What would you do if you found out that you were the child of Lucifer and what is basically an immortal woman? Will you rale against Fate? Would you curse God for who your parents were? Would you face the oncoming battle for your soul with a smile? Would you curl up in a ball and hope that it was all a dream? That is the problem facing one young man as his reality changes.

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Chapter 6
The day after.
Sunday, 10:45am

I took her advice about sleeping on the floor. When I woke this morning the blanket I used to cover up with was a shredded pile of rags. “Damn it. That was my favorite D-n-D blanket. I should have used one of the plain ones that mom stored in the hall closet.”

“I see that you found one of the hazards of sleeping with your wings and tail extended.” Mom said with a chuckle as she entered my room. At my look of frustration, she just grinned. “It’s a rite of passage that all dragonoids go through Ashley. Over time you’ll learn how to sleep with them and not destroy your bedding.”

“How long did it take you mom?” I asked her as I stood up.

“Just short of five or was six decades.” Mom hummed to herself as I stood there with my mouth open. When she started to giggle I knew that she was going out of her way to yank my chain.

“Not cool mom.” I groaned with my eyes closed only to hear her giggle even harder. “Okay mom you’ve had your fun. Really how long did it take you?”

“Only a few weeks. Though I was a slow learned.” She told me with a grin. “Now your Uncle Joseph was the real overachiever. It only took him a week.”

“Mom, just how many brothers and sisters do you have?” I asked her.

“Let me think, there were twenty-three in my clutch. Of those nineteen hatched. I grew up with nine sisters and nine brothers. Of those only three of my sisters and two of my brothers are still alive.” She told me as I stood there trying to comprehend the fact that my mother had 18 siblings. “Though mom had another two clutches that were even larger after us.”

“Mom, just how big is your family?” I asked in amazement.

“At the last family reunion, there was close to two-hundred of us. I know that is not as large as other dragonoid families, but our family has always been more active in human affairs. Why?” She asked with a grin.

“Okay let’s take things one at a time. First you just told me that you have eighteen siblings. Second from the sounds of it. Dragonoids lay eggs like dragons. Next you tell me that most of your brothers and sisters are died. If I take what you told me last night into account. The ones who are dead, died while fighting in some war. Next I have almost two-hundred or more cousins, aunts, and uncles out there in the world. Have I missed anything yet?” I asked her then grunted. “Oh yeah. I forgot to mention that there are even bigger dragonoid families out there.”

“Come on downstairs. We’ll get some food in your belly, and some caffeine in your system. As much as I hate to say this. You’ve never been a morning person and a right little bitch without until your first cup of coffee.” Mom snarked and walked out of my bedroom. Not before saying. “Being half dragonoid doesn’t help matters.”

After I retracted my wings and tail I put on a pair of shorts then headed downstairs. I had barely stepped into the kitchen when mom handed me a mug of coffee. “Set, drink, and I’ll give you a little background on dragonoids.”

“Yes ma’am.” I mumbled as I sat down at the table. I could that she wasn’t in the mode for bullshit right now. That was when I saw the newspaper and the date. “Holy shit! Did I really sleep through Saturday?”

“Yes. Now drink your coffee while I fix you something to eat.” Mom ordered me. I watched as she set the griddle top to high and drop a 16oz T-bone steak along with 3 eggs on it. In all my years mom has never fixed me steak and eggs for breakfast. She must have seen the look on my face. “Now that you’ve come into your dragonoid heritage you’ll need the protein. The redder the better in some situations.”

“I hope you’re not talking about drinking blood mom.” I snarked. Only to have her turn thoughtful on me. “What are you thinking about mom?”

“I’ve been meaning to ask. Have you had any unusual cravings lately?” She asked me. “By unusual I mean cravings for something other than blood.”

“Wait a second mom. Is drinking blood a thing for dragonoids?” I asked.

“Depends. Usually only it’s only females who need to drink blood. Normally it starts just before we start our cycle. For males the need for blood is a sign that there are ready to mate.” Mom told me bluntly then smirked. “Why do you have your eye on some lucky little girl or boy?”

“It’s nothing like that mom. I swear. I’m just trying to understand all this shit.” I told her honestly.

“I guess you would be a little confused. The main reason I asked if you were having any strange cravings Ashley doesn’t have a simple answer. You see, cravings in dragonoids can mean many things. Like if you’re craving gold or silver it points to a dragon horde being nearby. If you’re craving blood you’re looking for a mate. A salt craving means you’re close to hibernating. A craving for sand you’ll be shedding your scales soon. Do you understand?” Mom told me as she set a plate of steak and eggs in front of me.

“Wow. So, we really are related to dragons.” I grunted as I dug into my food. In between mouthfuls I asked her all about dragonoids. I was surprised to learn that unlike dragons. Dragonoids have a greater aptitude for magic. It was one of the reasons that dragonoids were able to hide among humans. We have a natural concealment ability that hides our true nature from humans. It was the reason we were able to hide our wings and tails. The only thing that male dragonoids can’t hide is our warlike nature at times. “Is that why you were so pissed off with Uncle Ralf when he tried to wrangle that promise of no fighting out of me?”

“You have no idea of how pissed off I was that day. If he had tricked you into making that promise I would have ended his life.” Mom snarled.

“Mom just how strong are dragonoids?” I asked her.

“Only archangels, and archdevils pose any real threat to dragonoids. I could hand a smuck like your Uncle Ralf his ass in five minutes.” She told me with a nasty grin as she unfolded her wings and tail. “There is a damned good reason why angels and demons fear pissing us off.”

“Wouldn’t me being only half dragonoid dilute my magic and power?” I asked.

“Normally but your other half is angel.” Mom told me honestly.

“I’ve been meaning to ask you about that mom. Earlier from what you said. You and your siblings were hatched from eggs. Why don’t I have any brothers and sisters?” I asked her as I took a bite of my eggs.

“Normally dragonoids only have one child at a time. Sometimes though a male dragonoid mates with a female dragon. When that happens, the dragon will lay a clutch of twenty to twenty-five eggs.” Momo explained for me. “Speaking of mating. There is something else you need to know about dragonoids and dragons. When we mate it is usually for life.”

“Hold on here, mom. What do you mean by usually?” I asked her.

“There are times when a dragonoid or dragon will become sexually active for no other reason than to have a good time.” She told me with a blush.

“Is that how you and my father met? Over a one night stand?” I asked grinning.

“More like a seven months of nonstop wild sex.” Mom mumbled.

“Seven months? Nonstop?” I asked in shock.

“Honey when a dragon or dragonoid gets horny it takes a while to scratch the itch.” Mom told me with a small chuckle at my embarrassment. “That’s why we normally seek out other supernatural beings during those times. Normally because those couplings normally don’t produce offspring.”

“So, when you showed up pregnant with me. Not only did it surprise daddy dearest, but you as will.” I snarked before taking a bite of my steak.

“In more than ways than one. You need to understand something else Ashley. You might have been a surprise, but you were never unwanted. To dragons and dragonoids alike all of our children are gifts from the goddess.” Mom told me with a small smile.

“Okay mom I get it.” I told her right before I gave her a hug. “Are there any other surprises I can expect from my unusual heritage?”

“I’ll be honest with you Ashley. We are in uncharted territory. You see until you were born there has never been a half dragonoid and half archangel child.” Mom told me with a sigh.

“Mom when you said that couplings with other supernatural beings normally does result in offspring. Did you really mean almost never?” I asked her.

“Yes. That was why both your father, and I were so surprised. The last time such a coupling produced a child was between a dragonoid and a Valkyrie. That was more than seven-hundred years ago. Because of her mixed heritage Yevette became one of the most powerful Valkyries in their history. She was also the only other recorded child of mixed supernatural heritage.” Mom told me with a warm smile.

“Is that why your mother never visits mom?” I asked between bites.

“No. The main reason my mother, your grandmother, never visits is because she would draw way more attention than is advisable. After all a six-hundred foot long red dragon is kind of hard to hide.” She told me with a giggle at the look on my face. “Yes dear. Your grandmother is a dragon. She was born during the European Renaissance. I know that she modeled for Leonardo da Vinci at one point in her younger years.”

“Holy shit. Just how old is grandma?” I asked in shock.

“I think she is around six or seven hundred years old. Though I really don’t know. It is considered extremely impolite to ask a dragon their age.” Mom told me with a soft chuckled as I tried to wrap my head around the fact. “What else do you want to know about my side of the family?”

“If grandma can change her appearance to model for da Vinci. Why can’t she visit?” I asked her bluntly.

“I never said she could change her appearance. I only said she modeled for the man. Unlike me and my siblings, my mother lacks the magical ability to hide among humans as a human. Very few dragons have that ability. Only dragonoids can appear as humans. We can also assume the shape and size of a full dragon.” Mom told me with a grin then explained. “If I were to assume my full dragon form I would fill our backyard. I would show you, but it takes me three to four days before I can revert to my natural dragonoid form. With another ten to twelve hours before reverting to my normal human form.”

“Okay I wasn’t expecting that.” I told her before downing the rest of my coffee. “Mom, what can I expect from these judgements?”

“Each of the Heavenly Virtues will challenge you individually. Each challenge will be in line with their Word of Power or virtue.” I could tell that she wanted to tell me more, but we were interrupted by a crack of thunder and flash of lightning in the backyard.

“Now what?” I moaned as we both turned towards the sliding glass door. “Oh hell. Is that who I think it is mom?”

“It is. Looks like your aunts and uncles in Heaven are getting an early start on your judgement.” Mom grumbled. “Though I’m shouldn’t be surprised that Sandalphon is the first to challenge you. He is the archangel for the virtue of Diligence after all. I swear that dipshit never takes a day off.”

“Mom why do I got a feeling that he is waiting for me to step outside?” I asked her as I looked at the angel. There was something about the man that set my teeth on edge. For some reason I could tell that he was itching for a fight, and I had no problems with providing him with one.

“Because that is exactly what he is doing. Like all supernatural beings he was to be invited into our home. The only two angels that can freely enter our home are Raphael and of course Lucifer.” Mom told me.

“Well, that fuck head can just stand out there in the backyard from now until kingdom come for all I care. We go out the front door from now on.” I told mom as if that solved the problem.

“Ashley it won’t matter. Sandalphon’s Word is Diligence for a reason. Nothing escapes his notice.” When mom told me this I started to get pissed.

“Fine if fuck nuts wants to rumble. Then I’ll give him what he wants.” I snarled and stormed into the backyard before she could stop me. “HEY! SHIT HEAD! I THOUGHT TOLD YOU I WASN’T GOING TO DEAL WITH YOU MONKEY FUCKS!”

“We do not care what you want child. You will stand before us and be judged.” Sandalphon told me with all the arrogance of an archangel.

“Fine. Let’s do this.” I snarled.

Chapter 7
What is Diligence?

There was a massive flash and I found myself in the middle of a desert. As I looked around I found myself alone. I also noticed that the sand under my feet wasn’t normal sand. It was a deep almost blood red in color. I quickly sniffed the air and smelt rotten eggs. Looking up at the sun I realized that not only is it smaller and fainter. It was a bluish-white.

“Mars. The asshole dropped my ass on Mars.” I snarled then snapped around to see the very individual I wanted to pound the shit out of just them. “Very funny fuck nuts. You didn’t have to drag my ass all the way to Mars.”

“Very good child. At least you are smart enough to know that you are no longer on earth. Yet are you diligent enough to find your way through the great canals?” Sandalphon asked me.

“I thought you wanted to fight shithead. What’s with the pop quiz?” I asked.

“My test is to see if you are diligent enough to follow a righteous path.” Sandalphon told me as the ground opened beneath me. As I fell into the trench I extended my wings and tail by reflex. I quickly started to glide until I gave a downward sweep of my wings. After a beats later I was rising above the trench’s edge. I was now beyond pissed.

“I told you shithead. I won’t play your games already. Now you get to face me on my terms.” I snarled and dove towards the angel.

“You would fight me?” Sandalphon laughed as he jumped into sky avoiding me. Forcing me to adjust my attack angle. Again, Sandalphon just changed direction avoiding my attack. “Fool. I can see everything. I know what you’re going to do before you can even think of it.”

“In that case. Let’s see how you deal with someone acting on nothing but pure instinct.” I snarled and flipped over backward closing my eyes. I know this is going to sound corny, but I stretched out my feelings and felt for the angel. With that simple act I knew exactly where he would be next. Instead of attacking there I threw a punch to where he wouldn’t be. To my surprise my wild swing actually connected. I felt Sandalphon’s head snap backwards from the impact of my punch.

“My nose!” The angel scream out in pain. “You broke my nose!”

“Yup. I sure did. Now let’s see if I can kick a field goal.” I snarled before delivering a kick that any professional placekicker would be proud of, and any referee would throw a yellow flag on. I was rewarded with a high pitched scream of pain as Sandalphon’s testicles were smashed by my foot. Only then did I open my eyes. I grabbed the angel by the hair snarling. “You should know something dipshit. Your eyes can fool you. To truly be diligent you have to use all of your senses.”

“Diligence is more than just being aware of your surroundings boy.” The angel snarled as he punched me in the gut. As I bent over in pain I whip my tail around to stab him in the ass. At least that was the plan. The asshole dropped me before I could connect. “Fool. I am always aware of my opponents attacks. You might have caught me off guard with your unorthodox attacks to begin with but no more. You have lost your only advantage.”

“I’m not done yet shithead.” I snarled. I don’t know where the power came from, but I didn’t care. I just threw the massive ball of red lightning at the angel hoping it would hit. I know that I caught him off guard again but only for a second. He cut the ball of lightning in half with a massive sword.

“Very good. You’re tapping into your magic now. Though I’m not surprised to see that you have a natural inclination for magic.” Sandalphon told me as he flew further away from me and out of the fight. “I have seen enough to know that you will never be able to Diligently follow a path of righteousness.”

“What the fuck does that mean?” I snarled and hovered in place.

“Your very nature is that of violence. If you would have diligently gone along with my test you have passed. Remember Ashley that with the gift of freewill comes the responsibility of making the right choices.” He told me before waving his hand in the air. Once again there was flash of light. As I blinked the spots from my eyes I realized that we were once more in my backyard. As I looked around Sandalphon pointed his finger at my eyes. “The punishment for your failure is to be Hell’s Never Sleeping Watchdog.”

As the beam of light left Sandalphon’s finger I felt a burning behind my eyes. When I opened them Sandalphon was gone and the world around me was filled with ghosts. “Oh man. That fucking hurt.”

“I’m not surprised Ashley. Sandalphon’s Gift is not a kind one.” I had only heard the voice once before. The night of my baptism.

“Hello daddy.” I snarled snidely as I turned to face Lucifer. “What brings you up here? Wanting to take me to a Reds game?”

“Not that, that wouldn’t be fun. I haven’t been to a Reds game since their time as the Big Red Machine. No today I am here on business. I stand as here as witness to your first test. As I will be for all of the tests by your aunts and uncles.” He told me honestly.

“Well as you can see I failed. What did the asshole mean by calling me Hell’s Never Sleeping Watchdog?” I asked him.

“It doesn’t matter if you pass the other tests. You are now aligned with the powers of Hell. When Sandalphon declared you to be Hell’s Watchdog he was cursing you to spend eternity hunting down any souls that escape Hell.” Lucifer told me with a heavy sigh. “Basically, you’re now my Bounty hunter.”

“Damn. Can this day get any more fucked up?” I grumbled.

Chapter 8
A talk with Daddy.

“What happens if I say fuck it and don’t do the job?” I asked him.

“You know that pain you just felt?” Lucifer asked me. I quickly nodded my head. “For every time that you refuse to return a damned soul to Hell you will feel that pain.”

“Why do I get the feeling that my aunts and uncles in Heaven are going out of their way to pick up the slack for the ones in Hell.” I snorted.

“Knowing your Uncle Michael and his scheming ways most likely Ashley.” Lucifer sighed as he gave me an apologetic look. “How about to make it up to you. How about I take you today’s ballgame? I hear they’re playing the Cubs. I got box seats. Right behind Homeplate.”

“Why am I not surprised to hear that.” I snorted then chuckled. “What I want to know is how you got your hands on something like that. Box seats for the Reds are like family heirlooms.”

“Let’s just say I made a deal with the Big Eight. They win the World Series, and I get box seats until the end of days.” Lucifer chuckled as the implications of what he told me sank in. “I got the tickets, they got their championship, and the best part they got to keep their souls. Well, at least until that slimy dipshit of Mammon’s signed them to new contracts.”

“Hold on here. Are you telling me that the Big Red Machine were getting help from the Prince of Hell?” I asked in disbelief.

“How else do you think they won back-to-back Championships?” Lucifer smirked.

“Okay it’s way too early for this shit. I need more coffee.” I grumbled and headed for the house. “I would tell you to go to Hell but considering who I’m talking to. It won’t have the same impact.”

“True. Though I can give you some insight into your upcoming trials.” He told me as he followed me into the house. Without so much as a by your leave or kiss my ass Lucifer planted a massive kiss on mom’s lips. “Hello Lily.”

“I take it that you’re here on business Lucy?” Mom asked with a small sigh as she pushed him towards the table. “Sit and I’ll get you some coffee. Do you still take it sweet and dark?”

“Ah yes the Devil’s Brew the way it was meant to be drank.” Lucifer chuckled.

“Please don’t tell me that you invented coffee?” I asked as I fixed myself another cup before sitting down. When Lucifer chuckled at my request it had that evil villain quality to it. You know the one those Disney cartoon villains use just after they explain their master plan for world conquest. I couldn’t help the groan that escaped my lips. “Why am I not surprised.”

“My greatest corruption success wasn’t Eve in the garden. It was Jerry Baldwin, Zev Siegl, and Gordon Bowker the founders of Starbucks. Believe it or not they actually came to me with the idea. I just made sure their coffee chain took off.” Lucifer told me with a shit eating grin.

“Mom please tell me he’s pulling my leg?” I begged her.

“I wish that I could Ashley. I was there the night Lucy inked the deal.” Mom told me before chuckling. “Though I never expected their chain to take off like it did. I think Starbucks has corrupted more humans than any demon, devil, or fallen angel in history.”

“More actually. There’s only one deal that I’ve ever made that worked out better and it was with Ray Kroc. Now there was a truly devious human.” Lucifer chuckled as mom hand him a cup of back coffee with sugar.

“Who was he?” I asked.

“Just the founder of the McDonald’s franchise.” Mom told me with a chuckle as I spit coffee all over Lucifer. Mom giggled as Lucifer used a napkin to clean up his jacket, shirt, and tie. “Serves you right Lucy. Why didn’t you put a stop to all this nonsense before it started?”

“I warned you that this could happen Lily. At least Ashley doesn’t have to deal with his aunts and uncles on my side of things.” Lucifer told us.

“About that daddy. Just how many of my aunts and uncles are fallen angels?” I asked him snidely.

“All seven of the Mortal Sins are fallen angels. Before I go further I should explain that they are the opposites of the Seven Heavenly Virtues. Who are also very much your aunts and uncles by the way. Now for each male virtue there is a female sin. For each female virtue there is a male sin. The exceptions to the rule are your Uncle Michael and me. Mainly because we are the only angels to ever have been created as twins.” Lucifer explained for me before taking a drink of his coffee. “Do you understand?”

“I think I do. If there are seven sins and seven virtues how are they broken down?” I asked him.

“As you have already met the Virtue of Diligence, his opposite is your Aunt Belphegor. She is the Demon Lord for the sin of Sloth. You would like her really. While she can be a lazy shit at times.” The snort form mom had Lucifer correcting himself. “Okay Lily. Belphegor is lazy most of the time. She is really a very industrious individual.”

“As much as I hate to say this about your Aunt Belphegor. She is the poster child for work smarter not harder. If Belphegor can find a way to corrupt souls without having to put in the work. She’ll do it. She absolutely has to be the person behind every bureaucracy in the world. I know she was the one who came up with the idea of red tape.” Mom sighed.

“Okay. You’ll have to excuse me, but I need some fresh air. This is all getting way too deep for me.” I told them as I got up.

“Put away your wings and tail before you go out.” Mom yelled at me as I went upstairs to change into jeans and t-shirt. “I swear he is getting to be more and more like my brother Stephon. I just don’t know where his temperament comes from at times. I know that dragonoids can be a violent race at times, but there is something about Ashley that takes it to a whole another level.”

“I blame it on having the original Rebel for a father.” I called back. Just before I slammed the door to my bedroom.

Chapter 9
Temperance and Gluttony.
Monday afternoon.

Thanks to my little fight with Sandalphon I found that I was now far more aware of my surroundings. It wasn’t until I went for a walk through my favorite park that I realized what Sandalphon had done to me. I was so sensitive to my surroundings now that I actually felt the arrival of Uncle Raphael long before I saw him. Not that really I cared. I’ve known him since I was little kid, and he didn’t frighten me.

“Come to test me Uncle Ralf?” I asked him sharply.

“I didn’t need to test you Ashley. I have known you from the time you were a babe in your mother’s arms. Your self-restraint actually rivals my own with one exception. Your anger is your downfall. Once provoked you will hold nothing back. You unleash the full measure of your anger on those who have incurred your wrath and rarely show them mercy.” Uncle Ralf told me as I glared at him. There was something about the way he was talking that let me know he had already decided my fate.

“You know something Raphael. I once thought that you were the cool uncle. Now, I know you’re nothing more than a spy for the assholes on high.” I snarled. “By the way if you think I’m just going to stand here and take your punishment. I suggest you think again.”

“I’ll make a deal with you Ashley. If you swear to never use your training or power in anger. I’ll walk away and forgo my judgement.” Raphael told me.

“Still trying to wrangle a promise out of me. Talk about being a one song record Uncle Ralf. Try a new record.” I told him with a chuckle.

“Fine. What say we gamble for the promise.” Raphael said as he held up two dice. “A single roll of odd or even. How does that sound?”

“Deal.” I said and took one of the dice from his hand. “Against the curb.”

“Done.” Raphael said as he threw his dice against the curb. I quickly followed his example as Raphael called out. “Even.”

When all both dice came to a stop I quickly counted the dots. The dice that I rolled turned up a three. While Raphael’s dice rolled a six. The final result was nine. I won the bet. At least he didn’t cheat.

“You have the same luck as your Aunt Beelzebub.” Raphael chuckled as he picked up the dice. I could tell by his demeaner that I was dealing with Uncle Ralf now. “By the way she is the Demon Lord for the sin of Gluttony. She is also as sneaky as she is beautiful.”

“Why you say the most dreadful and nice things brother.” A young girl giggled as she stepped from behind a tree. “So, this is Lucy’s child. Yummy.”

“Sheath your claws Bee. Ashley is family. You know how dad feels about such things.” Uncle Ralf told this strange girl. Thankfully she listened to him. Because she was making me feel like a slice of chocolate cake.

“Oh poo! You’re no fun Ralphie.” Beelzebub cooed as she stepped up next me. I shivered as my aunt ran her claw down my chest. “I only wanted a taste.”

“Lady you are one twisted bitch you know that?” I asked her as I pushed her away from me. “Uncle Ralf do you know this crazy woman?”

“This unfortunately is my sister and your aunt, Beelzebub, Ashley.” Uncle Ralf sighed. “What brings you up here Bee?”

“Lucifer sent me to stand as witness to your testing of Ashley, Ralphie.” Beelzebub told him as she stepped away from me. “Instead, I find the two of you playing a game of chance. This is not your normal way of doing things.”

“These are not normal circumstances Beelzebub.” I could tell by the sound of his voice. That Uncle Ralf was back in his heavenly virtue mode.

“Then you have already passed judgement. Then what shall be our nephew’s punishment?” Beelzebub asked coldly.

“As our brother Sandalphon has already condemned him to be Hell’s Watchdog. I can only aid in his duties.” I wasn’t liking where this was going. “I was thinking that he should have dominion over the Hellhounds. What say you?”

“You know that Astaroth isn’t going like you taking away his pets.” Beelzebub told him. “There is a price for such dominion.”

“Who said I was the one doing the taking?” Raphael asked with a smirk. “After all, the last time I looked Astaroth answers to you.”

“The question is our nephew willing to pay the price for such dominion.” Beelzebub said before turning to me. “Well nephew. Do you want total control over the hounds of Hell? Are you willing to pay the price for such power?”

“If I got to be Hell’s Watchdog. Then wouldn’t they naturally belong to me anyway?” I asked them both.

“Hellhounds aren’t dogs that you can just order around child. They are the souls of damned men and women of the Cloth who have broken faith with our Father. Their punishment is to spend eternity as the beasts they hid from the world and to hunt the souls of their own kind.” Beelzebub told me coldly. “They have no love for angels, demons, devils, or other damned souls. They would sooner bight you than listen to you. They only listen to power.”

“Screw ‘em. If they’re really fallen clergy then they’re getting what they deserve in my book. Besides I can’t stand those assholes who justify hate as a way to promote the word of god. If I can make their eternal reward that much more unbearable all the better. My only question is what do you want in return for the power?” I asked her.

“He has fire yet lacks restraint in his anger, Raphael. I see why you had no need to test him.” Beelzebub said thoughtfully.

“What is your price Beelzebub?” Raphael demanded.

“As Sandalphon has already cursed his eyes. My price is his appearance. Such an ordinary countenance is ill befitting for one who would wield power over the Hounds of Hell. Let him be the prettiest of us all.” Beelzebub told us.

“So be it.” Raphael said before he put his hand in the center of my back between my wings. I felt sudden uncontrollable hunger overcome me that drove me to my knees. Raphael removed his hand. “Reign well Mistress of Beasts.”

When I finally stood up Raphael and Beelzebub were gone. As I stood there I knew that Raphael had done something to me. What that was exactly I didn’t know. As I walked home I passed several stores. At one of these stores, I caught sight of my reflection in the window.

“Ah shit. Mom is going to blow her top. I don’t even want to know what dad is going to do.” I mumbled as I looked at the reflection of the glamor girl in the window that was the new me.

Chapter 10
Aunt Asmodeus.
Tuesday morning.

As I stepped out of the shower I knew that day was going to be a pain in the ass. Mom was taking me shopping for new clothes. As much as I hated shopping I knew that it was a necessary evil today. Thanks to Uncle Ralf’s gift and Aunt Bee’s bargain I needed a whole new wardrobe. To be precise I needed a girl’s wardrobe. When mom and Lucifer saw me after my run in with Raphael and Beelzebub they blew their tops. I don’t know who was more pissed off.

Mom swore that if she got her hands on Raphael. She would rip things off of him that define a person’s sexuality. Right after she chopped off his wings to make the world’s first angel favored buffalo wings. As for what Lucifer was going to do to Beelzebub. Let’s just say that there are some things that should only be described in horror films. This was one of those things.

“At least my best friend and his two buddies are still around.” I mumbled as I looked down at my penis and testicles before looking back up at the two glaring feminine additions to my chest. “Though I ready do need a bra now. If I’m not careful. I could accidental motorboat myself into the hospital.”

“Talking to yourself is the sign of losing your mind Ashley.” Lucifer told me as he appaired out of thin air. Thankfully he was in his human form.

“Besides wanting to scare the crap out of me, daddy. Why are you here?” I sneered as I wrapped my towel around me. The fact I did it the way a girl would didn’t really ping on my weird shit-o-meter.

“Didn’t you know that spooking you is one of my fatherly privileges?” Lucifer asked me with a lopsided grin. When he saw the exasperated expression on my face he turned serious. “Very well to business. I have come to warn you.”

“Okay what fresh Hell has my aunts or uncles from the other side cooked up this time?” I asked him with a put upon sigh.

“I have learned that Gabriel shall be the next to judge you. Be warned his word is Chastity. Any lustful thoughts will open the door to your further downfall.” Lucifer told me as he transformed my towel into a robe. “As much as I cherish you as my only child Ashley. I have no real desire to see either you or your mother ruling at my side in Hell.”

“Yeah well then you should have kept your Heaven siblings in line and out of my life to start with.” I snorted as I shouldered my way pass him and out the bathroom. “Besides daddy dearest. There is more than just sexual lust. Let’s be honest with each other. It doesn’t matter what happens with Gabriel. I’m still going to end up in Hell and Uncle Gabby is going to get his ass hand to him on a platter.”

“If that is the way you feel Ashley. I won’t stand in your way.” Lucifer chuckled. “Who am I to tell you how to be rebellious?”

“Only the original Rebel.” I snarked as I headed for my room. The last thing I saw or heard of my father was a puff of reddish smoke and a soft chuckle.

“Man, I have got to have the most screwed up family in the world.” I mumbled as I pulled on my speedo swimsuit that I was using for underwear. I quickly pulled on a pair of tube socks and jeans. After I pulled on my favorite Judas Priests t-shirt I heard a soft chuckle from behind me. Turning around I found that I wasn’t alone in my bedroom. Standing in the corner was a woman I had never seen before. I could tell that she was a fallen angel by her horns. “I’m going to make a guess here. You’re one of my aunts?”

“Correct young Ashley. I am Asmodeus. The Demon Lord for the sin of Lust.” She told me as she pushed away from the corner. “I am surprised that you have already found the key to my Word.”

“I would be a fool to not understand the full implications of Lust. After all there are all kinds of lust.” I told her with a grin.

“Oh really. Please enlighten me young one to your vast wisdom of my Word.” Asmodeus challenged me with a soft chuckle.

“There is the lust for blood, a lust for battle, a lust for fine wines and foods. The greatest of all lusts is the lust for life. The biggest mistake all mortals, not to mention a few immortals, make is equating lust strictly with sex appeal. According to Webster’s Dictionary Lust is defined as a psychological force producing intense desire for something or circumstance while already having a significant amount of the desired object.” I told her as I slipped my feet into my shoes. “I am half dragonoid and because my Word is Vengeance. I have a natural lust for conflict.”

“Very good Princess. You truly do understand your nature. As a gift I will grant you a boon. Win your battle with Gabriel and I will give you dominion over the Lilium.” Before I could ask her who or what was the Lillium. Asmodeus vanished from my room. Only the soft smell of lavender and lilacs remained.

“I really need to have a talk with mom. This place is becoming busier than a New York subway station for the damned underworld.” I grumbled and headed downstairs. As I entered the kitchen it was to the sounds of laughter. Female laughter. “Hey mom who’s visiting us this early?”

“Ashley I would like for you to meet an old friend of mine.” Mom told me as I looked to where Asmodeus was sitting. As the scowl crossed my face mom sighed. “Asmodeus please tell me you didn’t pop in via Ashley’s room?”

“I cannot tell a lie.” Asmodeus giggled as she took down a coffee cup. “I just had to meet the brash young man that has Sandy, and Ralf pissing in each other’s cornflakes. With Astaroth and Belphegor cackling like a loons.”

“At least she let me dress before popping out of nowhere mom.” I told my mother and grabbed my coffee. “Unlike daddy. He caught me coming out of the shower. By the way. I thought they had to have permission to enter our home?”

“Well, your father and Asmodeus have always had permission to enter our home. Until recently your Uncle Raphael had that same privilege.” Mom told me with a friendly smile before removing over so I could sit down next to her.

“Okay. Are there any more relatives have especial access that I need to know about?” I asked before taking a sip of my coffee.

“Nope. Though Asmodeus and your father have always been careful never appear when you were here.” Mom told me with a chuckle. “Though it’s a good thing that Asmodeus is here today. She has always had a hand in modern fashions.”

“Just because I follow the human world’s current trends in women’s fashions. I am no fashionista.” Asmodeus sniffed before giggling. “I will admit to having influenced them towards slightly more sexually provocative designs.”

“Of course. Why wouldn’t the Demon Lord of Lust pay attention to current trends in fashions for women. What I want to know. Is who monitors the trends in men’s fashions for you?” I asked Asmodeus with a smirk.

“Oh, I leave that to my PA Baraqiel. I swear that man has an eye for men’s fashion that is unmatched. His sense of fashion is truly god like at certain times.” Asmodeus told me with a chuckle.

“You’re not talking about the Persian god Baraqiel are you?” I asked her.

“Now that I think about it he was the God for the Loom of Fate in the Persian Empire.” Asmodeus answered thoughtfully before taking a drink of her coffee. “I wouldn’t be surprised if he was. So many of the ancient Gods and Goddess were demonized by the Big Three as they rose to power.”

“Just how many ancient gods and goddess are in hell?” I asked in shock.

“Several hundred I think. To be honest with you. I really don’t know. I think only your father knows exactly how many of the ancient gods now work us.” Asmodeus answered me honestly before a crack of thunder rolled across the sky. “Looks like my brother just dropped for a visit. Gabriel always did like to make a flashy entrance. The pompous ass.”

“Any idea of where he’ll show up?” Mom asked her.

“He’s waiting for me at the old Black Barn nursey.” I told her and stood up slowly. I took off my t-shirt then flexed my shoulders. As my wings and tail appeared Asmodeus jumped from her seat. I could feel the fear rolling off of her. “Don’t worry Asmodeus. So long as you protect my mother you need not fear me or my Word.”

“It’s not thy Word I fear child of Lucifer. It’s thy lust.” Asmodeus shivered. “Lilith I tell thy truth here and now. None of thine kin hast ever held such raw, overwhelming, lust for open combat.”

“Good. The bastard well feel me coming. I hate having to hunt down the assholes who piss me off.” I snarled before kissing mom on the cheek. “I’ll be back shortly mom. I got an ass beating to deliver.”

As I leaped into the sky from the backyard I heard mom call out. “Have fun storming the castle sweetheart. Please be back before two. Vicky’s is having a two for one sale on all bra and panty sets until four.”

-----tbc-----