We joined the other pair after two hours, Alys having stepped in halfway through with fresh cups of tea and a plate of non-greasy nibbles, plus a hug and cheek kiss for two of us. The story was even worse than the bare bones Mike had given us. Lexie was calm, gentle in fact, throughout, but I was picking so many cues from her face and hands it was clear how hard she was having to work to keep that poise. There was one episode Neil recounted, involving a particular dress, that made me want to hit someone. Lexie’s jaw muscles worked a little as she spoke.

“So, then: he groomed her and groomed her, got his, got what he wanted, and then simply abused her?”

“Yes. I couldn’t understand why. She… we…”

He struggled for a moment, then started again.

“When we first got together, she was wearing that dress. We’d met someone in a bike shop, nice man, did us some favours, and she teased him a little. Using the dress. He said I was a lucky man. He was so right”

The need to give extra detail had bitten him, so we had an explanation of exactly how the dress fastened, and an unsurprisingly detailed description of what else she wore. Lexie waited patiently until he had finished.

“So you reclaimed good memories and washed away the nasties. Maddy must have appreciated that”

Neil’s blush was nuclear.

“Um. Yes. She… Maddy liked, really enjoyed sex, but it was more. She had a need, to be needed herself, to be wanted. She had had a boyfriend before she had, you know, sorted things out, but he was gay, really gay. Couldn’t adapt. And my Maddy, she was just, she knew who she was. I knew who she was. Just a woman. Just to be loved as a woman. And I did. Love her”

I was seeing the real man now, especially his lack of filters, and I realised how hard he must have to work to maintain his public face. Suddenly, he was looking directly at me.

“I know, Enfys. Stress does that to me. I have some techniques I was taught, mostly ways to delay speaking immediately. Counting games and so on. Maddy taught me another, an important one, but it can get in the way”

Lexie’s voice was as soft as ever.

“What did she teach you, Neil?”

His gaze went distant for a few seconds, perhaps seeing another time, another face.

“She said that I should ask myself is what I was about to say would sound weird if it came from someone else. Another filter. If I lose my filters, I lose myself”

He shook himself, before drawing deeply on inner strength I knew all too well was in limited supply.

“He found her again, this Nigel. We had our own shop by then, N and M Strachan Photography, but Maddy still did exhibition work. He must have spotted that, one of her shows, and then traced back to the shop. We started getting notes through the door”

“Did you keep them, Neil?”

“Not the first one, exactly. Maddy tore that one up. I picked the bits out of the bin. I kept all the ithers, or at least the ones I saw”

“They were abusive notes? Abusive to Maddy?”

“To both of us. Called it… Called her intimate parts things like ‘open wound’ and ‘rot pocket’. Asked me if I was disinfecting myself after being with her. That file has the notes I kept”

It was not a slim file. Once again, I saw Lexie’s jaw muscles work, as she flicked through the papers. Each in a clear plastic bag.

“Who bagged these, Neil?”

“I did. I was hoping there’d be DNA or fingerprints or something”

“Good man”

He broke down just then, but refused to take a break, so once he was able to speak, both of us did our best to ignore the continuing tears.

“We set up some security cameras, one of those door bell things. Hidden away. That file there has the prints, and that box has some discs. I got his car a few times as well”

Lexie took a quick look at the photos, muttering a couple of times, before asking what was close to the last question.

“What happened, Neil?”

By this time, I was wrapped around him, the pain so evident I wanted to scream from it.

“My parents, Lexie. They had come to our wedding, and I think… I was off their hands, even if she was older than me, and nobody else needed to know her history. They seemed to like… Sorry. I have a problem understanding how anyone could have known her and not loved her. My parents seemed to like her, but they had retired to live in Spain. There was an accident on the road and they had… They were killed. There was an inquest that went on for a week and I had to go down as—”

“Neil?”

“Sorry, Lexie”

“Not a problem, my love. If this is getting too hard for you, we can stop”

“No. Got to do this. I was in Spain. He started to come into the shop while I was away and it was just Maddy”

“Any witnesses?”

“Our cameras. No employees or other customers; he timed it that way”

Lexie went to ask another question, but he simply interrupted her, and I realised he needed to get the worst words out before he was beyond the ability.

“She sent me texts and e-mails and I still have them and I went to the police afterwards and they said it was just one of those things and they’re all prone to depression and we’re sorry she went off the top of that car park and thank you for your time Mister Strachan”

That was when he finally left us, the loss taking him into a pit of what looked very much like pain mixed with a huge flood of shame, and the two of us held him until he was able to whisper, finally, a ‘thank you’.

Sod hitting someone: I wanted to disembowel the bastard.

Lexie squeezed his hands, smiling gently.

“Neil?”

“Yes?”

“My other half, Lisa, is sorting some food and stuff with Alys, probably arguing over marinades and shit. What I would like you to do is go upstairs and wash your face. No shame, but it will relieve your eyes. Have a rest, then come back down, and we will join the others and have a good afternoon and evening. That do you?”

He nodded, and this time her smile was a little tighter.

“Not sure how much Enfys has explained, so here’s what I can do. I work for a police unit that does what the telly calls ‘cold case’ work. You know Debbie Wells, I believe?”

He was nodding before she had finished.

“I know exactly what your team did for her and her girls. I could hardly miss that, could I?”

“Fine. If you are happy, I will call my boss. I need to hand this over, if you want me to push it forward. Do you want?”

“Are you sure you’ll get him?”

“No. There’s always a risk with courts. What I am sure is that my team will want this one, and we will do our absolute damnedest. That’s my promise. Do you want me to proceed?”

He nodded once again.

“Go for it. Whatever happens, it should get the bastard’s name into the press”

She showed her teeth that time.

“Oh, indeed. Trust me on that one!”

He rose to his feet, still oozing shame, and silently walked out of the room, and I heard the steps creaking as he headed upstairs. Lexie shifted closer to me as she tapped a number into her mobile, switching it onto speakerphone.

“Hello, can I help you?”

“Sammy? It’s Lexie”

“I know. My phone tells me these things. How’s the jolly?”

“Not so jolly. Enfys is sitting next to me. Remember her?”

“I remember you two teasing the shit out of the team, girl! What do you have for me?”

She drew in a deep breath, and Sammy did his own muttering.

“Heavy one, then?”

“Absolutely shitty one, boss. TLDR?”

“Go ahead”

“Happily married couple, blissed out, same set-up as Annie and Eric. Stalker. Hubby has to go abroad. Wife goes off top of car park. Local plod not interested”

“Ah. Local force is which one?”

“Cheshire”

“Handy. We have decent contacts there. Evidence?

“Shit, Sammy, so much of it I am asking myself whose bosom buddy or relative the cunt is”

“That bad? Not your usual language”

“I have just had an afternoon with our witness. I need to hand this one on and…”

She had been poking through some of the files as she spoke.

“You are going to ask me to leave the stuff with him until we can get it picked up and a proper signature, chain of evidence, so on and so forth?”

“Naturally”

“Well, it looks like our witness has thought of that. The folders he didn’t walk us through are simply copies of the originals. If we take this on, we can get started as soon as I am back, or rather the rest of you can”

I had to ask.

“What if your bosses decide not to take it on?”

Sammy’s voice was silky, even over the speaker.

“Hi, Enfys. Even if we didn’t owe you one, this is exactly our kind of case. We open up cans of worms, that’s our job, but we don’t mind. We call that a target-rich environment, as the Yanks say. Or, as I like to say, there’s always the good old Ways And Means Act. This fucker sounds like he has connections. We have seen that before. We don’t like that. We stop it. Two things are in play here, the first being that if he feels bulletproof, there is almost certainly one or more other angles to his behaviour. And he’s not the only one with connections in the Cheshire force. He may discover ours have rather more clout. Lovely to speak with you again, Enfys, so remember: we pay our debts. Enjoy your evening, ladies”

He was gone, Lexie looking a little slumped.

“They’re going to love me, that lot”

“Too heavy a case?”

She considered my question for a few moments, then gave me the weakest of smiles.

“What I said sort of goes both ways, Enfys. Part of that is how you heard it, but the other, well: it’s why I’m still on the team, and I suspect it’s the same for all of us. Tell me: when you do a good rescue, if there’s such a thing, how do you feel afterwards?”

I thought back to that touch and go with the helicopter, what seemed like an eternity ago, and then there were the whispers from those outings where all we could bring back was a body. Not like that time with Old Pat, where someone had relaxed out of life in the most loving of company, but those where death had come as a literally terminal shock.

Put those ones away, woman.

“I don’t know. Relieved?”

“Proud? Of being able to make a difference?”

I found myself nodding in agreement, and that faint smile came out again.

“I see it as a privilege. A job where you can make a difference for the better, a real one, it’s a privilege. Not many jobs offer that”

“Yeah, but what you have to deal with—”

“Bigger the shitpile, bigger the difference we can make. This is a shitpile, but it’s a black and white one—what?”

“Sorry. Not laughing, but Neil is really into black and white photography. Just seemed apt”

“It is, I suppose. What I meant was that the morality part is clear: good man, and woman; very bad man. Now, you know Jon on our team?”

“Of course”

“He did the interview on one of the worst people I have ever encountered, man called Cooper”

My breath came out in a rush as that name struck me like a punch to the gut.

“I know who he is, Lexie”

“It’s ‘was’ now, love. Anyway, that was a shitpile, BUT: we were able to give some relief to so many of his victims, just like the Evans case. It’s… oh, closure, all those buzzwords, but in many cases, the victims have been believing that one day their tormenter is just going to reappear, status quo ante, déjà vu all over again, as the joke goes. Cases like those, our victim gets to see them in the dock, see how pathetic they really are. That’s a privilege, and it’s what kept Jon going”

She looked away, shaking her head a couple of times before wiping her eyes.

“We can’t bring Neil’s Maddy back, Enfys, but we can do our best to give him Nigel. Now, time to join the others, I think”