NOTE: This story was intended to be set in the present day but a couple of the references are now a bit archaic. Back-dating it by half a century resolved that problem while also opening up interesting plot oppportunities.

THE GORGEOUS LINDA

Tim and I were best mates in the early 'seventies and he had a gorgeous sister. And through Tim I knew her slightly, but not as well as I would have liked, as I’d fancied her for a while.

When Linda was 17, Tim and I (I'm Steve, by the way) were a year older, were into playing soccer and were heavily exercising our newly-acquired right to drink in pubs.

Our Sunday League football team were better at the drinking than the kicking however, but we still had fun. A new lad, Will, had contacted us after moving to the area for work, and had told us he was a mechanical engineer. Obviously someone had to say “You’re very realistic-looking for a robot,” but he took it in good part and soon became a member of our football (and drinking) squad.

But being an engineer, Will was into building stuff, so when he found out about the annual raft race that was held on the River Trent each summer, he got us interested and then persuaded us to knock up a raft to enter and crew in that year's race. And, having the design skills, he was able to come up with one based on two cylindrical hulls using 5 gallon drums with sleek plywood front ends, which would make it fast compared to most rafts we’d ever seen before.

Anyway, Will soon got us organised and we built the raft at the back of his factory and tested it on the river one evening. That revealed some problems but with a bit of tweaking and some practice, our crew did well and won the race on what proved to be the fastest raft.

That had been my last summer before heading off to study for a degree in electronics so I was able to get a summer job at an electronics store for a couple of months before I left for Oxford ...the city, that is, not Oxford University. I'm not clever enough for that. I'd be doing my degree at the Oxford Polytechnic instead.

During the Christmas and Easter breaks, I returned from my studies (which obviously included the local beers) to go pubbing with Tim again (and to say hello to Linda, while chickening out, yet again, of asking her for a date.) And it was the same again on both counts for the summer holiday break while I was once more at the electronics store.

That summer, with us now having a reputation as expert raft builders, there was a lot of brain-picking going on as raft race competitors began to build their masterpieces, some of which would be likely to separate into a flotilla of unconnected barrels before they’d travelled half a mile.

One of the brain-pickers was Tim’s sister, who was now eighteen, even-gorgeouser and about to go off to uni so it would be her final summer before leaving home. She, for some reason, asked me, rather than Will or Tim, how to build a raft for that year's race, which would be her final fling with her hockey* team.

Unfortunately, I not only volunteered all of our secrets to the hockey girls, but also volunteered to help them build it, because I'd do anything Linda asked. Sad, really! Me, that is!

So following Will's basic concept, I designed a twin-hulled 6-seater and they would say I helped them build it but some might also say the girls watched me build it. Tim's dad ran a builder's merchant depot and we were able to use his yard, his scrap timber and, eventually, his car and trailer. However, the girls all mucked in with the painting.

Now, since we lads were all quite competitive and only ever went for speed, the concept of being in fancy-dress on a decorated raft didn't particularly appeal, but the girls didn't think that way. They wanted their raft to look good and for them to all be in fancy dress, but they needed to come up with a theme.

So I explained the limitations to them. The raft itself had to remain safe and sturdy and any decoration shouldn't compromise the paddling or steering, or be vulnerable to overhanging trees, and any clothing mustn't be a hindrance to anyone who should fall in the river.

They then came up with an idea that was, at the time, still just about acceptable, if not to ardent feminists: a beauty contest*. The girls could all then wear one-piece swimsuits, plastic tiaras and sashes with comic titles like Miss Demeanour and Miss Alignment. The decoration could comprise a banner down the middle of the raft with the title "Miss Trent 1973" on each side and there would be lots of pink and white ribbons draping down from it.

They also decided to wear fishnet tights and it took some persuading to get them all to wear trainers rather than heels, (which would be useless, if not downright dangerous, on a raft or a muddy river bank anyway!)

They had a 7-girl squad (including a reserve), and I trained them all in paddling, and especially steering, and was able to point out several hazards they'd meet along the way. So we were all organised and ready, complete with emergency supplies for every contingency, while most other teams were still burning the midnight oil.

On the day of the race we turned up at the starting site in good time to allow for all eventualities. Tim and Linda's dad had me and three of the girls in his car which was also towing the raft trailer while the other four girls were with his wife in her car.

I'd dropped out of Tim and Will's team to be there for the girls as the team manager and raft maintenance man to make sure nothing would go wrong, and if it did, to find a solution, much as Will had done on the boys' raft the previous year. That had got me a lot of stick at the pub for being a dirty young man, although I knew that it was one particular girl who had been the major consideration in my decision.

We had to park in a meadow next to the river and, while one of the girls was getting out of the car, her foot went down into a rabbit hole and she sprained her ankle. And in so doing, she fell against another of our girls, causing her to fall against a tree onto her shoulder. Both of them were taken to the first-aid point where a nurse said there were no broken bones but they'd be sore for a week or two. She strapped them both up but suggested that it wouldn't be easy or safe for either to take part in the race.

That meant we'd have to make do with a 5-girl crew, or so I thought. Linda thought otherwise, and half an hour later, after 5 sexy beauty queens had finished a rather one-sided discussion with me, my team manager clothes had been swapped for the spare swimsuit and fishnets in our emergency kit.

There wasn't much that the girls could do with my longish hair, but a styling brush and some hairspray made me look a bit less masculine. The fishnets disguised any hair on my legs, but being blond meant my body hair wasn't too obvious anyway.

The girls were all wearing waterproof makeup and they made sure that I was too as our turn to start got closer. By the time we set off in the race, we were all wearing life preservers but our sashes helped to disguise them.

The rafts started the race at one minute intervals and when we set off the previous raft was still in view so that became a target. But as soon as it rounded the first bend and was out of sight of the stewards, despite it being against the rules, the all-male crew removed their lifejackets and shirts, as would several other teams we'd see later on. They had lots of cans of beer on board with them too, meaning they would be on the river for hours longer than the 90 minutes we were aiming for and in all probability would be bright red by the time they finished.

Tim's parents, having seen us off, then drove to the finish, via a couple of places where they could see us pass, taking the trailer and both injured girls with them.

Now, with the girls and I all being in sports teams, we found that our sports ethic meant that we were taking it a bit more seriously than most, and were continuously using the raft in front as a target for overtaking. We went past lots of all-male teams who, of course, would all make comments.

You'll have noticed that I haven't mentioned Linda much. Well, that's because I, as the experienced rafter, was made to sit at the front as the lookout and navigator besides setting the pace so the others could all follow me, stroke for stroke. That meant that Linda was sat behind me and I couldn't see her at all. It all made sense but I would have liked to have swapped seats with her, if only for the view!

So our first couple of miles were uneventful until we came to a weir. For this we had to stand on top of the weir and (wo)man-handle the raft over it then carry it down the slope on the other side. Once the raft was partially afloat we'd jump back on it in pairs. Anyone who couldn't jump back on in time or fell off had to wade or swim back to the raft and climb on board. And all this in front of a crowd of spectators.

I was so intent on ensuring all the girls were safely back in their seats that I didn't see the raft which side-swiped us, causing me to end up in the drink amongst a clump of reeds near the bank. My foot was caught up in an underwater jumble of weeds and I couldn't free myself so Linda jumped in, grabbed my leg to pull me out of it and then helped me back on board. I thanked her, but knew that I had just blown any chance I might have had with her.

We went over two more weirs without incident and soon saw the crowds waiting by the finishing line, who gave us a great cheer as we sprinted the last hundred yards to the flag.

The stewards and Tim's parents helped us all onto the bank where the six of us hugged each other with big grins on our faces. My hug from Linda was special though, as she kissed me and then whispered "I hope you didn't mind, but while I helped you out of the weeds, I couldn't avoid feeling the bulge in your swimsuit."

"I did notice, but of course I didn't mind, since I knew you were helping me out!"

"Well, now that we've already been intimate, I suppose it wouldn't be too much of a surprise if you asked me out, would it?"

And that's how Tim's gorgeous sister became my girlfriend!

However, that was something for the future as we had to move our raft to the display area where the crowds could see all the work, or lack of it in some cases, that had been put in, before we dried off and changed into dry clothes.

We had to wait around for some of the stragglers to arrive before the prizegiving, in which Tim and Will's raft won again. However, my having given up my place on that raft had in fact resulted in ours gaining two prizes, as best-dressed raft and fastest mixed-crew raft (we had agreed that we would have been disqualified if one of the previous year's male winners was now spotted in an all-female crew), so it was a very successful day all round.

When we came to leave with our raft, there were more hugs and I got another kiss from Linda, causing Tim to later say, "It's about bloody time! You've both been pains for months!"

Tim had been aware of my interest in his sister without my actually having said so, because he'd noticed my glances and embarrassed conversations with her but, unlike him, I hadn't known that she would always make sure she looked her best whenever I was expected at their house.

Still, with her going off to university and me already a year into my degree course, I only had a couple of months to enjoy her company.

I formally asked her out and we went on our first date to a quiet (i.e. geriatric) pub, which I usually wouldn't dream of going to, but it was perfect. I related what Tim had told me about she and I both having been interested in each other but doing nothing about it.

“What do you mean? I was encouraging you for ages! I could have asked Will or my brother to help us with the raft, but asked you instead. And even after I groped you, I had to bring it to your attention! No wonder the subtle stuff never worked!”

“Well, given the circumstances, the 'grope' could well have been quite accidental, with me having my mind on a more pressing matter at the time.”

“OK, then, I must admit it WAS purely accidental, although it did divert me from the other matter in hand for a second or two!”

“So we’re here together purely because you lied to me!”

“I’ll go if you don’t want me here!”

“No, I’m sorry, I very much do want you to be here, and I was only joking, as you well know. And I’m still amazed that you’d want to go out with a wimp like me.”

So, we crossed our first hurdle and enjoyed a couple of hours in which there weren’t any awkward silences. However, she may have got me to reveal more than I should have done about her brother, although she did the same.

So I walked her home but before we got there she took me down the access road to a slightly secluded block of garages, and said “I think we can probably say our goodbyes here, away from any prying eyes near my front door, don’t you?”

My immediate thought was that I was being dumped on our first date. However, that was proved wrong when I was ferociously attacked by a gorgeous girl attempting to suck my teeth out. I meekly went along with it, safe in the knowledge that all my teeth were my own.

Ten minutes later we arrived at her front door and she said “Thanks for a lovely evening,” quickly kissed me on the cheek and went inside ...which of course was all for show as we’d already made arrangements for our next date and I was mentally calculating how long it was since my last dental checkup.

I'd known that Linda would be studying history at university and, being rather clever (assuming she would achieve the right A-level grades), it would be Oxford University, THE Oxford University! However, I'd now learned that she would be at a women's college, living in the college itself, meaning that there were rules about male visitors which would have to be obeyed.

Linda and I still hadn't fallen out by the time I went back to Oxford by train, loaded down with two suitcases, one of which, as ever, came in useful as a seat otherwise I'd have needed to stand for a few hours.

The university's terms were shorter than those of us mere mortal students, even having different names (Michaelmas, Hilary and Trinity for our Autumn, Spring and Summer terms), and Linda would follow in a couple of weeks.

So I was settled in and hard at work before she even arrived. I met her at the station and we took a taxi to her college, which looked old but wasn't, since women's colleges had been, for the University, a controversial late Victorian innovation.

At Linda's college, she showed me round the bits we evil men were allowed to see, using the map she'd been sent, and then I showed her round the city.

Having lived in Oxford for a year, I knew my way around, not only the Polytechnic, but also to some extent The University since, rather than having a campus, it's mostly a collection of old, self-contained colleges dotted around the city centre and its small cathedral is really the large chapel of Christchurch College. Anyone who hasn't been there but has seen Inspector Morse or its spinoffs on TV may well be faniliar with some of the buildings but won't know how they relate to each other. So I was able to give Linda an insider's tour, and she saw much more than she had when she had come for her course interview.

We looked in its famous old bookshop, went up the Carfax tower, saw the ancient colleges, Magdalen (pronounced Maudlin), Balliol, New College (actually one of the oldest) and Merton, passing many others on the way, to finish up watching the boats under Magdalen Bridge before I introduced her to that favourite of all students (and Morse, to be fair!) ...the pub!

So for her first couple of weeks I left Linda to concentrate on her new academic life and to find her own social things to do without being tagged along by an oik from that pseudo-university out in the suburbs.

At the end of the fortnight, with her having become familiar with college life, lectures, seminars and posh dinners, and having even signed up for a drama club and a hockey club, we reconnected and Linda came over at the weekend to visit my grotty student flat in a Victorian working-class area near the car factory. I shared it with two fellow-student mates and each had a girlfriend from the Poly who would often stay the night. They were all impressed that I had not only got myself a girlfriend, but one that was a 'looker' and was also at the University (therefore must be posh, as well as brainy!)

Anyway, both of us being away from home and with our relationship being at an appropriate stage in an environment where, unlike at her college, staying over was not an issue, we soon followed suit. Linda then would sometimes stay over and the nocturnal noise of amorous activities in other rooms may have lost us sleep but we were usually either drunk enough to not notice ... or doing the same ourselves!

Linda was soon staying regularly, since there was no option for me to 'stay over' in her college, although I never found out if the same applied to all the other women's colleges. She thus became friends with my flatmates and their guests, and quite often we'd all go to the pub together on Friday nights.

Then, in the February, the Poly Students' Union organised a drag ball. By this time Linda was into the drama club and brought up the fact that I'd done drag before and it might be a hoot if we all did it. She persuaded the other four of us to go too, and the girlfriends had great fun organising us lads and finding suitable costumes. They came up with a "wedding guests" theme - suits and dresses, big hats and buttonhole flowers.

I had thought that Linda and I, being of similar sizes, would be able to mostly just swap clothes to some extent, but apparently things don't work like that. Although to us men, a man's suit of the right size would look fine on a girl, to the girls it wasn't good enough and Liz, who was a fashion student, volunteered to alter some men's suits to fit their curves, and to avoid ruining our perfectly good men's suits, which may not have had enough material in some places anyway! That meant that we'd have to buy three second-hand suits, which wouldn't cost much in charity shops.

The girls especially enjoyed kitting out their men in pretty dresses, heels and wedding hats although a lot of charity shops needed to be toured before everything was found in appropriate sizes.

So, three short men with unconvincing moustaches and very obvious female curves arrived at the ball (a disco, really!) and on their arms were one quite presentable 'girl' and two who really weren't (according to all three real girls!) despite having been given wonderfully-done makeovers!

We all had a great time, showing off our handiwork and admiring that of others. Some had gone to great lengths like shaving off their beards or having a female crew-cut, while one or two just went through the motions, being in their normal clothes with only a pink hat or a mascara moustache as their costume.

And when we got home, our flat was very noisy for a few hours as three temporary girls were seduced by three short 'men' with wonky or missing moustaches.

As spring turned into summer, we learned that there was a raft race nearby and, led by Linda and me, we organised the 'wedding guests' into a team and were able to borrow the raft from last summer, which was still in Linda's dad's yard. Her parents offered to stay for the weekend of the race and bring the raft and trailer.

Linda's powers of persuasion then came into play, and her suggestion that we all use the beauty contest theme again was accepted. It would only need more fishnets, swimsuits and a different year and river name on the banner and, having all done the drag thing before, we lads were easily persuaded to do it again.

This time, we decided we should all have names and name-badges to suit, so I became Stephanie and Linda became Lyndon.

We made the changes to the raft on the Saturday afternoon then Linda's folks took the two of us for a meal at their hotel in the evening before both of us went back to our respective lodgings in order to obey the proprieties in front of her parents.

The race itself went without incident; we didn't win any prizes and Linda had no opportunity for intimacy, but we still had fun. Linda's parents left with the raft straight after the race and the crew again had an enjoyable evening at the flat.

At this time moves were being made to make all the colleges co-educational at last and Linda was feeling that it was very unfair that she had to come over to my flat most weekends, since no man (i.e. me) could stay in hers. So, as the end of her summer term was nigh, she reckoned that she'd like me to correct that anomaly. Now it's part of folklore that some young men used to risk injury, and being caught, to climb up to a lady's chamber. However, I'm the young man who had to be helped to climb onto a raft by a girl so I was confident that that wasn't going to work for me. But Linda then had another suggestion. She would invite her friend Stephanie to visit for the weekend.

So, having had a few weeks of girl-training from Linda and assistance from our flat's Poly girls with makeup and especially with clothes that Linda had never been seen in, I was despatched by bus with my weekend case into the city centre. I was chatted up on the bus by a lad I vaguely recognised from the Poly, but I wasn't found out ... I think!

I'd arranged that we'd meet at the station, pretending I'd just arrived by train from our home town, and she and I both went to the loo there so she could check that my disguise would work. Of course she had to make some small changes before I was allowed to be seen in public with her.

We took a taxi to the college and she quickly introduced me to the security lady at the gate before making a fuss about an important letter she was expecting, a ruse which enabled me to slip round the corner to ostensibly look at the architecture while waiting for her and thus keeping me out of the way of any suspicious eyes.

Linda led me up to her room and on the way we met one of her neighbours, to whom I was introduced. Dilys made small talk with a big smile on her face.

"Do you think she guessed who I was?" I said.

"She didn't have to. I told her you were coming."

"No, but I meant 'Did she guess my gender?' "

"Like I said, I told her 'YOU' would be coming. All of the girls on this landing hate the gender rules, so I warned them, and they don't mind."

"Oh, so that's why she was smiling so much."

"I think she was impressed. I'll have to ask her later."

Then after a relaxed fifteen-minute welcome in Linda's room, followed by a half-hour chatting and drinking tea, we went out so she could give me a city tour like the one I'd given her not many months earlier. And I was amazed at how many places she showed me that I didn't know existed. It was like seeing the city through someone else's eyes, which I suppose it was!

We had a pub lunch and bumped into Dilys again, who was with her boyfriend Martin, and he, likewise, had a big smile on his face.

So we returned to Linda's college, this time just saying "Hi," to the lady on the gate without stopping. When we were back in Linda's room, one thing led to another and, apart from a warning to keep the noise down, we had as enjoyable a Saturday afternoon as ever.

After a change of clothes we could have dined in the college but we'd agreed that that was probably a step too far for me, so we went out again for an early evening stroll and a light meal in a quiet pub followed by (another noise warning and) an early night.

Late the next morning, we went out for a walk in University Parks and saw Martin and Dilys yet again. They said they were going to hire a punt on the river that afternoon and wondered if we'd like to join them.

And that's what we did, but it's very different to paddling on a raft, as I found when it was my turn with the pole. We did see one toff in striped jacket and boater perched on his pole while his punt drifted slowly away from him. His pole then slowly leaned over and gracefully placed him in the river ...to a round of applause! So I ensured that I was not going to emulate him, but at the expense of hitting the bank a few times.

So we then had a coffee together and I learned that Martin had also stayed over the previous night. This shocked me and I said to Linda "But you said..."

"I know. I told you only females could stay overnight, but I only learned last week that, with the college going co-ed next term, they'll be turning a blind eye for the rest of this one. And since you and the Poly girls were having so much fun getting you organised, we thought it would be a pity to not finish the job! Sorry!"

We then returned to the college where I said goodbye to Dilys and Martin, then got my stuff together and was ready to leave. And, having no male clothing with me, I would have no option but to return to the flat en femme. As we headed through the gate, with me carrying my weekend bag, the same security lady saw me and said, "I hope you've had a nice weekend with us, miss. And if you don't mind me saying so, you fooled me for longer than most!"

At that, I don't know what was redder, my face or the postal collection box across the road!

On the bus back to the flat I was thinking about the weekend having been my fourth outing in female clothing and I noticed the coincidence that the last three had come at Linda's suggestion. And, furthermore, it then came back to me that although it had been all five of the beauty queens who 'persuaded' me, the first one was also Linda's idea!

Linda's college became co-ed the next year and I would often stay over, but for some reason she still expected me to observe the now-obsolete female-only rules, inside her room at least!

And, for some reason, I suspected that my crossdressing days might not be over any time soon.

I could never say no to the gorgeous Linda!

THE END

[* In the UK, 'hockey' is played on grass, 'ice hockey' on ice, and a 'beauty pageant' is called a 'beauty contest'.]

The Gorgeous Linda ©2024 Suzie Dalkin