Dear Diary,

I'M SOOOOOO STUPID! Ugh!

Yesterday my mom had to go to the doctor. Now hear me out because i know that sounds cruel. Like "Helen, i know you are at odds with your mother but what could she have done to you to elicit that kind of reaction?"... ... ... seriously i know this is in my head but wow, you just went there(facepalm)(maybe i should start a facepalm counter for all the times i mess up... nah too lazy. Where was i)

Mom went to the doctor to get a checkup on her bad ankle. Little side note she broke her ankle about 10 years ago when i was playing in the street. I wasnt watching where i was running, but seriously what 6 year old actually pays attention to the road... right... right?... um...
Anyway, she sort of (actually not sort of she did save my life when a truck was barrelling down the road i ran right in front of it when my mom caught me with one arm and threw me to the lawn out of the way. She got her foot caught in the gutter and consequently broke her ankle as a result... she has to get seen for her 2 screw implants to keep the pain in check. (Note to self check for run-ons because your 2 sentances take up a usual paragraph on a phone and its kind of annoying)(edit out later)

So back to the story, SuperMom is going to the orthopedic specialist for pain and would be out of the house for at least 6 hours. My sister was also out of the house at her boyfriend's house. She's a bit of a tomboy and luv luv loves her videogames. You needed that context because of the next sentance. She told me she was going to her BFs to play some wrestling... I've been to her boyfriend's house. Neither of them have well lets just say they get their excercises. Sorry, tangent again (i should really consider trigonometry as a career but i think it would be hard to "function" sorry I'll stop.

As i was saying, i had the whole house to myself. And a plethura of piñatas, i mean shopping bags, i mean clothes. My sister's new clothes to be exact. I went to my room and stripped. The only thing i took with me were panties i had stored away tajt Jo bought me which i hid under my floorboards under my carpet in a black box with a key that i disguised on my keychain. Remember when i said i was paranoid, i bet you thought i was kidding. I'm worse than Burt Gummer after 19 years of being haunted by giant worms. I went into my sister's room ans straight to her closet. I found what i was after. A fit and flare mini dress with a square neckline, long peasant sleeves with shirred cuffs, princess sleeves, with a hidden zipper in the back. I put the hanger on the door and headed to her bathroom. I washed everything.

After the shower, i smelled just like my sister. Apricot peaches dancing in the room. As per usual. After i put on the dress i found her perfume and gave myself a spritz. I looked in the mirror and saw i was in heaven. I went to my phone and used a filter to make me look more like myself. (The gender bender filter)after the picture was taken, i stored it to a secret vault for my girl pics that only me and Jo (Jo and me... myself... i... whatever) know about. She gets a ping and sends me an encrypted message ""U alone?" "Yep" "Crap"" this translated to "OMG SOOOOO CUTE" "TY, come over so you can help me hide the evidence" "ok girlfriend Ill B right ovr luvsya"

When Jo got to my house we went right away back to my sisters room and aired out the new smell to dilute it. I then got undressed and handed everything but my panties to Jo who would gladly washeverything while i took a shower... in my shower... my man shower... back to the mask of musk and swagger. When i was done, Jo finished pulling everything back into their propper places. The vault has detailed pictures of everything we use to make absolutely certain nobody sees anything out of place. Once the room is aired out we close all the windows and doors and turn out the light. I get dressed in my skinnies and my Nikes and put on a black t-shirt to hide the fading lines i created with my sisters bra. We head into the livingroom to watch half of a show before it is about 2 hours before mom and sis get home. I send Jo home with a bag of my panties so she can get them washed and back to me  during our next escapade.

After Jo left i got a message from my sister "heading home be there in about 5 minutes". All i can say is that was a close call.