but I wasn't utilizing my 'sexy walk', this was just normal walking he was commenting on.

"I walk like a girl because… shock horror… I am one," some people needed a little reminding now and again.

"I know that but is that walk an affectation or is it real?"

I thought for a second as I walked, maybe my walk had become more womanly; it was probably because I was finally feeling good about myself. "I think it's real."

A street light flickered and the crickets were on page 40 of their symphony tonight. I felt safe with Kev beside me. "And why are you wearing a skirt?" he asked. I knew it was only a matter of time before brought up me wearing a skirt and I was actually surprised that it took someone this long.

"Because I'm becoming the girl I want to be and I'm not letting anyone dictate what is right for me," I stated. Well, it was less my statement and more a direct parroting of what my psychologist, Annette, had been drumming into my head all week. I didn't need to feel pressures from anyone to act a certain way, I can be whoever I want to be. I saw the nice, long, summery dress hanging in my wardrobe and I felt like putting it on. I liked the way it swished around my legs as I walk. I liked the way it almost covered as much legs as my trousers and yet it was so breezy. I liked my skirt and no longer felt any shame about it.

"So, it's true. You actually factually like being a girl, don't you?" Kev asked me.

"It's complicated. Gender isn't my whole world and just because…" I couldn't be bothered finishing my rehearsed answer anymore, "What the hell! I do like it. Kev, being a girl is kinda fun," my hand went to my shoulder to adjust an errant bra strap, "Except for this fucking bra strap! Stop slipping down already!"

"Wow, take a chill pill, Gem."

"This damn bra strap has been annoying me all night!" I said, admonishing my bra.

Kev suggested, "Take it off"

"Ha Ha," I laughed sarcastically, "Fat chance!"

The weather was nice and warm as we walked. Perhaps this summer had decided to never give up and never surrender to winter and his crony, autumn. I hoped that was the case because I didn't like autumn at all and had even less fondness for winter. Winter would tease me, leaving the beach just outside my back door but keeping the weather chilly enough to much swimming a fool's game. Not saying that I wasn't a fool, just I preferred when swimming wasn't such a challenge.

I looked over at Kev, his strong biceps aglow underneath the unnatural light of the streetlights. Like his brother, Kev was a good-looking boy, from well-bred, upper-class stock. I felt safe walking beside him, but not as safe as I would be wrapped in his manly arms. When thoughts like that whizzed through my brain I knew that I had one too many mixed drinks. "Gemma, I'm going to make you a little proposition," Kev said confidently, like he was trying to sell me real estate, "You don't have to answer right away but I want you to think about it. Since you are finally enjoying your new gender, I was wondering if your sexual urges get to strong and you need someone to…"

"I'm not going to have sex with you, Kevin Madden,"

He shrugged, "It was worth a shot." His mood didn't change one bit; rejection did not deter this man at all.

"Well, I'll give you points for trying," I smiled as I gave him a squeeze on his shoulders.

Kev was unstoppable. "Are those points redeemable for sexual favours?" he asked with that unmovable glint in his eye.

I sighed, I really wanted Kev to get laid but I wasn't going to be the girl to take the bullet for our gender. "Kev, you're a good looking guy. I am sure there are other girls out there who would be willing to have sex with you."

"I guess so," Kev sighed, with an air of defeat, "I just thought since you used to be a guy you'd understand that guys want sex without going through with all the romance stuff. I mean, it's not like your not going to get any enjoyment out of it."

It was an interesting way to look at sex, as just a pleasurable but ultimately harmless entanglement of two people's genitals. I must admit, I had thought of sex in such a way when I was guy, but now things were different. "Yeah, but sex is very personal thing for girls. For you, you're just pushing yourself into someone. But girls have to allow someone inside of our special area. I now get why girls are so picky about sex."

"Plus babies," Kev added.

I cringed at hearing the 'b' word. "Oh yeah, that too. No way am I planning of having a baby anytime soon."

"But you want one eventually?" Kev asked thoughtfully.

I imagined a world where I was pregnant. It seemed a far off and peculiar world, but much more clearer now that I had a working uterus. Babies were scary and I had brushed off thoughts of children ever since I had the equipment to build one. "Umm… maybe, I don't know. Being a girl has allowed me to really connect with Mum and I'd like that sort of relationship one day, I think, with my own daughter or something." The baby world suddenly came into sharp focus and I saw myself as very happy with a little baby girl on my knee until I pictured how it got to be there, "I don't know, I get all maternal sometimes and then I look down below and the idea of giving birth freaks me way out. I've seen newborns and they are much, much bigger than my … you know. Don't think about my 'you know', you pervert!"

Kev looked hurt, "Gemma, we were having a sweet moment, talking about your Mum. I'm not always thinking about dirty things." I knew he was picturing my pussy, I just had no way to prove it.

The banality of our little city's landscape was beautified by the sound of crashing waves nearby. That's what made living in Marrnag not only bearable but enjoyable, knowing that most people had to set aside a whole special day for 'a day at the beach' meanwhile all we had to do is turn left at the end of the street. I would miss this place when I left.

"I realised something tonight," Kev said, clearly not thinking about the beach as much as I was.

"What's that?"

He talked matter-a-factly, as if he had just made a scientific discovery, "You're not one of the guys anymore. You really changed the mood of the game tonight. It's really hard to talk about girls when there is one in the room, even though we all know you used to be a guy."

It hurt to hear that, even though I had come to the same conclusion. I didn't feel like 'one of the guys' anymore, and why the explanation of why seemed simple, I think it was a lot more complicated than my vagina. "What about Dot?" I said to Kev but also to myself, "You seem very able to talk about girls in front of her."

"She's different, you forget she's a girl," Kev replied, "But you're sitting there cross-legged, in your skirt and you're giggling and you smell like a girl. It's off putting how girly you are. Dot is just Dot. Don't take this the wrong way," warned Kev, "But I think you are more girly than Dot."

I looked down at my fashionable, female clothes. "I should hope so," I laughed, "Look, I'm just trying to be the person I am inside and it looks like I'm not a 'one of the boys' girl. It's mildly upsetting but I don't think I was much of a 'one of the boys' boy anyway."

"Good point," Kev smiled. He got it.

We cut through the park, it cut a lot off our walk and I would have thought nothing of it before. But now every large tree looked like a hiding spot for a rapist and every hedge a home to a murderer. I walked a little closer to Kev, as if a foot closer to him would be the difference between raped and totally fine. If I wasn't a teenager and thus very concerned with looking cool I might have held Kev's hand. "Thanks for walking me home, Kev," I told him and meant it.

"It's only a little bit out of the way," he said, obviously not noticed the fear in my voice and the fact I was now whiter than the suburban picket fences surrounding us.

I looked up at Kev. Man, I was even shorter than I thought! "I know but you make me feel safer. It wasn't until I came face-to-face with Glen's cousins that I realised how puny and helpless I am. I mean, it wasn't face-to-face, more face-to-knee. Look at these muscles, Kev," I flexed my stick-thin arm and no discernable muscle appeared, "I've got nothing."

Given the fact that Kev will usually flex his arms whenever given the opportunity, I am impressed that he didn't feel the need to compete with a girl half his size to see who has the biggest muscles. Instead, he plays the chivalry card, hard, "Well, I'll protect you milady."

"No real need to," I told my noble, if a little dim-witted knight, "That's my house there."

"So it is," he said.

I gave him a quick hug as a thank you and said, "Good night, dude."

"Sweet dreams, Gem," Kev wished, but Kev couldn't go that long without mentioning sex so the last thing I heard as I walked down my steep driveway was, "The offer still stands by the way."

CHAPTER 36

Annette's counselling had done something to me. Every morning when I woke up I felt positively charged. I almost bound out of bed, I sing in the shower and chatter pleasantly over a light breakfast, then it's time for a quick dip in the ocean before a shower. What a wonderful start to the day! I turned off the taps and the old pipes groaned in pain. I shook myself dry like a dog and laughed as my boobs wobbled uncontrollably. I then squeezed them and rubbed them together as if I was prepping two defibrillator paddles. I looked down at my cavernous cleavage, even after all this time I was still impressed with my bust. "Echooooo!….Echoo!…Echo!" I called out.

I looked at my selected outfit for the day and pulled on some panties. Panties were weird, they weren't much more than a scrap of material. I know girls (me included) don't have much to cover down there, but I was always surprised how small my panties really were. Almost not worth wearing. My jeans also seemed to be made out of little more than scraps because I had to jump up and down and wriggle. If I had to blame anything it would be my rounded, well-padded rear, because as soon as it got past my buttocks it fit fine around my tiny waist. But in defence of my bum it look particularity nice squeezed into the jeans.

The top I threw on was cute too. Cute, without being too trashy. It was like a loose boob-tube, elastic around my chest just bellow my armpits, nice flowing cream material and then elastic just above my belly button. Since I didn't want a bra strap showing or anything, I went braless. I know, I'm such a rebel! I even removed my studs for the first time and carefully put on some simple silver hoop earrings. My make up skills were getting fairly good, although I always opted for the less is more model.

Why was I spending so much time on looking good and at the same time, very casual?

"Hi Gemma," Aaron said as I opened the door for him. He was sweaty because he had ridden his bike all the way here and he probably pushed himself hard.

"Ready to dance?" he asked me. Aaron had arrived to catch me up on all the Deb practises I had missed out on. For weeks, while I was away in Sydney and away in depression, he had been dutifully dancing with himself so that he could help me catch up when I came back. And here he was his incredible Greek body (well, half Greek) glistening with sweat. From the look of his arms he could lift me over his head easily and I wanted to go on that ride. I knew that he was going out with one of my best friends, Lilly and I knew that Tyler and I were going through something together but Aaron was my first crush and I would always feel something for him.

I ushered the cute guy inside, his manly musk tickled my nose in a pleasant way. "Don't you want to sit down for a while first? Have a drink? You look puffed."

"Yeah," he confessed, dropping his macho act slightly and wheezing.

"We've got water and we've got orange juice," I called from an open fridge, "But that's about it." Even though we were rich, our fridge was still rather barren. The juice wasn't even a decent brand, it was a cheapo one. I guess old habits die hard.

"Water would be great."

I poured him a glass of water and plonked two ice cubes in for good measure, classy I know. Aaron accepted it gracefully and gently sipped it as he sat on our couch. "Wow, I forget about your giant arse TV," he gestured to the odd-item-out in our lounge room, a huge state-of-the-art wide-screen TV.

"A little overdone, perhaps but how else are we supposed celebrate our new found wealth?" I shrugged. He laughed they way proper friends do. "So how is Lilly going? She said that you two were going on a date together last night." Lilly was teaching me one of the key tenets of being a girl — talking on the phone for an exorbitant amount of time. I knew precisely what she wore on the date, mainly because I had to convince her that purple looks good against her Eurasian complexion. I also know that she would allow him to touch her boobs underneath the bra and even let a rouge hand down her panties, whether Aaron took advantage of that I didn't know.

"The date was good, actually. Not sure if she likes the exact same type of movies as me, but that's OK, I'll bite the bullet and hire popcorn flicks with her and watch the Arthouse ones by myself." I wanted to tell him that I'd happily watch Arthouse movies with him but didn't want to break the girl rules by flirting with another girl's boy. I had my own boyfriend, sort of. A sexy, funny, strong guy who continues to claim that our relationship is a long string of one-time-only events. Aaron was every bit as stable as Tyler was skittish.

"Lilly really likes you. I shouldn't be saying that but I know guys want a peek behind the curtain of 'Girl world'. Also she thinks your best feature is you cheek bones and she thinks you slobber just a little bit too much when you kiss."

"Duly noted," Aaron said and gave me a warm smile, "I like her, you know? She's my first girlfriend and I was really scared about dating an A-girl. Every guy in school want to go out with you A-girls and suddenly one of them wants to go out with me, it's pretty daunting. I'm so used to being the 'friend' to girls that I didn't know if I could even be a boyfriend."

"Well, you seem to be doing a good job."

"Thanks. That was one of my motivations when I was working out continuously; to get a body that would get me noticed by girls. I guess all that work paid off, huh?" Aaron's dramatic transformation from fat guy to hot guy was almost as surprising as my change. It would have been absurd to think last year that Aaron and I would end up being two of the most attractive people in our year level.

"Looks like it," I smiled.

Aaron leaned toward me. "I know all girls say they love a guy with a sense of humour but what they really mean is a hot guy with a sense of humour. I was just as funny when I was fat."

That seemed a little unfair to me. Lilly maybe be a little shallow but she was one of the nicest girls I had ever met. She always looked after me. "OK, fair enough but you're the one dating Lilly, one of the prettiest not one of the funniest girls in school, so you can't say looks aren't super important to you too."

"Ouch! Good point, I am shallow," Aaron hung his head in defeat, "But it's not like Lilly isn't a great girl, she is. She's fantastic and I love spending time with here. So there!" It was nice seeing Aaron be so honest about his feelings. Even though I think we would have made a great couple (at least a damn fine looking couple) I was happy to see how much he actually liked Lilly.

"I know she's great. She's one of my best friends. But you're not here to talk about her, you're here to teach me to dance!"

I tired to be a good student and for the most part I was. Our lounge room was much too small for proper dancing and we kept bumping into our couch or bookcase. But with the help with an extra long extension cable we were able to relocate to a much more open area — outside. "Wow! Nice backyard, Taylor," Aaron surveyed the small patch of grass that turned into the beach.

Dancing outside wasn't completely problem free, beach walkers could see us, the flies seemed to want to join in and the sun was relentless, but other than that it was very pleasant. Aaron caught me up on the routines, telling me directly what to do and holding me very close as we danced. I felt like such a girl, being held tight against my partner, one tiny hand enclosed in his, the other rest on his shoulder. Plus he was leading, a massive sign that I was the female in this duo (also a sign I had missed too many rehearsals).

"No, your left, not my left." We spent as much time laughing as we spent dancing. He would stand on my foot, I'd go to do the wrong move at the wrong time or he'd make up silly lyrics to the dinky old songs we had to dance to. Aaron was a great companion and a great dance partner. It would be a lie to say that one great reason to dance with him was his ripped body. I could get as close to it as possible and there was nothing wrong with that. I'm sure he got a thrill from me pushing up against him too, the chemistry was palpable. But being the nice guy that he is he didn't try and cheat on Lily, even though I am sure you caught me taking lusty gazes at him once of twice.

After only an hour or two, he proclaimed, "Well, not only are we up to date, I'm pretty sure we're better than most."

I thought about the other couples at the Deb. Only one couple did I think we were in direct competition with, "How about Holly Morissey and Trent Sobey?" How Holly had treated me, calling me 'a selfish and self-absorbed thing' on TV, had not faded from my mind. There were a lot of people in the world who thought I was a freak but Holly's opinion of me hurt the worst.

"Morissey and Sobey suck!" Aaron gleefully informed me, "I mean, Holly can dance but she's practically dragging that caveman around. Plus no one's talked to her since her little TV appearance. Nobody thinks that you should be barred from the Deb Ball except for her and Donna and Tracy, so everyone a little cold towards them."

"That's sad," I said and I meant it. Holly wasn't a horrible person; she just didn't think I was a real girl, always saw me as a freak, from day one. She tried to reach out to me which was a lot more than most people that wanted me burned at the stake but she just couldn't see me as the girl I now am. Hell, even I couldn't get used to it until earlier this week.

"That's enough dancing for one day. Wanna go for a swim?" I asked Aaron excitedly.

He looked at the glistening ocean with hunger. "I didn't bring any togs," he bemoaned, "I didn't know you guys lived right on the beach."

"Just wear your jocks," I suggested in a 'don't be such a sook' voice.

Aaron pulled back the elastic waistband in his pants and inspected his underwear. "Yeah," he thought out loud, "I could get away with these."

"OK, come inside, help yourself to a drink," I spluttered like an excited 8-year-old organizing their first sleep over, "I'll run to my room and get changed in like two minutes, capiche?"

"Sounds good to me."

Black one-piece or pink bikini? It had never been a question before. I had always worn my black one-piece, except for that one time I couldn't pack it in my backpack because it was wet. That was the only time I had chosen to wear the small, revealing, and utterly feminine swimming outfit. But I was now proud of my body, Annette had taught me not to be ashamed of my gifts. I could easily squeeze into the bikini and feel proud of what I was putting on display but the black one-piece was a comfortable and modest alternative. Well, it wasn't that comfortable, it was a little snug in the chest and it was next to impossible to take off when wet.

The real question was: Do I want Aaron to think about having sex with me? That's what the pink two-piece seemed to be designed for, it cleverly highlighted my sexy areas at the same time of covering them. He is a big boy, I thought, he could handle a little bit of overt sexuality. God know I have to watch him without his shirt on. My loving big sister Nicole chose this bikini for me the first time we went shopping together, I never though I would ever feel comfortable putting it on but I actually got a thrill from pulling up the tight pink material over my flat female crotch. My eyes bulged when I looked at my hindquarters in the mirror, I didn't know it was cut so high on my bum. Ah well, caution to the wind!

"Hey loser, let's go!" I teased Aaron as I threw him a beach towel. He caught it and sprang for my couch, like he had been waiting for this moment his whole life. That's one of Aaron's best qualities, he boundless enthusiasm. I had discovered that the best way to look sexy was not to prance around like I was the nanobots gift to men or to hide myself behind my towel, sexy was casual confidence or at least feigning casual confidence.

I felt Aaron's eyes on my body, just for second. He was too much of a gentleman to stare slack jawed at me but I did see the excited look in his eyes. Lilly was very beautiful and exotic looking but she didn't have the base 'tits and ass' sex appeal as this body did. Aaron's eyes gently examined my tight tummy and slowly rose up to my cleavage where they rolled around merrily. Perhaps in an effort to quell his ogling or perhaps the lure of the sea was just too much, Aaron bolted outside and towards the water.

My boobs bounced chaotically as I ran after the super excited Aaron. "Stop!" I squealed in a pitch that was probably too high for him to hear, "I can't run!" Protectively, my hands reached up to act as a temporary bra, allowing me to pick up a little speed. By the time I had reached him Aaron had already laid out his towel and was in the process to revealing his tight torso to the world. I took a sharp breath of surprise, he was totally ripped! Next he timidly and cautiously took down his shorts, reveal his grey jocks. They were obviously not bathers and clearly a tight pair of cotton boxer briefs. As he stood up I secretly tried to admire his bulge. It seemed like he was gifted there as well and I was filled with a longing. He was going to make Lilly a very happy woman eventually.

The water was cool and the company cooler. Aaron was a great guy who was friendly without being pervy and handsome without being conceited. Our affable, playful little romp made me forget I was wearing a Boner-Factory bikini and I actually probably exhibited some casual confidence without faking it. He splashed me. "Ah!" I squealed and threw a handful of water back in retaliation. And the ensuing battle continued to escalate as he then splashed me back, it hit me on the chest causing my nipples to swell up. I didn't care that he could see my nipples through the flimsy pink material because I could see his easily, on his manly chest. I pushed him over, head first into an oncoming wave, the feverous sea froth crashing down on Aaron.

He came up out of the water, coughing and spluttering with revenge on the brain. I saw the look in his eyes and squealed and tried to run away. Aaron's stride was much bigger than me and caught me very quickly. He leapt into the sea, grabbing me in the process. We became a tangle of appendages, arms, legs, heads all intertwining. The wind was knocked out of my sails in all of the thrashing and I couldn't breath. When I can't breath, especially underwater, I always panic. My only goal was to get my mouth above the water so that I could breath but my plan involved splashing around madly and squealing. Luckily, Aaron did not mistake my flailing about for an invite to play and saw it as a desperate clawing to safety. He easily picked me up and rubbed my back, calming me enough to breath.

"It's OK," he said gently, "You're safe!"

It annoyed me that he probably thought he was a stronger swimmer than I was. I was a much better swimmer, it was the fact the one of his rogue appendages had knocked the wind out of me had caused me to panic. I hugged my savoir/potential drowner tightly as I took short, shallow breaths. I felt tiny as I clutched his massive body. I looked up at his dreamy large brown eyes and enjoyed the feeling of being helpless, for just a second. If he let me, I would live in Aaron's arms.

I suddenly realised where I was — comfortable in the manly arms of one of my best friends' boyfriends. I wriggled free with a, "I'm OK! I'm OK!" and made sure he was at least an arm's length away, there was no ways our lips would touch by accident. It was touch-and-go for a second there. I was missing Tyler, my boyfriend who isn't really my boyfriend and Aaron looked absolutely delicious. I took another step back so that I couldn't grab Aaron at all. "I'm OK!" I repeated.

"Uhh, Gemma…" Aaron pointed at his chest, well-formed and nice-and-hairy. On his command, I checked it out, his fanatical workouts had turned him into a picture of good health, a true stallion. I had been ogling his gorgeous body for ages now so I was a little unsure why he would be pointing at it. "Gemma," he repeated, again gesturing at his chest. It was something to be very proud of, but his incessant pointing seemed arrogant. Maybe he wasn't the sensitive sweetheart with less ego than body fat. "Gemma," was he repeated message but the gesture was different this time around.

He was pointing at my chest.

I craned my look down and saw boobs.

My boobs.

Totally uncovered.

Rolling and wrestling in the water must have made my bikini top fly off. Hastily, I 'hand-bra'ed myself, a hand over each nipple and blushed a whole new shade of red. I looked around, our house was a fair way from the main beach so that meant it was usually pretty secluded. But knowing my luck and whole team of endurance swimmers would be swimming by to catch a glimpse Gemma Taylor in the all together. Luckily, it appeared we were alone.

"My top!" I squealed, my voice drenched in embarrassment. My head swivelled madly, searching the ocean for a thin piece of pink material. Since I had spent so long coughing up water my swimsuit could have drifted anywhere. A week ago I would have panicked, perhaps even cried here in the middle of the sea. But I was a new Gemma Taylor, confident in whom she is. No need to cry over spilt breasts.

"You owe my a new top!" I said, still cupping my boobs.

"Yes, yes, yes. I'm so sorry. I can't see it anywhere," Aaron looked around like a mad man.

"Deep breaths, Aaron. It's OK," I said, "It's nothing. Just a silly top. If this was Europe I wouldn't even wear one, I guess." I was still a little sheepish; making sure my hands covered both nipples.

Aaron faced the shore and took a few fleeting steps towards it, "So, that cuts short our little swim."

"We just got here!" I complained, "Look dude, I'm not going to let a little thing like a missing top stop our little swim. Aaron, look at me." I slowly let my hands drop to my sides, unleashing the twins to yet another pair of men's eyes. "They're just boobs. You've got the net, I'm sure you've seen boobs before." He laughed nervously. It was cute to see the confidence knocked out of him and to see him revert back to the shy chubby kid. "Whoooo! Girls gone wild!" I mock-hollered, raising my hands in the air and letting my round, fleshy globes wobble in the air. Aaron laughed, he must have seen the same late night ads.

I must confess, having boobs was still a novelty to me; they were always right there, they felt nice to rub and guys loved them. They wobbled about whenever I moved and they made a large indent to any clothes that tried to cover them up. I used be to 17-year-old boy and was utterly obsessed with boobs, so that probably explained my fascination. It's like giving an 8-year-old boy his own dinosaur; the novelty isn't going to wear off for a long time.

Splash! I threw myself back into the water and swam further out, deeper and deeper until I couldn't touch the bottom anymore. Aaron followed, thrashing around madly. He wasn't the best swimmer but he was enthusiastic. He treaded water, while I stretched out and floated on my back. I giggled as my boobs floated, with these babies I would never sink. It was like having two buoys attached to my chest. We were past where the waves break so we simply bobbed up and down with each swell.

"This is great," Aaron sounded so relaxed, "I really should go swimming more often."

"You are just saying that because there's a topless girl next to you," I said as a large swell quickly lifted us up and back down again.

Aaron made reference to my previous life; "It's so not fair you've tremendous insight in a guy's mind! You know exactly how to read me." Guys usually never mention that I used to be a guy, especially ones who are attracted to me. I think they like to block it out, imagine that I always was a girl.

"Oh yeah, guys love boobs - that takes a huge insight."

He swam towards me, "You don't feel like a guy anymore, do you?"

We mutually started heading back to shore. "No, not at all. I mean, I miss it sometimes but I don't look, feel or think like a guy at all anymore. I'm content being a girl."

"You should know that you're an excellent girl. I don't know many girls that would swim with me topless." We were in shallow enough that walking was easier than swimming, so we stood up. My majestic orbs topped with nipples swung in the air.

"So what? You're topless too! The only difference between our chests is that, mine is large and fatty to store milk and yours…" As I said 'yours' I gripped his pecs in my tiny hands. He was so fit and I almost melted just by feeling his strength underneath my palms, "yours doesn't have an once of fat at all."

Now, I don't know how it happened but we kissed. I've replayed in my mind a hundred times — I gently stroked his chest, Aaron turned and looked at me, I chuckled nervously, he wrapped his hands around my shoulders, and we kissed. Hate me for it, I know I do. I wasn't supposed to kiss him, he was clearly Lilly's boyfriend. He knew it and so did I but our tongues acted like they had never heard anything about it.

This kiss broke off and we were finally free from the embrace. But as if our lips were magnets we were dragged back, locking our mouths sensually together. Aaron was cheating on Lilly and I was kinda cheating on my 'not really' boyfriend, Tyler. Ever since becoming a beautiful girl, life had become so much more romantic. As Michael I could only dream of kissing a hottie while waves crashed around us. As Gemma, it almost seemed like business as usual.

"God Gemma, you are so hot," he sighed as we touched foreheads but not lips. I stared into his wonderful dark eyes and could see myself. I could see our relationship too, laughing, teasing each other, hugging, kissing. It was so much less complicated than my relationship with Tyler. Just a boy and a girl.

And Lilly.

The ocean seemed to go quiet, the waves stopped crashing and the wind came to an abrupt stop. It's as if Mother Nature was waiting to see what I would do next. "You're cheating on Lilly."

"I know, I didn't mean for this to happen," his masculine arms let go of me, "It's just I didn't know that you could feel that way about me and I guess I was just surprised. I think you're wonderful…"

"I'd say you're wonderful too but we're hurting Lilly. That doesn't make either one of us very wonderful." I felt what I had said. Ever since the transformation I have had scores of people tell me how brave/sincere/wonderful I was and I think I had let a little bit of that go to my head. I was only human and thus, prone to mistakes. I had a lot of lessons to learn about being a girl and some of them had to be learnt the hard way.

"No, it doesn't," Aaron looked straight ahead, avoiding looking my in my eyes or at my boobs, "It was just a silly little mistake, I was surprised you were attracted to me…"

Aaron had always been my first crush, so it was a little heartening to hear him say that. "And vice-versa."

Now that our resentment was known, it was onto the plan. Aaron stated meekly, "I think telling Lilly would be as foolish as the kiss."

The logic behind his comment seemed to be of the 'what she doesn't know, can't hurt her' school of thought. It perhaps wasn't the best way of dealing with this problem, but it was certainly one of the easiest. "It may be the residue of my guy mind but I whole heartedly agree."

The agreement sank in and we silent walked back. My nudity was no longer flirty and fun but a reminder of how we let our libidos take control. We silently collected our towels. I wrapped mine around my chest, tucking it into my cleavage. And when we sauntered back towards the house. I hated how silent we were.

"Aaron, it was just a tiny mistake. It's not going to mess up our friendship, please? I mean, you're like one of my best guy friends and I really need you."

"I'll try not to make things weird as long as you don't," Aaron stated, "Just please for my sake, next time wear a top."

I let my eyes play over his handsome sculpted body. "Same goes for you, hunky!"

I slid open our back door and we stepped into our lounge room.

"Gemma, forgot we had a little meeting did you? I tried calling you but your phone was in your room," said a voice.

I suddenly blushed a deep crimson, and was amazed there was enough blood in my system to answer, "Sorry Mum. Must have slipped my mind." An awkward moment hung in the air like a blimp. I looked at the room, I thought the best way to deflect attention from me was to introduce people. "Ms. Cross, this is Aaron, he's my Deb partner. Aaron, this is Victoria Cross, she's one of Australia's best fashion designer. She's designing my Deb dress."

"Aaron darling, you hitched yourself to the best wagon," Victoria didn't bat an eye as she looked at two barely clothed teenagers, dripping wet, "Gemma is going to be the most breath-taking young lady at the ball."

"Yeah, she is already so beautiful that all the guys are jealous of me," he smiled, "I can't wait to see what happens when you are finished with her. I'm pretty sure she'll end up giving angels a run for their money!" There was just something so genuine about the way he said it that didn't seem corny at all. Aaron really did think I was beautiful and I couldn't help but grin like a simpleton, I just hoped it remained at 'friends'. Aaron looked over at me, "I'll just go get changed in the kitchen then, OK? I'll leave you all to your dress designing, and I'll see you at school on Monday, OK?"

"OK," I squeaked. It appeared that Aaron had scuttled off before I had answered. I didn't blame him because the group and situation was very imposing. My casual confidence had dripped onto the floor like the small trail of saltwater behind me. I had the sudden realization that I was practically naked in front of these people. I hope they all suspected I was wearing a bikini top under my towel.

Mum, Nicole and Australia's leading dress designer Victoria Cross all stared at me from their positions on our couches. No amount of prayer would move their eyeballs from me. I can't believe I had forgotten about my meeting with Victoria. When I was trying to fix the things I had broken recently, the shards of white satin lying in a rubbish bag was priority number one. Even though Mum acted like it wasn't important, I knew it was. There was no way she could make another one in time for the Deb, she works too hard at the pub. But I also didn't want to just buy one from a store, I wanted it to mean something to us. It was then I remembered how special I felt in that adorable yellow dress and how I met the lady who had designed it, and how she was nice and she said that she would love to design something else for me. A tentative phone call later and she was going to fly down here to help me out. And Holly thought her dress was special because it was bought special in Melbourne!

"Gemma honey, get dried, get dressed and come join us please," Mum said in a scolding, condescending fashion. The problem with having your son turn into a teenage girl is that you have to now deal with a teenage girl. That meant a lot different things, including the fact that a cute boy can end up making her forget her duties. I wasn't the only daughter to have that problem; Mum had dealt with Nicole and her boy-crazy ways too.

Picking clothes to wear in front of this country's biggest doyenne of fashion was tricky. For me, a person that even as a girl has no real interest in clothes it was extra scary. It seemed gauche to just stroll of there in jeans and a t-shirt but there was no way I was 'dressing to impress', I wanted to just be me. I'm mean we were friends already, so I could be a little more casual and it wasn't like Nicole or Mum were dressed to the nines.

I unwrapped myself from my beach towel and slid on a bra. It always amazed me how good at fastening a bra I was when I wasn't thinking about it. I called it my 'Girl Auto-pilot'. There was a few things my Girl Auto-Pilot was better than me at; doing up bras, doing mascara, crossing my legs when I sit down and casually flirting. Whenever I tried to focus on doing these things the end product would always end up worse. Girl Auto-pilot used to frighten me a bit, as if one day it would eventually take over, driving my body to always dress pretty and go looking for a suitable husband so that we could start a family. But Annette had convinced me that was not the case.

The top I chose was nice, not too dressy and not just my usual tank top uniform. My length hair was almost into exclusively heavy metal bands and girls territory but still a ways off, but it was definitely a lot more feminine than when this weird journey started. I had let Nicole style it so now it was more layered and looked really good. In the end I went with a thin, summery skirt. Sure, it was the second skirt I had worn in two days but I was no longer concerned of what people thought, I would dress the way I felt like.

"Oh Gem, that top and skirt don't match!" Mum lamented. Letting me dress myself outside the realms of tank top and jeans was akin to letting a 4-year-old dress herself for the first time.

"Mum, don't be so harsh on her," Nicole stood up for me, "But Gemma, it is all a bit of a hodge podge!"

I looked down in attempted shame and squeaked out, "Sorry."

"Don’t be silly, darling," Victoria chimed in, waving her hand about grandly and elegantly, "Fashion is only about experimentation. Without the willingness to try something different or absurd, fashion would fail. It was a noble effort, Gemma." This was the first thing she said to me, no 'hello', this is who Victoria Cross is.

Upon sitting down between Mum and Victoria I saw Victora's sketchpad, they had started without me, long flowing lines outlined a gown that would look appropriate on a Disney Princess. I think I am too short to be Cinderella. "Well Gemma dear," Victoria started warmly but drolly. "Have you been thinking about what you want in a Debutante gown?" The truth was, I hadn't. I think I was afraid to, I knew nothing about fashion.

"Umm, I don't want to be too grand," I said in my tiny voice, "You know, I want to fit in."

"Of course you do," Victoria said with a smile, "I must try and understand that you probably already feel like there's a spotlight following you around 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. For many, many girls their Debutante Ball is a chance for them to be the focus of attention for a moment. But you don't have that desire, do you Gemma?" She scribbled madly, holding her pad close to her chest, deftly hiding her genius.

I am someone who can be keenly aware of her faults, not of all them but a lot of them. Since having a taste of the spotlight I have learnt that I am a glutton for said spotlight. I liked being famous, I liked people saying (nice) things about me. I wanted to fit in, but I still wanted to be celebrated. I'm beautiful and I really like it when everyone around me can see that. "Well, I still wanna look pretty," I meekly answered, knowing my vanity was showing.

"Gemma, it would be impossible to make you look plain. Now your mother has been showing me photos of her original dress, it was very beautiful."

I suddenly felt very guilty and had to avert my eyes from everyone. Nicole had been very angry when she found out, not half as restrained as Mum was. She gripped my stick-thin arm and I yelped when she squeezed. "Oh, that didn't hurt," she sneered dismissively. "Gemma, that dress meant so much to Mum," she said through gritted teeth, "And so much to me. You have to think sometimes! That's always been your problem, you don't think about how your actions are going to affect other people." Now that was probably a valid comment but since Nicole was prone to the same behavior I didn't listen to a word of it. I could see in her eyes that anger was pooling up inside of her. I seriously thought she would hit me. As kids we were always fighting, she was always picking on me, until I grew larger than her, of course. Now I was only 1cm taller than Nicole and a whole lot smaller and weaker, she could easily take me.

But luckily things calmed down, especially after Victoria said she would design dresses for both the mother and the sister of the Debutante. Nothing like designer couture to make women forget their grudges. Mum and Nicole was buzzing all week with ideas for their outfits, as well as mine. I could barely keep up with all the talk.

"Like your mother and sister, you have a very prominent bust…"
I looked down at my 'famous' bust. "Yeah, I'm OK with it now. So, I'm totally fine showing them off," I smiled as I poked one.

"Well, that answers my questions. You also have very nice rounded shoulders, so I was thinking that we could have the gown an off-the-shoulders number. What do you think?" I nodded as if I knew what I wanted.

The scratching of her pencil tightened the tension in the room. "The last dress featured a rather full petticoat. I loved the whole fairytale slant of the dress, do you mind if I keep the full petticoat? I know they aren't 'in vogue' right now, but the princess image really suits you." 'Princess' was a real trigger word for me, I have no idea why but being called a 'princess' made me feel heavenly. I did want to look like a princess, and I wanted a Prince Charming and everything. I know real life doesn't end with a 'Happily Ever After' but I was going to try as hard as I possibly could to get one.

"What do you think of this?" Victoria said as she calmly held up an etching. The figure in the drawing looked like an angel, her flowing long dress and tight bodice working together to create a divine look.

I looked at Mum, she had a tear running down her cheek. So did Nicole.

"It's perfect," I uttered.

****

As always, feel free to email me any comments, questions or criticisms to [email protected] The response I get to this story is amazing. Thank you so much to everyone who has ever e-mailed or commented, it means a huge amount.