NotExpected 14

Not What We Expected by Tiffany B. Quinn It was glaringly obvious that my parents did not want to be there when they first arrived for Sunday dinner, but by the time the evening was over they were much more relaxed. Dad seemed to warm to Tom faster than my mother did. At Sandra’s insistence, they agreed to attend the Wisconsin reception where they ended up getting to meet and visit with Tom’s parents. At the reception, the Judge and his wife apologized to my parents for Tom taking away their daughter-in-law. It took a while, but Mom eventually warmed up to Tom and admitted that my living with Tom and Sandra was probably the better option. She still wanted to keep in touch with me, a contact that I also wanted to, and did, continue.

Chapter 14

The next three weeks passed in a whirlwind of activity. In terms of wedding planning, this wedding had been a rushed job from the start. As I was the only one without a job, I found myself running all sorts of wedding related errands that the planners were not covering. I also had two parties to work out and final dress fittings to help coordinate for the Bride and her maids.

The wedding shower was held at Tom's mansion on the Saturday two weeks before the wedding. This party was primarily for the bride's friends, but Tom flew his mother and sister up for the party. Tom made himself scarce during the week by taking a quick business trip to Europe to attend some type of prosthetics convention and he delayed his return until Sunday. His is a wise man.

Having never been to a bridal shower, I relied heavily on Sandra’s mother and sisters. We also enlisted the help of Sandra's bridesmaids which included her sisters, a high school friend, and a college roommate. We decided that the shower needed a romantic theme. The large living room was decorated with lots of flowers, hearts, and pink ribbon. The room was more than big enough to accommodate the thirty women who attended. There were pictures of both the Bride and Groom from various stages of their lives strewn about. I made sure to not include any from my life together with Sandra. There were a couple of pictures of Sandra and Tom together. These had been taken in the past couple of months since their engagement. A case of champagne was on hand and was liberally consumed by everyone but me. I nursed one small glass of bubbly throughout the evening. We played a number of silly, and somewhat embarrassing, shower games and opened presents. Embarrassing stories about both the Bride and Groom were liberally shared. The gifts ran from the sensible to the nearly pornographic. As this was a second marriage for Sandra, they had a hard time embarrassing her with graphic depictions of what to expect in the bedroom. I, on the other hand, was in constant blush mode. The women are definitely more open in their conversations about sex than men are. More than once someone would look at me and suggest to the group that maybe this was too much information for young girl. We had to remind them that I am older than I look and am not without bedroom experience. Just not from the feminine perspective. The women all had a good time but tended to ignore the young girl in the room.

Instead of going home that night, I spent my first night in the Princess room. With Tom out of town, Sandra spent her first night in his bed.

The dress fitting had been held that Saturday afternoon and was a new experience for me. It is said that bridesmaids dresses were chosen to purposely make the Bride the center of attention. Just like at our wedding, Sandra picked some rather plain dresses for her wedding party. We were all to wear knee length sleeveless shifts in a cream color that went well with Sandra's exquisite wedding dress. There would be doubt who the star was at the wedding. We had the fitting while Tom's sister was in town for the bridal shower. We were ushered in to a secluded showroom and each handed our dress. The dresses had been made using our provided dimensions. Then all the girls started to undress. Right there in the open room. It only occurred to me after I had stripped down to my underwear that I had never been in the presence of so many underwear clad women outside of a locker room. After a moment's contemplation I mentally shrugged and said to myself: If the panties fit, wear them. I am a girl now and this is apparently normal.

Sandra almost had a melt down over some obscure detail with her dress, so I was kept busy trying to calm her much of the time. The final alterations would be done by the next weekend, just in time for us to leave for the wedding.

As the days are counted down, Sandra's anxiety seemed to increase. She started to micromanage the details. It was getting on my nerves. Since we were still roommates I had to deal with her daily.

The Sunday after the bridal shower, while she was waiting until it was time to meet Tom at the airport, we had a little heart-to-heart discussion.

Sandra was going off about some wedding detail when I couldn't take it anymore.

"Sandra!" I said sharply, getting her attention. I was getting ready to slap her if necessary. "Were you this much of a basket case last time?"

"I am not a basket case," she said indignantly. "I just want everything to be perfect."

"The only thing that really matters," I told her, "is that the two of you say 'I do' when prompted by the priest. The rest is just window dressing. Take a deep breath and let it go. You have me, your mother, your future mother-in-law, your sisters, his sister and two wedding planners going at full tilt. Just relax or you'll make yourself sick. Or worse yet you'll focus so much on what doesn't go according to plan to revel in the celebration of your love. You'll ruin it for yourself, Tom, and everyone else. Have some faith, girl. We know what you want done and we'll do it. When something doesn't go according to plan, don't sweat it. We'll have you covered. And you can focus on your man."

She sighed, "Am I really that bad?"

"Have you ever heard of Bridezilla?" I asked. She nodded affirmatively. "You are in danger of becoming one. It's time to take a deep breath and step back from the brink."

She gives me a hug, "I am sorry. I don't why I'm so nervous. This isn't my first rodeo, so to speak. I just hope that this is the last one. I love Tom so much that I want everything to be perfect for him. I want this to be a day that we can remember fondly for the rest of our lives. Oh, Andi, thanks for the lecture. I suppose that I deserved it. I don't know what I'd do without you."

"It will be a day that you always remember," I pointed out dryly as we break our hug. "Do you want to remember it fondly or with regret? The flowers, table layouts, music, food, wine, etc. are not what you'll remember. At least it's not what I remember from our wedding. I doubt that Tom will remember any of those details from this wedding. What I do remember is my heart soaring as I was standing opposite the most special girl in the world in front of the minister on a hilltop. I remember listening to you pledge your love to me until death do us part. In hindsight we should have added something about until gender changes do us part. The party was fun but all I wanted was it to end so that we could get away from all those people to consummate our marriage and begin to build our life together. I don't remember what colors we chose, who sat next to who, a lot of the things that you are stressing about. Tom probably won't remember those details either. Remember that this is Tom’s big day too. If you keep stressing about this you'll spoil it for both of you."

"I'll try," she promised. To her credit, she did a pretty good job of stepping back. I only had to remind her a couple of times as the day drew closer.

-----<0>-----

My visit the gynecologist that week confirmed what I had already figured out on my own. I now had a vaginal opening. As a result, I was introduced to the indignity of a pelvic examination. After poking around down there and examining the ultrasound results for the day, my doctor reported that it seemed that I was almost completely formed. Things weren't quite up to specs yet, but that would be resolved in only a matter of days if things continued to progress at their current rate.

We scheduled the next appointment for two weeks out since I'd be traveling to Louisiana with Tom and Sandra next week for the wedding. The gynecologist suggested that I start carrying tampons or pads with me. She was fully expecting me to experience my first period once the changes were complete. Oh joy!

I went to the department store and bought a bikini to celebrate. After two months of immersion in female culture, I had learned the value of shopping therapy. A bikini also seemed to be symbolic of the near completion of my transformation. What better way to demonstrate that I am female now. Looking in a mirror, I saw that there could be no doubt that I was all girl.

The temperature was in the low 70s, so I spent the afternoon by the condo association pool working on my tan. I felt very exposed wearing my new bikini out in public however I was soon distracted following up with wedding details on my Blackberry and by reading a couple of technical magazines that I had brought out with me. There were other kids around as school was out for the day, but they were mostly older teens and I was ignored.

The sun felt great on my skin.

Tom and Sandra were fixing dinner together when I went home to the condo wearing the bikini with a flimsy cover up.

"Tom," Sandra poked at her fiancé, "It's not nice to stare at your daughter that way."

"Wow," he said in awe, "I didn't realize just how far the changes have affected you, Andi. You're very cute. I think that we'll be beating off the boys very soon."

Sandra poked him again, and smiling at me said, "That's a really nice bikini, Andi. As Tom's expression will tell you, it suits you. When did you get it?"

I sat at the counter and filled them in on my day, including my doctor's visit and shopping trip. We also chatted about the latest in wedding plans. Sandra eventually suggested that I go get more clothes on. It felt like a normal domestic family evening. It felt comfortable.

After Tom left that evening, Sandra loaned me some tampons and gave me a rather graphic description of how they were used. She even had me practice inserting one. She also gave me a couple of pads and panty liners, which were to be my new friends, to carry in my purse. She went with me to purchase my own stock of feminine hygiene products after the next day's workout at the gym. It was embarrassing.

There was only a faint hint of blue left in the predominately pink crystal.

----<0>----

The following day, I had no particular plans to go anywhere, so decided to spend the afternoon by the pool working on my tan and catch up on some reading. The plan was to read a number of computer magazines that I hadn’t gotten to yet.

Our condominium complex caters mostly to young professionals, like Sandra and I, and there were not a lot of kids about. But there were a few. It was the first week of June and school was not out for the year quite yet, but it would be very soon.

I had been at the pool by myself late in the afternoon after school had let out for the day when a young girl about my own apparent age came in, introduced herself as Kelley and asked if she could lay on the lounger next to me. She dropped her cover up to reveal a one piece swimsuit before stretching out on the lounger. She had a few teen magazines and some sunscreen with her. Eventually other teens and young children with their mothers or nannies filtered in to enjoy the pool.

"I saw you out here from our condo when I got home from school," Kelley pointed to a nearby unit. "I saw you out here yesterday too, but my mom wouldn't let me come out because I had too much homework to do. My parents just bought the condo across the street and we moved in a month ago. I think I've seen you around with your mom but haven't had an opportunity to introduce myself yet. Your mom looks like a supermodel and you look a lot like a younger version of her. She seems too young to be your mother. Don't you hope that you get her looks? I saw you drive by in that cute car the other day. Won’t you get in trouble for driving your mom's car? You are too young to drive. Your mother lets you come to the pool by yourself? Isn't that unsafe? My mom only let me come today because I told her that you were out here by yourself and I promised that I would be keeping company with you. I haven't seen you on the bus. Don't you go to school?"

Kelley can get a lot out in one shot.

I still had the problem of how to integrate with my new peer group and it appeared as if the solution had just presented itself. The problem now was, do I go with her perception or do I tell her that I'm older than I look?

I had decided to see what pretending to be a young girl was like and see if I could make friends with a peer. I would be in school next fall, so I figured that I might as well get started on my girl assimilation.

I smiled at her, "I'm fairly new here too." As a young girl anyway, I thought to myself. "We decided to homeschool to the end of the year since we'll be moving soon anyway." Only a little white lie.

"Oh," she sounded disappointed, "I was wondering why I never see you on the bus or at school. I hate being the new girl all the time. Especially right at the end of the school year. My Dad was military and we moved every few years. He just got out and decided that we needed to move closer to family. Both Mom and Dad are from this area. Why are you're moving?"

"My mom is getting remarried in ten days,“ I informed her, “and we'll be moving in with her new husband when they get back from their honeymoon."

"Does he live nearby?" She asked.

"Not too close," I said, "He lives in a big house just north of town."

"That sounds nice," she sighed. "I wish we could settle down in a big house in the country. Are there horses? Will you be going to the same school as me? Will you have your own pool?"

My head spun at the rapid sequence of questions. I wondered if all girls are like this. I was soon to find out, that teen girls can talk rapidly and carry several threads of conversation at the same time without dropping a thought.

"I think that I will going to go to a private school next year," I mentioned, "He doesn't have any horses that I know of, but maybe I can get him to buy me one. There are actually two pools, one indoors and one out. How about you? Where did you move from?"

Over the next half hour I learned that they had just come from Japan where her father had been stationed as an air force doctor. She loved animals, particularly horses, chocolate ice cream, Taylor Swift, the color lavender, was also going into seventh grade the next year, and a myriad of other details. I tried to keep up and add similar things to the parallel conversations, but it soon became apparent that I was a novice at preteen girl gossip while Kelley was a pro.

Fortunately, two other twelve-year-old girls, Susie and Jenny, showed up. Kelley knows both from her short time at school so she invited them to join us. They also lived in our condo development. The three of them went at it a mile a minute and I tried to keep up, answering questions as they were put to me. I wasn't holding up my end of the conversation at all. Fortunately, the other two girls were lifelong residents of the area and they were happy to share their insights with Kelley and me.

After an hour of non-stop chatter, my brain was in a fog, so I excused myself and retreated to the condo on the excuse that I had to meet my "mom" at the gym. I started to get worried about jumping into seventh grade. I was going to have to figure out how that culture really worked and it appeared to be more complex that I had been expecting. I made a quick run to the local video store and picked up a number of teen girl movies on my way to the gym in a vain hope of getting an education. I knew that girls were more intense than guys, but I never realized just how intense they can be until I tried participating in this afternoon's conversation with three peer experts.

When I related my experience to Sandra as we worked out, she just grinned again. "You have a lot to learn, sweetie. Why don't you invite Kelley over to watch some of those movies with you while I'm out with Tom tonight. She might help you to understand them better."

Kelley had given me her phone number, so I called her when we got home to see if she wanted to come watch movies that evening while my "mom" was out with her fiancé. She was over almost immediately after her parents talked with Sandra to make sure that it was alright with her. I think that Kelley was looking for another new friend. We had to be done early because it was a school night so we only watched one film.

Kelley had kept a running commentary going about what she thought was real and what was fake about the situations presented in the movie. I tried to act like I knew what was going on by making a few comments of my own. Kelley would often look at me funny when I was apparently obviously misinterpreting what was going on in the film. It was a very educational evening.

During the movie we spent time doing some of the same girly things that I had been doing with Sandra and the girls in our families in recent months. I put her rather long blonde hair into a fancy French braid that she really adored. She fussed a bit with my much shorter hair but there wasn’t much we could do with it. The foundation of what was to be a long friendship was established that evening.

Next thing I knew, I had agreed to go over to her house for a sleepover the next Friday night for a repeat of the evening's activities. She invited Jenny and Susie too. This sleepover was much more successful that the last one I had attended at my niece's house. I was treated as one of the girls. It was nerve wracking trying to act like an authentic twelve-year-old girl.

-----<0>-----

Kelley and I ended up spending quite a bit of time together over the next few days, either at her house, mine, or the pool. Susie and/or Jenny would occasionally join us as they were able. I have to admit that it was fun and enlightening. I even started to get a handle on understanding girl speak, but I had a long way to go to become proficient at speaking it. Kelley, without really knowing it, was turning out to be a good mentor.

Kelley was fascinated with my ongoing work on the wedding plans and wanted to help. I couldn’t think of anything for her to do as everything was in its final stages and under control, more or less.

When my mother found out about my new friends, she said that it was a step in the right direction and encouraged me to keep it up. She was pleased that I’d found a way to connect with my age group. She said that it would make things easier when I started school in the fall.

It turns out that the three girls would start attending the middle school that mom is principal of in the fall. It wasn't long before I started to reevaluate the decision to attend the private school. The girls all wanted me to join them at my mother's public middle school.

-----<0>-----

The wedding clock continued to tick by. On the Sunday before the wedding, Sandra and I spent the entire afternoon going through her wardrobe, choosing items for the upcoming trip to Louisiana and the honeymoon. She agonized over every item and we discussed, endlessly, what she might need for various occasions. She wanted my former male perspective on what looked nice and what I thought that she should wear under it to seduce Tom. She had been ramping up the sexual tension and planned to hit him full force with as much sex appeal as she could muster on their wedding day and on the honeymoon. The woman was obviously very sexually frustrated and was looking for all the action she could get out of her man.

She had done similar things in the build up to our wedding ten years earlier. By the time the big day arrived, I was more than ready to satisfy the lady. Somewhere deep inside me, where some small amount of blue still remained, I vaguely wished that this was all for me.

At the same time, the overwhelming pink in me wistfully dreamed of my own big day.

Packing for the honeymoon was a little tricky. We knew what she needed in the bedroom (not much!) but the destination was unknown. Soon after they got formally engaged Tom had asked her where she'd like to go for the honeymoon. As it was cold in Wisconsin at the time, she had promptly said that she'd like to go somewhere warm with lots of sandy beaches. He smiled and said that he would make that happen. He was successful in keeping the destination a secret right up until they left the reception, but he had promised her that the location fit her wishes. So, another trip to the department store found her the possessor of a very skimpy bikini and a see through cover up. I had hoped that the beach is private. I had made sure to slip a bottle of sunscreen into her suitcase.

We also spent time trying to decide what I should take on the trip. I was only going to be gone for five days, but I still ended up with a good sized suitcase to take.

When we had thought we were done, there were three huge suitcases, one of which was mine, lined up by the front door to our condo and her wedding dress was hanging in the hall closet. Monday was her last day at work before the wedding. She would not be back for three weeks since the couple had a two week honeymoon planned. When she arrived home from work that day, she had second thoughts about her wardrobe selections and we took the cases back to her room and started over again. After everything was repacked and lined up the door again, she started to rethink the packing once more. I had given her the evil eye and made her walk away from her cases.

On Tuesday Tom had picked us up and we were soon on board a corporate jet heading to Louisiana. The rest of Sandra's family and friends would be finding their way to the backwoods of Louisiana on their own, though Tom was picking up the tab for commercial travel for Sandra's family. He was also picking up the tab for two floors of a Marriott hotel about half an hour away from his hometown for Sandra's friends and family.

When we arrived at his parent's house late Tuesday, the place looked like a war zone. There were piles of equipment everywhere. A small group of workers was erecting a circus tent in the backyard where the reception dinner party was going to be held. It was huge. I guess that it needed to be for the 400 guests that had been invited. A portable dance floor was to be installed in the middle of the tent. This was a BIG production.

Sandra and I were given a room well away from Tom's. We would be sharing a room until the wedding so that I could assist her as needed.

I was formally introduced to the Judge and, after dinner, the Judge and his wife invited me into their Study. It seemed that the Study is where all the business happens. Sandra gave me a worried look as I wandered off with Tom's parents.

Once we were settled, Tom's mother opened the conversation, "Andi, we have a hard time imagining you as a man. I saw nothing male in you at the bridal shower. All we can see is a darling looking little girl who looks a lot like a younger version of Sandra. Regardless, I feel that I know the mature person from our telephone chats. We just want to see how you are holding up. This must be hard for you."

The Judge nodded in agreement.

"I'm okay," I said, "mostly.  My family, friends, and Sandra have worked hard to help me adjust to my new reality. Sandra has also changed. She is no longer the woman who had been my wife. Instead she is my best friend and I am happy for her. I still wish that I could rewind the clock nine months and undo our visit to Grandma Broussard. Even though our relationship was strained, Sandra and I had a good thing going. But I can't do that and what is done is done. Under the circumstances, I am extremely pleased that my best friend and former sweetheart has found joy in her new relationship and hope that it brings her the joy that I could not give her. And right now, I can't wait until she's off on her honeymoon. She's driving me around the bend."

They both smiled at that. The Judge commented with a smile, "We noticed that she's a bit wound up."

"That's an understatement, if I ever heard one," I commented dryly.

"By the way," I gave them my best glare, but I suspect that it didn't look all that threatening coming from a twelve-year-old, "I have a bone to pick with someone. Tom and Sandra only grinned at me when I try to get them to talk to me about the extra $3 million in my investment account. Did you put him up to it?"

They look at each other briefly before grinning at me and saying "No comment" in unison.

For the next half an hour they probed me about my feelings and future plans. I asked them a lot of questions about Grandma Broussard.

It appears that Grandma resurfaced after Tom and Sandra's visit and the Judge gave her an earful. According to Tom's mother, Grandma took it calmly and said that everything would work out to everyone's benefit. She was confident that time would prove her right. No amount of reason would get her to admit that she'd harmed Sandra and me. When the Judge pointed out that she should also be compensating me for my loss, she apparently said that she already had. It would take time for me to realize it. None of us knew what she meant by that. Grandma also told them that she'd not be talking with me or Sandra or Tom until the nine months was over on Saturday.

When the meeting broke up, I think that a friendship had started. The Judge shook my hand and I got a great hug from his wife.

"Welcome to the family," Mrs. Broussard said as she hugged me. "We are twice blessed by having a wonderful new daughter-in-law and a beautiful young lady joining our family."

That night, as we got ready for bed, Sandra asked me how the interview went. She had been worried that the Broussards would grill me again. I reassured her that all was well and I filled her in on our conversation.

----<0>----

The next three days were a tornado of activity. I stayed by Sandra's side through most of it.

Wednesday we went to the Courthouse and the happy couple got the marriage license.

Thursday included a last minute meeting with the wedding planner and caterers for the rehearsal dinner and reception. There was the meeting with the Priest for final coordination of the ceremony. We also met with the florists to make sure that all was on track for the arrangements at the church and reception. Sandra and I got a sneak peek at the bouquet. It was huge and it was gorgeous, like everything else associated with this wedding. After dinner, Tom and Sandra went to sit by the pond and talk while I sat and visited with various members of Tom's family as they filtered through the house. I was starting to think that Sandra was marrying into a great family. She will fit in nicely.

Friday, Tom went off to do whatever business he had to do. Sandra and I moved to the hotel where her family and friends were gathering. We had rented out the hotel bar for that evening's bachelorette party so I spent time with the staff finalizing the details for that event. By lunch time, all the bridesmaids had arrived and we met in a staging room to make sure that all our dresses and accessories were in order. Several hair stylists would be showing up early Saturday morning to make sure that our hair and makeup were perfect for the main event.

Four PM found us all at the church, rehearsing the ceremony with the priest. That went off without a hitch.

The rehearsal dinner was held at the hotel where several meeting rooms had been combined into a big banquet room. Sandra's parents and Tom's parents spent much of the time becoming acquainted and sharing stories of their respective children. There were a few speeches and wishes for happiness to the lovely couple. I saw Grandma Broussard there and tried to connect with her, but things kept getting in the way. She did smile at me from across the room once when I glared at her, but that was the only communication we had.

Eventually, the bridesmaids and groomsmen told the couple to kiss good night before we whisked them away to their respective bachelor parties. They would next see each other at the church.

Typically bachelorette parties are held sooner than the night before the wedding so that the bride does not show up hung-over for the wedding. We chose to have it at the last minute since there were invitees from both sides of the new family and that is when everyone could be there. This meant that I, as the hostess, had to ride herd on Sandra to make sure that no one got her drunk. It was a challenge.

The first challenge, it turned out, was getting me into the party. The bartender asked me to leave on the grounds that underage children were not allowed in the bar. When I showed him my ID, he confiscated it stating that this was the most blatant use of a fake ID that he had ever seen. He said that he would turn it over to the police if I didn't leave. I was hopping mad. I let him know that I'm the one paying for the party, I was of age, the Maid of Honor, and was going to stay. When Sandra saw me in a heated argument with the bartender she came over to see what the issue was. The bartender didn't believe her either. Our argument was getting attention from the other party goers. Fortunately we had invited the mothers of the couple to the party and Mrs. Broussard came to my rescue. After a few well placed phone calls and a visit from the night manager, the bartender backed off. He also gave me my ID back. He glared at me all night. I smirked at him while nursing one glass of champagne for the night. He did not get much of a tip from me.

The bridesmaids and I each gave a little speech about how special Sandra was then opened the mike for other comments. I have to say, I didn't realize how crude a bunch of slightly drunk young women can be. The presence of the mothers kept things toned down a bit, but when they left around 9:00 pm, things started to get raunchy. We had karaoke, and each of the bridesmaids led a party game. Things were still going strong when I dragged Sandra back to our room so that she could get some sleep before her big day. Of course she had to hug and thank each woman individually before we left. It was a bit after 10:30 PM when I finally got her tucked into bed and I fell exhausted into mine.

----<0>----

Sensing motion in the room, I woke at 3:30 AM to see Sandra standing at the window with her robe clutched around her. She was just staring out the window with tears streaming down her cheeks.

Slipping out of bed, I stepped up beside her, put my arm around her waist and laid my head against her shoulder. She put her arm around my shoulders and gave me a squeeze. With a seven inch height difference, I'm sure that we looked more like mother and daughter than best friends.

We just stood there together for a while before she finally spoke.

"How did we get here, Andrew?" She sobbed quietly.

She didn't use my full name often, and never my former male name anymore.

I gave her a squeeze as I replied, "Grandma Broussard."

"She might have helped," Sandra admitted, "but none of this would have happened if I hadn't been so obsessed with having a baby."

I didn't reply.

After a few minutes, she continued, "I woke a while ago and watched you sleep. I know that my first love is somewhere inside the lovely girl that has become my best friend. I just don't see him. It really does feel as if Andrew has died or disappeared and I miss him terribly. As I watched you, I reflected on how much I am to blame for ruining your life. You should hate me, yet you have been my rock over the past couple of months as I have prepared to marry another man. I don't understand how you can do that. Today should be a celebration of our tenth anniversary, but I am marrying another man instead. How can you not hate me! When I came to look out the window, all the good times we've had over the years started to pass through my mind. You have always been there for me and I was there for you. We were a good team. I feel so bad for having let you down and my heart aches. I am a terrible person for loving Tom when I should still be married to you."

We continued standing there, staring out the window together. We were both silently crying.

Finally, I replied, "You are not a bad person, Sandra. And Tom is a great guy. You and I are both victims, but we don't have to be. We can take what has been done to us and turn it into something positive and wonderful. You are doing the right thing, given the circumstances. Neither one of us are the same person that we were nine months ago. There is no way that I can be a husband to you now. You know that. I know that. Tom knows that. I will always cherish the time that we had together and hope for many more wonderful times together in the future, only different. Now it is time for you to start building happy memories with Tom. I may be your best girlfriend, but now you need to put Tom on the pedestal reserved for your very best friend. Your marriage won't work if you don't. Grandma Broussard has, in a twisted way, given me a gift too. I still have you in my life and I have a chance to go back and not repeat some of the mistakes of my teen years. I need to live life more fully than I did as a geeky kid twenty years ago. I need to be more like you. Hopefully, if I can be more like you, I will find a companion like Tom to love me and with whom I can stand as we face the world together, like you and Tom are about to do. Like what you and I tried to do, without great success. I think that we both have to finally admit that our relationship was heading for the rocks before all this happened. Things are working out well for both of us now. I will to be there to watch your happiness grow and to be your sounding board when you need it. You will be there when I need the same."

She gave me a squeeze, "You can count on me, Andi. Thanks for being my rock." She wiped the tears from her eyes.

"I love you, Sandra," I whispered.

"I love you too, Andi," She whispered back as we turn to hug each other.

We moved the room's couch so that we could sit together while we continued to stare out the window as the night slumbered on.

A sense of peace settle on both of us as we silently sat together, each with her own thoughts.