What I have to say should not be taken as a “I told you so”, though to some it might sound like that. So please, everybody, please let us all keep the exchange about this issue civil.

In my personal opinion, we from the trans community are partially to blame for this backlash against our hard fought rights and recognition. Why would I state such an opinion? I am glad you asked.

In the last about 100 years the LGBT community has firstly fought to decriminalize all sexual orientations that do not conform to the traditional heterosexual norm. This has generally affected M-M homosexual orientations more than F-F homosexual orientations. Mainly because in the so-called western societies men were [generally] seen as being superior to women and children, while women were [generally] seen as inferior to men but superior to children. Though sometimes boys who had gone through puberty were ranked higher than women while still below men. And since women were [always] seen as more emotional and more touchy-feely, it has usually been much easier to disguise and hide a F-F homosexual relationship.

Even as recently as the start of this millennium, I have encountered the fact two men living together in one house would get them both accused of and ostracized for being homosexuals, with the implication that all homosexuals (also known as Gays or “Schwule”) are known by definition to be pedophile sexual predators. (Even I as a single father, after my now ex-wife abandoned me with my daughters, have had such accusations hurled into my face.) While at the same time nobody batted even an eyelid at two women sharing a household or accommodations over the long term. And I know several cases where I have long had my personal suspicions of there being more than just sharing a household. But in those instances it was a case of “Don't ask, don't tell”.

In the early 1960s, as sexual orientation was slowly de-criminalized, the struggle for the recognition of gender identity started to emerge. As well as the long battle to get gender identity de-stigmatized as NOT being a mental illness that could be treated by any number of weird and wacky therapies such as electro-shock or aversion therapy. And we have to thank a lot of brave trans advocates (the vast majority of whom have been M2F) for the progress that was achieved over the decades. Lynn Conway was one of the quiet ones, but she has documented and high-lighted many of the active advocates on her website.

In the early years most of the visible trans people had to resort to sex work in some form to survive and finance their transition. Unfortunately that applies almost exclusively to the male-to-female segment. It was only in the mid-to-late 1980s that a shift away from sex work as a mode of survival started to happen. Nowadays it seems that the proportion of sex workers among the trans population seems to be equal to the proportion among the cis population.

Due to the value bias of gender still inherent in our so-called western culture, a transition from female to male is generally considered a social upgrade, while a transition from male to female is definitely seen by the society at large as a significant downgrade. Couple that with the admiration for tomboys and much wider range of socially acceptable clothing choices, and you can appreciate that F2M people have a much easier time at being socially accepted productive members of society. Thus the M2F segment is much more visible and controversial, having to fight a much steeper up-hill battle for social recognition.

After having set the stage with all that historical and sociological and/or anthropological information, I am now coming to the reasoning for my initially expressed opinion.

Instead of being content with [grudging] acceptance by society of an alternative gender identity, and very slowly consolidating the gains made over the preceding decades, a very few but very vocal tried to smash through the social barriers and glass ceiling by demanding access to things they felt entitled to. In the last few years such entitled individuals have become known as “Karen” and social media has been overrun with stories and videos of these entitled and extremely obnoxious individuals. It seems that the vast majority of these Karens are cis-female.

I will give only two examples of trans advocates that, in my personal opinion, went to far to fast: Renée Richards and Caitlyn Jenner. The former imposed herself into women's professional sports through a controversial court battle way back in 1976/1977 after being outed on TV by the father of Tucker Carlson. Around 2012 Renée Richards has expressed ambivalence and maybe even some regret for this legacy she has. The latter has become extremely controversial in the LGBTQ+ community for her views on trans issues. Though Caitlyn Jenner waited until her youngest child was almost 18 years old before publicly transitioning, he had spent the previous 40 years in an ever growing celebrity bubble that started with participation in the 1972 Munich Olympic Games and a Gold medal in the 1976 Montreal Olympic Games, culminating with the reality series “Keeping Up with the Kardashians”. In April 2021 Katelyn Burns of Vox wrote:

“Jenner's politics and controversial existence as a self-professed trans advocate has long put trans Americans in a double bind, forcing them to defend her from transphobic attacks while deploring her political views.”

As an avid student of transsexual and transgender issues since I gained access to the Internet in early 1998, I have found it chilling and troubling how Jenner's highly publicized and extremely vocal transition, and the increasing backlash against the trans community (starting with bathrooms and sports) seem to coincide.

I have a hard time understanding why cis-males feel so terribly threatened in their own gender identity and sexual orientation by trans-females. But I fully understand why cis-females might feel threatened trans-females, since way to many have experienced sexually motivate physical and/or emotional violence from people with a penis. And even though many of us in the trans community — especially among the male-to-female population — have also been victims of sexually motivated violence, and in serious need of a safe space. We should therefor grant an even higher respect to safe spaces for females and not seek to invade them like a bull in a china shop. If we as trans people show respect for all female safe spaces, we will get invited to some of those spaces and also be granted a safe haven there.

As for competitive sports, my personal opinion is that we should for now steer clear of and stay away from any and all competitive activities segregated by sex. If you are so inclined, then by all means indulge in your athletic activities. But you might want to consider just competing against yourself, or voluntarily refusing to have your achievements recorded or considered for “official” recognition. Maybe becoming a trainer or coach could be a worthwhile outlet for your competitive nature. Again, respect currently established norms and quietly build respect and acceptance from the grassroots without outright vocal demands.

Slow and steady is the way to go for the best long term results. As is so aptly illustrated by this old proverb:

A steady drip hollows the stone.