Being in the now has the disadvantage of sometimes not seeing changes, even expected ones, until they are upon you. The past month both Luke and Mary were in the now. They were oblivious to how close her graduation was. They paid no mind to the changing of the day on the calendar. They made the unconscious decision to do so. How could they enjoy the bliss of being in the presence of the one who completes them if they knew the clock was ticking on it. That soon they would be without each other.
The sounds of Pomp and Circumstance being played by the underclass members of Jerry Brown High School Marching Band was a huge wake-up call for Luke. Ever since prom, he had been living in a dream. Each day was a perfect day and also he was under the delusion that this bliss would not end. Luke’s reality alarm clock going off woke him up. He knew his time in Camelot was quickly coming to an end. Soon Mary would be out of his life. She would only reside in his heart and memories.
Seeing the woman he loved, in her cap and gown, walking in the promenade of graduating seniors brought many different tears to his eyes. Tears of joy came from seeing his soulmate moving on to live her dreams. Tears of pain from not being a part of those dreams. They both had their own path to follow. Tears of love from caring about Mary for who she was not what she did for him. Tears of acceptance from telling himself the truth. This phase of his life was soon to be over. The only tears that a human has which were missing from Luke’s eyes were crocodile tears. All of his feelings were genuine and sincere.
Luke only fought back the tears of pain, loss, and sadness. Now was a time to celebrate. Mary was moving on to flying high. Wanting to be a pilot was part of her life before they became one. She would be happy and he would be happy also, he had got early acceptance to Stanford. Hard working people who chase their dreams are always happy. He saw that all the time on the shows he watched. Luke forgot one important fact, the Sun always shines on TV.
Mary, looking at Luke as she was walking down the aisle, got one final lesson from her schooling. Achievements and goals in life come with a price. There was a huge price she was paying for graduating high school and being able to go on to her next path in life, Luke will not be traversing it with her. This was the moment the girl was waiting for her entire life, yet it felt empty. She only was going to be able to share it with the person who meant the most to her. The fruit of her labors will only go on her plate. Mary will not be able to offer any to Luke.
Thinking of never being able to talk about her day with Luke made Mary start to panic. Her heart started to race. She played off her fear of never finding anyone as worthy as Luke to share her plate with as being childish. Afterall, she was given the gift of seeing herself through Luke’s eye. She knew she was an amazing person and in life, amazing people end up with amazing people. That is what she saw on the shows she watched. Mary forgot the one important fact, the Sun always shines on TV.
**************
Nothing would be better to Lori than if her mom and dad were busy with something when she opened the door. The heartbroken girl did not have the energy to engage with them. She used up all her strength and will power holding up a strong front infront of Matt, Renee, Tracy and Ming along with Amanda and Kat. Being around friends did help take the panging pain away from Lori’s heart until she saw one of the two couples show each other a little affection. Seeing Matt rubbing Renee back or Tracy finding any reason to touch Ming was a reminder of her relationship with Blake.
The sadness which came with those memories were not from what she lost, but from what she had. Her relationship with Blake was one-sided. He was not with Lori for who she was, but what he wanted to get from her, to get into her pants. Lori did take little solace in the fact she did not give in to him. That she did save herself for someone special. That was of course if she could find someone special. Having your heart broken by a person of low character like Blake was a jolt to a person’s self-confidence.
Lori losing her self-confidence changed her perception of who she was. The doubt of being worthy of having a special someone needed to be justified. The maturity she gained was now being seen as her trying to stay out of trouble. Lori felt that she was not acting good because she was a good person, but she did not want to face the consequences of bad actions.
Lori was greeted by her mom and dad talking about Alice’s upcoming 25th class reunion. Her mom was class president so she was in charge of running the event. Even if she had not hold that title, Alice would have forced herself onto the committee. She wanted the weekend to be as spectacular as she remembered her highschool days. Afterall, she was the Nostalgia Queen. This weekend had to reinforce how she saw herself, the most popular girl in school. That can only hold true if her class reunion was the best class reunion any of her classmates could ever hope to have.
Them talking about the most important event coming up in Alice’s life should have made it easy for Lori to greet them and then leave them. This was sadly not true for the girl Alice saw as her protege. Alice wanted Lori more involved in the planning. Her daughter was going to have the same responsibility of running her class reunions. Alice also wanted Lori to hear all about her court. The three ladies-in-waiting who worked diligently to make sure their Queen kept her power.
After saying hi to her parents then saying she was going up to her room, that dreaded word of wait came out of Alice’s mouth. Lori rolled her eyes. If Alice was not so wrapped up in living in the past she would not have looked kindly on her daughter’s blatant show of disapproval. The non-enthusiastic “what” Lori gave, was also blown off by Alice. She was feeling good about being able to relive her highschool days for a weekend, so she assumed the lack of energy from her daughter was just Lori being tired.
“Lori I just want your opinion on what you think would be the best activity for my class on the day before the reunion. I was thinking of having us go to Kennywood. We could spend the day riding some rides and not all have to be together the entire time.”
Alice’s other option was going to stay a mystery. Lori gave a one word answer of cool and then excuse herself for the evening. Fred could tell that his daughter was not feeling the discussion so before his wife could continue talking about her vanity project he excused Lori. He was a supporting husband so he had to listen to Alice revisiting and trying to relive her glory days, their daughter need not.
***********************
The week before Luke was going back to visit his family, he and Mary were always at each other's side, but never alone. They went out of their way to make sure that they had company. The other people around them chased away the building tension from their upcoming separation. They both were trying to figure out a way to stay together. Neither could and not failing the other made them feel pressure.
The issue was unsolvable because of Luke and Mary’s similar thinking. They would never dream of asking the other to give up their dreams. Having one give up a dream would just lead to resentment. Mary and Luke much rather be apart and still have the love for each other in their heart, than stay together and lose the love. Living on in each other’s hearts was more important to them than living together.
The star crossed lovers could not offer to give up their dream either. How could either of them expect the other to accept something they would not. Luke would never let Mary give up on her goal of being a fighter pilot and Mary would much rather never be up in the sky than have Luke not be the best educator he could.
Eck and Lil’ losing two weeks together did not add to the tension. This was for they were both going to be out of state from circumstances out of their control. Luke’s visit back to his parents was made by his mom. Alice wanted it at the beginning of the summer because of her class reunion. Luke needed to be back in Western Pa so he could meet her highschool friends. How else could Alice project having the perfect life, one which a homecoming queen deserved, if her son was so far away. Mary had a week of orientation at the Air Force Academy. After that, she was going up to Oregon to visit family.
********************
During Luke’s visit back home Alice felt like she was running around like the Red Queen would have her, without her head. The Nostalgia Queen was trying to do too much to impress people from her past. She was making sure every little detail was covered for her reunion weekend, and making contingency plans for if her contingency plans did not work out. This did not give her time to spend with Luke, even after she called him to her court to be in her presence.
Alice’s perpetual planning was a blessing for Luke. He wanted to spend time with his mom as much as a vampire wanted to soak in the sun. Luke rightfully held his mom never giving him a sincere apology about how she treated him against her. This made the young man resentful towards his mom. This resent was growing as Alice was putting making herself look good to strangers she used to know in front of spending time with her son. If Luke did not love her this would have made him apathetic towards his unregretful mom.
Even if Luke had a healthy strong relationship with Alice he still would have been happy. Ever since Luke had been back in Pittsburgh he had been making up for lost time with his friends.The Saturday Morning Bike Club were as close together as riders in a peloton. The harmony between Luke, Matt and Renee came from them all wanting to sing with each other. Luke had finally felt welcomed and back at home in Pittsburgh again.
Tracy and Ming were always around also. Getting to spend time with Tracy again was great. Luke was so happy to see how much his friend had matured from being that insecure lip biting girl. Getting to know Ming was a pleasure. Luke knew that Ming was a huge influence on Lori and this young man had help his twin sister grow as a person. If not for Ming there is a good chance that Lori and Luke would not have been able to start to repair their relationship.
Lori was another story. Luke was worried about her. He knew that Blake was no good for her so he was happy that those two broke up, but he was broken up by how hard his sister was taking it. Having someone you thought cared for you cheat on you was very forgein to Luke. That betrayal had to hurt so much, yet it was hard for him to reach out to Lori. He offered to spend time with her but she wanted the safety of her solitude. If no one was around they could not hurt her and she could not hurt them.
Even if Lori was in the mood for company, Luke would not fit the bill. Seeing her brother was a constant reminder of who she used to be. Luke had forgiven her for her past transgressions, but she had not forgiven herself. Luke wanting to be there for his sister during her time of need just made her feel unworthy of self-absolution. She was seeing her pain as penntance for all the things she had done to Luke.
Luke’s fifth day back home was two days before the start of Alice’s reunion weekend. Those two were going to have lunch out on the patio together. This was when she was finally able to schedule to spend time with only herself and her son.
As Alice was grilling the burgers Lori stepped out onto the patio. The girl was ready to quit from being in hiding from her past and how she saw herself. This moment of strength quickly went away when she saw Luke and she excused herself for intruding. She was not ready to directly face her brother. His presence was a constant reminder of who she thought she was. Plus his spending time with their mom was more important to Lori than her need to start living life again. She knew her mom would put the spotlight on her once again and right now Alice’s attention should be on Luke.
Alice was happy to see her daughter out and made a decree that she stayed and had lunch with them. The Nostalgia Queen wanted to spend time with her kingdom’s princess. They would be able to talk about the upcoming weekend.
Lori meekly declined as she was making sure to not look in Luke’s direction. Seeing him brought too much shame to her.
Alice got pissed that Lori was not obeying her order. She wanted to see her daughter right then and that would happen. She put the blame on not getting her way on Luke “Lori it will be only me and you eating lunch. Luke can head down to Tracy’s or Matt’s.”
Luke was fine about the plans being canceled. He much rather be spending time with anyone other than Alice and his sister was finally coming around to joining the living. As he started to escape the unwanted obligation of being in the presence of his mom Lori said “No, Luke you stay. I am going back to my room.”
Alice was happy with Luke leaving. She was going to be able to work spending time with him later. “Lori, it is fine Luke understands that you need me right now.”
“No, mom, no. You always put me ahead of Luke. You need to quit doing that. That is one of the reasons why Luke does not live at home. You treated him wrong and always downplayed the damage you did to him. You never even apologized to him for how you putting him in a dress messed up his childhood
“I am the other reason. I treated him badly. I saw him beneath me. I was stupid then, I am beneath him and do not deserve him as a brother. I do deserve to feel how I feel now. I deserve to have a broken heart for the rest of my life. I deserve to have people treat me as bad as Blake did because I am not a good person.”
Luke might have wanted out of his mom’s presence but could not let his sister downtrod herself. “Lori you don’t deserve to be treated bad. You have changed so much since I moved to California. You are not that self-centered brat that was competing for attention and would get it at any cost. I know that for that picture you painted of the cove. I have it hanging in my room. It was so touching you had that small detail of me and Mary out in the water together looking for a wave to ride. It showed you cared for me and know who I am.”
“I am sorry Luke. I should have been happy that so many of our friends liked you. I should have never been jealous. I was wrong for putting you down whenever I could and the easiest way possible. I will never do that again. I will alway try to make your life better when I can. I know right now me not being around is what will make your life better.”
“Lori I have forgiven you a long time ago. You need to forgive yourself. I do not know how to help you but I will be here for you and around. You becoming a bigger part of my life is how you can make it better,”
“Also it is fine that your mom never apologized. Why would she? She is not sorry. She does not care about seeing me, she just wants to put on a good front for her classmates. She needs them to see that she has a perfect life. That is why I am home now. It is not to spend time with me but to show me off to better how people see her.”
Alice was stupefied by hearing the words out of her children’s mouths. Her heart was filled with pain by the revelation that Luke did not believe she was sorry. She was and just assumed Luke knew. She said it once to him. That was always enough when her parents did something wrong. She knew now that was wrong. That not giving a proper apology was just sweeping the issue under the rug. Alice started to cry.
“Luke, I am sorry, I treated you so badly. I am not a good mother to you. I never was. You have to believe me that I lied to myself and thought that what I did was not that bad. This is the truth you were strong enough to handle it. That does not mean you should have. I should have been there for you. I should have never put how I wanted your childhoods to be as an expectation.
“I am happy for one thing, you finally found a good mom. My sister did more for you in three years than I have done in your entire life. I know we will never have the mother son bond but please let me somehow make our relationship better. I am going to make sure I have time for you. I am going to make sure that I am there for you.”
Those words took Luke back to before his mom ever put him in a dress. He admired his mom for admitting she was wrong. The last thing he wanted was to feel apart from her and her to feel apart from him. A child never liked to see their parents cry. Tears were flowing from Luke’s eyes as he was running towards his mom. He went towards her because he wanted to be close to her and do whatever he could to take away her pain. He hugged his mom and said “I love you mommy. You are not a meany. You are my mom and you will always be her. Be my mom.”
At that moment Alice became a true mom to Luke. She was going to be there for him and do what she could to make his life better. Her wants and desires will freely be beneath doing what is right for Luke. She asked her son what he wanted. Luke sniffling from his nose being clogged said “For me you and Lori to have a nice lunch together. For us to be together as a family.”
Alice said “Lori please stay for lunch we all want you here. We can be together. Your brother wants you here.”
Lori knew the only way to get her strength back was to face her past. That confronting her misdeeds was the only way to have them where they belonged, behind her. It was going to take support from her mom and Luke to do so, but she had faith in them. “I want that also. I want to be with my brother.”
Fred came home after 5 and saw something he never thought he would, Luke and his wife sitting on the patio laughing and having a real conversation. Those two stayed out after lunch and spent the time openly catching up with each other. Luke telling her about his friends and adventures back in California did not feel like he was just performing his duty as a son. He was sharing with his mom.
Fred sat down and joined the conversation. He was not going to question what happened to help the rift between his wife and Luke start to close. Fred was going to enjoy having a real family moment with them for the first time in years.
*******************
The bike park felt like home to Luke. It was a nice June day. The warmth of the sun shining felt good. The light cool breeze made sure that there was no overheating. The air smelled clean. The pleasantness of the weather was shared by the people enjoying this fine day.
Even with it being years since Luke was at the bike park spending time with Matt and Renee, he felt as comfortable as a dog sleeping on its favorite blanket. It also felt as familiar to him as that resting place did to the hound. Being at ease put him in the now. He was not thinking of the impending end of his shared love story with Mary. He was not thinking about how hard it was going to be to adjust to the new normal. He felt like he was where he should be.
Luke was feeling he was home more than visiting when Matt made a comment that it would be great if they could all share their senior year in passing. To Luke’s friend this was just wishful thinking. That statement was an indirect way to say he wanted their friendship to become stronger.
That verbalization of Matt’s thought pulled Luke from being in the now to having to deal with reality. Doing his senior year in California did not seem as enticing as having it with The Saturday Morning Bike Club and rebuilding his connection to his mom. Yes he would be leaving the Cove Crew, but that was always a limited time engagement. He knew he would feel more like an alum during his senior year. The people who gave him a deep connection to the crew would be gone. The worst part is their ghosts would linger and he could not move on from them moving on if he stayed. He loved Dirt and the rest of the crew, but did not have the same comradery. He did not like that being in the crew would feel more like doing his duty than spending time with them.
Luke smiled and agreed with Matt and did not let on with what he was thinking. He did not want to give himself or his friend hope. As they went back to just enjoying being in each other's presence, in the back of his mind Luke was working out how to make Matt’s pipedream a reality.
*****************
The sour part of Bittersweet news was usually painful from the selfish point of view. The pain came from focusing on what was being lost instead of what was being gained. This was why Bridgett and Maurice were so happy after catching up with their nephew Luke on how his trip back to Pittsburgh was going. How could they not be happy that he was going home. They helped Luke go from an insecure little boy to a strong self confident man who looks out for others. Their work was done and his time living with them was over.
Yes they were about to become empty nesters, but they did gain so much which will stay behind. They knew that Shy and Greg K. would still stop by. Those two became surrogate family members and lived too close not just to stop by to say hi.
The evening was upon them, so after expressing their feelings on this good news, went outside to enjoy the sunset and start grilling supper. Knowing the future was going to be bright for all involved added to the joy in their heart and made it easy for them to go back to living their life instead of focusing on the past and what would not be.
*******************
The Craving of the Support Beam was a rite of passage for the Cove Crew. This made it a ritual instead of a ceremony. It was done when it needed to be done instead of a set time and place. With Mary needing to go to the Air Force Academy tomorrow, tonight was the night Mary was going to make her mark on a piece of wood to represent the mark she made on members of the Cove Crew.
Mary craving her name was an act of separation, transition, and reincorporation. She was leaving the crew to move on to the next phase of her life. Even with her not being a member of the Cove Crew, signing her name on that pillar was a promise that she would always be a part of them. That she would live her life in a way which the other members would be proud of. That they would always have a connection. That their impact on her life would not be forgotten.
The makeshift ritual site was set up. All the litter from above the boardwalk was cleared, there were two torches lit, and a path made in the sand from the torches to this year’s Support Beam and then from the Support beam to the firepit. Only those who were craving the beam and their torch bearing could walk that path. They would lead the rest of the Crew to the fire pit to commemorate the beginning of the celebration by lighting it.
All the members of the crew were gathered waiting for Mary and Luke to arrive so she could say her final goodbye to them. Tomorrow she would no longer be one of them, but on an airplane flying towards making one of her dreams a reality.
Luke seeing all the smiling faces of these people made him choke up. Tonight was not only the last time he was going to see Mary, but also the last time he would see their faces. He was also leaving on an airplane tomorrow to fly towards making one of his dreams a reality. He was going to go back home.
He held back the tears. Tonight was about celebrating the future so there was no time for sadness. Tonight was also all about Mary. She deserved to see the biggest smile of the night on his face. The person who had the most room in her heart should be the happiest for her being able to make her desires come true.
Luke was able to spend the day with Mary instead of performing the duty of helping prepare for tonight’s ritual. Dirt made the excuse of giving Eck as much time as possible with Lil’ as to why he did not want his help getting under the boardwalk ready for tonight. The true reason was Dirt knew that Luke was also leaving them soon and did not want one of the people they were honoring tonight to have to do any of the prep work.
Luke going back home was only known by Dirt. If Luke did not feel the responsibility of making sure the next de facto leader of the crew knew, he would have not told him. Dirt kept the secret because he knew it was told to help the crew. Luke’s final gesture before becoming an emeritus member of the Cove Crew was to ensure the good hands they would be left in was prepared to assume his role in keeping the crew strong.
Dirt’s actions with this knowledge would also cement his place as the elder of this tribe called the Cove Crew. He kept Luke’s leaving private until the time was right to expose it to the rest of the crew, right after Mary carved her name. That time was almost upon for the guests of honor arrived.
The direct and unpretentious ceremony was about to start. The Crew knew they did not need bells and whistles added to what occurred at the Craving of the Support Beams to make it memorable. Tonight would be notable by all the memories which were shared as the participants of the carving placed their name on the beam.
Dirt called for Mary as soon as Luke and her stopped. The sudden beginning was not due to Dirt being in a hurry to get it over. He wanted to make sure that Luke did not ruin his plans by taking over. To have Luke also carve, someone has to call him up to the beam and offer him the knife. Luke would not do so. He wanted tonight’s spotlight to be on Mary and only her.
When Mary stood next to Dirt and the torches he asked her “Who would be your torchbearer?”
Even with Mary’s answer already being known this was a vital part of tonight’s ritual. The carver of the beam was free to choose anyone and any reason was the right one. Most people choose as their torchbearer the member of the crew they were closest to. This was a way to make one last special memory with each other. Some members chose someone they wished they had gotten to know better. Others chose someone they knew needed a boost. They wanted their last act as a crew member to be uplifting to one of their brothers/sisters-in-arms.
The reason why Luke was the obvious choice was that he fit the three main reasons behind picking a torchbearer. Mary wanted to make yet another memory to share with Luke. She wished she had more time to get to know him better. To her eternity would not be enough time. Lastly she knew Luke needed a boost for his heartache. She was sharing that pain also.
Luke’s torch was to Mary’s carving as he was to her life, the North Star. Him being part of the brightest light in the night sky was helping her navigate what she had to do to reach her destination just like he did by supporting her dream of becoming a pilot.
The moment of him helping her was also her carving her name in the heart of the biggest support beam in her life, Luke. Tonight was important for Mary was making a marker that she was part of something bigger than herself. Years from now members of the Cove Crew would look at the pillars and know she made what they were a part of what it is today. Luke would always remember that he helped her claim the impact she made on those around her and those who will come after her.
When Mary was done engraving her name on the pillar Luke had to start turning away from the pillar and towards the beach. He was on auto-pilot and knew the next part of tonight’s proceedings was the procession to the lighting. If he hesitated to wait for Dirt to say what to do, Luke might have started crying. The end of what should never end was almost upon him.
Dirt said wait. Luke did not care why Dirt was holding up the natural progression of the night. Those words were a temporary reprieve from life after Mary. Those words let Luke have a little more time being at his girlfriend’s side and anytime at Mary’s side was worth remembering.
After everyone else paused from them moving on to the next part of tonight’s festivities, Dirt cleared his voice. He also had to hold himself together, right now he was about to state to everyone about losing the person dear to him. Luke brought him into the fold. Dirt would not be surrounded by so many good friends had Luke not reached out to him. Dirt wanted more time with Luke but knew he already had more than enough time. Any more time would just be them delaying what should be, everyone moving on to the next chapter of their lives.
“There is another torch so we are not done with carving the pillars. Another member of our crew will be leaving us after tonight. Their time here is done. We cannot let them leave us without them marking being a part of us on this Support Beam.
“Luke was only supposed to be here for a summer. Until he was ready to go back home. That summer became three years because he was not ready yet. He found a connection with us which needed to be fostered. He found Mary and needed as much time with her in his life as he could have. Now the connections between Luke and all of us are as strong as they can be and his time with Mary is over so it is time for him to go back home.
“Luke, who do you pick to be your torchbearer?”
Mary was the answer to this question. The answer was a forgone conclusion just like when the master of the ceremony asked it the first time of Mary. The reasoning behind the answer was also the same.
As Mary was going to get the second torch, Dirt hugged Luke as he took the torch from him. He whispered in Luke’s ear, “There was no way I could let you go without us honoring you. You know that. My brother, I love you.”
Those words were affirmation to Luke that Dirt did the right thing. There was no way a member with good standing in the crew was going to leave them without carving their name on a Support Beam. There was no better time for Luke to make his mark as when Mary did hers. There would be no better placement for Luke’s carving than right next to Mary’s. That placement would reflect where both of them were when they were in the Cove Crew. This was a way for them to stay symbolically together even after going their separate ways.
Just like in their relationship and Luke did earlier, Mary was his North Star as he carved his name next to hers. When he finished the rest of the crew gave Mary and Luke a little extra space as they led them to the fire pit. This time was personal and intense for both of them and the crew wanted to let them have this moment alone.
Luke started answering Mary’s question of why he did not tell her even before she could get it out of mouth. “Mary, I am going back to Pittsburgh because it is my childhood home. My time here is over. There is nothing to keep me here. We are both moving on from this time in our life and I needed to be somewhere else.
“I also need to finish what I came out here for, to be able to go back with my parents when it is time for me. It is. I reconnected with my closest friends, Lori and I have become brother and sister and my Mom finally understands what she did.
“Being at your side is home, but I cannot have that so I need to be at the second best place.”
Mary said “I understand.”
Luke’s other half did understand his going back to Pittsburgh was for the best. He was not running away from the memories of her, but taking them with him as he carried on living his life. She was happy that he was returning back to his childhood home. This meant he was not putting his life on hold by holding out on hope that Mary would come back to him instead of staying on the course of making her dreams come true.
They both used their torches to light the bonfire. That fire sparkled a new now. They both relayed that the shared chapter of their life was over. They both were determined to make the best of the little time they had left. Even with them not being together they both knew they would always be in each other's heart.
Mary and Luke made sure to say a quick goodbye to those dear to them. It was tempting to have an Irish goodbye to gain a couple more minutes of being together. Those two decided not to, it was more important to them to give a proper leaving salutation. They might have wanted as many memories with each other as they could make, but knew they also needed to have one more with Shy, Greg K., and Dirt. Then after sharing hugs and tears those two went to Luke’s Aunt Bridgette’s guest house to bask in the now together one last time.
****************
Luke was finally able to get his old bedroom his way again. The only changes to his old bedroom were two pieces of wall art. The painting of the Cove Lori made for him and his surfboard. The picture showed his sister’s potential as a person. It reminded him that how people grow and change was by who stood by them and was their support. Lori started on her road to become a better person by being around the Cove Crew.
His surfboard could not perform its intended function in Pittsburgh. None of the city’s three rivers was known for waves. Instead of it becoming a useless piece of junk Luke gave his surfboard a new function by attaching it to the wall. It went from being a recreational water vehicle to becoming a momento, a souvenir from his longest vacation. He would be able to surf the waves of memories by looking at his board.
On Luke's first weekend back in Pittsburgh there was no welcome home party. They scheduled it for the next weekend because Renee was away at a BMX race. Alice wanted this time to be used for Luke and Lori to spend time together. Lori needed to connect with her brother and Luke wanted to be there for his heartbroken sister. Alice suggested that Luke and Lori spent the day together at the wave pool. The suggestion was not a real suggestion, it was Alice’s way of telling her kids to spend the day together.
Lori hated having to spend time with Luke. She felt nothing but shame. How could her brother forgive her for all of the things she had done to him. She knocked him down numerous times yet that was all forgiven by her standing up for him once. That was not fair, Luke had the right to be the only child and shine in that spotlight.
After they arrived at the wave pool, Luke rented two rafts as his sister changed. Luke had to hold in his laughter seeing that blue and white striped bikini on his sister. That was so childish, but in a way Luke felt like he deserved it. He wanted to hurt Lori with his words and she was going to want to return the favor. He waved her over with a big smile on his face. Lori rolled her eyes. That act of kindness, being happy just seeing her, killed Lori a little inside. How could someone she had detested so much want to be around her.
Lori was close to Luke when she rolled her eyes again. He knew her show of discontent was not aimed at him. He looked at Lori's line of sight and saw Blake there. That was one of those no-good bastards who cheated on Lori. As she walked by Blake said to his new girlfriend “There is the bitch I used to go out with.”
Hearing those words made Luke go into big brother mode. This was the moment when Lori was going to need Luke and he was not going to let his little sister down. He walked up to Blake and as he was firmly tapping on Lori’s ex’s shoulder said “Don’t talk about Lori like that.”
Blake turned around to see what loser his ex was going out with. He saw Luke. Making eye to eye contact with a ghost from his past made Blake turn as white as the beach towel he was holding. Luke defending his sister took Blake back. Those two hated each other. All he could say was “I was pointing out another girl I went out with.”
“Who Black Eye Blake?”
Nina, Blake’s girlfriend, in a questioning manner said “Black Eye Blake?”
At that moment, Lori knew right then even with everything she did to Luke, her brother loved her. Him defending Lori made all of her self-doubt about her worth go away. She also found out that she loved her brother. Luke had a knack for bringing out the best in people by lifting them up. The girl who got her groove back was more than happy to inform this nameless girl why Luke called her man Black Eye Blake. The pride Lori had for her brother was heard for the first time when she said “That is what my bro calls him. See each time Blake tried to fight my brother your boyfriend ended up with a black eye.”
“Luka likes to wear dresses.”
The newly reignited fire in Lori’s soul from Luke’s support gave the former Brat Princess the strength and energy to go in for the kill and slay her personal drake, “Blake, Black Eye Blake, you are nothing but a little boy so concerned about proving you are a man to others. You should instead worry about becoming one instead. You are so scared of what others think of you. That is because you know they will not like the real you. A scared little boy who will hurt others to make himself feel better.
“Now his name is Luke, use it and don’t lie about my brother.”
The look Blake got from Luke told him that he got one free pass saying Luka. The boy who was put in his place still wanted to try to get under his nemesis' skin and asked “Doesn’t your sister look great in that bikini.”
Luke did get a tear of joy hearing his sister call him bro. He was looking forward to being able to call Lori sis for the first time. Blake did not know that the past could not hurt Luke anymore. The man standing next to the boy was not concerned about what someone like Blake thought of him. Luke responded to Blake’s lame attempt to tear him down with a nonchalant. “Yes she does.”
Then he hit Blake with a cold hard truth, “You messed up cheating on her. She was the best thing you had in your life.”
Finally to get Lori away from the pain of being around her past the older brother said “Come on sis, let’s go put our towels down and hit the pool.”
Blake’s words brought shame to Lori. She remembered that she had a blue and white striped bikini. She wanted to change out of that unintentionally mocking outfit. Plus, she did not feel like sunbathing or swimming. Hearing her big bro calling her sis and looking out for her made Lori want to connect with Luke. “How about we leave the wave pool and just hang out at the Bike Park. It will be nice to just sit and chat.”
Those two went to the bike park and just sat and talked. Luke would have loved to spend the day in the water. The imitation waves would have been a reminder of the rides in the ocean. The smell of coconut would have reminded him of just laying on the beach resting around other sunbathers. The beach boy loved the idea of talking with his sis even more than being reminded of the past.
All the kids running around, skating on their boards or riding their bike was just a nice background to Luke and Lori. Those two only lightly talked about the past. The past was over and they both wanted to look forward towards the future. By the end of day Alice got what she always wanted. She could not force it or have it exactly how she wanted it, but now Luke had a little sister and Lori had a big brother.
***************
Almost a year had passed by since Luke and Lori truly became brother and sister. The only part of their senior year which was left was a formality. They had finished taking all their finals. The only part of their high school experience which was left was graduation. With the month of May being so busy with prom also, Luke assumed that there would only be a very low key birthday celebration. Just a cake and nothing else. His family had been eating out so much in the last month that going to a restaurant would not be a special occasion. The assumption was wrong.
Lori loved parties. Before, she loved putting herself in the spotlight, now the ex-princess loved putting someone else in it. She loved her brother and he deserved to have the brightest spotlight on him, for their birthday for once. She had many memories of being in the spotlight and pushing him to the background. On their 18th birthday Luke deserved a party fitting for how great of a brother he was to her. She was going to throw Luke a surprise birthday party.
If Lori had a notion for something to happen, it was going to happen. Luke’s sister might have not been the Brat Princess anymore, that did not mean she lost the ability to get her way. The reason for her being able to get what she wanted was how strong willed she was. The manner which Lori got what she wanted changed. Instead of using lies and deceit, she now used determination and her know-how.
Back at the end of April, Lori approached her mom and dad with her surprise birthday party plan. Her parents were on board right away. They loved the idea. As soon as they heard their daughter suggested that Luke should have his own party they knew Lori would throw one. If they did not help out, she would have just used her own money to fund the party.
Lori started to tell them her plans for the party and Fred interrupted her. He stated that he was in charge of the cake. He was adamant about having that responsibility. To his wife and daughter, Fred taking the initiative to be in the party preparation was out of character. Fred’s philosophy of having a great party was in who the guests were, not in the details.
Being concerned about the party was actually in character for Fred. Six years ago he gave his word to a lonely little boy celebrating his birthday on his own. Fred promised his son that at the next birthday party all of his friends and family would be surrounding him as he blew out the candles on his Rodo-Mon cake. Now Fred could keep his word.
Getting Luke out of the house to set up for the party was easy. Aunt Bridget and Uncle Maurice were flying in on his birthday. They were keeping their word of attending his graduation. Coming in a week early also let them be there to celebrate Luke and Lori’s birthday also. Alice suggested that Luke went with his girlfriend, Tracy, to get her sister and brother-in-law. The idea did not raise suspicion from Luke. This would give him time alone with those two. Plus, he wanted them to meet Tracy.
Luke and Tracy started going out at the beginning of the school year. Tracy had been smitten with him ever since she thought that getting the cooties would not be that bad if they came from Luke. Luke also had a crush on Tracy back then. The crush soon came back to Luke when Tracy started to act like herself around him.
Lori was running around the backyard making sure everyone and everything was ready for the arrival of the guest of honor. Once Luke’s sister was satisfied with the yard she walked up to the patio. The cake was on the patio. The placement of the cake there was important to Lori. She still saw the patio as a special place. Her brother should be above people as they honor him. This was not because he was better than them. Lori knew that no one was better than anyone else. Being elevated, made sure that for that moment, all eyes were on him. Lori wanted to make sure that the spotlight on Luke was as bright as she could make it.
Lori saw the cake and she started to panic. The full sheet cake was decorated on the right side with Rodo-Mon and on the left with Chisaimon. The cake was for both of them. This was wrong. Lori wanted today to be all about Luke. Lori had enough days which were all about her, she needed her brother to have the same. The loving sister gave many warnings to everyone in attendance to not even wish her a happy birthday during the party. This was so everyone knew today was going to be all about Luke.
Fred saw Lori becoming flustered. In a confident voice, Lori’s dad said, “Trust me. This is the cake Luke wants. I promised him this cake many years ago.” How assured of himself Lori’s dad was, worked in bringing her at peace. Him bringing up keeping his word from the distant past helped also. Lori might have been legally an adult today, but she was still young enough to know how important promises were to a small child. Fred said one day Luke would have this cake and having this cake would mean the world to her brother.
He knew the cake was the right choice. He told Luke about getting a vanilla cake for his birthday. Fred wanted to make sure he got the right flavor. It has been 5 years since he got Luke a cake. Luke said that the cake batter should be half vanilla and half chocolate. Afterall, it was Lori’s birthday also. Luke looking out for his sister gave Fred an idea. The cake decoration would be half for Lori and half for Luke also.
Lori had no time to check anything else. The back gate started to open. The guest of honor had arrived. Going to his house in this unconventional manner did alert Luke. His uncle was big into gardening and was talking about wanting to see what Fred and Alice were doing with their backyard. Once everyone made eye contact with Luke they screamed “Happy Birthday.”
Then something came over him, he felt the joy which was usually only reserved for children to feel. For a moment Luke reverted back to being a seven year old kid. He was not a scared one this time. He was brave. He got to feel the freedom every child should have of just being themselves. He felt unabashed and did not care that people saw the tears and ran towards his parents saying “I love you mommy and daddy!” He had a little skip in his step as going up the stairs to join his parents.He gave them a huge hug.
Everyone at the party was laughing with joy at seeing Luke’s reaction. It is not that often you see an 18 year old man running while saying mommy and daddy. The best part to the partygoers was that Luke was proud of showing how happy he was. It made them feel good that they were able to share his special moment.
Lori was affected the most at witnessing Luke’s happiness. Seeing her brother run to be with their parents brought tears of joy to her eyes. This moment was beautiful to her. She never thought that seeing her brother in the spotlight would make her feel so good. Yet, there she was with the warmest feeling she ever had in her heart.
They sang “Happy Birthday” to Luke and he blew out the number 18 candles. Fred hugged his son and in Luke’s ear said “It might be late, but I told you this would happen. Happy Birthday son.” After the father-son embrace, Alice handed Luke a knife. As he took the knife from his mom, Luke whispered “Keep the candles handy.” He cut the first piece. The first piece of cake should have gone to the guest of honor. Instead Luke gave it to his mom.
Alice was taken back. She thought that was the sweetest thing Luke could ever do for her. That was a corner piece, her son remembered how much she loved the corner piece. She had not had cake with her son in over 10 years and he remembered. Luke was so happy seeing his mom knew he remembered, he knew it was a small gesture but he so wanted to show with actions how much he loved his mom.
Luke kept on cutting the cake down the line until he got to Lori’s half. He looked at his mom and she knew what Luke wanted, the candles. Alice was taken again once again. Luke sharing the day with his sister was now the sweetest thing Luke could ever do for his mom. As he was putting them back on the cake he called his sister up to the patio. Now it was twice in a couple of minutes Lori got the warmest feeling she ever had in her heart. She ran up there as quickly as Luke did.
Luke and Lori hugged. Right then the Zahn family was whole. They waited a moment before continuing the party. It was more important for them to soak in how they felt. The elder brother led people singing their second singing of “Happy Birthday.” After blowing out the candles Lori invited all the party goers up to the patio. She knew this moment’s spotlight was big enough for everyone.
Epilogue
Luke was now 30 years old and living the good life, but he did not have a good life. He had a nice high paying job as regional IT director for Fox Racing, a nice home, and an even nicer car. Every year he took a vacation back to Cali to see his aunt and uncle, Shy, Greg K. and the rest of the Cove Crew who were still living there. He traveled a lot for work. He could afford to buy anything his heart desired but something was missing. He had joy but no contentment.
During those 13 years Luke only saw Mary once. Both of them made an unconscious pact not to visit California at the same time. They both would not put themselves or the other through the heartache of not saying goodbye once again. The only time they were in each other's presence was for Shy and Greg K.’s wedding. They both knew the unspoken agreement would have to be broken for that event. Neither of them could turn down the honor of being part of the wedding party, nor the bigger honor of being present at the ceremony.
The time together at the wedding was like a dream for Mary and Luke. Being physically together once again felt more like a fantasy than reality. Their time together did not lead to either of them dreaming about reuniting as a couple.. Since they both knew that after the weekend they would go back to being in the ordinary world living their own separate lives. The bigger reason why this was not a reconnection was that neither had left the other’s heart. There is no way to reconnect to someone who is always with you.
At the end of the wedding again there was no goodbye. Giving farewells would have meant accepting that what Mary and Luke had was over. Not wanting reality to ruin this weekend they would cherish, the two lovers shared a silence. Neither could be weak enough to ask the other to come with them nor strong enough to offer what they knew the other would not accept. They hugged, sharing the joy of once again being as one and the pain of knowing they will only share the sky.
Then one day Luke was at the Pittsburgh International Airport returning from a business trip. Before going to claim his luggage he was window shopping at the Sarris Candies store. He was going to buy a treat for his sister and her son. His nephew, Little Timmy, had not been feeling well and tomorrow was yet another of those endless doctor’s appointments at Children’s Hospital. Those diligent doctors were trying to finally get a diagnosis. Lori was worried because they could not find anything wrong and Timmy was scared. The little fighter kept a stiff upper lip but having those needles draw blood weekly was taking a toll.
As he was going into the store Luke felt Mary’s physical presence. This brought a feeling from Luke’s past to visit him. He felt joy and content. There was a good reason for Luke feeling Mary’s physical presence. She was walking down the concourse. From the corner of his eye Luke caught a momentary and obstructed glimpse. That peep gave enough information to his unconscious brain to know that was her. There was no way he could forget her stride.
The closer Mary got to Luke the stronger the urge to turn towards her direction became. Luke fought it off at first. There was no reason why to turn and look. He kept up the denying until it became inevitable. He did not know why but if he did not follow that desire to look down the concourse he would regret it. Giving in to a harmless look was worth not having to relive this moment and wonder what he missed by not seeing
Turning around turned the feeling of being in Mary’s physical presence into a reality. He saw the lady who lived in his heart and the smile grew. Mary at first only saw a smile as welcoming as an embrace from your true love. Seeing the smile was from her true love made the embrace stronger. Without excusing herself from the rest of the flight crew Mary ran towards Luke. Her true love simultaneously started his sprint towards Mary.
The emotional embrace became a physical one. Right then both of them knew that they could not share that silence of not saying goodbye once again. They were going to be together in each other’s heart and also in each other’s life. It might be true that the sun always shines on TV, but they are going to make it so it always shines on their life together.
Comments
Wonderfull!
There were many times I could not have imagined this ending. But you pulled it off. A heartfelt, thoughtful, loving ending. My words can not do it justice. A steller piece!
"Life is not measured by the breaths you take, but by the moments that take your breath away.”
George Carlin
Very good
Though I really do not believe that an adult can become a good person if it’s a spoiled brat. Alice should have remained as al the beginning of the story.
I Believe
If a good person can become bad, then a bad person can become good. Maybe not often, but it does happen.
They know they can survive
A vastly better ending than
A vastly better ending than the death spiraling ending of the original. It may have been a long road to get here, and a lot of pain to boot, but we have seen multiple redemptions (Lori, Alice, along with to lesser extents Amanda/Renee/Matt/Tracy).
To all those who left part way, especially early on, it is my sincerest wish that they do at some point return and make it through to seeing that this story has one of the happiest endings of all. That the pain they saw was not for naught, was not in vain. I know this will, in all likelihood, not happen. But I do hope that maybe, just maybe, someone will give it a second chance.