If you know my story, you probably know the only way I could find to survive my childhood was to disassociate. To withdraw deep within myself, become as much of an empty shell as I could.
Well, this morning I had the urge to do so again, as strongly as I have had in decades.
My best guess as to why is a combo of a massive PTSD response to a serious depressive spike, with a bit of dysphoria thrown in for good measure.
I'm hanging on, but boy could I use a break from being me . . .
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Most of us
I love seeing you post here. Thanks for putting together what it takes to make them.
You are loved. I have an infinite supply of hugs for you. Please feel free to use as many as you need.
Hang in there.
peace
Your friend
Crash
I'm sending multiple hugs as
I'm sending multiple hugs as well. I'm praying for you as always.
Hugs!
Rosemary
Me too.
Same here. In my case, not so much withdrawing into myself as going somewhere where neither I nor my world were, so I could block out any awareness of the Hell I was in 24/7. In class, I would read ahead in textbooks, because I couldn't get in trouble for having a textbook open, and reading something, anything at least occupied my mind enough to block out the "real world" and distract me from the pain.
I notice that this sort of dissociation has become my normal way of life. I don't know if it's because my life is still pretty painful, 50 years later, or if it has just become a habit, something I reflexively jump to whenever I feel any discomfort or frustration.
I hear ya, sister.
I hope your pain lessens
hugs