I just wanted to spice up the relationship and gave Janice the opportunity to choose how. That may have been a bit of a mistake.....

---

The one thing about relationships is that they are rarely fair.

Take us for instance. I have a good-looking wife and I don’t feel that I’m particularly a bag of spanners either. We’re in our early thirties, well Janice has just turned thirty and I hit ‘old git’ status about three months ago. We’ve been together for over ten years.

It didn’t take long for our ardour to cool and when we went to spice it up, it mainly revolved around Janice to make the moves.

She would do the stockings and flashy underwear thing and for a while it was great. Sex was good, but I honestly can’t say it was any better than it was before. It was like turning up the power only to find that you’re already going flat out, but instead of being on a big old Honda Fireblade, you’re on a little put-put; it’ll get you there, but with little excitement and it’s usually a lot of hard work.

Once again, everything cooled off.

I thought about this for a while and the only conclusion I could come up with was if I made some changes. It seemed the only ‘fair’ thing to do.

I spoke to Janice.

“I know things have cooled off between us sexually and I think I know why.”

“Go on.” she said cautiously.

I could see that look in her eyes and I knew I was going to have a hard time getting this out. I was going to have to tread carefully, as the last thing I wanted was for her to think that even after all these years of thinking she knew me, she didn’t and I was afraid that she’d come to the conclusion she’d actually married a raving pervert.

“Well, I know that it’s always you that makes the effort,” I said. Her eyes softened. Perhaps this wasn’t going to be so bad after all. “And I wondered whether there was perhaps something I could do to spice things up a bit.”

What I’d got in mind was maybe I’d get some sexy pants, like a body builder’s posing pouch or something similar and maybe I’d have to shave my body hair, but I thought, fair’s fair.

She looked a bit taken aback I must say and I wasn’t really sure how she’d taken what I had said, but I thought I was being clever leaving the ball in her court; giving her the option of making the suggestion in the hopes that she would come up with an idea she liked.

“I’ll let you know, but thank you for being so considerate.”

Well it was looking like a promising start anyway.

I waited for days and days and still I had heard nothing. Granted we were busy, what with both of us working, Christmas just around the corner and little time for anything intimate.

My head was doing somersaults though, going from one extreme to the other, from full rubber suits and gas masks, to a little g-string and I was starting to worry as to what might come forth.

I had to keep myself in check as I had to visit the doctor on the Thursday for a ‘pm’ appointment — one of those ‘well man’ checkups. It’s one of those things they do where they basically tap you a few times on the chest, tell you you’re not dead or pregnant and send you on your way. There was nothing wrong with me, but the stress I was feeling waiting for Jan and her ‘surprise’, who knows what the doctor might find?

By Friday, I was so tightly wound, that even if she were to look at me with anything like a come-to-bed expression, I’d have had an orgasm on the spot.

I wasn’t quite prepared for what she actually had planned.

---

Friday evening was normally the night of the week we went out. Very occasionally we’d go out on a Saturday, but Friday night was THE night. I had got home from work late in the afternoon and had fixed a light buffet-style spread for tea, that way we could basically eat whilst on the move, either while we were getting ready or whatever.

When she still hadn’t returned by seven, I was getting somewhat fractious. I had already started on a scotch egg, a few handfuls of peanuts and had a bath. I dressed smart, but casual and figured I would be ready for anything.
By seven-thirty, she was back and it was all I could do not to take her to task for being so late. This was our night out after all.

“How you doing Jan?” I asked.

“I’ve been thinking about what you said, and I came up with a solution.” she said, flopping down on the sofa while I got her a beer from the fridge. She was munching on a handful of peanuts when I gave it to her.

“You did?” I replied. I was still trying to simmer down after she hadn’t phoned to let me know she was going to be so late.

“Yup.” she said, without any hint of what it was that she’d decided.

“Well?”

“You’ll see.” She flashed me a wicked grin and after a fairly sizeable slug from the beer can, she disappeared upstairs.

Well I have to say, I was pretty pissed off. This was important to me and I had no idea what she was playing at or anything. I kept looking at my watch and the time seemed to racing away from us, if we were to be going anywhere, we’d have to hurry.

“You going to be long, honey?” I yelled up the stairs.

“I’m in the bath. Just be patient for heaven’s sake.”

“Patience? I’ll give her patience.” I said throwing myself onto the sofa and drinking the rest of my can of beer in one gulp. I went and got another.

I got back and she came into the lounge in the most delicious red baby-doll nightie with almost completely transparent thong. I nearly lost it on the spot. I made a grab for her.

“Not yet darling.” she said mysteriously, adding that wicked little smirk.

“But…” I started, but she just lifted my chin with a neatly manicured fingernail and told me that I had to get ready first.

“But I’ve already had a bath.” I complained. “I am ready!”

“No you’re not, but that’s okay darling. There’s plenty of hot water. Just follow the instructions on the bottle and when you come out, I’ll have your stuff ready on the bed. Now run along, or it’ll take all night.”

I hit the stairs at a dead run and tripped at least twice in my haste.

In the bathroom, I tried to find a bottle.

Nothing there that I hadn’t already seen.

I went into the bedroom and an old fashioned blue-glass bottle lay on the bed. I read the label.

“Ready Maid
Add two drops to a bath of warm water
and soak for no less than fifteen minutes.
Add bubble bath or perfumed oils if required.”

Once again, I got undressed and sat on the edge of the bath as it filled. Then I added two drops of this stuff (whatever it was) to my bath and lowered myself in.

It didn’t seem to smell of anything, so the idea that it was an aphrodisiac was probably out of the question. Sure it was having an effect — the effect of anticipation on an already overloaded libido.

I sank back into the warm water until just my head was out. I had already done my hair and I didn’t think I needed to go that far. As I reclined, I started to feel slightly strange. It wasn’t a bad strange, just different and I could feel it tingling all the way up and down my body.

I was quite turned on by this and eyes closed, I could feel myself drifting. It was marvellous. The tingling sensation got stronger and stronger and I felt myself almost floating.

“Well if this is the appetiser,” I thought. “Then bring on the main course!”

I lost track of all time and had it not been for Janice knocking on the door, I don’t think I would have got out of that bath — at all.

I stepped out and grabbed a towel.

It was at this point that I noticed the changes.

Now when I agreed to put some effort in, I had some kinky underwear in mind; something that we could have a bit of a laugh with, but breasts?

They weren’t all either.

I looked at myself in the mirror and I was not me, leastways, not exactly. I was like a female version of me. I was about the same height, which I suppose makes me quite tall for a woman. I had fair-sized boobs, which I wished I’d noticed earlier. I would have liked to have given them a test run before getting out of the bath and I was completely hairless from the head down, oh and my face too. Conversely, the hair on my head was longer, thicker, reaching almost to my waist.

“Are you out yet?” she asked.

“Yes?” I asked back.

“Is everything alright?”

“I don’t know. It depends how you want to look at it.”

“It worked then?”

“I guess.”

“Well. Come on out.”

I grabbed a towel, wrapped it around me above my ample bosom and headed out of the bathroom.
Janice was outside.

“My aren’t you pretty?” she said seductively and brushed my cheek with the back of her hand, sending tingles not unlike those I felt in the bath, down my spine and I quivered. I also couldn’t help blushing and I looked down. “And demure too!” she laughed. I smiled.

“Well don’t let me stop you. You’d better go and get dressed. I’ll be waiting downstairs.”
This was unreal. I felt like a virgin being seduced by the mistress and I can’t tell you what else I was feeling, but suffice it to say, I was trembling all over.

I walked into the bedroom and true to her word, Janice had laid out what I was to be wearing and boy did my pulse start to race.

There was lingerie that made me blush; not unlike what Janice was wearing, it consisted of a very tiny thong in sheer black and a nightie that was so diaphanous that there seemed hardly any point in putting it on. To accompany, there was a pair of seamed black stockings with a self supporting lace top and a pair of four-inch black patent shoes.

I was trembling before I saw this lot, but the trembles just got more and more pronounced the more I put on. By the time I had pulled up the stockings, I was already close to an orgasm. My nipples were on stalks and even the slightest movement caused electric shocks to course though my entire body.

I carefully negotiated the stairs and found that despite this being my first time in these shoes I didn’t find it nearly as hard as I had thought to walk — part of the transformation perhaps. I stepped into the lounge where Janice sat on the sofa. She had lowered the lights, set candles all over the place and had even put some soft, seductive music on the stereo.

“Come here.” she said commandingly. I went and stood before her, still trembling and still just on the verge of orgasm. “That’s a good girl. Now kneel down.”

I knelt and she opened her legs, drawing me towards her. She bent towards me and planted a kiss on my lips. I opened my mouth to allow her tongue access, fencing with hers and my mind going into a state of near delirium.

We kissed and the passion rose, as I lifted her nightie to pull it over her head.

“Now, now,” she said. “Let’s not get too hasty.” I let the hem drop and continued with the kissing, while Janice reached round the back and picked something up.

It was the biggest strap-on dildo I think I have ever seen.

“You want this don’t you?” I wasn’t sure — at all, I mean that thing was huge! The bath drops though made it impossible for me to refuse and I found myself nodding — enthusiastically.

“Tell me. Tell me you want me to put this on and fuck you with it.” she said.

“Yes please.” I said. I could feel in my panties that I was wet, God was I wet. She only had to wave that thing in front of me and I or rather, my pussy responded by getting hotter and
wetter. “Oh yes please!”

She stood telling me to remove her thong and with trembling hands, I reached up under the hem of her baby-doll and gently pulled on the skimpy undergarment. When it reached her knees she told me to kiss her and without hesitation, I bent forward and kissed her mound. She let out a short gasp.

“Easy.” she said and I stopped, pulling down her underwear the rest of the way, allowing her to step out of them.

“Your turn.” she said. I stood and went to yank off the thong, but she stopped me. “Here, let me.”

God, I could hardly breathe here. I was so worked up that any minute I was going to go ‘pop’. I let go of my thong and she reached forward and gently tugged it down to my knees, then knelt in front of me and pulled them the rest of the way, stopping only to kiss my mound ever so gently. I gasped and my knees nearly gave way.

She turned me round to face the sofa then told me to kneel on it and hold onto the back. I was glad to. The sofa was infinitely more comfortable than the floor had been and as I did this, I could hear the sound of a gentle humming, coming from behind.

I opened my legs and thrust my arse out and felt her fingers slide towards my pussy, spreading the lips to each side and inserting two fingers. Once again I gasped and added a moan this time too!

Then I felt it, the shiny tip of that monster dildo sliding along the length of my pussy lips, before it sank into me to the hilt.

“Holy Shit!!” I exclaimed and she pulled most of it back out. “Nooooo.” I groaned, just as she pushed it back in, its vibrating length sending me into near trance.

Back and forth it slid for some time - I have no idea how long, before she pulled out all the way with a ‘plop’.

“I think it needs more lubrication.” she told me. “Would you oblige?” I nodded, knowing what it was she wanted of me and I turned around and started to lick the length of the shaft and knob, starting at the base and running my tongue along its full length.

I could taste my own pussy juice on the black rubber and it drove me on, making me lick it greedily and hoping that it wouldn’t be too long before I would get to taste Janice’s too.

Wrapping my lips around its tip, I began to slide right down as far as I could without choking, pulling back to the tip and leaving a glistening trail of saliva behind me.

“That should do, now turn round again.” I did as I was asked and turned about, thrusting my arse back towards her. This time though, she didn’t insert it into my pussy, but I could feel the tip against my puckered ass. It hurt to begin with; that massive member stretching my hole as it slid slowly into the depths of my bowels.

I was completely wanton by now and was thrusting backwards against the forward thrust of the vibrating member that was invading my rear. Back and forth, back and forth it went, sawing in and out of my butt before she withdrew it again only to replace it into my pussy.

I was almost disappointed, but not for long as she inserted a vibrator into my back passage, twisting and thrusting, twisting and pulling as her pelvic thrust took up a counter rhythm in my pussy.

It wasn’t long after before moaning and whimpering, I came again and again, losing all control, flopping forwards against the back of the sofa gasping for air and shuddering violently.

Good God, I had never felt anything like that before, but judging by Janice, it wasn’t over.

“Come here.“ she ordered and I turned shakily to see that she had removed the strap on and was laying back on the sofa with her legs spread wide, knees almost on her chest. “Lick me.” she ordered.

Christ, I thought she’d never ask, I thought and almost dived at her. Was that where the expression came from?

I started at her anus, twirling my tongue around it, feeling it twitch and pucker before opening slightly. I took the opportunity to push my tongue in as far as I could, but it wasn’t going to let me.

I slid up slightly and found her pussy. If I thought I was wet, I was nothing compared to Janice, hers was sopping and I had a field day, licking the juice from her, whilst probing her rear with my middle finger.

She was starting to buck as I began pushing my tongue deep into her, then removing it and swirling it up to her clit and then back down to her hole. I let a little dribble of saliva run to her arse and slipped another finger in, beginning the process over again.

“Wait!” she panted and handed me a floppy pink rubber phallus. “Use this.” she said and laid back again. How many of these things had she bought?

I pushed the pink dong into her arse. I move it gently at first, back and forth before locating the strap-on and using that for her pussy, pushing it in as far as it would go and doing exactly the same with the dildo.

“Yes!!” she moaned and gradually, I increased the pace until both were sawing back and forth at an unholy rate.

”Yes! Yes! Yes!” she panted, in time with the rhythm I was producing with the two toys.

I turned my attention to her boobs and took one nipple in my mouth, swirling my tongue around it and biting down, then sucking, increasing the suction, then biting again, whilst still pushing and pulling on the toys.

It took no more than half a dozen of those coupled with the dildo action before she came, throwing her legs forward and clamping them together, causing me to jump out of the way. Suddenly, she unclamped her legs and the pink dildo popped out of her arse as she reached down and yanked the strap-on from her pussy then fell back panting hard. If hers was half as good as mine, I think we may need to rest up for a minute or two.

Janice sent me to the bedroom and followed behind with an armful of assorted toys.

I was a bit sore after the shafting I had received, but I wasn’t prepared to stop yet. She dropped the toys onto the bed and I went for her, but she pushed me off, saying she wasn’t ready.

Well I was and I wasn’t prepared to wait.

I knelt before her and opened my legs as far as I could. I looked her straight in the eyes as I let my left hand trace down to my pussy, while the other pinched and tweaked at my nipple.

I sank two fingers straight in then pulled them out and licked them as seductively as I could, before replacing them and adding another. I was away to the mixer, pushing my fingers in as far as I could only to remove them and rub, tease or tweak my clit.

I let go of my nipple and reached behind to and insert a finger into my arse. I could see Janice starting to breathe more raggedly and noticed that she was starting to play with herself too. I dived at her again, hungry for more of her pussy.

I reached out for a dildo, vibrator or whatever I could get my greedy little hands on and pushed it into her, while tonguing her clit for all I was worth.

“Wait,” she panted and twisting round, we got into a good old sixty-nine, both of us pushing and pulling on dildos, vibrators or whatever, I don’t know and licking until our jaws felt like they were going to fall off, orgasming it seemed, time and time again.

I thought that would be that, but she looked at me with a wicked smile and reached under the pillow, retrieving a double-ended dildo. My eyes went wide, for not only was it incredibly long, but it was as wide as I have ever seen. She put one end in her mouth sucking at the end of it then doing the same with the other end. Taking it out of her mouth, dripping with saliva, she pushed it into my pussy. I squealed.

There I was laying, legs akimbo with this huge red double dong hanging out of me when she positioned herself at the other end and slid onto it. With deft motion, she was pulling out of her while at the same time, pushing it into me, only moments later to reverse the action.

I was off again, heading for another blinding orgasm, working my clit as gently as I could now with my fingers.

We fell asleep on top of the bed and when I awoke, I was back to normal, surrounded by sex toys and Janice and still wearing the baby-doll.

---

I have to say I had a sore bum and I was more than a little embarrassed by wearing the nightie. I went to take it off.

“No, leave it.” said Janice.

“Okay.” I said, but I felt really self conscious, especially with the stockings.

“Are you going to make some tea or coffee?”

“I hadn’t planned to, but okay.” I went downstairs. The candles were guttering and spitting after having been left the night before, so I blew them all out. I also retrieved the thongs and wondered whether I shouldn’t put mine back on to finish the look.

I looked down at myself and apart from the fact I was still completely hairless, both bodily and facially, I was pretty much as I thought I should be. I did like the feeling of the flimsy material of the nightie-set that Janice had bought for me against my smooth skin and actually couldn’t resist putting on my thong. I stood in the kitchen in stockings, thong and a baby-doll nightie, making instant coffee.

Strangely, it didn’t feel odd. Perhaps that was because of last night.

I returned to the bedroom to find Janice under the covers and the array of toys we had shared the bed with last night had been hidden away. Janice must have known what I was thinking.

“I’m too sore for anymore today.” she said smiling sweetly. “But you look very nice this morning.”

“Why thank you. As do you. It was good, wasn’t it?”

“Blindingly good.” she replied.

We lay there, side by side and under the covers we were holding hands. Every so often I would look at her or she at me and we’d giggle. I did feel naughty in that nightie.

“Do you think Candy can come out to play again tonight, if I’m not too sore?”

“Who?”

“Candy.” said Janice giggling. “Can she come out to play?”

I smiled. I liked that. I had a new name and it was Candy. “I guess so. I mean I see no reason why not.”

---

After last night, the thought of a repeat performance was making my legs weak and my head was probably best described as on another planet.

Janice was quite cool about it, but then she hadn’t been ‘changed’ in quite the same way, so for me, the whole experience was something else entirely.

Anyway, the nervousness subsided as the day wore on and while Janice went shopping, I fiddled about in the garage not really doing anything to speak of, but biding my time until later.

Janice returned with the weeks groceries. I offered to help retrieve it from the car and got a flat “No!” She seemed a bit curt and I was shocked, but then her face softened and she said that she’d got stuff in the car she didn’t want me to see.

“Fine,” I said. “No problem.”

By the evening, I was actually quite mellow, but when bath time arrived, the pulse rate was starting to rise with the anticipation. Janice went first and I spent my time pacing. I was now at the stage where all I wanted to do was be Candy again.

I added the prescribed two drops of the liquid, but this time I added some of Janice’s bubble bath as well. I wanted to be as feminine as possible when I emerged in twenty minutes or so.

I relaxed and the smell of the bubble bath was quite intoxicating. Coupled with the tingling sensation that came with the ‘additive’, bath time was definitely becoming more fun.

I heard Janice pass on the landing.

“I’ve put your stuff out on the bed Candy.” she said and giggled as she went off down the stairs.

I soaked for longer than the prescribed time, but for some reason, the necessity to get in, get done and get it over with I usually employed, didn’t happen. I suppose Candy was responsible for that.

I got out of the now lukewarm water and looked at myself in the mirror.

There was a definite pride I was feeling about the way I looked. There was no trace of manliness there at all and I wondered what on earth they put in that stuff to make it so effective.

I brushed my hand across my nipples and shivered, feeling that sense of heightened sensitivity that is normally associated with girls. Lord I was loving this and it was only my second go!

I dried off in the bathroom and sauntered out across the landing to the bedroom. All of a sudden, Janice’s secret purchases became all too clear.

A complete new outfit lay on the bed.

There was the classic ‘little black dress’, plus a new pair of ankle boots, fishnets, a lace underwear set and without looking, I presumed a thong rather than panties. I was guessing that Janice had a preference for those on me or rather Candy.

I dressed and brushed out my hair.

“I’ll do your makeup when I’m done, darling.” said Janice.

Makeup?

Well, I suppose that’s all part of being female. I didn’t even think about it yesterday and realise now that I could have been a lot more alluring with some on. Being Candy just makes me feel so sexy and anything I could do to heighten that feeling is fan-bloody-tastic in my mind.

I went downstairs and sat on the sofa and continued to brush my hair. This was something I never thought about before, the feeling of having your hair brushed or even brushing it yourself; heavenly.

Some time later, Janice came downstairs and she looked quite the stunner. She was in a mini dress, similar to the one I was wearing, only shorter and was wearing lingerie of some description, though she wouldn’t show me. I just got that ‘patience’ thing again.

We went through the makeup routine and when it was done, Janice showed me in a mirror and it was, well, startling.

“What’s all this for?” I asked, thinking that last night didn’t require all this nonsense.

“Well, we stayed in last night didn’t we? I thought we’d hit the town tonight instead.”

I almost fell over.

“We are??” I squeaked.

“Yes. We’re going out - you and I.”

“You must be mad.” I thought, but once again, one of the effects of this ‘potion’ was causing me to be compliant when told what to do. It did show in my face though.

“What’s up?” she asked.

“I don’t know that it’s such a good idea, I mean look at me.”

“I have and if we weren’t going out, I could eat you up here and now.”

“Now that sounds very nice, let’s do that.”

“Let’s not. I haven’t been out all week and I want to go out.”

I had to give in at that point.

Yesterday I was shakin’ an’ a tremblin’ because I was so sexually charged, but today, I still felt horny as hell, only now I was shakin’ an’ a tremblin’ because I’m scared shitless. I’ve never gone out like this before.

“Nobody’s going to know.” said Janice to reassure me.

---

We arrived at a bar in town, I think it was the Kings Head, not that it matters, at about eight. I was almost petrified, but Janice (an old hand at going out in women’s clothes) took me under her wing.

I felt self conscious because I was at least reasonably good looking and I knew what men were like. I knew also that we were likely to be hit on and I wasn’t sure how Janice was going to react to that.

When she returned with the drinks I asked her.

“Oh, I certainly hope so.”

“Why.”

“Imagine the fun.” she said. Now I was starting to get a little scared. Janice was one thing, but a full-grown man on heat, I think not. “We don’t have to do anything do we?”

I felt better now.

The last thing I wanted was to start getting mauled by some drunken letch and have to fight my way out of things. It also dawned on me as an afterthought, that if things happened in the same way as last night, it might be a little difficult explaining how there came to be a man in the bed where Candy should have been.

I was having my doubts about Janice’s ideas about ‘not doing anything’ too. I had after all seen her drunk or even worse for wear and it’s at those times that she’s most likely to let her libido rule her head. As for me, I had no idea what I was likely to do.

Several drinks later and I was felling decidedly mellow. I was starting to feel that warm sensation, signifying I felt that I was safe and sound. This pub wasn’t so bad and I felt in control.

Janice threw that out of the window though when she returned from the loo with two blokes in tow, both of whom sat at the table, one, Jeff, making definite eyes at Janice and the other? Well I’m sure he, Alan, could have easily been swayed.

We chatted and I felt my hackles rising. I could tell these two thought they’d scored. I ‘suggested’ to Janice that we go to the ladies.

“This wasn’t what I had in mind.” I said simply.

“Oh relax!” she drawled. The drinks had gone to her head and I felt I had to do something before the situation got completely out of hand. So much for her libido ruling her head, she was barely able to stand. She tottered about and was about to fall, but I was there and caught her.

“Come on then. Let’s get you out of here.”

“I want my toy box,” she giggled, grabbing a handful of my left boob. “Get me my toy box.”

It was one of those ‘demands’ and after the bath stuff, I had little choice but to obey. I pulled her arm over my shoulder and ‘helped’ her out of the ladies.

We got to the table where the two chaps were sitting expectantly waiting for our return. I could feel the next sentence coming before it arrived, though I couldn’t stop it. I think I was reddening before it left my lips.

“Sorry gents, but we have a date with a box full of dildos.” I frowned, wondering “did I really say that out loud?” and watched Alan dropped his glass into his lap. He jumped up trying in vain to brush the amber liquid from his trousers, while Jeff spluttered and sprayed a substantial mouthful over Alan.

With Janice more or less ‘non compos mentis’ I grabbed our coats and made for the door as the two men tried to sort themselves out.

I poured Janice into a taxi and scooped her out at the other end.

“Thanks mate.” I said to the taxi-driver and person-handled her back in doors.

The evening was an unmitigated disaster and I wasn’t pleased. I had got all dolled up and for what?

Thanks to Janice demanding her toy box, I was already hot ‘n’ horny and like Meatloaf, it appeared I was all dressed up with no place to go. Janice on the other hand, was snoring like a God-damned chainsaw and I was left wondering what the heck to do with myself.

I tried unsuccessfully to wake Janice and in the end, I covered her over with a blanket and buggered off to bed. I was laying there, the feelings emanating from my pussy were hard to ignore and I had no alternative but to start without Janice.

It’s not worth giving a blow by blow account here, since I was pissed off and believe me it’s a really strange feeling to feel like that and horny at the same time. I brought myself off as quickly as I could (which as it turns out was about forty-five seconds) and went to sleep.

I was woken some time later as Janice got into bed.

She had managed to get undressed and snuggled in with me. I was just happy we didn’t do anything with the two blokes. Anyway, curled around one another, we drifted off to sleep,

---

The next morning, I got up for a wee.

“Arrrrrgh!!” I yelled.

“Wasssamatter?” mumbled Janice.

“Look!” I said. She opened her eyes and the next thing I know, she was bolt upright.

“That shouldn’t happen.” she said.

“You think?” I asked. “What am I going to do?”

“Fucked if I know.” she said and fell backwards onto the pillow, moaning loudly.

There was no way I could sleep. I went back into the bathroom and looked in the mirror.

Now, not only did I still have waist-length hair, I was also still sporting my or Candy’s mammalian protruberances, as Frank Zappa put it.

Now I was in the shit.

---

I was still studying the small print on the bottle of potion Janice had brought back on Friday when she finally made an appearance.

“You made it down here then?”

“Shhhhhhhh!” she shushed and looked a complete mess.

“There’s coffee in the jug.” I said and went back to the bottle.

Janice slumped in the chair opposite, her eyes barely even piss-holes in the snow. I felt sorry for her, but at the same time, I didn’t. I was far too busy worrying about my breasts.

I’d read the bottle over and over and nothing.

I was at a complete loss.

“Where you bought this, were you told anything?”

“Just to read the instructions.”

“Well, is this it?” I was referring of course to the ‘two droplets’ statement I had read. It seemed a bit too simple to be called instructions, more like directions.

“Oh. I think there was something else.”

“Hallelujah! Well do you think you can find it?”

“Later, can’t you see I’m suffering?”

“Suffering? You’ve got a bloody hangover. I’m in dead shit here. If I don’t get this cleared up, I can’t go to work.”

“Why?”

“Hello? Earth calling Janice, earth calling Janice. BOOBS you prize pillock!”

“Shhhhhh! Please. I have a headache.”

“Well I’ve got tits. My tits beat your headache. Now fetch.”

“You’re a miserable old fuck this morning aren’t you?” she said, stumbling around for her purse.

I declined to offer any further comment on her present state and in no time, her purse was emptied over the table. She grimaced at the noise then slowly began moving things around.

Without a word, her finger propelled a piece of paper across the table towards me. When she’s like this, even snails pace becomes an exaggeration.

I took the paper and unrolled it.

“Does exactly what it says on the label,
providing you do exactly what it says on the label.” I read.

That was helpful. Not!

“Blah, blah, blah - AHA!” I said scanning down a list of unintelligible ingredients

“Caution! May cause subtle side-effects:
In rare cases, some residual effects may linger.
If this happens, do not reuse until effects have ceased otherwise further side effects may ensue and become permanent.
Side effects may take up to fourteen days to dissipate.
Always read the label!”

“Bloody Hell!” I gasped.

“Shhh.”

“Oh fuck off.”

I was definitely up shit creek without the proverbial.

“I’ll have to phone work, tell them I’m ill or something,” I said thinking out loud.

“I’m dying.” said a small voice from the other side of the table.

“That’s your own fault.”

It dawned on me that the hairlessness may also have been a side effect. That would explain how I still have the hair and boobs. I should have realised, but in my haste to ring the bells thanks to not having to shave again, I should have realised that that was part of the transformation and that I should have returned to being a hairy man, just like before.

So then I’d got into another bath still under the influence of the side-effects and as a result, was now under the influence of further side effects; some, all or none of which may or may not remain permanently!

---

Janice and I avoided one another for the rest of the morning, as far as was possible and I sloped off to the garage to be alone with my thoughts.

I’d guess it was lunchtime when a much more alive and well-looking Janice came in quietly.

“You want anything to eat?” she asked. Her voice had all the hallmarks of a much longer sentence that started with “I’m sorry”.

“I suppose.”

“It might not be that bad, honey, I mean, it might all be gone by the morning.”

“That’s true.” I said, trying to think positively.

I walked back to the house, Janice holding my hand firmly. I felt like shit. I was blaming her for all the crap I was feeling now and really, it wasn’t her fault. I did love her and she did what she did because I asked her to.

We ate a small lunch of sandwiches and I wasn’t the best company.

“Jan?”

“What?”

“Would you still love me if this was permanent?”

“Of course.” She came round to my side of the table and wrapped her arms round me. “I’d love you any way you were.”

I felt better, much better.

We went to bed that night and Janice snuggled up to me, her hands wandering all over my body.

I could feel the tingling coming from my boobs, turning me on more and more.

I turned to face her and she reached down to my groin and started to massage my member. I was getting all sorts of feelings from it, but it didn’t harden.

She went down on me and while she was doing that, I began eating her, but after a couple of minutes, we realised that nothing was going to happen, not from that end anyway.

I cried myself to sleep as she held me.

---

The next morning, I awoke and the boobs, long hair and hairless body were still evident. I didn’t even have any re-growth round my crotch, on my legs or under my arms to let me know that things were on the mend.

I phoned work and told them that I wasn’t well and that I was going to see the doctor.

“Doctor?” enquired Janice.

“Well, I might be off for a fortnight and I’ll need him to sign me off. Plus there’s the other problem.”

“Ah.” she said, nodding knowingly.

She thought I was very brave and I didn’t like to tell her that I hadn’t gone yet. There were still six hours between now and when my appointment was. It was well long enough for me to back out, but I did go when the time came and Janice joined me. I wore a coat to try and mask the boobs, but I could do nothing to hide them completely. The stares were a little disconcerting.

“Ah, Mr. Jenkins.” said the doctor. “Haven’t we just seen you for the ‘Well man’ check up?”

“Yes. Last week.”

“So what seems to be the problem?”

“This.” I said and lifted my sweatshirt. The doctor’s eyes bulged and he spluttered a couple of times.

“My God, man. You’ve got huge ti- er, breasts!”

“I know and that’s not all.” I told him about the other ‘problem’.

“And this all came about how?” he enquired. I told him, obviously leaving out the sex scenes.

“Ah!” he said. “I’ve heard about this stuff. Damned dangerous messin’ with that stuff, if y’ask me. Shouldn’t mess with it.”

“Thanks.” I said depreciatingly.

“Yes, well. There’s nothing I can do old man.”

“What?” My eyebrows nearly shot off the top of my head. “Surely there’s something.”

“Not me. I’m a medical doctor, not a witch doctor.”

The doctor did sign me off for the fourteen days I needed to see whether I was going to return to normal, but it never happened. I retained the boobs, the hair and the hairlessness, but things did get better.

---

I returned to the doctor’s at the end of the fourteen days and we had a good long chat.

“I suppose it’s worth trying.” he said dubiously. “I wouldn’t, but then I wouldn’t have messed with the stuff in the first place.”

“I know.”

“If it all goes well, come and see me and I’ll get the paperwork changed.”

“Thank you, doctor.”

Well, that just about sums it up.

What did we do?

Well I’ve been taking baths almost daily; baths with the potion in that is and I’m now very nearly Candy full time. I suspect it will only take another couple of days to get there. Fortunately, the submissive thing is the only thing that wears off, (for which I am truly grateful) otherwise I would be in all sorts of brown smelly stuff now!

Janice is being very supportive, but I suspect a little more pleased than I had thought she’d be. I’m not sure about that, but the doctor has changed all the paperwork and I am now Candy Jenkins — female.

Fin