I hovered my mouse over the ‘call’ button for a good minute before I finally closed my eyes, sighed, and worked up the nerve to click. It took a second for my laptop to register what I’d done but soon enough the familiar ringtone broke through and I could see the word ‘connecting’ on the screen. I waited for ten, twenty seconds thinking they weren’t going to pick up. I think I was hoping they weren’t going to pick up; my parents were never pleasant to talk to and even less so since I’d unexpectedly changed my major.

The ringtone stopped and my father’s face appeared on the screen. I gulped but made sure not to betray too much emotion.

“Aleah,” He said pleasantly. “I didn’t expect to hear from you this week.”

“Sorry I’ve been so busy lately,” I patronized him a bit. “I have a lot of responsibilities over here.”

He nodded and sort of smiled.

“Being the president of a sorority chapter is a huge responsibility,” He acknowledged. “It looks good on a resume though.”

“Yeah,” I nodded. “Speaking of which, I was wondering if I could get some help from you, I’m a little-“

He cut me off with a raise of his hand.

“Aleah we’ve been over this,” He said. “You went off on your own when you decided to change your major. I had everything set up for you; a college fund, a clear path through Harvard. Everything was there for you and you walked away for…good god Aleah, business administration.”

“Look, I’m sorry,” I said. “I like it, I really like it, I just need you to support me.”

“And Woodcrest?” He scoffed. “Of all the places you could have gone you chosen, Woodcrest?”

“Okay look,” I said defensively. “I know it’s not an Ivy League school like Brown or Harvard but it’s not like a degree from here is useless. Plus I’ve made a lot of good friends here. Dad, I’m actually enjoying my life for once.”

“College isn’t about enjoying life, Aleah,” He told me. “It’s about setting yourself up for success so you can enjoy the rest of your life and do something that you can be proud of – something that makes your family proud. Think about that.”

“So you’re not going to help me?” I should have been angrier but this is exactly what I’d expected.

“You know how I feel about it,” He said adamantly.

“And you know I’ve told you how many great opportunities there are in business admin,” I said. “I could work in a Fortune 500 company—”
“But you’re not going to!” He slammed his hand down on the desk. “We both know why you’re doing this and it’s ridiculous!”

I sighed. He was right. Not about it being ridiculous of course; I would never agree with him on that. On my motives though, he was right.
“There’s nothing wrong with what I’m doing,” I said angrily. “What’s wrong with wanting to work for a non-profit?”

“You have a bleeding heart and you need to put a band-aid on it, that’s what’s wrong. You aren’t going to get anywhere, you’re not going to be anybody if you just spend your time handing your labor out for free.”

“It’s not always about a paycheck, Dad,” I fumed.

“You’re still upset about you friend, Jake,” He asserted. “It wasn’t your fault. His parents did all they could—”

“Her name was Jayne!” I said firmly and full of anger, slamming the laptop shut.

I stood from my desk and grabbed my phone. Quickly and pretty angrily, I dialed Sakiya’s number. She picked up on the first ring.
“Well well, hello there little Gamma,” She said smugly. “What brings you to my phone this lovely afternoon?”

“Tonight,” I said. “8 PM. We’ll bring the letters you bring our pledge.”

“Well it sounds like someone finally came to their senses,” Sakiya gloated. “Meet us by the practice field.”

“Done,” I said, hanging up on her. The practice field, that was rich. The same spot I’d just hazed our pledges, I was practically going to be hazed myself. I really needed to get my life under control; this was getting out of hand.

“Tiffany!” I shouted as I exited the room. “We’re going to the storage unit!”

“Finally!” She called back.

I grabbed my purse and walked downstairs; she was perfectly make up, as always. I tried to remember if I’d ever seen her at her worst.

“My car or the van?” She asked as she followed me to the door.

“Van, obviously,” I said matter of factly.

“Hey wait, I’m coming too!” Isabella called after us as she followed. Whatever, she could lift the letters into the van. Not that they were heavy.

“You’re really doing this?” Tiffany asked quizzically as we climbed into the van and pulled out of the driveway.

“I’m really doing this,” I confirmed, keeping my eyes on the road.

“What made you change your mind?” Isabella leaned forward and perched herself in between the two front seats.

“As much as I like having the letters and TRI PI’s pride shoved in a storage unit,” I said. “Audrey is still a human being and she trusts us.”

“You’re still feeling guilty about Jayne,” Tiffany stated.

“Yeah,” I confirmed. “I’m still feeling guilty about Jayne.”

“Is anyone ever going to fill me in on the Jayne thing?” Isabella asked.

“It’s um…” I started. Tiffany was staring at me from the passenger seat. I was seriously on the spot here. “Just…another trans girl I knew, when I was in high school. Well I mean I grew up with her. I knew her since…middle school. Before she knew she was a she. Okay she said she always knew she was a she, but before she told me…”

“What happened to her?” Isabella asked. I didn’t want to answer that. I can’t describe how much I didn’t want to answer that. I concentrated on the road ahead, paying attention to the upcoming traffic lights and watching how they reflected against the wet road. I gave my windshield a single wipe, getting rid of the light water buildup. It wasn’t quite raining; more of a light sprinkle. We rode in silence; Isabella didn’t push the issue.

I flipped my turn signal on and took a left into the storage unit; the house paid for it, it was where we kept all of our excess crap. Extra pledge shirts, tables and chairs for events, you name it. Stopping at the gate, I rolled down my window and typed in our code at the keypad. The gate rumbled open and allowed us entry. After a bit of driving we finally pulled up to unit 186.

“Here we are,” I said.

“I can’t believe you put them in the house storage unit,” Tiffany shook her head.

“Last place anyone would look,” I said with a slight shrug.

“Yeah,” Tiffany said. “Because we’d get our asses handed to us if anyone found them.”

“Then it’s a good thing no one ever comes here besides us,” I said sarcastically as I opened my door and climbed down onto the blacktop. The sprinkling had stopped but the air was still heavy with moisture; this was going to wreak havoc on my hair.

“You have the key, right?” Tiffany asked just as we stood at the storage unit door.

“Oh crap,” I said, patting the sides of my pants.

“Aleah, your hands don’t have pockets,” Tiffany crossed her arms.

I chuckled a bit and reached into my purse, pulling out the key. It was a silver padlock key attached to a huge GAT keychain. It was really tacky, but hey.

Tiffany held the padlock up for me, I turned the key and she pulled it off.

“After you,” She said, waving her hand toward the door.

“Hey, I turned the key,” I argued.

“And I took the lock off,” She shrugged. We both turned to look at Isabella standing behind us.

“Seriously?” She said. “You can’t just open the door?”

“I could, but you know what?” I said. “We’re sisters, we work together.”

“You opened a lock and I have to lift a heavy door. That’s what you call working together?”

“Okay,” Tiffany smirked. “If it makes you happy we’ll all lift together on three.”

“You two are ridiculous,” Isabella rolled her eyes as she walked between us and gripped the handle on the bottom of the door, pulling it open.

“Where are they?” Tiffany asked me, walking in and flipping the light switch. The unit was bathed in a yellow light, plastic totes with the GAT letters written on the sides appearing before our eyes. It was one of the larger units so we had plenty of room to walk around. I could see the letters; I’d placed them against the wall in the back and covered them with a tarp. At the very least they weren’t going to be water damaged.

“Okay, help me get these,” I said to Tiffany as we made our way toward the back. Just as we reached them, I heard a rumbling behind me. I turned just in time to see Isabella slamming the door shut behind her. Tiffany and I stared at her.

“Here’s the deal,” Isabella said. “You’re going to tell me about Jayne or we’re going to be here all night.”

“Bitch, I can just throw you out of the way and open the door,” Tiffany started moving toward her, but I put a hand on her shoulder.
“Why does it matter?” I asked curiously.

“It matters because Jayne, whoever she was, seems to be your entire motivation for helping Audrey. Badly, I might add.”

“We’re not that bad at it,” Tiffany growled. “She’s not in jail, right?”

“No but I think she might have some serious trauma,” Isabella argued. “I mean unless that was your intent.”

“Oh come on,” I huffed. “Name one thing we did wrong with her.”

“You…need me to reiterate the current situation?” Isabella raised an eyebrow. “You two are supposed to be people that she trusts and you literally left her in the hands of TRI PI. Like, oh my god, seriously?”

“TRI PI isn’t going to hurt her,” I said defensively.

“Do you think her secret will be safe? Do you think she’s going to trust you again?”

I shrugged to both.

“Listen to me,” I said. “If I thought TRI PI was going to hurt her physically or emotionally I would have broken down their door THAT night. I know what can happen.”

“Why do you know?” Isabella crossed her arms and glared at me. “I really need you to help me out here because this is really concerning. Tell me about Jayne.”

“I can take her,” Tiffany said to me. “You don’t have to tell her anything.”

“Wait,” I said raising my hands in frustration. “We’re all sisters here. No one is going to ‘take’ anyone. I’ll tell you about Jayne.”

“You don’t have to do this,” Tiffany stared at me.

“Isabella is just as invested in Audrey as I am. She deserves to know where I’m coming from.”

“It’s your show, then,” Tiffany said as she took a seat on a stack of boxes.

I closed my eyes and took a deep breath; I could feel Isabella staring daggers into my soul from the front of the storage unit. I finally opened them again, she was still staring at me. Tiffany regarded me softly; she knew this was more than a touchy subject for me.

“Her name…when she was a guy…was Jake. That’s how I knew her at first. You know, back in the old days. We started dating around eight grade. I didn’t know he was a she. I wish I did, because you know, then I could have done something,” I paused and swallowed, thinking as the wind outside pounded the door of the storage unit briefly. The rollers rattled against the track, the light above our heads flickered.

“There’s nothing you could have done,” Tiffany said adamantly. I ignored her.

“I remember our first date,” I laughed. “We went to this stupid roller skating rink. I fell down a hundred times, she was always there to help me back up. She didn’t laugh at me, she was just…so gentle. She always listened to me, she talked to me, she…genuinely cared about my life. For my first boy…girlfriend I mean, that’s so special. I’ve never had anything like that since then. I don’t think I ever will again.”
“Remember the cheesecake?” Tiffany chuckled a little. I laughed. I remembered the cheesecake.

“Yeah, when I dropped mom’s cheesecake on the floor and Jake…Jayne came over and made a new one, just like it so she wouldn’t notice. She just dropped everything and came over. But it wasn’t big things like that…it was…that smile she would give me when I was stressing out or worried, or upset. It wasn’t condescending it was like…letting me know that it would be okay and that…that she would be there for me.”

I was crying. I could feel the tears forming and running down my cheeks. Isabella’s hardened expression was diminishing. I could feel Tiffany’s hand slowly sliding into mine. I appreciated the warmth; I squeezed it. She squeezed back.

“What happened to her?” Isabella asked softly, moving toward us, away from the door.

“That’s…that’s where things get really messed up,” I locked eyes with Isabella. “She came out…as trans. To me first. We were laying on this blanket in my backyard and she said it so…simply. She just said ‘Aleah, I think I’m a woman’. That was it. It was such a small thing but you know now that I think back it’s like…what did it take for her to get to that point? To a point where she was just okay with saying it out loud? I guess that’s why I’m so sympathetic with Audrey. I mean yeah she broke into our house and it was a little creepy-“

“A lot creepy,” Tiffany corrected.

“Okay, a lot creepy but maybe it was all she thought she could do. Maybe she was SO trapped inside her own head that it didn’t occur to her to ask for help. But who would she even ask for help? She didn’t know who she could trust. I just think…yeah, Audrey needs a lesson in what’s appropriate and what isn’t but she also needs to be handled…gently.”

“You let her get…kidnapped,” Isabella said quietly. I ignored her. The wind pounded against the door again. It was going to storm. I checked my phone; it was 6:45. We had to wrap this up soon.

“When she…when she came out,” I continued. “I mean I was confused, really confused. I didn’t understand what trans was or what she was feeling but she was so patient with me. I did so many stupid things and I said…things that I regret SO much but she…she stood by me and helped me learn, even though it wasn’t her place to do that. She should have just walked away from me but she didn’t. I remember when she came out to her parents, finally. I went with her and…”

“And what?” Isabella asked after a literal two minutes of silence. “What happened?”

“They blamed me. They said I put the idea into her head,” I felt the tears pouring down my cheeks. I could hear them splattering against the floor. I was so acutely aware of everything. The howling of the wind outside, the suffocating warmth inside the storage unit, the denim material of my jacket clinging to my heavily moisturized skin. I so didn’t want to be here. I so didn’t want to be going through this again but maybe it was good to get it out. “They screamed at me, they told me to get out. I didn’t even get to say goodbye to her. They were calling the police on me. I…got up and ran…I shouldn’t have. I should have held her. I should have told her it was going to be okay but I thought…I thought I was going to see her at school in the morning. I didn’t. They pulled her out of school and they sent her somewhere…to some place.”

“What?” Isabella frowned. “Where did they send her?”

“Some kind of re-education thing,” Tiffany answered for me. “Like, a church run thing. They teach you not to be gay, or trans or whatever.”

“I don’t know what happened to her there,” I said, shaking my head. “But she came back in the summer and…I tried to talk to her. She was different. She told me she didn’t want to be with me. I…it’s not…it wasn’t fair!”

I screamed. I turned and punched one of the crates as hard as I could. I punched it again, and again, and again. I could feel Tiffany and Isabella’s hands on me, pulling me back, embracing me. I struggled hard but eventually fell into the embrace, sobbing into Tiffany’s shoulder.

“I loved her,” I shouted into the fabric of her windbreaker. “I loved her and they took her from me. I loved her. I loved her. I loved her. Why, god why did they take her from me?”

“It’s okay,” Isabella said. “It’ll be okay, I promise.”

“It’s not okay!” I screamed, pulling away from Tiffany and turning to face Isabella. “They made her live like that…like a man. She started going to church, and…talking about how she’d been cured, and how she was happy. And then what? Then she hung herself, in her closet. She HUNG herself. She was such a beautiful person inside and out and she died in the back of a stupid closet. How dare you tell me it’s going to be okay? It’s not going to be OKAY you stupid bitch!”

“Calm down,” Tiffany put a hand on my shoulder. “Concentrate on what we’re doing now. Think about Audrey.”

“Yeah, Audrey,” I said. “Audrey isn’t her.”

“So you’ve said,” Tiffany reminded me. “To her face.”

I wiped my eyes.

“Let’s just get the letters,” I said. “We have to finish this before it starts storming.”