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Chapter 15

We arrived at Amy’s three-bedroomed flat in Battersea at about four thirty on Saturday afternoon. The driver parked in Amy’s unused parking place in the basement and began to unload the cases. Amy and I offered to carry up one of the suitcases, but he insisted that he would carry all four of them up taking two journeys. In the meanwhile, Amy showed me around. It was quite spacious and expensively furnished flat with a large living/dining room and a balcony looking out across the river Thames towards Chelsea and Victoria Station. This was one of the benefits of having a successful tv career. She took me first to the bedroom that would be mine for the next fortnight.

‘No river views, I’m afraid but there’s plenty of space for your clothes. You will be much more comfortable here than staying in my caravan or in a grotty hotel for that matter.’

There was no arguing with that. The room had a double bed, a large fitted wardrobe and chest of drawers plus a dressing table with illuminated mirrors. The soft furnishings were plush and reflected Amy’s taste rather than my own, but I was hardly going to say anything about that.

‘It is a wonderful room, thank you very much,’ I said putting down my new handbag on the dressing table.

‘Your bathroom and shower are through that door,’ she said, continuing with her tour. ‘I have en-suite facilities in my bedroom. You’ll find plenty of clean towels in the cupboard. Feel free to use any of the shampoos and skin-care products that you wish.’

‘OK if you are sure.’

‘How are you off for cosmetics?’

‘I think I’ve everything that I’m likely to need, there are the items you bought for me a fortnight ago and some products that the girls in makeup department have given to me.’

‘Alright but every month I receive a dozen or more free samples of cosmetic products of every kind. Feel free to take anything you fancy. Later we will make a list of everything you’re likely to need over the next fortnight and what decide we need to buy for you.

She took me through to the kitchen. Once again it was fitted out with cupboards and furnished with modern appliances including fridge freezer, dishwasher, food processor etc.

There’s also a washing machine in the utility room in the basement. I have a cleaner who comes in two mornings a week, but otherwise I will expect you to keep the flat tidy.”

“Yes of course. I’ve brought my tablet computer as there are plenty of advice videos on voice training on You Tube so I hope to improve my presentation.’

‘You will find the wi-fi password next to the router, and you’re welcome to borrow my laptop if you wish. However, don’t get too carried away with the exercises your voice and presentation are pretty good as they are.’

At that point the driver arrived carrying the last two suitcases, so we changed the topic of conversation. Amy gave him a respectable tip and he thanked us both and went on his way.

‘See, Nikki, I don’t think he had any doubts about your sex, or at least he certainly didn’t show them if he did.’

‘I think he was too smitten to be driving you, so he didn’t pay much attention to me.’

She smiled and decided to change the subject.

'Before we unpack our suitcases, I’ll show you how to operate the door locks and entry phone and give you a key. Also, I suggest that we walk over to the supermarket across the road to get some bread, milk, and other perishables.'

‘Alright but you must let me pay for them as my contribution’ I said.

‘And how will you do that when your bank card identifies you as Nicholas Stevens?’ she asked.

‘I can still get some cash from a cash dispenser.’

‘No. Nikki you’re my guest for the next fortnight, I’ll pay. However, I won’t object if you offer to do the cooking on those occasions when I am around.’

‘I should be very happy to do so. I’m quite used to cooking for myself.’

‘Remember that I won’t be around for all of the time and when I’m not, you’ll have to fend for yourself.

‘Don’t worry about me, Amy, I’ll have plenty to do and will also be happy to stay in and help with any clerical work you may have for me.’

‘Alright perhaps you can have a look through my fan mail if you wish but don’t spend more than a couple of hours each day; I’m not a slave driver. You should also go out and get some exercise and practice at being a girl out in public. There’s Battersea Park across the road and Ranelagh Gardens just over the river from here.’

‘Do you think I’ll be able to pass ok as a girl on my own?’

‘I don’t see why not. I suggest you stick to wearing high-heels if you go out for a walk and take care to walk putting one foot in front of the other – that will give you more of a feminine looking gait. Also, if you sit down make sure that you keep knees together. I don’t think you’ve ever been guilty of ‘manspreading’, like some guys I know, but it is not ladylike to have your legs open, especially if you are wearing a dress.’

‘Alright, but what if someone should want to talk to me?’

‘You can take one of my fashion magazines with you to read if you like. That will tend to discourage conversation. If you cannot avoid speaking, don’t be frightened of making eye-contact with them. Remember you have nice feminine looking eyes and long lashes.’

‘That’s nice of you to say so,’ I said blushing slightly.

‘Your normal speaking voice isn’t too bad, although you can work on raising the pitch and softening the tone slightly, but don’t try and speak in a falsetto voice. It will sound odd.’

‘I’ll do my best.’

It turned into a marathon shopping trip with Amy constantly adding items to the trolley, but at least I managed to stop her from buying expensive "ready meals" in favour of fresh fruit and vegetables.

‘You’re welcome to use anything that you find in the store cupboards or in the freezer,’ she said as we unloaded the shopping.’

‘OK, maybe I can fix dinner for the two of us this evening.’

‘Yes please, but I have promised my parents to spend the day with them tomorrow.’

Whilst I made us both dinner, Amy went to her room where she unpacked her suitcases. She emerged after forty-five minutes or so.

‘Nikki, I’ve been looking through my wardrobe. There are several outfits that I no longer wear, that may be alright for you to wear. Come through and have a look to see what you think.’

I did as she said. There were six or seven outfits laying on her bed including two rather pretty summer dresses a couple of skirts and pairs of ladies’ trousers. There were also a couple of pairs of shoes. Everything appeared almost new and virtually unused.

‘If you’re happy with these, we can use the dress allowance from Frank to get you one nice outfit of your choice on Monday together with some more underwear.

‘Amy, I can’t keep accepting your things, and in any event, I’ll never be able to wear all these and the ones I already have.’

‘Believe me, Nikki, I didn’t pay for most of them. Manufacturers often send their products free to celebrities in the hopes that they will be photographed wearing them. There’s plenty of room in your wardrobe, so put them in and then you can choose what to put on each morning according to your mood. That way you can choose what you want to take when we go to Hatfield and what to leave behind.’

‘Very well, I’ll move them through to my room and then the dinner should be ready.’

During the meal Amy took a call on her mobile phone. I quickly realised it was from Amy’s new boyfriend, Rob Singleton and attempted not to listen.

‘Yes, I’m back in London. I have my friend Nikki staying, the one I mentioned. She’s going to do some work for me as I no longer have Lorna available.’

There was a pause when I couldn’t hear what was being said.

‘Yes of course she’s ok, remember she’s been acting as my stand-in for the last fortnight.’

There was another pause.

‘Wait, I’ll ask her.’

She then pressed the mute button in her phone and addressed me.

‘Rob wants to take me out clubbing tomorrow night. He says he can fix you up with a blind date if you’re interested.’

‘No Amy, absolutely not. It’s all I can cope with to get used to living as a girl as it is without going out dancing with some guy.’

Amy took her finger of the mute button.

‘Sorry Rob, it’s no go, Nikki has to wash her hair, but I’ll be happy to go out with you. You can pick me up at my flat about 10.00pm tomorrow night.

I spent virtually the whole of Sunday on my own as Amy took a taxi first thing to spend the day visiting her parents in North London and wasn’t planning to return until the evening. Nevertheless, I had a good time sorting out my new wardrobe and eventually settled on wearing one of the summer dresses Amy had given to me the night before. I also had to do some handwashing as I was beginning to run out of clean underwear and made a mental note to buy myself some more tights when I next visited the supermarket. After breakfast I spent a couple of hours watching You-tube videos about female speech and general presentation including various voice exercises to improve my pitch and resonance. I even started to record my voice, so I’d be able to chart my progress each day.

I then spend the remainder of the morning dealing with Amy’s fan mail, that had arrived over the last week. Most of the letters from fans were declarations of affection or admiration, which could be acknowledged by sending a signed photograph. A few required a more personal acknowledgment, and I drafted a generic letter on her word processor which could be easily adapted for this purpose. A few told sob-stories and begged for money or for help in establishing a budding career. One or two were clearly from deranged individuals suffering from bizarre sexual perversions, others were just creepy or contained insults or threats. These were passed on to her management company to deal with. A fair number contained gifts such as soft toys (which were passed on to the local children’s hospital) makeup and other grooming products (which I might keep or ditch as I chose) and sweets (which were usually thrown away unless they were in their original sealed wrappers).

By lunch time, I felt that I’d probably done enough for one day. After making myself a bite to eat, I put on some makeup and a few items of jewellery before going for a walk in Battersea Park. It was a sunny day, so I also put on a pair of stylish sunglasses that had been sent to Amy but was on the pile of things that she did not wish to keep. As I walked in the park, I took care to remember the advice given in the You-tube videos about how to adopt a feminine gait and carry my handbag, although without making it too obvious. I noticed a few pairs of eyes turn towards me as I walked past, but I didn’t engage with them and I wasn’t aware that anybody was questioning my sex. On those occasions when there was no-one else within earshot, I even practised some of the voice exercises.

I was still not entirely used to walking in heels although I was gradually feeling them to be less of a strain on my calves. Thus, after half an hour or so, I took a seat on a park bench, taking care to smooth my dress before sitting and keep my knees together. I sat reading one of Amy’s fashion magazines but somehow feeling at ease with myself in a way that I’d never done before as Nicholas. The thought even passed through my mind that perhaps this was the way I ought to live, but I quickly dismissed it before it could take root and got up to return to Amy’s flat.

Amy returned soon after 8.00 pm and we had a coffee and sandwich together as we compared notes about what we’d both done during the day.

‘I’m glad to see that you decided to wear one of the dresses I gave you yesterday and are still taking trouble over your appearance. Also, your voice seems to have improved a little.’

‘Thanks, I’ve been doing some exercises from YouTube.’

‘Have, you been out at all today?’

‘Yes, I went for a walk in the park this afternoon.’

‘How did you get on?’

‘OK, I think. At least I wasn’t arrested as an afront to public decency.’

‘Whatever were you doing, attempting to sell your sexual favours?’

I blushed.

‘No, of course not, but I assume that anyone I come across can see through me and see that I was born a guy.’

Amy took my hand.

‘Of course, they can’t, and even if they could what business would it be of theirs?’ she said.

‘I suppose you’re right.’

‘Now I need to take a shower and get myself ready to go out. If you hear the entry phone, first check that it is Rob and if necessary, let him in.’

Rob arrived fifteen minutes early. It was the first time he had visited Amy’s flat and he had misjudged how easy it would be to find.

‘I’m still drying my hair and fixing my makeup, will you let him in and keep him occupied, Nikki. I’ll be as quick as I can.’

I did as she asked and could immediately see what it was about him that attracted her. He was six feet tall with fair hair, piercing blue eyes and a nice smile.

‘Come in and take a seat, Amy won’t be long.’

‘So, you’re Nicola, Amy’s stand in; with that hair you might even be her sister,’ he said with a smile and holding out his hand to shake mine.

I was pleased that my nail extensions and nail varnish from the previous Friday were still in excellent condition.

‘We’re not exactly sisters, but it’s surprising what camera tricks can be used to fool the viewers,’ I replied

‘Your voices are quite different though.’

‘I know, I’ve been doing some voice training exercises today and am a little hoarse, that’s why I’m not taking you up on your offer to go out clubbing.’

‘Another time, maybe, but since you will be missing all the fun, I’ve brought you a little present.’

He took out a small plastic bag containing white powder and placed it on the table in front of me.

‘You don’t waste any time,’ I thought to myself.

‘Thanks, but no thanks. I’d rather not,’ I replied in a neutral voice.

‘Go on, take it, you won’t find any better quality in London,’ he said pushing the bag further towards me.

‘No,’ I said, more emphatically. ‘What you and Amy choose to do is your business, but I don’t want to get involved.’

‘Suit yourself,’ he said picking up the bag and returning it to his coat pocket. ‘I was only trying to be friendly.’

His piercing blue eyes narrowed and appeared to bore directly into my soul.

‘Does he know all about me? Have I just made myself an enemy?’ I wondered.

At that point Amy emerged from her room looking fabulous wearing a silver sequined mini dress that displayed to perfection her bodily assets with co-ordinating shoes and clutch bag. Her arrival dispelled the slightly awkward atmosphere that had grown up between Rob and myself.

‘Wow, Amy, you look really hot in that dress,’ said Rob, not attempting to disguise his surprise and pleasure.

‘He’s right,’ I added, thinking to myself that I would never be able to wear such a dress without giving away my lack of genuine boobs.

If only I could one day look as beautiful as you do,’ I thought to myself.

Amy smiled at the compliments.

‘I expect we’ll be quite late so don’t wake me tomorrow morning,’ said Amy giving me a quick kiss on the cheek.’

‘Off you go and have a good time, together,’ I said.

‘It was nice to meet you, Nicola,’ said Rob as he shepherded her out of the front door.

I went to bed soon afterwards and quickly fell into a series of very pleasant dreams in which I was wearing beautiful clothes with immaculate hair and makeup and was admired by everyone I came across. That is until Amy’s voice intruded into my dreams and I felt the sensation of being gently shaken into wakefulness. I opened my eyes; dawn was just beginning to break; Amy was standing next to my bed, still wearing her shiny silver mini dress.

‘Nikki, wake-up! I’m going to need your help.

 

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Next week: I re-enact my role as stand-in

Thanks for the comments and corrections everyone. Feel free to keep them coming.
Louise