Link: The Wisher's Paradox Title Page and Description

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Sitting at the Grant's dining room table, Christina felt the weight of her change weighing on her more with each passing minute. Kathy is still in love with me, but she can't even face me! Mother and Daddy don't even know me, I have no future, no past... no hope. If I didn't promise Mrs. Grant I'd wait, I would just leave. Biting her lower lip, she waited.

When the front door opened, the girl jumped in a start. Seeing Mr. Grant come in, the two locked eyes for a moment before Christina looked down.

"Hello!" George Grant greeted the new girl as he closed the door. "Are you a friend of Kathy's?"

With a shy nod, Christina stared at her lap. "She's in her room, talking to Mrs. Grant. She asked me to wait here."

Looking at his watch, George shook his head. "It's getting kind of late. You should be getting home... uh... what's your name?"

"Christina." she mumbled. "I promised Mrs. Grant I'd wait here until she was done talking to Kathy."

Pursing his lips, George shook his head. "Well, I think you should be getting home, Christina. It's seven-thirty. Don't worry! I'll explain to Linda... Mrs. Grant. Whatever it is, it'll wait until tomorrow." Walking over to the door, he put his hand on the knob and looked at her expectantly.

Getting up reluctantly, Christina made her way over to the door and looked up at the man she'd known almost as long as her own father, and loved nearly as much. "I shouldn't leave without Mrs. Grant saying it's OK, Mr. Grant. I promised her!"

Opening the door, George smiled but was stern. "Go on home, Christina."

Walking out the door, the girl heard it close behind her, heading down the walkway and down the street, nowhere to go as the sun began to set and her tears began to fall.

"What do you mean you told her to go home?" Linda yelled. "Christina has nowhere to go, George!"

Her husband was stunned. After he told Christina to go home, he went to his bedroom to change out of his work clothes. He'd just finished changing when he heard the commotion in the living room. Hearing his daughter Kathy yelling at his wife, he'd charged out to put a stop to it. What he'd seen baffled him. His wife stood there speechlessly with tears rolling down her cheeks while Kathy berated her and the woman just took it.

After getting Kathy to calm down, she told him the argument was all about Christina leaving. When he told Kathy that he was the one to make the girl go home, it was Linda who'd turned on him.

"How was I supposed to know that, Linda!" he shouted back. "You didn't call or text me to say Kathy had a guest over tonight! It's a school night! She's never allowed to have friends over on a school night!"

"Christina's a special case!" Linda shouted. Calming down, the woman tried to explain in a way that he wouldn't think was insane. "Her... her parents aren't available. I'm sorry I didn't let you know, but it was all last-minute!"

Shrugging, George didn't look concerned. "OK, so call her and tell her to come back! I'll explain that it was my fault and..."

"Christina doesn't have a cell phone, Daddy!" Kathy shouted. "We can't call her! Who knows where she went! She couldn't go home!"

"Why didn't she tell me that?" he snapped.

"It... it's complicated, dear." Linda hedged. "Her... her parents are having... problems. I said she could stay here. We've got to find her, George! In her state, she might hurt herself!"

"We should call the police." he stated simply as he headed for the phone.

"No!" both Kathy and Linda shouted together.

Stopping short, he looked at them as if they'd both gone crazy. "Look, what's going on here? Why don't you want me calling the police? That's what they're there for!"

Stepping up calmly, Linda tried to explain without explaining. "George? Do you trust me?"

"Of course I do!" he answered, hurt that she would even have to ask.

"Then I'm asking you to do what I ask without knowing why. When did she leave?"

"Right after I got home. About fifteen minutes ago."

Grabbing her purse, she headed toward the door. "I need you to get in your car and start looking for her, George! I'll take mine. Kathy? You stay here in case she comes back!"

Wanting to help look, Kathy ran up to her. "I wanna come with you Mom!"

"No!" Linda shouted. "You have to stay! If she comes back, you need to be here to make sure she doesn't leave again! Please, sweetie! The more time we waste, the worse our chances of finding her before..." Pausing, she tried to say what she feared without scaring Kathy. "...before she gets in trouble!"

Nodding, Kathy backed away while her mother ran out the door, George right behind her after grabbing his keys and wallet. Once they were gone, Kathy went over to sit by the phone and began to pray while she cried. God? Please don't let Christina get hurt! I'll do anything! You can have me instead! Please! I'm begging you! Protect her?

Walking the few blocks to her parents' house, Christina didn't know where else to go. Standing outside her home, she watched in the windows, hiding in the bushes. She could see the strange car parked on the street, occasionally seeing a couple of strange men walking around her living room like they were searching for something. When she saw her mother Ruth, she nearly cried at how distraught the woman looked.

Hearing a car coming, she ducked further out of sight until it passed slowly. Peeking out, she saw it was Kathy's mother's car. She was about to come out to wave her down when her front door opened, sending her back into hiding.

"Try not to worry, Mrs. Cocoran." one of the men tried to reassure her. "We have this Christina person's fingerprints, as well as video and pictures taken at the hospital. Whoever's behind your son's disappearance, the girl is the key to finding them and Walter. We have pictures of her out to every officer in the area. One of them is bound to spot her sooner or later."

"Thank you, Agent Stewart." David responded as he held Ruth, who looked like a hollow shell. "We'll be here if you need us for anything."

Watching the two FBI agents leave, Christina turned and saw her parents still standing outside their door. When the agents' car finally pulled away, the two turned and went back inside.

Remaining in her hiding place, Christina cried for her lost life and home, as well as for her devastated parents. Remaining there for some uncounted time, the darkness of the night deepening, the girl slowly started walking away, not even sure where she was going.

Christina found herself behind a supermarket in a strip mall. Smelling the food from the restaurant next door, her stomach growled as she thought how that simple sandwich and glass of milk might be the only meal she would have for some time. Spotting a cardboard box that must have been for a stand-up freezer, she headed toward it; the heat of the late spring day sapping away in the dry desert air and turning cold.

Tipping the box over, she crawled inside it and pulled the flaps closed behind her. Crawling to the far end, she leaned on the bottom until the box tipped back upright, spilling her on her head and making her dizzy. Sitting down in the bottom of the box, she settled in, laced her fingers together, and closed her eyes.

God? It... it's me... Christina. I'm an idiot! I thought becoming a girl would make me happy, but it's terrible! I have no home, no family, no past, and no future! I've tried all day to be good, but it's just getting harder! Everything always goes wrong! I don't want to complain, because this is what I always wanted... being myself, I mean... but it's too hard! I don't know what to do! If I get caught, the police are gonna throw me in jail for helping kidnap me! No one'll believe me if I tell 'em the truth, so I'll probably end up in a foster home! Even if it's not like on TV or in the movies, it still won't be with Mother and Daddy, and they'll be heartbroken when I never come home!

Sighing in defeat, she continued. I know praying isn't supposed to be all about me, so can you do something for me? Can you make Mother and Daddy not be so sad? I know you can't like, make them forget me, but can you maybe give them happy dreams of having Walt back? That way they at least get a little time with the son they really love... not me.

Anyway, I guess I should thank you for letting Lisbeth make me a girl, so... um... thanks... I guess. It's my fault it turned out so terrible. I guess I wasn't a good enough girl. I'll try to be one from now on. I promised, though I don't know how long I can be good alone. I love you, God. Amen.

With nothing else to say and nearly exhausted from walking and lack of food, she curled into a ball to stay warm, crying herself to sleep.

It would be the second night in a row that Christina would be watched over by unseen eyes as she slept.

Walking through the same field of wildflowers as the night before, Christina wandered aimlessly. Usually when she would dream, because she was always herself, she would invariably be happy. This time though she walked without purpose or enjoying being a girl.

After some time, she heard footsteps running up behind her. Turning quickly, she saw Officer Martinez running straight at her. Terrified, she froze in place. Just as he got close, he jumped to catch her and flew right through her body as though she wasn't there. Turning around, she was once more alone in the field, her heart pounding.

Breaking into a run, Christina ran and ran. It seemed like hours went by and still the only thing she could see was wildflowers, as though she hadn't gone anywhere. Stopping to catch her breath, she sat down and breathed heavily. Once calmed down, she looked up to see a strange man looking at her. It startled her, but at the same time he didn't seem dangerous, and in fact looked familiar somehow.

"Who are you?" she asked tentatively.

"No one you'd know, Christina." he answered. "Just a friend. Why were you running away?"

"Officer Martinez was gonna catch me." she explained. "I... I don't know why he didn't. It was like he just disappeared when he tried."

Smiling gently, the man walked up to her and held out a hand.

Taking it nervously, Christina felt him pull her to her feet with ease, her exhaustion suddenly gone and she felt refreshed. "What's your name?"

"You can call me Hank." he smiled down at her.

As the two began to stroll together through the flowers, she looked up at him several times before settling on what she wanted to ask him.

"Yes. I am." he answered with a smile before she asked.

Stopping suddenly, Christina stepped back away from him in fear. "You... you're an angel? Like Lisbeth?"

Wincing slightly at her reaction, Hank took a breath and blew it out slowly. "Not exactly. Lisbeth has always been an angel. She doesn't know what it's like to be a person. I... well... I was a man once. That's why I know how to talk to you with words!"

Her fear diminishing, she stepped closer to him again. "Can... can you undo it? Turn me back into Walt? It... it's too hard being a girl! I lost everything!"

Looking down sadly, Hank shook his head. "I'm sorry, Christina. No, I can't. Lisbeth told you as much. Once a miracle has been performed, it's because God wanted it to happen. For whatever reason, He wanted you to be a boy that got turned into a girl through a miracle. Who knows why, but I know to trust Him on these things!"

"But I could have said no!" she pointed out. "If God wanted me to be turned into a girl, why did He give me a choice?"

"Because you could have said no." he explained vaguely. "He values free will over almost everything, even His plans for people. If you'd have said no, you would have stayed Walt and not gone down the path that He wanted for you to follow. That's always your choice. That's what makes us different from everything else in the world. We can choose. Everything else is His doing."

Not able to really follow what Hank was telling her, she looked up at him again. "So... why're you here then?"

Hank seemed lost in memory for a moment. "Someone I care about very much asked Him to watch out for you. Make sure you stayed safe."

"Who?"

Looking at the infinite horizon, Hank remembered the day he died. Suddenly the field of flowers was gone and the two stood on a street next to a wrecked car, rain falling all around them but neither one getting wet.

As Christina watched, a second version of Hank ran from around the car and almost ripped the door off its hinges, the sound of metal groaning before it popped open with a crack. Reaching in, the double came back out with a girl in his arms. Carrying her a short distance away from the car that had just started to burn, he put the crying and dazed girl down gently on the grass nearby and vanished as though he'd never been there.

Staring at the girl as she fruitlessly looked around for her savior, Christina noticed that she looked a lot like Kathy, but not quite the same. "Who... who's that?" she asked vacantly.

"My daughter Linda." Hank replied. "This was the day I died... and she very nearly did as well."

Confused, Christina slowly walked up to the sobbing girl who didn't seem to notice her. Looking carefully, Christina turned back to look at Hank. "Is that Mrs. Grant when she was little?"

Nodding, Hank walked up, took Christina's hand, and once more they were in the field of wildflowers. "You're a pretty smart young lady! You're also empathetic and compassionate. I know what my granddaughter sees in you!"

Pulling her hand away, Christina turned away from him. "I... You should go. You should watch over her. She deserves someone better than me! I didn't even think how me becoming a girl might hurt her! I'm a selfish monster!"

Putting his hands on her shoulders, Hank gently turned her around and sank down to his knees to look her in the eyes. "Christina! Now you know that's not true! You're a very kind and considerate young lady, and Kathy loves you because you earned that love. You becoming a girl doesn't change that."

"But I hurt her, Hank!" she cried. "Me being a girl hurts her and my parents! I didn't think about any of them when I said yes! I just thought about myself and what I wanted! What kind of a person does that make me?"

Laughing, he hugged the girl warmly. "It makes you human, Christina! You hurt every time you saw yourself as Walt. Many girls like you become bitter, angry, jealous, and even make a mockery of their feminine gift. Others let the hurt rule them and take their own lives. You... you were special. You never let the pain tear you down, even when it was intolerable."

Pulling away a little, she looked at him curiously. "How do you know all that about me? How long have you been watching over me?"

"I knew all that the moment I touched your hand." he answered. "Every time you hurt, it burned into your soul and I could feel every one of them. You have an amazing strength! You never let the hurt corrupt your heart."

Shyly looking down, Christina blushed at the compliment. "Thanks." After a moment, she looked up at him again. "So... now what happens?"

Smiling, Hank let her go and stood up, backing away. "Now you rest, wake up, forget all this, and go back to my daughter's home. She was up half the night looking for you. I'll keep you safe until morning. Just rest."

Getting a sleepy feeling again, Christina lay down in the flowers and watched Hank looking down at her, closing her eyes and feeling safe.

The loud bang of the garbage truck emptying the dumpster only ten feet from her hiding place woke Christina with a start. Her heart racing, she looked up to see sunlight peaking in from the mostly closed flaps of the box she'd slept in. Her body was sore and her stomach ached from lack of food, but it wasn't long before she heard the clamorous truck drive away and the only noise she could hear was the distant sound of traffic.

Leaning on the side of the box, it once more tipped over so that she was on all fours and able to crawl toward the opening. Peering out carefully, she saw no one around and quickly climbed out. Feeling like she'd just closed her eyes, she was surprised that she didn't remember her dreams like she usually did. Reaching into her front pocket, she retrieved the change she'd found the day before.

"Sixty cents." she grumbled. "That wouldn't even get me a taco!" Wondering where she could go to get something to eat, the only place she could think of was the last place she'd eaten. Kathy's house. she sighed inwardly. Starting to walk without a destination in mind, she felt guilty for not going back to their house last night. Maybe that's why she was driving around... looking for me. Mrs. Grant understands, and I think she actually believes me that I used to be Walt! For a grownup, that's pretty amazing!

Before she realized it, she noticed she was walking back to Kathy's house without thinking. Lacking any better ideas, and weary of her circumstances, she continued her journey until at last she stood in front of the home once more. Almost unconsciously, she knocked on the front door.

Kathy ate her cereal in silence. Last night had been horrible. She waited by the phone for hours without word, crying and praying. When her father came back at ten o'clock, he called Kathy's mother, who insisted on continuing her search well into the night. When she got home at two in the morning, Kathy was asleep on the couch next to the phone, George snoring next to her.

Taking another bite, Kathy looked across the table at her parents. Her mother looked ragged and worn, having gotten too little sleep, while her father just appeared worried. Finishing her bite, Kathy sighed. "You think she's OK?"

Looking over at Linda, her father furrowed his brow. "I... I don't really know, sweetie. I don't know if any of us are OK."

"George!" Linda almost whined. "Are we going to go through this again? I tell you, that girl is Walt! As crazy as that sounds, I know it's true!"

"Changed into a girl by an angel, Linda?" he scoffed.

"Yes!" she insisted. "Just the same way my life was saved by one, George! You said you believed me when I told you that story when we first started dating! Was that a lie?"

Caught in a trap of his own words, he just sat there a moment, relieved when there was a knock at the door. "I'll get it!" he jumped up and ran for the door. Opening it, he looked down and saw Christina standing there, disheveled, pale, drawn, and with dark circles under her wide eyes.

Seeing the man who'd made her leave the night before at the door, Christina started to back away. "I... I'm sorry, Mr. Grant! I'll go!"

"Wait!" he yelled softly, running after her and stopping her retreat by gently grabbing her arm. "Please! Come inside, Christina."

Hesitantly, she let him guide her back into the house. When she saw Kathy sitting at the table eating breakfast, she looked away from her in shame and self-loathing.

Linda jumped out of her seat when she saw George escorting Christina in. "My God, Christina!" she cried, running up to the girl and wrapping her in her arms. "What happened to you! Where were you?"

Hearing her best friend's new name, Kathy turned in her seat quickly to see Christina standing in front of her father George. Shock overwhelmed her at the sight of the girl. She looked emaciated and like someone had kicked her into a gutter. Seeing her mother embrace the girl with the thousand-yard stare, Kathy slowly got up, her tears barely held at bay.

Overwhelmed, Christina accepted the affection and hugged her back, albeit weakly. "I... I found a box in back of a strip mall. I slept in there. I'm sorry you were worried. I... I didn't think you wanted me here." She glanced up at George with a look of fear. "You shouldn't worry about me. Kathy's the one who got hurt by what I did."

Quickly examining her, Linda satisfied herself that the girl was unharmed, though in need of a bath, clean clothes, and a meal. "It's alright, Christina! We care about you! You look starved! When's the last time you ate?"

Looking over at Kathy, she swallowed hard. "Um... yesterday afternoon. I... I had a sandwich with Kathy after she got home from school."

Seeing there was more to it, Linda pressed. "And before that?"

"Um... the night before... when I was still... um... you know."

"When she was Walt." Kathy finished for her, stepping closer. "Christina? Are... are you OK?"

Nodding, she looked away embarrassedly. "I'm fine. I was kinda sore this morning, though."

"It was in the low sixties this morning." George pointed out. "Too cold for just sleeping in a box."

"You didn't cover yourself with anything, did you, sweetheart?" Linda asked.

"The box was closed." she pointed out. "There were holes in it, though."

Taking the girl by the hand, she started toward the bathroom. "Come on sweetie. We're gonna get you a warm bath."

"What about work, honey?" her husband asked.

"I think the family just came down with a twenty-four-hour cold, George!" she answered without stopping. "Make the calls. I'm going to need your level head today! We have a lot of things to figure out!"

Guiding the new girl into the bathroom, she noticed part of the stink on her was that at some point in the night Christina had wet herself. It had dried quickly in the desert air, but the smell lingered. "It's OK, sweetie. I know you had an... accident. We'll take care of things, OK?"

Nervous, Christina looked at the bathtub. "Um... Mrs. Grant? I... I've never seen a girl naked before! Not even me! I've only ever gone to the bathroom once since all this happened, and even then I didn't look!"

Pausing after she started the water running, she looked at the girl curiously. "Oh! Um... no... I guess you wouldn't have, would you?" Realizing that it also meant the poor child had no idea how to take care of herself as a girl and knew nothing about feminine hygiene, she resolved to teach her what she needed to know. "Sweetie? There's some things about being a girl you need to know, OK?"

"I know some stuff, Mrs. Grant." she admitted shyly.

"Not enough." she stressed. "OK, we'll start with the fact that since you are a girl, looking at your own body isn't dirty, OK? You need to be able to look at yourself to make sure you're clean. So we'll start with getting undressed."

Gulping, Christina knew she was right. I gotta be able to look at myself and know that it's OK. It's not like I can go my whole life and never get naked! Sitting down, she removed her worn shoes and socks. Taking a breath, she closed her eyes and pulled the dirty pink top over her head. Cracking her eyes open, she saw Linda standing there looking at her expectantly.

"Pants and underwear, too?"

"Do you know another way to take a bath, sweetie?"

When she looked down at her jeans, even the thought of taking them off nearly made her hyperventilate; images of Doctor Ramsey undressing her filling her mind.

Seeing the girl begin to panic, Linda knelt down in front of her. "It's OK, Christina! You're safe! What's wrong, sweetie?"

Explaining about the hospital, Christina took a breath. "When I changed behind the donation bin, I was in such a hurry and so scared I didn't even think about it and kept my eyes closed! Now when I think about taking off my pants, I just see his face! What's wrong with me?"

Taking the girl's hands, she tried to calm her down. "Nothing's wrong with you, Christina! It was a traumatic experience! Do you want me to leave? Would that make it easier?"

Thinking about it, she nodded. "I think it would, Mrs. Grant. Is that OK?"

Nodding in understanding, Linda stood up. "I'll be right outside, OK? Once you're in the tub, I'm going to have to tell you how to clean yourself, so I'll have to come in when you get more comfortable with yourself. Understand?"

"Yeah." she sighed. "I'll try to be quick."

Exiting the bathroom, Linda stood outside the door and waited. After a few moments, she saw her husband approaching.

"What's wrong, honey?" he asked concernedly.

"Christina's never seen her body naked or bathed as a girl." she explained. "She's getting undressed and in the tub so I can tell her how to clean herself. Still think it's crazy?"

"More than ever." he shook his head. "This is nuts, Linda! I don't mean you or Kathy, or even Christina... I mean the whole situation! What kind of sick joke is this! Assuming she's telling the truth, what kind of miracle is this? Ripping the child out of her home? No birth record? How's she supposed to get into school? What about a job later? This is insane!"

"I know!" Linda admitted. "That's why she's gonna need your help, George."

The man's face fell like a stone. "No! You aren't suggesting..."

"What choice does she have, love?" Linda argued. "You're the only one who could do something about her biggest issue... no birth record!"

"It's illegal!" he shouted in a whisper. "I could go to prison, Linda!"

"She needs our help, George! You work in the Bureau of Vital Records! Who would know? Couldn't you do it so it can't be traced back to you?"

Thinking for a moment, he thought of several ways to insert a birth record into the system in such a way as to leave no trace that he'd been the one to do it. Shaking his head in disgust at the idea, he got mildly angry that she would suggest it. "It's wrong, Linda! Even if I could get away with it, it's still wrong! It's fraud! Besides, who do we say her parents are, huh? From what you told me, Ruth and David weren't exactly open to the idea!"

"That was when she was telling them alone with no one to support her story, George!" she countered. "If we go to them, tell them she really is Walt, don't you think they'd at least listen to her?"

"Or they might think we took Walt!" he pointed out. "Linda, this could ruin us! We're talking federal prison here! For kidnapping! Maybe even human trafficking!"

"Don't they need Walt for that? How can they prove we did anything if he's just gone and never seen again?"

"What if she isn't Walt?" he countered. "What if he shows up? Then what?"

"She is! I know it in my heart! She doesn't know anything about actually being a girl! She almost had a panic attack just taking off her pants! More importantly, Kathy knows it." Explaining that their daughter had been falling for her best friend, and how that love had transferred to Christina, she sighed. "She's Walt, and Kathy loves her, George. I saw this coming... her feelings for Walt, I mean."

Absorbing this new information, George's head spun. "OK, that only means that Kathy believes she's Walt. She's eleven!"

"So's Christina, George! Do you think she's some sort of junior con artist?"

"Mrs. Grant?" came the girl's voice from the bathroom. "I... I'm ready now."

Giving her husband a look, she whispered, "We'll finish this later!"

Walking back out into the living room, George sat back down at the table with his daughter to talk about her relationship with Christina.

Knocking gently, Linda opened the door. "Coming in." she announced before entering. Looking at the tub as she closed the door behind her, she saw the girl in the steaming warm water covering her chest with her arms. Taking a breath, she pressed forward. We've got a lot to do!