The first version was chopped up into too many pieces (loosing continuity as we hit 'next). In the revised version, my sense was "this needs to be two chapters", but I don't know where the break would go.

The 'truck out of nowhere' that almost killed Mark and Allison. was that 'true random', or Allison's attacker? (if attacker, then Crown case would be much different - vehicular homicide.)

Just before first mall visit, Allison's (new) Mom gives >back< Allison's cell phone. So a hint of detention or grounding (doesn't fit)? Maybe just "get" the cell, as it was tucked away to shield Allison until healthier?

Not sure what Tim (Tina's) testimony was. Had Tim made a bad choice to confide in attacker, or s/he 'got caught' dressing up (theater class would have wardrobe), and then abused or blackmailed? Attacker boasting of criminal misdeeds to Tim would just be (in USA) hearsay evidence.

A constant tension of not knowing, of some (or a lot) of fear, of not quite remembering, works very well for showing us how Mark, now Allison feels, making his/her way about in 'uncharted territory'.

The dreams (Mark/Allison'), Mark's Mom's, and Tim's work (of course) to tie things together and help them all (including readers) make sense of things.

Allison's spirit was crazy busy, keeping Mark's dying body going, while arranging (being?) all those dreams ...

Perhaps we readers will have to be OK with a few loose ends (that's how Life works...), but with knowing everything is working out very, very, well.
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I very much liked both versions. "Happy sniffles" all along through.