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I've had a dream, a very vivid, and erotic, and at times, impossibly lewd one. It was so clear that when I wakened, I was not sure I was awake, and not sure that it had not really happened. For me, the dream was impossibly powerful, realistic yet so very improbable to me. I'm frightened to write it down and publish it here.
In working on it, the story keeps changing shape in front of me. It is a mix of things I've experienced and heard, and perhaps things that I hope no one ever must experience.
Most of us have things in our lives that we cry about, and at times laugh about. Should I just forget it?
What should I do?
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Write it out,
even if you never show anyone. The best way to banish those sorts of dreams is to hash them out so they don't ferment in your brain into fever-dream moonshine.
You should go for it
Speaking from experience: I had an idea for a story five years ago that I found erotic, improbable, and scary, and I was afraid of what might happen if I posted it here. I figured I'd be pilloried in the comments. I can't say I thought about it all the time, but I thought about it A LOT. Finally, I got enough nerve to write it. It got almost 2000 hits and just over 100 votes -- and two whole people left comments! I still take a deep breath and brace myself whenever there's a new comment or private message (which is not very often), but the few responses I've gotten are generally positive.
My impression is that people like to read "that kind of thing" but won't say so, and they won't comment because leaving a comment will forever associate their name with a story plastered with warnings. It's like visiting a sex club, and then writing on Yelp that the floral wallpaper in the bathroom reminds you of your grandmother's house. If you don't want people to know you were there, you have to keep your indignation over the wallpaper to yourself.
So don't worry about backlash, if that's what concerns you.
Honestly, not getting comments and PMs is kind of nice. It's like living in the woods: peaceful and quiet.
Also, I find there are things in the sexual realm are really difficult to write about, even when I'm trying to ignore my inner censor. There are some boundaries I can almost touch with my hand. That in itself is an interesting experience. If you're afraid of setting down something that will horrify your friends, just try. If you're like me, you'll find your pen tries to swerve around some parts.
But yes, go for it. Be afraid, but don't let it stop you. Lots of luck, and a big hug!
- io