There are five of us here for the dinner. It was in this moment I realized how shocked I was that more sisters never stayed for dinner in the house, seriously. Today is was me, Aleah, Isabella, Amelie, and Lauren. They were nervous, but I wasn’t.

“Are you sure you want to do this?” Amelie asked me. She was our house mother. For those of you who aren’t up on sorority lingo, the house mother is on the payroll, she’s the person whose sort of supposed to guide us and give us advice. Amelie was a Gamma alumni, I guess she’d been the chapter president about eight years ago and now she was here to relive her old college days. She’d insisted on being here for this dinner. I don’t know why; it’s not like we couldn’t handle it.

“Yeah, I want her out of my life,” I said simply.

Amelie nodded.

“You know it might not be that simple, right?” She said quietly. “You need to be ready to deal with the fallout, if there is any.”

“There’s not going to be any fallout,” Aleah said, checking the roast in the crock pot. I’d put it in there earlier in the day; it should have been ready by now. I watched Aleah confirm it by pulling off a small piece and tasting. She nodded. We probably could have done this with takeout.

“You girls are going to have to start listening to me at some point,” Amelie lectured. “Why am I even here if you’re not going to?”

“I listen to you,” Isabella piped up.

“Yes sweetie, you’re one of the good ones,” Amelie half smiled toward her.

“Hey do we want to pull out the good dishes?” Lauren suggested, pointing toward the cabinet where we kept the ‘good’ china. You know, the kind we would pull out for Christmas, or Thanksgiving.

“I really don’t want her to think something’s up,” Aleah replied. “Just use the regular dishes.”

“I think she’s going to know something’s up when she sees someone actually cooked,” Amelie said as she pulled the plates from the cupboard and began setting the table.

“Oh you are absolutely hilarious,” Aleah rolled her eyes.

The doorbell rang. Honestly, Audrey could have just walked right in and no one would have cared but hey, she had to keep up appearances for Chastity. I had to remind myself that until Chastity knew, we had to act like Audrey had never been to this house, ever. That was going to be hard. After a brief argument over who was going to get the door I found myself walking across the living room and pulling it open. Chastity and Audrey were standing there, and I was kind of taken aback; I’d never seen Audrey in nice clothes – not male clothes anyway. I’d seen her in my clothes, obviously, but today she was wearing a nice button up shirt and pressed khaki pants; probably something Chastity had made her wear. I wondered if it upset her. I forced myself to stop thinking about that and smiled at them.

“Hey Chastity!” I said as I embraced her in a huge. “It’s so great to see you again!”

“I know!” She said, hugging me back. “We need to do this more often!”

Over her shoulder as we hugged I could see Audrey there looking horribly awkward. Maybe confused? Horrified? All of those rolled into one? I guess she’d been counting down the days, and probably not in a good way. Part of me wanted to ask if she was okay, the other part of me just wanted to watch her squirm. The latter won out.

“Oh, let me take your coats!” Amelie said, walking briskly through the living room. “My name is Amelie, I’m so glad to meet both of you!”
I smirked a bit. Amelie was as good at acting as any of us. It was no wonder she was our house mother.

“You know, I would have us sit for a while and talk but dinner’s actually ready,” I laughed as I accompanied Chastity to the dining room with Audrey following closely behind. She hadn’t said a word since she entered the house. I thought about asking her if she was okay, or maybe it would be better to watch her squirm. I chose the latter.

“Oh that’s okay, we’re starving!” Chastity said happily.

“Is that right?” I smirked at Audrey. She would be starving; she never eats. She saw my smirk and blushed, averting her gaze to the floor.

“Oh my god, Tiffany,” Chastity said as we moved into the kitchen and sat around the table. “I absolutely love your top; where did you get it?”

“Oh this old thing?” I motioned down to the silky pink scoop-neck I was wearing. “I got it on sale, it was about ten bucks, if you can believe that.”

“Jeez,” She said. “Do they have any left?”

“They might,” I laughed. “They were all in different sizes on the clearance rack though.”

“So!” Amelie announced as she lightly clapped her hands. “Ladies, tonight we have a pork roast, made by the lovely Aleah, and mashed potatoes, of course-“

“Aren’t you leaving Todd out? We’re not all ladies,” Chastity asked with mock offense.

“Oh, jeez,” Amelie said. I froze a bit. No one wanted to actually misgender Todd. Good thing it wouldn’t be a problem after tonight. “Well, Todd can be an honorary lady tonight!”

There was nervous laughter around the table from everyone but Chastity – her laughter was less than nervous.

“Well alright,” She grinned. “I’m sure Todd would make a great girl.”

More laughter. She would definitely be okay with this.

We continued talking for like an hour I think. We talked to Chastity about her classes, asked her about her plans after graduation. It was all really normal, kind of like the old days, but nothing like them. Audrey said absolutely nothing. Finally, I spoke to her.

“So um, Todd, that’s your name, right?” I said, locking eyes with her.

“Oh…yeah, heh, that’s my name,” She said, looking at me nervously.

“What do you do? What’s your major?” I passed it off as a very casual question. I knew her major was English; I just wanted to get her into the conversation.

“It’s uh…it’s journalism,” She practically squeaked it out.

“That’s…exciting,” I said. It wasn’t exciting. “What do you want to do after school?”

“Well I guess I could work for an editor, like Penguin Press or something,” She shrugged. “But you know, I’d…rather write books, and stuff.”

“Books about what?” Aleah seemed intrigued.

“Oh my gosh,” Chastity interrupted. “Todd is the BIGGEST fantasy buff ever. He reads those Lord of the Rings books…and plays those online games.”

“Oh you’re a gamer?” Isabella said, her face lighting up a bit. “What do you play?”

“I…mostly play Dark Pantheon with my roommate, Mason,” She shrugged. “It’s…I mean it’s okay, but I guess I just haven’t been that interested in gaming lately.”

“And that’s a GOOD thing,” Chastity laughed, taking Audrey’s hand and interlocking their fingers momentarily. “He used to spend ALL day on those games.”

“Yeah, I guess I did overdo it a bit,” Audrey admitted.

“A bit?” Chastity raised an eyebrow. “You spent an entire weekend on it, you didn’t even eat.”

Audrey never ate anyway.

Chastity looked at her empty plate and sighed.

“You know, I hate to do this,” She said. “But I have to get up early tomorrow so I think I’m going to split. It was great seeing you again though, Tiffany, and it was great meeting all of you!”

“Oh, yeah,” Audrey said. “We really should get going.”

No one was going to let her off that easy.

“Actually…”I started.

“We need to talk about something,” Aleah interrupted me, looking directly at Audrey who was now squeezing her eyes shut and literally quivering. Chastity looked around the table, a bit curious and finally asked.

“What is it?”

“Well it’s uh…it’s about your boyfriend,” Aleah said. I watched Amelie fold her hands on the table, simply observing the situation. Isabella quietly slid out of her chair and went to stand by the back door.

“What is this?” Chastity asked. She wasn’t mad or anything, not yet.

“Okay well, to start,” Aleah said. “This isn’t the first time Todd’s been here. We all know Todd, very, very well.”

I watched as Chastity turned and stared at Audrey whose head was still hung. She didn’t even dare to speak. Maybe she was hoping that the moment would pass with someone announcing it was all a joke. No such luck, Audrey.

“I think,” Amelie said, finally speaking up. “That maybe Todd should be the one to say it. It’s not really our place, is it?”

I looked over at Audrey who had turned probably four different shades of red and was on the verge of tears. Seriously. I felt like she wasn’t even capable of speaking at this point.

“Todd you’re going to have to say something,” Said, staring at her until she finally made eye contact with her. “She needs to know, it’s not fair of you to do this to her, seriously.”

“I…” Audrey started to say, but the rest of her words came out as some kind of choking sound.

“Are you…are you cheating on me with one of them?” Chastity demanded, turning to Audrey as she moved to stand up from her chair.
“Oh, I wish it were that simple,” Lauren said from across the table.

“Well if you’re not cheating then what is it?” She demanded. Her voice was getting heated, really heated. She was almost angry.

“Todd, say it,” I pushed. “Just say it.”

“You…you can’t make me do this,” Audrey stammered. “I needed more time…”

“More time for what?” I said sharply. “How long were you planning to date her before you said something? Do you really want her to find out that your entire relationship was a lie ten years from now?”

“I’m sorry, what?” Chastity finally pushed her chair back and stood up from the table, glaring down at Audrey who was now practically cowering in her chair. “Todd, whatever it is you’d better say it right now or I’m walking out, and don’t you even bother to call me.”

Audrey snapped to life and tried to stand, but forgot to push her chair out first. She stumbled as it fell backward and slammed into the kitchen floor. She grabbed the table for support.

“Chastity,” She gasped. She was crying now. “I don’t…I don’t…”

“You don’t want to what?” Chastity demanded. “Would someone tell me what’s going on? I’m about to leave, seriously.”

Audrey looked at me, her eyes pleading.

“Do you want me to say it?” I asked her. She knew I was the only person in here that would do it. She nodded slowly.

All eyes were on me now. You know, from everything I’d read online, what we were doing now wasn’t really a good idea. In a way we were kind of forcing her to come out to Chastity but, honestly, could we let her keep lying? She was basically leading her on even if that wasn’t the intent. Was this okay? Was it our business? Well, technically she made it our business when she broke into our house, I guess.

“Aleah,” I said. “The pictures.”

Aleah unlocked her phone and handed it to me with one of the pictures already up. I glanced at it for a second before holding the phone out for Chastity to take. Audrey looked completely mortified. I almost felt bad for her. Almost. Chastity locked eyes with me as she took the phone, and them glanced down at the screen.

“Well she’s really pretty,” Chasity said, her eyes moving over the screen “But who is she?”

She looked up from the phone, and back to me, then back to Aleah. Aleah raised a finger, pointing across the table at Audrey who was now leaning against the wall with her head in her hands. Chastity looked back at the phone, and then back at Audrey.

“No it isn’t,” She said accusingly. “What is this? What’s going on?”

I sighed.

“Chastity, Todd isn’t…a guy. Never has been, she’s a trans girl, her name is Audrey. There, now you know. Maybe you two should talk about it.”

“That’s…that’s not even possible,” Chasity said, looking from Audrey, to the phone, and then back to me. “I would have known.”

“Well to be really fair to you,” I said. “We just though she was some kind of pervert. She’s super quiet, never talks to anyone; I’m not even sure how she ended up with you. Like, we didn’t even know until last week.”

There was a moment of awkward silence as Chastity digested the information, and then finally turned to Audrey.

“Todd,” She said firmly. “Look at me. Take your head out of your hands and look at me.”

Audrey slowly lifted her head and finally made eye contact with Chastity who was glaring at her. You would have needed a chainsaw to cut through this tension.

“Yes,” Todd whispered. It was like a complete repeat of the scene last week, just with more people present. We were all staring intently at Chastity, wondering what she would do next. We probably hadn’t handled this very well. Oh well, a little late for regrets now, right?

“So you’ve been lying to me,” She accused. It was true, technically, though that approach was a little harsh.

“I didn’t…didn’t want to lose you,” Audrey said. “I thought…I just thought—”

“How long?” Chastity demanded. “How long have you known?”

“I…since I was six I guess?”

“And you just…decided not to tell me before we got together?”

“You know, it can be really hard to come out with this sort of thing,” Aleah tried to help. “I don’t think she meant to hurt you.”

“He,” Chastity corrected.

“Excuse me?” Aleah said, pushing her chair back and standing up from the table. From the corner of my eye I saw Isabella begin to move back toward us.

“Look,” Chastity said. “If you have a penis you’re a boy, if you have a vagina, you’re a girl. You might think you’re a girl, Todd, but that just means you need help, serious help.”

“Um, woah,” Lauren interjected, she stood up alongside Aleah. “That’s like…not even…wow.”

“That’s kinda not what I expected you to say,” I looked at Chastity. I was genuinely surprised. Seriously.

“How exactly did you think I would react?” She snapped at me.

“I guess…I thought you would be okay with it,” I said, shocked. “I mean you’re…bi and everything, right?”

“That doesn’t mean I’m okay with freaks!” She practically screamed. “And that doesn’t mean I want my boyfriend to…wear dresses! Oh my god!”

“Chastity…” Audrey said, reaching out to touch her arm. Chastity jerked backward and glared at her.

“Stay away from me!” She shrieked. “Don’t touch me!”

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m so sorry,” Audrey wailed. “I didn’t…I don’t…”

She was just blubbering at this point. Tears were streaming down her face. I’d seen her upset before but never anything like this. Her eyes were empty, it was like the soul had been sucked out of her body in a single instant. A lump was forming in my throat as I stood there surveying the scene, rife with mental anguish, and it was beginning to dawn on me that it had been my fault. I’d pushed her, I’d done this.

“Audrey,” Aleah spoke. Her voice was firm, but gentle. “Go with Lauren, upstairs to the bedroom. Don’t leave that room until I come for you.”

“But—” Audrey protested, still staring at Chastity who was glaring at Aleah.

“GO,” Aleah commanded.

Within seconds they were gone, Lauren walking behind Audrey up the stairs. We could hear Audrey’s quiet sobs as she disappeared onto the second floor. We returned our attention to Chastity. Aleah’s hand was balled into a fist.

“You listen to me,” Aleah said. “You know who we are, Gamma Alpha Tau. You know what we can do. If you breathe a single word about this to ANYONE, your friend, your teachers, your mother, your pet goldfish, we WILL know, and you can kiss your scholarship goodbye.”
“Wait, so you’re blackmailing me?” Chastity shook her head. “I just had my life RUINED and you’re telling me I can’t TALK to anyone about it?”

“Your life isn’t ruined,” Aleah said. “Hers might be.”

“Hers?” Chastity growled. “What am I supposed to do?”

“I suggest,” Aleah said. “That you lean to keep a journal, and talk to that, because you’re not telling anyone about her.”

Maybe we should follow our own advice next time.

Chastity stormed around the table and made her way to the living room, grabbing her purse from the couch and her jacket from the hook by the door.

“I won’t tell anyone,” She said, turning around to face us one last time as we followed her as far as the couch. “He’s your problem now.”

I stood there, my feet frozen to the floor as I stared at the front door. Jesus Christ, what had we just done?