Last year I wrote a story about a trans woman helping a man with a yearning to be a woman. He was married the whole 9 yards, but he had secretly always wanted to be a woman.
https://bigclosetr.us/topshelf/fiction/94307/finding-my-level
https://bigclosetr.us/topshelf/fiction/94320/finding-my-leve...
Part one on here did well. 152 kudos. Honestly, I do pigeonhole the sites I post on.
Bigcloset - Trans stories with trans issues do well (sex doesn't)
Fictionmania - Forced crossdressing and feminization do well (sex sometimes)
Literotica - sex does well, and that seemed about it.
I posted the first 2 parts as one story on Literotica and was surprised by some of the comments. I had not read many of them for a while.
Wow that hits close to home. I always knew that there were others that feel that way even though many of us feel all alone and don’t think anyone would understand and accept our situations. Considering all the violence and negativity against transgender individuals is it any doubt that we are scared. Thanks leeanna for helping me to feel more normal.
More than a fantasy. A dream for any closeted trans person. Thank you for spelling out what I think we have all yearned for at some point or for most of our lives.
Sigh. A lovely, bittersweet story that captures the journey and struggle. Here’s to all of us finding our paths to ourselves!
Well you nailed that one !
Having been in that situation myself i almost cryed when Dan did.
I have also been in Mandy's shoes to a degree. I lived 12 years totally En Femme after divorcing my wife of 27 years. I never felt the desire to have SRS, I simply enjoyed the thrill of living in that world 24/7. I even owned and opperated an Alternative Life styles night club for a while. If people only knew the number of men who yern to experience their feminine longings in real life.
As someone going through a similar situation, this story really spoke to me.
To say that this is a wonderful story is not near enough. I am certain, judging by the comments, that you have struck the inner soul of so very many. There is a vast opportunity to expand on this story in so many ways however, I strongly feel any additions would only detract from the story. This story is real littérateur that inspires real emotion.
Fantastic story , as a 61 yr old closeted CD & wanting to transition; I need to meet someone to help me.
To avoid some of the abuse you can get from trolls on Literotica, I put the opposite warning a that I put on here. On Bigcloset I write "this story contains sex."
I wrote "This is a story about a trans woman helping out a closet trans woman. NOT a sex story."
What surprised me was that a non-sex story got a good score on what is primarily a sex story site. I found some of the comments sad. So many closet trans women longing for help and approval.
I point some of them in the direction of Bigcloset, the ones that post their names. You get so much support from this site from people that understand the problems you have. Sadly most of the comments were from "Annonymous"
Comments
those comments that you listed...
Those comments that you listed touched me deeply, too,
charlie
https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/missing-without-a-trace-cha...
https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/832524
Trans is NOT a Simple Thing
Leeanna, I was reading an "experience expert" on trans issues last week. The lady had a degree in psychology which is supposed to mean something. She like so many clueless people, believe transgender is a male or female, black and white issue.
One can not be made transgender nor can transgender be removed if they are trans. It's God's gift designed in when the sperm and egg begin dividing trillions of times into the perfect male or the perfect female. Sometimes the blueprint or building plans are wrong or they are read wrong.
Now add in each life is different in how family and society accepts a person who isn't a perfect female or perfect male. I dare say MtF transgender is definitely operating with female values and emotions. They try and make the best of what life gave them. They marry, have kids, are committed to doing what any woman does even when she didn't marry her Prince Charming. She stays the course.
This isn't true in every situation but it is in the majority. She may be the man of the house but she's a woman in disguise working with female emotions and values. She accepts the family life offering her support as any woman would. In transgender there are all female and all male. There are also a thousand degrees in between where she isn't that committed to "sticking it out". What a train wreck experts cause when defining transgender instead of understanding not all of them is totally male or female. Transvestite is a degree of transgender. They don't have the drive to go all the way.
Hugs Leeanna
Barb
The deepest most painful cut doesn't come from steel. It comes from those who refuse to understand.
Oklahoma born and raised cowgirl
Title??
Hi Leeanna,
What is the name of this story. It sounds like my story too.
I have always felt that I should be a woman, and I only recently discovered that I am likely to be a DES (Diethylstilbestrol) son.
Many of my stories I write as people who repress their TG nature and discover it through complex circumstances, but I think at the heart of this is the idea that if circumstances force a change of sex then we are not responsible for what happens.
Many who suppress or retreat from their true selves do so because they fear the disapproval / opprobrium.
But when I get comments like you have received it pleases me that my stories ca help.
I get my own release from writing them.
As for what is a transwoman and what is a transvestite? There is no answer. What is a personality? To call it a spectrum does not do the job - it is a pantone chart with every color and shade merging
Maryanne
Maryanne
DES
I'm very confident that I was also exposed to DES.
I recently learned some new facts about my mother's pregnancy with me which indicate that she was likely on DES - but she was already 90 when I made my discoveries and I never felt I could ask her the needed questions.
When I was born I had a blood condition - Rhesus disease - which only affects pregnancies _after_ the first pregnancy. As I am the eldest she must have miscarried before me. She was also kept in hospital for the last 3 months of the pregnancy although she wasn't actually ill. This was in the 1950's when DES was the go-to treatment to supposedly reduce the risk of miscarriage.
Scott Kerlin - who runs a DES group on facebook and has been researching this for many years - reports several hundred DES "sons" who are trans.
In some ways DES is the "new" thalidomide, although of course not as visibly devastating as that was. The scary thing is that DES was widely prescribed to pregnant women from the 1940's to the 1970's. So widely that there were dozens of branded medications that had it as an active ingredient.
It doesn't matter now. I am as I am, and it was no-ones fault and certainly not my mother's. She always wondered if she had done something wrong with me to cause it, and nothing would have been gained by making her feel even more guilty when all she did was take what doctors gave her.
Alison
Maryanne, I have put the link
Maryanne, I have put the link to the stories on this site in the original post. I just looked at some the comments I got on here. One from Jannebarbarella describes my life perfectly.
Submitted by joannebarbarella on Sat, 2022/06/04 - 2:40am
I was for many years in a similar situation to Dan. Luckily for me my work took me away from home quite frequently and I was able to indulge myself by dressing on those occasions. It relieved the pressure enough for me to continue with my charade of being male that I could function reasonably normally (!) knowing that I would get another chance to be myself before too long.
Up until covid I stayed away 6-8 nights a month. I would wind down and relax in hotel rooms. Just dress and watch TV. Now the only chance I get is when I go on 3 day "fishing trips" I do actually fish some days for a few hours then stay as Leeanna the rest of the time. I am away to Yarmouth this weekend with my mother and am going to have some mother-daughter time.
I have not heard of DES, just read that it was used in the UK.
DES was given widely to pregnant women between 1940 and 1971 to prevent complications during pregnancy. DES was provided under many different product names and also in various forms, such as pills, creams, and vaginal suppositories.
https://youtu.be/l0CftzhhKPQ
Leeanna
95% certainty
My mother miscarried late between my older brother and myself - a girl. She ended up with 3 sons. She loved us all, but I know she suffered terribly from the miscarriage and the lost daughter, even into old age. DES was being prescribed at the time, but I knew nothing about it and so never could have asked. But my belief that I was female is as old as any memory I have.
But I was active and boisterous as a youngster and with 2 brothers and a manly father I adored, I did everything I could to be a boy and a man. For me crossdressing did nothing. I just dreamed girly dreams.
I decided that I would leave home and live as a woman without telling anybody but my mother. I had grown my hair and started hormones while hiding it all under a beard. I went to live somewhere else and It just did it. I ended up backing out for a bunch of reasons but I am glad that I tried it and that I experienced a little bit of life as a woman. It remains something I treasure, like the memory of a perfect holiday, even though it was nothing near perfect at the time.
Life just moved on and I live as I live. I write stories to be me, and little messages like this to people who are just like me, and I am happy.
I still have girly dreams, as you will know if you read my stories.
Hugs
Maryanne
DES (diethylstilbestrol)
When it came out in the early '70's that DES daughters had an increased risk of clear cell adenocarcinoma, my mother informed both my sister and me that she had been given DES for spotting during both pregnancies, 1945 for my sister and 1948 for me. Neither of us has developed cancer, though who knows what other effects it had.