The trip home with Tom was great, and I was glad he had a packet of tissues in his pocket as I had quite a few tears while he carried me out of the airport. I did let him put me down once we were out on the fresh air, although it was so much colder that I had recently been used to, I wish I made him carry me all the way. When we got to the car there were flowers on the passenger seat, and I held them all the way back with a smile on my face.

Of course, once we got in I said a quick hello to Jane and we took my bags upstairs and jumped on the bed. We had missed each other a lot and I needed him, I needed that affirmation from him. We had a lot to talk about as well, but that could wait. After having sex, we just lay there, with me on his chest and him still inside me, and I’m ashamed to say the jet lag caught up with me and I fell asleep. I don’t how long I was out for, it can’t have been long but I looked up at Tom and apologised for it, although I did tell him was nice to wake up with him inside me. He said, “Well, I won’t say I wasn’t enjoying it, but then you started to drool on me, so I’m glad you woke up.”

He climbed out of bed and left me to sleep, waking me up a few hours later to have some food, and told me he was free now till the new year, not counting some marking that needed to be done, and wasn’t going anywhere.

We spent Christmas together, making me wonder what he’s told his family about me, but not pushing it as I do still look young and it could take a lot of explaining that I wasn’t prepared to do just yet. But it was nice to be with him with no other pressure. I did feel bad that I was keeping him away from his friends on new years eve as while I did want to be outside with him, there is the problem that we just might bump into some of the kids I went to school with.

Although that would be funny.

Sarah came down to stay for a night, and it was great to see her and introduce Tom, and I was pleased that she liked him. We all got on really well, and it allowed me to give her a present I should have given her a while ago, and it really surprised Tom. I said to her, “I know when this happened to me all of your plans for the future changed, but you stuck by me when you didn’t need to. So I want to give you this.”

I handed her an envelope and she opened it up, staring at it and said, “No, I don’t accept, it’s too much.”

With then lead to a bit of back and forth between us, with me saying I wanted her to have this for her future. Tom sat there watching us like it was a tennis match, and said, “What are you giving her?”

Sarah said, “A cheque for a million pounds.”

I pointed out that if I hadn’t changed she would have benefited from the sale of my business, and I wanted her to benefit from it now. We sat there in silence for a while, when she looked at me and said, “Thank you.”

I got quite drunk that night, I still can’t handle alcohol like I used to, and with Sarah and Tom I found that I had stopped trying to pace myself and just kept up with them. Tom carried me to bed that night and I passed out, waking up to find out he had kept a close eye on me all night to make sure I was ok. He’s really cute, so I gave him a kiss right after I brushed my teeth. Later that day Tom drove Sarah to the train station and on the way back he said, “Two questions. Where did you get a cheque from in this day and age, and two, how rich are you exactly?”

I laughed and said, “You can get a cheque if you ask the bank to make one for you, and how rich am I? Well, that’s not so easy to answer as I don’t keep a track of it. I did sell my business for 68 million if that helps.”

The car swerved and he said a few words in shock.

The next day he went with me to buy my own car, looking in plenty of showrooms to find something that wasn’t too big, preferably hybrid or electric, and suitable for a girl of 17. Every salesperson but one talked to Tom rather than me, even though I said I was the one buying the car, so I think you can guess who I brought it from. I went with a Fiat 500e, and really struggled not to get one in pink as it looked really cute, ending up with a white one.

I needed something as I was going to the local college, still on my journey to learn more about how to be a girl in the modern world, and was transferring from the high school in LA to the local further education college to do some A levels. The two I had picked were English Lit and drama. I don’t want to be an actor, but in learning how to play the parts, I found it quite helpful. And I wasn’t the only one thinking about having a future in education. Tom had been thinking about going back to university to do a PhD, and had started reaching out to some places to see what the options were for him. So far it looked positive and he had an interview in February to talk through his proposal, but there was plenty of time before we needed to talk through any options.

Arriving at the college for my new term was a disappointing experience. Not for me, that was just another day, but it seemed my classmates had been told about a Californian girl coming to college, not a girl who had spent a few month studying in SoCal. I had a lot of free time and spent a fair bit of it in the library, not just doing research, but also looking for something that interested me. I quite liked English Lit, the structures and meaning behind the writing, digging into it in a way I had never thought of before. I found that it really helped with drama as well for when we were given an assignment and it gave me a new way to look at the characters I was creating.

I still found it hard to connect with my peers, finding that they were either being, well, childish or pretentious while trying to appear like an adult. They really were in-between places in life, with feet in both camps and even though I was the same, I was also different too. My time in Santa Monica had changed me, and it helped me to separate my old life with my new one. When I got to fire my old personal weapon, that felt like a goodbye to what I was holding on to, and seeing Sarah and giving her that money was like I was letting go of the last part of Lew.

At home, life felt more stable. Jane still lived with me, but now had found a job and was quite happy with the current situation, plus I liked having her there with me. She was more of a guide for me than any other woman, making sure my style choices and make up looked correct, often picking me up on things with me pointing out I am an adult in a teenagers body. I often spent the night at Tom’s or he spent the night here but we rarely slept alone. We did manage a few weekends away where we didn’t have to worry about any of the teachers or students from his school seeing us, but his focus now was on his impending interview, making sure he knew the answers to the questions he might face, with his head buried in academic journals.

I decided to go with him to provide some moral support, but also to drive so that he had the chance to go over all his notes and read a few more science papers to make sure he was ready for it. I insisted we go in my car as I loved driving it and hadn’t driven this far in a very long time. I almost told him I had named it Kat, but managed to stop myself, not having the nerve to face to laughter from him. We grabbed a coffee in the main hall of the university and I looked around, thinking how different it looks to when I went to university so many years ago. This place looked clean, the students looked happy and I was quite jealous of Tom getting to do this.

When he went off to get grilled, I wandered over to one of the desks, and asked if there was someone I could speak to about doing a degree. Turns out they were setting up for an open day tomorrow and I was pointed towards the library, where I just looked about to see what they were doing, walking over to one of the tables that caught me eye, saying, “Hello, I’m here today with my boyfriend, but I think I’m interested in doing this course?”

We had a chat about what is involved, and everything they said sounded really interesting to me, in fact, in sounded like it what I was looking for. When I first applied to university, I had to send off for a book with the names of every course, at every university and fill in the form at the back. Now UCAS applications are done online, of course they are, how else could you do it today, and the man I was speaking to who was in his final year said, “How many A Levels do you have and in what subjects?”

I don’t have any of them, and while I could say I was doing a couple right now, why should I? So I said, “I don’t have any A levels.”

“Ah, you need three with an A in both English and English Literature for this course. I think you can do an access course, but I would have to ask someone about it.”

I said, “Oh, that’s a shame. I’m not really interested in doing that or the A levels to be honest.” And I turned to walk away, stopping myself and turning back saying, “But tell me, do you need them if you already have a degree in English?”

He looked at me, and said, “I’m not sure but I guess not. Do you have a degree in English?”

“Yep. And a masters in Marketing and an MBA too.”

I gave him a smile, then said, “Never judge a book by it’s cover, and maybe in future ask what their highest qualifications are. You said you’re graduating this year, right?”

He nodded, and I said, “Good, it means I won’t see you again.”

And I walked back to wait for Tom.

His interview went well, or at least he thought so, but he needed to rewrite his proposal but had been accepted in principle. I was really pleased for him, giving him a quick hug and a kiss, and then I told him that while we waited I submitted an application to do a degree here as well. He was clearly focusing on his future as a PhD student, and it took a second for what I said to sink in and he said, “Wait, what?”

“Yep, I’ve just applied here. I can go elsewhere if you prefer?”

He kept looking at me and I wondered what he was thinking but a slowly a big smile formed on his face and we hugged, walking back to the car hand in hand, stopping for a pub meal and celebrating that night at home but both of us getting drunk. I did point out it wasn’t confirmed yet, but I really hoped it would be.

Back at college I dropped English Lit, I didn’t really need it and kept my focus on doing drama as I was enjoying it for what it is. One day after a session in the theatre, as I was putting my book back in my bag one of the media students came in and asked me if I was interested in being in his final major project, a short film. I said, “Sure, send me the script and I will have a look.”

That evening I read it, and it made me laugh. It wasn’t meant to be funny, but I showed it to Jane and she rolled her eyes at the language in it. It was very much a teenagers idea of how a relationship runs, with two people who meet and fall in love (yawn), set in the backdrop of, yep, you guessed it, a further education college.

I of course had been picked as the female lead, with one of my classmates, Steve as the male lead. Thankfully we had stage kissed already, so I wasn’t worried about any of it, and it was going to be shot over a few weeks. There were constant script changes and I won’t say the lines got any better and I tried to make suggestions to help make it more realistic, but the director had his vision and clearly imagined himself as an Oscar winner, so I went along with it, doing the best I could.

And then I got a few new pages which made me call Steve before I agreed to it. “Steve, have you seen the email?”

I think he was more surprised I was using my phone to make an actual voice call, but he hadn’t seen it yet so I got him to read the revised pages and the new location while I waited on the line. He was a bit unsure at first, so I went round to his and we talked through it, even doing a mini walk through rehearsal and we could do it without any huge issues, so it seemed ok.

I picked him up the next day and we drove to the location, which turned out to be the directors parents home. They weren’t in, and while I only gave Steve some of my suspicions, the parents not being there confirmed the rest of them in my mind.

We were shown to the bedroom, and we already had our costumes on and we started shooting after it had been blocked out. First we came into the room kissing each other, falling back on the bed and clearly about to be going for it. But the director wasn’t happy, so this time I removed his shirt as we moved to the bed, and still he wasn’t happy saying something seems wrong. So the next time my top came off as well, which is why I prepared with putting on my favourite VS underwear. If I’m going to be showing off, then I’m showing off while looking my best!

Now the director seemed happy, but of course there was another scene to come, one where we were supposed to have just had sex and speaking those awful lines, then have sex again. While I was quite comfortable being naked around people, being naked on film is one I was less happy with, so I insisted on being covered and hidden from any camera angles, pointing out I hand’t yet signed a release form for him to use me in the film. I was worried this might happen, so kept putting it off.

The director and his helper left the room, and I said to Steve, “I’m ok with this, are you.” He nodded and tried to act nonchalant, but I could see he was nervous, so I just stripped and got into bed, inviting him in. He tried to hide something a bit obvious, so I just ignored what he had going on down there, it would be unfair any other way and I just hoped he would relax. We called them both in and we lay in the bed, both naked while they set up the shot, and had us run through our lines a few times till he was happy. At least he remembered to do some wide and close ups so there wouldn't be a reshoot.

The one thing was on show is that the side of my body was on display but showing none of the good stuff, he just wanted it to be clear that I was naked. Maybe he was trying to get his rocks off, maybe he was hoping it would make him stand out when getting marked. I was a bit annoyed as I think he planned it, and if he had asked at the start I would have still said yes, but poor Steve needed a bit of warning rather than it being sprung on him.

Then it came time for the ‘sex scene’. We went through the lines again, we kissed a couple of times and he climbed on top of me with the helper holding the duvet so that nothing was shown beyond the sides of each of our bodies.

Steve was still aroused.

And this made it awkward, and meant we had to do the scene several times, all because he was trying to keep it away from me without the other two knowing what was going on. I was never going to be an actor, I had no interest in it beyond a mental activity, but Steve did want it, and this video might one day be part of his calling card and the director was screwing it up for him. So the next take when he climbed on top of me, I took hold of his erect penis and rested it against me.

This was a better take, but we needed to do it again, so to make sure Steve knew I did it on purpose I took hold of him again, and I could feel his smile as we kissed.

The director said, “Cut, ok, can you do that again please, but your position looks wrong, so can you make it look a bit more real.”

I glanced at the director and thought to myself the guy has never had sex and is basing this on the porn he wanks over. So when he said action, I once again took hold of Steve’s erection and if Steve was still worried about it touching me down there, I needed to help him get over that. I directed him into me.

We both gasped at the point of penetration, and the director seem quite happy with it this time, not calling cut till well into the scene. We both lay there with him inside me, and I thought to myself I haven’t been with anyone but Tom since I got back, and all it takes is me to be asked to be in a film and I’m doing a porno!

I was quite enjoying it to be honest, and a quick look at the director and his helper and it was clear they didn’t know what was going on, so we lay there with him quite hard inside me and neither of us moving, while they set the camera up for a different angle and I gave him a squeeze down there with a wink when he looked at me. Then it was action again and he was slowly fucking me while we were filmed.

We were there for a while, the duvet being adjusted to make sure nothing was being shown while we ‘acted’ as if we were having sex, and during one of the takes I felt Steve stiffen and enlarge in me. I held him close, hoping to hide his cum face as he flooded my vagina with his cum. We had to stay like that, him in me for two more takes, then cut was called and the was the shoot over. We’d said all the lines, done all the scenes and Steve rolled off me.

And then the dickhead helper thought it would be funny to whip the duvet off me, and Steve to his credit tried to cover me up, but it was too late. I lay there and called him a few names, but like I said I was quite ok with being naked so I stood up, walked round the bed and slapped him. I walked back to the director to give him a piece of my mind, but his eyes were on a lower part of my body, and I felt the slickness down there and said, “Oh for fucks sake grow up! I’ve been in bed with a hot guy for hours, of course I got wet down there!”

I got dressed and threw Steve’s underwear to him so he could hide that his dick was wet as we sorted ourselves out, and I told the director that I need to see a copy of this before anyone else does, and I will check every frame of footage with him right now to make sure he deletes anything I don’t like, or I won’t sign the release and he will get a letter from my solicitor. He laughed at that, so I picked up my phone, called a number and put it on speaker.

When a law firm answered and I asked to speak to my solicitor after giving my name, his face started to go white, but went grey when I described what just happened and got him to explain to the director what will happen if my conditions aren’t met.

It was ok actually, there was nothing bad, but I told them not to share anything that happened on the closed set, and as his parents walked in right after he got very scared, so it helped me get my point across. I gave Steve a lift home and asked him if he was ok, and it turns out he has a girlfriend I knew nothing about. That’s the problem when you don’t really connect with other students. I told him not to worry, I won’t share what happened with anyone, it was just an accident of filming, even if I did put him in me, so not much of an accident really.

The only other thing of interest is that I was asked to take part in the fashion show as one of the models. It was really boring, but many of the other students loved every second of it. Me, I found standing still for the fittings to be one of the worst things ever, then the day of the show was just a lot of waiting around with 20 seconds of walking on the runway.

I dropped out completely before the end of the year. I didn’t need it anymore, I was quite happy in who I was now and had my place in university confirmed, Tom had his PhD sorted and we were going to rent a flat and live together while we studied. For Tom it was going to be three very intense years with a lot riding on it, but for me it was going to be quite nice, doing something I was looking forward to. I had picked something I wanted to do, something I found out I quite enjoy the idea of, although I’ve not had a lot of practice at it, but they seemed to like the one I did for them when they asked.

Tom rented out his house, I told Jane she could live in mine for the next three years rent free, and told Tom I handle all the payments for the move and everything we needed, paid for a van to move all our stuff to the new place and got it set up. Yes, I know what you’re thinking, I was building a nest and maybe I was, but it was only one we were passing through. He left the school and drove us to our new home, holding hands for as much as the drive as we could. I was excited for the first time in a very long time, really excited. I was with someone I loved, about to move in with them and both of us going on a journey together. And of top of that, for the first time since we got together, we were going to be completely public about our relationship.

I was nervous, but also really excited about the future.