SNAFU part 41

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Story Copyright© 2010 & 2021 Angharad

SNAFU Part 41

by Angharad
  

This is a work of fiction any resemblance to anyone alive or dead is unintentional.

*****

In the taxi, I tried to reflect on what had happened so far that day. The presence of Oliver meant that whoever his controllers were, they had access to someone in the US hierarchy. So it very much looked as if the people who were trying to get me were also the ones after the president. In some ways that made things feel just a tad simpler, if not easier. Why, I wondered had they attacked me before all of this. I mean, if Superman had been expected, I could understand them stocking up on Kryptonite, but me?

I did have friends in high or low places, depending upon where you placed the ‘Otherworld’, and my connection with Sekhmet had proved life saving a few times. I felt the gun against my leg, I wasn’t sure if I felt more or less safe with it.

According to the ‘plan’, the president would be assassinated the following night by a mad pilot, suicide bomber, crashing into the embassy. Of course we all knew, the bomb was actually in the vicinity of the room she would be occupying, already. I also knew, the assassins were Americans using the Muslim extremists as the scape-goats. I shuddered to think what would happen if the plot was successful, partly because it would mean I was likely to be dead myself, but also on a more global scale there would be massive fall out. I could see cruise missiles or bombers on their way to some Middle Eastern country and lots of bloodshed as the US took its supposed revenge. Whereas in fact, it would be probably closer to the truth to bomb Dallas or Boston, or wherever these monsters originated or now dwelt.

Suddenly, I was in Grosvenor Square. I paid the taxi and walked up to the security guard at the gate. I had called at the office and collected a pass. I showed it to the guard, he pointed to a man stood just inside the door. I thanked him and followed his instructions. I entered the door and passed the armed marine inside, we nodded at each other, but I could see the safety catch on his M16 gun, was in the off position. I hoped he didn’t drop it.

There were queues of folks trying to get visas and other everyday stuff, and I walked past them to the man indicated by the original guard. I showed him the pass. “Ah Captain Curtis, we have been expecting you. The president requested you personally. I guess you must have met someplace, ‘cause it’s quite an honour.” I acknowledged this fact, without saying I’d rather it hadn’t happened. I began to understand another reluctant participant in a big game who had second thoughts in a certain garden, called Gethsemane. I however, stopped the parallel there, I was certainly no sacrificial god-king.

Colonel Scott, the man to whom I was speaking, or who was actually speaking to me, continued, “Have your office actually instructed you on what they mean by liaison, ‘cause to me, it don’t mean a darned thing.”

“I think, it’s about making sure that we interact in unison with what you’re doing, so we don’t duplicate or end up shooting each other.” I had no idea what liaison meant in this sort of mission. To start with all this sort of stuff would have protocols to be followed which would be the domain of some desk jockey on both sides. I wouldn’t be much use because I didn’t know anyone on either side, so I could hardly be an introduction service.

“That’s all taken care of, come with me.” He led me down a corridor to a suite of rooms where there was every surveillance gadget known to mankind. “I also know you’re carrying a weapon, in a very interestin’ place, Miss Curtis.”

I blushed and declined to see the footage on tape of where my gun showed itself to the machine. “I hope you know how to use it,” he said, and I wasn’t sure if he was being sarcastic.

“I’m pretty sure which bit is called the trigger, and I suspect I will be able to work out which end the bullets come out of,” I said, playing the blonde bimbo.

“Sure glad to know that. I think it may be best if we team you up with one of our women operatives.” What Col. Scott didn’t say was, “To keep you out from under the big boys feet. The only reason you’re here at all is because the president asked for you. So we’ve indulged her, you’re here. However, we’re going to put you on knitting patrol, or some other such distraction to which women are supposed to be suited.”

An attractive woman walked into the room, “Ah Cassie, this is Captain Curtis from the British secret service, I wondered if she could shadow you?”

“Why of course sir,” she walked to me and we shook hands. “Hi, I’m Cassie Mulholland, President’s liaison service.

“Jamie Curtis, SIS, how do you do?” Her hand was cold and soft. I didn’t sense any untoward energy.

“Come with me, let’s get out of this bedlam. Fancy a coffee?” she led me down a series of corridors.

“I prefer tea, if you have it,” I replied to her question. Inside, however, all I wanted to do was sit down for a bit, my shoes were killing me.

Ten minutes later, we were sat in her office sipping Earl Grey and talking like old friends. “You’re like in SIS?” she asked me, almost rhetorically.

“Yes,” I answered, wondering what was coming next.

“So that’s like MI5 and 6?” she asked, raising an eyebrow, “You don’t look like a spook to me?” Given my previous reputation at the hospital, I had to stifle a laugh.

“Sorry to disappoint,” I said lamely.

“I mean, they’re all licensed to kill and all that stuff. You’re not, are you?”

“Why? Aren’t you armed and dangerous?” I threw back at her.

“I don’t need a gun to be dangerous darlin’, I can stop them with a look.” We both laughed at her sense of humour, which was a suitable riposte to mine. “Yeah, we carry guns, but I’ve never shot anyone. Have you?”

Deciding that honesty was not necessarily the best policy, I was economical with the actuality, “Do I look like a hired gun?” A quick flash of the Magnificent Seven, went through my mind.

“Hardly. So what you wanna do?” She asked, pouring me another cup of tea.

“We have a choice?” I said, surprised by her answer.

“Sure do.”

“I’ve never been in an embassy before, so could you show me round.” I thought it was the easiest and quickest way to see the area I believed was at risk.

“Don’t see why not,” she replied smiling.

“Can we see the presidential suite, I’m sure it’s something special.” I pleaded, pretending I was interested in the furnishings.

“That’s usually off limits.” She said, looking very serious.

“Oh,” I said looking very disappointed.

“Let me see,” she looked through some sort of rota, “Hal Butcher is on after lunch, he owes me one. I’ll see what I can do to accommodate your request,” she said pretending to be officious. Then she smiled and we both fell about laughing.

“So how long have you been in this business?” I asked Cassie. She was about thirtyish, I’d guess.

“About five years, I went back to college and got my doctorate and then joined the company.”

“What, the CIA?” I asked in genuine surprise, though why, I didn’t quite know.

“Who else?” she said, looking at me as if I was some sort of retarded schoolgirl.

“Sorry, but I’m pretty new to all this cloak and dagger stuff.” I said, using the same sort of approach which had worked before. One day, I’d be too old to use it, but until then…

“So how come the president knows you?” she threw back at me.

“That’s a long story,” I said hoping she’d get the hint that I didn’t want to talk about it.

Sadly she didn’t because a moment later she said, “We have plenty of time before lunch, so why don’t you just spill those beans for your aunt Cassie.”

“Okay, edited highlights. I’m a nurse.” I started on my saga, leaving out the seeing dead people, and my connection with Sekhmet etc. “And I get these hunches, which are usually right. It helped with one or two things and the PM got to hear of it, I was invited to attend a dinner and your president was there.”

“You’ve kinda brushed over one or two things according to my computer, like a couple of rather nice awards for bravery. A George Medal? That ain’t to be sniffed at, neither is a Distinguished Conduct Medal. I presume they don’t give them out for being the tidiest nurse on the block?”

“In my case they did.” I blushed as I still felt unworthy of both of them.

“According to this, your CV is one long catalogue of derring-do. Not bad for a greenhorn nurse.” She looked me up and down.

“How do you know all this?” I asked, blushing some of which was embarrassment and some indignation.

“Shall we say it’s our business to know about our friends as well as our enemies. It says here, you’re, “Extremely psychic and capable of significant psychokinetic energy.” She paused for a moment before saying, “What’s that mean?”

“Probably that I’m a total nutcase.” I blushed again.

“You saved the president’s life at Chequers. Wow, this is some CV.”

“Both of us were set up by your NSA people, and I use the latter term advisedly.” She grinned at me, but I was angry with them. At her badgering I told her briefly what had happened.

“Now, why are you really here?” she asked looking me straight in the eye.

“I was invited.” I replied, trying to evade her question.

“Shit, you were.” She stroked her chin with a long index finger. “Now tell me the truth, it won’t go outside these walls.”

“I’m afraid I can’t.” I said feeling very pressured.

“Can’t or won’t?” she said back to me.

“Can’t. I can’t explain a feeling I have.” I was lying but it was near enough the truth.

“About what?” she asked, her gaze almost burning through me, all pretence and giggling schoolgirl humour was gone.

“I believe someone will try and kill the president,” I said.

“So they sent you here to stop it. A one woman task force.” She shook her head as she spoke.

“Not quite, because they don’t know about it, you’re the first one I’ve told.” I was lying and I hated doing it, but I really didn’t know who I could trust and who was a threat.

“So you’re here by coincidence?” she asked and I nodded. “That is sure one big coincidence.”

“Well according to Jung, his theory of synchronicity…” I began, but she cut me off.

“Look honey, I majored in psychology, I have Jung and Freud coming outta ma ears. So don’t you BS me with psychobabble. Why are you here?”

“Alright, I’ll tell you,” I said and she leant forward to hear every word. “Her Majesty is fed up with Phil and thinks if she kills off Susan, she can have Billy boy all to herself.”

Cassie sat back and nodded her head, pretending she was considering my fantasy as a possible line of enquiry. Then she looked me in the eye and said, “I didn’t figure you for a timewaster Jamie, so cut the crap. Tell me what you really think.”

“If I told you the president was to be killed here, you wouldn’t believe me, unless you were in on the plot.”

“You are one crazy Brit. This is the safest place in the world outside the Whitehouse.”

“I don’t believe you,” I replied.

“Look, Missy, I haven’t got time for the whys and wherefores, but you take my word for it, it is very safe.”

“What if you were plotting to kill the president?”

“Don’t be stupid honey-bunch, I’m here to prevent that happening, along with two hundred other folk.”

“Okay, I’ll just go back to my office and file a report which they can use in the enquiry which will follow the assassination. It’s a great pity because I quite like your president.”

“Now hold your horses there, who says you’re going anywhere?”

“I did.”

“Not until you tell me more about your hunch, and I tell my boss, unless you’d like to tell him yourself.”

“It’s a classic conspiracy, I don’t know who I can trust and who is the enemy. I feel I can trust you, but I’m not sure about anyone else. So I refuse to tell anyone else.”

“Look, Missy, we’ve been under surveillance ever since we got here, they only need to run the tapes and it will all be on there.” She smirked a little as she told me this.

“I know, but they’ll be greatly disappointed.” I said smiling broadly.

“What do you mean?” she demanded.

“They’ll have footage of you talking to yourself, I won’t appear on the tapes nor will my voice.”

“Don’t be silly, hon, of course you’ll be on there.”

“Like your computer?”

“Well, yes.”

“Look again,” I said.

“Oh my God, what have you done to my computer?” She shrieked at me, “What is this stuff?”

“Fawlty Towers,” I said, “It’s very funny.” Now it was my turn to be smug.

“How did you do that?” she said, frantically trying to call up my dossier.

“Who said I did it?” I smirked.

“Well I sure didn’t, and there’s no one else here.”

“What about the little cat behind you?”

She turned around and was eyeball to eyeball with a full size lioness, It purred and licked her face, at which point she fainted and fell back in her chair. “Oops,” I said.

At this point, I erased the whole tape and all any current surveillance would see was an empty room. I then dealt with my ‘sleeping’ friend. She gradually came around, and looked at me very strangely. After collecting her wits, she said, “That was real clever, you really had me fooled.” Then she began laughing, until the loud purring from behind her suddenly made her turn very pale and she went silent. “Turn it off,” she said loudly, “Stop it, whatever it is. Stop it,” then she quietly added, “please.”

“You are quite safe.” I said reassuringly, “She’s one of my little helpers, and very friendly. She would be mortified to think you didn’t like her.” I smiled at the wide eyed look I got back.

After a short hesitation, when she appeared she was going to speak but didn’t, she managed to say, “I’m not dreaming am I?”

“Not as far as I know,” I replied.

“In which case, how is there a freakin’ lion in my office?”

“I brought her.” I said, smiling at her quite smugly.

“How the holy shit, did you get her past the security system?”

“The same way as I got all the others in.”

“What? Just how many are there?” She slumped back in the chair.

“Six or seven, more if I need them.”

“Six or seven freakin lions…”

“Lionesses,” I corrected her.

“Lions, lionesses, what’s it freakin’ matter?”

“It matters to them, and to another one; besides, lions are nowhere near as biddable or courageous.”

“Okay, so you’re Joy freakin’ Adamson, and Elsa behind me is real nice. How come security ain’t seen ‘em, let alone neutralised them?”

“They’re invisible until I tell them otherwise.” I told her.

“Right, so I just got licked by an invisible freakin’ lion.”

“No, I told her to let you see her.”

“I’m losing my freakin’ marbles here. Just who the fuck are you?”

“You are quite sane, things are strange and shall we say, I was sent by the universe to prevent this mischief which could have catastrophic implications, were it to happen.”

“You’re like some heavenly agent? An angel?” She looked more bewildered and frightened than ever. “Do you know, like Jesus, personally?” She seemed to be reverting to an almost little girl mode.

“No, not personally, I come from a time long before his.” I tried to smile reassuringly.

“Why have you involved me?” she asked looking very fearful, “I’m a good Christian girl.”

“Your beliefs are irrelevant to me,” I told her, “What you feel or believe is your affair, none are better or worse than any other in theory, it’s their practical application which causes the problems.”

“I guess so.” This was said in a little girl voice. The purring from behind her seat continued. “Can I look at her?”

“Of course you can, you can touch her if you like.”

She slowly swivelled her chair around and looked fearfully at the lioness. Then she hesitatingly reached out, drew back her hand quickly, paused and then touched the head of the lioness. In return, the lioness rubbed her head against Cassie’s hand, like a large domestic cat. Then she flopped down on the floor, and presented her tummy for a rub. Cassie squealed at first, then began to laugh. The lioness wriggled about on its back, and Cassie, probably thinking she was completely mad leaned over from her chair and rubbed the tummy of the big cat, who purred even louder.

“This is insane,” she repeated to herself, several times.

“Maybe,” I allowed, “but it’s nice, all the same.”

“Wait till I tell my kids about this…”

“I’m sorry, but that won’t be possible,” I explained to her.

“Why not, I think it’s kinda cute?”

“I’m glad you’ve taken to Sheba so well, and she is certainly enjoying it, but you’ll forget this ever happened when we leave this office.”

“How can you be…?” she began.

“Trust me, I know about these things.”

“So are you from another planet, some sort of ET?”

“No, well yes, I’m from Planet Oxford, it’s a little world all of its own built mainly of ivory towers, inhabited by creatures whose brains are so big they are carried around in brief cases.”

She laughed at my spoof. “Are you gonna tell me who you really are?”

“Jamie Curtis.”

“No you’re not.”

“That is my name, this is the body into which I was born twenty years ago.”

“You’re twenty and a captain in the secret service, man, you are special?”

“I thought we’d established that fact. I think you’ve seen enough of my tricks, so how about we go and find your little friend and allow me to see the Presidential suite?”

“You could earn a fortune, doing this stuff?”

“I am here to try and save the world as we know it, making money is not one of my priorities. If others perhaps felt the same, this might be a better place in which to live.”

“I guess so,” she said looking a little shamefaced.

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Comments

Good job

Maddy Bell's picture

it wasn't me - as you know Ang, cats are quite ambivilent to me, not sure if its something i said but they tend to cross the road to avoid me!

I know i've read it before but i'm still enjoying doing so again, thanks for posting Ang.


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Madeline Anafrid Bell

Cats

Don't take it personally if cats avoid you, but most cats are very cautious critters. There are exceptions, of course, but if you can pet one cat out of 100 then you're lucky.

“How do you know all this?”

Asking the CIA that is like asking the Pope if he knows the 10 commandments. :-)

Thx for a nice chapter^^

One of the nicer aspects of a nonagenarian steel-sieve memory

Sara Selvig's picture

...is that I can enjoy such fine tales over and over again. I'm almost sure that the "tummy rub" sequence is new. But, then, again... :)

If you refresh SNAFU again in another 10 or 20 years, I hope I'll (somehow, someway) be here to enjoy it again. OTOH, by then, I'll probably have to have someone else read it to me, :(

Nicely done, dear!

Sara


Between the wrinkles, the orthopedic shoes, and nine decades of gravity, it is really hard to be alluring. My icon, you ask? It is the last picture I allowed to escape the camera ... back before most BC authors were born.

Nothing is really new

Angharad's picture

other than tidying up the prose a little and changing a few names, so the tummy rub is part of the original. I don't know if I could write this again, I don't think I have the imagination any more. My other stories are all basically the same with just the names of the characters changed, I'm a bit like Vivaldi, he was accused of not writing 40 concerti but one concerto, forty times. I've done it about 3.5 thousand times, so you're my ideal reader.

Angharad

This kinda chokes me up.

Sara Selvig's picture

It has been several decades since I was anyone's "ideal" anything. Lost him way too soon. :(

You touched another nerve... a distant memory that refreshes me daily. (OTOH, I was not up to housebreaking another husband.)

Thank you sincerely, dear.

Sara


Between the wrinkles, the orthopedic shoes, and nine decades of gravity, it is really hard to be alluring. My icon, you ask? It is the last picture I allowed to escape the camera ... back before most BC authors were born.

Come now…

Robertlouis's picture

I know you’re not humble bragging, it’s not you and it’s not your style. You’re a wonderfully entertaining writer, warm-hearted and generous to a fault, and your own character comes through in your prose.

And as a willing devotee of Vivaldi’s music, especially the choral works, I think that the accusation of him is every bit as unfair as the one you’ve directed against yourself. Big warm hugs to you, my dear. xxx

☠️

I think it was

Angharad's picture

Wagner, who cast the nasturtium, but then Tchaikovski said of Wagner, he has written some wonderful moments of music - followed by dreadful half hours. (Or words to that effect.)

Angharad

And it was Beachcomber

Robertlouis's picture

Of blessed memory, who said, Wagner is the Puccini of music.

Shall we leave it there? x

☠️

One last titbit

Angharad's picture

After listening to an opera by one of his contemporaries, Beethoven was heard to say to the composer, "I quite liked your effort, in fact I think I might set it to music." So he was an irascible grump, but still the world's greatest writer of symphonies.

Angharad

>[..]the world's greatest

>[..]the world's greatest writer of symphonies."

And piano sonatas. :-)

…and

Robertlouis's picture

Piano concertos?

☠️

Ludwig van

Robertlouis's picture

When I lived and worked in Frankfurt, I was fortunate to have a private viewing of the Beethovensgeburtshaus (Beethoven’s Birthplace) in Bonn, a humble, but sizeable dwelling in the heart of the Altstadt. Bonn is a typically beautiful small German city, by the way, utterly charming. My wife still has the scarf bearing the opening bars of the Eroica!

My guide was the wife of a colleague who was extremely knowledgeable and gave me a fuller tour than normal. When we’d finished, we adjourned to a nearby Stube where her husband joined us and she confessed to a lifelong preference for Mozart.

“So geht’s das Leben,” as the Germans say.

☠️

sounds like she's convinced

a lioness purring beside me would definitely make me a believer

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Nice Kitty

BarbieLee's picture

Has Jamie done any remote viewing through her cats? Five of them roaming the bld would be a great help. Too bad she doesn't let Cassie keep her memories of running into Jamie and her cats. I'll pass on keeping a lioness, she'd eat my cats and my goats. How does keep enough feed around for one of those pussy cats?
Why is it no one wants Jamie around doing her job? Why do they think her only job is fetch and carry? Fetch the coffee and carry the donuts. Wonder if more medals would make a difference?
Hugs Angharad

Oklahoma born and raised cowgirl

Big Cats and Lesser Cats

Robertlouis's picture

I discovered the other week while watching the estimable and entertaining source of all knowledge that is QI on BBC2, presented by the splendid Sandi Toskvig, whom I’ve been lucky enough to meet a couple of times, that what sets Big Cats like lions, tigers, leopards and Jaguars apart from Lesser Cats like cheetahs, ocelots, lynxes etc, is that Big Cats roar, but don’t purr, and Lesser Cats purr but don’t roar. My own Lesser Cat, a diminutive but incredibly sweet domestic black British shorthair called Maisie was purring fit to burst on my lap at the time, so that’s why it stuck in my mind.

Don’t change your story, Angharad, but if the divine Sandi says it, it must be so.

Or did I mishear? I’ll be happy to be corrected. And if Sekhmet materialises in my bedroom I’ll feel duly chastised. Ooh err…

Another great premonitory chapter. Let battle commence!

xxx

☠️

Animal Adventures

BarbieLee's picture

I know I have heard lions purr. The difference may be it's more of a contented gurgle than the purr one associates with domestic cats which comes from deep down inside although both require air movement. From watching too many nature movies I guess.
Maddy, I have somewhere north of thirty cats and all except a couple of them down't like for me to pick them up. Did you see the commercial where the cowboys are herding cats? I swear I could make that commercial as I usually have seven to fourteen of them spread out walking along with me when I'm outside. Toss in the goats who follow me everywhere and Lady the Great Pyrenees who demands I have my hand on her when we are walking, I love most all animals, birds, reptiles, and a few humans.
Hugs.Robertlouis
Barb
Life is meant to be lived, not worn until it's worn out.

Oklahoma born and raised cowgirl

Poetic licence,

Angharad's picture

dramatic licence or whatever, overheard Liverpudlian at lioness cage at zoo, "Did you hurr her purr?"

Angharad

But these are

Magical cats. They are created through the power of Sekmet. If the goddess wants them to purr, then they purr. They could also speak classic English if the goddess desired, walk up right, or have checkerboard fur.

My personal thought is that they can purr in order to reassure the good humans. Who doesn't find a cat purring a calming sound.

Damaged people are dangerous
They know they can survive

I cannot believe(underlined) (almost) a single word of this

but in spite of that I really love reading it!
I will not commit to wanting any particular story line, what comes next is up to you. But PLEASE keep on with nexts until you reach the ultimate conclusion

The storyline

Angharad's picture

was set in 2006 or thereabouts, so the moving keyboard writ or words to that effect. There are 11 chapters left and the action doesn't slow so Jamie Curtis 0032B makes Bond look like a wimp. I would remind everyone that it is fiction.

Angharad

Stretching The Truth

joannebarbarella's picture

Jamie is being a little devious when she says this is the body she was born into twenty years ago. Still, we won't quibble as long as she delivers the goods.

Ooops!

joannebarbarella's picture

Double click!