[- Legally -]

“Before I speak to Jennifer, I’d like to make sure I’ve reviewed and understand completely an important item I was not able to find in the original divorce decree provided,” retired Superior Court Judge Andrew Clark, our mediator, said to the four of us in the room. There was, of course, a fifth, a stenographer who was taking notes, but she was out of the way and clicking keys quietly as he spoke.

Denise’s lawyer, Wayne Nett, assured Clark his office had supplied not only him but also Lance a copy of the court-recorded decree from three years ago. I watched Lance write something on his notepad and point at it. It was a single word—‘Idiot’. I was pretty sure he wasn’t talking about Clark and assumed it was…

“Excellent, and thank you for confirming that. Could you please point to where in the decree either party stipulates anything in regard to Parent A not leaving their named child, Jennifer Lynn Styles, in the supervised presence of Parent B while they are with Person X? Likewise, is there anything to the effect that the unsupervised presence of Person X is not to be allowed access to named child Jennifer Lynn Styles if said Person X has a prior conviction for being a child predator or person with a relevant history that could, would, or might endanger said named child?” Clark asked.

“There are no such stipulations,” Nett answered since Clark was looking directly at him.

“I see, Mr. Nett… Would you mind taking a look at this?” Clark said, passing him a single piece of paper. “Please summarize that for me.”

Nett skimmed the document and looked over to Lance and me, then back to Clark. I watched Denise take the piece of paper, read the first few lines, and glare in my direction. I knew what she’d just looked at; this mediation session was about to get ugly.

“This wasn’t provided to us pre-mediation. Is Mr. Styles filing his own change as a counter to Mrs. Lamb’s in this mediation session?” Nett asked dryly.

“I haven’t been notified of that yet,” Clark said, looking to Lance and me. “I believe this is what they call a ‘shot across the bow’ since nothing has been filed or requested. Until we know Mr. Styles’ intentions, though, for the record please summarize that document for me.”

“It’s an arrest record for Gary Michael Lamb, dated fifteen years ago, but I can assure you Mr. Lamb did community service, has sought treatment, and does not partake in the consumption of alcohol any longer,” Nett stated as confidently as he could.

“Noted,” Clark said, flipping through some paperwork, finding what he was looking for, and sliding that over to Nett. “And this document, a quick summarization if you wouldn’t mind.”

We all watched Denise’s lawyer skim the new piece of paper, slide it back to Clark, and state, “It’s a background check by the Massachusetts State Patrol for Sara Ann Connelly.”

“Ms. Connelly being the person Mr. Styles is seeing that Mrs. Lamb has objections about – according to the answer given by his lawyer. Is there anything relevant in that background check?” Clark asked.

“A parking ticket five years ago on Portland Street,” was the answer returned.

“I said relevant, as in why we’re here today, Mr. Nett. A parking ticket five years ago near TD Stadium in downtown Boston hardly qualifies as relevant, unlike an arrest for driving while intoxicated and a minor charge for battery on a police officer for resisting arrest,” Clark concluded, again looking at some paperwork in front of him for something.

The look on Denise’s face, while not something others might pick up on, told me she was pissed and getting very close to opening her mouth to protest. I kept thinking—DO IT! Show this mediator how much you’ve gone off the fucking rails! You want to draw battle lines? Welcome to the big leagues!

Denise hadn’t told me about Gary’s DUI or slap on the wrist for resisting arrest. Did she really think coming at me for seeing Sara wouldn’t involve digging into her man? I wonder if she’d reconsider this stupidity we were now in if she knew we’d uncover Gary’s past and I could push for my own decree modifications and protections of Jen.

“I’m going to save you the trouble of looking at Mr. Styles' background check the State Patrol provided his lawyer and tell you there’s nothing on it. Are we clear?” Clark asked.

“Yes…”

“Alright, I’ll meet with Jennifer, and we’ll reconvene to see what we can do about the idea one parent feels the other has exceeded the boundaries set in the decree. Then we’ll discuss what constitutes harassment and necessitates legal protections for a child. After that we’ll see if the filing party can offer perspective, separating any of their preconceived notions, biases, and their emotions so we can come up with a definition of obligations as it relates to this previously filed decree. Are we clear?”

There was a round of ‘Yes’ delivered from both lawyers as Clark stood and headed to a room where Jen was sitting with who we’d been told was a recorder for that part of the mediation session.

To this point Denise still hadn’t said a word, but I knew it was coming. She was refusing to look at me and was solely focused on the TV screen in the room. We could see Clark enter the room with Jen and introduce himself. He then explained what the recorder's job was and sat.

Lance leaned over and whispered, “Don’t provoke her; the recorder is still allowed to record even without the mediator present. Stay focused on the TV, even if Denise speaks. Let me do the talking if she does. I’m certain this guy has made up his mind already, but he’s paid hourly, so this is just a money grab—wasting time interviewing Jenny. Got it?”

He was looking at me for an answer and I nodded that I understood. No problem; I could ignore my ex-wife easily enough, and I wasn’t going to rock the damn boat as she had with this stupid attempt at barring me from seeing Jen without supervision if I was going to continue seeing Sara.

I was impressed with how Lance had played this thus far—the background check on Gary had been a surprise piece of his preparation, and after getting it back from the state, he’d asked if I wanted to go after the same sort of protections as Denise was trying to hit me with. I’d told him no, but as Clark had said, we’d lobbed one over her bow, and that should let her know I could bite back if she wanted to continue playing this game.

I hadn’t minded Lance requesting a background check on me, but I didn’t like that he’d requested to do one on Sara. I’d asked her if it was alright, and she’d said she didn’t have a problem with it. Didn’t mean I had to like it; I already knew she was a good person—though I’d misjudged Gary since I hadn’t known about his DUI arrest or that additional charge.

“If you need anything from me tomorrow, just call,” Sara had said to me last night after we’d gotten rid of a few days worth of frustrations and desires from not seeing each other for a few days. It was certainly a pleasurable evening in that regard, but I hated spilling onto her this crap Denise was pushing.

As we lay there coming down off our highs, she offered to send me her resume, which I’m sure she thought was a joke, but did after she’d made it home last night. It contained her job history, schooling with notation of being on the Dean’s list at Boston College, and some of her volunteer activities. It had made Lance’s day when I’d forwarded it to him this morning—after asking Sara if I could.

Sara was the proverbial ‘Girl Scout’ in every sense of the word; she just happened to be Trans to achieve that. And God damn it, that shouldn’t fucking matter! Denise was being a fucking bitch about all of this shit, rather than just talking to me about it so we could get it figured out like adults, like we’d done a few other things concerning Jenny over the past three years!

[---]

We were all watching Jenny on the TV now, and I went from feeling angry to feeling nervous about putting her in this position. I needed to trust Lance’s judgment, and he’d said her speaking today would be crucial. God, I hoped so…

“Jennifer, would you mind stating your full name and age for me?” Clark asked.

“Jennifer Lynn Styles, I just turned sixteen,” she replied.

“My grandson is fifteen and wants to drive pretty badly. I’m afraid he wants to be like those Fast and Furious drivers, which isn’t something I’d like to know about honestly. Do you have your driver’s license?”

“My learner’s permit.”

“Do you practice driving with your dad?”

“Every weekend… He’s pretty hard on me; he doesn’t let me get away with not paying attention,” she said, smiling at Clark.

How is it she’s so relaxed? I’m a freaking ball of nerves, and she’s talking to this guy like it’s no big deal.

“Tell me about your dad.”

“He’s levelheaded, I think; I admire that in him. He’s fair, very focused, and works hard for the people he invests money for. Don’t ask him to dance; he’s not good at that.”

Clark couldn’t help but laugh, yet the conference room we were watching from remained silent. That did make me smile, though, because I was always trying to get her to dance with me while playing what she called ‘oldies’ music.

“Noted, we’ll try avoiding having any dance-offs in the conference room today. How about your mom?” Clark asked.

“She’s strong-willed and doesn’t let me slide, especially with being in the orchestra. I play the clarinet.”

“I played the tuba, if you can believe that,” Clark said in a very friendly manner. “What do you think of your mom’s husband, Gary?”

“I like him; he compliments her. Ying and yang, I guess. They’ve got a solid relationship; he buys her flowers a lot, and they hold hands when we go out, like to the mall or whatever. I feel like he loves her and makes her happy. That’s all I want for either of my parents, for them to be happy.”

“Does Gary let you slide?”

“No, but he's not as tough as my mom,” she chuckled.

“Do your parents drink?”

“I don’t think either drink that much. My mom will have wine sometimes when we’re out to dinner and occasionally at home. Dad maybe a beer at home, but I can’t remember him ordering one when we’ve gone out,” Jen stated.

“How about Gary?” Clark asked.

“He’ll drink wine with my mom at home, sometimes a beer, but he doesn’t drink if we go out. Pretty sure, but I don’t pay that much attention to that,” she replied innocently.

Clark spent the next fifteen minutes asking generic-sounding questions about both Denise and me. Sometimes Jen’s answers didn’t make either of us look like parent of the year candidates, but that was Jen—telling it like it was from a sixteen-year-olds perspective, and we had to realize she was having a frank conversation with Clark about her parents for him to get a read on us as parents. I felt pangs of guilt and shame when they talked about the divorce, what she thought had happened, what might have gone wrong, and how she felt about that.

She told him I had been career-focused—which sounded like something Denise probably had fed her way too many times over the past six, eight years, and likely a lot over the past three since the divorce was finalized. She said her mom had become disillusioned and sad, and I’d let the routine of work and providing for our family cloud my judgment and priorities. I was sure she got that last snippet of an answer about ‘judgment and priorities’ from talking to me about the divorce a few times over the past three years.

I always wanted to be truthful with her, so I had told her my thoughts on it when she’d asked me a year ago. She was a smart kid; I knew that, and I never wanted to insult her by bending the truth or reality of what she went through. I’d stressed while I was absent it never meant I didn’t love her. I knew that was a hard concept to accept and knew it probably wasn’t completely understood, but I felt like telling her the truth aided in healing my mistakes with her.

“What can you tell me about someone who might be confused about their gender?” Clark asked.

She gave him a condensed version of the definition of the word transgender she’d probably seen on the internet—short, not all that impressed by the look on his face after hearing what she had said. I felt like she had more passion about the idea that someone could be Trans while talking with me about it and tried to channel that idea to her from a room away.

“Alright, but what does it mean to you? Like, do you believe someone could be born male but be a female?”

“I do; I think that happens more than we realize, but kids don’t know how to diagnose that on their own or are afraid to seek help. They know something is off early on and can’t pinpoint it, but it’s there. They know they're not like other boys or girls, and that brings on a lot of shame, guilt, and fear of angering or disappointing their parents, family, and friends. It’s huge. I know all that happens, though,” she replied thoughtfully.

“How?”

“I know kids who are Trans... We’ve talked about it.”

“How well do you know the person your dad is seeing?”

“I’ve met Sara a few times; she’s very nice, and I like how she’s smoothed out his edges a little.”

“Edges?”

“He’s calmer and more relaxed, I think. Not so rigid, like, ‘At 10:03 exactly, I’m going to open the freezer and pull out some chicken to thaw for dinner’,” she said in a funny voice. “I think he’s trying really hard to be a better man because of her, not repeat past mistakes. They have something going on, a connection; I can see it, and I’m happy he’s exploring a relationship with her. I think she makes him happy.”

That was hard to hear, the ‘rigid’ comment, but I kept my focus on the TV, though I could see Denise had glanced at me. Nope, you don’t get the satisfaction of seeing that that stung a little. Yet, in my mind, I couldn’t complain at Jen for what she said because it was the truth, and I didn’t want to fuck up a potential relationship with someone I absolutely felt a connection with.

Could I explain it fully if asked—the connection? No, but this was still new, and we were early into understanding what had drawn us together.

“So, nothing about your dad seeing Sara raises any concerns for you? Have you talked to Sara about her struggle with her gender?”

“No, like I said, she’s very nice, and we kind of connected too, I think. I haven’t asked about how she made the choice to transition. I think we connect because of my dad, but even if they weren’t trying to figure out this dating thing, I’d still want to be friends with her. She’s interesting, funny, and just a girl like me…”

Clark was watching her and squinted just barely at her, “Do you question your gender?”

“No,” but she realized what she’d just said a moment ago and scrambled to make herself clear. “Oh, no… I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to… Yeah, I was just trying to say I think she’s no less a girl than I am or a woman than my mom, grandma, and nana are.”

The conversation between them shifted to Denise and what this mediation event was about. Clark explained it and what the possible outcome her mother was looking for.

“I don’t agree with the need to have my time with my dad supervised. I’ve told my mom that, but she’s not listening. Sara is not remotely who my mom thinks she is.”

“Can you explain that?” Clark asked.

“I don’t know exactly; it’s like she’s maybe caught up in the political insanity and hate thrown at people who are Trans right now. The push for laws and limits—that’s crazy and I know she’d fight any of that if someone were to try and lay that kind of thing on her. Sara isn’t a drag performer or someone whose crossdressing—she’s a woman, identifies as such, knows who she is, and is living her life to her fullest.

“My Trans friends aren’t Trans because it’s something cool to do or an easy existence or they want attention. They’ve told me it’s the hardest thing they’ve ever done because it freaks most of society out and there’s this crazy backlash that’s not even justified. I don’t agree with the president-elect's stance or anyone else’s for that matter when it comes to controlling another’s life choices. Abortion, being Trans, needing a heart transplant – why do people think they can control those things for others? I think we should just let people be themselves.”

“What about someone who is addicted to drugs? Do we as a society step in?” Clark challenged.

“We should, but I feel the connection between that example—someone needing help because they are destroying their lives because of an addiction that is killing them or could kill them—is very different from someone who questions their gender identity and takes matters into their own hands to make their life bearable. My friend Trinity told me that finally knowing what was going on with her, being diagnosed with gender dysphoria, not only save her life, but gave her purpose. She tried to commit suicide, getting care for being Trans saved her she said.”

Jen had just shown she comprehended everything about the bigger picture, and I was feeling extremely proud of her. When had she grown up so much? How had I missed this ‘adult’ in her? And of course I felt guilty I had missed realizing she had grown up somehow right under my nose and was so...

“Jennifer, I’d like to commend you on a number of things. You’re certainly mature beyond your sixteen years of age. I feel like you gave thoughtful and insightful answers to some pointed questions. Is there anything else you’d like to say?” Clark asked her.

“No, not really... I love both my parents very much, and I know they love me and just want the best for me. I’m sure there are plenty of scary things out there they want to protect me from—like driving, if you ask my dad,” she said with a slight chuckle. “I want both my parents to be happy, and in the absence of that, maybe bend a little and be good human beings to others and each other. That’s it, I guess.”

[---]

It took Clark less than a minute to return to the conference room we were in after he wrapped up interviewing Jenny. He told everyone to take a break, use the restroom if needed, and be back in here in ten minutes. Lance left the room to use the bathroom, and I pulled out my phone to text Sara, finding a message waiting for me, but since my phone was on silent, I hadn’t gotten it.

Sara: ??

Me: On a break, going good, I think. Jen just spoke; I am super proud of her.

Sara: I told you, she’s impressive. Credit to good parenting. The mediator has got to see it takes two committed parents to accomplish that and you both have Jenny’s best interest at heart.

Me: Thank you.

Sara: For what? Telling you how it is? Hang in there; let me know how it goes.

Me: No, for being there for me. I’ll hang in there and ping you when we’re out of here.

Sara: Don’t leave me hang’n! (* smiley face emoji *)

[---]

Everyone was back at the conference table on time, and Clark looked to be checking his notes before wanting to begin speaking. Satisfied, he looked around the table and began.

“This request to modify the decree, as I see it, involves Mrs. Lamb’s concern for the well-being of Jennifer as it pertains to Mr. Styles’ choice to see someone within the LGBTQ+ community, a state-recognized class of individuals who legally have the same rights as non-LGBTQ+ persons. Might I remind you, Mr. Nett, it was back in 1974 that same-sex partnership became legal in this state. Not that this relationship is as such—same gender, but I likely don’t need to remind you of the protections offered someone within those classes.”

“Understood,” Nett replied.

“To further that point, in November of 2018 this state became the first in the country to support transgender protections by the will of the people,” Clark stated.

I hadn’t known that and looked at Lance, but he shook his finger at me on his pad of paper ever so slightly. Got it—keep my mouth shut—not that I had anything to say exactly. I was just trying to understand the two legal points Clark had mentioned and how they fit or would screw Denise in this stupid reopening of the decree.

“The state granted same-sex couples the ability to adopt, and those who were transgendered could change their legal gender without undergoing sex reassignment surgery. The state also became the 16th U.S. state to ban conversion therapy on LGBT minors in April of 2019. Mr. Nett, in light of the progressive environment of this state, I’m curious as to how it is you’ve counseled your client to press for a change in the decree knowing these things."

Nett looked anxious to speak. “The 1641 legal code enacted by Nathaniel Ward prohibiting sodomy is still on the books.”

You Motherfucker! I began to stand up, but Lance was quick to get his hand on my arm and growled softly at me, “Sit…”

I was giving Denise the death stare of all death stares. I wanted to… Wait! I pulled the pad of paper in front of Lance to me, grabbed his pen, and wrote:

She and I did that once! WTF!

He took the pen and scribbled over that so it couldn’t be read and then wrote:

Let it play out.

I could see Clark had an unhappy look on his face. Was he mad at me or Nett? Could I be patient and wait to not blast that asshole of a lawyer?!

“Apart from some musty law from the time of our forefathers, that has been ‘judicially emasculated’ and rarely enforced or even quoted, do you have something meaningful to provide? I know you realize that is not illegal between consenting adults Mr. Nett… I’m certain the U.S. Supreme Court has ruled that law unconstitutional and it doesn’t apply to why we’re here today and I take offense you’ve even brought that up,” Clark countered.

“For same-sex partners,” Nett pressed again.

“What does that even mean? Did you miss my pointing out that the protections for those in the LGBTQ+ community are the same as those not in that community?”

“I believe you know the law is used commonly in the prosecution of those who’ve committed sex crimes. Also, the nation’s sentiment towards those who are transsexuals is that it’s a mental disorder,” Nett began, but Clark interrupted him.

“You and I both know any sodomy-related sexual assault sentences invoking that law are an additional penalty in time or monetary damages added to the typical sentencing guidelines due to the aggravated circumstances. Most are plea bargained out of the final time served ruling. And we’re talking sexual assault, not said act between consenting adults.

“Let’s be honest here: that law exists, certainly, but it holds little sway and has limited use or bite. I’ll let you finish, though, but know this you’re not helping your case with that argument and I’m insulted you’ve brought it up. Oh, and one more thing, I’d like to know whether Mrs. Lamb is in any way associated with the practice of medicine, specifically a field such as psychiatry. Only with that will I hear her opinion on whether someone who might suffer from their gender dysphoria and identifies as transgendered has a mental disorder,” Clark challenged.

“No, Mrs. Lamb does not practice in a medically related field,” Nett stated.

“Continue…” Clark prompted.

“Thank you. As I was saying, it’s commonly felt those who feel they are conflicted in their gender identity and want to be transsexuals have a mental disorder,” Nett began.

I was waiting for Clark to say something to that, but when he didn’t, I nudged Lance. He wrote on the tablet a single word, ‘Wait’.

“The medical care given to someone that believes they have a gender identity crisis has not been studied very well and further exacerbates these individuals’ conditions,” Nett stated.

“If I may, do you have research to back those statements up?” Clark asked.

We watched him slide a packet of papers to Clark and to our side of the table.

“I’ll take a moment to review this,” Clark stated.

I watch Lance slide the packet to me, wondering why he wasn’t going to even look at it. I flipped a number of pages that looked like doctor diagnostic bullshit to me. Five minutes of silence dragged on in the room, and Denise looked pleased to have the opportunity to rub this crap in my face.

“Alright, Mr. Nett, continue,” Clark stated.

“Gender incongruence is classified by the International Classification of Diseases (ICD), and that allows these transsexuals access to gender-affirming care and mental health counseling without bias from their insurance companies. Even the World Health Organization (WHO) agrees with the ICD about the need for mental health care for those who consider themselves in an intense state of persistent gender incongruence. And the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-5) has stated people who experience gender incongruence can be given the diagnosis of ‘gender dysphoria’—which again validates their need to seek mental health care, and insurance companies can’t deny that care. We contend that it is in the best interest of protecting Jennifer that there should be limits placed on exposing her to someone with a clear, diagnosed mental disorder, which supersedes any missing language within the original decree covering this exact situation,” Nett concluded.

My heart sank, and I wanted so badly to get up and leave. Was this why Sara had tried to warn me off? Had she seen this coming or experienced this before, or had someone she’d known been subjected to this crap?! Had she tried to get me to consider how difficult it would be to see her with all of society dead set against giving her a chance to live her life or think she couldn’t because she had some kind of mental condition?

Had I dug my heels in because I’d been alone for so long and Sara had been so easy to want to get to know? Did I think I was saving her in some way?

“Anything more?” Clark asked.

“No, but as this is a mediation, I fully expect I’ll have a chance to counter Mr. Allen,” Nett said, looking at us across the table.

“Mr. Allen, would you like to make any points here?” Clark asked.

“I would, thank you. I’d begin by stating it’s commonly known that a psychological state is considered a mental disorder only if it causes significant distress or disability. I have sworn statements from three different psychiatrists who agree with that statement. I can provide those, or we can Google that and throw it up on the screen.”

When there was no complaint, Lance continued. “Ms. Connelly is a graduate of Boston College, who I’ve confirmed on the second page I’ll hand out, was also on the Dean’s list for academic excellence,” Lance stated as he passed out her resume and another page that likely contained something from her school about the Dean’s list.

I got both pages and could see he’d redacted portions of it—like her address, email, phone number, and former places she’d worked.

“Ms. Connelly is currently a practicing nurse at Boston General and has been for a number of years. The idea she’s suffering from any mental incapacity is insulting and...,” Lance was interrupted.

“Does Ms. Connelly seek medical care in regards to her gender-affirming care or mental state?” Nett asked.

That caught him a stern look from Clark. He’d absolutely caught one from me, and it was taking every ounce of self-control I could muster to not rip into this pompous asshole!

“Do you?” Lance asked.

“Do I what?” Nett shot back.

“Have a primary care doctor?”

“I’m not on trial here,” Nett replied smugly.

“This is not a trial, Mr. Nett. Answer the question, please. I, for one, have a few doctors I see,” Clark stated.

Annoyed, Nett gave in, “Yes, of course.”

“Not that tough a question,” Lance said, smiling. “Gender-affirming care has been heralded as saving lives; that’s a fact and an easy thing to Google right here and now if you question that, Mr. Nett. I even think Jennifer mentioned her friend Trinity told her something to that effect.

“You presented a lot of ‘mental state’ information as to whether my client is putting his daughter in harm’s way, but did you listen to her interview? Jennifer knows both her parents want to protect her, but there are going to be instances where that’s not possible—like driving, for instance. Ms. Connelly is no more a threat to her safety than Mrs. Lamb’s husband of just over a year now is.”

Lance pulled a series of pictures from a folder and slid them to Clark. I knew what they were, as they had been provided to me via a mutual friend of Denise's and mine. I’d complained to that friend about what Denise was up to and had mentioned Gary’s DUI. That’s how the pictures became part of Lance’s presentation for today’s session.

The pictures showed Gary and Denise at their wedding last year, someone from the wedding party holding a bottle of champagne and pouring that into glasses for the newlywed couple, them then toasting one another and drinking from the glasses. There was another picture of Gary’s empty glass afterwards and a picture of the bottle being moved to refill his glass. Damaging? Sure, but there were five other photos of Gary with either what appeared to be a mixed drink or a bottle of beer in his hand while at their reception.

Clark slid the pile of pictures to Nett. He didn’t look happy about what he was seeing.

“I only have a few more things to point out. The original decree does stipulate that each parent is to protect their common child, not to mention it’s a standard portion of any decree the state takes very seriously. By all accounts, each parent has done that adequately since the divorce was finalized three years ago. My client's dating habits should not be in question here though. He’s seen two women briefly over the past two years—certainly not a revolving door of potentially bad influences or a pattern of exposing Jennifer to needless danger”

I noticed Nett was glaring at Lance for the bombshell the pictures contained and which parent was more likely endangering Jenny since Gary and Denise started dating and up until now.

“There is no endless parade of new partners who appear and then disappear; in fact, I believe it was Jennifer during the interview process that mentioned she encouraged her father to see if Sara and he were even compatible. And while introducing a new partner to a child is well within a parent’s right while with the child, the other parent cannot dictate who will see their child or when without a real threat being evident.

“Mrs. Lamb’s reaction to her ex-husband's choice of dating partner resulted in a yelling match between the two of them where she demanded he stop seeing Ms. Connelly. I have a sworn statement to that effect from Mr. Styles' business partner, who witnessed one side of that conversation briefly,” he said, sliding it across the table to both Clark and Nett. “Her actions exhibit resentfulness and anger, possibly even her being insecure about Ms. Connelly for some unknown reason…”

“That’s not even close! He’s seeing a man who insists on dressing as a woman!” Denise scoffed as if disgusted to even have shouted those things.

Nett was on her quickly, telling her to not speak. Lance waited, but I think that pause was him trying to bait her to dig herself a deeper hole. He could have provided a recording of that call, and we with us, but Lance wanted show her having made the call was interfering with my employment beyond just me. If Nett had objected to Ken’s statement being offered as proof of her lengths of badgering me we’d play the audio since all calls were recorded at my office.

“The exposing of Jennifer to things, people, or something that might be inconsistent with one parent’s values could play both ways here. When Jennifer was asked if either of her parents had bad-mouthed the other, her answer was ‘No,’ at least not in her presence. Mr. Styles has told me that was one of the things they agreed upon, as parents, was to not disrespect the other parent in front of Jennifer. Mr. Styles seeing Ms. Connelly, a Trans woman, is a real-life situation not covered in the original divorce decree, and she poses no immediate danger to Jennifer.

“Rigid rules added to the decree now, after three years of successful parenting—which involved many compromises and discussions about raising Jennifer together—may not fit Mrs. Lamb envisioned outcome today. The decree does not state at what point a child should be introduced to a new partner or the length of time into a relationship that should happen or dating exclusivity or when the ex-spouse is to be notified of a new relationship or when that new partner is permitted to stay overnight at the ex’s home when the child is staying over. Jennifer is beyond needing to be babysat, so demanding the right to approve any babysitter in the current decree is well past being needed, and I believe both parties were flexible about that—though Mr. Styles never did have anyone other than himself watch Jennifer when he has his allotted time with her.

“When a spouse seeks a child custody agreement modification, it should be in the best interest of the child. Ms. Connelly is not a criminal, nor has she been convicted of any crime or enumerated criminal offenses that a court would be concerned about. Mr. Styles has been counseled by me on a Protection From Abuse Order (PFA) in regards to Mr. Lamb’s drink…”

“That’s bullshit, Brad! You know Gary isn’t an God damn alcoholic!”

“Mrs. Lamb! You will refrain from speaking unless directed to do so by me! Is that understood? Clark barked at Denise, slapping his hand on the table for emphasis. He turned to look at me, “That goes for you also, Mr. Styles.”

I nodded; I understood.

“Only preliminary discussions have happened with my client, but it is of note that in most cases the state could forbid all or unsupervised contact with Jennifer by Mr. Lamb. That could result in Mr. Lamb being forbidden from contacting Jennifer at their home, school, or any workplace she might have until she turns eighteen and beyond. There are other avenues we could look into, such as a Protection from Intimidation (PFI) Order. It would mean Mr. Styles would likely end up being awarded the primary caregiver, a reduction of support, possibly the alimony amount also, and a requirement for supervised visitations for Mrs. Lamb.”

“I think we’ve had enough ‘shooting across the bow,’ Mr. Allen unless you’re about to make a specific request of change to the decree of your own on behalf of your client,” Clark chided.

“Understood, the point for any of that is Mrs. Lamb’s counsel may not have advised his client of the consequences of a frivolous waste of my client's time,” Lance challenged.

“Noted, Mr. Allen… Mr. Nett, would you like a moment to consult with your client?” Clark asked.

“Yes, if we could take a small recess,” Nett replied.

[---]

The ten minutes of waiting for Denise and her lawyer to return felt like thirty. Lance had stepped out to make a call, and I’d checked my phone to see if Sara had said anything more—she hadn’t. Clark and I watched as everyone returned to the room at about the same time, sat, got situated, and waited for him to speak.

“Where are we at, Mr. Nett?” Clark asked.

“My client is willing to amend her request for supervised visitation for Mr. Styles, but would like to request mandated counseling with all parties to come up with a clearly defined parenting plan to level set expectations of those things Jennifer is exposed too. While not binding, it would be an appropriate next step given the nature of Mr. Styles’ current relationship,” Nett stated.

Clark looked to Lance and me.

“We don’t feel that’s necessary. Mr. Styles has abided by every portion of the original decree, and it’s clear he’s not about to put Jennifer in danger needlessly. He’s happy to discuss parenting issues with Mrs. Lamb as they have the past three years and doesn’t feel a third party mandate is appropriate at this time. Also, there will be no discussions entertained about any limiting of his rights. At this time Mr. Styles is not considering filing for any protections for Jennifer from Mr. Lamb as he feels Mrs. Lamb has her best interests at heart—that is against my recommendation, but it may be something looked into in the future,” Lance offered.

“Thank you… Anything more either of you wish to add?” Clark asked. When he got head nods he continued speaking, “My ruling, if you had not rolled back your intentions, Mr. Nett, is there would be no need to change the original decree. You’ve presented nothing that I or any court this petition was presented in would consider Mr. Styles has needlessly put Jennifer in danger – unlike the questionable behavior of Mr. Lamb. I feel Jennifer, while only sixteen, does understand the issue that’s brought us together today and clearly does not have an issue with Ms. Connelly or her father having relations with Ms. Connelly.

“This proceeding today would be evidentiary in the future, but you both know this already. And finally, I’m a bit disappointed we’re where we’re at today and trying to make a case to limit an ex-spouses ability to see whom they choose to see personally. That isn’t something I would have let be governed by a divorce decree without substantial evidence one or the other parent was needlessly putting their child in danger by who they allowed around their common child. I would have entertained suggested courses for Mr. Lamb’s continued access to Jennifer – within reason.

“On that note, if there’s nothing further, I’d like to thank you all for…,” Clark was trying to finish up his closing remarks, but Lance interjected.

“If I may,” Lance began and caught an irritated look from Clark. “There was an unnecessary financial burden placed on my client; we’d request your consideration for compensation by Mrs. Lamb.”

“I was wondering if you were going to bring that up. What’s your number, Mr. Allen?” Clark asked.

“Billable hours will amount to a roughly eight-thousand-dollar invoice I’ll be presenting to Mr. Styles. Plus there are those shared costs for your services,” Lance offered.

Clark considered the request for a moment, “I’ll award you five thousand, along with the cost of our mediation session – all to be paid by Mrs. Lamb.”

“Thank you,” Lance said as he closed up his portfolio, stood, encouraged me to stand, and we walked out of the room together.

[---]

“How did it go?” Jenny asked anxiously when she saw me in the hallway after we exited the conference room.

“Good, everything is fine, honey,” I replied trying to ease her angst I was picking up in her face and tone.

“Okay… You’re smiling so that means what?”

“Nothing is changing, so we move forward with a little more consideration for your mom's and my positions on parenting you.”

“Is she going to want to do that, like, allow you to see Sara?” Jenny asked, surprised.

“She can’t prevent me from seeing who I want to see, so she’ll have to figure out dealing with Sara or whomever… Might take her some time, but we’ll get it worked out, nothing for you to worry about, okay...”

From down the hall behind me I heard, “Jen, let’s get going…”

Denise’s voice was fairly level, with no outward signs of anger or annoyance in it, but I was pretty sure she was still fuming and not wanting that to spill over onto Jenny. More likely to have me know she was pissed it hadn’t gone her way in the end.

I got a quick hug and a kiss from Jenny.

“You have any problems, you call me, alright?” I coaxed, looking at her seriously.

“I will… Tell Sara I said ‘Hi’, okay… Love you, Dad,” she said before walking away.

“Will do kiddo, love you more…”

[---]

“You realize I was prepared to battle for a lot more back there,” Lance said as we walked out of the mediation offices into a chilled and gloomy Boston afternoon.

“I know, and I appreciate that,” was my reply.

“Why? Why not go after her?”

“I’ve told you the divorce was my fault. Stupid as it might sound, I feel some responsibility still to not fuck her over any more. I loved her once and know she’s got Jen’s best interests at heart. Sara, or any woman I choose to see, is something she’s going to have to adjust to. I just don’t feel like I need to be a complete ass about everything that pisses her off, and quite frankly, she’s been easier to deal with the past year with Gary. Jen’s got a schedule and routine, and while I’d love to see Jen more, she needs her mom too and I’d never want to bar her from her Denise or have someone babysitting the two of them like Denise wanted for me.”

“You know this isn’t the last time you’re going to get crapped on for seeing Sara?”

“I know,” I began, but noticed something in his tone. “You worried about something?”

“No, of course not, you know that. Just saying there’s a lot of intolerance out there, and you’re going to get doses of it that will test your resolve. Looks, veiled comments, whatever... Being Trans can’t be easy and I’ll bet dating someone who is Trans isn’t as simple as it should be.”

“Sara’s warned me and I got a bit of that already from Marty. I’m just trying to navigate my way with her, but I can’t stop thinking about her constantly,” I replied quietly.

“You’ve got it bad, buddy,” he said, smiling.

“Guess I do… You think Jen’s going to be alright?” I asked.

“Yeah, she’s impressive, Brad, seriously.”

“Agreed… I’m certainly proud of her.”

[---]

My text to Sara was simple and contained a smiley face emoji and a picture of me standing next to her car in the hospitals employee parking lot. It took less than fifteen seconds to get a reply which said: OMG! BE RIGHT THERE! DON’T MOVE!

::: --- :::

Author's note: Still got some life issues I'm dealing with, nothing crazy, but sucking my time away from writing. I'm working hard to bring this one to a conclusion. Thank you for hang in there with me.

Don't be afraid to click the "Kudos" (Thumbs Up) icon for this story if it's done anything for you. If you comment, I will reply.

If there are problems or you have criticisms you'd like to share privately, feel free to message me on the site (you’ll need an account) or via email ([email protected]) - I'd love to address them if I can and have fixed many an “Oops!” after posting a story (Thanks to All for those assists – very much appreciated). I'm still growing as a storyteller; I'm far from perfect, so any help is much appreciated and valued.

Thanks for reading...

Rachel M. Moore