Thank you Barbie, you have it right.

Those of us who see ourselves as women should see things from a woman's point of view, and some "activists" are making things worse, not better. When we demand _our_ rights to be treated fairly and equitably we must not lose sight of the fact that fairness cuts both ways, and gaining rights which come at the price of taking something away from those who were born women is not fair for those women. We should remember this.

There are currently two trans debates in the news here in the UK, and some of our activists seem to me to be on the wrong side of both, and some of us will be punished for it. The assumption of some seems to be that we are all on the same side and this will hurt us.

Battle 1: Woman-only spaces, particularly women's prisons. A rapist is a rapist is a rapist. They are proven dangers to women, and as such women should be protected from them. Being a rapist or other sexual predator is the only thing which matters here, whether that person is - or claims to be - trans is irrelevant, their actions should exclude them from places where they can continue being a danger to women. If I were foolish or unlucky enough to be incarcerated I would be terrified of being confined with such a person. I am not like them, and they are not like me.

Battle 2: Women's Sports. I've said this before, but those of us who are unfortunate enough to have gone through a male puberty are *not* the same as born women. Yes, I hate that fact too, but it is still true. In some sports this will potentially give us an advantage, in others less so. But whether it does or not is another thing that doesn't matter. As soon as a trans woman wins anything in sports there will be the _perception_ of cheating, or having some advantage. And the higher the level of the sport, the worse that will be, and that is because - rightly or wrongly - we will be seen as having deprived a "real" woman of something precious or even valuable. No-one would care if a trans woman played, say, golf very badly and had some fun and exercise doing it. However, take that to the top level and have that person win an Olympic gold medal, or the Women's Open and the cries of "not fair" will start and, depending on the sport, those cries could be both valid and justifiable. Levels between that bad amateur and the Olympic Gold medal will still be seen that way.

Equality means equal, fairness must be fair for all sides or it is fair for no-one.

I wish these things were different, but they are not. Before I transitioned I was a high level sportsman - yes, man. I would have loved to continue my sport post transition, but that would not have been fair to the women competitors, and even if I had no advantage from my unfortunate puberty (which I did have) I would have been resented and probably hated every time I won something.

I walked away from the sport I loved. It was part of the price, and I paid it. This was 30+ years ago, and I believe more than ever that it was the right thing to do. I sacrificed other things to be who I really was - as did most or all of us. Marriage, family, work prospects, friends, financial security. My sport was just one more thing, and I paid that price willingly if slightly resentfully as sorting myself out was my priority.

If rights for us means infringing someone else's rights then who are we to claim that what we want matters more.

Some of the other battles were right and fair, and we have won the important fights here in the UK. I don't want to be resented or hated by the wider population because of some "activists" who have their own agenda which I do not support. Things here in the UK have been pretty good for the last 10 years plus, we should take the win and get on with our lives.

/rant

Alison