A Walk On the Beach with Mom

A Walk On the Beach with Mom
Copyright 2025 by Heather Rose Brown

The ocean holds many secrets. Unfortunately, it doesn't hold many answers. At least, not the kinds of answers a gender questioning kid might be looking for. But sometimes, if you're lucky, you can find something on the shores of that ocean more precious than you might have hoped to discover.

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Watching the pink nail polish on my fingers and toes sparkle as I strolled along the beach with my mom shouldn't have been that big of a deal. I mean, I'd never worn polish before, but that didn't really explain the happiness bubbling up in me. Or maybe ... it did?

I took in a deep breath of the cool, salty air, then let out a long sigh. One of the larger waves rolled inland just far enough to splash me up to my ankles. The bubbles tickled my bare feet, turning the end of my sigh into a giggle.

Mom slid her arm under my hair and across my bare shoulders, then drew me closer while asking, "Are you feeling a little less nervous now about going out of the house now?"

I squinted to keep the afternoon sun out of my eyes while looking up at my mom. After taking a few moments to think, I nodded and said, "I guess I am." I grinned, then added, "At least the beach fashion police ain't tried to arrest me for wearing a halter top with baggy jeans."

My mom grinned back, then asked, "Are you sure you're not a girl?"

I shrugged and looked out at the ocean. I knew there were no answers out there. Still, seeing those deep, ancient waters doing their own thing without having to explain why filled me with a sense of peace. Eventually, I looked back at my mom and said, "I dunno ... maybe."

Mom's eyes shimmered with warmth in the shadow of her sunhat. "I guess that's what our summer of discovery is all about," she said while giving me a one-armed hug.

My squint turned lopsided when I asked "Our summer of discovery? I thought it was just me who's discovering what I really am."

A gentle gust of wind blew a few strands of my hair into my mom's face. She let go of my shoulder and reached up to hold her hat down. Once the wind grew still, she said, "It's more like me discovering if I'm the mother of a very pretty boy, girl, or non-binary child."

A rush of joy flowed through me, until it started leaking through the corners of my eyes. I stopped walking and said, "Oh Mom ..."

My mom stopped a moment later, then turned to me and asked, "Are you okay, honey?"

I nodded, took a step towards Mom, then wrapped my arms around her. After a few tries, I managed to whisper, "Thank you."

She held me close, then stroked the back of my head while saying, "Of course, sweetheart. But ... what exactly are you thanking me for?"

"For ..." I said as something warm and damp rolled down my cheek, "for ... letting me be me."



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