Chapter 4

I was in a dream, I knew it was a dream as I was floating but my body was on fire. I felt no pain, just every nerve ending was screaming. There were also sounds of speaking in my head, strange words that my dreaming brain made no sense of.

Then I was still, no longer floating and no longer burning, but the words kept coming and I resigned myself to them. When the words stopped there was silence before the soothing music began. I could tell that there were words to this music and my dream-self sang along with them, even if I did not understand what they said. Much later, or so it seemed, I could hear a regular beeping sound and my brain shot to a sketch about the machines that go ping. I wondered if I was the woman in that sketch who was in labour. I finally opened my eyes and looked up at a white ceiling and there was, indeed, a machine beside me that went ping at regular intervals. After a few minutes of just lying there I tried to move my right arm and there was a sudden beep-beeping sound from somewhere and then a face appeared above me and a kindly voice said “Thank God, you have woken up at last. Just lie still, my dear, and I will get the doctor for you.”

When the doctors’ face appeared he looked relieved that I could see him. He told me to follow his finger and I moved my eyes about to his satisfaction. The nurse gave me a drink from a baby bottle while he looked at the machines, no doubt checking all of my vital signs and then said “Well young lady, you have given everyone a bit of worry over the past couple of weeks but it looks like you have turned the corner. What do you remember about your accident?” I thought hard and then said “Nothing.” He then asked what about the time before the accident and again I had to reply “Nothing” “Right” he said “we have amnesia here and we need to find out how far it goes.” He then proceeded to ask me about the country, the year, the political scene, the pop charts and almost everything under the sun. We discovered that I knew where I was, roughly when I was, and the general things that went on outside this room. The only thing I couldn’t remember was who I was and how I got here.

Finally, he sat back and said “The name on this chart is Bethany Geraldine David. Does that ring a bell?” I gave it some thought and agreed that there was something there that seemed familiar. I did agree on my date of birth but when he told me that I was in this bed because of an accident at a fashion shoot I was so shocked I cried out “You just have to be joking!”

“No, I am not” he told me “you were at your first shoot when a lighting boom fell on your head, knocking you out. When you were unable to be brought round they took you to a hospital where it was found that you had swelling happening on the brain. They kept you stabilised but you were in a coma until this morning. Well, actually, they thought that you may be coming up as there were signs of normal brain activity so they shipped you here to this hospital so you could be near your friends when you came around. They have been notified and I expect to see them soon as, at least one of them has been with you every day you have been here.”

Friends!!! I have friends! Well, I will just have to see who they are and whether I like them in the future. The doctor then told me that I may be able to leave the hospital in about a week if I can force my limbs to operate normally. He ordered the nurse to take me off the machines and get me to the stage where I can get out of bed and then he left me to suffer the indignities of having various tubes removed from my body.

When the machines were wheeled away and I was able to move without setting off alarms, the nurse helped me to sit up in bed and I looked around the room. I was obviously in a private room in a hospital and I asked the nurse which hospital it was. She told me that I was in the Royal London and not far from my home in Barnes Street. I was learning more about myself with every passing minute. I was given some time to rest and reflect on my situation when the door burst open and a girl rushed in and gave me a big hug. “Oh Beth” she cried “we never thought you would come round, how are you feeling?” I said that I was as well as could be expected seeing that I had only been born for a couple of hours. She exclaimed “What! You are grown up already!” I took her hand and explained that the doctor thought I had amnesia as I found it difficult to remember who I was and how I came to be in here.

I said, gently, that I did not know her at all, no matter how well she knew me. “Oh, Beth” she cried “I am Julia Binks, your best friend since we started sharing the flat. We work at the same office here in London; or did. They could not do without you any longer and laid you off when the sick leave expired. They did, however, give you a decent payout which was put into your bank account.” She leaned over me and pulled a Get Well card from the shelf behind me and I saw it had been signed by a bunch of people I have never heard of. I asked her what I did and she told me I had been a secretary to a finance manager and she worked in the trading section. She then told me that Ritchie, our friend, had got me to do an interview for a modelling agency and it was at the first shoot that my accident happened. She looked on my head and ran her fingers over the scar, saying “at least it doesn’t show now, it must have been horrible at the time but the couple of months you have been asleep has allowed it to heal nicely.” I ran my own fingers over the scar and could count the stitches with my finger.

She looked at me and told me that my hair had grown nicely since I had been in hospital and ordered me not to cut it short again as the longer look suited me better. She also decided that, at the first opportunity, I was well due for a facial and manicure. We chatted a bit and she told me some of what she had been doing and then I became quite tired and she went, saying “I’ll bring you in some decent stuff to wear from your room, that hospital gown looks just terrible on you.” For the moment, I couldn’t see anything wrong with it but, there again, who am I to say what suited me, and I had not had a chance to see what I looked like yet. I went off to a natural sleep, on my side, for the first time in ages.

When I woke up I needed a pee, so I pulled the bedcover back and tried to swing my legs out, finding that I was having great difficulty moving them. I pressed the call button and a nurse came in and ordered me back into bed and gave me a bottle thing to pee in. That was a relief! She told me that I was going to see the physiotherapist this morning and I needed to get my legs working properly. She told me I was lucky I didn’t actually try to walk as she would have needed help to get me off the floor. After a light breakfast I had my session with the physio, doing leg bends, stretches and lifts until I could do no more. I also had to do arm lifts and squeezing a soft ball to get my hands working again. I had a second session after lunch and it all seemed a bit easier. Julia came in that evening and I was changed into a soft nightie and she took a brush to my hair.

The next day I was taken to the exercise room and was able to totter a few steps in the parallel bars as well as lift weights while sitting in my wheelchair. I was told I was doing very well and, as a reward, two nurses helped me have a wonderful shower and hair wash. It made me feel much better and I slept like a baby that night after Julia had brought in a clean nightie and some clothes for me to wear when I was discharged.

The day after that I walked without holding on to the bars and everyone clapped. I was told that I would be allowed to go home in a few more days, at this rate. Home, now that’s a thought, I wonder what it looks like. When Julia came in that evening she told me that she had arranged a session with the hospital salon on the next afternoon and that I was certain to feel human after that.

The next day I was able to walk unaided for about ten minutes in the morning session and the afternoon one saw me able to sit down and get up from a chair unaided. I was given a shower after that session and taken down to the salon for my make-over. It was very relaxing to be given a proper hair wash and style, as well as having my finger and toenails properly looked after. I had the feeling that it had been a long time since I had been pampered like this but I was not complaining. When they had finished I had my first good look at myself in the mirror and a quite pretty girl looked back at me. She had a slightly angular face and her hair was now in a very feminine style that reached down past her ears, which, I noted, had a couple of holes in each side. I had the immediate thought that I had seen her before so was satisfied that she was me.

Over the next couple of days I reached the point where I did not need the wheelchair and was able to look after myself. Julia had brought in a fluffy gown with matching slippers and I was able to move around the hospital quite freely, getting as much exercise in as I could. She told me that Ritchie would pick me up on my discharge day as she could not take time off her work. When that day arrived I was given a full check by the doctor who pronounced me as fully fit to leave. I was able to change into my going out wear, with a help from the nurse and found myself in a long dress and flats as I had been told that heels will need some practice as I had not worn them for a long time. The nurse also helped me to put on my make-up as I had got out of practice with that as well.

When I looked at myself in the mirror I had the thought that I certainly was model stock with my height and looks and then a thought struck me – I wonder what Gwen would think of me now?

Marianne G 2020