Skin Deep An Accidental Romance A Transgender Short Story By Tara Nicole Miller Copyright © 2024 Tara Nicole Miller All Rights Reserved. Word Count 5,000

Skin Deep
A Transgender Story
By Tara Nicole Miller
Ⓒ 2024
5,000 Words

My mom is a dermatologist, hence the title of this story. Big whoop, you might say, Well, it was for me, and helped me towards where I am today. Ever since I was born, I’ve been slathered in sunscreen, healing antioxidant lotions and oils, and otherwise provided the best skin and hair care one could imagine. As a result, even at a mere eighteen years old, the difference it has made can easily be seen when compared to my peers. And I use the term ‘peers’ loosely.

Loosely, because I have no friends and I am a bit different. All my girlfriends abandoned me when we started middle school. Well, I had one good friend, my next door neighbor Meghan, and a bunch of girls I hung out with at school. I guess meghan never hated me or anything, but apparently it’s not cool to hang out with boys after a certain age. And I use the term ‘boy’ loosely too, at least in my context. While I have mainly been forced to shop in the boys department, I have always gone for the girliest colors available (my fave is pink, obvs) and as tight as I could get away with. I have been able to sneak girl trainers into the cart, and other items of clothing when it wasn’t obvious which gender they were intended for.

It was obvious to the boys at school, though (I have the bruises to prove it). Well, I guess it was obvious to everyone, really, but, in order to placate Daddy, he had to be convinced they came from the boys department. Mom always assured him they were, and what could he say to that? Well, plenty, it turns out, because Daddy is a lawyer (ugh), and a manly one at that. He played sports through college; football, I think; maybe baseball, too. I never really cared, but he seemed to make a big deal of it to his buddies. So, long story short, he didn’t like my girly ways, or how mom had me take care of my skin and hair. How can you be against skin and hair care? I don’t understand boys at all.

Daddy almost made me get my hair cut once, but I made quite the scene. I tried crying first, and ran through the cycle of childish behaviors intended to get one’s own way. Nothing seemed to work until I blurted, “Okay, then I promise you this! I will go to your office every single day in a pink dress and Mary Jane’s until my hair grows out again!” The red of his anger turned ashen green as he looked around wildeyed as if he needed backup in his oral argument. But, I had him there. He couldn’t stop me from wearing one of Meghan’s dresses and prancing into his office, could he? Nope. So my medium blonde hair is midway down my back. And thanks to mom’s wisdom it’s super thick and lustrous. Course, Daddy makes me put it in a low pony tail and hide it in my shirt collar. But, he’s not with me all day, is he? As soon as I get a block away from home, I either pulled my ponytail up high or remove the scrunchy altogether. Depends on my mood, really.

How I got blonde hair is a mystery, I gotta say. We’re mostly Italian, I think. So, when dad was pretending to work late, I was guessing that mom was pretending to be faithful. I wonder who my real dad is?

So, I just started college last month and was placed in a mixed dorm, meaning both boys and girls, men and women, whatever. The weather’s been nice, so I escape my two male roommates whenever I can and study outside on the quad. There’s this one huge elm tree that’s my favorite and I lean against its trunk in its massive penumbra of shade. When the weather gets cooler, I guess I’ll have to find somewhere else, in the sun. So, I have my shades on, my pink and teal tennies, jeans shorts and an ambiguous, sorta, teal t-shirt. See, I’m still trying to placate daddy, so I guess I’ll always just be an androgynous fence-sitter.

I was lucky enough to get a scholarship based solely on my scholarship of all things, go figure! Turns out that homework takes on a bit of shine when your friends all abandon you. So, anyway, daddy dearest has no control over me, except maybe my access to the family, so I go along to get along. I like to go home every other weekend, so, well, I have to tone down my ‘sissy nonsense,’ as he says - what a jerk. And it’s not just dad I’m trying to please, it’s my two macho roommates as well. Oh, I’ll try to ‘man up’ for them, but, have you ever tried doing something against your nature, like 24/7? I can’t imagine the fresh hell that awaits if I fail to be a bit more manly. It’s not easy, let me tell you. But, it’s just clothes, I guess. And my hair, and my skin. Sigh. I’ve been buying soft t-shirts from the women’s department, but they don’t scream girl! They’re just t-shirts, but really comfortable ones that fit a little better.

So, I’m sitting under Elmer, the elm tree dontcha know, reading a chapter to Alannis Morrisette (I like the oldies, so sue me!), earbuds dangling, hair flying in the breeze. This guy comes up to me and yes, he’s cute, but probably a foot taller than my 5’5”. Kinda wish I had heels sometimes, but it’s just tennis shoes for this butch kid. Anyways, he says “Hi, I’m Derek. You have a nice spot here.” Well it was nice until about thirty seconds ago!

I find it hard to be rude, so I just say, “Sal; pleasure to meet you,” and reached my hand up.

“Mind if I sit, Sal?” He says as if I own the tree or something. “Is Sal short for Sally or something?”

“Something like that.” I don’t wanna rile up a guy that could eat me for breakfast, so I keep schtum. Then he just sat without me allowing it with my all-encompassing ownership of campus trees. What nerve! I giggled to myself.

“What’s so funny?” He asks.

“Oh, nothing, just remembered a joke about trees. Sorry.” Why the heck did I apologize? He’s the interloper here. Sigh. Maybe I am a wuss.

“So, you look like my kinda girl all relaxed and casual. Mind if I get to know you a little bit?” He asked with puppy dog eyes. So adorable. Stop that!

“‘Tsalright. You first.” Oh my god, why was I encouraging him? I need my head examined.

“Your skin is really nice and your hair is really pretty, too.” Thanks, I allowed. “So where you from? Me, I’m from Canada; Calgary, Alberta.” He blushed for some reason. I happen to love Canadians; they are always so darned nice!

“Oooh, I love Canadians!” I blurted and blushed. It was my turn. “Anyways, I’m from Denver, just thirty minutes away. I guess I wasn’t as adventurous as you were.”

“Well, it’s so nice here, why would you want to go away? You know, Calgary and Denver have some similarities. More extremes back home, what with it being 1100 miles north of here. You guys’ population exploded while we just barely doubled over the same time period, though.” I guess he’s some kind of demographic expert - interesting, though.

“Yeah?” This guy was actually kinda interesting and his voice is like baritone butter. My butter is more in the Mezzo Soprano range. Oh, and did I say, he’s really cute? Oh my god, dad is gonna disown me if I don’t knock it off. “I love both Boulder and Denver. Boulder’s like the laid back little sister of Denver.” I rambled. “Or Denver is like Boulder on Steroids, pick your horrible metaphor.” I smiled demurely, tucking a stray plait of hair behind my ear.

“You’re funny! Another check in the ‘Awesome Girl’ column.” He laughed a deep sonorous laugh. Swoon. But, I’m not awesome and I’m not a girl! Sheesh, how do I get myself into these messes? If I told him now, he’d probably beat me to a pulp. Turn on me like a wolf interrupted in the middle of wolfing down dinner. God, I’m weird.

“Thanks,” I smiled. “You seem really cool, too.” Why can’t I shut up?

“So, you wanna go for a coffee sometime? Like now, or tomorrow?” He tried, eagerly.

“Sure.”

☯

We decided on tomorrow, since my next class starts in like fifteen minutes. I took fashion design, mainly to get my dad’s goat, but it turns out to be really fun and interesting. I’m the only boy in the class, but it doesn’t seem to cause any problems. At least not yet, anyway. They all call me Sally, because, well, my name is Salvatore Evangelista - Sal E. for short. I know! It’s just easier is all. So, anyway, we finally started sewing last week after a few weeks of basics, history and nomenclature and all that. Turns out I have a real knack for it. Three of us are in this group (I’ve always hated working in a group - I have to actually talk to people and then do most of the work!) and we’re creating this like fashion week thingy. We’ll each have a garment or two and we’ll model it and market it and stuff. Yes, I have to model, too. Blush. We’re actually working on a dress right now, so…this should be a trip! To the looney bin, probably. Kinda wish dad would show up for fashion week! He’d probably turn green, which would totally coordinate with the dress I’m making!

“So, Sally, your dress looks really awesome so far.” Danielle said to me. “Mine looks like a bag from Victoria’s Secret or something.”

“Oh, come on Dani, it’s not that bad! It’ll probably be a proper Chanel when you’re done with it,” I lied.

“You’re so sweet, and also a terrible liar. You’re just so good at this. I’m all thumbs and monkey feet.” She said and I couldn’t help but giggle at the image.

Veronica spoke up, “We should totally start a study group, maybe Sally’s tide can lift all our boats.” Roni said. She’s a wiz with metaphors, unlike me. I like to use them, but they usually suck, and I’m so good at English, too, I don’t understand it. I guess my creativity lies in making dresses. Take that, dad! Do I sound bitter?

Yeah, I’m as bitter as a bitter piece of fruit or something. See? I told you I suck! Anyways, we decided on Tuesday and Thursday nights in the common area of my building. They’re in the next building over - all girls - co-ed I guess they call it. That term never made sense to me, but I’m going with it. So, we were studying that very same evening, which was a Tuesday. I even brought my sewing machine out and set it up on an end table. I bought one as soon as I found out I loved the class. It cost a thousand dollars, but I get a hefty allowance, so it was no big deal. Although it would be if dad found out. More bitter fruit rinds, I know. I’ll try not to rag on him so much; he’s keeping me in fabric and thread after all. Giggle.

The girls were really impressed with the machine and I taught Dani as much as I could, seeing as how she has monkey feet for hands and all. She was actually starting to get the hang of it, so that was really cool. I was gonna do my darnedest to get our little threesome the top grade in the class. So, I pulled out my dress and sewed the darts and the collar. It was starting to look like a proper dress and almost looked RTW - that’s ‘ready to wear’ for you non-fashionista types. Or prêt-à-porter for you French Canadians out there. Roni may be even worse than Dani, because she hadn’t even started sewing yet. So we gathered up all of her pieces of fabric and, “Oh! I need to go get my dress form dummy thing!” I had bought one of those, too, but I still didn’t know what it was called. So I ran into my dorm room and the boys sniggered as I carried out this little dummy with boobs. I guess you could call me that, too. My gynecomastia has caused me no end of trouble, though truth be told, I love fondling my little booblets. I hadn’t though about my little boobs lately, but I guess it makes sense that everybody thinks I’m a girl. I don’t know if my fashion class knows I’m a boy or not. Dani and Roni have given no indication and I like to keep quiet on the matter, although they are really nice and might not hate me for being a boy. I must think on this.

So, we pinned all of Roni’s pieces together and began sewing. I showed her one run, then had her do it herself. She actually wasn’t half bad, she was just behind the curve. Must have a boyfriend distracting her or something. Speaking of which, I actually have that date-like thing with Derek tomorrow morning. I was kinda looking forward to it with butterflies and locusts and nibbly little rats and stuff, because I’ve actually never had a date, boy or girl. Never been kissed, either. Have you seen that movie? Anyways, I was off in dreamland when Roni says, “Sally! Wake up! Um, how’s this look? She held it up to me. Oh, she didn’t back over the seam so it began unraveling and I giggled.

“Sorry, that’s not funny,” and I burst out laughing. We all ended up a giggling mess while our neighbors just looked up and stared at us like we were nuts.

“Could you girls keep it down?” One boy said. “We’re trying to study over here.” God, what a stick in the mud. Glad he’s not cute or I woulda been all twisted and confused. Now I can just glare at him with impunity. I glared hard and giggled. I just couldn’t keep it up.

☯

So, morning rolls around and I'm all frantic. What am I gonna wear? Oh my god! Why didn’t I pick something out last night. Oh, what am I thinking? Everythings pretty much the same and I’ve got nothing nice. He liked me the way I was anyway, so calm down. I jumped in the shower and shaved my peach fuzz, washed and conditioned my hair and all that. Then I got out and did all of the regimen my mom taught me. Lotions and unguents and oils, oh my! Giggle. I did think of one thing I could do different. A touch of mascara and a dab of lip gloss. I had some girly stuff, but it was just so I don’t look like an albino. At least that’s what I keep telling myself.

This time I chose a pink t-shirt, roommates be damned. I wore the same pink and teal tennis shoes and teal shorts. God, I guess I am a bit girly! These guys are really gonna let me have it! I don’t care, I wanna look as good as I can for Derek. “Well, look what the cat dragged in,” Joey said with a smirk. “Looks like you fell into the girly pond, Sal.”

I just glared at him, then I finally decided, “Oh, just...shut up! You…bedraggled beer-guzzler you!” My metaphors and descriptives were not getting any better; my English teacher should be fired. But, she probably has tenure or something. I was going off on tangents due to my dis-ease now. Do I have a disease? Is my girliness some kind of terminal mental illness? Sheesh, I should give my scholarship back, I must be a real idiot.

So, I hurried up out of there before I could get bashed by Michael, or Mikey as I like to call him. He’s a lot nicer, though. I don’t think he’s said anything derogatory about me, at least not to my face. Joey pinched my butt as I crossed by his chair where he was eating breakfast. “Eep!”

“What was that for?” I asked with exasperation oozing from every pore.

“You just look so cute, I could eat you up!” I’m sure that was a diss, but I blushed anyway.

“You’re a goof!” Was my best retort.

Phew! I finally made it to the cafeteria after running the gauntlet. Every guy on campus seemed to be hitting on me or doing some sort of creepy ogling. Jeez, I put a little mascara on and brush out my hair and suddenly I’m fair game. Yikes! Derek was seated at a round table near the coffee cart and stood when I came through the door. We smiled at each other simultaneously. What is happening to me? “Hey, Derek,” I cooed.

“Hey yourself, beautiful.” That deserved a proper crimson blush. “What can I getcha?”

“Um, do you think they have a caramel macchiato type thing here?” I asked hopefully. I love the Starbucks one, but at five dollars, I don’t do it very often. That’s a lot for a flippin’ cup of coffee!

“I’ll see what I can do.” He smiled and turned to the cart. A few minutes later he was back with a smile on his face. “One caramel macchiato.”As he set it in front of me he said, “You know, I don’t even know your last name.” His eyes were wide and blue and deep and…”

I practically whispered, “Um, Evangelista. Sal...via Evangelista” I dared to look into his eyes again.

“Wow, that’s a beautiful name, like Linda Evangelista, that old supermodel?” I just nodded.

“What’s yours? I asked. “Last name, I mean.”

“MacKenzie. I know, go ahead and make the joke. Everybody in Canada is named MacKenzie!” He laughed with his eyes laughing, too.

“I didn’t know that,” I admitted.

He chortled. Even his chortles are cute. “It’s just a joke. You’re so funny.”

So we went on like that. Witty repartee, or some semblance thereof, throughout the hour. But it was now getting close to time for my English class. Maybe I should pay more attention, so I can actually punch my way out of a wit paper bag. See? Metaphors. Major suckage. I don’t want Derek to think I’m dumb, cos I’m not. I’ve aced everything since I became a lonely wraith on these arid plains. Ooh, that one was pretty good! “I’m sorry Derek, but I have English in a few minutes. English 101, oh, what are your classes? I forgot to ask.”

“Well, all I know is I have not a single class with the most beautiful girl on campus, and that leaves me bereft.” Sounds like he doesn’t need English classes. Eyeglasses perhaps!

“Maybe we can match up next semester somehow.” I whispered a little dove of hope toward him.

“That would be amazing,” he said. “I’ll look into it. Here…” He reached out his hand. Give me your phone, I’ll put my number in.” I eagerly handed it to him. “Text me.” He said.

I just nodded and put my phone back in my satchel.

“That has to be the coolest looking purse I’ve ever seen. Is that real leather?” I nodded. “And all those nice pockets. Why can’t men use purses?” he asked.

“I dunno. That’s weird.” I hadn’t the heart to tell him it was just a satchel and not a purse and indeed he could own the very same one, if he wanted. Ooh, I’ll buy him one! Ugh, that’s a little premature, Sal, cool your jets! “So, see ya ‘round campus!” I enthused as we stood up. He stepped towards me then gave me a little kiss on my forehead. Oh, that was sweet! I got up on my tippy toes and gave him a kiss on the his stubbly cheek. Nice.

I texted Derek as soon as I got home that afternoon. Luckily my new profile picture is cute. Ronnie took one of me a few days ago when I was looking especially girly. I typed ‘Test, uno, due, tre.’ You know, since I’m Italian and all. Several minutes later he texted back, ‘cool, I didn’t even have to translate it. Italian?’ I texted back, ‘Yep!’ and then ‘how r u?’ God, I was forward. ‘I’m fine, especially fine after seeing you this morning. Glad u texted.’ I smiled. ‘Thanks, me too.’ Then a surprise came from his end. ‘What r u doing Fri?’ I practically bounced in my chair. I responded, ‘One class in morn, then I’m free.’ I saw the wiggly ellipsis going, then he responded, ‘How ‘bout a movie? Either matinee or evening, your choice. That is if you want to. Slapping my head cos I’m an idiot!’ I laughed and Mikey looked up from his book and smiled. ‘U r not! I would love to go! Matinee, I think.’ Omigosh, I’m getting in deep. He thinks I’m a girl; what am I doing? Sigh. ‘Gr8! Pick u up at noon?” Oh, god, I can’t do this! ‘Perfect,’ I replied. ‘C u then!’ Well, what’s a girl to do?

☯

So I went a little girly Friday, just for Derek, of course. I wore my disney tank top with dalmatians on it that says ‘Life is Ruff!’ It’s red with black and white, of course! I wore a black cami under it and wore a pair of black shorts, that look almost like a skirt, and red sandals. Can’t get much girlier than that. My roommates would just have to deal. My hair and nails were looking pretty, so I was standing tall and walking with a spring in my step. I felt really good!

Derek knocked on the door just at noon, straight up. Joey was home, so I was cringing a little, but still really excited. I bounced to the door and opened it to find Derek with a bouquet of flowers in this hand. He held them out to me. “Beautiful flowers for a beautiful girl.” He said, and I blushed and looked over to Joey, who was spread out like a bum on the sofa. He just laughed his fool head off.

“You know that thing you’re giving flowers to is a dude, right?” He said with a smirk. I stepped over to him and slapped his face. He just looked stunned.

Derek said, “I guess you were told! She’s the sweetest, most beautiful girl on campus and I think you owe her an apology.” Derek straightened up to his full 6’5” and stood right in front of Joey, who looked like a little boy in comparison.

Joey choked a little. “Um, I’m sorry Sally.” Again with the smirk!

“Not good enough!” Derek fairly yelled at him.

“Sorry Sal.” Joey said in a little voice.

“That’s better!” Derek said and turned to me. “Are you okay?”

I did have tears in my eyes, but I nodded anyway. “Um, I need to go put these in water. I didn’t get a chance to thank you. They’re so beautiful.” Your welcome, he said and gave me a kiss on the lips! Omigod! I went all squidgy and mushy, then I pulled him into a bigger, longer kiss and I think I died and went to heaven! Joey was peeking out of the corner of his eye, but he didn’t say anything, just looked like he ate something gross. I relinquished my hold on Derek and skipped into the kitchen for a vase. I filled it with water and arranged the flowers. I’d never gotten flowers before. What an amazing feeling! And they smell so good. I bounced back over to Derek. “Ready,” I said. “Don’t wait up, Joey!” I jabbed Joey with a little barb; we’re gonna be home by three probably. We turned and walked out the door hand in hand. I thought I could hear a small ‘faggot!’ as we closed the door.

Derek and I decided to go to the cafeteria for lunch as it would be cheaper than a restaurant - my idea! I didn’t want him to spend a fortune on me. Besides, the food is really quite good. We both grabbed pizza and we took a quiet table in the corner. I finally got the nerve to speak. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you. Please don’t hate me?”

“Tell me what?” He asked, a tad obtusely.

“That I’m, um, a boy.” I whispered. I felt my eyes get moist. Do not cry!

“Oh, that. Well, I did find your old Instagram account. Sorry, by the way.” He really looked a little sheepish. “I didn’t mean to invade your privacy I was just curious.”

I giggled. “Privacy, on Insta? I don’t think so! But, I totally forgot about that old account. I bet that was a shock!”

“A little. But you were pretty, even as a young girl.” He grabbed my hand. “And your writing was very interesting, too.” Then he squeezed it.

“I’m not a girl.” I admitted.

“Oh, you most certainly are. But, perhaps you haven’t noticed. Everything about you screams girl. I don’t care what the obstetrician wrote on his little card. You. Are. 100%. Girl.” He squeezed my hand again. I stood up and leaned over the table to give him a kiss; I was crying now. There goes the mascara dammit!

I sat back down and pulled out my compact and dabbed my eyes with a napkin. “You are so sweet.” I whispered. "Um, hey. This is my weekend to go visit my folks. Would you consider going with me? I mean, you could be moral support and maybe distract my father from berating me left and right. Would you be willing…”

“It would be my honor,” he said and it was his turn to lean over the table for a little kiss. This was fun! Well, the kissing bit, not the ‘I’m a boy!’ bit.

So we went to the movie and made a plan for the next day. The movie was amazing! I think. I didn’t really see any of it due to all the kissing and Derek fondling my booblets and all. The first time he tweaked a boob, I shuddered and he said, “See? Girl!” I giggled and practically fell into his lap. We were still kissing when the lights went up. I jerked up, startled, and looked around; everybody had left. So I went back in for some more of Derek's amazing kisses.

We decided to go out for a coffee after and just talked and talked. Then we went out to dinner and talked and kissed. I could get used to this! My lipgloss was getting a workout, though! I texted mom and talked to Derek and we decided to go over early to my parents’ house. I didn’t feel like it was mine anymore. Whatever. When I opened the door to Derek the next morning, Joey just turned away and Mikey smiled and stood.

“Hey! So you’re Derek? You’re the one who stole Sally’s heart, eh?” Mikey was so sweet. “Mike.” He reached out a hand and Derek took it and pumped it a few times, some kind of bro-ey thing.

“You bet I did. Salvia’s a great girl. I’m lucky you all didn’t steal her first, being roommates and all.”

Mike blushed and looked at his feet. “Yeah.” He said quietly, looking back up at me and giving a little smile. “Didn’t know she was available.” I stepped over and gave Mikey a hug. I whispered ‘thank you’ in his ear.

Derek didn’t have a car, so I drove us the 22 miles to my parents’ house. I got a little convertible for my sixteenth birthday and I just loved the little bugger! It was a cool morning, but I put the roof down and turned on the heat. I just love having my hair blowing in the wind. I had my girly sunglasses on and my nails glinted on the steering wheel. I couldn’t help but smile. “What are you smiling about?” Derek asked.

“I just love life right now!” I yelled over the wind. He smiled back.

☯

I knocked on the door when we arrived. I considered what I was wearing - I had on my 'Hello Kitty' T-shirt and pleated white shorts with pink sandals. I smiled, though I was trembling a little. But I had Derek with me. That makes all the difference. I could face anything. I leaned my head into his chest and we hugged. Just then, the door opened. I broke free with a start. “Daddy!” I yelped.

He sneered. “I told you not to call me that!”

“Sorry, Daddy.” I smiled to myself inside. “Daddy, this is Derek. Um, my boyfriend?” I said like a question as I looked up at him.

He nodded. “That’s right, sir. Derek MacKenzie, at your service.” He reached out a hand to my father. Dad just smirked and turned around, leaving us in his dust.

“Told you he’s a jerk.” I said to Derek as we entered the door holding hands.

“Next time I’ll believe you,” he whispered.

After we closed the door, dad turned on me. “You go upstairs and get changed! You look like a damned girl! And wipe that shit off your face!”

“Hey! I’m eighteen. I’m an adult now. I don’t have to obey your commands!” I seethed.

“My house, my rules.” He said. That was one of his well-worn favorite sayings.

Derek turned to me and gave me a hug. “Shall we go? You don’t have to stay and put up with this!” He said. I nodded and we turned hand in hand and headed for the door.

“Wait!” Mom finally appeared, shouting out, glaring at dad. “I’d like to spend some time with my daughter and her boyfriend.”

Dad was speechless and I couldn’t help but smile and give Derek a peck on the lips. I nodded, then glared at dad. Then Derek and I went to the kitchen and sat at the table, hand-in-hand.

"Hi mom. Nice to meet you, I'm Salvia."

The End