a question for my readers

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I was re-reading "Its just clothes" and I got to thinking about how many people really hated the dishonesty of the wife. I wonder, how people would feel if I re-wrote it?

Comments

Rewrite

Speaker's picture

If you were and are happy with the story, I'd leave well alone. If you think it needs improvement, then rewrite it. Don't rewrite it just because readers are unhappy with a character or some aspect of the plot - that way you get a happy end to Romeo & Juliet or Captain Ahab making friends with Moby Dick! But if someone points out an inconsistency, a loose end, or just a typo, accept constructive criticism and correct your mistakes.

Speaker

I concur with Speaker - the story ...

... (https://bigclosetr.us/topshelf/fiction/91628/its-just-clothes) cannot be be significantly changed without 'wrecking' it.

If Robert/Bobbi is reasonably sane (I think he is) their relationship problem is not "I used to be a boy".

"Problem was, Problem fixed, no Problem."

The "was a boy" thing (for a sane person) is nearly at the level of: Lover One: "Dear, I was born with a cleft palette, but it got fixed." Lover Two: "Should I kiss any different, so I don't hurt you?"

The real problem for Robert is Lucy's lying (and dressing him up) that she did to test him. [1]
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... OK, I just re-read the comments. RobertaME said more, and said it way better than I can ...
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Leaving the "It's Just Clothes" story alone, but writing "It's Just Clothes - Alternate", where Lucy tells Robert much sooner, say on 1st, no later than 2nd date ... well, I'm not enough of a writer to make that an interesting story ...

Or, leave the entire story alone, but add an "Author's Epilog", with your (and other's) reservations and doubts. That might be semi-satisfying.
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[1] Analogy:
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I left my "buddhist" "sangha" (congregation) when they held a chicken BBQ. If they couldn't >do< "Refrain from taking life" - what other parts of the Dharma (Teachings) were they getting wrong?
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Since Lucy lied about her Dad, and had until the meeting, lied-by-omission about her being trans ... what else has Lucy, or will Lucy, lie about?

There's always room for more.

crash's picture

There's always room for more stories. And using "like this but different in that way" is a perfectly valid prompt.
Personally I'd love to read your take on this other version. You have to remember that the ratio of readers to "likers" to commenters is at lest10 to one at each step,

I'm looking forward to hearing more

Crescenda
aka

Your friend
Crash