Terry walks into a bar...

Terry walks into a bar and orders a glass of Leibfraumorgen.

Hey, with a name like Volkirch, it makes sense that he would order a German wine.

Anyhow, a pretty young girl catches his eye. He isn't one to think evil thoughts, but this girl is really, really hot.

As he's undressing her with his eyes and absent-mindedly (he does lots of things absent-mindedly, being a genius) rubbing the stem of his wine glass, a genie appears.

"Yah, yah, I know. You expected an oil lamp or a bottle or something, but we're starting to branch out, ya know," sayeth the genie. "I've already set up the billions of bucks and the eternal health (you humans are so predictable,) so what's your third wish?"

A slightly inebriated Terry points at the girl and says, "I want her body."

Allright, this is a TG fiction site. Do I really need to finish this?

Tell ya what. The unofficial Ray Drouillard challenge is to finish this story.

Ray Drouillard

Kudos

Comments

I Had to Open My Big Mouth

Oh! You! (I seem to be saying that a lot lately)

First of all, I don't drink alcohol except at special occasions like weddings.

Secondly, you misspelled my last name!

Thirdly, I'm upset because you made me read a drabble. I don't read drabbles! Really! They're too short. I'm sorry but you'll have to extend this yourself. No pushing it off on someone else. :p

Last but not least, my girlfriend will most likely not be happy with this. Are you trying to get me in trouble? Wah!!

I will get you Ray ... and your little dog too.

- Terry

but Terry ...

... this isn't a drabble. Even without a punch line, it is already 38 words too long to qualify as a drabble, which must be exactly 100 words.

One of the most difficult things to give away is kindness.
It usually comes back to you.

Holly

One of the most difficult things to give away is kindness.
It usually comes back to you.

Holly

Yeah, but ....

There's a tilda with the drabble category. The tilda denotes approximation.

Come on, folks. Am I being too literal here? Have you completely missed the injustices heaped upon me?

I say we storm Ray's castle and give him what for. I'll get the torches. You get the pitchforks. It's a dirty job but someone's gotta do it. ;)

- Terry

Castle

I don't know about you, but if Ray is the type of person to own a castle, I think I'll be trying to stay on his good side instead of attempting to lynch him. :)

Hugs,

Kimby

Hugs,

Kimby

My little dog?

I don't have a little dog. There are three dogs here, one of which is little, and none of which are mine.

I do have several cats, but I don't think you want to tangle with them.

Ray

Oh, God! Tongue-in-cheek,

Oh, God! Tongue-in-cheek, everybody is guilty of it. Thank goodness it's between friends.

Hey Erin, would tongue-in-cheek/satiric stories make a contest? Xmas is coming.

I am a grain of sand on a near beach; a nova in the sky, distant and long.
In my footprints wash the sea; from my hands flow our universe.
Fact and fiction sing a legendary song.
Trickster/Creator are its divine verse.
--Old Man CoyotePuma

Leibfraumorgen????

You seem to have created a new word, Ray.

I frequently worked in Germany in my journalist days but never came across Leibfraumorgen. Liebfraumilch, yes (occasionally only because the German name most commonly used for the wine we call Liebfraumilch in UK is Rheinhessen.

So I Googled Leibfraumorgen and got one response onlyâ€”our story, Ray.

You're going to be famous, Ray. (although I'm not quite sure what "Love wife morning" could be.)

Hugs,

Gabi

Gabi.

â€œIt is hard for a woman to define her feelings in language which is chiefly made by men to express theirs.â€ Thomas Hardyâ€”Far from the Madding Crowd.

Leib vs. Liebe

Hey Gabi,

There is one of those nits I sometimes need to pick.

Liebe is love, Leib is body. FYI you know, awww, DAMN IT I just broke my own rule, now what will become of me?

Thanks for letting me pick your nits.

with love,

Hope

with love,

Hope

Once in a while I bare my soul, more often my soles bear me.

Lieb and Leib

We, as a family have lived in Germany (aas well as Holland) in recent years and I can confirm what Gabi says about Lieb. Check an on-line (or other) German-English dictionary and you will find neither Liebfraumilch OR LEIBfraumorgen.

You, Hope, are correct that Leib means "body", but lieb means "dear", "darling", "love" etc as a term of endearment.

Hilary

Leibfraumorgen

Leibfraumorgen is a white wine made in the Rhine valley (and perhaps other places.) The word translates to 'Morning of Our Lady.' (Leibfraumilch translates to 'Milk of Our Lady,' by the way.)

It can be found in the states, but it isn't as common as Leibfraumilch. I purchased a few bottles a number of years ago in Frankenmuth (Michigan's Little Bavaria.)

Ray Drouillard

I before E in Rheinhessens

You have the vowels reversed, Ray. It is Liebfraumorgan, which is usually translated 'Morning of Our Lady' (Liebfraumilch is 'Milk of Our Lady'). Our Lady's being a church near the vineyard. It is a Rheinhessen, produced near Worms, a town famous for a diet, like Scarsdale and South Beach. I haven't tried the diet, but just the name makes me loss my appetite.

Take care, Captain. Love ya!

- Terry

Corrections

Better late than never, I always say. ;-)

That Dougnut Shop

... in a Beatle Bailey strip, that Beatle and Sarge visit.

The Proprietor: "I get more customers now ever since I removed the `h'."

-- Daphne Xu

Leaving the end...

... to our imagination? A stealth punch line?

And was Leibfraumorgen a Meaningful Name? "Love woman tomorrow"?

-- Daphne Xu

Regarding "Leib"

I guess I have to say, "Oops."

There, done. (I said it in private.)

-- Daphne Xu

I accept that challenge ...

I accept that challenge. Now let's see ...

A slightly inebriated Terry points at the girl and says, "I want her body."

The genie shrugged and walked over to the girl. With a wack and a sickening crunch, the genie caved in her skull.
Lifting the body up he dragged it to a shocked and terrified Terry and dumped the body at his feet.

"There you have it," the genie said. "Her body. You humans are really sick beings you know that, right?"

Before Terry could reply the genie vanished in a puff of smoke.

The end.

Was it this you have been looking for? Oh, wait! I forgot it was supposed to be a TG story. My bad. Sorry.