Leonora's Journal Volume Two

The Sequel to 'Ring of Stone' and 'Leonora's Journal Volume One' by Bronwen Welsh

---

Chapter 13 Bad news and good news
(There were few entries in the Journal for the next two months and then an entry of some significance. J.D.)

Wednesday 1st March St David’s Day.
We have received a letter with black margins from Grasmere informing us that Lady Ellen has peacefully passed away. It is strange that I dreamed of her last night and she was wearing a white gown, something I have never seen her wear before. She told me that she was going to be with her husband again and wished me joy of my coming child! I must say that I have not started my monthly courses since last September, but I know that most women do not for a period of time, presumably allowing their bodies to rest after a birth. However, this morning I felt nauseated when I awoke, and this together with my dream makes me suspect that perhaps I am to have another child. I confess a feeling of excitement but also dread. I could not bear to lose another child and I pray to God that I do not.

Having had no monthly courses since I last gave birth makes it difficult for me to work our when the babe may be born. I have discussed the situation with Marie, and in her opinion I might be three months into my pregnancy, so the babe will be due to be born in September. As a precaution, I am going to take great care this time and will not be going on any long journeys.

Richard feels that he should go to Grasmere to pay his respects to Lady Ellen, but I don’t think he will be there in time for the funeral. He will leave by stagecoach tomorrow. I wrote a letter of condolence to Sir John and Lady Elizabeth which Richard will present to them. I really liked that old lady – we seemed to have a lot in common.

Saturday 11th March
Richard arrived home today. As expected, he was too late for Lady Ellen’s funeral, but he was able to visit her grave, as yet without a headstone, in order to pay his respects and to lay a floral tribute on behalf of us both, and say a prayer. While he was at Grasmere, he took the opportunity to say a good word for John and gained the impression that Sir John and Lady Elizabeth fully expect him to marry Sarah – it is only a matter of the timing.

Wednesday 29th March
I am now quite convinced that I am to have another child. Richard has been informed and is very pleased. He understands perfectly how I intend to take great care this time. I am pleased that he did not ask why my pregnancy is so far advanced before I told him – I really did not want to explain the intricacies of the female body to him, it would have been so embarrassing.

Wednesday 12th April
Today I received a visit from Mrs Jenkins, the midwife who attended me when my daughter Elizabeth was born. She examined me carefully. I explained to her about the lost of baby Richard and how, not having resumed my monthly courses I was unsure of when the new babe might be expected to arrive. I was pleased that she gave her opinion as it happening sometime in September, which was what I thought likely. She also reassured me that the new baby seemed very healthy to her and I must say the way he is kicking already seems a good sign.

Saturday 8th July
Today we entertained to dinner John, Sarah, Lucy and Freddie. I had a feeling that John and Sarah were holding back some news, but somehow they managed to contain themselves until the end of the meal. Then they broke the news to us that Sir John has given his official permission for Sarah and John to marry. I am so pleased for them both. Richard was so pleased that he arranged for a very old bottle of wine to be opened for us to toast their health I know that John has been working so hard to build up his fortune and Sarah has supported him by limiting the amount of time that he visited her so that he could devote more time to his work. Meanwhile Sarah has spent quite a deal of time buying some furniture and setting it out in their new home, where John is already living with the assistance of a cook and two maids.

Sarah continues to live at Studleigh Park of course, and they did not trouble Sir John and Lady Elizabeth with news of what they were doing to prepare the house for when they are married. I certainly concur with this decision. I was quite convinced that Sir John would give his permission but the news that it was anticipated might not be well received. John informed us that they wish to marry without unnecessary delay and Sir John and Lady Eliabeth will take their carriage down from Grasmere for the occasion.

The first reading of the banns at St Nicholas church will take place next Sunday and the wedding ceremony itself is expected to be held on Saturday 5th of August. Alas my advanced state of pregnancy will make it impossible for me to attend the church but I can be present at the wedding breakfast which will take place at Northbridge House later that day, and will consist chiefly of the families and very few other guests. I expect this to be my last social event before I am brought to bed of my next child.

Saturday 29th July
Sir John and Lady Elizabeth arrived in their coach today, along with the usual maids and manservants. The Rev David and his wife Lillian had also been invited but alas due to the difficulty of obtaing a locum to hold services they had regretfully declined. They have however sent a wedding present together with an invitation to visit them in Grasmere whenever is convenient. Sir John and Lady Elizabeth will stay with us until after the wedding and then go to Studleigh Park for at least a week. The reason for this as Lady Elizabeth explained it in a letter prior to their arrival, is that they do not wish to distract Sarah and Lucy from their arrangements in preparation for Sarah’s wedding to John. I think that is very thoughtful of them. We assembled on the steps to greet them as usual, and of course Mrs Danvers and Mr Anderson have arranged everything perfectly for their arrival.

Lady Elizabeth had a surprise for me which had slipped my mind thanks to all the other things occupying it, not least the babe growing inside me. She produced a beautiful jewelry box and informed me that this was a gift to me from Lady Ellen. I confess to being struck dumb with the contents, which consisted of diamond rings, pearl necklaces, gold chains and a number of gold brooches which contained many precious stones - rubies, emeralds ,diamonds and others too numerous to mention. In total they must be worth some thousands of pounds. I did ask Lady Elizabeth if she would like to choose something as a memento of Lady Ellen, but she smilingly declined, saying that she had received gifts from her in the past. I am determined that I will offer Lucy and Sarah a choice of the contents since as relatives of her's it is only fair. Other items will be passed down to my children in due course.

Saturday 5th August The wedding day of Sarah and John. This account written on Sunday 6th Aug.
Due to my now being ‘great with child’ as the Good Book writes, it would not be appropriate for me to be part of the wedding party at St Nicholas where the ceremony took place at 10 o’clock. However, since Richard was to be John’s Best Man, to avoid travelling to and fro, it was decided that I would travel in the coach with him and also my maid Marie, and wait outside in the coach until the service was over. We could then travel directly to Northbridge House without having to return to our home. The coach was positioned so that I could get a view of the newly married couple when they emerged through the church doors.

When all the wedding party and some parishioners had entered the church and I could hear the organ playing, upon a whim I decided that I would not wait in the coach and miss the ceremony, so I asked Marie to get the coachman to assist me to alight, and then, accompanied by Marie we walked into the church while the organ still played. The verger saw me and opened his mouth to speak but I put my finger to my lips to indicate he should remain silent, and took a seat on the very back pew, next to the central aisle where I could obtain a good view of the ceremony.
I must say the Sarah looked very beautiful in her wedding gown which was quite exquisite, and John looked very handsome in his attire.

The service was beautiful and like most of the ladies present I shed a tear or two. During the final hymn Marie and I left the church and returned to our coach where I was able to see the happy couple emerge from the church to be greeted with handfuls of rice. After stepping into their carriage, we set off in a cavalcade of carriages, first Sarah and John, then Sir John and Lady Elizabeth; Mama and Papa and Emma, Freddie and Lucy, then Richard, I and Marie, and finally sundry other guests. I had regretfully decided that Elizabeth was still too young to attend. It was a beautiful sunny day and everyone was happy. Passersby on the street cheered when they saw all of the carriages pass by, with the bridal coach gaily adorned with white ribbons.

Arriving at Northbridge House, we were all shewn into the dining room which had been beautifully arranged with the most magnificent wedding breakfast. On this occasion, John took his place at the head of the table with Sarah looking radiant sitting on his right, and all the families arranged in order of precedence down the table. I confess that I took brief sips of wine during the toasts but otherwise confined myself to imbibing water. I was also abstemious in my consumption of the food, hard to do when there were so many delicacies on offer.

I must record that I had offered the services of Mrs Walker, the cook at Marston House, and any of her staff who would be useful to assist Mrs Chambers, my parents’ cook in the preparation of the meal. I know there is a legend to the effect that there exists no kitchen in Christendom which is large enough to accommodate two chief cooks, but I am happy to record that the two ladies concerned were friends and worked very well together. Mrs Walker was quite happy to occupy the role of ‘sous chef’ on this occasion. We also supplied some of our footmen to assist in the serving of the meal. Mama and Papa had accepted our offer with gratitude since the numbers present were larger than are normally accommodated for meals at Northbridge House. John made a point of sending word to the kitchen that he and Sarah could not have anticipated a more wonderful wedding breakfast and he thanked all the staff for their efforts. Later we will express our thanks with a monetary gift to all the staff involved.

It was late afternoon when the party broke up – John and Sarah took their leave of all the guests and departed on their honeymoon journey, and Richard and I, together with Marie, headed back to Marston House, which fortunately is only a short ride away. I was much too tired to write my journal on the day which is why I am writing this on the Sunday.

Wednesday 13th September
Yesterday, Sarah and John visited us upon their return from their honeymoon. Sarah positively glows with happiness and I should not be surprised if she has some news for us in the near future. They are now living in their new home and it is obvious that they are very happy. I hope we can visit them soon. It is now half-way through September and I am beginning to wonder if perhaps Mrs Jenkins and I miscalculated the date of my confinement. My babe is very active and I feel almost like a balloon ready to burst, but still nothing.

Oh goodness – it was foolish of me to write the above some thirty minutes ago. I have suddenly started to feel exactly how I felt when Elizabeth started her journey to be born. I must stop here and ring for Marie, and Richard must be notified. I pray most humbly to my Saviour for a happy outcome this time.

Sunday 17th September
I am now sufficiently recovered to record the events of the last two days. After I ceased my entry on Wednesday, it rapidly became obvious that I was about to start my confinement. Marie is such a comfort in these circumstances. Richard came to see me but of course there is nothing a husband can do at that time except to make himself scarce and pray for a happy outcome. I actually felt sorry for him, since like all sensitive men he felt some guilt that the woman he loves has to undergo the trial of giving birth, but in all honesty, I had been as happy to resume marital relations as he was and to a degree it helped us to overcome our sorrow. I knew I could rely entirely on Marie to know when Mrs Jenkins the midwife must be sent for, and Anna was charged with the important task of making sure that Elizabeth was kept out of earshot of her mother’s reactions to the pangs of childbirth. This I’m sure she was happy to do.

It was about half past the hour of three in the morning of Friday September 15th that I was safely delivered of a healthy baby boy. He cried lustily after birth and when I put him to my breast he sucked greedily to obtain his first nourishment. I quietly praised my Savious for giving us a robust son. When we were both ready for presentation to the world, Richard was informed and came to see us. He held the newborn in his arms and the joy on his face matched mine. We had discussed previously what he should be called (assuming it was a boy), and decided against John since that name should be reserved for John and Sarah. I suggested he could be called Richard after his late lamented brother, but Richard demurred and suggested instead that he be called Robert after his paternal grandfather. I was happy to concur, knowing that my Papa and Mama would be very pleased.

Today I have written short messages to send to Northbridge House, Studleigh Park, Sarah and John, and Grasmere, informing the family of our happy news. I’m sure they will all be as pleased as we are. Richard attended the morning service at St Nicholas’s church and informed the Rev Henry Irvine of our happy news. Mrs Danvers paid me a visit to offer congratulations on behalf of all the staff, and to admire the new addition to the family. She requested permission to inform any of the staff who had not yet heard of our glad tidings. I must remain abed for some days but hope to be up as soon as I feel able. I feel so very very happy.

Wednesday 20th September
Today I received visits from Mama and Emma, Lucy and Sarah who came to admire the new babe who is thriving. They all brought gifts, including a christening mug of finest silver from Mama and Papa, who as I predicted is so proud to have a grandson named after him. I am so fortunate that my prayers were answered. I feel sure that Robert will grow up to be a fine man. I felt able to leave my bed for a short while during the visit of my guests, but I confess that I am still very tired and retired again as soon as they left. Being women they easily discerned my fatigue and did not overstay their welcome, and Papa took his cue from them. Emma is so pleased to be an aunt once more and took her turn in nursing her young nephew. I must record that Elizabeth has been introduced to her baby brother and asked how soon she can play with him! I assured her that as soon as he is old enough they will have many happy times together.

Thursday 21st September
I had the strangest dream last night; indeed I wonder if it was a dream or a vision. As I lay in bed with baby Robert in the crib beside me, I thought that I arose and walked down a long white hall in a building I did not recognize, to another room in which a very pretty young woman lay in bed asleep. It was not a house, for there was a name above the head of the bed and it said ‘Mrs Fiona d’Anglais’. I could only conclude that it was a hospital room, but surely one in the future, since in my day, children both rich and poor are born at home. Beside the bed was a crib and as I silently moved across and looked in it I saw a beautiful newborn baby and the sign above her head read ‘Leonora Mary d’Anglais’. I think I must have gasped in surprise for the young woman opened her eyes and stared at me. She was not frightened – perhaps she thought I was a nurse in my white muslin gown? I smiled reassuringly at her and she smiled back and then closed her eyes again, quite content. I looked again at the babe and there was no doubt about it – she was so very alike my daughter Elizabeth when she was very young. So this was the future – what the year was I did not know although I guessed the later part of the twentieth century, and this baby was a descendant of mine, perhaps six generations on. I reached out and gently touched her head in the time-honoured gesture of a blessing, and she opened her eyes, looked at me and she smiled, such a beautiful smile. Then I awoke and the dream or vision was finished, but it is enough that I know that the family line lives on.

This entry completes the second volume of my Journal.

To be concluded