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So last night I had a dream.
In the dream I was in a room with three people.
The shortest of the three, who might have been a dwarf, threatened me with a knife, and I knocked it out of their hand.
Then I went to the other two, and said, "You've made a mistake. you took me because you thought I was a good person. But I'm no longer a good person. All I have left is madness. Now, you will let me go, or I'll kill your friend here and eat him, and make you watch."
I woke up before I got an answer.
So I'm sure you can understand why the dream has me shaking a bit, and why I'm looking for hugs right now.
Comments
Madness
In a number of spiritual traditions, two paths towards personal growth appear: one of madness, and the other of death.
Reading your dream description I had a few thoughts, but the chief notion is that you stood up for yourself! And I wonder if you have internalized somehow that doing so itself makes you a 'bad' person because it causes conflict. Except the conflicts one needs to stand up to are already brought by others - standing up for oneself isn't the source.
But doing so, especially if against the grain of previous behaviors, may seem like 'madness'. -hugs- And at times that is precisely what one must embrace to shake ancient conditioning and experience true growth.
As scary as the dream may be, my interpretation is positive, hon. Change is scary, but taking a stand to defend yourself doesn't make you a bad person. If anything, it helps you be even more good...as you yourself deserve being defended. <3
Huggles on their way, Dear; & always at the 'Speed of Thought'.
Yep. That dream would spook most people.
What Erisian said.
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Notice that you did not start the whole mess; you disarmed the aggressor, and without adding violence or harm, and then used a threat - which you did not carry out - to get yourself out of the situation.
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Me? Sometimes, >in my dreams< I do hurt the threat. Sigh ...
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Remember, dreams are our brains' housekeeping. We are not 'supposed' to watch or remember.
Just like we are generally not supposed to watch the after-hours cleaning crew in a restaurant. We really should not be watching cleaning over in the corner where a drunk (omit), or the drunks in the bathrooms (omit). Then they clean a day's worth of burned-in gunk from the grill, using chemicals banned under the Geneva Protocols ... And that's where the restaurant will cook our patties tomorrow ...
I'll Point Out
There is the reality away from the dream -- that you are a good, kind human being, one of the kindest people I've come across.
And you deserve all the hugs.