Chapter 1 - The Wish

Link: The Wisher's Paradox Title Page and Description

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Looking around her room, Christina smiled. Well, it's as clean as I can get it, anyway! Wiping her hands together, she turned to leave the decidedly boyish bedroom, catching sight of herself in the mirror that was the door to her closet.

Her smile melted every time she saw herself. Instead of the tiny blonde girl she saw herself as, very much like her mother Ruth, 'Walter' was a tall husky boy with short brown hair like her father David. Pushing the depression away with a shake of her head, she forced herself to look again. It's not as though she were overweight. She was actually quite athletic, built just like her father who wouldn't look out of place as a linebacker for a professional football team. Look on the bright side! You know who you are, you're doing good in school, you have lots of friends, and no pimples! With a sigh, she headed out into the living room to vacuum before her mother got home from work.

No one asked her to do it. She did it so that her parents wouldn't have to. Moving the furniture was easy for her. Even at eleven, she was almost as big as her mother and, if her father were any measure of where her body was headed, she'd end up over six feet tall and a shade over two hundred pounds of easily obtained muscle. Not exactly the girly type. she mused with a giggle as she pushed the couch out of the way before running the vacuum over the exposed carpet.

Straightening up after cleaning, she looked around the room with a satisfied smile and headed back to her room to do her homework.

Writing her given name at the top of her paper, she couldn't help but sigh in mild sorrow. Ever since she was three years old and made her first friends, all other girls, she knew herself to be a girl like them. She enjoyed playing dolls, house, tea parties, and other games with the girls in her neighborhood. The few boys she'd met played games she couldn't understand. Army men and their pretend wars, cars, and other such games baffled her. It was her best friend Kathy who'd given her the name Christina. Even a few years later though, her friend didn't even remember the name. She was 'Walt'.

It was then that she realized that she wasn't like the other girls. All too soon she'd realized that her body was a boy's body. Rather than turn sad or angry though, Christina was different. She was the eternal optimist and tried to just not let it bother her.

Shaking herself from the doldrums that threatened to take her, Christina put a smile on her face and dived into her English assignment.

Two hours later, Ruth Cocoran turned off the engine of her car and sighed exhaustedly before opening the door, letting the cool of the air-conditioned interior out and the ninety-three degree air in. Stepping out into the heat that had come down from almost a hundred degrees earlier that day, she was nearly sweating by the time she opened the front door, carrying the bag of groceries in with her.

"Walt!" she shouted from the entryway as she kicked the front door closed behind her. "I'm home, sweetie!"

Bounding out into the living room like an excited puppy, Christina ran up to her mother happily. "Welcome home, Mother!" Taking the groceries from her arms, the oversized girl beamed as though she hadn't seen her in days, even though it had only been since breakfast that morning. "Let me help you with that! How was work?"

It was the same as most afternoons for Ruth, so the behavior didn't seem at all out of place to the accountant, mother, and wife. "Work was fine, sweetie. How was school?" Even as she asked, she was kicking off her shoes while Christina took the food to the kitchen.

"School was OK." the girl answered noncommittally as she began to put the newly purchased food in the refrigerator. "Oh! You should have seen the outfit Kathy wore today! I can't believe that her mom let her wear a top that didn't even cover her midriff! I gave her a bit of a hard time about it! You could almost see her bra, it was so short!"

Shaking her head as she put her briefcase next to the desk she used at home, Ruth arched a brow at Christina's revelation. "Given how hot it was today, I almost envy her! Ah, to be young again!"

Stopping her self-assigned chore, Christina leaned out of the kitchen back into the living room and looked at her with eyes wide. "Mother!"

"Oh, Walt!" she retorted. "I was a girl of the eighties, sweetie! We invented the bare midriff!"

Her turn to shake her head, Christina resumed her task. "Well, I think it's a little too risqué, if you ask me! I mean, I'm not judging her for it, but still."

Biting her lip to repress her desire to correct her child for talking so much like a girl, Ruth closed her eyes and took a breath. No matter how long Christina had been acting so femininely, which was over six years that the woman could tell for certain, she just couldn't get used to it coming from such an obvious looking boy. "I'm going to hop in the shower before I start dinner, sweetie. Thank you for putting away the groceries for me. You didn't have to, you know."

"I know!" Christina replied cheerily. "I'm happy to help, Mother! Enjoy your shower! I need to get back to my English paper... unless you'd like me to cook dinner for you?"

"No!" Ruth almost snapped. "That is, you should focus on your school work. Let me take care of dinner, sweetheart. Alright?"

"OK, Mother!" Christina chirped as she almost skipped back to her room.

Heading into the master bathroom, Ruth tried not to read too much into her child's feminine behavior. At first it had worried both her and David, to the point that they'd had Christina genetically tested to verify she was in fact a male and not misidentified at birth. The test had come out as expected; she was a perfectly normal boy physically, but her personality was definitely female. When she and David had talked to her about it with open minds, they still didn't get anywhere. She could still remember the conversation.

Ruth looked at her five-year-old eating lunch after school a week following the doctor's visit. "Honey? Your daddy and I want to ask you something."

Trying to be supportive, David Cocoran nodded. "Listen to your mommy, Walt. It's important, OK?"

Seeing that they were serious, Christina's eyes widened and she put down her glass of milk. "OK, Daddy. I'm listening."

Gathering her courage, she asked, "Honey? Your daddy and I want to help, so please be honest. Do you know why you don't act like the other boys?"

Biting her lower lip, Christina slowly shook her head. "No."

With Ruth frustrated on that front, David took a turn. "Walt? Do you know why you do act like the girls in your Kindergarten class?"

Suddenly happy and animated, Christina smiled at him. "Oh! You mean like Kathy and Rachel and Lindsey and Beth and Sharon and..."

"Yes!" he interrupted her. "Like them! Don't you have any boys that are your friends?"

Thinking hard, Christina shook her head. "Nuh uh. They all play dumb games and aren't any fun! Robert even pushed Kathy on the playground and called her a dumb girl, and boy did he get it when I told teacher!"

Looking at one another knowingly, they both recognized the way she'd answered and sighed, having been warned by Walt's pediatrician that she might have gender issues. Knowing they had to ask the inevitable, Ruth waited for David to nod before turning to Christina. "Honey? Do... do you think you're a girl?"

Hearing them ask, Christina swallowed hard. Of course she felt like she should be a girl. She always had for as long as she could remember, which was at least the last two years. However, she also knew that she was a boy on the outside and that nothing short of a miracle would change that, for she wasn't just a boy, she was a masculine-looking one, even at five. Being a practical girl, she just accepted the inevitable, without anyone telling her she should, that she was a boy and could never change it. Shaking her head slowly, Christina did her best to answer her mother's question.

"No. I know I'm a boy. Girls are... different."

Stymied, but partially relieved, the parents pressed her for hours as to why she acted so much like a girl, but the only answer they could ever get from Christina was that she knew she was a boy, but just didn't like boy things.

Stepping out of the shower, Ruth dried herself off before throwing on a light summer dress that would keep her cool in the heat of the evening. For six years she'd watched Christina become more and more feminine, all the while insisting that she was a boy. They'd taken her to see a child psychologist at six, but all he could tell them was the same thing Christina kept insisting, that she was a boy, despite her naturally feminine behavior. Even speaking to their pastor, Reverend Brookes, didn't produce any answers.

Afraid that Christina might be gay and fearing the troubled life it would bring her due to the intolerance of others, they'd had a delicate talk with her at age seven, asking if she liked boys, fully prepared to support her no matter what she said. Remembering her response made Ruth giggle lightly. He looked so cute sticking his tongue out and going "Blech! Boys are gross! No way would I marry a boy! I am a boy!"

Fixing the spaghetti she'd planned for the evening meal, she heard her husband's car pull up the driveway and the motor die into the background noise of the air conditioner keeping the house cool. Smiling, she shouted, "Walt! Your father's home! Dinner in fifteen! Go wash up!"

"OK, Mother!" she shouted from her room as she finished putting her work in her backpack for the next school day. Hurrying to the front door, she opened it just as her father was reaching for the doorknob. "Daddy!" she shouted, hugging him with all the considerable strength in her.

"Ugh!" David groaned at the bear hug his child wrapped him in. No small man at six-foot-two and well over two hundred pounds of well-toned muscle, his eleven-year-old child's robust stature only a foot shorter and her growing strength made him wince.

"Sorry, Daddy!" Christina giggled. "Did you have a good day?"

Stepping in and closing the door behind him, her father nodded curtly. "It was alright. I had a sales review, but don't worry about your old man! He can whip the rest of the salesmen on the lot with his eyes closed!" Throwing a fake punch at Christina, he smiled at her playfully.

Shying away from the punch and pulling back to defend herself the way he'd taught her, Christina giggled and put her fists up in mock combat, but threw her father for a loop with her words. "Daddy! No fair! I wasn't ready!"

Putting his fists down, he sighed as his smile melted. "OK, sport. I'm going to go take this monkey suit off and you need to get cleaned up for dinner!"

Moving in quickly, Christina hugged him again before he could stop her and smiled as she stepped back. "OK, Daddy! I'll be quick!" Racing off to the bathroom, she tried to be happy with her lot in life. So I'm not Daddy's little girl! I know he loves me! What more can a daughter ask for?

A quarter hour later the three sat down for dinner together at the table as usual, the three joining hands while David said the prayer of thanks as he did every night. Once more with her head bowed in pure faith, Christina's thoughts turned to God. I do thank you for everything I have, God... but... well... you know. Please? As her father and mother said "Amen." she joined them with a smile and the three enjoyed their meal.

Once dinner was done, Christina went off and took her shower while her father cleaned the dinner dishes and her mother relaxed to pick a movie they could watch together. The evening seemed no different than any other as Christina sat in her boy's plain gray pajamas on the couch between her loving parents watching Angels in the Outfield, one of her favorites.

In truth, even though she was a girl of eleven, Christina believed in angels. She even still believed in Santa, though she was beginning to doubt that he was a real physical person, but more of a way of life everyone should live. It's why she tried so hard to do everything her parents told her, and then some. She knew that the angels were watching and that the only way she would ever get her heart's desire was to be as good as possible.

She did far more than they ever asked. She had nearly perfect grades, was never tardy, would never consider skipping school, refrained from using bad words, even when her parents weren't around, and in all ways tried to be the perfect little lady. Even when her father signed her up for football, she smiled and threw herself into the task, trying to be the best player she could be, even though she disliked the game. It made him happy, so she tried.

Even as the three watched the movie, they were unaware that they too were being watched by unseen eyes.

When at last the movie ended, Christina stretched and got up. "Thanks for the movie, Mom! I know you guys must hate it by now! I must have seen that at least a dozen times!"

"Just this year!" David joked.

"Oh, Daddy!" she almost whined. "I'm not that bad!" Reaching down she hugged him, careful not to overdo it this time.

Returning the hug, David was surprised when she kissed him on the cheek. He needn't have been as she'd been doing so every night of her life, but the action still seemed so at odds with his child's physique and insistence that she was a boy. "G'night, sport!" he said. "Sweet dreams and God bless!"

Hugging her mother gently, Ruth also received a kiss on the cheek. "Goodnight, Mother! See you in the morning!"

"Night, sweetheart!" she answered back before Christina had her hair petted by the woman. "Want me to tuck you in?"

"No." she sighed. "It's fine, Mother. I'm a big... boy!"

Hardly noticing the slight hitch in her only child's reply, Ruth smiled and nodded. "OK, baby. Goodnight and God bless!"

Heading for her room, Christina smiled weakly to herself. I gotta watch that! I almost called myself a girl! She knew her parents were concerned about her feminine behavior. She wasn't that naive, but felt that she needed to keep it from them so they wouldn't worry. Not like there's anything they could do about it, anyway. She'd tried acting less girly, but no matter what it just came out. Closing her bedroom door behind her, the hair bristled on the back of her neck as she looked around the silent room cautiously, feeling like she was being watched for a moment. Seeing no one there, she relaxed and turned down her covers before kneeling next to her bed.

God? It's Christina. Same thing as always! I know! You must get tired of hearing me ask for the same thing every night for seven years straight, but if it would be OK... would you make me a girl when I wake up? Please? I'm really trying to accept being stuck in a boy's body. I know there isn't much I can do about that because the body you gave me is just never gonna look girly no matter what I do, but I know you could change me to fit the inside!

I'm still trying to be the best girl I can be, just like I promised! Even if the answer's no, it's OK, though. I still love you and love the family you gave me! I'm sure if I told Mother or Daddy that I wanted to be a girl they would try and help me be one, but you know how that would work! I'd still look like a boy, no matter what clothes I wore or even if I wore makeup and had my long blonde hair! Anyway... please? Can I be a girl? I love you! Amen!

Climbing into her bed, she still couldn't shake that feeling of being watched. It scared her more than she even wanted to admit to herself. Sliding under her covers, she almost felt like hiding under them or pulling her pillow over her head. Trying to settle her nerves, she took a breath and tried to ignore the feeling until sleep claimed her.

Ruth dragged the brush through her hair after having washed it and blown it dry while David brushed his teeth and settled into bed. "David? Did you notice anything unusual about Walt tonight?"

Putting down the book he'd started reading, David looked toward the open door of the bathroom. "Hmm. Now that you mention it, yes." he agreed thoughtfully. "He seemed..." Searching for the words, he was at a total loss how to describe it. "Huh. I can't put my finger on it, but yes... there was something different."

Frustrated that he'd had no better a time recognizing the difference than she had, Ruth began angrily pulling the brush through her hair. "I don't know either! Just something... off... you know? Like he was... sad? No! That's not it! Um... maybe... content? If I didn't know better, I'd swear that he was..." Putting the brush down, she regarded herself in the mirror with a stunned look. "David! Do you think he might have a... a girlfriend?"

Sitting up, David thought back to Christina's behavior during dinner and the movie. Furrowing his brow, he pursed his lips and thought hard. "Well, he does have quite a few girlfriends, but I assume you mean something more than the girls that he's friends with?"

Coming out of the bathroom and snapping off the light as she did so, Ruth's brow was similarly bunched as his own. "Yeah, that's what I meant, but... no... it's... it's something else that I just can't put my finger on. He almost seemed... smaller. Not physically, I mean... I mean emotionally. Like he was giving something up that he used to like. You know?"

"Not really, no!" David laughed. "But I suppose I can see that." Pausing a moment, he was about to continue when he had an eerie feeling crawl up his spine. "Shhh!" he whispered.

"What's wr..." Ruth began, only to be shushed again as her husband got out of bed and silently retrieved his Smith and Wesson revolver from the nightstand.

Opening the cylinder, he loaded all six chambers with the deadly copper-jacketed hollow-point ammunition, ready to put down any intruder that might threaten his family. Flicking the weapon to the right with his wrist, the cylinder clicked into place as he crept up on the bedroom door, listening beyond it cautiously. The last thing in the world he wanted to do was shoot another human being, but he would if he had to in defense of his family.

Seeing David spooked was rare for Ruth. He'd only ever acted like this once before, shortly after they'd brought Walt home from the therapist and one of the front windows had been shattered while they'd slept. It had just been mischievous teens then, but it was enough of a scare that he'd bought the gun the next day. She wanted to stick close to him, but knew that if he needed to defend his family, the last thing he needed was her clinging to his back.

Slowly, David opened the bedroom door and peered out into the darkened hallway that led to the living room. Edging his way down the hall, he noted that Christina's door was open a crack. Nudging it open with a shoulder, he quickly swept the room with his eyes to see if there was anyone threatening his child. Seeing her sleeping form breathing slow and deep and covered head to toe under blankets, he moved throughout the rest of their home cautiously, making sure that no one could be hiding anywhere and that all the doors and windows were in fact locked.

After an interminable wait, Ruth heard him coming back down the hall at a normal pace, the sound of their child's door being closed before he returned to their bedroom as he closed the door behind him with a look of relief.

"What was it, David?" she begged.

"Nothing!" he chuckled. "I was sure that I heard someone moving around the house for a moment, but there's no one there and we're locked up tight, so..."

"...so you were just being paranoid?" she joked.

"Cautious." he corrected her as he unloaded and returned the revolver to the drawer. "Believe me. I take my responsibilities as a father and husband seriously." Settling back into bed, David shook his head to try to clear the odd feeling he couldn't shake, but just ended up ignoring it. "I worry."

"About what?" Ruth asked nervously as she climbed into the bed next to him.

"About ignorant fools thinking that just because Walt is... well... delicate, that he would make a good target." he admitted. "I won't let anyone hurt him... or you... out of ignorance, fear, or hate."

While the two talked quietly to one another, in the next room Christina was dreaming of her one wish coming true. As she did, Lisbeth looked down on her with a gentle smile and watched her beautiful dream unfold. With a slow blink, she sighed at the simple desires of the poor girl trapped in a body that was so unlike her true self; the small thin blonde that matched the girl's soul.

Dear Christina! she spoke into the girl's dream in the only way possible for her to communicate, as pure thought. You are such an innocent and beautiful girl! Your faith is pure, unselfish, and trusting in the Creator's wisdom, not your own. You don't know how rare a gift that is! Tonight it is seven years to the day that you first made your promise to the Creator that you would be the best girl you knew how to be! You have kept your promise and the Creator remembers it! The Creator has decided that you are deserving of an even more precious gift... that of choice.

Christina was standing in the middle of a field of wildflowers. The sun was warm on her skin through the thin fabric of her white floral sundress as her long blonde locks tickled gently across her shoulders in the light breeze. As she looked around, she saw the beautiful woman looking at her and smiling, the words she spoke without moving her lips simply appearing in her mind.

"Who... who are you?" she asked nervously.

A friend! Lisbeth thought to the girl. My name is Lisbeth. You people give us so many wonderful names, though! Spirit, fairy, elf, fay, genie, nymph..., but you Christina, you would call me an angel.

Her breath caught as she looked at the woman who seemed no different than any person she'd ever met, save that she was uncommonly beautiful and could speak to her wordlessly. Swallowing hard, she looked at the creature and stepped closer cautiously. "W-what choice am I being given?"

The choice to accept or deny your heart's greatest desire. Lisbeth told her with a gentle smile. Do you accept it? I must warn you, it may not be all you hope it to be. You need not accept. You're old enough now to know that decisions have consequences. This one is no different.

Suddenly realizing that the woman was offering to give her a girl's body to go with her girl's soul, her eyes went wide. "W-what? How can I say no? I mean, is there a downside? Will I still look like a boy or something?"

Laughing gently, Lisbeth's mouth still never opened. No! You will look as you do here. It is the image the Creator gave you to soothe your aching soul. It is what you would have looked like, what you will look like if you accept this gift, a mix of your mother and father. Are you so vain it would matter?

Smiling, Christina shook her head. "No! Not really! I mean, it's nice to be pretty, but I just want to be a girl! I don't care what else! Just being able to be called Christina instead of Walt all the time! Oh, to be able to wear a dress when I want to feel pretty, or grungy sweats when I'm grumpy? Yes!"

With a slow nod, Lisbeth arched her brows. I give you this last chance to refuse. Once done, it cannot be undone. Are you sure you don't have any questions you would ask first before you decide? I will answer truthfully.

Trying to think of any possible downsides, Christina narrowed her eyes. "Will... will making me become a girl make me like boys?"

Shaking her head, an almost mischievous grin crossed her lips. No! Not even an angel can change who you are. You will love as you would have in your old body, for it will still be you. To change that about you would be to kill you and replace your soul with someone that is just similar to you. Only the Creator can create new life. It is not within our power to grant such a wish. Your body is not you. It does not control your heart.

Trying to think of anything else, Christina could barely contain herself. "Yes! I accept His gift! Please! Make me a girl!"

You always have been one, Christina. Lisbeth admonished. Your body is just a vessel for your soul, which has always been just as you are here. I know your simple words are so limited that they fail to capture what you truly mean even part of the time, but I know your heart's desire... that your body should reflect your soul. It shall be. From this day forward you will have a girl's body which will grow into a woman's body as though it had always been yours. Nothing else will change. You will still be yourself and your promise will still be held by the Creator as the gift you offered freely. Now rest and sleep. When you awaken, it will be done. Goodbye, Christina! Go with the love of the Creator!

Suddenly very sleepy, which she felt was odd for this being a dream, the girl lay down in the wildflowers and her eyes closed; the last thing she saw being the beautiful woman fading from view.

In her bedroom, Lisbeth stood watch over Christina as her body slowly transformed over the course of hours. It could have been instantaneous, but Lisbeth wanted to ensure that the process was painless and natural, allowing time for her system to acclimate as her body shrank, her hair lengthened and turned a golden fair, her bones shifted, and a womb grew in her body.

When at last it was done, the sun was nearing the horizon and an alarm clock buzzed from the next room where Christina's parents slept. With a shake of her head and a sad expression, Lisbeth sighed in sorrow for the girl. You poor creature. You did not have the experience or forethought to ask the needed questions. It will be hard on you, little one. Harder than you ever thought possible. Far easier a time you would have had would you have turned down the gift and just showed your parents who their daughter is. I do not know why the Creator offered the gift to you, or why I could not counsel one as young as you without you asking. Still, you may yet persevere. May the Creator watch over you, dear one! You are going to need it!

At that, Lisbeth vanished from sight, even as the girl's father crawled out of bed to get ready for work.



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