Charles is happy in his own space until he is drawn out into the open

Charles was just about resisting the temptation to go on YouTube. He’d been pounding spreadsheets since early in the morning and needed a break. The upside was that he was working from home and avoiding the A38(M) and M6 traffic jam. He intended to take a break soon and get some housework done, as a single man he only had himself to look after but he liked an orderly house.

He nearly jumped out of his skin when there was a sudden splash of soapy water against the window of the room he used as an office. He’d forgotten it was the window cleaner’s fortnightly visit, equally suddenly the squeegee cleared the suds and a smiling face waved and moved on to the next pane. His house was a bungalow so they didn’t need ladders.

The cleaners could be seen across the road, as his property faced the turning head of the cul-de-sac he saw most things going on but it was quiet, most people had gone to work. ‘Let’s fire up the coffee machine’ he thought, and he went into the kitchen at the back of the house.
He looked into the back garden to see if his pet rabbits Malt & Hops were on the lawn. Sure enough the brown and grey Flemish Giant bunnies were chasing each other, pausing every now and then for a refuel of tasty grass. Back in the office he watched a couple of music videos then reluctantly opened another file of data that required analysis. Fortunately, this was a research initiative and he had some ideas to find some trends, the previous work was the obligatory part of his day, this was the rewarding part.

He had worked for about 10 minutes when something caught his eye, a sudden movement on the front lawn, something brown, then something grey, heading onto the road across the pavement. Damn, the cleaners must have left the gate open. This had happened before and they got into a neighbour’s vegetable patch. Being large rabbits they caused a fair bit of damage before he found them. He wasn’t too worried about traffic but dropped everything grabbed his keys and phone and was about to set off after them. Quick thought ‘get a carrot’ they’d come to him for that.

As he opened the front door he saw them heading into Jennifer’s back garden directly opposite. Good, she’s got gates, she normally left them open but he could shut them and confine them there. There was no car on her drive so he assumed the house was empty. He saw them go in the right hand side so he went and shut the left gate then followed them into the back garden shutting the other gate behind him.

Jennifer said later that she didn’t know who was more surprised. Herself having her garden invaded by 2 giant rabbits and a flustered owner or Charles who didn’t expect there to be anyone there.

“Wow, unexpected visitors, hello boys and err Charlie as well. I see the escapologists are at it again.” She smiled at Charles’ predicament and the look of shock on his face.

“What’s happening dear?” asked a lady wearing very dark glasses sat with Jennifer at a garden table.

“Nanny we have a visitor. One of my neighbours, it appears they are trying to catch their pets.”
“Charlie, this is my Grandmother Edith, we were just about have a pot of tea would you like to join us? Nanny has glaucoma so her sight isn’t great. Come inside Charlie and help me get an extra cup and plate.”

Charlie, still in a state of shock and surprise, followed dutifully.

“I’m loving the look Charlie, stay still a moment we just need enhance a couple of details.”

Jennifer returned in a moment and sprayed his neck and wrists with ‘Charlie’ perfume, applied a glossy red lipstick and finally clipped a pair of hoop ear-rings on him.

“There, I think that rounds you off nicely.”

“I can explain.” Said Charles.

“Don’t worry, you daft bat, I’ve seen you many times, also you hang your clothes on the washing line, do you think I wouldn’t wonder who they were for?”

“I don’t mean any harm, I didn’t intend to be seen, it was the boys they…”

“I think your surprise was obvious, didn’t expect there to be anyone home eh? No car on the drive. I’m loving the look, you must tell me the brand of tights you’re wearing and that suede skirt is a beauty. Not overdone the boobies and a nice unisex bob for the hairstyle. Well done.”

“Thanks, I think. I’m not a perv. I just like the feel of the clothes and the look. I don’t know anything about makeup and was always worried about leaving traces.”

“Most of my friends and myself would say they don’t wear much if any makeup when at home. I do like a spritz of perfume tho’. Edith is a darling, you’ve nothing to worry about, her hearing is shot and her eyesight is worse. Come and have a cuppa with us.”

“OK just for a while, I need to get back before anyone see’s me.”

“Help me with this tray of cake, I’ll get you a cup and saucer.”

“No mugs?” smiled Charles.

“When Edith is here things are done proper, dontcha know.”

“Of course what was I thinking of?” Charles smiled.

“Precisely, anymore lowering of standards and I’ll pop you into a maid’s uniform as punishment.”

“That’s a punishment?” Charles smiled imagining the experience.

“Steady young lady, I will retain that thought for another time. When you go out introduce yourself to Edith and then hold her hand, it’s how she identifies with people. You’ll be fine, keep your voice soft.”

They went outside and re-joined Edith. After setting tray down Charles introduced himself to Edith.

“Hello Edith, I’m Charlie, I live opposite Jennifer, lovely to meet you.”

“Come here dear, take my hand.” Edith reached out and Charles went over to let her touch his hands.

“Oh so soft, yet strong, are you a typist dear?”

Charles smiled at the image a ‘typist’ conjured up. “Sort of, Edith. I work with computers so I use a keyboard.”

“I thought so.” she said. “Lovely feminine hands, long and slender. Shame about your nails though, work needed there girl.” She continued to stroke and feel Charles’s hands. “Hmm, no rings, or bracelets, not engaged or married then, but there was a ring once, I feel the imprint. I expect the boys will be fighting over you two, why is Jennifer not taken yet? I don’t understand it.”

“No one for me at present Edith, yes, there was someone a few years ago.” Charles went silent. “There was an accident and...”

“I’m so sorry dear, delving where I shouldn’t, ignore a batty old lady and her pseudo palmistry.”
“It’s fine, nothing to worry about. It was a happy time.” Charles stroked her hands in return, hands that had felt 80 or more years of life and all its experiences. “Let’s get some cake and tea and talk nonsense instead.”

“A capital idea, milk first, and one sugar if you please. What sort of cake has my granddaughter provided?”

“Battenberg or Lemon drizzle.” Replied Charles. He was becoming aware Jennifer had now left him with Edith for a few minutes.

“I haven’t had Battenberg for ages, cut me a decent slice I can break it up myself.”

Jennifer joined them at last. “Is my neighbour looking after you Nanny?”

“Oh she’s lovely, we’re getting on like a house on fire. She’s given me an idea though.”

“I see, what that’s then Nanny?”

“I felt your hands earlier, and now I’ve felt Charlie’s and something needs to be done.”

“Needs to be done?”

“Yes dear I think we all need to have a visit to a manicurist. You and Charlie have let your nails go and I’m going to treat you both.”

Jennifer looked at Charles’s face and saw the horror.

“I was thinking we could see if we can get an appointment when we go to collect your car this afternoon.”

Charles felt he had to reply. “You are very kind Edith but I have to get back to my work, your company has been lovely and I would love to take tea with you again.”

“Such a shame, another time perhaps? I’ll get my girl sorted out anyway.”

“Nanny!” said Jennifer.

“I need to take you in hand my dear, how will you ever bring me great grandchildren if I don’t make marriage material of you?” There was a wicked edge to Edith’s voice.

“I will need to make my excuses and leave. It was lovely to meet you Edith.”

“Come on Charlie, you get Malt and I’ll get Hops and I’ll walk over with you. I’ll be back in a moment Nanny”

“Bye Charlie, come again dear.”

“I’ll look forward to it.” Replied Charlie.

They collected the boys and set off back to Charles’s. Two contented bunny’s resumed eating their own grass after their adventure. Unknowingly they had set in train a course of events that would lead their owner to new experiences.

“I’ll come around later, we have much to talk about.” Said Jennifer. “I’ll drop Nanny back at her flat after I get my car.”

“OK, that’ll be nice.” Charles had thought about offering to drive them down but realised in time that would have meant going as he was, and he wasn’t ready for that.

“I’d like to see you looking nice, don’t disappoint. I’ll bring fizz.” With that she was gone.

Charles sat down in front of his computer. He couldn’t work. He couldn’t concentrate. What had he done, tears came.

Back at Jennifer’s….

“Ah, you’re back.”

“Yes Nanny.”

“I like your friend she’s very pleasant.”

“Yes she’s very nice I’m going to see her tonight.”

“How much of a friend is she? You’re not batting for the other side I hope?”

“Nanny!”

“Just checking on my family tree.”

“You are a wicked old lady and I love you.”

Edith laughed and laughed.

To be continued…..