Last week, I went to the "big city" (I live in a small town; 2500 pop.) to do some shopping. Most of the time, I dress out of the butch side of my wardrobe; women's clothes but the effect is androgynous. That allows people to see me the way they want to. I'm always surprised when they look at me and address me as a woman, but it does happen and when it does my voice doesn't shake their perception.
When I go shopping, I dress femininely beyond a shadow of a doubt. That includes light make up -- less is more, you know. That consists of darkening my eyebrows (they've gone to salt & pepper) mascara and lipstick. Fortunately, when I renewed my driver's license last, I was wearing make up.
I generally drive the highway at five over the limit and rarely ever catch up to someone and often have folks come up behind me. On this occasion a small red car caught up to me at a high rate of speed.. I wasn't surprised when he passed me. We went around a curve with me following and we caught up to a white pickup. The red car passed the pickup and I determined that the pickup was going at least five MPH slower than I wanted to. The straightaway was pretty long so I too passed the pickup. I thought it was pretty reasonable to assume that the red car would continue on at the same speed as he was going when he caught up to me.
Not so. He pulled in about three or four car lengths ahead of the pick up and paced him. There was oncoming traffic and by the time I got far enough ahead of the pickup to pull back into the right lane, I had to break pretty sharply to match the speed of the red car.
I don't know where the cop was, but he turned up behind the pickup, red lights flashing. Buy that time the red car had pulled away and was around a curve ahead of me. I began looking for a place to pull over that would be big enough for me and the pickup. I never imagined the cop was after me. The pickup kept his slow place and they (he and the cop) dropped out of sight in the next set of curves.
But shortly, the cop was behind me, lights still flashing. This time I didn't need a big spot to pull over and soon found one. I expected the cop to pass me but he pulled in behind me.
I got my license out of my purse and rolled the window down. I waited with my hands on the wheel in plain view.
The cop told me that he had stopped me because of the pass. He thought I had braked because of the oncoming traffic and that they too had put on the breaks. I explained about the red car and the need to match my speed to his when I pulled into the right lane and told him that I hadn't observed the oncoming car slowing down; I did allow that my attention was focused on getting back into the right lane so I couldn't say for sure that they didn't.
He took my license back to his car and ran me. I have a spotless driving record further back than they can check, He came back and we discussed how dangerous that particular stretch of road is. Another car went flying buy, hardly pulling over enough to miss the cop and he yelled for them to slow down. He told me he had a pin in his right leg from being hit by an idiot like that one. I mentioned that I thought the "Pull Over" law that requires drivers on multi-lane highways to use the left lane when passing emergency vehicles with their lights flashing and to slow down on two lane highways, was one of the best traffic laws they'd ever passed.
The cop looked at my license, looked at me and then back at the license. Obviously checking that the picture matched my face. He then gave me my license back (no citation) and admonished me to watch the passes.
Comments
Adressed as signora by an Italian police officer
I never had an experiance like the one above but an Italian police officer once adressed me as "signora".
I was not wearing a dress or skirt or in any other way trying to present as female.
(However, I do like shortish shorts which apparently men don't wear. The scantily clad "selfie" ladies in Las Vegas commented on them)
Polite to the Uniform
Never had a problem nor a ticket from any uniform in all the years and the times I've been stopped. The only time I received any harassment from an asshole wearing a uniform I was fixing fence. He pulled up onto my property and began to berate me for allowing my livestock to run lose. Told me next time they were out he was arresting me. Two caveats here, they never left my property even when they did get out. Oklahoma does have a lose livestock law, they aren't allowed to roam free.
They weren't out, I was fixing fence, and he is on private property without a current offensive situation. His badge and his need to be an ass classified him as one of those who shouldn't be wearing a badge. I was honestly surprised he didn't make any comment about the big revolver I had on my hip or ask me if I had any licenses? I bet that didn't set too well with him either but Oklahoma laws. A woman stretching barb wire in the middle of a field set him off?
A couple years earlier and I've never seen or heard from him again. Did I mention my cousin is the sheriff in this county and yes I mention the harassment I received to him.
Hugs Patricia
Barb
Dozens of good ones and one bad one sure leaves a bad taste in the mouth
Oklahoma born and raised cowgirl
As my license, and all of my identification shows “F”……..
I have never had to worry about whether or not my ID matches my appearance, but I can imagine that many have to worry about getting stopped like you were. And I am sure that this will get worse before it gets better.
I have always found that being polite is the best way to go, whether with a police officer or anyone else. Yes, there are times when being less polite can make a point, but I have found that ripping someone a new asshole while still being calm and polite is sooooo much more effective, lol.
I have the advantage of having a son and two nephews who are in law enforcement, as well as a brother-in-law who is the County Sheriff in the county in which I live. My middle son is a Supervisory Sergeant Investigator for the Sheriff’s office in the county just west of where I live, one of my nephews is the Chief of Police in the city in which I live, and another of my nephews is a Deputy Sheriff in the county in which I live. Also, due to my background both in the service as well as my civilian occupation, I have connections with the State Police in multiple states within the Northeast region.
Suffice it to say that it has been a long time since I got a ticket, lol. Yes, I have been stopped a few times - for speeding (I spend a lot of time driving, doing between six and eight hundred miles most weeks) - I tend to drive ten or fifteen over the speed limit when on the highway, and a few times because when I travel by car I use a clothes bar in the back of the car. This tends to obscure anyone from being able to see in the back window, which bothers some police officers, but is decidedly not illegal. Many vehicles don’t even have back windows. My getting stopped usually results in my having a nice chat with the officer, and then going on my way.
Once they find out that one of my sons is in law enforcement, we usually just talk about where he works, etc. I actually got into a nice conversation with a Pennsylvania State officer one time about the merits of carrying a taser; my son’s department didn’t carry them at the time and he was pushing to get them as they offer another non-lethal method of stopping suspects. I had noticed the taser on the belt of the officer, and he was very interested in talking about it.
I have also found in my travels that staying calm and polite goes a long way toward getting help when you need it. Case in point, airline personnel are a lot more helpful when you are polite. I have seen people yell and act indignant because of delays or flight cancellations, which does them no good. I find that being polite and simply asking the agent to help you out works much better. Of course, my status with the airlines doesn’t hurt either, but going up to them and simply asking them to get you close to where you want to be makes it a lot easier on them as well. I can’t tell you the number of times I have simply told an agent, “Just get me within a couple of hundred miles of home and I will rent a car and drive the rest,” and they get me home. I live 224 miles from the Philadelphia International Airport, and I can’t tell you the number of times I have driven a rental car home from there. Hell, the folks at National Car Rental at the Albany Airport laugh when they see me and ask what kind of car I am bringing them this time, lol. My status with the rental car company always gets me a nice upgrade, so they usually end up with a Cadillac, although there have been two 5 series BMW’s, a couple of Audis, and even a Genesis I drove home from Greensboro, NC once as well.
I was flying home from Kansas City one time when the weather cancelled pretty much everything. I couldn’t get into Albany until the next day, so I had the agent put me on a flight to Philadelphia that was only half full. While sitting and eating as I waited for my flight, I couldn’t help but overhear a young couple sitting near me. They were headed to New York City on their honeymoon, but due to the weather their flight had been cancelled and they were unable to get on a flight, being told it might be several days. The newly wed wife was in tears. I excused myself for listening, and suggested that they fly into Philadelphia as it is only about an hour and half drive from Manhattan. I also told them I knew there were seats on the Philly flight I was on. I also told them that if they got on that flight that I was driving home to upstate NY from Philly, and that going into Manhattan was only about 30 minutes out of my way and I would be more than happy to drop them there.
They took me up on my offer and to this day I still get an annual Christmas Card from them.
Being kind and polite takes very little effort, and it has its own reward.
D. Eden
Dum Vivimus, Vivamus
Speeding
Thanks D. Eden, your story reminded me of when I was on one of those long stretches of back country Texas highways and I passed a deputy going the other way. Yes, I was cruising a little over a hundred. His lights came on when I zipped by him. I pulled over and waited. We are in the middle of nowhere Texas, over thirty or forty miles back to any town. He wrote me out a ticket for fifteen dollars. Put the ticket and money in a sealed envelope and sent me on my way. Gotta love the open highways in the western states.
Hugs D. Eden
Oklahoma born and raised cowgirl