Root CGD: Day 13 captivity, 6:33 PM
CinT Ark Loc: Exhibit Housing
I woke to a familiar face and a smile that said the redheaded guy looking down at me was happy to see I was still alive and kicking.
“There she is...”
The fact he’d referred to me as 'she’ wasn’t lost on me. I wanted to correct him, but I also didn’t want to start a conversation with him by complaining about it or getting into a pointless argument this early into whatever this zoo life required. I knew I looked a little like a woman, and I get the 'see a mug of ale, call it a mug of ale’ confusion, so I’d put up with being referred to as one for a little while longer until we could reasonably talk the situation I was in out.
“I wouldn’t be too sure about that,” I groaned at Garrett sitting next to me on the bed and hoped he caught the double meaning in that reply. He was holding my hand like he had in those dreams I’d had, but this wasn’t a dream, we were speaking to each other, and his hand felt warm in mine, comforting even. He looked concerned, so I followed the statement I’d made with the obvious, “What’s wrong?”
“Remember what I told you while in the holding pens?”
I nodded I did, taking my hand back slowly because I was sure he was going to lay some bad news on me.
“Perceptions are everything in here. You and I are in the Exhibit Housing now because they think we’re ‘coupled’ and our interactions are being watched even closer now. We can fake a bunch of shit for a little while; they know there’s a ‘get acquainted’ period for people who are new to this idea of being held captive and paired. That will give us a little time to work out a plan on how we get around some of the obvious difficulties we’ll have meeting their expectations.
“I’ve talked to everyone in the exhibit and I let them know about you, so I hope that helps with any awkwardness you might feel when you interact with the others later. I’m going to send Ali in to help get you settled while I get some stuff made clear with the other guys. You alright with all of this so far?” he asked.
He’d dumped a lot on me in just those few sentences. I hadn’t totally accepted this new reality yet, that we were specimens in a zoo, or that there were expectations of me from those running this facility involving him. Saying we were ‘coupled’ had implications I wasn’t ready for in the short term or ever actually. And, if that wasn’t enough to deal with, everyone knowing I wasn’t what I appeared to be wasn’t how I’d like to have started my stay in the Exhibit Housing. Sure, it was bound to be obvious once the others laid eyes on me, but I’d like to have been the one to navigate their concerns if they had them and it was within my power to appease them or set their minds at ease.
“Do I have a choice?” I asked after too long of a pause in answering him.
He chuckled, “You do, but the disposition of those who don’t comply with our hosts desires tends to end badly for that person. We’re trying to figure out how to get out of here, and we’d appreciate you deciding if you’re interested in joining us before we put a bunch of effort into acclimating you only to get nothing in return for our efforts. Believe me when I say this, they will yank you out of here if you don’t look committed to their program.”
Garrett, or as I wished I could keep calling him ‘Red’, had said what he’d said politely, but there was an undercurrent that was unmistakable - get on the team or potentially suffer the consequences alone because we’re not going to waste our time on you.
“I’m in and will play whatever part I need to,” I offered.
“I was hoping you’d say that. Okay, hang out here and I’ll be back in an hour or so,” he said, leaning in to kiss my forehead before getting up, turning towards the door, and walking out of the room.
I’m sure the shock on my face wasn’t lost on him, but he hadn’t stayed long enough to explain that act, that gesture, that outward display of affection. I hadn’t expected it and planned on discussing it with him when he returned, that was for damn sure. Was him kissing my forehead part of his ‘perceptions’ comment he’d laid on me all those times in the holding pens? Likely, though I’d have to get an understanding of our host’s expectations spelled out and then set some ground rules to level set his expectations between us because I might look a little like a woman, but I wasn’t going to willingly operate like one fully.
He’d said we were ‘coupled’, which might be the norm for him in this place with an actual woman, but it was the furthest thing from my want at the moment.
Those dreams I had where I had been ‘with’ him completely came to mind and how we’d… Augh! FOCUS! Not the time for that kind of distraction!
I heard him begin talking to someone in the other room and tried to listen in but gave up because of their hushed tones. I figured he was talking with Ali and remembered meeting her briefly before she encouraged me to go back to sleep. A few moments later it was quiet, there was the sound of a door being closed, and a smiling woman entered the room carrying a bunch of clothes in her arms, laying them at the foot of the bed.
“Hey Cameron… Got another load out in the living room, be right back.” I watched her leave and return with another armload of clothing, set it next to the first pile, and ask, “You feeling up to moving around a little, maybe getting dressed in something more normal, less garbage bag like?”
I just stared at her for a moment and then looked at the two piles of clothing, wondering if she comprehended what Garrett had supposedly told everyone about me and what I wasn’t. The clothing she’d brought in did not look like ‘normal’ clothing in the least to me since they were all women’s clothes from what I could see.
“You realize I’m,” I didn’t get to finish my statement because she cut me off.
“I know, we all know, and trust me we’re a little bit confused about what you’re doing here to be honest. Best guess is they want to use you for something specific, but are maybe breaking you in first by having you join us. It’s a real head scratcher, but we can brainstorm that later.”
I could feel the weight of everything that had happened to me these past thirteen days and huffed a breath before saying, “That’s not very...” I couldn’t finish my thought before breaking down in tears.
“Hey now… Relax, relax,” she said quickly, putting her hands on my shoulders to draw me into a hug and then sitting next to me to hold me. “We’re all here for you one hundred percent, okay... This is totally normal and we’ve all lost it when the reality of what’s going on has slapped us in the face. Just don’t freak out too much, okay? Try to just go with it, learn the ropes, and the universe is going to work all this out. It’s not worth stressing all crazy like right now. You’ll be fine, and we’re all about making our confinement here easier to deal with as we try to figure out getting the fuck out of here. Look, you’re lucky to be coupled with Garrett and from all I’ve seen and been told – he’s very caring, not an asshole, and he’ll treat you well.”
Through my sobbing, I heard all she was saying, caught the caring in her voice, and prayed I could trust her and everyone else who was in the same predicament. When the sobbing slowed, she gave me a quick squeeze and released me.
“Look, the hormones their pumping into us have done a number on all of us; trust me on that... I can only imagine how they’ve affected you and get you’re probably confused with this detour in your transition, but it will all work out.”
I forced myself to compose myself because it wasn’t lost on me the idea I was being pumped with all manner of chemicals to help me sleep for whatever reason, but hormones wasn’t one I’d expected to hear I might be getting fed unknowingly. Not only that, but she thought I’d done this willingly, that I was Transgendered before coming here and was actually trying to transition and become a woman?
“I’ve only had one dose of female hormones,” I squeaked, unsure if that was actually true or what I really meant to say in reply to the idea she thought I might be transitioning.
She laughed politely before saying, “Oh honey, that’s not possible, not with those breasts and hips. You look like you’re easily a CGD year into your transition, or a little more if I had to guess, is that about right?”
“No… That doesn’t make any sense,” I complained.
“All of us girls have changed since being brought here; not much we can do about it though since we all have to eat and drink. That’s how we think they’re keeping us drugged; they’ve pumped all of us with hormones and, of course, shit to keep everyone thoroughly ‘aroused’.”
“Aroused?” I asked surprised.
The fact that she thought my transition was greater than a CGD year was an uncomfortable realization to be presented with. Could it really have been that long since I was last on the Barrow Gar? It can’t be…
“There’s way this much ‘coupling’ is going on and way this frequently to not be helped along without some drugs being introduced into this environment to encourage that—both for the guys and us girls. We figure their goal is to breed us, but we must be early in their program because no one’s actually carried a child to term since I’ve been here or according to everyone who’s been here longer than I have. If a woman does make it to term, I’m told they don’t survive childbirth.”
“I didn’t want this.”
“None of us did,” she replied with a slight chuckle.
“No, I mean, I’m not Transgendered; I never was trying to become a woman,” I complained.
“Really? You’ll have to tell me that story because you look pretty far into your transition.”
“But I’m not transitioning and there’s no story to tell, other than I didn’t ask for any of this.”
“You might not have wanted this, but your body sure as hell ignored that idea,” she said, smiling.
We sat there a moment not really saying anything, and I considered complaining more about it not being my desire to transition, but curiosity got the better of me.
“What did you mean when you said you’ve changed?” I asked.
“First off, my tits are easily a cup size larger since I’ve gotten here, which I kind of like since I had a fairly small chest to begin with. I could have done without the changes to my hips, though. If my ass gets any wider, I’m going to need those damn hover drones hanging close to my ass to warn people I’m coming! ‘Fat bitch coming through!’” she said using a funny voice, smiling broadly afterwards, and giggling a little.
I think she was expecting me to say something or maybe laugh, but I could only stare back at her. When I didn’t offer anything in reply, she continued.
“Look, you’ve,” she looked to be switching her train of thought and said, “Whether transitioning was or wasn’t your plan, it doesn’t matter in here. I’m betting since you’ve been here you’ve been getting the same stuff us girls have been getting. Do you have any idea how it is they’d confuse you for being female in the first place?”
I spent the next couple minutes explaining as much as I knew about how I’d gotten here, Cheryl giving me a dose of synthesized female hormones after our ship had been knocked out of service, being prepped for the stasis tube, and finally waking up in that holding pen with Garrett next door. Then she told me her story, which sounded very similar—a disabled ship and waking up here. She’d been spared the excruciating pain part that I’d gone through, but the men here had all experienced the same pain as I had.
“Do you have any idea why they’re doing this?” I asked.
“We’re in a damn zoo, and it’s just what they do in zoos. Keep the animals alive, display them, and breed them. As a group, we’ve talked that question to death,” she said, looking up towards the ceiling.
I followed her gaze and noticed for the first time there wasn’t a ceiling in the room we were in, and it looked like there was a blue sky above us, not blue paint on a ceiling. How hadn’t I realized that until just now?!
“No ceiling? No roof?”
“Odd I’ll give you that, but it’s because they want to see what’s going on down here. It doesn’t rain, and the weather doesn’t change. We get daylight hours and, of course, nights also. You’ll know they’re there watching, as they tend to get noisy when, well you’ll get it,” she replied.
“Noisy? What do you mean I’ll get it?” I asked, unsure if it was something I needed to be worried about or not.
“You’ll hear clicking-like noises. We think that’s them communicating with one another, talking as they watch us in here, or whatever it is they’re doing up there. No rhyme or reason to their clicks, though there’s tonal differences we think could be age-related. Like, some of the higher-pitched rapid clicks might be the children of whatever alien species is out there watching us.
“We think they get excited or curious when things are happening down here. No clue what any of them are saying to one another, but it does get noisiest when,” she shook her head and shrugged as if I was supposed to know what she was talking about. “The good thing is we don’t think they know what we’re saying to each other either, which is a good thing because I’ve yelled at them to fuck off a few too many times when they start clicking at Mike and me...”
“Are they always watching?”
“You’ll see when you get a look outside that the exhibit is a fairly large circular enclosure. We believe we’re always being watched and this facility is always open for viewing, observation, or studying us. There’s usually some kind of noise they’re making, you’ll see. I’m surprised right now there isn’t any noise though. They tend to be curious when someone new joins us. I’ve wondered if this place is their version of a sex club, like those on any of the G-ntose’ moons,” she said shaking her head slightly as if annoyed by that idea.
G-ntose, in the Fallon Quadrant of the Great Barrier Belt of planets, was well known for providing all manner of deviant pleasures. From drugs to sex to pretty much whatever your vice was, you could find it there and get it fairly cheaply depending on the credits you had in your possession. I was going to hope this place was a zoo facility and not something like G-ntose.
“You said ‘when things are happening down here’ and something about ‘get it’ – does that mean…” I asked sheepishly, fearing I knew what her answer would be already.
She thought about how to answer that for a moment before finally saying, “The ‘things happening’ and ‘get it’ are the same: what we’re doing, what they’ve brought us here for, to do, ‘breeding’, sex...”
I could only shake my head in disbelief.
“Expected behavior, so get used to the idea now, though we’re not sure how that’s supposed to work with you and Garrett.”
“I can tell you, it’s not!”
She took a moment to consider what she wanted to say before giving me a concerned look, much like the ones Garrett had given me since we officially met.
“Like I said, we’re all a bit confused with your presence here and what their expectations are. The last woman who was ‘coupled’ with Garrett, a biological woman, as we’ve all been until you arrived, lasted three days before she wasn’t here any longer. He’d said she refused to do what was expected of her, wasn’t going to do it no matter how much we tried to convince her, and on the morning of her fourth day she was gone.
“Transferred someplace, experimented on, or killed—we just don’t know. No one is much interested in finding out, though, so we do what they expect us to be doing and hope for the best. Mike had said there have been a few women who’ve come and gone that say our host’s outright killed those not participating in this program. Is that true or a rumor? I couldn’t tell you, but I don’t want to find out, so I play along, just like everyone else does.”
“Garrett said women have had trouble with pregnancies; how can that be?” I asked. Her pained look wasn’t lost on me, and I quickly apologized for the insensitivity of the question.
“Not a topic you’ll want to bring up with the others. But to put your curiosity to rest, we’re, the women, pulled out of her periodically for what we believe is medical care once they figure out we’re pregnant. Because we’re out of it when they take us; no one knows what they’re doing specifically, but whatever it is, it’s not helping any of us carry to term. I’ve miscarried twice right around the second trimester, and within days of those checks they had done on me,” she replied solemnly.
“I’m so sorry, Ali.”
“You know, the first time I didn’t deal with it very well. The second, I was actually kind of relieved, which is hard to admit. I haven’t told anyone this, but I really don’t want to bring any child into this fucked-up existence and have them ripped from my arms to get sent off to some other zoo or experimented on. I’m to the point of being scared to get pregnant because if you don’t miscarry, then you’re likely going to die while giving birth. Either way you lose your baby,” she said softly.
“I’m… I’m really sorry I asked,” I said, touching her hand. “How long have you been in here?”
“Little less than two CGD years, I guess. Mike’s been here way longer; I’m his sixth time at being ‘coupled’. He’s lost nineteen kids, including the two we lost together. Very nice guy, treats me as well as can be expected, though he’s not someone I’d have been attracted to outside of this place. Funny, we don’t get a choice of who we’re coupled with; it’s more luck of the draw.
“The guys kind of remain the same, unless they don’t play along, and the women rotate in and out for the same reason or are replaced if they’ve died during childbirth. Mike told me years ago the guys in here used to swap women all the time, but somewhere along the line he and another guy implemented a change to end that, and it kind of stuck, I guess. Like I said, Garrett’s a good man; he’ll treat you well from what I’ve seen.”
I shook my head at her. “I’m not a woman though, I... I mean, how is any of this going to even work? And even if I wanted it to work, shouldn’t I have been put in here as one of the guys?”
“Yeah, probably… We’ve got a little time to figure some things out. Look, let’s at least see if any of these clothes are going to fit you. They’re gently used, like most of the stuff in here, but you’ll likely be more comfortable in these clothes than the stupid baggy they’ve had you wearing.”
Root CGD: Day 13 captivity: 8:12 PM
CinT Ark Loc: Exhibit Housing
Ali and I spent nearly an hour and a half talking nonstop while I tried on the clothing she’d brought for me to build a wardrobe. Most of the garments had actually fit – though tight in the shoulders. That kind of surprised me given they were made for women. The whole exercise wouldn’t have been happened at all if she hadn’t ‘forced’ me to try everything on. Granted, she did so playfully, even when I tried to complain about whatever she handed me to try on next.
I heard ‘perceptions’ more times than I cared to have heard and gave up complaining after awhile.
She joked with me through most of it to keep me distracted because it was obvious I was uncomfortable wearing women’s clothing. There were a few instances where I was certainly embarrassed, like when I tried on the uniform like coverall dresses or skirt with matching uniform jackets. All these garments were from some organization and no one in the Exhibit Housing knew from what planet or group or even time in history they were associated too.
To me the utilitarian style / function screamed military or some government issue. The construction of the clothing included durable materials and different colors that could be a symbol of rank or maybe even a prestige indicator. And of course each garment had a numbered name plate on it which possibly identified the wearer or group they belonged with.
Ali was patient with me, gracious even, and got me through it without making me feel like I had to worry about being judged. She wasn’t ever critical when I complained and she always seemed to have something kind to say. I got hefty doses of encouragement from her, and I heard, ‘That looks really cute on you.’ or ‘Wow, that looks better on you than it would on me.’ too many times to count. Hearing those compliments was odd at first, but as the try-on session continued, I found I liked hearing what she thought, especially when whatever she was commenting on looked good on me.
Not that I thought I needed to impress anyone or wanted to for that matter, but there were parts of this experience I enjoyed because of her being so relaxed and friendly to me.
Wearing a bra would take some getting used to, though I was thankful for the barrier it provided between my incredibly puffy / sensitive nipples and them being aroused by every movement I made in that silk bag-like dress garment I’d been wearing since arriving here. I won’t miss that bag they had supplied me to wear and even joked about dancing around it on fire if she could make that happen. I would admit I liked the support wearing a bra offered, so there were a couple tangible benefits to wearing one after I’d been shown how and gotten them adjusted properly.
I was a little taken aback to hear her thoughts on my breasts after I’d accidentally flashed her while removing a bra that was too big so I could try on another.
“I remember when I was twelve, and mine looked like yours. Hate to break the news to you, but you’re likely to get at least a cup, maybe two, bigger. Having puffy nipples like yours generally means you’re still filling out,” she’d warned me.
Great! Yet another aspect of this new zoo life I didn’t want to have to deal with – having bigger breasts.
Thankfully, the idea women needed to wear makeup wasn’t something our host’s had planned for at all. There wasn’t much of that kind of thing available anyway, and Ali mentioned that none of the women did much in that regard unless they were dining together and felt like putting some effort into looking nice. I said I wouldn’t be ready for that kind of thing any time soon, which got her laughing, and I joined in because it just seemed silly to me to think I could look any better or womanly with the application of paints (makeup) to my face.
She offered to teach me the basics of its application in the next couple days. Since it was just the eight of us here, there really wasn’t a need to impress anyone, like on any of the civilized planets we’d come from or had visited. Not to mention they’d synthesized our soap and shampoo, which she said didn’t do all that great of a job of removing what makeup they’d provided or the other women had learned to make from some of the food items we were given. She mentioned there wasn’t much to do here, so teaching me how to apply it would be a good distraction for both of us.
“Makeup is more of a pain than it’s worth,” she’d complained.
She admitted she did wear something on her lips most days, but only because Mike had told her once he liked it. I got the feeling there was more to their connection than she was letting on but didn’t press. I figured she liked him enough to want to please him by doing something as simple as wearing lip gloss or lipstick, and if that worked for their relationship, good for them! As for Garrett and me, that wasn’t happening, and I shuddered thinking about our lips being anywhere near each others, though I was sure I felt differently in those dreams I’d had a few nights ago concerning kissing him.
My hair was long enough to be pulled back into a ponytail, and Ali helped me figure out getting that done right. It took a couple tries before I could do it well enough without some guidance. Never having had hair this long was something I would need to get used to. Specifically taking care of it and doing something with it other than letting it go naturally wild on the daily as I had been doing since waking up in this place. She told me Cayline was the resident hair care specialist and would be happy to put a little style into my unruly locks if I asked her.
I did get a little emotional a few times during our time together as she was guided me into a more feminine mindset. I told her I felt like I was stuck in a void between my former self and coming to grips with how I looked now. I wasn’t sure who I was supposed to be or how to be the person I looked like now.
“Don’t think of any of this as an act; just be yourself, and I promise you’ll find your way,” she said.
She left me with advice to not compare myself with any of the women I’d known or the women in the Exhibit Housing.
All told, our time together made me the proud owner of five previously enjoyed coverall dresses in three colors, one jacket and skirt uniform like outfit, a couple of bras, and four pairs of panties. There were a couple pairs of shorts I’d tried on that fit but were a little tight. She had said the shorts would have been something comfortable to sleep in, had they fit better.
“I generally just wear one of Mike’s shirts to sleep in. It’s not sexy by any stretch, but it’s comfortable, and he doesn’t seem to mind. I’d suggest stealing one of Garrett’s shirts for now,” she said and mentioned she was going to see if she could find shorts that might fit better later from one of the other women’s stock of clothing.
For shoes, she could only find a pair of sandals that had a chance of fitting but they ended up being a tiny bit too small. I could wear them to complete an ‘outfit’ she’d said if I really wanted to put up with them not being fully on my feet. I was a little disappointed to not have anything to wear, but oddly more so because I liked the way the sandals looked – though they were most definitely made for a woman. I’d been walking around barefoot since waking up in that holding pen and figured I’d survive without something for my feet in the Exhibit Housing too.
“You’ll find being a woman means there’s a lot of sacrificing your personal comfort for the sake of beauty,” she quipped about my heel hanging over the back end of the sandals by a centimeter – no matter how hard I tried to make them fit.
“Beauty? That’s a concept that doesn’t compute for me and is not even on my radar, Ali. I’m a long way from any of that sacrificing talk or accepting this new form,” I told her.
“Ah, you might want to take a long look in a mirror, I think you’ll rethink that idea.”
I was quick to try and change the subject back to shoes and being fine with walking around barefooted. She assured me she went around barefoot most of the time, as did the other women. I mentioned wishing I had a favorite pair of boots I used to wear daily before ending up here. She said maybe one of the guys had a pair of boots I could borrow. I was happy the conversation had moved in a different direction and the subject of beauty or my looks or common womanly concepts, ideas, and modes of operation had been put aside for the moment.
I wasn’t ready to face any of that yet, especially since I’d happily step into my old form in a heartbeat if given the chance. In the end, being dressed in women’s clothing felt less uncomfortable, but it was still a few galaxies away from my norm. Would I feel that way tomorrow about wearing these clothes? Who knows?
There were parts of our time together I felt Ali purposely wouldn’t engage with me about some question I’d asked. Specifically talk about getting out of here and any plans that were being considered. Garrett had returned right after I’d asked her the same sort of question a third time, though slightly different, and him walking in on us cut her dodging my question like she’d done the other times I’d asked. The look on her face told me she was purposely holding out on me. I’d have to push on her or Garrett for answers later.
When Garrett saw me, he was quick to compliment the coverall dress I was wearing and gave me a quick kiss on my cheek, which almost missed because I’d tried to pull back from him because I wasn’t expecting him to try and do that. I got worried looks from not only him but Ali too. There wasn’t any dwelling on that reaction though, and he seamlessly jumped into asking about there being any shoes for me, and Ali told him that was going to be a problem.
“Let’s her feet traced on some paper and leave that by the stores port,” he said.
He went on to explain the ‘stores port’ because I’d looked like I was wondering about what that was. It was where / how our food was delivered, and in the past they’d tried to request items from our hosts on occasion by leaving them on paper with our garbage. Most requests weren’t successful due to what was figured to be a language barrier, but something simple like this our hosts had figured out before, so chances were good they’d come up with something.
“Stick a pair of unneeded smaller shoes with the trace; it’ll help solidify the request,” he said to Ali.
“I can live without shoes,” I replied.
“Can’t hurt to keep them busy or guessing we’re trying to communicate a need with them,” he said, turning to look at Ali. “You need her for anything else?”
"Nope, I think she’s set. So, we’re going to introduce her to the others tomorrow then?”
More 'she’ and ‘her’ talk directly being thrown at me, and I tried to not show I was bothered by that. It might appear I fit those identifiers, but inside there was a battle going on with that idea. Maybe I should try and explain that to them - again...
“Yeah, talked to the others, and we’ll have a lunch gathering out front like we usually do for the new arrivals. Think the hosts would think something was up if we didn’t. Cayline and Zenia are coordinating the food.”
“Alright then, guess I’ll see you both tomorrow,” she replied, smiling and wishing us both a good night before turning to leave us.
I started to follow her because I wanted to thank her again for helping me, but Garrett grabbed my arm gently, but firmly, to stop me from doing so. I was a little surprised, and when my head snapped toward him, the message on his face was clear—‘Stay put.’ For a split second I’d considered pulling away, but knew I’d get another lecture about ‘perceptions’. I ended up just standing there staring at him, wondering why he’d stopped me from following her. He’s got another thing coming if he thinks I’m going to put up with this moody, bossy asshole routine of his!
He waited for the door out front somewhere to close before speaking.
“This place is no joke, and it’s dangerous in the sense any one of us could get plucked out of here for not playing their role right or up to the expectations of those who run this place.” He paused to make sure what he said had sunk in. “I’m no safer than you, even though I’ve been here longer than everyone else except Mike.
“It’s not just the women that get pulled out of here, though they tend to more often be replaced than the men. The point is I don’t want to find out what they do with those who aren’t living up to their expectations. Shit, I don’t want that for anyone of us in here, but you can believe I’m going to play the part of ‘coupled’ with you like my life depends on it, because each of us in here believes those are the stakes.”
“I get that, and yeah, I… I have things to learn still, but can you cut me some slack? Let me get my bearings a little at least.” I complained.
“I want you to hug me.”
“Excuse me?” I asked – the annoyance I felt at his request dripping heavily in my tone.
His face said he wasn’t kidding or trying to be playful. He still had a hold of my arm, but I was intent on holding my ground because I couldn’t see the purpose of his request.
“Perceptions,” he said softly and tried his best to smile while looking up.
“Okay, I get that already!” I barked.
“Do it,” he growled softly. His request was now more of a demand.
It took great effort to want to move towards him, but I complied and took a step closer, wrapped my arms tentatively around his waist, and laid my face on his chest so I wouldn’t have to look at him or endure his idiotic intensity with me right now.
“Listen,” he whispered.
To what I… Shit! I could hear faint clicking noises growing louder from somewhere above us and without moving my head, I looked up and around as best I could to pinpoint where the noise was coming from. I couldn’t see anything but what appeared to be a fading blue sky, as if the sun was setting on some distant ancient Earth-like planet. The clicking got softer and finally faded to next to nothing.
“Thank you,” he whispered next to my ear.
“Does that noise mean they’re watching us?”
“They’re always watching, especially when someone new joins us,” he replied softly. “When you woke this afternoon, there was a little bit of that going on, but very subdued and not typical for a new couple. I wanted to see if there was more of a crowd now and how closely we’re being watched. Apparently close enough to be all ‘clickety-click-clicking’ excited about this coupling or us holding one another.”
“What are we supposed to do?”
“Look, we haven’t figured out how this is supposed to work between you and me yet, but we need moments like this to prove we’re viable to whatever the hell this experiment means to the hosts. Everyone is worried you’re here as some kind of test, and since we’re coupled, I’m likely the one being tested. Could be my value to the Exhibit Housing might be in question or fuck, I just don’t know,” he answered with a touch of worry evident in his voice.
We were still holding one another, and I moved my head so I could look up at him. There were a few clicks, and then almost silence with the occasional soft click-click noise that could be one of them was having a quiet conversation with another – who knows.
“I don’t want anything to happen to either of us; I hope you can believe that,” I said, feeling a little flush and like there was more to that statement than just me wanting to save my own skin.
“I do, and I don’t want to make any of this difficult or worse for you, okay?” he asked, kissing my forehead again.
This time I didn’t flinch or look like I was repulsed. I could hear a few clicks coming from somewhere above us again, and I couldn’t help but look up and around the domed sky, now showing the occasional sparkle of a few stars as the artificial darkness rolled on. The room we were in hadn’t lost any of its lighting intensity, so I hoped we had control over that, or maybe they’d dim that when they wanted us sleeping?
“Thank you,” I whispered. “Why is this the first time I’ve heard them?”
“You didn’t know to listen, plus I think no one was up to anything that was all that interesting for them to watch so they’ve been quietly observing. Believe me, you’ll hear them clicking soon enough once everyone heads off to bed. You’ll get used to it; I hardly notice it anymore.”
::: --- :::
Don't be afraid to click the "Kudos" (Thumbs Up) icon for this story if it's done anything for you. If you comment, I will reply, so let’s chat or not or whatever floats your noodle.
If there are problems or you have criticisms you'd like to share privately, feel free to message me on the site (you’ll need an account) or via email ([email protected]) - I'd love to address them if I can and have fixed many an “Oops!” after posting a story (Thanks to All for those assists – much appreciated).
I'm still growing as a storyteller; I'm far from perfect, so any help is much appreciated and valued. Thanks for reading...
Rachel M. Moore
Comments
Loving this, Rachel!
I particularly like your very careful pacing in the story. Events are conspiring to force Cameron into Garrett’s arms, and they are both being pumped full of chemicals to lower their inhibitions. But Cameron is trying hard to retain his sense of self while everything around him spirals out of his control. At least the other humans with him seem decent, though . . . early days. There obviously could be snakes in that garden!
Emma
Changes...
Cameron is battling on a few different fronts. The changes have been significant over a period of time he's not even sure of - though he is being told it's been a while. And the whole zoo expectations... Lots to write about and I'm enjoying the way it's coming together. Thanks for the encouragement. Hugz!
XOXOXO
Rachel M. Moore...
Loving it too
And I endorse Emma’s comments re pacing. There’s always a temptation to accelerate events, but the evenness of your pacing helps the reader adjust to the passing of time and, for me at least, builds the tension and adds to the gradual sense of foreboding as Cameron learns more about the totality of his, or as things develop further, her predicament.
This is the first of your science fiction stories that I’ve read, Rachel, and if it’s indicative of the quality of the others, I’ll be devouring them too. I certainly enjoy your “ordinary” stories.
This really is superb. The human zoo isn’t original, but your take on it is written with a depth and maturity that is rare in the genre.
☠️
Stretch...
Sci-fi is one of my favorites to read or watch or plain dream about. It's tough to write when you want it realistic in a sense (generally most of my stories run that way) - though the genre does provide for a wide, wide brush to paint a story. Time and change - two things Cameron isn't in control of like when he was on his ship or in command of his life before getting plucked for the zoo life. To this point he's kind of going along with it I think, hoping he can get put back to his original state, but not sure, but sensing changes he's maybe okay with. Some big moments are coming... I'm hoping they hit well with the pace and the struggle he's had with the time frame of all that's happened.
Your comment did have a bit of "choke me up" affect. IDK, I don't live for comments, but they do encourage and make the work we put in feel like some out there gets it or sees what we're scribbling. :-) You've made my day and week! For that I thank you and want you to know I really appreciate you taking the time to let me know your thoughts on the story...
XOXOXO
Rachel M. Moore...
Everyone is worried you’re here as some kind of test,
a test for what? His ability to fake adapting, or maybe he really will adapt?
Tested...
Bit of a mystery yet as to what they are doing with Cameron. Imagine being couple with him? How's that supposed to work without possibly getting his partner pulled?! You're the best Dot!! Hugs Chica!
XOXOXO
Rachel M. Moore...