What would you do if you found out that you were the child of Lucifer and what is basically an immortal woman? Will you rale against Fate? Would you curse God for who your parents were? Would you face the oncoming battle for your soul with a smile? Would you curl up in a ball and hope that it was all a dream? That is the problem facing one young man as his reality changes.

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Chapter 14
I meet my staff.
Day unknown.

After getting some tasty grilled breakfast steaks in gravy, and hard fried eggs mom took me across the palace courtyard to a massive office building. Yes I said palace. It seems that dear old daddy has a thing for the classic trappings of power. Between a palace modeled after Versailles and an office building modeled after the Empire State Building I would swear that Lucifer was overcompensating for something. Only problem with that thought is I know that Lucifer is only being true to his Word.

Everywhere I look. I see the influence of Pride in everything. As we enter the building’s ground floor lobby I am brought up short. In the center of the floor is a massive circular shield. The damned thing was a parody of the United States Presidential Seal. In the center of the shield was a bald eagle with its wings spread. The crazy thing about the eagle was the feathers were made from bullets. Clutched in the left hand claw were 13 ICBM missiles in the right was a massive wad of $100 bills.

Just beyond the seal was a reception desk with a gigantic blood red tapeworm wearing a security guard’s uniform. Off to one side was one of those index things that list office occupants. Then there were the elevator attendants. I swear by all that is unholy they’re gargoyles. Not those ugly stone statue types you see hanging out on top of cathedrals. I’m talking about the ones with huge ass muscles and good looking. Talk about a head trip.

As we rode the elevator to the 48th floor I thought back over the last few days of my life. Just a few days ago I was your typical teenage boy. With all the normal worries. Now I’m the daughter of Lucifer and a Princess of Hell with minions. The kick in the head is the way all the demons and devils are acting around me. I swear the elevator gargoyle tried to become one with the wall than stand next to me and mom.

“Mom what’s up with everyone giving us a wide berth?” I asked her.

“They can feel your power dear. In Hell status is equal to power. The stronger you are the more respect the masses give you. There are only two people in all of Hell that are more powerful than you. Your father and Asmodeus. Though in a straight up fight you would roll Asmodeus for her lunch money.” Mom told me with a straight face.

“What about you mom? Couldn’t you take her?” I asked.

“Only in my dragonoid or dragon forms. In my humanoid form your Aunt can kick my ass.” Mom told me with a grin. “Not that she’ll ever try. Not after the last time she pissed me off. I think it was sometime around June seventh, nineteen-seventeen during the Battle of Messines in France. The Saint Eloi creator is still there from our little tiff.”

“Holy SHIT MOM! You call blasting a four hundred meter wide creator a little tiff?!” I asked in total disbelief because I knew the creator she was talking about. According to history that creator was made from a mine explosion during the Battle of Ypres.

“It would have been worse if I hadn’t held back.” Mom chuckled as the gargoyle tried to make himself even smaller against the wall. Mom saw this and sighed. “Oh, relax Joseph. You’re safe for now.”

“No offence Lady Lilith, but if you can hold your own against Lady Asmodeus in a fight. I would rather faceoff with a Hellhound in heat.” Joseph chuckled just as the elevator chimed. “Your floor Ladies.”

“Wow!” I whispered as I looked around the office area that we stopped at. Everywhere I looked speaks of wealth and power. I’m talking about Fortune 500 club company wealth and power. The surprising thing about the reception area was the receptionist. I could tell right away that she was a human soul. Lowering my voice so that only mom could hear me. “Mom why is there a human soul working as a receptionist on this floor?”

“This is her personal Hell, Princess Ashley. Gretchen over there wanted to be an actress in her human life. To achieve that goal, she used then betrayed more than a few of her friends. To her working a nine to five office job was worse than hell. So, when she died back in nineteen-fifty-three. She was sent down here. Her eternal punishment is to work at that desk for ten hours every day for one-hundred years for every person she betrayed. I think she has something like five thousand years left on her sentence here before she moves onto her next punishment.” A female devil told me as she exited the office. “Welcome to Lilium Bounty Hunters, Princess Ashley.”

I knew she was a Lilium and not a succubus because of her wings and tail. Mom told me that succubae have batwings and no tails. Lilium on the other hand have birdlike wings while their tails have a flat blade like tip. With the exception of her red skin color the demon looked like me. No wonder Aunt Asmodeus was willing to grant me control over these devils. I should say women. Because I could fell that there was more than just one on this floor.

“Jesmond have the rest of your sisters gathered?” Mom asked her.

“Only the heads for each clan Lady Lilith. I felt that it would be best to not overwhelm Princess Ashley on her first day.” Jesmond told us.

“Then I’ll let you handle the introductions.” Mom told her before turning to me. “Ashley, I’ll see you later at dinner.”

“Aren’t you sticking around mom?” I asked with a little worry.

“Ashley I have my own duties to see to. Your father has seen fit to saddle me with overseeing the dragon and dragonoid population of Hell.” Mom grumbled as she pushed the call button for the elevator. “If you have any questions my office is on the next floor up.”

“Okay mom. See you this evening.” I said as I gave her quick hug before turning to Jesmond. “Lead the way Jesmond.”

“If you’ll follow me Princess.” She said with a slight bow. As we walked pass the reception desk Gretchen flinched in pain. “Get back to work bitch.”

“What was that all about?” I asked her.

“Part of that bitch’s punishment to type twenty-five pages an hour with no mistakes. For every mistake she receives an electrical shock to her privet parts. Gretchen used her body to become a movie starlet. She literally fucked her way into the movies. She did whatever it took to get staring rolls in movies and screw over her competition. She left a trail of broken men and women in her wake. Never carrying what she did to those around her. Even her best friend.” Jesmond told me as we entered the conference room.

I took one look at the seven women in the room and knew that they were sizing me up. I’ve been getting these looks all my life. There was always some asshole wanting to tangle with the new kid. Just to prove they were the big bad ass on campus. I put more than a few of them in hospital. The rest I just sent to the school nurse and reported to the Headmaster. I could tell these women were going to try and prove to Lucifer that I didn’t deserve my position as their leader. Find by me.

“Let’s get this over with shall. Who wants the first swing?” I asked them.

“I’ll take it.” The tallest and biggest of them snarled. As she stepped around the table I grinned. “Why are you grinning like a fool?”

“Oh, I figured that you would be the dumbass to challenge me.” I chuckled then kicked her in the crotch as hard as I could. As she doubled over I kneed her in the jaw. Went she stood upright from the blow. I punched her in the mouth as hard as I could. Her head snapped back, and her eyes rolled back in her head as she fell over out cold. “Next.”

“Bloody hell! She didn’t even use her true form and she still kicked Annabel’s ass.” One of the other clan leaders gasped.

“You were all warned that Princess Ashley was not only an uncommon warrior but a truly powerful one as well.” Jesmond told them all with a chuckle. “Annabel thought that she could intimidate our Princess because of her size. Princess Ashley may be smaller than most of us here, but she just handed the biggest of us their ass.”

“Look as fun as this has been let’s put all of cards on the table and get the dick measuring out of the way.” I told them with a snide smile. I unfolded my wings and tail. “I’m just like you.”

“Not hardly Princess. Once we were the Valkyrie of Odin and Freyja. Until the Priests of Christianity came to our homeland. They decried that the old Gods were false. We were cast down from our rightful place as the choosers of the slain, and guides to Valhalla. Replaced by angels.” Jesmond told me.

“So basically, you’re the fallen angels of Norse mythology. Instead of being seen as rebels you were demonized instead because you were women. Talk about getting the shitty end of the stick.” I grumbled. “No wonder daddy and Aunt Pain in my Ass were willing to stick me with leading you.”

“Why do you say that Princess Ashley?” One of the other Lilium asked.

“Simple. All of you have an ax to grind and have no problems with putting assholes in their place. Much like myself.” I told her honestly.

“I doubt that Princess. You were born with human right of Free Choice. You haven’t even finished your judgement.” One of the others said.

“I believe that this settled the matter with the powers that be.” I told her as I flipped my coin across the table. When she grabbed it from the air the woman screamed in pain. As she dropped the coin it burned a circle into the top of the table. Picking it up I smiled. “I thought as much. How many of you have one of these?”

“None Princess. You are the only one here who has been cast down by the Heavenly Virtues.” Jesmond told me and the others.

“I hope this puts an end to the dick waving. If not I’ll be more than happy to beat the dog shit out each and every one of you.” I snarled. As one they all bowed to me except for Annabel who was still unconscious. “Good. Jesmond if you would please make the introductions?”

“By Clan we have Annabel Delmonico on the floor. Susanna of the Northern Winds. Mavis of the Dragon. Arla of the Fjords. Elsa of the Frozen North. Sophia of the Desert Wastes. The one with the burnt hand is Cassadee McCloud of the Clan McCloud.” Jesmond told me with a small smile.

I couldn’t help myself when I heard the last one. With a grin I said that classic movie line. “There can be one.”

“Damnation. I swear if I ever get my hands on Gregory Widen. I will personally cut his balls off with a dull spoon.” Cassadee snarled as the rest of the lilium snickered or even laughed outright.

“It’s your own fault Cassadee. You were supposed to seduce then corrupt the man. Not become his muse.” Jesmond told her with a soft chuckle.

“Am I missing something here?” I asked in confusion.

“Besides hunting down escaped souls. One of our duties is the corruption of certain influential mortals.” Cassadee told me. “Those are normally long term missions that can last for up to decades.”

“I thought that was the duty of the succubae?” I asked them.

“Usually. Though there are always a few mortals that require the attention of a warrior.” Cassadee told me.

“Okay I can see that. I think.” I told her then looked around the room. “Where is the leader for the Hellhounds?”

“We do not allow those beasts on the executive floor.” Elsa snarled.

“Will you better get used to them being around. Because from now on. None of you will go anywhere on Earth without a Hellhound escort.” I told them all.

“I won’t saddle one of my clan with a mutt.” Elsa snarled.

“From what I understand. I’m the HBIC around here. Not only of you but the Hellhounds as well. I know for a fact that far too many souls have escaped from Hell because someone hasn’t been doing their damned jobs lately. I won’t even go into the sheer number of ghosts running around that are unaccounted for.” I snarled. “In the short I became Hell’s Bounty Hunter I’ve lost count of the number of ghosts I’ve seen wondering the world of mortals.”

“Excuse me Princess Ashley. There is a good reason for the number of ghosts now roaming the world realm.” Susanna said speaking up for the first time.

“Alright. What is this reason?” I demanded.

“In the last forty years we have lost too many sisters.” Susanna said.

“Why have your numbers been reduced? What’s happening?” I demanded.

“Someone other than our opposite numbers in Heaven have been targeting us during our regular duties on Earth. We have lost close to four score of our number in the last five years.” Jesmond told me honestly.

“That is another reason for your new escorts. I will not have one of my people getting killed if I can help it.” I snarled. When I saw the looks of confusion on their faces I sighed. “I might only be a babe compared to the rest of you, but I know military and law enforcement tactics.”

“How will being paired with a Hellhound help in our duties?” Susanna asked.

“Humans have been using dogs to hunt both men and animals for centuries. Hellhounds naturally want to hunt damned souls. Hellhounds may have once been mortals but now they’re beasts. Beasts that know their own kind.” I tell them all with a nasty smile before calling out. “Helga!”

“You have need of me Mistress?” The Hellhound asked as she appeared next to me. She took one look at where she was and grinned. “Whoa! Swanky digs.”

“Silence bitch! I have need for your siblings.” I snapped as the massive Hellhound blinked in confusion. “Summon the heads for your clan.”

“At once Mistress.” Helga told me then finished.

“This is a bad idea Princess. The Hellhounds will not listen to us.” Elsa told me with sad smile.

“They’ll either get with the fucking new program or they’ll need up dead. Only this time. They won’t be coming back.” I snarled. Then chuckled at their looks of shock. “Oh yes ladies. I’ve already figured out that we can be killed. I’ve also figured out that it takes a soul weapon to kill an immortal. Something that only angels, devils, and demons own.”

“There are other supernatural beings that have such weapons Princess. There is at least one or two for each mythology.” Mavis told me with a knowing grin. At my questioning look she giggled. “I’m basically the librarian and historian for the Lilium, Princess.”

“What exactly does that mean?” I asked her.

“Mavis rarely if ever leaves Hell. Her main duty is to keep a record of our individuals assignments. The last time she left was in eighteen-eighty-eight to hunt down Jack the Ripper.” Jesmond told me.

“Who was that asshole?” I asked her.

“Jacob Moore. A mindless fanatic of the Monarchy, who died as he lived. In total obscurity. The fool believed that the Prince and some hooker had a secretly married and then had a child. A child that was considered a threat to the Crown.” Mavis answered.

“Who killed him?” I asked her.

“An upstanding Inspector for Scotland Yard. I think his name was Edmond Reid. I have to say that a Colt Peacemaker is a nasty weapon.” Mavis told me with a shiver. “Those bullets pack a punch.”

“Be thankful it wasn’t a four-forty-five Webley Revolver. Those things really pack a punch.” I told her with a chuckle. Then a thought accorded to me. “I thought that mortals weapons can’t hurt us?”

“Oh, they can hurt us. They just can’t kill us.” Mavis told me with a chuckle. “Word of advice Princess. Don’t ever get shoot. It takes forever to heal bullet holes and the blood ruins your clothes.”

“I’ll be sure to remember that.” I chuckled then jumped as ten of the biggest damned dogs I’ve ever seen appeared in the room. “Holy Shit! Helga!”

“Sorry Mistress. I tried to bring them through the lobby but the guard kind of stopped us at the elevator.” Helga whined. That was when I noticed something about her. Helga was the smallest. She was also the only Hellhound that was a Weimaraner. Making her the only hunting dog in the group. The others were all Doberman Pinschers, Rottweilers, or a Bull Mastiffs. She was also the only female in the bunch. For her to be not only the smallest and leader for this group of damned souls then Helga must be one badass bitch.

“I’ll take care that later. I need you to make introductions and pair your pack up with one of the Lilium.” I ordered her.

“I’m no lap dog to be commanded by a woman.” The biggest of the bunch snarled.

I didn’t waste my time with the shithead. I knew that he was a pedophile in his former life. Time to make an example for those gathered here. I blasted the stupid fuck with a Hellbolt. I don’t know where the knowledge for the spell came from. I just knew that it would end the creature’s life. As tiny pieces of burnt Hellhound littered the floor I snarled.

“Next!” As one the remaining Hellhounds bowed their heads in submission. Even the Lilium dropped to one knee with the heads bowed. “Now I see what mom meant by power equals status.”

“You just now figured that my daughter.” Lucifer asked as he appeared in the far corner of the room. “Though I must ask you to not destroy my more loyal followers. Punishing them is one thing but destroying them is another.”

“I won’t make that promise daddy.” I sneered. “They challenge me. I will end them where they stand. To do otherwise will go against my Word.”

“True.” Lucifer sighed then chuckled. “Though I doubt it will take long for word of your temper to spread throughout the underworld.”

“Good. Now to what do I own the pleasure of your presence daddy? I know you didn’t come down here just to chew me out for sitting an example.” I said.

“Very true. It seems that Heaven has taken issue with you sidestepping your Judgement.” Lucifer told me with a grin.

“Which one of my Heavenly aunts or uncles want to rumble?” I asked sweetly.

“Why is the Princess smiling?” Elsa asked of Jesmond.

“Don’t ask me. I’ve only known her for an hour.” Jesmond told her. “Though I got a feeling that it doesn’t bode well for someone.”

“It doesn’t.” I told them then turned back to Lucifer. “So, which who will I be facing and where?”

“Uriel the archangel of the virtue of Patience has claimed the right to challenge you next. This will be a direct confrontation between the two of you.” Lucifer told me with a chuckle. “You should know that she is more than a little upset with you for jumping the gun.”

“When did I jump the gun and on what?” I asked him.

“When you picked up that coin you accepted your place in the hierarchy of Hell. You have to remember that your Heavenly aunts and uncles feel that they are the only ones fit to judge us. You took that choice from them.” Lucifer told me with a sad smile. “Uriel was actually betting that you would fail all seven trials before accepting your coin.”

“Why does it feel like she has a personal grudge against me?” I asked him.

“Because Uriel is in charge of Heaven’s Intelligence Corps. She prides herself on her ability to outthink her foes. She is usually right one hundred percent of the time. Any time that something or someone does go the way she predicts it pisses her off.” Lucifer told me with a grin.

“Then I shouldn’t keep the lady waiting. Where does she want to throw down and when?” I asked with a nasty grin.

“Midnight tonight at Golgotha outside of Jerusalem.” Lucifer told me bluntly.

“Okay. Can we give the bitch anymore of an advantage?” I snarled.

“Golgotha is natural ground Ashley. It belongs to neither Heaven nor Hell. It only belongs to Death.” Lucifer told me.

“Fine. Only one more question.” I said then asked. “How do I get there?”

“I know the way Mistress. All Hellhounds can smell the place of our rebirth.” Helga snorted from my side.

“Helga this is between me and my aunt. You can show me the way, but you cannot interfere with our fight.” I told her.

“We all know the rules, Mistress. We may not like them, but Hell abides by them.” Helga snarled. “It’s those holier than thou dipshits that break them.”

“Tell me something I don’t know.” I snarled.

“Be careful daughter. If you anger more than one of your Heavenly aunts and uncles. They will come for you in mass. Remember we are trying to prevent a resumption of war.” Lucifer warned me.

“Don’t worry daddy. Unlike most of the kids in my generation. I remember that old saying concerning angels and devils.” I told him with a grin. “Let’s go Helga. I got an ass to kick.”

“At once Mistress.” Helga answered before transporting us from the room. If we had stuck around we would had heard an interesting conversation.

“My Lord Lucifer. What old saying was Princess Ashley talking about?” Jesmond asked of my father.

“There is an old saying from the American Southwest. It says to never gamble with angels or devils. They both cheat.” Lucifer told her with a chuckle.

“Why do I have a feeling that Princess Ashley is going cheat?” Mavis asked.

“Because she will.” Lucifer chuckled.

Chapter 15
I’ve never been a patient person.
The Hill of Golgotha, Midnight.

We appeared in a blaze of flames and smoke. I looked down at the city of Jerusalem. One of the most Holy Cities in the world. Not to mention one of the most contested cities. Three major religions lay claim to this place. “Talk about mess. It would be such a beautiful city if only people could leave religion and politics out of the place.”

“I must say Princess. You must truly hate religion.” Helga snorted.

“No Helga I don’t hate religion. I hate the men who use religion to push their own hatred on others.” I told her only to hear a chuckle behind me. I don’t bother to turn around. “Hello Aunt Uriel. How shall we deal with you trial? Hand to hand? Weapons? Tiddlywinks at ten paces?”

“A simple game of chess, Ashley. I have never been one for violence. I much prefer to use my intellect.” Uriel told me. I felt her magic summing something as I turned to face her. There between us was a table and two chairs. On the table was 3 dimensional chess board and chess timer. “Shall we flip for the right to go first?”

“Seeing as how the pieces are angels and devils it doesn’t matter.” I told her I took my seat nearest the devils.

“Oh, but it does dear niece. You see. The pieces change to match their owner.” Uriel told me honestly. “The last time this set was used. It was when I played against your Aunt Leviathan.”

“She lost the toss and ended up black.” I chuckled then asked. “May I know what the stakes were for your game?”

“Oh, we were playing for the soul of England’s first female Prime Minister. Sadly, I lost. Then again by all rights Margret was Hell’s property to begin with. Just as most politicians are really.” Uriel grumbled. “You lot really do not play fair when it comes to politics.”

“Yeah don’t hate the players, hate the game, Aunt Uriel.” I told her with a chuckle. “I hate to say this about my own nation, but democracy is one of the most corrupt forms of government at times.”

“Such a jaded point of view. What could have happened in the world to produce such torture soul in one so young.” Uriel mused as she held out a gold US dollar coin. “Heads or tails. Call it in the air.”

“I’ve always favored tails.” I told her as she flipped the coin. When it landed on the table the tails side was up. “Looks like I go first.”

“That it does.” Uriel told me as the devil pieces turned white. “It has been seven centuries since those pieces were white.”

“Just lucky I guess.” I told her as I moved my first pawn and slapped the clock. “By the way Aunt Uriel. What are we playing for?”

“Nothing. I just want to see if you have the patience to have mastered the game of Kings and Queens.” She told me as she made her first move.

“If that were the case. You should have brought out a GO board.” I told her then moved my next piece.

“Why do you say that Ashley?” Uriel asked me as she moved her next piece.

“Chess is a game of give and take much like the seduction of any politician. GO is a game of territory and strategy. It might only take a few hours to learn, but it truly takes a lifetime to master.” I told her and made my move opening up my Queen’s knight.

“Interesting opening.” Uriel said with a smile as she made her opening move. “You still haven’t answered my question from earlier.”

“What question is that Uriel?” I asked her as I studied the board.

“What happened to give you such a jaded point of view towards politics?” Uriel asked me bluntly. “Most young people still believe in the system.”

“Simple. The twenty-twenty presidential election and everything that has happened since then. I watched as both parties used a national crises to win. Instead of working tighter to end the crises. They used it to pit our nation’s people against one another.” I told her and made my next move. “Sure, I know that politicians lie. Yet what happened during that election and the ones following it turn my stomach. Instead of uniting the country as they promised. They’ve done nothing more than drive a greater wedge between the people. All in the hopes of staying in power or putting more money in their pockets. Both political parties did all of that and more while accusing the other side of corruption. None of them are worth the fifty-seven cents to blow their worth asses straight to hell.”

“I must say Ashley. You have very unhealthy amount of disrespect for your earthly nation’s leaders. You make them sound like a pack of money grubbing criminals.” Uriel told me as she made her next move.

“Then do something about it. The last time I looked I know of at least two of the ten commandments. That each and every last one of them has broken on numerous occasions. You know the ones that say. Thou shall not steal, and Thou shall not bare false witness.” I told as I made my next move. “By the way. Checkmate in four moves Aunt Uriel.”

“Nice try Ashley, but bluffing is a form of lying. Not something you’re good at. Not that is a bad treat in a human but for a Princess of Hell it is a true handicap.” Uriel told me with a soft chuckle. Then made her move. “Like I said earlier your father and his people don’t play fair when it comes to politics. I think that the last politician to ever make it through the Gates was Lincon but don’t quote me on that. Your move.”

“Like I said earlier Aunt Uriel. Hate the game, not the players. I believe in the idea of democracy. I believe in the Constitution. What I don’t believe in is the idea of only one party. Which is what the current administration is pushing. There must be a set of checks and balances in government. Without those you have a dictatorship.” I told and made my next move. “Check.”

“What?” Uriel asked in surprise then chuckled as she took my knight with her rook. Then with a smile. “Nicely done Ashley. Though not good enough.”

“Like I said earlier checkmate in four. That was only my first move. This is my second.” I told her and took her rook with my bishop. “Your move.”

“What the blazes?” She asked in even more surprise. My move forced her to counter by taking bishop with her own knight.

“Check.” I told her and took her knight with my queen. “I suggest you castle. Oh wait. You can’t castle.”

“Damn. Where did you learn to play chess?” She asked as she used her queen to take mine. Only to realize too late that it was a trap. “Damn it. Why do I feel like I just fell into your trap.”

“Checkmate.” I told her and took her queen with my rook. “Care for another game Aunt Uriel? I have all the time in the world.”

“Nicely done.” Uriel chuckled as she tipped her king over. “While I would love to sit here and play chess. We both have other duties. Do try to keep your nose clean in the human world.”

“I have no intention of breaking the law Aunt Uriel. You are right that I do have unfinished business to attend to. Namely a certain church.” I snarled.

“Ah yes. That reverend has been pushing his personal brand of hate in God’s name for too long. He really most be dealt with. Sadly, he is part of the Great Plan, and we just can’t remove him from play. Which means you cannot go riding in Hell bent on vengeance.” Uriel told me with a grin. “Thankfully the human law enforcement is investigating them.”

“Ah damn, and here I was hoping to tear the little shits limb from limb.” I snarked before standing up. “Before I go can I offer you a little advice?”

“What would that be?” She asked me.

“Stay out of my way and keep your nose out of my business. I’m not like my father or any of the Mortal Sins. You cross me. I won’t care about the truce. I will end you.” I snarled. “Before you go thinking that you can handle me think again. What I did to Gabriel was nothing more than a warmup.”

“If that was a warmup. Why do I have the feeling that when you really get pissed off. You’ll level a city.” Uriel said to me.

“The best way to describe me when I get pissed is to use the words of a famous man. I have become death the destroyer of worlds.” I told her with a sickly sweet smile. “Don’t cross me Aunt Uriel. This is your only warning.”

“Enjoy your time on earth, child.” Uriel told me and vanished.

“Welp, that was fun.” I snorted. I looked over at Helga grinning. “Want to have some before we go home girl?”

“I smell an escaped soul. One that has great number of sins on weighting heavily upon it.” Helga told me then took a deep breath. “He’s in Rome.”

“Sounds good to me. Maybe we can even have a little fun along the way.” I told her with a chuckle. “Like corrupt a few of the local nuns.”

“That would be fun, but you do know that could get us into trouble with the people upstairs.” Helga told me with more than a little warning in her voice.

“Won’t be nothing new. Besides, isn’t it like part of our jobs? You know that whole tempting of the Holy?” I asked her.

“That’s not really a Valkyrie’s or Hellhound’s job, Mistress. We’re not exactly built for seducing or corrupting mortals.” Helga told me.

“Then what exactly is our job?” I sighed.

“We are hunters, Mistress. We drag those who escape from Hell back to face their punishment.” Helga explained for me.

“Oh well. If that’s the case. Let’s find this escaped soul.” I told her as we vanished from the hilltop in a poof of smoke and flames.

Chapter 16
I bag my first escapee.
Rome. Day unknown.

We appeared just in front of Trevi Fountain. This time there was flames or smoke. We just appeared. Talk about freaky. Helga immediately began to sniff the air. “This way Mistress. Our prey is just beyond the fountain square.”

“Let’s bag this asshole. I got a feeling that the people upstairs aren’t going to take to kindly to us tromping through their backyard.” I told her.

“You there! Fallen One! Why do you defile most Holy Rome?!” An off duty Swiss Guard member shouted. Causing everyone to look at him like he was nuts. Me I just ignored the shithead and went about my business. Somewhere nearby was an escapee from Hell. It was my job to bring them back. The man made one mistake. He grabbed me by the arm. “I asked you a question witch?!”

“I don’t have time for you dipshit.” I snarled and punched him in the gut. “Do you yourself a favor. Learn to know when you’re outmatched.”

As I followed Helga from the fountain square I caught the looks of the people surrounding us. None of them had ever seen a member of the Swiss Guard put down in such a manner. It was common knowledge that if you were stopped by the Guard. You obeyed them. They were the official guardians of the Vatican. The fact that I just punched one of them hard enough to put him down went against everything they believed. What really blew their minds was the fact that it was a five foot six inch petite woman that did it.

“Nicely done Mistress. I must say that you have just delivered a long overdue and well-deserved blow to the belief of infallibility in the Swiss Guard.” Helga snorted. “I just wish that it was one of the Inquisitors.”

“All in good time Helga. Like the old saying goes. No ones expects the Spanish Inquisition!” I told her in a bad English accent while holding up my left hand in a fist. My bad acting had the desired effect on the Hellhound. It got her to chuckle then all of a sudden she snorted. “What you girl?”

“The soul we hunt just went into that cafe. This is strange Mistress. I smell someone I have hunted before, but I know that they are bound in the nineth circle of Hell by chains of unbreakable demon iron.” Helga told me. I could hear the confusion in her voice. “They should still be there. Yet I can smell their stench on this street.”

“Helga if there is one thing I know. Nothing is escape proof. If you give someone enough time. They will escape.” I told her as I thought about my job. “Even here in the mortal realm this is true.”

“Hell is supposed to be the inescapable prison.” Helga told me on confusion.

“In the words of the Savoir. On Earth as it is in Heaven. This is more than just a promise Helga. It is a statement of fact. Everything that happens on earth happens in both Heaven and Hell.” I told her. “If a person can escape from prison on earth. Then they can escape from Hell.”

“Does that mean we can earn parole from Hell as well?” Helga asked me.

“If the guys upstairs are playing by the rules they set. Then yes.” I told her as I saw a man bolt from the café the moment he was us. “Damn. Do they always run like this?”

“Usually.” Helga snarled as she took off running after our prey.

“Damn it. I’m not dressed for something like this.” I grumbled. I took off chasing down the two of them. I thought our chase was at an end when the man jumped into a Lamborghini Huracán EVO Spyder. As the sports car speed away. Helga stopped dead in the center of the road. As I came to stop next to her I felt a wave of magic come over me. Without thinking I shaped the magic and found myself dressed in a back leather catsuit with thigh high boots holding a motorcycle helmet. “Now all I need is a motorcycle.”

“Just call for your Hell cycle Mistress.” Helga told me.

“My what?” I asked in confusion.

“Your earthly mode of transportation.” Helga told me.

“Okay whatever you say.” I said and thought about this Hell cycle. There was a sudden blaze of flame and a solid black stretched chopper appeared out of nowhere. It looked like it jumped off the pages of a Ghost Rider comic book. “Holy shit! That thing is a fucking beast.”

“I must said Mistress. Of all the Hell cycles that I have seen ridden by the Lilium. Yours is the only one that is a true representation of Hell.” Helga told me as she walked around the chopper. “I can feel the power coming off of this beast. She is unlike any other Hell mount.”

“Whatever. So long as she is fast I don’t care. I got a bounty to collect.” I told her as I pulled on my helmet and mounted the chopper. I had no sooner taken my seat than the engine fired over. The engine’s roar was unlike anything made on earth. I shifted into first gear and slowly let out the clutch. As I pulled away from the sidewalk the wheels blazed with a hellish flames. It didn’t take me along to catch up with the Lamborghini. As I pulled alongside the car I got my first good look at the escaped soul.

I knew that the man behind the wheel was truly the most evil of souls. I’m talking about a soul that was so black that even in Hell. This soul stood out. What I did next was totally off the wall. I reached through the driver’s side window. When I say that I reached through the window I mean my hand passed through the glass as if it was made of water. With my hand inside of the car I quickly grabbed the soul. Once I had a hold of the soul I pulled.

I don’t know how to describe the sensation. It was like I was holding a black mist in my hand somehow. Now that I had my hands on the soul I could ‘see’ all of the evil this man had committed on earth. I also knew who he once was on earth. I held in my hands one of the most vile men to ever work for the Holy Roman Church. I held the soul of Tomás de Torquemada. He was a Castilian Dominican friar and first Grand Inquisitor of the Tribunal of the Holy Office otherwise known as the Spanish Inquisition.

“You betrayed your faith Father. Like all traitors you belong in the nineth circle of Hell. You know the sad part. You didn’t even realize what you were doing was evil in the first place.” I snarled and opened a portal to Hell. As I rode into the swirling flames that appeared before me I was greeted by the screams of millions of damned souls. As I neared the Gates the souls of the newly dead shied away from my blazing cycle. The demon guards didn’t even slow me down. They only open the gate and moved out of the way. I might have gone 15ft when Helga appeared by side me running for all she was worth. Strangely here in Hell she was able to keep up with me and my Hell cycle.

“Where the hell have you been?” I asked her.

“I might be fast down here, but on earth I am only as fast as a normal dog.” Helga grumbled. “It’s the trade off me make for being able to travel between Hell and the mortal world.”

“Is that why I had to use a motorcycle to chase down this piece of shit?” I asked her as we rode through the first circle of Hell.

“Pretty much, Mistress. Unless you’re fighting against your Heavenly opposite your ability to use your full power is denied. As are all Heavenly and Damned creatures. It limits the damage that we can cause in the mortal world.” Helga explained for me as we passed under the Three Judges of the Underworld.

“What business do you have before us, Princess Ashley. You have a soul that has already been judged.” Minos rumbled.

“Just returning a scumbag to his rightful place in Hell, your Honor.” I called out as I continued to ride pass them. “I hope that they don’t plan on questioning me every time I pass through here.”

“More than likely Mistress. It is their duty to judge all souls upon entering Hell, Mistress.” Helga told me with a chuckle. “They’re not going to like the fact that you just rode pass them without stopping.”

“Let me guess. One of them is going to file a complaint with the department of transportation.” I snarked.

“More like file a total of nine complaints all in triplicate. Each complaint will have to be answered individually and in triplicate. All which must be refiled with the Hell’s DOT. Not to mention the use of a Hell cycle in their courtroom. That alone is enough to get you a summons before the Director for Hell’s DOT.” Helga told me with a chuckle.

“How much paperwork am I looking at Helga?” I asked as we entered the second circle of Hell. When I hear her chuckle I know that I won’t like the answer.

“One of the tortures of Hell is paperwork, Mistress.” Helga chuckled.

-----tbc-----

PS. Sorry for the delay. I have been busy with making repairs to the fence along the back 40 of my farm. It seems that a few of the tourists don't like the idea of me fencing off my farm. A few of them go so far as to cut holes in the fence so they can ride their ATVs through the part of my farm that buts up to the state park that boarders my farm. I hope that one of these days I'll catch them in the act.