One of the best features of Big Closet is the ignore list.
Years ago, I read a book about the virtues of avoiding toxic people. I made this a pillar for my business. I told my people that we needed to be vigilant to work only with that forty percent of those who tried to do business with us who were honest, knowledgeable, and willing to do the necessary hard work. Often new employees would challenge this guideline suggesting that people change. Evidently they had read a book about redemption. I would respond that the poster child for redemption was Paul. And, in my opinion Paul had only learned how to hide his ugliness and continued through his writings to promote bigotry. A leopard does not change his spots.
By avoiding toxic people we avoided the legal entanglements they foster. And, we felt much better at the end of the day.
My guess is that a certain segment of BC users will put me on their ignore list. Try it. It's simple and empowering. If it offends you that I think Paul was a creep. . .you're probably better off not reading what I post.
Erin is all about inclusion. Now more than ever. By having an Ignore feature she isn't nurturing BC censorship. She actually is allowing a community to thrive with wildly diverse opinions.
I believe that we are in a global struggle against authoritarianism. I believe it is necessary to call out bigotry. I'm not shy about sharing my opinions. There are three signs on my lawn today. Ukraine's flag, Roe support, and a sign stating nine principles I espouse.. However, I don't stand outside our neighborhood grocery store and button hole strangers about the asshole red state governors.
That would be accurate but ineffective and ethically wrong. There is a time and place.
I believe BC is a logical target for the extremist who have hijacked the Republican party. However, there are many good reasons to temper my opinions in BC blogs.
First of all is the reality that Erin is the host and has the right and duty to make her guests comfortable..
That doesn't mean I have to read the far right nonsense that is often posted here.
That's what the ignore list is for and I will be using it going forward. I also will exercise more restraint in what I post. Not because I fear the wrath of Erin, because she is not Paulish, but because the primary mission of BC is important and should not be thwarted.
Jill
Comments
Paul Who?
Which Paul are you writing of? There is the one in the New Testament, who, in my opinion was a jerk. Or is there another Paul that I do not know?
Gwen
Which Paul
I'm speaking of Paul in the new testament.
I'm reminded of another Paul. My cousin Paul allowed a toxic person to take over his life. He was in the eighth grade (14) when the parish priest raped him. No one would believe him. He committed suicide.
That toxic clergyman raped quite a number of young boys. At least one other boy also committed suicide. He remained a priest for many years after that hiding behind his collar.
Paul in the Bible is a misogynist and a homophobe. He introduced bigotry to a religious movement based on love and inclusiveness. Christ went out of his way in actions and words to preach inclusiveness. Paul did everything he could to establish male, straight dominance.
It's fairly clear to anyone who can read Who was right.
Yet, we have ministers and priests preaching about the "evils" of drag queens.
Jill
Angela Rasch (Jill M I)
Too Many Jerks
Today I only hold on to my belief in God, and cautiously Jesus, though I think that most religions are off. I follow Archeology, and many tenets of Islam. Men did not learn from Abraham. I wonder what will become of us? My son and oldest daughters are straight up religious nutters. My youngest daughter is a sweet, mostly not religeous.
I second support for the 'ignore' list.
One of the nicest parts of it is that you can still see when people you've ignored DO post things, but the text is hidden unless you choose to click into it: its function is one of allowing you avoidance, not ignorance. Likewise, you can remove someone from your ignore list at any time, so if they DO change, you can recognize that.
Also, as far as I'm aware the 'ignore' list doesn't inform the people you have on it that they've been added to it. It... *might* do so if they try to send you a DM? But I don't rightly recall on that point.
Jill said it rightly: there's a time and a place for everything, and sometimes being a good neighbor means ignoring others... even when they're not being a good neighbor themselves.
Keep it friendly, give everyone the benefit of the doubt, and remember that it's not about you. But also, you ARE important, and you ARE welcome, and loved.
Hugs to everyone.
Melanie E.
'Also, as far as I'm aware
'Also, as far as I'm aware the 'ignore' list doesn't inform the people you have on it that they've been added to it. It... *might* do so if they try to send you a DM?'
It does. Trust me on that.
I can attest to that. One
I can attest to that. One person took my (private) suggestion that her character was too much of a Mary Sue/SuperMan to offended extremes. So, I found that out.
I'll get a life when it's proven and substantiated to be better than what I'm currently experiencing.
Voltaire
Voltaire is credited with saying, “I may disapprove of what you say, but I will defend to the death your right to say it.”
I have taken that as my personal philosophy. Ignore list? I don't need no stinking ignore list. There are a few folks here on BCTS that I choose not to read either their stories or their blogs for various reasons. But I've never formally put anyone on my ignore list.
BCTS in not here to conform to my particular bent, nor is it here to stroke my ego. It's here to provide a community for a segment of misfits. Of which I'm probably high on the list toward being number one in the category. And within that community there exist a few who are misfits even there. So what do we do about? Nothing. Live and let live. We put on our big girl panties and suck it up; go about our daily lives without worrying about what someone we really don't know has to say that's in opposition to the way we think or feel.
As a child when I was teased by other kids in the neighborhood (weren't we all) and came home crying to my dad about it. He'd tell me to get a tougher skin and not let it bother me. Good advise. It has served me well over the years.
Hugs
Patricia
Happiness is being all dressed up and HAVING some place to go.
Semper in femineo gerunt
Ich bin eine Mann
My ignore list is empty
I've never gotten incensed enough for that move. That doesn't mean that I haven't wished some might be better served keeping quiet.. But still I'd rather keep an open mind. Sometimes reading between the lines gives insight into why they said what they did. I am often rewarded for my temperance by later statements.
If I offend anyone here I do sincerely apologize. It is the farthest thing from intent.
Ron
Ignore list
Except for the time I accidently ignored myself, I've never used the ignore list. And I probably never will.
Melanie
Once
The ignore list is an alternative. In over two decades of being on BC, I've used it ONCE. Once before that I had someone on ignore and have no idea how that happened and remedied it as soon as I discovered it.
Yesterday, was the first time I put anyone on that list on purpose.
Because ignoring the person is better than creating a shitstorm.
I can live almost anywhere. I choose to live in an eclectic neighborhood because I value a variety of values and ideas.
If someone walked on my lawn I would first try to convince them not to. If that didn't work I would find a way to ignore them.
I live next to a fundamentalist church. Their services are boisterous. Mostly what we hear are the drums pounding out a gospel beat. The church was there when we moved in. It could be a opioid house. We ignore the noise.
I live within walking distance of an NHL arena. On hockey nights our streets are flooded with goofballs in Wild regalia. They're as loud as they are colorful. We ignore them.
Ignoring people is part of live.
Jill
Angela Rasch (Jill M I)
Conscious of the Need for Comfort
I did not know about the Ignore feature, but I won't be using it. I am open to hearing any views, and to offering a counterpoint if I feel it is needed.
But just yesterday I asked my proofreader for her opinion as to whether I should post here a bundle of my "Christian Feminization Academy" vignettes that have appeared individually on Fictionmania. I have not posted any of those before now because I know that we have deeply Christian people in our family here, and these stories poke fun at some Christian thinking on transgender issues. I am not sure if this function allows for the exclusion of subject rather than writer, but I would not want to blindfolded out of existence just because of my occasionally twisted sense of humor.
Should I or shouldn't I?
Maryanne
I say why not? Just make it
I say why not? Just make it clear what it is, and people can decide not to read them or not.
I'll get a life when it's proven and substantiated to be better than what I'm currently experiencing.
Christian Feminization stories
I read the first few you posted on FM and didn't care for them, which surprised me because you are one of my favorite authors. So now I ignore them (see, a use for ignoring) and just read the rest of your work. And not because I'm offended by them, because I'm not a Christian. I just didn't like them.
So, I would say, don't post them here.
I will readily admit that I have a few on my……
Ignore list. Just a few, as in all honesty I don’t find that many here I feel that way about.
But I can tell you that I would love to have an ignore list on Linked In, lol. It annoys me no end that I joined what was purported to be a means to network professionally, a business network - only to end up dealing with misogynists, bigots, homophobes, and idiotic Trump supporters. Now there’s a site that needs an ignore list!
D. Eden
Dum Vivimus, Vivamus
There Was One Here
Who sickened me every time he posted. I detected a dreadful hypocrisy in his posts. Unfortunately, not many agreed with me. However, my problem with him was resolved by his death and I have not had cause to "ignore" anybody else since.
I can stomach a wide range of opinions and just decline to respond to those which I really dislike without formally putting them on any "ignore" list.
Well, since I'm not dead (yet
Well, since I'm not dead (yet), it couldn't have been me. I'd like to think I'm well aware of my hippocracy, and will admit it.
I'll get a life when it's proven and substantiated to be better than what I'm currently experiencing.
Definitely Not You!
I have no difficulty tolerating the times when you are wrong!
Ignoring people can have its problems
You only find out they've been plotting against you when the manure hits the oscillating thingy. However, we can't deal with everyone so we ignore them in the hope that they go away. Unfortunately, the right-wing in politics is rising again in The US and UK as well as other parts of Europe and Asia. It will possibly end in war again like it did last time. The p[eople on this planet are possibly the most stupid life forms that exist. They all have a brain but seem to have lost the instructions for using it.
Angharad