The Girl was Always ThereBy Angela Rineheart
 
He lifted my chin to his face and looked through me with his steel blue eyes. “Do you love being a woman?”
 

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During our second year of living together, my girl friend Debbie found my entire wardrobe which consisted of three boxes of female clothes, most of which I had purchased from thrift stores and stored in our attic. Once the questioning stopped about why I dressed, she got curious and wanted to see how I looked dressed with makeup. She chose a pink sun dress and pantyhose. I could feel her eyes burn through me as I slipped into the garments.

Then she asked me if I knew how to apply makeup, made me do that and put on my blonde wig with bangs. I looked great, and despite my embarrassment, could not hide my hard on. She told me that I was not the man she thought I was. She gave me one final opportunity to stay together by asking me if I could just dress every so often. That’s when I really came clean and expressed my true desire to see what it would be like to actually live as a woman for a few days. I also shared with her that I felt like I did not explore this odd thing that has become a pretty large time consumer, I might be missing out on a big piece of me. That had to hurt. She said that I made her feel stupid and began to cry. There was no consoling her. She left me that evening and went to stay with her mother.

I was sad but knew it was the right thing for both of us. The separation was incredibly painful. After all, we were boyfriend and girlfriend in high school. We talked a little about marriage, but I always put her off because of my quirky hobby. We spoke a few times after she moved out and during our conversations, she realized that I showed signs of being feminine, but she never wanted to accept them. I grew my hair out to my shoulders and shaved my legs and underarms and she accepted my lame excuses as to why I would do such a thing. She admitted to being a little suspicious but she was so caught up in her job and travel, that she didn’t want to talk about it because then she would have to deal with it. If the answer turned out to be what she feared, she would have to start over in another relationship.

She did not want to stay in the apartment because it would always remind her of the day she found my clothes.

After a week of moping around and feeling sorry for myself, I decided that I needed to do something good for myself. I decided to join the local health club. I was short in stature, and put on some weight after two years of what was like a marriage and eating out often. I met with a physical trainer that pointed out some things I already knew, but did not want to admit. I was out of shape, and a bit of a weakling. At 5’4”, I was already a small man. He asked me what I wanted to work on. I thought about it for a minute. Secretly, I did not want to build any upper body strength because I liked the way my shoulders looked in my spaghetti strap dresses. Then it got me to thinking about working out the way a woman might. I looked at him and asked, “What would you suggest I work on if I were a woman?”

He looked at me and tried to suppress his laughter. “Why would you ask that?”

“Well, I want a tighter butt, trimmer thighs, flat belly, and toned arms – not an 18-inch neck and biceps the size of canned hams. Doesn’t that sound like more of what a woman wants to have than a man?”

Then he smiled and blushed. “Oh, um, okay so, yes! As a matter of fact it kind of does sound like…um…..let’s see.”

He then regained his composure. “Women are naturally more flexible than men, which is one reason why they tend toward activities such as yoga and Pilates. You might consider signing up for those classes? I can help you tone your arms and flatten your belly.”

I could not believe how helpful he was. Of course, he wanted my business, so what does he care what I wanted to work on? So I went ahead and signed him on to be my personal trainer. His name was Craig. He was tall, had blue eyes, and a pretty good looking guy. I would say that he was in his early thirties. The rest of the hour was spent using free weights to tone my arms. Even though he was trying to push me, he was very polite in the way he went about it. After our workout, he shook my hand and complimented me on doing a nice job. He asked me if I had any tighter fitting workout clothes, than blushed.

“What I mean is, the yoga and pilates classes are pretty intense, so you might not want to wear baggy sweats." That got me to thinking about all of those hours spent in front of TV shows showing women in leotards working out. Oh how I dreamt of being one of those girls!

I nervously signed up for both yoga and Pilates sessions. The instructor was there and told me that I could join the class the next day. When I asked if there were other men in the class, she looked at me, smiled and said, “A couple.” Then she asked me if I wanted to take advantage of the 25% off discount spa and salon package for new members. It consisted of a full body deep tissue massage, then she leaned over and whispered, women get a facial mask, a manicure, pedicure and makeover. I studied her face. What was she trying to tell me? So, I decided to be bold.

“What if a man wants a facial mask, a manicure, pedicure and makeover?’

She smiled and looked at me coyly. “Do you want those things Mr. Rineheart?”

I smiled back and replied, “Maybe. How long before I have to decide?’

“You are given three weeks. After that, your discount offer expires.”

“That sounds good. I will let you know.” She smiled again. I smiled back and left the gym. My heart was racing.

I made my way over to the local JC Penney and went straight to the women’s fitness section. I picked out a jogbra, some cotton tights, and a scrunchie for my hair so I could put it in a pony tail. My intention was to wear the women’s things underneath my men’s workout clothing. It was more of my own private fantasy then any kind of exhibitionism. I returned home and started to but my new stuff away. As I was doing this, it dawned on me that I no longer wore male underwear….ever. Since Debbie moved out, I only wore women’s panties under my male clothes. I was not getting out much because I spent so much time at home.

If I wasn’t shopping for clothes on Ebay, I would be in front of the mirror practicing makeup application or practicing my hip shake in high heels. Tomorrow at the gym might be the closest I would ever come to going out in public looking somewhat “genderless.”….is that a word, I thought to myself? I decided to take a long bubble bath and get smooth all over. I rarely showered anymore. I loved the feel of a bath instead because I could take my time, relax, and let the bath oils soften my body. I don’t think I fully realized it yet at the time, but I was headed full steam down a road that would be difficult to return. A road called femininity. I toweled off and powdered my body.

Then I realized that I would not be able to do this in the men’s locker room at the gym. I giggled at the thought, and caught myself smiling back in the bathroom mirror. My goodness, my features are a bit “girly”. I stepped over to the full length mirror and stared at myself. I was wearing a light pink terrycloth bathrobe. I dropped it to the floor and tucked my maleness between my legs. I learned how to “tuck” while surfing online. It was amazing how my testes cooperated if I was patient with them. I could tuck them back up inside of me where they were before puberty. Then it was a matter of taping my penis underneath them so I could have the appearance of a flat front. (Just like a girl!)

I stared at my hairless, naked reflection. Do I really want to take this to the next level? I removed all of my female clothes from their boxes and hung them up in my closet. I fantasized often about venturing out in public as my alter ego. I liked the name Angie. My mind went back to the Pilate instructor offering a discount at the salon. I looked at my “male haircut” shoulder length hair. I wonder if the salon could give me a hairstyle that I could use for both male and female times? Hmmmm, time to look at hairstyles on the internet. I no longer had to sneak on to the computer when Debbie wasn’t home.

I found several styles that were incredibly cute and sexy. I used a computer program to paste a picture of my face into the pretty hairstyles. It was amazing! I chose three and printed them out never really intending to move forward with such a risky plan. I put my final bid on a pretty blue chiffon party dress on Ebay. I won! I fantasized about wearing it to a dance, masturbated, and drifted off to sleep.

That night, I dreamed of getting caught in the men’s locker room powdering myself after showering. The man that caught me was not offended or angry. He was curious and asked me why I was not in the women’s locker room. I can remember not being afraid, but just replying to him that I wanted to be a woman. He then politely suggested that I change in the women’s locker room. As I left the locker room, I looked at myself in the mirror. My features were softer, and my hair was full and beautiful! I even had small breasts! I just stared and masturbated at my reflection. Needless to say, it was a wet dream.

I took the next morning off of work in order to get in on the early morning classes I signed up for. Both classes were uneventful and very difficult. There was no doubt in my mind that I was on my way to losing inches, pounds, and becoming very flexible if I could stay with it. I stayed in the back of the classroom and kept to myself. I was a little afraid of someone seeing through my t-shirt and noticing my jogbra, but they were all working so hard, no one even gave anyone else a second look. I soon realized that this class was not a place to get attention, rather to work on you.

I sweated up a storm and needed a shower. The locker room was pretty much deserted as most people were at work or in route to their office. I loved the freedom of being able to work out of my house. The gym had private showers. I brought shampoo and conditioner. The one thing I like about taking a shower was when it came time to shampoo and condition my hair. I always enjoyed fantasizing about shampooing my hair the way women did in commercials. I looked in my gym bag for my stuff and noticed a can of Lady’s edge gel. I also noticed a small bottle of lube. I tossed them in to the bag the night before as a “wish I could” type thing, never really intending to follow through. But…………..the showers were abandoned. Nobody would notice, right?

I boldly grabbed it along with the shampoo and conditioner. My heart was pounding as I approached the showers. So far, so good. I had shaved my legs hundreds of times before, but it was the thought of doing something naughty that really got my heart pumping. I turned on the shower and quickly went into the fantasy in my head that I was showering as a woman. I closed my eyes and imagined myself getting ready to go out…on a date? Whatever, okay,…on a date.

I was running the conditioner through my silky, sexy hair…..then it came time to shave my legs. I put my foot up on a ledge and proceeded to spread the creamy gel up and down. The soap felt so good against my smooth body. I could feel an erection coming on. Here I was, NOT behind a locked door, putting myself in a position of possible ridicule. Not to mention, if someone saw me, they might want to kick my ass! It was exhilarating! I lubed in and around my ass and started to finger my anus pretending it was my vagina. I got past my second knuckle and started massaging my prostate gland. I got lost in my fantasy about being impaled on a man’s cock and and riding it until he shot his load inside of my vaginal walls. I came without even touching my erection.

I was feeling bold and headed over to the salon. I decided to stop being coy and see how the manager would respond to honesty. The manager came out after a few minutes and apologized for the delay. She introduced herself as Tamara. She was a knockout. She had shoulder length wavy brown hair, deep blue eyes, PERFECT makeup, gorgeously shaped eyebrows, and long eyelashes heavy on the mascara. I explained that I was a new member and asked about the discount. She smiled and confirmed that it was definitely available, but the best value for the money is a full package that includes a day at the salon. I started getting nervous and asked if we could speak in her office.

As we headed to the back room of the salon, I was taking everything in and recalled time spent in the beauty salon with my mother. When the babysitter was not available, she would bring me with her on her hair appointment days. Those were the early days of fantasizing about being a girl. When a child is young, he has no shame or inhibitions, so I naturally asked mom if I could “get pretty.” Mom would occasionally indulge me and allow me to get my nails painted. I was pretty much hooked on pretty things after that. We sat down in her office. She offered me a bottled water. I happily accepted as I was feeling my mouth go dry. I finally blurted out, “What can you offer a man during a day at the salon?”

She did not even flinch, and replied, “Well there are a number of services that men use all the time. We give pedicures, manicures, haircuts, ummm….”.I interrupted her. “What I am meaning to ask you is, um, what services in terms of a makeover…? She looked me, puzzled, and said nothing. Then I finally said it. “Can you give me a makeover in the same manner as you would a woman?”

Tamara’s puzzled look turned into a knowing smirk. “Soooooo ummm, you want to look like a woman?”

“Well, uh…yes, but….” I was beginning to back out…… “only if it is something you are comfortable doing…”

“Let me see your face,” she got up close to me. “It looks as if you have done some eyebrow plucking .Have you already started this transformation on your own?”

I was getting embarrassed and she knew it. “Well, I have dabbled a little bit….” She interrupted.

“Sooo are you speaking of a makeover with cosmetics, or just a hairstyle that can be male or female, manicure with tips and polish…? How far do you want to go with this?”

I looked her up and down trying to decide whether she was trying to help or ridicule me. I decided she was going to do the latter and with that I got up and decided not to go through with it.

“Thanks for your time, Tamara. I ummmm, I think I must be mistaken. Sorry for wasting your time…” and I was out of there, my heart beating furiously.

Once again, I let myself get caught up in a fantasy. I actually made myself believe that Tamara was going to make me look like a woman!

This happened before. It was a long time ago in junior high school. My best friend’s sister was a cheerleader in high school. When I visited, she use to flirt with me because she knew that I thought she was cute. It was a Saturday night in November. My buddy and I were watching a movie at his parent’s house and he fell asleep. She was just getting home from a football game and naturally in her cheer uniform. She came into the living room and sat next to me on the couch. She smelled so pretty. I was entranced. She knew exactly what she was doing. While we were making small talk about the game I watched as she slowly took off her shoes and socks. I could not help myself while I stared at her suntan nylon encased toes. She put them on my lap and told me that they were sore from being on her feet all night. “Would you please give me a foot massage?” I took her left foot in my hand and she started to rub my crotch with her right. I was rock hard in an instant!

“You like my pantyhose, Brian?”

“Yes.”

“Do you like to stare at my feet when I wear nylons, Brian.”

“Oh yes!”

I was ready to cum in my pants!

“Do you like my pink polished toe nails, Brian?”

“YES! YES!” I was rubbing her foot furiously.

“Why do you like staring at my feet Brian?”

“Because you are so beautiful.”

“Do you want to wear my pantyhose Brian?”

I was so caught up in the moment, I exclaimed, “Oh God YES!”

“Do you want your toenails polished Brian?”

“Wha? I, I, aaaah….yes?”

“Do you want to be a girl…….. Brianna?” She was bringing me to climax.

“I uh..oh God…..ummm, I don’t know,…oh God it feels sooo good…”

I shot a load all over the inside of my underwear.

She stood up, looked at me and said I was a freak. Then she walked away and went to her room leaving me sitting there in a pile of my own goo. I was mortified. For the next year, she teased me nonstop until she finally got bored and left me alone. I told myself to that I should never share this secret with anyone again. Even though I had many occasions that I wanted to tell somebody before I exploded, I never shared my secret again until that day with Debbie.

I was so flustered walking across the parking lot that I bumped right into somebody and fell on my butt. I looked up to say excuse me. It was Craig, my personal trainer. He reached down to help me up. “Are you okay Miss?...Oh Brian! I am so sorry. You came right at me and I didn’t have time to react….” His hands were much larger than mine. He made me feel so little. Did he accidentally call me miss?

“It was my fault Craig. I was not paying attention to where I was going.”

“No harm done. I just want to make sure you are okay. It was you that fell! How was the pilates class?”

“Oh,….. um, it was quite a workout, but I think it will do what I need it to do for me?”

“By that do you mean develop your body into a more female form?”

“I am a bit embarrassed talking about it.”

“Please don’t be. I do not mean to be rude, but with your body size and structure, you could have a pretty cute and petite woman’s body if you worked on it.”

“Please don’t tease me.”

“That is not my intention! When we collided, I thought I knocked over a woman.”

“Can you keep it a secret?”

“I am not here to judge you Brian. I am your personal trainer, so I would like to help you. Besides, it is a bit obvious that you shave your body smooth.”

I blushed. My cell phone was ringing. “I have to go.”
 
 
Odd. It was the gym calling.

“Hello.”

“Is this Brian?”

“Yes.”

“This is Tamara from the salon.”

“Oh,…um…hi.”

“I owe you an apology. I did not mean to embarrass you.”

“It’s okay, don’t worry about….”

“I may have something of interest to you. When you get home, go on www.outwardbeauty.com. If you are interested, please call me but not at the salon. Here is my personal cell phone.”

I thanked her and got into my car. My head was swimming on the way home. Outward beauty? What could that be? I was excited, raced home, and jumped on the internet.

It was truly amazing. The services offered at this website were exclusively provided to men that wanted to appear outwardly as female. I sat there staring and shaking with excitement. I was scared because Tamara was clearly on to me. But what did I expect?
I read about the genesis of the company. Apparently, Tamara and a few hairstylists and beauty technicians invested in a property in the industrial part of town and opened a private salon by appointment only. Business was not booming and all of the girls had to take on other jobs in order to pay for the note due on the office space.

Kristy, one of the hairstylists was going through a divorce and could not pay her share. She shared her story with the others about finding websites visited by her husband. They were cross dressing and transgender themed sites. When she confronted him, he confessed his desires. It sounded eerily familiar to what Debbie and I just went through. Like Debbie, Kristy was not going to accept this type of behavior from her husband, and they both filed for divorce.

Since business at the salon was bad, Kristy offered a radical idea. “What if we were able to offer a salon experience to transgender girls?” Her soon to be ex husband was their first client. That was two years ago. Now, 45% of their client base are cross dressers and tgirls. They were starting to expand beyond salon services. The special “coming soon” services were under the tab. EVERYTHING YOU NEED TO BECOME THE WOMAN OF YOUR DREAMS:

1. Femme portraits including fantasy sessions. (Bride, Princess, Cheerleader, prom Queen, etc.)
2. Body Foundation corset sales. (They called it “Custom hour-glassing”)
3. Female mannerisms. (How a woman composes herself).
4. Creating the perfect “high heel” walk. (The right amount to wiggle)
5. Flirting. (Control over a man)

I nervously called Tamara. She was very excited to hear back from me and told me that she thought I had lots of potential to be a very pretty girl.

“It all sounds so wonderful, but how do I continue in my male life?”

“Well, that is the reason I asked you how far you wanted to take it. If you do not mind me asking, where are you in your lifestyle situation right now?”

“What do you mean?”

“Married, girlfriend, living with a female, a male? Do you consider yourself Bisexual, homosexual, lesbian? These are things to consider when making a decision as to whether or not you want to live outwardly as a woman, or both. It is very difficult to do both, but then again, it is difficult to transition to another gender. You have to look inside yourself and make a decision.”

I explained what happened with Debbie. She responded with an “uh huh” as if she had heard the story a few times before. I found myself becoming very open and trusting with Tamara and explained my struggle with homosexual fantasies. She continued to nod.

“Have you ever considered the possibility that these are not homosexual fantasies, but perfectly normal heterosexual fantasies of a young female going through puberty?”

“Huh?”

“Let me explain. The girls and I have interviewed and performed makeovers on over 80 cross dressing men throughout our tenor at Outward Beauty. The answers we received from a questionnaire we have put together vary wildly as to sexual preference and fantasies. We have really gotten an education and can better give our clients what they are really looking for in a salon experience by getting the questionnaire answered honestly. I may be wrong, but it sounds as if you are feeling guilty about having a desire to be intimate with a man. If you were female, you would not likely be feeling guilty about such thoughts, right?”

“No.”

“So perhaps you will consider taking the questionnaire?”

“Well, what do I have to lose? I will take it!”

We set up a time for me to come and tour her facility over the weekend. In the meantime, I was getting behind on my work and needed to catch up. As long as my work was emailed in on time, my boss was cool with whatever I did with my time.

Okay, so now at least two people at the gym know that I am considering a gender lifestyle change. This is happening really fast! After catching up with work, I decided to take a few tests on my own online and see what others were saying about gender disorders. In order to get into the mood, I decided to treat myself to a long bubble bath.

After soaking and feeling very feminine, I powdered my body and painted my toenails. Another Ebay purchase arrived yesterday, so I naturally wanted to see how I looked in it. I opened the box and my heart started to pound. It was a strong well boned corselet white in color, garters, and matching bra and stockings. I liked the way it made my tummy disappear and gave an appearance of a nice round booty. The sheer silk stockings were pure heaven to slip into, and even more exciting to latch on to the corset. I comfortably tucked my penis behind the white silk panties and sat at my laptop.

“Okay Brian, is it Brian or Angie?”

I took a total of eight questionnaires. The results were pretty staggering. Six of the eight concluded I was female, and two said I wanted to live as a she-male. Either way, something was telling me to let Angie breathe!

That night, I dreamed of my trip to the salon. Except I entered the store as Angie. I was a woman getting a makeover at a salon just like any other woman. And boy was I a knockout! I walked in high strappy four inch heels as if I had walked in heels most of my life. I turned heads wherever I walked! After the makeover, I changed into an incredibly beautiful pale pink cocktail dress with matching shoes and clutch purse. I thought to myself, why would I want any other life? There was a knock at the door. Once again, the dreamed turned into a homosexual fantasy. It was a man.

He was at least four inches taller than I. He wore a dark blue suit and tie. He was clean shaven and smelled of a musk cologne. He took me into his arms and kissed me hard. I could feel my groin getting warm and moist. I unbuckled his pants and stroked his stiff cock through his boxer briefs. My panties were soaked. He put his hand down them and fingered my creamy vagina while kissing me again. I shuddered in orgasm.

He lifted my chin to his face and looked through me with his steel blue eyes. “Do you love being a woman?”

“Yes!” I exclaimed breathlessly.

“Do you want to blow me?”

“Oh God yes I do!!”

I dropped to my knees and pulled down his boxer briefs. His cock was partially hardened. I place it on my tongue and wrapped my glossy pink lips around his now rapidly growing meat. I took to it like I had done it before. He moaned with enjoyment and called me Angie over and over. When he climaxed, I swallowed it all.

The next morning was when I decided that I needed to see what it would be like to experience being Angie outside of my own apartment. I entered my new profile in a transgender dating website. I was now [email protected]

My profile had a brief explanation about how I wanted to go out in public as Angie, but was always a big chicken when it came to venturing out. I also wrote that I was curious about being on the arm of a man, but was not sure if that is truly what I wanted. I took a few snapshots after getting fully made up and wore a pretty purple cotton sundress with suntan pantyhose. I added them to the website. I was surprised at the many responses I received after only one day. I chose a man named Todd. He lived a few towns over from me. He seemed clean. He was honest about being married. He was curious what it would be like to date a tgirl and found my photo to be close to a genuine girl.

That comment encouraged me to go out and meet him. He made mention of a bar where lots of tgirls went so I would feel less self conscience. The bar was in a city that was over an hour away for me to drive, but that was okay because I needed a hotel room to change into Angie anyway. I did not want to walk out of the apartment and take the chance of a neighbor seeing me as a woman. We exchanged a few emails and decided to just take it slowly and see what happened.

Todd asked if I had any other photos. When I explained that I was just getting started and did not, he offered to take some if I had a place. I really wanted to take him up on it but explained that I was not yet comfortable showing him where I was staying. He then suggested that we just continue to chat. He would bring his camera in case things went well, and I began to feel comfortable. He sent a few more pics of himself. One picture with a suit and tie and another with his shirt off. It was really weird because I felt funny looking at his pics. He was a good looking man but I was not attracted to him the way I would be attracted to a pretty girl. Was this a mistake?

So I decided to try an experiment. I would take a bath, get dressed in some pretty lingerie, stockings and heels….just get really feeling “girly”. Them I would look at Todd’s pictures and see how I felt. Well, the results were pretty amazing. It seems that when I am fully in “Girl-mode, I want to be with a man. He suddenly became attractive to me! I noticed the color of his eyes, his hairy chest, and his sexy smile. I fantasized about having him hold me with his big strong arms….it was bizarre! The only way I could explain it is, the more feminine I became, the more I wanted it to seem more natural, therefore, I wanted it to be ….a man….with….a woman. And I so much wanted to play the role of woman! For the first time in my life, I masturbated to a picture of a man.
 
 
The next day was my appointment to visit Tamara’s place. She met me at the door and a huge hug.

“I am so glad that you opened up to me! You are going to be such a pretty girl.”

“Oh please.” I said. “I’ll bet you say that to all the tgirls.” We both laughed.

She gave me a tour of the whole facility. The more I saw, the more I wanted to make an appointment and get pampered like a woman. Tamara encouraged me to get into “girl-mode” while walking around. “What size heels do you wear Angie? I would love to see how well you have learned to handle a woman’s wiggle. Are you wearing pantyhose under your sweats?” Boy, did she know me. I was. I told her that I wore a woman’s size ten. She walked over too an upright dresser and pulled out a pair of four inch black patent leather pumps.

“Why don’t you slip into these for the rest of the tour?”

I was past the point of embarrassment and only too happy to indulge myself. I got up on the balls of my feet and started to strutt a bit. She whistled. “Very nice Angie. I can see that you have been practicing!”

I smiled and said, “Every second that I have an opportunity! Hey Tamara, I have a question. What exactly is custom hourglassing?”

“Well my dear girl, it is simply giving yourself a gift of a woman’s shape. We custom fit you into a corset that you will not want to remove because it gives you the sexy shape you “GURLS” dream about. Is that something that interests you?”

I was full steam ahead in Angie mode. “Oh Tamara, if you only knew! The more I think about getting dolled up, the further I want to take it.”

“Do you mean actually live 24/7 as a woman?”

“I am honestly not absolutely sure. There are some reservations. I mean what about…” she put her finger up to my mouth and said, “Let’s get you a questionnaire and that will give us a lot of answers as to how far we should dip your painted toes in the water?”

I smiled and nodded. The tour continued and I swayed my hips getting ever more comfortable in the female role.

At the end of the tour, Tamara handed me an eight page questionnaire with the title, Are you a girl or a boy?....CHOOSE!

My lower region stirred. Most of the questionnaire was pretty easy, and even though it was lengthy, I did not mind because I was spending time in an environment that allowed me to act female without judging. Some of the questions were so Black and white, I felt like I wanted to answer it with a gray matter, but was not given the choice. On all of those occasions, I chose the answer that fell on the feminine side. After turning it in, there was little doubt in my mind that Tamara would tell me that I should have a sex change. Even though the thought excited me to no end, there was something inside of me that was telling me to follow my dreams, but my dreams did not necessarily mean having a vagina.

I started thinking about Kristy and how painful her divorce must have been. How much input did she have on this questionnaire? Why was it so black and white? Why can’t I be a Tgirl and keep my penis? Why does it seem like they are they pushing me to become a woman? My guess is that Kristy did not do much research on transvestites and cross dressers. She may have believed that you should choose one or the other, and not have an option to be an “in between” gender. Well, it doesn’t matter. It’s my choice no matter what is recommended. It was getting late and I had a workout appointment scheduled with Craig.

My next workout appointment started out a little uncomfortable, but I decided to apologize to Craig right away. I walked right up and looked at his chest. He towered over me. I looked up.

“Hi Craig. I am sorry for leaving so abruptly. I just got a little embarrassed.”

Craig said he completely understood and was very proud of my progress. He called me his “Mighty Mite project” and put his hands on my shoulders.

I smiled broadly. What a sweet guy, I said to myself. The gym was very quiet. There was hardly anyone there.

“Craig, where is everybody?”

“Today is the only day that personal trainers take a day off. Most everybody is at the beach.”

“I don’t understand. Why did you schedule time with me?”

“I forgot about it.”

“Craig! You could have called me and rescheduled…..”

“Could I?”

“Could you what?”

“Call you.”

“Of course you can.”

“Well, now that I have your permission, I will.” He was staring at me and I became a little uneasy.

“Craig, why would you call me if I am already here?”

“Maybe I would call you for another reason.” He was smiling broadly. If my intuition was correct, he may actually be flirting with me.

I smiled back and blushed. “What reason would you have to call me?”

“Perhaps I might have an extra ticket to a ballgame,…..or umm maybe I would like to take you to dinner,….orummm,…a movie?” Now it was him that was getting a bit embarrassed.

I had to know, so I just asked, “Craig, are you gay?”

“NO! I mean, I never even,….I have never had thoughts like that. Let’s be honest Brian. You are kind of feminine.”

“I can’t help how I am built, Craig!” I now had hands on hips. For some reason, I was defending my maleness. I must have looked like a slightly angry girl.

“That came out wrong. I mean,….you don’t exactly go out of your way to show any machismo. Wait, that did not come out right either…”

I was starting to feel bad watching him fumble all over himself. I felt a sudden surge of the power woman talk about that they have over men. He was like this poor little boy trying to say the right thing after inadvertently hurting his girlfriends feelings.

“Okay, Craig. Relax. I understand what you are saying. What I am unclear about is the attraction. Number one, why would a handsome, built guy have any interest romantically to a guy like me? Number two; How do you see me. A guy or a girl?” I was beginning to shake a little with my bold questions.

Craig took an exaggerated deep breath. “Okay, here it goes. Before I tell you, can I ask you if you have ever dressed as a woman?”

I put my hand up to my mouth and giggled like a girl. “Oh Craig, if you only knew.”

“Okay, well that certainly clears up a lot for me. I can tell you quite honestly that I am attracted to you as a person, neither male or female. You have a bubbly personality, a great smile, a cute laugh, and you and I have a lot in common. As far as how I see you? Well, to be frank, I believe that you would be a complete knockout in the female role. You have high cheekbones, beautiful eyes, shapely legs. Shoot, you even have cute feet, and once we get you in shape, your firm butt….well,…don’t get me started! There, I said it. That was really weird for me.”

So we stood there leaning against the weight machine. I let out my breath a little and started in.

“Craig, first of all, I have never been attracted to men. I have always been a straight guy attracted to the beauty of a woman.”

I found myself compelled to not only tell him about Debbie, but this curious change that is coming over me when I am in “girl-mode.” I also explained my dreams to him. I could not believe how honest I was being with him.

He put his hand on my shoulder. “Brian, do you have a female name?”

“I like the name Angie,” I said sheepishly.

Then he leaned over and whispered in my ear. “Does Angie want to discover what her dream was like in real life?”

I looked up at him and then looked around. The gym was practically abandoned. “Are you talking about what I think you are talking about?”

“Well. Angie. Since the fitness instructors locker room is empty, perhaps we could have some privacy and see how it feels?” I could tell he was a little nervous too. After all, neither one of us had ever experienced a homosexual encounter and that is exactly what we were considering.

“I think I would like to try.” I could not believe the words were coming from my mouth. I was about to see what it was like to suck a man’s penis! He got up without saying a word and started walking away from me. I followed with a hard on showing through my sweats. We walked silently through the empty employee’s lounge and into the men’s locker room for fitness instructors.

“Well, this is it. Would you like to take a shower?”

“Yes.” I replied. We chose lockers across from one another and stripped. There we stood, buck naked and both with half erections.

“This is weird.” He said.

I smiled and he smiled back and we headed for the showers. The showers were plenty big, and semi private with swinging glass doors. I stepped in and turned on the water.

I turned around to find Craig right behind me. “Oh! You startled me.”

“Would you mind if I joined you?”

“Ummmm, no, I don’t mind. This is really going to happen isn’t it?”

“Only if you want it to.” He moved closer and put his arms around me. Our stiff cocks were touching one anothers. He gave a gentle hug and looked down at me. Oh my God, he is going to kiss……….mmmmmmmm. My head went back and I felt his lips against mine. I accepted his kiss, then his tongue. My cock stiffened. It felt good and I told him that I liked it. His smile told me that he liked it as well. We got all soaped up and started washing one another spending quite a while on each others lower region. I took hold of his cock and looked up at him.

“Craig, I am going to get on my knees now.”

He slowly nodded his head. There it was. This stiff, fat sausage staring at me with one eye. I cupped his scrotum with my left hand and gently took his mushroom head into my mouth. My right hand grabbed hold of my own stiff member and I began to stroke myself. I moved my tongue up and down the underbelly of his penis and looked up for a reaction. His head was back and eyes closed. I took more of his shaft into my mouth and he moaned.

“Oh Angie! I love the way you make me feel!”

That really turned me on. I was now fully erect. The uneasy feeling that was there at one time was now in the rear view mirror. I loved sucking cock! I wanted to please this man and was determined to bring him to orgasm, which turned out to be easy. As I licked and sucked, I felt myself explode.

“Angie! Oh my God…..I…..am….Cumm….”

I could feel it happening. He was going to cum. I wanted to taste it, and did! It shot straight to the back of my throat. I had no choice but to swallow. The next wave filled my mouth and I almost gagged, but managed to get that down as well. He shuddered and started to go soft. It felt natural to lick the remainder around his head. Then I kissed it.

“That was fantastic! I cannot believe that is the first time you have ever given a blow job.”

“The only other time was in my dream.” I giggled.

He reached down and grabbed both of my butt cheeks, then lifted me up so we were face to face. I wrapped my legs around his waist as he carried me and kissed me.

“Angie, I want to see you as a woman. Will you go out with me?”

My heart was racing. Being intimate with Craig was amazing. I can only imagine how much more exciting it would be while in female mode.

“I think it is what I really want. I would like that, Craig.”
 
 
Friday morning, I found myself thinking about venturing out as Angie and started feeling a bit apprehensive and edgy. I was sore from my workouts, but feeling great physically because my body was already looking more toned. When I was home alone, I was spending all of my time in my girl’s clothes and was getting lonely for some companionship after getting a taste of being a girl and interacting. I gave Todd my email address and “Girl’s profile” on Yahoo. He was really getting anxious to meet Angie and asked me to meet him Saturday night for dancing.

Even though I received calls from Craig each day, and felt kind of like his new girl friend, I was looking forward to meeting with Todd. I decided to purchase and bring several outfits including lingerie and let him photograph me in my hotel room. I had a lot of prep to take care of prior to checking into the hotel plus it was an hour drive, so I needed to start early. Before leaving, I painted my toenails a light shade of mauve because I was not yet sure of the outfit I would be presenting myself in. A shudder of excitement went up my spine. I was going to be Angie tonight. I was going to be a female 100% outwardly for the entire evening!

Between boxes for wigs, and a large suitcase for under things, half of my trunk was full. I filled a shaving kit bag with two Fleet enemas, and some Astro Glide lubricant. I wanted to be prepared in case anal sex became part of the date.
My first stop at the mall was to get both ears pierced. I was not going to the thrift store for clothing today. I was going to buy myself female outfits that were for ME! I was due a big bonus at work. Charge cards were getting MAXX’ed today!

I chose four outfits that consisted of the following:

Lingerie

1. Blonde shoulder length wig.
2. Spaghetti strap suntan sheer catsuit
3. Light beige 4 inch peek-a-boo pumps
4. Pink heart shaped earrings and pendant

1. Brown Jennifer Aniston style wig
2. Red satin teddy with lace throughout
3. Red satin corset with satin garters
4. Sheer red hosiery and five inch red patent leather ankle strap open toed heels.
5. Red ruby princess shaped earrings and matching pendant

Dress Outfits

1. Brown Jennifer Aniston style wig
2. Pale pink sheer long sleeved dress with pleats
3. Pale pink 4 inch ankle strap heels
4. Pink sash waist belt
5. Sheer pink pantyhose
6. Large princess shaped pink cubic zirconia earrings and matching pendant

1. Blonde shoulder length wig
2. Off the shoulder black dress with satin piping
3. Sheer black pantyhose with seams up the back
4. Elbow length black satin opera gloves
5. Black satin 4 inch peek-a-boo pumps
6. Large tear drop shaped cubic zirconia earrings and matching pendant

I filled up the other half of my trunk. I thought my heart was going to come out of my chest. My mind was racing a mile a minute. I wished that I was already in my warm, perfumed bath at the hotel, but I had a long drive ahead of me. Most of the drive was going to be freeway so I decided to pluck my eyebrows on the way. My earlobes were killing me, but it was so worth it. It’s kind of like the ache in your feet after being in heels for a few hours. It hurts, but is worth it for beauty. I was so excited; I was plucking my eyebrows in clumps. (I would fill them in thinly with eyebrow pencil later.) I just did not want any trace of male. Tonight, I was Angie, a pretty girl!

I arrived at the hotel at 2:00 PM. I had agreed to meet Todd at 6:00. I had four hours to get stunning! I WANTED to be stunning. I uncorked a nice bottle of cabernet and poured myself a glass. My room was spacious with a large closet. I hung up my outfits and put the lingerie away in the dresser drawers. I could not wait to get out of my male clothing and into the bath. While shopping, I purchased some fragrant bath oil beads. I dropped them in the tub and started my bath. I then cleaned myself thoroughly with two enemas.

After bathing and getting silky smooth, I used perfumed dusting powder all over my body. I felt squeaky clean which made me really horny. I slid into my high french cut panties with a little bow in front and squeezed into my satin red corset. I then placed and glued my silicone breasts on my chest. I placed them just the way the woman at the mastectomy store instructed me. The weight I felt as they hung from my chest was indescribable. I kept cupping, and squeezing them. I stared at my hourglass shape in the mirror and thought to myself, I feel so good as a girl. Why would I ever want to go back to being a boy?

I walked daintily to the dresser drawers. Since I already had on the red corset, I chose to slip into Red satin teddy with lace throughout. I do not know which was more exciting. I would have to say it was a three way tie between pulling the crotch of the teddy over my pantied member, watching the teddy cover what appeared to be bare breasts, or sliding the hose up my silky, dusted legs and attaching them to the garters. I could see my painted toes through the sheer hose. Craig was right. I DID have pretty feet. I pointed my toes and giggled. Time to wrap up those pretty feet in some five inch heels. I wondered if real woman felt as erotic as tgirls when getting dressed?

I would imagine they got a lot of it out of their systems when they were teenagers, but could not imagine ever getting this out of my system. I tightened up the straps and shook my derriá¨re over to the full length mirror again. The height of the heels forced me to shake my hips in a very feminine way. The way my instep was arched was really getting me excited. I placed my hand on my silky crotch. “Oh how I love this”, I said allowed.

My makeup was neatly place on the counter ready for me to paint. I had gotten to the point of being able to make my face beautiful in less than 45 minutes. Tonight might take a little longer because my lips were going to be larger and shinier, my lashes longer and flirtier, my eyes larger and more doe-like than ever before.

I was very pleased with my work, especially after installing the wig. I just stared at the woman in front of me in the mirror.

“You are a hot little number Angie,” I said aloud.

Then I smiled and winked at myself. My confidence was sky high as I polished of my cabernet. I wanted to stay dressed in my lingerie. I wanted to be taken sexually as a woman and satisfy a man. I decided to greet him at the door in my lingerie. I was getting drunk and I was hungry for cock! By now it was only 5:00, and I wanted him there now. I had his cell number. Should I call? We were supposed to meet in the hotel bar for my safety, but deep down, we both knew what we were there for. At this point, I did not care about being a sweet, good girl. I was ready to be a whore. I picked up my cell phone and dialed his number. He picked up right away.

“Yes, this is Todd.”

“Hi, it’s Angie.”

“Hi Angie! Are you getting beautiful?”

“Well, I am getting an “A” for effort, but I will leave that judgment up to you.”

“If you get even half as pretty as the pictures, you will get high marks from me.”

“Oh I’ll bet you say that to all the tgirls.” We both laughed. There was an uncomfortable silence. I spoke up since I called him.
“Todd.”

“Yes, Angie.”

“Where are you right now?”

“Believe it or not, I am at the bar in your hotel lobby. I was so nervous; I decided to have a few drinks.”

“Oh my! Really? I mean…..uh you are right downstairs? I must be honest. I have had a little bit of wine and I got to thinking about you. Well….uh….would you like to meet me up here a little early….uhm…in my room?”

“What room are you staying in?”

“I am on the 21st floor. Room 2155.”

“I will be right there! I cannot wait to see you in person, Angie.”

We said goodbye and hung up. What have I done? Angie is going to be with her first man and it’s in a hotel room. I looked in the mirror for some touch up and smiled. “You are such a little whore,” I whispered at the mirror. I was starting to get a feeling that I could not breathe and became aware of how tightly drawn my corset was. “Relax, Angie.” Somehow, calling myself by my female name calmed me down a bit. My breathing became more even.

There was a light tapping on the door. I opened the door and peeked. I looked up. He was tall, just as advertised. I smiled at him and said “Hi”. I could tell I was blushing. He stood outside waiting like a gentleman to be invited in. I could see that he had a bottle of wine and flowers behind his back. He also carried what looked like a satchel. (I guessed that his camera was inside.) I opened the door and invited him in. His eyes got huge as he looked me up and down. I suddenly remembered that I was still in my sexy lingerie. I leaned against the wall batted my long false eyelashes and gave him my best come-fuck-me look.

“I just couldn’t help myself.”

I leaned my head back. He came toward me.

“Angie, will you allow me to kiss you?”

“Please do kiss me Todd.”

He grabbed me around my tightly corseted waist and pulled me towards him. I could feel his hard cock against my tummy. He put his index finger on my chin and pushed my face up towards his. He was so tall that I had to get on my tippy toes in order to meet his lips. We kissed lightly and he pulled away.

“Angie, you are so tiny. I want to kiss you fully. May I pick you up?”

He was wooing me and I was loving it! I was fully Angie. Any trace of Brian was now gone. Any maleness inside or outside was gone.

“I want to be taken, Todd.”

He gently grabbed both of my butt cheeks, picked me up, and kissed me open mouth. His tongue invaded my mouth and I returned mine in his. My penis was fully erect and it slipped out of my teddy. I wrapped my legs around his waist, my arms around his neck. I was wrapped around him like a tree as he took his shirt off. I got a big with of his musky cologne.

“Do you want me Todd?”

He responded breathlessly while kissing my neck.

“Oh Angie. I have wanted to be with you since the moment I saw your profile. Your eyes are even prettier than I imagined. I am struck by how beautiful you are in person.”

That comment fueled my passion. I pushed myself closer and rested my bottom on his fully erect penis. It was like sitting on a limb of a tree! I wanted to take it in my mouth and asked him if I could. He looked deep into my eyes as if he was in love.

“Is that what you want, my love?”

I nodded my head.

He gently set me set me down. I kneeled in front of him and kissed the head of his enormous manhood. I looked up at him and smiled. “I like the way you taste, Todd.”

“Can I taste you Angie?”

“What?”

“I like holding you. If I lifted you up, but you kept your face down there, we could taste one another.”

“Do you mean like a standing “69” position?”

“That’s exactly what I mean you hot little kitten!”

“Oh my…ummmm..okay.”

I did a handstand in front of him and he lifted me like I weighed nothing. I was now upside down face to face with his cock again. I could feel him plant his face in between my scrotum and anus. He was sucking and licking around my butt hole.

“Angie, tell me you want me to lick your pussy?”

A man calling my anus a pussy really turns me on. “Eat me, Todd!” was all I could get out before taking his member into my mouth. I was so glad that I got myself clean down there. It felt so good having my ass eaten, but I was also enjoying sucking this man’s cock! I was completely at his mercy. One hand was cradling his ball sack, the other playing with his butt cheek. His arms were wrapped around my torso keeping me from being pile driven onto the floor. I was afraid of losing my wig. I took a breath from the wild suck and lick fest. My cock was rubbing against him and I came right away. It got all over our stomachs and I could feel it make its way down to my chin.

“Todd, would you be more comfortable on the bed?”

He said nothing and walked over to the bed, swung me around like a rag doll and threw me on the king sized mattress.

“You even taste female! At this moment, you are incredibly sexy and I must get some pictures of you!”

He ran to where he left his bag, took out his digital camera and started snapping pictures. I felt like a playboy model and he was playing it up.

“Oh yea baby, that’s it! Now crawl towards me like the tigress that you are! Purr at me baby!”

He had some fabulous suggestions on how I should pose, including some very erotic close-ups of my face and mouth wrapped around his cock. It was a wild night. He made me feel like I was a sexy woman.

TO BE CONTINUED...

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