All the work I post here is in its first draft format. I do this so that you can still read what I'm writing and so you have a reason to buy my books when they are edited and published, alongside supporting me as a person of course.

***
I swiped on my mother's name in my address book. I stared at myself in the mirror as the phone rang and shakily rubbed a finger on my cheeks where my makeup was ruined.

“Rairy?” Mom said immediately.

“M-mom? I—,” suddenly my voice broke and I started crying again.

“What’s wrong?”

There was a sense of urgency in her voice that made it hard for me to reply.

I sniffed trying to clear my nose. I finally replied, “T-they let him back in.”

“Let who back in?”

“Howard, he’s back in school.”

“I know.”

“You KNOW!? What do you mean you know!?”

She didn’t answer.

“I have classes with him, Mom!”

No response.

“He put me in the hospital!”

“Don’t over reac—”

“You think I’m overreacting?!” I smashed my fist into the paper towel dispenser and the ring of metal rang throughout the bathroom.

“Rairy, calm down.”

“Calm down?! Calm down?! You want me to calm down?!” I threw my phone at the wall and it shattered, scattering its pieces all over the bathroom.

***
A rapping at the bathroom door brought me back to reality causing me to involuntarily jump.

“Rairy?” came from beyond the door in a muffled tone.

I pulled my legs closer to my chest, hugging them.

“I just want to know you’re okay.”

“I’m fine!”

Pause.

“I don’t believe you, Rairy.”

I slowly closed my eyes and began to shake.

“Can you unlock the door?”

It was the school nurse on the other side of the door. Her name was Jennie Miller she preferred being called Mrs. Jen. Last year, after I had been on hormones for about six month’s my appearance started causing problems in the boy’s bathroom. I was a freshman at the time so I was pretty new to the school. Of course, I was called into Mr. Kendrick’s office. Mrs. Jen happened to be in the office when I was talking to him and she overheard our conversation. She was the one who suggested I start using the nurses’ bathroom.

“It’s just me, Mrs. Jen, Rairy.”

I took a deep breath, wiped my cheeks off, I leaned into the wall slowly lifted my body, unlocked the door, and slowly lowered myself back to the floor.

The door creaked open and Mrs. Jen quickly scanned the room until her eyes fell on me. Her mouth fell open and then she quickly closed it.
She gave the room a second look and she saw my phone or what was left of it.

She turned to me and asked, “What happened there?”

I met her eyes and started crying again.

***
As I cried into Mrs. Jen’s shoulder and she put her hand on mine. It was comforting. She had joined me on the bathroom floor.

Why the hell did my life have to be so fucked up? Did I deserve this?

No. I didn’t deserve this. *Then why the hell does everyone treat me like crap?* Duh, because you’re transgender. I hated that people only saw that about me. It’s not like it’s something I could control. I didn’t want to be transgender. I wouldn’t wish this on my worst enemy. *Maybe Howard.*

The thought of Howard in a dress made me involuntarily laugh.

“You okay?” Mrs. Jen asked as she rubbed my hand.

I shook my head, took in a shaky breath, and moved my body closer to hers.

*At least she’s nice to me.* Besides Mrs. Jen, I really only had Becks as a friend. Sure mom helped me get my provisional driver’s license and got my transition on its way but she wanted me to watch the kids so often that I didn’t get much time to myself. While Becks was off partying with friends I was stuck at home watching the kids.

The other foster parents treated me like shit though. At least I used to be able to spend time with Becks back then. I remembered the bruises.

*Fuck the bruises and those assholes bullshit!*

I pulled in another deep breath and it was much more steady this time around.

“Feeling better?”

*Fuck.*

“A little.”

I wondered how I was going to handle this. Mom had already talked to the police. *Why not talk to them yourself?* Now that was a thought.

Would they even listen to a minor? Only one way to find out.

Mrs. Jen patted my hand and held it for a moment before saying, “Can I help you up?”

I nodded, she stood up and reached for my hands.

***
Mrs. Jen had me sit down in one of the nurses’ office chairs as she cleaned up the bathroom.

She returned with a plastic baggie filled with the scattered remains of what used to be my phone. It was one of the free phones you get with your phone plan so it wasn’t a huge loss. Mom was gonna be pissed though.

She handed me the baggy and said, “I wouldn’t open that.”

I took a closer look and saw a small amount of yellow-tinted liquid built up on the bottom of the baggie.

“Ewww,” I said. The outside of the baggie was wet so I dropped it. I immediately got up and wanted to wash my hands.

Mrs. Jen rushed over to one of the cabinets. “Let me get a second baggie for that just in case it leaks.”

She delicately reached her hand into the cabinet and pulled out another baggie.

“I cleaned off the bag in the sink is why it’s so wet.” She opened the new baggie and put the wet one on the ground in it.

I was stuck in place shaking my hands. I couldn’t get the thought out of my head.

“Want to wash your hands?”

I furiously nodded.

“Go ahead.”

I limped over to her sink, squirted some soap onto my hands, and began scrubbing.

“You should probably wash your clothes when you get home too.”

I eventually finished scrubbing my hands, rinsed them off, and dried them.

“Rairy.” She said and then took in a deep breath. “I know what happened.” She walked over and put a hand on my shoulder. “I was there when the ambulance got there and saw what he did to you.”

I turned around and yelled, “He should be in jail!”

“I know, I know!”

Tears started building up in my eyes as I asked, “Why... isn’t he in jail?”

“His Famil—” She shook her head, “No, I’ve said too much already.”

I didn’t know much about Howard other than how much of an asshole he was.

“His Family?” I asked.

“Do you know his last name?”

“Daniels?”

“Look them up.” She walked over to her desk, scribbled on a small paper, and ripped it off. “Here, take this. You can go home early.”

It was a note so I could get past the security guard to get to mom’s car.

She looked me in the eyes and said, “Be careful.”

***
Most influential family in my county google said.

Shit.

I had forgone going home and went to the library. Mom was probably going to be pissed and I was likely going to be grounded so the library was my only real option when it came to internet access.

Why did I have to break my phone?

I closed out the browser and logged out of the computer.

*Where to next, genius?*

***
I stared at myself in the rearview mirror as I wiped off my makeup. I figured the police might have more sympathy for me if the bruises were visible.

***
The lady at the front desk was staring at me as I slowly limped up to her.

As soon as I got up to her I could hear her say, “Oh my god.” under her breath. She then asked, “Sweetie what happened?”

“A kid attacked me at school a few weeks ago.” A flash of Howard kicking me in the chest seared its way through my brain and I began crying. “I want to press c-charges.”

She was mute for a moment and suddenly a man appeared behind her and said, “Joan, I’ve got this one.”

A police officer came through the door that was splitting the lobby from the rest of the station. He stuffed something into his pocket as he walked over to me. He didn’t have his badge on so I didn’t get his badge number.

“Rairy?” He asked.

“Y-yeah?”

“Have a seat over here so we can talk.”

He led me over to one of the chairs in the lobby and gestured at it. I sat down and he sat down next to me.

“How do you know who I am?”

“Well, your foster mother already came by to file charges. She had pictures of you.”

“So is the case ongoing or what?”

He got quiet when he said, “I can’t talk with you about it, you need to talk to your mother.”

“I—”

“Did you drive here?”

I nodded.

“Can you drive?”

I nodded again.

“Would you like help out to your car?”

“He’s gonna do it again!”

“Here let me help you outside.”

He grabbed my arm and squeezed it, hard. I got up.

***
*What the fuck just happened?*

I couldn’t stop crying.

The police officer led me to my car and stood there watching as I pulled out. I couldn’t think of anywhere else to go but home.

***

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