"You would think Howard would know better," President Walsh complained to his chief of Staff, Sam Banner. They were discussing the latest issue of the day, the Century Savings and Loan scandal, and the fact that the Vice President was central to the scandal.

"I suppose youre right, sir," Sam said, "but I never really had that high an opinion of the Vice President, frankly speaking."

"Let's still show some respect, Sam," the President said. "Whatever he is, Howard Spencer is still our vice president."

Most of the President's staff felt the sameas Sam, but when they were running in the primary, the President needed a running mate that the party could accept, and who would be willing to follow the campaign's agenda. And that person came ready-made in Congressman Howard Spencer, a legislator known to be a pliant shill for special interest groups and lobbyists, and whose convictions were so paper-thin, he barely had his own opinions about any issue, and would flip-flop as necessary to be more in-line with the party's position or to forward the agenda of whatever interest group he was currently in bed with. He voted the way he was told to vote and was reliable as a warm body to fill the party's quota of votes to pass or block legislation.

The President-To-Be's campaign team thought a person who essentially had no scruples would be good for the campaign, and he was. Congressman Howard Spencer was a good boy - to have the opportunity to be vice president was something he would do anything for, and he did exactly that, and did it well and with passion. He acted as the candidate's attack dog, fighting and arguing openly with anyone that was contrarian to the campaign, and defended the candidate's points and positions with verve and passion, even if he did it with less wit and knowledge than a grade-school student.

It was actually a very savvy campaign strategy - one which allowed them to capture more than sixty percent of the vote, and it was only possible with Congressman Spencer - other professional politicians wouldn't be as open to prostituting themselves because of worry about repercussions to their careers and they burned bridges the way Spencer was so free in doing. And during the campaign, Spencer did indeed alienate all of the other candidates during the primaries, and was not hesitant to be less than gentlemanly when debating with the other party's people during the actual campaign period.

As such, everyone wanted to get back at him - thankfully not at President Walsh: just him. But as a loyal runing mate, the President would make a show of loyally defending his vice president, which gave him great face and a good reputation among the public. He role was the loyal friend defending his bufoon of a vice president, whereas Spencer's role was the bufoon. Needless to say, that bolstered the President's reputation. His approval rating regularly polled in the seventy percent range, whereas the VP barely hit thirty.

However, even so, with the Century Savings and Loan scandal that involved the Vice President, President Walsh now had no choice.

"Has Ellen typed up the letter, Sam?" he said to his chief of staff.

"Yes, sir," Sam replied, and handed over a piece of paper.

Walsh read the short letter his First Secretary had typed up on the VP's stationery.

- - - - -

Dear Mr. President,

Howard H. Spencer
Vice President of the United States

- - - - -

The President nodded. "Looks good. Short, simple and classy."

"Actually, sir," Sam said, "we didnt really need to push him to resign. He passed by earlier while you were meeting with the Japanese ambassador, and dropped this off." He handed the President a letter envelope.

The President accepted it. It had "Jack" written on it in Howard's big, spikey handwriting.

He opened it. Inside was a typed-up letter made up of three lines:

- - - - -

Jack,

Howard
The VP

- - - - -

Classic Howard Spencer. The President laughed long and heartily. But this definitely cannot be his official letter of resignation, he thought. In fact, it cannot even be shown to the public, or at least not yet maybe when it's had twenty years to gestate in some dusty drawer in the presidential archives. He was sure future historians will have a good laugh when they read it.

"Give Howard what Ellen typed up," he said, "wait for him to sign it, and then bring it back here. Where is he, anyway?"

"I'm not sure," Sam said. "Probably on his way to play golf. Don't worry, sir, I'll find him myself, and get his signature."

President Walsh nodded as Sam left, and called in his First Secretary to find out what's scheduled for the day.

As he got stuck into the day's business, he thought things over. It was actually easy to get rid of the Vice President given how almost everyone in government hated his guts.

There wouldn"t be any hue and cry from anyone in the media, too, nor practically anyone else. It was only Howard himself who didn't know how universally disked he was.

The only reason he had survived for this long, politically speaking, was that he was useful to the party. Since the Vice President was also the Senate President, he provided the tie-breaker vote while the Senate was in session, and he could also be counted on to be the administration's bad cop to the President's good cop.

Truth be told, Walsh's hands, as well as many in his administration's, were not clean. They were just less visibly dirty than the Vice President's.

Jack Walsh didn't know if he was ready to give the VP up, because he was a hell of a big convenience. That was the main reason that everyone in the party turned a blind eye to all of his shenanigans. This emboldened him, and over a period of nine months, he did more and more patently outrageous and clearly illegal activities, thinking he was immune. But no one is ever immune. It was just a matter of time. And time had inevitably caught up with him.

But the void that Howard's resignation will make will need to be filled, and filled up quickly, especially at this time when congress was as close to being equally split between the parties as possible, with only one senator and one congressman tipping the balance away from the President's party. The Vice President's tiebreaker vote was therefore critical, and his position in the presidential line of succession equally important given that the Speaker and the Senate President Pro Tempore were both from the other party.

After Sam brought back the VPs' signed resignation letter, Sam, the President, the Secretary of State, the White House Press Secretary and several key staffers met at the Oval Office to discuss the imminent departure of their vice president.

"The thing is, son," Darrin 'Dunce' Talbot, the ex-navy admiral who was now Walsh's secretary of state, said to Sam, "there is a perception of the Office of the Vice President now. When we replace Howard, it has to be with his direct opposite."

"What do you mean, Darrin?" the President asked.

"What we need, Mr. President," Talbot said, "is an anti-Howard."

"You mean..." Sam said.

"I mean we need someone like Tom Hanks as VP."

"Who, sir?" Jamie Summers, the White House press secretary asked. "Tom Hanks the actor?"

"Yes, the actor. Also, the most trusted man in the country."

"God," Sam said. "Do you know any politician who's that squeaky clean?"

They thought a bit.

"Well, there are a few that may be clean enough," Sam eventually said, answering his own question.

"Like who," Talbot asked.

"Sugarbaker, from Wisconsin," Sam said, "or maybe Hafley from Alaska, or Arrapayo from Hawaii."

"How about McLeesh, Vermont's State Police Commissioner?"

"That guy's a little too crazy, don't you think?" the President said.

Sam shrugged. "You may be right, sir. But he's well thought of in Vermont even if not in the rest of the country. How about Al Perez from Houston? He's the state surgeon general, has a good record in the party and has a good rep."

"What does a doctor know about politics?"

“Doesn't matter," Jamie said. "I don't know if they'll want to play ball with us. Besides, idealists aren't what we need."

“Youre right, darlin,'" Talbot agreed. "Politics is a game of compromises. We need someone who is willing to compromise."

"But isn't that what got us in hot water?" Sam said. "Too much compromise?"

"What Spencer did wasn't compromise," John Casey, the Presidents senior political adviser, said. "What he did was to sell out to anyone selling. Do you call that compromise? Coz I don't.”

Sam shrugged. "Then what?"

"What we need is an idealist who's also a pragmatist," the president said, "someone who tries to shoot for the moon but keeps himself grounded."

"That's a tall order, Mr. President. Those traits never appear together."

"I know."

They thought about things for a while.

"I have a suggestion, sir..." Jamie said hesitantly.

"Yes, Jamie?" the President said.

"Well..."

"Oh, for God's sake, honey," Talbot said in exasperation, "go on ahead and tell us already!"

Walsh waved the ex-navy man down.

"Go ahead, my dear," Walsh said to Jamie. "All ideas are welcome."

"Well, how about Freja Xander, the attorney-general of Wyoming?"

"What!" Sam exclaimed. "The gay guy?"

"Girl, actually, sir...”

"He's still a guy, even though he's had his dick cut off."

"Sam," Walsh said. "Let's keep it civil."

"Mr. President, do you know the... person Jamie's referring to? I know we're in a little bit of a hurry, but, Mr. President, do we really want to have a queer on staff?"

"Settle down, Sam. Lets hear her out."

"Well, Mr. President," Jamie said, "I've had dealings with some of the coal mining companies in the past, and it seems they don't like her too much."

"See what I mean?" Sam said.

"Sam, for the last time..." the President said.

Sam nodded. "Yes, sir. Sorry, sir."

"Continue, Jamie."

"Yes, sir. As I was saying, they don't like her but they respect her. Seems the attorney general is very keen on prosecuting any of them for any violation of state statutes or laws, like illegal use of state land and territories, land grabbing, pollution or labor violations, violation of State safety and EPA rules, or tax and employee compensation issues. So they did a lot of spin campaigns, harping on her sexual orientation and such, to discredit her and get her kicked out. One would think those would work easily, especially in conservative Wyoming. But they didn't. Her well-earned reputation for openness, fairness and for winning cases kept her in the good graces of the citizens she went to bat for, and earned her a large group of advocates that defended her and made her a kind of grassroots hero, which just adds to her very famous war record. Which explains why the companies weren't successful in kicking her out, even when they were willing to apply... unconventional inducements."

Talbot laughed. "I like that: unconventional inducements." He laughed again.

"Sounds like this queer guy, I mean, transgender person, might not be willing to play ball either," Walsh said.

"Thing is," Jamie said, ignoring the President's comment, "even the conservatives I talked with said they preferred dealing with her than with any of her predecesors or other officials in Wyoming's Justice Department, even if she is transgender."

"Why is that?"

"Well, for one thing, Xander enforces state law impartially - when its the coal or mining companies that're in trouble, she goes to bat for them as strongly as when she's prosecuting them. She defends the law regardless who is accusing, and who is being accused - she is super-tough but super-duper fair. Plus, no one can seem to beat her and her people. Over the six years she's been there, conviction rates have gone up, and corporate and industrial crime has gone down, and EPA reports show Wyoming is coming up fast in the national stats for the cleanest or most environmentally-friendly. And this is Wyoming - a state known for coal and mining.”

"'Super-duper fair,' huh?" Walsh smiled. "That's way up there with 'unconventional inducements'. How old are you, anway, Jamie?"

"I'm twenty-six, sir. I apologize if I'm a little too flippant..."

"Not at all. Its refreshing. What else? How about pollution, soil management, clean fuels, global warming and all that shit? I would think that she would be against coal. How about regular run-of-the-mill crimes?"

Jamie nodded. "She's actually for clean fuels and believes in conservation, protection against soil erosion, and is against global warming. Coming from a state whose main source of income is coal and mining, it's quite ironic and actually unbelievable. As for, ummm, 'regular crime,' her administration has had the highest yearly conviction rate in the history of the state.

"What you said, sir, about us needing an idealist who's also a pragmatist - Attorney General Xander defends the rights of Wyoming's people regardless of who they are, and does not compromise, but, on the side, is one of the quiet proponents for finding better, less-polluting processing methods and usages of coal, and is encouraging the diversification of Wyoming's economic portfolio into other industries. For example, two point-five percent of the state's yearly GDP now comes from the farming and processing of new non-GMO strains of soybeans, sunflowers and wheat as substitute crops, which started from state legislation that AG Xander championed. As you know these are both food crops and biofuel crops. And, yes, two point-five percent is small, but it's not insignificant, and it's projected to grow a percent per year. In a decade, it would be a major component of the state's economy.

"I think, sir, AG Xander could be one of those pragmatic idealists you were talking about."

"But she's a he, right?" Talbot asked.

"Ummm, no, sir. She's a she. If you mean, is she transsexual - yes, she is."

"Whatever. Why would we want a transgender man in the administration? Or is it woman?"

“Darrin, let's be civil," the President said, and turned to his young press secretary. "Jamie, unfortunately, Secretary Talbot has brought up an important point. Wouldn't having a transgender person in the White House attract unwelcome attenton?"

Jamie shrugged. "I don't know about that, sir. She did well in Wyoming, a quite conservative state. She is, in fact, the most popular government official there. Also, did you know over seven percent of the nation's adult population is actually LGBTQ, and almost all of them are voting age? She might actually be an asset.”

Talbot looked at her, surprised, to say the least. "Seven percent? Really?"

She nodded. "Yes, sir, Mr. Secretary. And almost all of them are registered voters or at least politically active. You can look it up."

"God. That's an amazing number." He looked at the President, laughing. "Mr. President, we may have missed a major demographic."

"Indeed. Jamie, you seem to know a lot about Ms Xander."

She shrugged nervously. "Not really, Mr. President. I just hear a lot in the press room."

She conveniently neglected to tell him that she was actually a close friend of AG Xander's sister, Kat. She and Kat were both taking pre-law in Columbia University when they first met, and became best friends. Jamie eventually moved to DC when she had an opportunity to start working for the White House and passed up studying for the bar, while Kat switched majors and went to Paris to study fashion (Kat told her that she decided to be a lawyer in the first place because she idolized her older brother-sister, but found that her heart wasn't really into law, but fashion instead. So, upon the insistence of her older... sibling, she decided to switch careers).

Despite this, however, Jamie and Kat kept in touch and have remained close - something that no one apparently knew about, and something she and Kat deliberately tried to keep hidden for the sake of Kat's sibling - it would't go well for Effie to be perceived as being a pro-administration politician, an impression which would have become inevitable if Kat's connection to Jamie became general knowledge.

President Walsh nodded to Jamie. "Well, I'll need you to know more," he said. "Put together some information and set up a briefing within the week. Lets see if Attorney General Xander can be a credible part of my administration."

"Are we vetting her already, sir?" Jamie asked. She tried to mask any kind of enthusiasm that she was feeling at the thought of Effie becoming the VP.

"Oh, no," the president said. "Not just yet. I just need to know a bit more about this... lady. In the meantime, please prepare for the announcement of the Vice President's resignation."

"Yes, sir, Mr. President."

to be continued...

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