Zoom Doom 3
by
Angharad.
It was Sunday morning and Beth, who'd spent all her waking and sleeping hours as a girl since her mother discovered her secret, was taking extra care with her hair and makeup. She'd borrowed her mum's heated rollers and Debbie's old curling tongs. It wasn't going to plan exactly. Her makeup was easy enough but her hair just wouldn't do what she wanted, though being rather new to girl's hairstyles, she wasn't exactly sure what she wanted.

Working with your hands above your head tends to hurt your shoulders after a few minutes and Beth's felt as if they were ready to drop off, her arms, not other appendages - though that would have made disguising the area a bit easier. She couldn't get her hair to do as she wanted and almost threw down the tongs in frustration. Just then her mum appeared yawning. "What are you trying to do?" she asked and then realised as Beth explained. "I don't think your hair is quite long enough yet for that, let me see what I can do." Spraying some water on the hair she rubbed in some mousse and Beth heard the tongs sizzle as her mother wrapped the hair around them tightly and held it for several seconds. She did this half a dozen times leaving the hair in large curls, then she brushed it out and finally sprayed loads of hair lacquer on her daughter's hair. "Let it dry for a moment," she said before going off to get her breakfast.

Beth was quite happy with her hair as it settled slightly it didn't look so styled and thus more natural. She checked her makeup and touched up where it was necessary before entering the kitchen to get her light breakfast - she didn't want to eat too much as it always seemed to end up on her tummy, or so she thought yet her mother thought she looked underweight. She nagged her to have some fruit with her toast and eventually she ate a banana to shut her mother up.

Her mum smiled to herself, no one in their right mind uses full make up to do housework unless it was a novelty. All she'd done was wash her face and rub on some moisturiser and comb her hair before putting on some jeans and a top and some comfy house-shoes.

She was pleased to see that Beth had done most of the housework and the laundry and even when she checked the places that men usually miss because they don't move furniture or things on shelves, she was delighted to see her younger daughter, a phrase with which she was getting more used, had cleaned like a woman. Perhaps, this was the real person and not Ben. Then, can you categorise people by the way they clean? Probably not.

Her mum cooked a lunch for them and they had eaten and cleared up by one o'clock enabling them to get ready for their Zoom call from Debbie, Beth decided to wear her new shoes and then laughed about it, as usually you can only see head and shoulders most of the time.

Both Beth and her mum were waiting for the email with the code and at two minutes to two, it arrived and Beth clicked on the link. A minute or so later they were chatting to her. Debbie seemed genuinely surprised at Beth's appearance and accepted that the first time wasn't a fluke, her 'sister' really could look presentable.

The half an hour allowed for a freebie call wasn't anywhere near enough time to ask penetrating questions and she promised to call Beth later and they could chat, when Beth knew she'd get the third degree. It was something she knew would happen but during it she hoped she'd extract permission to borrow a few more items of clothing, her own wardrobe was rather scant, virtually nothing without Debbie's cast offs.

The time was soon up and their mum decided she would call Debbie a bit later and discuss the things that weren't said and she knew the perfect way to get the space to do it. She asked Beth to do some shopping knowing that Beth would jump at the chance to go out again. So that's what happened, after she insisted that Beth wear more comfortable shoes than the courts she had on. Beth grumbled but changed her shoes for Debbie's ballet ones.

"How have you managed to get rid of Ben?" asked Debbie.

"Ben has been gone some days now, if you mean Beth, I asked her to pop into town to get a few things."

"So you're happy your son is wandering round in my old clothes and makeup?"

"I'm not happy, but I know she is and I'm prepared to go along with it to see what she wants to do about it. If she reverts to Ben, that's good, if she doesn't, we have to see how we can help her."

"You're taking this more calmly than I'd have expected you to," Debbie said to her mother.

"I don't have the energy to get too excited about your old clothes and Beth wearing them. She has done herself proud this last week with the housework and cooking and I may be wrong, but I feel a sort of contentment in her that I never felt in Ben. I accept it may just be the novelty effect, but while it lasts, I'll support it."

"What happens if the other kids in her school find out?"

"We have to deal with it if and when it happens, perhaps it's inevitable if she wants to stay as a girl."

"You really think that might happen?" Debbie sounded a bit alarmed.

"I don't know, kiddo, we'll just have to play it by ear."

"So, I'll get known as the girl with the brother who likes to dress up in skirts."

"This isn't about you, but we may both have to make changes to accommodate your new sister."

"Don't know if I like that idea."

"Why? You had a great deal of my time and money when you went off to university I was hoping it would expand your mind."

"Look I said thank you at the time, I know you keep me afloat here but this is all a bit sudden and I don't know if he's just gay and trying to justify it."

"We haven't discussed her sexuality but she knows if she wants to talk to me about it, I'll listen and try to do so non-judgementally. She is still my child be it boy or girl and I still love her and to be honest, she is much more loveable as a girl than a boy."

"Yeah, well girls are more loveable full stop."

"Only if they show love as well as take it." Her mum gently rapped her knuckles.

"Well yeah, natch."

"Try and keep an open mind about this and thank you for letting Beth borrow your old clothes. Just remember that if you are struggling with her changes, think what it's like for her."

"Oh she can have those, yeah, I know it can't be easy but I don't want it to reflect on me, I'm a normal girl not some weird gender-bender."

"Beth acts like a normal girl too, so wait until you spend some time with her before you judge her, she's a very pretty and helpful girl."

"Yeah, okay she doesn't look too bad."

"She's very pretty and uses her makeup really well."

"Who taught her all that?"

"She says she learned it from the internet."

"A likely tale, I can't even do spreadsheets despite spending ages on bloody Youtube trying to understand them."

"Perhaps you should ask Beth, she did some the other day for her science project. She showed me the project before she submitted it."

"Oh great, that's all I bloody need, a younger brother who's not only prettier than me but also cleverer."

"It's quite recent, but since she's been a girl, she seems to be trying harder to make a go of things with her coursework and also helping me around the house and I hate to say it, but she's a bit more helpful than you ever were."

"Oh Jeez, Louise, so I'm living in the shadow of my prettier, cleverer, paragon of a younger brother."

"Not at all, but why are you referring to her as a boy all the time, does she threaten you that much?"

"No, don't be daft, I'm a real woman so what have I got to fear from my tranny brother, who's only playing at being a woman. Anyway, I've gotta go, got an assignment to finish on the Irish Potato Famine and if you tell me Ben has just done one on that and got 90% and I'll scream."

"Not as far as I know, but I did something on it when I did my nursing degree, on the consequences of malnutrition on the health of communities. I got a B+ for it."

"Yeah okay, I see my little brother inherited my mother's beauty and brains so is a cleverer and prettier girl than his big sister. Thanks, Mum." She rang off and her mother felt some disappointment as she thought she'd raised bot her kids not to be prejudiced against minorities, she hoped that things would improve if Beth decided to stay and it began to look as if that might be the case given the way she was going. Having said that, Debbie was used to being the centre of attention and she'd just have to learn to cope with it if she was somewhat usurped by her younger sister and she was both prettier and cleverer. It might even make her grow up a little, but she wasn't holding her breath.

"I had a couple of boys follow me in town," said Beth quietly as she took off Debbie's old coat.

"Oh," said her mum feeling some red lights flashing. "Do you think they recognised you?"

"Doubt it, I had my mask on and I look a bit different from my usual appearance, don'cha think?"

"Just a bit, Beth, but be careful. Why were they following you?"

"I dunno what makes boys do things do I?" Her mum bit her tongue instead of offering a reality check.

"I suppose not, did you feel threatened?"

"No, they wanted my phone number."

"I hope you didn't give it to them."

"Nah, I gave them Debbie's."

"You didn't, did you?" Her mum felt appalled.

"Relax, it was a joke, no, Debbs can get her own boyfriends I'm not sharing mine."

"If that's another, it's in poor taste."

"Sorry, Mummy," Beth blushed a deep pink.

"Just remember, you are especially vulnerable as a girl, even more so than a natural one. Boys can get very nasty if you lead them to believe something and then withdraw it. Especially if you've got them all worked up first."

"I kept well away from them and pretended I didn't hear them ask for my number."

"Well they can be quite a pest to a pretty girl, so be warned and do not take unnecessary risks."

"I won't, Mummy, promise."

They settled down and sipped at the teas. "I get the impression that Debbs isn't too pleased with me using her clothes."

"She phoned me while you were out and said you could have them all."

"Why because they're contaminated?"

"No, she was just trying to help."

"You sure, Mummy?" Beth found herself reverting to a more childlike form of address and wasn't sure why, but it felt comfortable, like the clothes she had on.

Her mother noticed her use of the term and smiled. It felt comfortable to her as well, reminding her of a time when life was easier in all sorts of ways. "Of course, darling, why shouldn't she?"

"Because it wouldn't be normal Debbie, that's why."

"What d'you mean?" She knew exactly what Beth had meant but was trying to challenge it gently.

"Well, she likes to be the centre of attention."

"I think we all do at times, and that applies to boys as well as girls, sometimes more so."

"Yeah, but as a boy I wasn't as much competition, was I?"

"Competition? How can you be competition?"

Beth blushed, she would have to answer the question and she wasn't sure where that would take her. "Um, it doesn't matter."

"Yes it does, young lady, so please explain." Her mother was not going to let it go because the earlier this was talked out the better.

"Well, for clothes and things."

"Unless you're wearing them all the time, I think Debbie will always have priority so does this mean you want to wear dresses all the time?"

"I don't know yet," Beth blushed like a tail light.

"But you think you might?"

"I dunno," she shrugged still very red faced.

"Do you want to see someone about it?"

"Like who?"

"There are doctors who deal with gender confused teens."

"Wouldn't that make it kind of official?"

"I don't know, and what if it did?"

"Well, if I stop doing it because it stops being fun, I dunno if I want it on my medical notes, do I?"

"What about one of the self-help organisations, I'm sure there are a few of them online that you could speak to and see where you went next or not as you wish."

"Wouldn't they encourage me to continue?" It seemed Beth was thinking about this very objectively which impressed her mum no end.

"Not necessarily, AA tries to help people stop drinking."

"I thought they did car breakdowns, you know, their yellow vans." Beth looked quite confused.

"Not the Automobile Association, but Alcoholics Anonymous."

The light as in enlightenment shone on Beth's face, "You had me worried a minute there, Mummy, 'cos you're in the AA."

Now it was her mother's turn to blush, "Clever clogs," she retorted and they both laughed. Beth gave her a hug and then sat down opposite her on the sofa. "You're certainly more affectionate as a girl, aren't you?"

Beth looked at the carpet for a moment and smirked, "It's one of the best things about being a girl, people don't feel threatened by someone wanting to hug them - well until this stupid virus came along."

"So this more than about clothes and makeup, isn't it?"

"Looks like, doesn't it?" said Beth quietly and her eyes glistened with tears. She rose to go upstairs to avoid her mother.

"Beth please sit down, I'm trying to understand what you want and how I can help you achieve it. I'm not trying to hurt you."

"I know, Mummy, but I don't know what I want, except at this moment, I want to be a girl. I'm sorry," she ran off to her bedroom crying. Her mother felt awful especially as she couldn't think of who she could discuss her concerns with except Debbie, and her response wasn't entirely helpful.

While Beth calmed down, her mother went on the internet and called one or two helplines, the one wasn't answered but the other was and an indeterminate voice tried to answer her questions, she agreed with the person she'd spoke to, who called themselves Amber, that if beth called her in the next hour, she would talk to her and answer her queries and she also pointed out she never encouraged anyone to go beyond their level of comfort, she said it was about reassuring people that gender was a fluid thing and how they expressed it was entirely up to them and it didn't necessarily reflect upon their sexuality, though she accepted that some people did think so and a gay man might dress provocatively as a woman for sex, but most didn't and that there were as many variations as there were people, we were all different. Her mum wasn't sure if that reassured her or just opened up another can of worms.

She went and spoke to Beth who was lying on the bed having removed her makeup, her mum gave her the phone and told her if she pressed the follow on button it would call the helpline she'd called and the person she spoke to was named Amber. Beth wasn't sure she wanted to talk to a stranger about it or anyone else for that matter but she agreed to do so mainly because she was grateful for her mother's efforts to support her and she felt obliged to do so in recognition of that.

She pressed the redial button as her mother left her to it, and with a trembling voice she asked to speak to Amber. When she came down, her mother saw that Beth had refreshed her makeup and looked a little easier. "How'd it go?" asked her mum.

"Yeah," she said, "it was okay, she told me I wasn't going to explode or be kidnapped by aliens and that GCHQ won't be monitoring my phone as a known subversive."

Sometimes teen humour wasn't all that welcome by their parents and this was one such occasion, but knowing that Beth was especially vulnerable at present, her mum bit her tongue and just responded, "That's good then, what would you like for tea?"

Over their tea, Beth dropped hints about her conversation with the helpliner and that she thought that Beth might be needing to speak to someone who could help her on the next step of her transition.

"Transition?" queried her mum trying to stay calm, "you mean you want to become a girl permanently?" This was rather a large step to take and would have consequences and she felt she needed to make Beth aware of them. "We'll need to see a doctor and that's not too easy at the moment."

"I thought some of them were doing Zoom consultations," responded her daughter, "I think I could cope with that, though it's not the same as face to face, it's not as frightening either."

"Would you do that as Beth or Ben?"

"Who's Ben? she asked then smirked.

Her mother scowled at her, "If you do this remember, it will go on your record."

"Yeah, but that's gonna happen anyway," she shrugged in a very matter of fact way and took a bite of her sandwich precluding an immediate answer.

Two weeks later, wearing her makeup and her favourite dress she had a Zoom consultation with her doctor. It was too short to do very much and her doctor, a lovely woman called Dr Karen Black, asked if she'd like her to refer to the local adolescent psychiatry service, who if they deemed it advisable would refer on to a specialist gender clinic but they were very busy and actually attending the specialist clinic could take six months or more. Beth asked her to do so and then added, "because I'm not going back to being a boy, ever."

Her mother who she'd invited to sit in on the consultation gasped silently, seeing all sorts of complications but at least she now knew what her younger daughter needed her to do and as soon as Beth left the meeting, she went over and gave her a hug.

"Thanks, Mummy," she said with tears rolling down both their faces, "I hope that's okay with you?"

"If that's what you need to do, we'll make it all right, won't we?"