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SNAFU Part 37

by Angharad

This is a work of fiction any resemblance to anyone alive or dead is unintentional.

*****

In the final moments of consciousness, I resigned myself to my fate, probably to be asphyxiated by fumes. I had no worries about death, I was seemingly stuck on a treadmill of reincarnation, so death was a recurring experience.

However, I was sad that I hadn’t said goodbye to those who were dear to me, and that they would be sad. Would they ever find my body? Probably, the fire service would arrive too late and a murder enquiry would commence. By which time, there would be an investigation into the death of a president, too.

I had failed. Then things went dark and I felt myself falling down a long tunnel. Had I been conscious, I might have considered ironic, the fact that I was a servant of a fire goddess.

Had I been conscious, I might have been able to call up my goddess to help me escape. The only difficulty was, I was unconscious and lying in a barn which had caught fire before.
Unbeknownst to me, the barn which I believed was going to be my crematorium, was only twenty years old. It had been built to store hay and straw. Its predecessor had been consumed by fire and the insurance company, which had been plagued by barn fires, insisted that any rebuild incorporated anti fire devices, like a sprinkler system.

Since its reconstruction, the barn had not been used much for hay until recently when it was acquired by its present owner, a gentleman farmer, whose income came more from business interests than the land. His wife kept horses, and they needed hay. There had been no further fires and the sprinklers had not been tested for years.

However, when the smoke alarm/temperature alarm went off, the sprinklers spluttered and some of them began disgorging water onto the area below them. The problem was, they continued pouring into the barn after the flames were extinguished. With the doors partly closed, the water began to collect in the bottom.
I came to, feeling water dripping down my face, the bales of straw or hay on top of me were consequently heavier and breathing was even more difficult. The concrete floor under my face felt wet, and after a while I realised the water level was rising. I wasn’t going to burn or choke to death in toxic fumes, but drown.

I tried to move, but the bales were getting heavier. I felt as if I could be crushed by their weight. I imagined this was something like being stuck in an avalanche or landslide.

I tried to visualise the sun about my head, but I inhaled some water and began to cough. I thought I could hear some sort of engine. Was it my captors returning or a potential rescuer? I tried to project my mind outside, but another lot of water up my nose, meant I lost concentration again.

My head was pounding and swimming, almost literally. With a last effort I visualised a lioness outside the barn. I tried to see through its eyes, but the darkness was returning. I tried to keep my head up but it was so difficult.

I coughed again, my head pounding with each effort of my chest, but it roused me slightly. The pressure of the bales was now making my legs numb and breathing was nearly impossible, just rapid shallow ones. The water was now lapping against my lips. A little while longer and I would be dead.

Feeling alone and frightened, I called my lioness to come to me. It couldn’t help my predicament but at least I would have its company as I died. I tried to imagine it moving the bales which were pressing on me.

Then thinking I was going, I imagined the weight being lifted off my body. I knew it was just an illusion and I was dying, but it felt good. Things went black again.
I could not believe that I was lying on my back with two paramedics holding an oxygen mask over my face. I was dead, wasn’t I? If so, from my good eye, I could see a rather attractive looking man in green overalls looking at a machine and at me. If I was ‘fancying’ this guy, then surely I couldn’t be dead, could I?

My head was pounding like I had a full orchestra of percussion instruments practicing inside it. Things began to get distant, and I had a dreamy recollection of being loaded into a helicopter, I think it was a helicopter, and the sensation of flying.
When I awoke, apparently a day later, my parents and John were sat there. I had died and gone to heaven, this was now obvious. But if I had, how come they couldn’t stop this blessed headache.

I felt someone squeezing my hand. I tried to open my eyes and keep them open. “We must stop meeting like this.” Said a voice I knew and loved, “Do you know how much you have cost me in flowers since I first met you?”

I was about to say something smart in reply, but instead my chest heaved and I coughed, my mouth filling with some horrible fluid. My mother helped me up and held a plastic container for me to spit into. The fluid was green and slimy. I had a chest infection, and how.

My parents went for a little walk after seeing me awake. John clasped my hand and told me he thought he’d lost me. He was in tears and so was I.

“Do you know how close you were to dying? Seconds. You weren’t breathing when they found you and your heart had stopped. They thought you were dead, but decided to revive you just in case.

I had a vision of you engulfed in flames, and phoned Don. He told me you were late calling in but had gone to investigate some farms. I got him to scramble the police helicopter. They were looking for a fire or your car. Don tells me you have a mini.”
I went to reply, but he hushed me. “They couldn’t see either a fire or your car and there was no signal from your phone. I knew there had to have been a fire, the vision was so clear. Then I remembered, I told them to look for the lioness. They checked it out three times, but they saw one and they saw it enter the barn. When they followed it in, it was trying to dig away some bales of straw and as they approached so it disappeared. I suppose that was when your heart stopped.

Thankfully, they investigated where the lioness had been. They found you with your face in water. They got you out and began CPR. They kept you alive long enough for the air ambulance to arrive and they revived you. You’re a very lucky lady, Jamie Curtis, doubly so because I want you to marry me.”

Now I knew I was dead and hallucinating! I felt tears welling up in my eyes, and one of the hot drops of water ran down my cheek.

“What’s the matter, princess?” said John.

I couldn’t speak, I was so choked with emotion. I simply shook my head and more tears flowed. The headache, or the orchestra involved in it, were now on crescendo. The pain was blinding me. John was saying something, but I couldn’t hear him. I felt very hot. No, I was on fire, my whole body was ablaze or felt like it. There wasn’t enough air, I began to struggle to breathe. I felt myself flop back on the pillow and in the distance someone was shouting, but it wasn’t important, I wasn’t there anymore.
I could see my body. It was lying on the hospital bed. John was pacing back and fro just outside the cubicle. Inside a team of doctors and nurses were doing something to my body. I didn’t care, I wasn’t there, I was free.

I floated up through the hospital, the John Radcliff in Oxford. Looking down I could see people like ants scurrying about, the cars were like toy ones. I was glad to be away from it all. The earth was a beautiful place full of stupid people who seemed incapable of learning the most simple of lessons. Cooperation achieves far more than conflict, but then most of us are so up our own backsides, we can’t see it.
I began to leave the earth, sucked up a tunnel of light. Finally, after some time, although time seemed unimportant now, I found myself in a garden. I had been here before. I had mixed feelings about it, having been sent back last time. Surely they couldn’t do it twice, could they?

I thought it best to just sit about and not draw attention to myself, then it would be too late to send me back, or so I thought. However, I just sat my mind empty.

“Jamie, what the he…, what on earth are you doing here?” The voice belonged to my grandmother.

“Looks like I got a chest infection, while trying to save the earth, and it took a turn for the worse….”

“Don’t be ridiculous child, you can’t die yet.”

“Sorry, Gran, but it looks like I have.”

“We’ll see about that…” She said firmly and strode off not hearing my comment about leaving the dead in peace.

A short time later, my grandmother returned. “We have a choice for you.”

“Who’s we?” I asked.

“The Committee, Jamie. You know this, so don’t be obtuse.” Her sharp way of speaking to me was unexpected. She had never spoken to me like this before. “Your choice is to stay here or go back.”

“I think I’ll stay.” I said, feeling comfortable in the garden.

“It wouldn’t actually be here.”

“Why not?” I asked, puzzled.

“Because you wouldn’t be welcome.”

“Why not?” I could feel tears in my eyes. Was this possible? Probably not but it was happening. How could my favourite dead relative be so unpleasant to me, her favourite dead grandchild?

“First, because you surrendered your life without sufficient effort to protect it. Second, and this is by far the more important reason, your negligence will enable the forces of evil to carry out their wicked plan and ultimately many thousands, perhaps millions will die.”

“How can you accuse me of that, Gran? All I did was catch a chest infection. How can that kill millions?”

“The American president will die in two days. A war will erupt, weapons of mass murder will be used.”

“What, like nuclear?”

“The same.”

“How can you blame it all on me? It isn’t my fault….” I began to cry, this was so unfair.

“It is your fault, Jamie. We gave you skill which should have kept you safe enough to prevent it. Saving the world was your destiny. I told you, you had a special mission. That was it. Goodbye, Jamie. Please take her away.”

Two burly characters approached me and began to drag me away. I tried to resist but it was hopeless.

“Gran, what if I agree to go back to try and stop the assassination?” I called to her as I was pulled away.

“It’s too late now….”

“Please, Gran, let me try.” I begged as they continued to pull me. I gave a final effort and managed to get clear of my captors. As they pursued me, I imagined a net falling on them and it happened. I was astonished, but it gave me another idea.
I imagined my grandmother coming to me for the first time in the garden, and it happened

.
“What are you doing here?” she asked me again.

“I need your help, Gran. I need to beat this infection and be well enough to stop some evil men doing something dreadful.”

“We can’t intervene in your world.”

“Oh well, it will be on your conscience if I die and the events happen which I might have prevented, and a war occurs. It could involve many thousands of dead.”

“Nonsense. If I am already dead, how can it be my fault?”

“Because you and your committee have the power to heal me and I have the power to prevent this unnecessary catastrophe.”

“Your confidence borders on arrogance, young lady. I did not bring you up to behave in such a manner.”

“No gran, you brought me up to protect the innocent and to fight for what I believe in. I believe that while we stand here wasting time, a group of evil men are intent on murdering a president. If it happens, it will be a tragedy for many and the consequences could perhaps launch a major world war of biblical proportions. Every hothead with an axe to grind will use it as a call to arms, it will pit east against west, and Moslems against nominally Christian countries and Israel. It could become an Armageddon.”

“That’s not my concern.”

“No, Gran, it’s mine. It’s my job, if not my destiny, to try and stop it. I have been trying to stop it, but sadly I failed because the tools you lot gave me weren’t enough. Even my beautiful Lady Sekhmet, could not stop it.” I began to cry again.

“How do you know that?” She fixed me with a powerful stare, “Have you asked her?”

“N...no, I haven’t actually..” I almost whispered.

“Well, perhaps you better had,” snapped Gran.

“How do I do that?” I felt about an inch tall, and incredibly stupid. This was all against the clock, I couldn’t seem to think and panic at the same time.

“How do you normally contact her?”

“I meditate and pray.”

“Goodbye Jamie, give my love to your parents.” With that she was gone.

I sank to my knees and tried to calm down. I visualised my Lady before me and prayed for her help. I begged and beseeched her for help, offering anything she wanted in return.

Just as I felt I had failed, I felt a light approaching me. It was so bright and the heat coming off it, threatened to engulf me. A voice of stentorian levels boomed through my whole body. “Who dares to disturb our rest?”

“I do, your holiness.” I kept my face to the floor in submission, but also to protect it against the ferocity of the light.

“For what reason do you disturb us, slave?” boomed the voice.

“I am in danger of failing in the mission upon which you have sent me. My physical body is very sick and gravely ill. I need your help, your majesty, to heal my body to continue my mission.”

“Why should we care if you succeed or fail?”

“Because mankind has misunderstood you for countless generations. You are seen as the Lady Sekhmet, The Eye of Re, the destroyer of worlds. This is without doubt a power you have, and you have exercised. However, my Lady, you are also a powerful healer and queen of mercy. Again, you have exercised this power many times but alas the stupidity of men has never recognised it as such. Please, I beg of you, enable me to show them the error of their ways, to show them you are not just some image from the past, but a relevance of today and forever. Please mistress, allow this humble slave to finish her task, so that many may sing your praises.”

I stayed in my pose of submission, could my flattery have possibly helped or would I be consumed by the fire? Time was ticking by. I had no idea how long my body had been without my spirit, it would be ironic if I got sent back and physically recovered only to have severe brain damage. To be stuck in some form of living nightmare. I shuddered at this thought.

“Rise slave,” boomed the voice.

“We are not impressed by your flattery,” echoed the voice and my heart sank. I prepared to be consumed by the fire.

“However, we are impressed with your audacity. Go, save your worthless planet and its brainless populations, save them from their own stupidity and wickedness. Fail in your task, and you will be punished for eternity. Go, leave our presence.”

No sooner, had the voice resonated and I felt myself being sucked back into my body. The pain was so intense I must have passed out. I felt paralysed but knew I was back in my physical state.

“I’m sorry Mrs Curtis, there was nothing more we could do. Do you want to see her?” The voice was a man’s, I took it to be some doctor or other. I heard my mother crying.

I desperately wanted to move or speak or say something, but I couldn’t. Was my nightmare beginning, was I locked in my body, aware of the outside world but unable to respond to it? The eternal fire seemed an improvement on this torment.

I heard and felt my parents stand and touch me. They kissed me, and rubbed my cheek. Inside I was crying too. I felt like Sleeping Beauty, except it would take more than a kiss to wake me from my slumber.

I felt John come in and stand beside me. I heard him give his speech of what might have been, and how he would seek and destroy those responsible. He would kill them himself, if it took him the rest of his life.

Inside I was screaming for him to stop and to listen to me, but he couldn’t hear me. How could I make him know I was still there?

I felt him walk away, I felt his pain as he slowly stepped down the corridor, I could also feel his anger.

How could I make him see me? I drifted into a sort of dreamlike state, I saw our stormy relationship, the good and the bad times. I recalled how he had saved my life when his curiosity over what he thought he saw, caused him to come and find me being attacked. He saved my life. I repaid the compliment. We were even. This was it. They would cremate me, alive and the fire would last for eternity. Oh bugger.

I sent a lioness to guard John, if this war erupted as it seemed likely, he would need protection. I tried to think positive ideas as I prepared for my fate.

I felt my body being taken to be stored in a mortuary. I was loaded into the metal coffin trolley. I could feel every bump of the floor as the wheels thumped and bumped. How could they do this to people, didn’t they know the dead have feelings?
I tried to return to my meditation as the trolley stopped. Some sort of altercation was going on. “Gee whiz!” I thought, “What have you got to do to get some peace around here?”

The altercation was getting worse, something bumped against the trolley and seemed to hit the floor. Then the trolley lid was opened. “Jamie, wake up my princess. Wake up girl.”

The voice was John’s. I felt him lift me out of the trolley. Someone else shouted, “That’s him,” and footsteps were running towards us.

“Put her back, sir,” demanded a deep masculine voice.

“She isn’t dead. I know it,” shouted John.

“Come on sir, I know you’re upset, but please put her back in the trolley.”

“She isn’t dead. Why don’t you morons listen to me?” John’s voice was getting more excited and agitated.

“According to the doctors, she is, sir. Now please put her back.”

I felt John hoist me over his shoulder, as he was clearly going to try and keep me against the wishes of these others. I heard someone else approach him, there was the sound of a punch and a plop on the floor. As this was happening, my abdomen was lifted and dropped on his shoulder. The compression caused some air to be pushed from my stomach and out of my throat. I groaned.

“See, she’s alive.” John screamed at them.

“No sir, that’s just air escaping from her lungs.” Said another, new voice.

Then I coughed.

“Oh fuck!” said the new voice, she’s alive. “Get the emergency team, quick. Here let me help you lay her down.” I was manhandled to a trolley.

“She’s breathing.” Someone shouted, “and I’ve got a pulse.”

Running footsteps, several, then the trolley was pushed at a running pace, presumably to A and E. One voice asked, “How long was she flat lining?” referring to my lack of signal on a monitor.

“About an hour, I think.”

“Shit, it’ll be another cabbage, but we’d better go through the motions. Arrange an EEG and possible brain scan.”

“Can I have a drink please?” I croaked.

“Fuck me,” said the main voice.

“Not until I’ve had a drink.” I croaked back.

“Get Campion down here asap,” said the voice.

“Who’s he?” I croaked, “a waiter?”

“Can you open your eyes?” asked the voice. I felt him pull open the eyelid and shine in a torch looking for a pupil response.

“Where’s that drink?” I asked.

“Coming,” he said.

“Do I have to fuck you first?” I croaked.

“Not unless you want to,” he retorted.

“Nah, I want the drink.” I said, opening my eyes and sitting up.

“Jesus Christ!” said the voice, which actually belonged to a young and rather hairy looking doctor.

“No.” I said, “But he is a friend of mine.” Then I hopped off his gurney.
“You can walk?” He said his face going rather pale.

“Of course. I can fly as well, but I left my wings at home. I’ll bring them next time.”
He stood shaking, saying nothing.

“Thanks for the ride.” I pecked him on his bearded cheek, and strode back towards the direction I knew my clothes were in. My parents had them, although I suspected they were probably filthy and wet. They had probably been dumped by now. I needed some more. John was calling from behind me. I walked on, he could run. Time was of the essence and work came before pleasure. I needed a rewrite on that adage.