To Not Let Go

Chapter 3.3

Paula and I were quickly separated again. I was taken into an outbuilding behind the palace. I have no idea where they took Paula or if I would ever see her again.

I was locked in a stable once again, as a pony. This time, all I got was hay and disgusting water. I had no time to get out of the stall and move around. Nobody talked to me. In fact, I saw no one except the person who brought me the hay and water.

The bit was left in my mouth as well, so I had to try to eat around it, which was not easy. It was nineteen days until someone came in and let me out of the stall. I was walked into another building, which felt like a chamber of horrors.

I watched, thunderstruck, as a woman I knew walked in, disrobed, put on some leather catsuit, and positioned herself to be bolted into a chandelier. I saw that there would be one spot left, which I assumed was for me when she was 'installed.'

I could quickly run, but I had no way of removing the metal corset or the hoof boots I was wearing, let alone the bit and bridle.

I knew if I escaped, someone would find me and bring me back. I was a captive animal. At least until I had more flexibility.

I waited for several minutes while the corset was removed from my body and arms. I felt an enormous pain where the bolts had gripped gone through my arms, and I smelled burning flesh. I was reeling from the cauterization, but I had no time to waste.. My arms were like rubber and virtually useless, but I knew they would be repaired by my bots in a few hours.

My legs, however, were entirely different. They were still fit, and I had the hoof boots on. John and I had developed a fighting style that we used to hone our skills and strength. I kicked behind me at what I estimated would be the right height for male genitalia. I felt the connection, then spun around, using my other leg to take out the person on my right. I landed in a crouch as the third man tried to grab one of my useless, flapping arms, but he left his rib-cage exposed. I still had that silly helmet with the red plumes on my head. When the spike that the plumes were fixed to hit his chest, I heard a rib crack, then felt a warm fluid spray onto me.

I knew I had probably killed him, as the spray probably came directly from his heart. The bots couldn’t fix that wound before he died.

As I was running out, I wondered if his death bots would be like other ones, and trigger some program changes.

I didn't know where to go, so I went into the barn and hid behind some haystacks. I was worried that my escape might affect the others, but if I had been put in that chandelier, I might have been there forever.

That being said, I was anxious about everyone. Paula was especially vulnerable.

I heard people yelling, and someone running by outside the barn. It was quiet for a while, and then I heard someone calling my name. I almost responded when I realized that I wasn’t one of my team.

“Rose! The Emperor has your friends in the palace. If you don’t come out, they will die!”

I tried to flex my fingers, and amazingly, I could move them. They were still somewhat numb, but at least my arms wouldn’t flap uselessly at my sides.

I reached up and, after several tries, found the buckle for the halter and bridle. Gratefully I took them off and threw them to the floor.

It felt so good to be able to remove them myself rather than waiting for someone else to do it. I didn’t have the tools to remove the boots, but I reasoned that I had been trained to run in them, and they could be used as formidable weapons.

For the first time in who knew how long, I felt exposed in my nakedness. I stood up carefully and stepped out of the building. A guard spotted me almost immediately and came running. My arms weren't strong enough to fight with yet, so I resorted to hooves. I hit him hard, and I'm afraid the horseshoe built onto the bottom injured him severely.

Two more guards started toward me, and I think I surprised them by running at them. When I estimated I was close enough, I jumped, catching both of them in the throat with my feet. They went down hard. As I was picking myself off the ground, I felt someone grab my arm. It was Hal!

“Are you really Rose Carlson?” he asked me.

I didn’t know what to say, but I was tired of all this. I nodded while preparing to fight.

“Come on! We haven’t any time to waste!”

He started running, holding my arm, but I faltered. He stopped and told me, “Fine. You need to come, but do it willingly.”

“Where are we going?” I asked. “Back to your stable?”

“To rescue the others.” He started running toward the palace again, this time without pulling me.

What the hell, I thought, and followed him.

We stopped at a side door, and I watched as he carefully opened a door. “The guards don’t know how to think for themselves anymore. They’re almost as dumb as the women that I care for.”

“What is going on?” I demanded.

“Rose, we don’t have time. I’ll explain everything as soon as we rescue the others, I promise.”

I sighed but followed him into the building. I didn't like the situation, but I was prepared if something went wrong.

We wound through the building, and eventually went up some stairs and came to an opening. I could hear Amos speaking, then another voice. It was John!

Hal grabbed my arm. “Please trust me.”

“For the moment,” I told him.

He nodded. “Good enough.” He took my arm and told me, “Just go with it.”

He led me out of our hiding place and tensed his hand muscles, so it appeared that he had a tight grip. "I found this pony, my Lord."

Amos turned to look at us. “And what were you doing on the grounds?” he asked accusingly. “Guards!”

“Oh well," Hal said as he let go of my arm. He grabbed a spear from one of the centurions who still hadn't figured out what was going on and used the butt end to hit him between the legs. I, meanwhile, had rushed to the throne with a sword. I grabbed Amos by the shirt front, and happily, my arms were working now. I stood him up and prepared to separate his head from his body.

“Rose, No!” It was John, who ran up behind me and grabbed it before I could swing.

“Right,” I said. “This is Marc’s job.”

“It's no ones right now," Marc said as he walked up behind John. I looked around and saw that all the guards had been taken care of. They were simply too slow-witted and clumsy—no match for men who had survived in the circus.

“What do you mean?” I asked Marc.

Hal walked up and said, “We need his knowledge to restore the rest of the people.”

I released my grip on the sword, and John took it away from me. I started to shake, probably going into shock. If John hadn't stopped me, we could very well have lost any way of turning people back.

“You should have let her,” Amos said.

“And lose your knowledge?” Bob asked. “Not likely!”

“But you see, little child, I’m not really here.” His body started to change. He became a man that I found vaguely familiar, then his head separated from his body and fell to the floor.

I still had hold of his shirt, but I promptly released my grip. I felt like throwing up, but John turned me to the door. “Come on, Hal,” he yelled.

“I can’t! I have to care for the women at my ranch!”

John stopped. "You've been seen here. These people might be slow-witted, but they'll be able to recognize you."

Then Hal did something I hated but understood. He took the spear and put it through the heart of every guard in the room. "There lives as payment for the safety of the women in my care."

I was in shock, and I saw that Marc was green as well. John grabbed our arms, and we ran like hell.

We left the throne room, heading toward the door, but Marc turned right. He charged a guard with his head down and hit the man in the chest. With a whooshing sound, the air left the mans lungs, and he fell, gasping for breath. Without even seeming to pause, Marc grabbed the man’s spear and thrust it into his right chest.

“I hope you don't have dextrocardia," he said just before he ran to a statue. I knew it was a real woman, but she was covered with a form-fitting blue velvet fabric.

“Bob!” Marc yelled as he reached behind the woman and appeared to rip something from her body. “It’s Paula! Come on!”

Bob grabbed her feet, and Marc her legs, and we went in search of a place to hide until it was dark.

We had found a storeroom in some kind of temple and were trying to be quiet.

The men were attempting to free Paula, but it was proving difficult. The material looked like velvet but didn't want to rip. The position she was in made it difficult, but they finally turned her onto her side. The seam was tiny, but I saw finally found it. I carefully inserted a knife underneath the threads and started slicing them one by one.

It took over an hour, but eventually, I had the covering opened from her head to her backside. I pulled it off her face, but we found another problem. It looked like she was encased in some kind of lightweight metal. I started working on her left arm, and John started on her right.

It took nearly an hour, but we had her free of the material. But, now we had the metal to worry about. Again, I looked for a seam, but even if I found one, I didn't see how I could get it off of her. I was going to need a saw for this.

I finally found a seam starting at her wrist and going to her shoulder. There was a seam going all the way around her wrist as well. I took her hand and wiggled it back and forth. A moment later, it came loose in my grasp.

I screamed and dropped it! John quickly put his hand over my mouth to silence me. He was looking at the hand with revulsion as well. The arm, metal had slid out of the shoulders, and we could see her arm, just without a hand.

Without the arms there, several more seams became apparent. There were catches that the arm pieces hooked onto, which allowed the torso to come loose. Once that was off, we were able to release Paula's head and legs.

She was awake and gave me a huge hug, then I gently pulled out the feeding and waste tubes.

She tried to talk, but her throat was too dry. I hurried over to a janitorial sink. There wasn’t anything to put water in, so I asked John to turn on the cold water.

I did my best not to spill the water as I moved to my sister. She was still weak, and the hug had sapped her strength. Marc helped her lift her head, and I trickled the water into her mouth. It took a couple of times to get her enough water. Despite my best efforts, I spilled plenty.

She would need food for her bots to manufacture new hands for her, but at least we had her alive.

Late that night, we made our way to the corridors, which would take us upstairs to our own side of the ship. They were unguarded. We slipped in and cautiously made our way past the J tubes for the command level, then on to the sealed doors into our ring. Marc punched in the access code and turned the wheel. We could hear the seal release, and then it was open. We stepped through.

I was in the hospital, with my feet freshly removed from my hoof boots, when Rashda came by. He and John sat down by my bed, and we discussed things. Apparently, we had been gone for almost six months. I had known I had been a pony for a long time, but that just sounded impossible.

“You were starting to believe that you’d always been one, Rose,” John gently reminded me.

“I wasn’t starting to, John. I had gotten to where I completely believed it. The only thing keeping me halfway sane was the fact that Hal called me Rose.”

“Why is that?” Rashda asked.

“Something clicked whenever he did. It was like a feeling that not everything was right.”

“That’s probably why Hal called you that. So you had something to hold onto during the time.”

“If he wanted to give me something to hold onto, why was there any time as a pony at all?” I knew my voice was rising, but at the moment, I really didn’t care..

The fact that I’d been brainwashed into thinking I was a pony made me think of the other women in that stable. Perhaps Hal was benevolent, but he was still keeping women against their will.

I said as much to Rashda.

“What will do they have?” He asked. “They don’t know any better. From what you and John have told me, they have no idea that they are not what they have always been.”

I suddenly remembered Belinda, Rashda’s wife. She was there, in that stable as well. I wondered what he would think of that.

We talked about more things that happened, and then Rashda surprised me by saying that as soon as I was up and around, he was returning command to me. What?

“I don’t think so, Rashda,” I objected.

“Why not,” he asked me.

“For six months, I’ve been a pony, and you think I’m ready to go back to command?”

“We’ll see.”

That night, I had a terrible dream.

I was once again in my tack, unable to move my arms, and fastened to a hitching post. John was standing just a few feet away, negotiating a price with someone who was hidden in shadows.

I couldn’t see who it was, but the voice was a man’s. After a few minutes, I heard John tell him, “That sounds acceptable.” He turned away from the person, patted my cheek, said, “Bye, Rosie,” and walked away.

The person moved out of the shadows, and it was Kari! As she moved toward me, her skin seemed to slough off, and it became Amos!

I jerked awake, screaming. John was sitting beside me, and pulled me over to him. I pushed him away. “What’s wrong, Rosie?”

“No!” I yelled. “Don’t call me that!”

He backed up, a shocked look on his face.

“I’m sorry,” I told him. “I just had a nightma… a horrible dream.”

He sat for a moment. “I think I understand.” He held out his arms, without touching me, and he had a questioning look on his face.

I nodded, and he lowered the rail on the side of the bed, and sat down. He pulled me close, and this time, though I flinched at first, I was able to snuggle in.

I fell asleep sometime later, and I awoke with my head laying on his chest. He had leaned back, and his legs and neck had to have been killing him, because he hadn’t really moved from his seated position, but was fast asleep.

“John,” I said, shaking him gently.

“Wha…?” He looked around, and then sat up. I could hear his back cracking as he did. “That’s gonna leave a mark,” He joked.

“I’m not done sleeping, John, but I seem to feel a lot better with you to hold onto. Would you mind…” I gave him the best doe eyes I could.

“Move over,” he told me with a grin. I was happy to, but I gasped when I did. For some reason, my arms and feet were still sore. I’d have to talk to Dr. Jack or Sylvia about it in the morning. “Still sore?” He asked me.

“Yeah. It’s strange. I’d have thought the bots would have fixed everything by now.”

He reached over and pushed the button to call one of the doctors.

Sylvia came in, and I explained the situation to her.

She nodded gravely. “John, I’m sorry to ask, but can you move to the chair for a few minutes?”

John complied, with a worried look on his face. I know mine had to have mirrored his. What was going on?

She uncovered my arms and peeled back the bandages. She grimaced and shook her head slightly.

“Doc?” John asked her.

She sighed. “I wasn’t sure what was going to happen here, so I didn’t say anything.”

Now, I was really getting scared. For her to not say anything to me about something, it had to be bad.

She uncovered my feet and legs, then removed the bandages. She winced, then said. “I’m going to get Jack. Just relax, okay?”

“Uh… Okay. Easy for you to say,” I told her.

She hurried out, and John got up and took a look at the wounds. He stared for a long moment, then sat down without a word.

“What is it?” I asked him.

“I don’t know, Hon,” he told me. “Medicine isn’t my specialty.”

“But it isn’t healing, obviously.”

He shook his head.

“Does it look like anything has healed there?”

“I don’t know.”

I moved my feet a bit, and the pain returned, bringing tears to my eyes. I tried to keep a good face on it and said, “I won’t be doing that again.” I tried to laugh a bit, but it came out more of a gasp.

Jack and Sylvia entered the room. Jack did a very thorough inspection of my feet and legs, even touching one of the wounds.

“Uh, Doctor,” I said through gritted teeth. “Please don’t do that again.”

Sylvia had been working on a tablet, and she looked up when I said it. “It shouldn’t take me long, Dear,” she told Jack. “I’ll be back pretty quick.”

John looked at Jack quizzically. “Where’s she going?”

“She’s a wiz in the lab, John. We’re going to make some good, old fashioned, acetaminophen for you, Rose.”

“What’s that?” John asked, suspiciously. He was always very protective of me. He had been as a child, and nothing had changed in the millennium plus that we’d been married.

“It’s a drug that reduces pain and swelling. We’ve just never needed it with the bots.”

“So why do you need it now?”

“There’s something wrong with Rose’ bots. They’re numbers are shrinking.”

I felt my stomach go cold. Without them, I wouldn’t have any immune system. I said as much to Jack.

“Well, Rose, you’re in luck there. The bots are quite powerful, and we have a feeling that any disease aboard the ship has been eradicated a long time ago.”

“What about….” John paused searching for the word. “What did they call it. An infraction?”

Jack chuckled. “No. I think you mean an infection. We’re working on that.”

“We’ve got to keep the wounds clean, and reduce contamination.”

"Why are my bots disappearing?” I wanted to know.

Jack sighed. “If your bots were eradicated, a new supply, resonating on a different frequency could be put in their place.”

“And I could be controlled again,” I finished.

Jack just nodded.

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I'd like to give a special thanks to Malady and Monica Rose for helping with beta reading. :-)