I’m afraid, Dave. Dave, my mind is going. I can feel it. I can feel it. My mind is going. There is no question about it. I can feel it.

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You ever have one of those days? One of those days where you can feel things slipping through the fingers of your mind? Where you can feel the wheels just spinning apart? Yeah........

“I’m afraid, Dave. Dave, my mind is going. I can feel it. I can feel it. My mind is going. There is no question about it. I can feel it.” Kubrick’s HAL said it for me....... yep Dave, I can feel it and I’m afraid.

I checked my calendar and I know it’s just my cycle - but the whole world seems to be working against me. All the little shit is getting to me, and the more that happens the more depressed I become. The beginning of the week I started three arguments over nothing, and now the past two days I have cried at least six times over literally nonsensical shit. A book I just finished had me thoroughly upset due to the way relationships fell apart and several main characters didn’t stay together - I spent hours bothered by it and yeah, ended up crying again.

I know it will pass, but for now.......

“Open the pod bay door HAL.”

Comments

Hugs..,

tmf's picture

Big Sweet Hugs...

Peace and Love tmf

Peace, Love, Freedom, Happiness
Hope & Health

It won't be a stilish marrage

crash's picture

Daisy, Daisy,
Give me your answer, do!
I'm half crazy,
All for the love of you!

We all know how that worked out for Dave in the end. I suppose that there might be worse consequences than ending up as the star child. Still it was not as if he had any choice.

If nothing else this last year has been a roller coaster. If nothing else it has taught us a lot about what we can and cannot deal with. If noting else it has taught us what we need to do if we want this all to work out.
If nothing else it has taught us that we will not make it alone.
In the end it will all work out fine. For those of us who survive.

Peace

Your friend
Crash

Being Depressed since College (at 21)...

There are good talk therapies for depression and there's always antidepressants that I've relied on since I was 27. They weren't very effective until Prozac which I started at 37. I got it together enough that I overcame my denial and headed toward GRS at 40, had it at 42.

Hugs and Bright Blessings,
Renee

I went that route decades ago.......

D. Eden's picture

And all it did was make me numb. Well, that and screw up my GI tract terribly.

Things didn’t change, nothing got better - I just couldn’t feel anything. So I quit taking them.

I never had issues coping - I only went the route of anti-depressants at the suggestion of my father-in-law, who was my physician at the time. They resolved nothing.

Years later, I finally faced my problem and who I really was. Since transitioning, my depression issues have gotten much better. Am I happy all the time? Of course not - but I am much happier than I was.

My depression is entirely cyclic and hormonal in nature.

D. Eden

Dum Vivimus, Vivamus

Dum vivimus...

I have quoted 'dum spiro, spero' more than once here. The signature on my cycle forum posts is "Mae angen arnaf i byw, a fe fydda'i"

"I have a need to live, and I am most definitely going to do that"

My initial screening, years ago, was partly to discover if I was mentally unwell, if cognitive behavioural therapy could help, and here, have a wodge of anti-depressants. I took them for long enough to understand how they took me away from myself, so I binned them. Transition was, and remains, the real answer, and I have never looked back.

Real life has bumpy stretches. Finding your own self eases a lot of those. Everything else is just windoe-dressing.